Corrupt-A-Wish

[justmeinoz]

You do, and 5 minutes later she wins $400 million in the lottery.

I wish the cat would stop moaning and catch the mouse in the ceiling.

[V M]

Granted... The cat stops moaning and is now also up in the ceiling... But can't catch the mouse and their constant chasing about drives you bonkers and you get hauled off to the happy house for constantly yelling at the ceiling every place you go

I wish I could win $400 Million in the lottery

[justmeinoz]

You do, but because your ex bought the ticket for you, she claims it.  The lawyers bills total $400,000,000.01

I wish I had some pancakes with maple syrup.

[rexgsd]

You do, but theres more maple syrup than pancake and its just unappeitizing now =P

I wish i could get gasoline for free

[Dusty]

granted, but you can only drink the free gasoline.

i wish i could yell at the moon with Buzz Aldrin.

[rite_of_inversion]

"i wish i could yell at the moon with Buzz Aldrin. "

You only can do so because the poor guy fell off the wagon and has been on a three-day drinking binge. (love you Mr Aldrin)

I wish I could drive a Porsche 944 at 180 MPH...

[LordKAT]

Granted but you crash and die so now can only drive as a ghost.


I wish to complete transition in a timely fashion as in 2 years and not 20 as it is costing me now.

[rite_of_inversion]

Granted. You do so because I crashed into you in my Porsche, and the insurance settlement from the resulting paraplegia allows you to fully transition rapidly...in the physical rehabilitation hospital.

I want to be more energetic.

[Janet_Girl]

Granted:  You are now so energetic that you can not sleep for the 20 years.

I wish I would not sleep so much.

[justmeinoz]

You don't.  You now suffer from insomnia.

I wish I had another bottle of Champagne.

[Dusty]

granted, but you suddenly realize that you hate this particular bottle and have a breakdown

I wish i didn't have to go to a party tonight

[Fencesitter]

Granted. The other invited guests have just agreed that they all hate you and have asked you explicitely not to come.

I wish I could sleep well tonight.

[Raven]

Granted, but you sleep so well you slept through your alarm and miss your appoinntment. I wish I had an million bucks.

[Janet_Girl]

Granted: You now have a million Bucks, but like any good herd you now also have 4 million Does.

I wish it was still SUmmer

[Fencesitter]

Granted. The earth does not rotate around the sun any more, so you're stuck with summer for the rest of your life. Unfortunately, the earth also does not spin around its own axis any more, so the average temperture in your region rises to 500°C.

I wish I had a cat.

[rexgsd]

You do, but it's a sabertooth and you have to leave your house so it doesnt kill you

I wish i could smoke and have it not be bad for me

[glendagladwitch]

You do, but it's a sabertooth and you have to leave your house so it doesnt kill you

I wish i could smoke and have it not be bad for me

Granted.  Now when you smoke, other people get cancer.

I wish for telekinetic powers.

[Fencesitter]

Granted. You use them to rob a bank, get caught and land in prison for 10 years. 

I wish I had a melon here.

[justmeinoz]

You do , but you don't have a refridgerator so the 47 kg you didn't eat goes off.

I wish there was something decent on TV.

[Dusty]

granted, but then your cable goes out and you can't watch it

i wish my homework would do itself.