Corrupt-A-Wish

[Anon]

Granted. Instead you are freezing cold and shiver so bad you can't competently perform any task.

I wish I didn't have to go shoe shopping tomorrow.

[justmeinoz]

Granted. You don't have to shop for shoes. You have to shop for everything else.

I wish I wasn't exhausted from transplanting trees.

[~RoadToTrista~]

Granted. You're now exhausted from transporting a fat, sweaty old man on your back.

I wish couldn't get tired, and could stay up all night. (Ty for tip Dante :3)

[justmeinoz]

Granted. You now stay up all night, and sleep all day. Your friends now call you Drac.

I wish there were heaps of jobs around here so I would have something to go to when I resign my current one tomorrow.

[Anon]

Granted. But they're all snapped up by refugees and prestigious university graduates, so you just waste a lot of time.

I wish joining Katimavik this July.

[~RoadToTrista~]

Granted, but the organization is actually a ring of slave drivers in disguise. You now have to 'volunteer' for 8 months.

I wish it was 5 years from now. >.>

[xxUltraModLadyxx]

granted, but 2012 strikes, and all of humanity dies.

i wish i wasn't so stressed out.

[Tesseract Allen]

Granted, you now are completely relaxed....maybe too relaxed.....Oh goddess stop relaxing! THE MUSCLE IS BECOMING SO RELAXED IT"S MELTING OFF THE BONE!!!

I wish I had written a wish before posting instead of after.

[Tom]

GRANTED! You posted a wish before instead of after but in order to do so you had to invent a crazy box that you didn't quite understand but you only knew you could transport yourself through time. But not like cool time. Real time. So you created doubles of yourself because you couldn't decide what to wish for. SO NOW there is a CRAZY ARMY OF FIFTY OF YOU!

I WISH I haaad a lollipop. ^^

[justmeinoz]

Granted. You had a lollipop, it was garlic flavour and you are still tasting it 4 hours later.

I wish someone had bought the car i had advertised this weekend.

[Tesseract Allen]

Granted but befoe you could deliver you end of the sale some one steals the car, drives it off of a cliff, fills it with gasoline, hacks it apart with a katana, then lights it on fire and dives it in to the sea. Oh and then aliens take the leftovers and throw them in to a room with ten starving people as a science experinmet.

I wish I got an acceptance lette from a publisher.

[sigmafan]

Granted, but unfortunately for you it's for Hustler Magazine and wants to see some more pictorals from yourself before hiring you.

Somehow I wish I hadn't just typed that out, due to fear of reprocussions.

[Lee]

Granted, but you end up typing something else so vulgar that nobody will let you write ever again.

I wish I had someone to cuddle.

[justmeinoz]

Granted. Sigmafan is there to be cuddled, now if you only had proper arms and hands.

I wish I had ordered a different dish for dinner at the Thai restaurant Thursday night and avoided an "out-of-stomach experience".

[Anon]

Granted, instead of ordering a nausea-inducing meal, you order one that makes you instantaneously break out in awkwardly itchy hives! 


I wish my glasses weren't so tight on one side, it's giving me a headache.

[justmeinoz]

Granted.  They are now a perfect fit, but are faulty and make you wall-eyed.

I wish it hadn't been so cold when i rode down to Melbourne today.

[RabbitsOfTheWorldUnite]

Granted.  They are now a perfect fit, but are faulty and make you wall-eyed.

I wish it hadn't been so cold when i rode down to Melbourne today.

Granted. You're placed back in time and on your way to Melbourne the temperature raises to 23C but your car breaks down resulting in a four car pileup behind you. Then while at the chiropractors office later he places you in traction and says that for the next two weeks you need to take ice baths to ease the pain of the whiplash til you recover.

I wish my sheets, clothes, house, car, and body never got dirty.

[V M]

Granted... None of your stuff gets dirty, it just gets dusty because you're in the traction bed next over because you were in one of the four cars that piled up

I wish I didn't have to get surgery on my shoulder

[RabbitsOfTheWorldUnite]

Granted.
Your situation is so dire and unique that not a single surgeon will dare to touch it for fear of a malpractice suit that's sure to follow. But then you discover a witchdoctor who lives at the delta of the mississippi who cures you without surgery. However, the cost for each of his cures is to be ridden with one of his plentiful curses. You're a cute girl though, so he selects a more pleasant curse: now you have 6 long cat-like whiskers growing from your cheeks. And your shoulder is now more flexible, stronger, and more beautiful than ever!

I wish we could change not just our gender, but our species as well.

[~RoadToTrista~]

:O That one's better let's go with it.

Granted but Species Reassignment Surgery isn't covered by insurrance.

I wish my grandma, in her youth, would've made a video like this for me.