How Do You Decide What To Get First?

[xAndrewx]

So this is an odd topic but I recently had to decide between new binders and an stp or having some cash to save to begin therapy. Although I managed to finally find a therapist  I can pretty much afford which I'm thrilled about it means I'll be waiting on new binders and an STP until sometime around Christmas unless I can find a job.

But,  it got me to thinking. We all need so many things to pass on an average day so which is more important to ya'll? For girls I'm sorry I really don't know what exactly you gals need but for guys I guess I mean things such as STP's, binders, men's clothes, and therapy. How did you decide what to get and what to wait on each time you had cash? Feel free to answer as much or little as you want. I'm not meaning for this to upset anyone or anything, it's just really curiosity so you don't have to answer.

[Crypt77]

For me, getting my binders was my first step. I just had to, I was (and still am) so sick of my chest. So sick of having to see them and know that they're there. So I got my binder first. Also it helped me become more comfortable with who I am and eased my mind. Therapy for me, was just something I was going through in case I needed to get a T-Letter. I didn't see it as a big concern, especially after learning that there are plenty of doctors out there who will prescribe T to you as long that they have your informed concsnses.

But yeah...binder was first for me because it eased my mind more.

[xAndrewx]

Thanks for answering Chris Yeah, I've got one from the big brothers program about a year ago. Chest dysphoria is evil stuff.

[aydan_boy]

Clothing was first for me. I saw no point in wearing a binder, trying to pass without the appropriate clothing. Well, that and I had no idea where to get one. To this day I'm still using a make-shiftace bandage one. There too expensive  .

[A]

I'm no FTM, but I'll still try to help. I didn't get what STP is though.

I think you should aim for clothes and the medical aspects of your transition first.

If binders are unaffordable for you, you might want to look for another way to bind your breasts. I've (of course) no experience about this and my only reference is the She's the Man movie, but I think it can be done with a long and slim bandage or scarf.

(This post was probably useless, sorry)

[Colleen Ireland]

Okay, I'll wade into these so-far-male waters...

First thing I did was to acquire a friend in the community (a local transwoman).  Then I found and started attending a local support group - went to the first meeting in total guy mode. 

First thing I got for presentation was a pair of women's jeans and a top from Old Navy.  Actually, not quite true - my first purchase was panties.  True story:  When I was waiting for a fitting room to try on the jeans, the song "You Make Me Feel Like A Natural Woman" by Aretha Franklin was playing on the loudspeakers.  I kid you not.  The jeans, top and a tube of lipstick were my first complete outfit - I didn't even have a wig. 

NOW, of course, I have clothes, 5 wigs, and makeup.  And nicer panties.  And shoes, and a purse.  I will not bother with breastforms or such, I'm not remotely trying to pass at this point, and I'm hoping to get on hormones sometime in the next six months, and let them work their magic, such as it will be...

[Shang]

I needed a binder, which I luckily got for free from Squirrel (who is such a life saver).  The next time I have money, I'm going to invest in an STP because that's the next thing I feel I need.   Then I'm going to invest in a psychologist.  Then T.  Then top surgery. 

It took a little bit to iron out that out, but I reached the conclusions based off of my own personal emotional response and along with the things that would cost the most.

[some ftm guy]

I'm glad I've been wearing men's clothing for a couple years because it'd be impossible to pass at all with women's clothes on. nothing could get me into those now anyway those were horrible on me lol. those would be first if i didn't already have them.

next which is really close for me to get: a binder because the part of me that makes me almost physically sick is my chest. that by far bugs me the most.

after that which i also wish i had already, (trying to contact a gender therapist now anyway) to get T then of course the top surgery in a few years but i went kind of more than the topic lol oops.

[xAndrewx]

Aydan boy: Thanks for the response. I'm sorry you can't get one man. Have you looked at the big brother program? That's wear I had to get mine.

A: Your post wasn't useless. I was glad to see you respond I actually already have a binder and clothes because I've been wearing guys clothes since I was about 6 or 7. I was just curious about what order everyone else decided what to get. Oh an STP is a stand-to-pee device so that guys can use the men's room standing up.

Colleen- Thanks for answering I didn't even think to mention the step of finding a group and friends. That's a pretty cool story. I love the irony of songs at timing like that. I've heard a lot of gals say they didn't want to bother with those either. That's quite a collection already!

Gabriel- That's a good way to decide. I am glad to see so many responses and I notice everyone has a different order of what they wanted which is what I was wondering.

Noah- thanks for the response Good luck finding a therapist. That's pretty much the order I'm going in.

[A]

Aaaah, oh yeah. I didn't even think about it, since I've, like, never stood to pee or seen the utility of it. Anyway, glad to hear (uh, read) you're well into transition - it must feel good.

