Corrupt-A-Wish

[Fencesitter]

Granted. It falls into your soup and drowns, and you only find it after having eaten most of the soup.

I wish I could stop smoking.

[Dusty]

Granted, but then you become addicted to chewing gum and coke-a-cola.

I wish i could sleep more

[Fencesitter]

Granted. You prick your finger on a spindle, fall asleep for 100 years, and a prince with the personality of an >-bleeped-< kisses you awake and marries you.

I wish I'll have tasty food tonight.

[Dusty]

Granted but you eat too much and then feel icky after eating

I wish my phones "lock" button wasn't broken.

[Raven]

Granted your phones lock button is no longer broken. But the other buttons are now broken. I wish I had my own house.

[Fencesitter]

You have a house of your own now. It's broken, and in a region where it's really dangerous to live as a trans person.

I wish I could write long texts on paper without smearing most of it (I'm left-handed).

[rexgsd]

Granted! But only now you can't write at all! :B

I wish i had a big old cadillac with big old fins so i could drive around and show it off to all the guys at school! >=)

[Fencesitter]

Granted. But it costs you so much money that you're homeless now.

I wish I had more contracts for my work as a translator.

[Dusty]

Granted, but soon you have too much work and begin translating incorrectly

I wish i wasn't allergic to fish

[justmeinoz]

Granted, but you have now become allergic to chips.

I wish my garage was tidy.

[Dusty]

Granted, but then its not a garage so it has to be torn down and made untidy again

I wish that i had two pet snakes named Curly and Moe

[Osiris]

Granted, but one's a rattle snake and the other is a black mamba. Plus you have no containers to keep them in and no antidote for their venom. Good luck.

I wish I didn't have to deal with that monthly feminine issue. >.<

[Dusty]

Granted, but then you get male pms, which is ten times worse, plus nightly male issues every night, twice a night.

I wish my Chinese food wasn't so spicy

[xAndrewx]

Granted, but your chinese food is so bland it doesn't taste good at all

Now I wish... I had chinese food

[Osiris]

Granted, but the food is a month old. =/

I wish I didn't have such bad mood swings.

[Dusty]

Granted, but then you would be monotone, uninteresting and always compared to a robot.

I wish i could get jushi her migraine medicine.

[glendagladwitch]

I wish i could get jushi her migraine medicine.

Granted.  But on the way home from the pharmacy, you are bamboozled into trading them for "magic beans."

I wish to win the lottery.

[Janet_Girl]

Granted:  You are now next in line for the sacrifice to the dragon.

I wish I could be whole for one day

[V M]

Granted... The gods hear your plea but don't speak good English and so now your a pothole on a NY city street

I wish I could quit my bad habits

[Raven]

Granted, but now you have new bad habits. I wish I could go ahead and divorce my ex.