Cindy Thinks Weird Funny Stuff

[rejennyrated]

Ok.

Back when Alison and I first got together we were both already longterm postop but she had had problems with her healing and was still going for occasional checkups at Charing Cross Hospital.

One day she was walking down the Fulham road just outside the hospital when her legs were spied by a truck driver who proceeded to drive at about 5mph with most of his body hanging out of the cab so he could get a better view.  By chance who was she to see emerging from the hospital but Mr Dalrymple, her surgeon, and naturally she stops to talk to him.

At this the truck driver slams on his brakes, gives her the loudest wolf whistle ever heard and sits stationary in the middle of the Fulham road admiring the view - now her legs truly have stopped London traffic!

At this point Mr D. evidently decided to play along and gave her a little peck on the cheek at which the truck driver yelled "Lucky bugger - save some for me will ya?" blew his horn and slowly drove off!.

Mr D. turned to Alison and said "You just can't imagine how much job satisfaction that gives me!"

Sweet man! 

[erocse]

Cindy, I love stories like that. Hilarious and fortuitous !!!!

  I have one like that as well. Not as funny but....

   My mother-in-law was over to visit . We love her,but she has a difficult time showing love back. Let just say she is very prickly at best. Anyway she was over . We put her up in the guestroom. There we have a Murphy bed. You know the kind that stand upright and you pull them down when in use. One afternoon she was taking a nap, and I guess the bolts holding the iron head board had worked themselves loose. We were lucky to have heard the calls for help. We ran to her aid and found her trapped like a mouse in a mousetrap. She would have never been able to get out on her own.

  I have since fixed the Murphy bed. And although we have thought about getting a new bed. I have grown very fond of that bed. I think it is because that bed and I seem to be like-minded. My mother-in-law still comes to visit now and then. Although she doesn't trust my handy work, I just love to make her sleep on the Murphy bed. You should see her she will approach the bed slowly, reach over and kinda give it a push. Then slowly sit on the edge of then bed. All the time looking back at me, I can't help but to smile which then turns into a laugh. She doesn't trust me, I think I like it that way.

  Hugs an Love, Erocse

 

[erocse]

I love this post. I think it should stay around forever. So I am going to add to it one more time. Last night we went to Wally World. I was with Mrs. Erocse and my daughter. I needed a few ingredients to make fudge. As we grabbed a cart and headed to the baking isle, Mrs Erocse asked me what I needed. I told her I need to get some nuts. Then she said, "I thought you didn't want those anymore." My wife and daughter started laughing. I looked back with a blank stare. I could not figure out what they were laughing at. I said, " I don't get it." She repeated herself.  Oh I get it. He he he.

~Hugs~
Erocse

[Cameron James]

Ya'll are great! Love this thread!

When I think of something funny, I'll be sure to share it!

[Cindy]

I was at a forensic science seminar. One of those closed to the public; professionals who need to know only talks. So everyone was quite somber. Unfortunately I was accompanied by a colleague who knows my buttons.

An  eminent expert started the talk, he was thin and tall, stooped with thickish glasses, balding with hair strips combed across his skull. A person who took themselves very seriously. And who should. He also looked a complete 'mad scientist'.

I was in one of the corridor seats close to the front.

The expert started laying down his credentials. " I have done 27 rapes, 15 murders, including unidentified incendiary cases. He was about to continue, my 'friend' leaned over and whispered in my ear. "Looks good on it though, doesn't he?" I had tears streaming down my face, my fist was jammed in my mouth, I couldn't stop deep belly laughs. I was the focus of attention.  With enormous self-will I stopped myself. 

The expert was studiously ignoring me and presenting details of the difficulties of semen tracing, noticing I had myself under control my 'friend' again whispered, "Like to know what condoms he uses".

I laughed aloud and decided to make a fast walk to the exit, of course being at the front meant everyone could see me leave.

I was never invited to any more of the forensic science expert talks.

Cindy

BTW I'm not belittling the horrible crimes.

[Jamie-o]

This may be an urban legend, but my grandmother's niece claimed it happened to her:

She was working the late shift at a convenience store when she saw this shifty looking fellow come in and start loitering in the canned goods aisle.  He waited for the last customer to leave the store before before approaching the register.

"Just this," he muttered, placing a can of peas on the counter while glancing about rapidly, apparently making sure nobody was watching.

Oh no.  I'm about to get robbed, the girl thought, as the guy reached for the inside pocket of his jacket.  Suddenly he whipped his jacket open wide, and flopped his ding-a-ling on the counter in front of the startled cashier.

Quick as a wink she snatched up the can of peas and slammed it down on his member, at which point he screamed and passed out.

Later, as the cops were taking the flasher away, she overheard one of them say to his partner, "Bet he wishes he bought a loaf of bread."

[Cindy]

Disgusting

Know he know what it is to be peed on

Cindy

[Cruelladeville]

At risk of getting ticked-orf!

Me thinks we need some (amended) uber PC visual (comic) relief.... for those that are still grappling with the challenges fo being pre-op!

[rite_of_inversion]

Okay...I'll chip in with what will probably be my life's weirdest work story:

I used to work at hounted houses-the kind where you pay to walk thorugh a maze and get frightened by actors? well, I was one of the actors-for many years, at several different places.

One place was in its' final year, and so the owner didn't want to replace the old chainsaw.  He had the chainsaw man set it outside the back door running, because it was nearly impossible to crank, and if it was put inside the building, we'd all get fumed very badly.

