Corrupt-A-Wish

[April Dawne]

@ Virginia- Wish granted, PEOPLE are not destructive anymore, but now animals are even worse than we were...

@ Simone- Wish granted, it's Christmas Morning, and you get to find out that people were too poor this year to buy you anything

I wish I had gone to bed earlier

[Dante]

Granted, you went to BED earlier, however you were completely unable to sleep.

I wish there weren't so many bootlegged anime figures! (I want to buy my friend a Russia One Cent Grande Hetalia figure, but all the ones I can find are cheap bootlegged copies, and if they're not, they're $30!  )

[justmeinoz]

Granted.  Because there are no longer any cheap fakes on the market the genuine article now costs $50.

I wish the locust plague infesting this part of Victoria would all get blown into the Tasman Sea.

[Dante]

Granted, it moves. But your boss calls you and tells you you either have to move down to the new branch or lose your job. Have fun with the locusts! 

I wish I didn't wear holes in all my shoes!

[A]

Granted. Your shoes are holed from the moment you buy them.

I wish I were more mature.

[Dante]

Granted, you are so mature you can't even laugh anymore because all jokes are too crude for you.

I wish my finals were over with already!

[justmeinoz]

Granted. Unfortunately somebody got caught with the exam papers and you all have to sit all of them again. OIn Christmas Eve.

I wish the locusts caught in the car radiator didn't stink like rotting grass.

[Glenn]

Granted not only are they Odorless but they now come in 10 amazing colors and 16 new flavors that are Irresistible to large Ravens and M>-bleeped-<ies. So as you drive around town a black cloud of birds follow you swooping down across your cars grill everywhere you go.

I wish for a pet sugar glider for XMass. They are so adorable!

[Mr. Fox]

Granted not only are they Odorless but they now come in 10 amazing colors and 16 new flavors that are Irresistible to large Ravens and M>-bleeped-<ies. So as you drive around town a black cloud of birds follow you swooping down across your cars grill everywhere you go.

I wish for a pet sugar glider for XMass. They are so adorable!

Granted.  But it has no legs or tail, just bleeding stumps.  Also, it has rabies.

I wish my therapist would write me my hormone letters.

[Constance]

I wish my therapist would write me my hormone letters.

Granted: your Bovine Growth Hormones will be arriving shortly.

I wish my lips weren't chapped.

[Dante]

Granted, your lips are as smooth as a baby's butt (anyone else not need that image?), but everywhere else is chapped. (Ooo... that sounds painful!  )

I wish I didn't have to wait until Christmas to get my new computer parts.

[rexgsd]

okay, they come in the mail tomorrow, but theyre all broken but you still have to pay for them

i wish my uncle would let me buy his Oldsmobile off him instead of just letting me borrow it =(

[justmeinoz]

Granted, he will let you buy but you can't as you haven't got any money.

I wish good quality shoes came already broken-in.

[Dante]

Granted, the shoes are "broken" in. The soles are cracked in several places, and there's holes everywhere else.

I wish I had a cool suit to wear that looked good on me.

[A]

Granted ; you now own a mascot's suit. It really does look cool !

I wish I were not too lazy to do the dishes every day.

[glendagladwitch]

Granted.  You are now perfectly jazzed about doing dishes, but still too lazy to do anything else.  You manage to eek out a living as a dishwasher, and are happy for time, but then you get replaced by a machine.

I wish that underwear washed itself.  (Yes, I know.  I now wear cats for underwear.)

[justmeinoz]

Granted. Your underwear now washes itself, unfortunately it also starches and irons itself.

I wish  I had a canoe.

[A]

Granted. http://canoe.ca/

I wish I would always be in advance.

[V M]

You are... But then you are taken hostage and tied to a mattress in a dingy abandoned building for no apparent reason other than to listen to your captors debate among themselves whether Zebras are actually striped Jackasses or not

I wish I would have started making dinner earlier

[A]

Granted ! At 5 this morning you were up and at work ! Unfortunately, your soup turned into gaspacho.

I wish I had a job.