(but I kinda should've suspected it seeing your picture, haha)

[LordKAT]

It is all a matter of what is most important to you.

I have 2 binders and it is all I have ever owned. Ingenuity had to do before that. I have one packer (adaptable), again only one I have ever had. The first binder was from someone on this site and I am forever grateful, the second I bought  a year later. The packer I bought 2 years ago and just keep it clean. I wear it 24/7 and have had no bad issues. Like you I have always had the clothes. Therapy was saved money and a nice paycheck tho it meant a month of going to the food pantry and drinking coffee or water.
Again it depends what is most important to you, do you want to just look the part or do you want to progress to hormones.

My 2 cents is that it all depends on your priorities and not any one else's. Our pattern or method should matter ought on your decision.

[Colleen Ireland]

Oh an STP is a stand-to-pee device so that guys can use the men's room standing up.

How funny... and here I am using the men's room (because I'm mostly in guy mode), and sitting... (I didn't know what it was, either, but I didn't want to ask).  Mark Twain is credited with having said "It is better to keep your mouth shut and appear stupid, than to open it and remove all doubt..."

[A]

I've no complexes with appearing stupid with questions ; I do it every day. Just makes me look very curious and funny, I guess. But it sure did get me much knowledge !

[xAndrewx]

Hey I ask stupid questions all the time. Figure I'd rather have the answer no matter how stupid I might seem. I didn't know much about the mtf transition process until I met my friend who is mtf though. You don't have to think about those things day to day so it's understandable because you gals have your own things to deal with day to day so I didn't think that was a stupid question.

Lordkat: I've pretty much already decided my plan. Already got clothes, binder, packer. Next comes therapy, then T, and finally top surgery. Somewhere between there hopefully getting more binders and an stp. I don't think I'll ever do lower surgery though. I just think it's interesting to see what is of more importance or which order other people go through. Such as whether a packer or a binder comes first and such. I don't really think there is a right order.

[Randi]

For me-and my very limited budget for such things-it's all about the money. What do I need to do next that won't take much money to accomplish. Surgeries and such are major expenses so they will have to wait. I can get nice clothing and polish my nails for little money spent. I can afford therapy and doctor visits-those I have to have. I can wear my hair longer in a feminine style and am going to get my ears pierced soon. I changed my hair style from side part left to right to right to left like a lot of girls do and I have been getting lots of looks from guys  Little things like this really do make a difference. I saw an old post somewhere here at Susan's about prioritizing and haven't forgotten it. My next thing to do is ears and makeup-something I can do without breaking my bank account. Then it will be hair removal-I already pluck unwanted hair and am getting pretty good at it.
Randi
Michael-the only stupid questions are the ones we don't ask.

[Wolf Man]

Well when I first was doing this all in public, I got a binder. I used those strtchy bandages from the doctors every once in a blue moon, but this was about when I was trying to see if this sort of thing really made me happier day to day. And now here I am, distressed if I'm ever outside my place without it.

Packers and STPs were a bit of a novelty when I first started out about a year ago, but now I go without both. However, it seems to me that a harness for my packer is an investment I want to make. I feel quite uncomfortable nowadays without something in my pants. It sort of popped up all of a sudden.

[some ftm guy]

Michael Alexander - i have that same shirt, not very important but it amuses me when i see other guys with the same specific pair of clothing as me

Wolf Man - you actually have wolves. cool

[Wolf Man]

Wolf Man - you actually have wolves. cool

Oh, I only wish that Segoni was my wolf.  He belongs to Wolf Mountain Sanctuary here in CA. I went as a surprise birthday present :3 It's a fantastic place with wonderful wolves and great staff.   

Sorry for thread jacking lol 

[Nero]

Oh, I only wish that Segoni was my wolf.  He belongs to Wolf Mountain Sanctuary here in CA. I went as a surprise birthday present :3 It's a fantastic place with wonderful wolves and great staff.   

Sorry for thread jacking lol 

oh god he's beautiful!

[Alexmakenoise]

I started packing and trying to bind with home-made stuff about 12 years ago.  It just came naturally to me, and felt right.  Packing with stuff found around the house is easy, but I think I'll need to buy a real binder in order to bind successfully (as in lasting throughout the day).  I'm actually at a point where I'm waiting to be able to afford both therapy and a binder.  Unless someone gives me a free binder, I'll probably end up doing a few therapy sessions, then getting a binder, then do more therapy.  A binder costs about as much as a therapy session, so one week I could just get a binder instead of a therapy session. 

And I'm not worried about getting an stp.  The ones I've seen for sale are cheap, and they seem easy to make too.  But it's just not a priority because most of the bathrooms around here are single-occupancy.  I haven't used a multiple occupancy bathroom since I lived in another state.