Well...this was a bad neighborhood...so...one night a drug addict grabbed our chainsaw and took off running. The chainsaw guy called everyone else out and almost the entire crew... in facepaint  and costume...zombies, werewolves, slashers, monsters, a jason, a psycho or two, went running down the street after the thief. About thirty people or so.

Didn't catch him either...but it's a shame someone wasn't recording video of the whole thing.

[Lee]

That would have even been better if he had been high at the time.  'Holy crap I'm being chased by zombies!'

[K8]

One of my friends is politically conservative and quite macho - a big guy, really into hunting and fishing and riding Harleys and other manly pursuits.  I was reluctant to tell him that I was transtioning - becoming a woman - but we ran into each other not long after I went full time. 

We talked a bit about what I was doing.  He ticked me off by referring to what I was doing as a lifestyle, but he accepted it.  And then he says, "It takes a lot of balls to do what you're doing!"  I knew what he meant, but I replied, "Well, actually that's the problem."

- Kate

[erocse]

One of my friends is politically conservative and quite macho - a big guy, really into hunting and fishing and riding Harleys and other manly pursuits.  I was reluctant to tell him that I was transtioning - becoming a woman - but we ran into each other not long after I went full time. 

We talked a bit about what I was doing.  He ticked me off by referring to what I was doing as a lifestyle, but he accepted it.  And then he says, "It takes a lot of balls to do what you're doing!"  I knew what he meant, but I replied, "Well, actually that's the problem."

- Kate

That's funny Kate. It seems you must have been feeling a little cocky.

   Hugs Erocse

[rite_of_inversion]

That would have even been better if he had been high at the time.  'Holy crap I'm being chased by zombies!'

He did get away-he was on foot with a twenty-pound, still-running chainsaw...maybe he WAS on crack. He was motivated, that we know.

"It takes a lot of balls to do what you're doing!"  I knew what he meant, but I replied, "Well, actually that's the problem."

- Kate

Well-said

@ cruella...that bottom one...I think it needs more buttons,and indicators that have no scoring on them...so you've got buttons and indicators...but what they really do and what they indicate you have to figure out very carefully, not knowing which one is the "meltdown" or "explode angrily" button...

thinks about it and *ducks*

[Mrs Erocse]

@ cruella...that bottom one...I think it needs more buttons,and indicators that have no scoring on them...so you've got buttons and indicators...but what they really do and what they indicate you have to figure out very carefully, not knowing which one is the "meltdown" or "explode angrily" button...

thinks about it and *ducks*

Rite of Inversion Erocse and I are sitting here together and that is funny and well said. 

[JessicaH]

Cindy, I love stories like that. Hilarious and fortuitous !!!!

  I have one like that as well. Not as funny but....

   My mother-in-law was over to visit . We love her,but she has a difficult time showing love back. Let just say she is very prickly at best. Anyway she was over . We put her up in the guestroom. There we have a Murphy bed. You know the kind that stand upright and you pull them down when in use. One afternoon she was taking a nap, and I guess the bolts holding the iron head board had worked themselves loose. We were lucky to have heard the calls for help. We ran to her aid and found her trapped like a mouse in a mousetrap. She would have never been able to get out on her own.

  I have since fixed the Murphy bed. And although we have thought about getting a new bed. I have grown very fond of that bed. I think it is because that bed and I seem to be like-minded. My mother-in-law still comes to visit now and then. Although she doesn't trust my handy work, I just love to make her sleep on the Murphy bed. You should see her she will approach the bed slowly, reach over and kinda give it a push. Then slowly sit on the edge of then bed. All the time looking back at me, I can't help but to smile which then turns into a laugh. She doesn't trust me, I think I like it that way.

  Hugs an Love, Erocse
That is so funny! I love it!  I hope no one sent this to her though!!!!

[Mrs Erocse]

Stacey Beaumont I had the same concern. 

[V M]

There is an elderly lady who locks up at my apt.s at night and I walk about and help her...

So we get all done with it and are talking a bit like we do and the UPS truck shows up... We both say that's odd for this time of night then let him in the entrance door we'd just locked

He walks in and asks if he'd found the proper address and another question... I give him directions to the apt. he was looking for

So then the lady asked "What did he say? What was he laughing about?" So I told her that he asked if we were management and that I'd told him "No, we're a couple of hoodlums"

I'd never seen her laugh so hard

[Mrs Erocse]

That is funny. Virginia Marie. .

[V M]

So I decide to wax my underarms the other night right? This is usually a fairly simple and easy task...

This could have made the funniest home videos show 

I'm topless of course as I take the wax out of the microwave... But when I go to stir the wax it explodes like a small volcano shooting hot bright green wax into the air and all over my hands, the counter top and the floor 

Undaunted, I go ahead and wax my pits and then undertake the chore of cleaning the now dried wax off of everything 

[Cindy]

So I decide to wax my underarms the other night right? This is usually a fairly simple and easy task...

This could have made the funniest home videos show 

I'm topless of course as I take the wax out of the microwave... But when I go to stir the wax it explodes like a small volcano shooting hot bright green wax into the air and all over my hands, the counter top and the floor 

Undaunted, I go ahead and wax my pits and then undertake the chore of cleaning the now dried wax off of everything 

So the floor and counter are hairless as well