Corrupt-A-Wish

[Flan]

I wish I knew how to type english

[Padma]

Granted but the house you move into is really dirty

...so long as it's my kind of dirt

I wish you'd written a wish...

[Flan]

I wish you'd written a wish...

granted, but I just lost mine

I wis... see above

[Padma]

["don't cross the posts!"]

Granted: you are able to type "English", but every other word has a 50/50 chance of ending up in Klingon.

I wish I could get to sleep tonight (this is getting repetitive).

[xxUltraModLadyxx]

granted, but you get kidnapped in your sleep and thrown into a lake.

i wish the waitress at the restaurant i was at today didn't call me "he" just because she thinks my parents have no daughter.

[NathanW]

Granted: But she now thinks you have no parents.
I wish I could have all of the torchwood episodes.

[justmeinoz]

Granted. You now have a full set of 'Torchwood'.  On Beta video cassette.

I wish my whipper snipper (weed-whacker/strimmer) hadn't run out of line before I had got started on the weeds in the garden.

[angiejuly]

granted but you can no longer weed wack because the spindle flew off bounced off a tree and knocked you out.
I wish the waves where bigger today

[xxUltraModLadyxx]

granted, but another tsunami strikes and destroys your home.

i wish i knew what i'm doing, lol.

[Padma]

Granted: you know what you're doing, but in true quantum spirit, you have no idea where you're doing it.

I wish I had some black cotton yarn to go with my white yarn.

[justmeinoz]

Granted, you have black yarn, but it is a foot shorter than you need.

I wish I had a bottle of Champagne, and a gorgeous lady to share it with.

[~RoadToTrista~]

Granted, but she drugs your glass and runs off with your wallet.

I wish my IPod Touch could get wi-fi everywhere instead of being limited to hotspots.

[V M]

Granted... But now people only call when your on the potty

I wish I lived near the beach again

[NathanW]

Granted: But you live so near that every time the tide goes in your house floods.
I wish I didn't stay up late nearly every night.

[April Dawne]

Granted; you no longer stay up late, you stay up until it's time to go to work (or school) again.

I wish a Crow movie could be made that would actually match the first in content, emotion, and tone while still being good rather than being a pale and lifeless rip-off.

[~RoadToTrista~]

Granted. You get your very own DVD of The Crow that is exactly the same as the first one. Only difference is that in this version, someone filmed the TV while the store-bought copy was playing

I wish I had some pizza from pizza hut.

[Padma]

Granted: Pizza the Hut catches you trying to free Han Solo and chains you up in a gold bikini.

I wish I wasn't seeing double (damn you, eye muscles!)

[justmeinoz]

Granted, you now see everything out of focus.
I wish I had a jam sandwich.

[~RoadToTrista~]

Granted, but it's strawberry jam. (Which I think is disgusting, lol)

I wish i didn't have such broad shoulders.

[Lord of the Dance]

Granted — you lose both your arms and shoulders in a horrendous motorcycle accident.

I wish my boss would actually pay me!