Corrupt-A-Wish

[Dante]

Granted, but you only have enough to live in a shack.

I wish I didn't have to constantly fiddle with my shirt to feel moderately comfortable (trying to hide moobs, hips, etc.) 

[Lee]

Granted, but you now have to constantly fiddle to feel comfortable.  Unfortunately, you don't play the violin and are fined for assaulting the public's ears.

I wish I had my cat at my apartment to keep my feet warm at night.

[Michelle.]

Kitty GRANTS your humble request by hocking up a hairball on your feet.

I wish I had bigger boobies.

ps... Kitty said that you has best clean up that mess at the foot of the bed.

[justmeinoz]

Granted, but unfortunately you keep overbalancing, and spend all your time falling on your face.

I wish I had boobs, at all.

[R3i]

granted, you now have 2 blue footed boobies which eat you out of house & home

i wish my roommates would stop buying me sushi just because i like anime

[EliNewGuy]

granted, you now have 2 blue footed boobies which eat you out of house & home

i wish my roommates would stop buying me sushi just because i like anime

GRANTED.  But now they make you watch "The Cove" every night. 

I wish I could just bench 135 lbs. already!!

[sigmafan]

Granted, but then afterwards you can't move for 135 minutes, missing out on mostly everything.

I wish I had a working Dragons Lair Arcade Game.

[justmeinoz]

Granted.  All your friends are bored with it and refuse to play, or even visit you..

I wish it was the weekend already.

[SarahM777]

Granted But its Sunday night 11:59:59 PM

I wish it was Spring already

[EliNewGuy]

Granted But its Sunday night 11:59:59 PM

I wish it was Spring already

It is...in the Southern Hemisphere.  Happy autumnal equinox. 

I wish I could read minds. 

[rite_of_inversion]

I wish I could read minds.

Granted. 
You  now hear everyone's thoughts, all of them, awake and sleeping, within a 300-foot radius.  You go insane and retreat to a cave in the wilderness.

I wish I had a better-paying job.

[April Dawne]

Granted; you have a better paying job, but it's far enough away that the extra pay goes directly into the gas tank, leaving you right back at square one.

I wish I had held my temper today and not yelled at my mom...

[SanaMae]

Granted but you end up freaking out on someone else.

I wish I had more chocolate.

[Alex37]

I wish I had more chocolate.

Granted, but you develop diabetes after eating it all. 

I wish my boyfriend were gay. 

[April Dawne]

Granted; your boyfriend announces that he is gay.... and in love with someone else.

I wish I wasn't having such a hard time getting back on HRT

[Lee]

Granted, you testosterone prescription is on the way.

I wish I procrastinated less.

[VeryGnawty]

I wish I procrastinated less.

Granted.  You become so efficient that you complete everything almost instantly.  However, only now do you realize how bored you are because there is nothing to do.

I wish my body would feminize faster.

[Karla]

Sure enough it does, and then you become a fashion model and get hooked on heroin.

I wish all the red tape is permanently eliminated...

[Mr.Hyde]

Granted, now there is neon green tape everywhere. 

I wish my iPad had infinite battery.

[justmeinoz]

Granted. It does this by remotely sucking the charge out of all the batteries in the vicinity, phone,tv remote, car,radio, iPod....

I wish politicians were not such a bunch of wankers.