Corrupt-A-Wish

[kyle_lawrence]

I wish politicians were not such a bunch of wankers.

granted. there are no longer any politicians. The world is now a single nation in a constant state of anarachy and chaos.

I wish for the conversations I have with my cat to be less one sided.

[Janet_Girl]

Granted.  Not only do you understand your cat but the cat understands you.  But you no longer can speak anything but cat.

I wish I lived in my girlfriend's country.

[justmeinoz]

Granted, you are now a citizen of Jeblovia, she however, has just emigrated to Canada.

I wish my holidays started today instead of next weekend.

[Dante]

Granted, your holiday starts today. However, your boss calls you in to work, and tells you that if you don't come, you're fired.

I wish I could get all the books I ever wanted for free.

[Lee]

Granted, but everyone you know hates you when they find out you're the Library Bandit.

I wish my apartment were self cleaning.

[R3i]

Granted, your apartment becomes self aware and expels all your things out the window leaving it spotless.

I wish i were a cat.

[QuestionMark]

Granted, your apartment becomes self aware and expels all your things out the window leaving it spotless.

I wish i were a cat.

Granted, you are now a cat. Unfortunately for you, your a cat infested with flees and about to be eaten by a giant pitbull.
I wish for unlimited wishes

[Hyde]

Wish granted, but with every wish you make, a close family member or friend will slowly fall into illness towards death with no chance of recovery.

I wish I would sleep at regular hours so I can wake up early everyday.

[justmeinoz]

Granted, however in an Existentialist epiphany you decide that you don't care what the day is like and so go back to sleep for an extra hour every morning.

[Dante]

I sense a forgotten wish!

[V M]

Granted... You now have sensed that there are two forgotten wishes and now the Sith lords are hunting you because they think you've become a Jedi Knight

I wish people would not forget to wish their wishes 

[Dante]

Granted, no one forgets to wish their wishes... but you forget every time. 

I wish I wasn't being pressured to go to a baby shower.

[Karla]

Granted. You'll never attend a baby shower again, but you'll have to bathe them every day when they get old!

I wish I could unsee what I had seen.

[Dante]

  ...Granted, you never saw it. But now you will wonder for the rest of your life what it was (like the rest of us).

I wish I automatically got A's in all my classes.

[justmeinoz]

Granted, however there is not much demand for people with a Master's in Navel Gazing, or Basket Weaving.

I wish I didn't have to work an extra shift tomorrow, and could start my holidays a day earlier like I was supposed to.

[Dante]

Granted you don't have to work tomorrow, but you get snowed in and your heater breaks.

I wish I didn't have to mow the lawn.

[Lee]

Granted.  You now have a sheep that wanders your lawn, keeping it nice and short.  However, your lawn is now covered with sheep droppings, which is against your HOA regulations, and you receive a hefty fine.

I wish I could find my lemon grass tea.

[Dante]

Granted, your house is now filled to the brim with lemon grass tea.

I wish I could go to a 3 Doors Down concert.

[justmeinoz]

Granted, your tickets entitle you to a seat behind a large concrete pillar.

An Existentialist might or might not make a wish, for something or nothing, and they might also forget to mention it or perhaps not care whether they mentioned it. It's likely they would consider the chances of a wish being granted as problematical or of no consequence in the face of life's absurdity...
I wish I could understand Existentialism, or just speak French....

[Dante]

Granted, you understand Existentialism, and French, but you no longer understand anything else.

I wish I had a magical storage shelf that could hold and infinite number of items.