Corrupt-A-Wish

[Lee]

Granted, but then people start to wonder why you have lipstick made out of blood.

I wish all of my scars, physical and mental, would go away.

[Glenn]

Granted but you find yourself just being born again having just been swatted on the ass by the doctor making you cry.  Then you hear those dreaded words. "It's a boy!"

I wish I could could make everyone smile today.

[Lee]

Granted.  You perform some improv comedy at work on your boss' desk.  Ends up he doesn't have the same appreciation for chicken suits and knock knock jokes, and you end up fired.

I wish my bonsai cherry tree would stop being fussy and grow well.

[A]

Granted ; its growh is excellent... Too excellent. It's no bonsai anymore and you need to find a greenhouse.

I wish I were faster.

[Dante]

Granted, you are now faster. But once you start moving, you have to keep going at the same speed; you can only speed up.

I wish that I ace all my finals and somehow pass Biology!

[justmeinoz]

Granted. You pass all your Finals including Biology with Honours.  You then have a religious Epiphany, and go and live in a cave as an ascetic  hermit.

I wish mangos were less than $3 each.

[Lee]

Granted, but they are now harvested by child slave workers to cut costs.

I wish peaches were in season.

[Glenn]

Granted, but they are now harvested by child slave workers to cut costs.

I wish peaches were in season.

EWWWW 

Granted peaches are in season and you go get a big basket of them. Just as you arrive home the bottom of the basket breaks open leaving you're poor peaches Bruised 

I wish peaches were in season for you!

[Dante]

Erm... granted? But they all taste like juicy dirt.

I wish I had a supercomputer.

[Lee]

You are the proud new owner of the Tianhe-1A, but now you have to pay for its upkeep.

I wish hiking didn't hurt my knees.

[A]

Granted. Hiking hurts your feet.

I wish I did not need any sleep.

[Glenn]

Granted you do not need sleep. but you are now 12 inches long covered in scales and breath water though gills


I wish it would stop snowing

[Dante]

Granted it stops snowing... everywhere except for wherever you happen to be standing.

I wish I could taste a starfruit.

[justmeinoz]

Granted. You have tasted a starfruit and find it so insipid you wonder what all the fuss was about.

I wish I could have back the hour and a half I lost watching "Skyline".

[April Dawne]

Granted, you get that time back at the cost of all the time that came before it...

I wish love didn't hurt so much

[A]

Granted. Friendship hurts so much, now.

I wish I could shower in less than 30 minutes.

[Glenn]

Granted You're home now has a star trek style sonic shower that fully cleans you in seconds, it also has a tanning function, automatic hair removal system and heat lamp so you will never be chilled after washing.

How ever, you seem to have lost your keys and can't get into the house

[A]

Simone, make a wish !

[V M]

Granted... Although Simone forgot to make a wish, by telling her to make a wish you have made a wish for her to make a wish and that wish destroys the world

I wish people were not so destructive

[Glenn]

eeek! ok ok!

I wish it were Christmas morning!