Corrupt-A-Wish

[jamherst]

Granted, but your eyes have dried out from staying open for too long.

I wish I had a meatball sub right now..

[V M]

Granted... You now have a meatball sub that is four feet long and have been entered into a contest to eat all of it before your opponent finishes theirs

I wish I had a new car so I don't have to ride my bicycle to the store in the freezing cold

[rexgsd]

you do, but its so new its actually from the future and you cant understand how to operate it

i wish i could teleport to the store and get some diet pepsi

[Michael Joseph]

you do but the store you teleport to is across the world and you have no way to get home.

I wish i could could finally win a million dollars on a scratch ticket

[glendagladwitch]

Granted, but it happens so far into the future, that inflation has compounded to the point that a loaf of bread costs two-million dollars.


I wish a distant, unknown relative would leave me their family fortune.

[justmeinoz]

Unfortunately you are also unknown to their executors and as they can't find you,  the family fortune is left to a cats home.

I wish I didn't have this sinus infection.

[jamherst]

You're cured but now you have a chest infection.

I wish I won't get crazy acne on T...

[Michael Joseph]

Granted, but you body had a weird reaction, so instead you got a crazy rash all over your body.

I wish i could fall asleep at night

[A]

Granted. Thanks to your newly found narcolepsy, you can now fall asleep at night. At noon, too. And at a supper, too.

I wish clean clothes would fold itself alone.

[Lee]

It does, but it also ties itself in knots, origami cranes, etc, leaving you with really weird wrinkle patters.

I wish pomegranates were easier to eat.

[SnailPace]

It does, but it also ties itself in knots, origami cranes, etc, leaving you with really weird wrinkle patters.

I wish pomegranates were easier to eat.

Granted! Pomegranates are so easy to eat that you forget how to eat anything else! It's all so complicated now... too bad you're a television chef!

I wish that I had bigger muscles.

[justmeinoz]

Granted, your toe muscles are so big you are in the Guinness Book of Records.

I wish the rosellas that have nested in the roof (wasn't mice after all!) would all  fly away.

[A]

Granted. A tornado passes by and the rosellas fly away. Your roof does, too.

I wish I could keep a job.

[Lee]

You now have a job for life, and that job is garbage collector.

I wish I were a better dancer.

[jamherst]

You are!! And...you've just snapped your achilles tendon and your career is over.

I wish I wasn't constipated right now.

[A]

Granted. You have diarrhea right now.

I wish I could sleep well without my sleeping pill.

[Lee]

Granted, but you realize that you've become addicted to sleeping pills and need to take them anyways.

I wish I looked this cool in sunglasses. 

You are!! And...you've just snapped your achilles tendon and your career is over.

Side note: this actually happened to a friend of mine who is a dance teacher.  She was dancing when a mirror fell off the wall and severed her achilles tendon.  Several surgeries and about a year later she's just starting to dance again. 

[jamherst]

Granted--your new cool sunglasses comes with a disability cane.

I wish my room was warm.

[some ftm guy]

granted! your room is 130 degrees now

i wish i was asleep right now

[Michael Joseph]

Granted, but you fall asleep for so long you miss all the plans you had for tommorow.

I wish my crush liked me back.