Corrupt-A-Wish

[Dante]

Granted, but you see it as a child, and you are so traumatized by it, you develop a phobia of grandmothers.

I wish that our moving sale tomorrow will go well.

[NathanW]

Wish granted, but it goes so well that you have sold all your furniture that you were going to move in your new house with.
I wish I could have food magically appear when I want it to. 

[Gingertrap]

Granted, but all of your teeth have been removed due to a horrible gum disease which makes chewing on anything extremely painful. You now must receive your nutrients intravenously.

I wish I had elf ears!

[Anon]

Granted, you permanently transplant your human ears for elf ears. Unfortunately they're the plastic kind and now you can't hear or feel vibrations from music and such! ):


I wish I had more work experience so that I could get a job.

[NathanW]

Granted, but you get so much experience that they tell you can't get the job because your too experienced.
I wish I could afford a binder.>w<

[Dante]

Granted, a wad of money magically floats down from the sky, but as soon as it touches your hands, everything in your house breaks. After paying for all the damage, you are exactly where you were before.

I wish my English project was already done!

[~RoadToTrista~]

Granted. *sets your finished project on fire*

I wish Netflix streaming wasn't such a ripoff.

[sigmafan]

Granted, but they then raise the prices of all the rental prices, it becomes impossible to go through netflix.

I wish that Game Show Network would air more older game shows such as Sale of the Century and Scrabble.

[Dante]

Granted, all the new game shows are phased out of existence.

I wish Netflix streaming wasn't such a ripoff.

I wish Netflix streamed English subbed anime instead of English dubbed. 

[Gingertrap]

I wish Netflix streamed English subbed anime instead of English dubbed. 

Granted, but the only available anime is Naruto, Pokemon, and Dragon Ball Z.

I wish I didn't have to write two essays for my English comp II class.

[Dante]

Granted, but the only available anime is Naruto, Pokemon, and Dragon Ball Z.

FUUUUUUUUUU! 
 

Anyway, my annoyed ranting aside. Granted, you only have to write one, but it has to be 10 times as long as the original two papers.

I wish that I will pass all my classes for the semester. 

[justmeinoz]

Granted.  But your course is rendered obsolete before you finish, so you have to re-enrol in something else.

I wish I could find a leather skirt in any of the shops around here.

[sigmafan]

Granted, but it's too short and it shows off ample amounts of your butt and other things.

I wish to be a better human being than I am right now.

[~RoadToTrista~]

Granted, you grow another functional arm. Now everybody's making fun of you.

I wish I had cheerios.

[V M]

Granted... You now have a new mental illness that has been named Trista's Cheerios which causes you to constantly smile and wave and say "Cheerio" to everyone you talk to

I wish healing from the surgery on my shoulder wasn't quite so painful 

[Alex37]

Granted... you contract leprosy, can't feel a thing, and die in a leper colony

I wish it were easy to quit smoking cigarettes.

[justmeinoz]

Granted, it's really easy to quit. Unfortunately it's even easier to start again.
I wish I was motivated to do housework today.

[~RoadToTrista~]

Granted, now you have extreme OCD.

I wish I didn't have to come up with a wish everytime I granted someone else's wish.

[Alex37]

Granted, now you want everything in the world and are never happy

I wish college was free.

[Alasdair]

Granted, now you want everything in the world and are never happy

I wish college was free.

Granted! College is free but you have to go naked and all the seats are vinyl!

I wish my girlfriend wasn't so messy!