Corrupt-A-Wish

[Elsa]

Granted But now a dog wont stop looking at you with its cute little eyes for attention while your internetting.

I wish I can study more/learn better/faster.

[suzifrommd]

I wish I can study more/learn better/faster.

Wish granted. You are now a computer. Unfortunately you have to pause every minute or two to upgrade some of your software.

I wish I was able to fix anything.

[Your Humble Savant]

Granted. You can fix anything, but it only stays fixed for twenty seconds.

I wish my school stuff would pack itself neatly and ship itself off to campus.

[suzifrommd]

I wish to be able to have a boyfriend.

Diana, get the door. Your blind date's here. Says his name is Rush Limbaugh.

I wish I were immune to all disease.

[King Malachite]

Granted but you have to spend your entire life savings to gain immunity so you are now broke.

I wish I had real diamonds.

[suzifrommd]

I wish I knew Russian, French, and Chinese.

Granted. You now can say "you drool in your sleep" in three languages.

I wish I never dropped anything.

[Dante]

Granted. The person who gives you the cinnamon pretzel puts salt on it also.

I wish I could stop listening to this song over and over!

[suzifrommd]

I wish I could stop listening to this song over and over!

You are now too hearing impaired to hear the music. Now you have to watch someone sign it over and over.

I wish I could live in a place that's a ten minute walk to a secluded river bank where I could sit and reflect and a ten minute walk in the other direction to a main street where I could buy whatever I needed without getting into a car.

[Your Humble Savant]

Granted. It's a ten-minute walk through boiling oatmeal, the river is always full of rotten mushrooms, the other way is a normal walk but main street only exists on Tuesday for ten minutes.

I wish I had no financial woes.

[suzifrommd]

i wish for a custom cross bicycle.

It's coming. Oh, you wanted pedals? Well that'll be a few hundred extra.

I wish my relatives weren't quite so crazy.

[Your Humble Savant]

Granted. You now own a corporation, but are too busy to even listen to music!

Ohh, very clever. Cut out my heart, why don't ya 

I wish for a Sonic the Hedgehog plush toy.

Granted. It comes alive at night and eats your face.

I wish global warming would stop 

[suzifrommd]

I wish to just wake up tomorrow as a girl.

Jeez, Diana, we all wish that. How are we supposed to corrupt that? Oh, well, you asked for it.

Granted but you have this strange feeling. You're body isn't quite right. Could it be you're FtM genderqueer? Thinking about top surgery?...

I wish I were always witty and interesting.

[Your Humble Savant]

Granted. They're made of cheap plastic and about three inches long.

I wish eating healthy was easier.

[suzifrommd]

I wish I could feel my left hand again.

Granted. *Chop*. It's right there in your freezer. You may open the door and feel it whenever you want.

I wish for no more hurricanes this year.

[Catherine Sarah]

Granted, unfortunately there was no room for them. The weather cycles were too full of Tsunami's, typhoons, heat waves, cold snaps, earth quakes, comet showers, catastrophic multi storm cells, volcanoes and the odd day of good weather.

I Wish I was a brilliant opera singer

[Joe.]

Granted. But you get a really bad throat and can never sing again.

I wish I could have a dog.

[Catherine Sarah]

Granted. Regrettably your Vet didn't check it for rabies.It bit you and you died instantaneously . 

I Wish I was a famous ballet dancer

[suzifrommd]

Granted. But you get a really bad throat and can never sing again.

I wish I could have a dog.

Granted. Enjoy the 900th trip to the pet store in search of a flea powder that actually works.

I wish the people I live with wouldn't leave their things lying around everywhere.

[King Malachite]

Wish granted-Someone robs them of everything they have including your things.

I wish I was a dead worm.

[Catherine Sarah]

Granted. Fortunately for you an anthropology student saw your diminished state and took you on, resuscitated you and you went on to become a most beautiful butterfly.

I wish I was a honey bee