Corrupt-A-Wish

[Jacquelyn]

Granted, but you're now filled with people who won't leave you the hell alone, who are full of anxiety and depressed.

I wish for a shield, just like Captain America had.

Granted- except it's made with Lead so it gets recalled.

I wish that I could see the future.

[Mr.Hyde]

Granted, but now everyone can do it so the world becomes a super-paranoic place where companies read their customers minds and futures, you have to lock yourself in your home and never go out so you future doesn't become corrupted by Coca-Cola or Apple 

I wish I was at least 8 or 9 inches taller, without using platform boots...


(Oh and @sigmafan, I wouldn't mind to have a suitcase filled with certain human's heads... that would be the perfect accessory... )

[justmeinoz]

Granted, your head is now 9 inches taller you sexy Conehead!

I wish I had a bottle of Red Moscato instead of a Cabernet Sauvignon.

[sigmafan]

Granted, but inside that bottle of Red Moscato is Cabernet Sauvignon.

I wish The Black Eyed Peas would quit music right now.

[Lee]

They have now branched out into acting instead.

I wish I weren't out of dolmas.

[R3i]

your place becomes full of plates of dolmas which attract raccoons and soon spoil


i wish i had an ipad

[sigmafan]

Granted, but soon it gets infected by several viruses and it becomes absolutely useless.

I wish I had $10 right now.

[LordKAT]

Granted, $10 confederate. Now you just need a time machine to spend it.

I wish to stay awake and lively until I return from work since I sort of forgot to go to bed.

[Jacquelyn]

Granted, but you will FOREVER be awake and lively. No more bed for you.

I wish someone would cook me dinner.

[Lee]

Granted, I'm making a salmon salad tonight, and you're welcome to join me.  However, you have to fly to Colorado first.  (You'll also be stuck eating fish in Colorado, which is always a little disappointing.)

I wish I didn't have midterms next week.

[sigmafan]

Granted, but you also automatically fail the course, having to retake it again.

I wish for no more Westboro Baptist Church.

[justmeinoz]

Granted, they change their name to EastBoro Baptist Church.

I  wish the air conditioner at work  would work properly.

[Lee]

Granted.  Your newly assigned office in Colorado is blasting AC all day.  Unfortunately it's -13 degrees out this morning.

Next person would like a cup of tea.

[Glenn]

Indeed I would love a cup of tea.

The next person to post has had a positive thing happen to them today!

[sigmafan]

Granted, but in an inverse, you broke your right arm while someone here on the boards finds true love.

I wish Family Guy would get cancelled and Seth McFarlane would quit all forms of entertainment.

[Lee]

Granted, but it makes Lee sad.

I wish I hadn't slept in so much today.

Next person would like a cup of tea.

I completely mixed up what topic this was.  Sorry folks.

[Jacquelyn]

Granted, from now on you can never sleep past 6am no matter how tired you are or how late you went to bed. 

I wish that I could travel the world.

[April Dawne]

Granted, you can travel the world ... by canoe

I wish that I could find a decent-paying job that I would enjoy soon.

[SarahM777]

Granted,you find a decent paying job that you would enjoy but you must move to Qaanaaq Greenland

I wish i could get the 5 year back log of unfinished projects done

[Lee]

Granted.  You label them all as done and send them off telling people that things will work in a later update.  You now have updates in your "to do" pile and many angry coworkers and/or clients.

I wish I had enough money to move as soon as I graduate.

Granted, you can travel the world ... by canoe

Actually, that sounds really fun!