MTF Transitioning in your thirties (30's)?

[Jenna Marie]

I'm another who started transition in her 30s (and noticed there seemed to be fewer people in that age cohort than I expected!). I started HRT at 32, and have had fantastic results.

I was and am happily married, too.

[Tori_Chi]

I'm 32 and I just started.  I'm hoping that I didn't wait too long--but I also enjoyed my 20's and had a lot of great experiences, so I try not to have regrets.  With any luck, I won't have missed my window...

[Misato]

I get very high contrast feedback (recap: started at 34, 1 year and two months HRT). Monday, I the lady who pierced my ears said, "There aren't many things that are rites of passage for us in our culture. Getting our ears pierced and giving birth are about it." Or something to that effect. I don't really remember. I kind of blanked out when I realized she thought I could give birth! Then today I'm told by someone else, "Paige, I know you are a woman but when I see your face I see a man."

But, I'm happy. That's all that counts!

[Misato]

And then of course there is always some random bloke with "Dude, got some smoke?". But, sure sometimes being asked for a smoke is better than being asked for phone number.

I have heard woman call each other "Dude". "Guys" is common too. So, could be you're just encountering unfortunate use of language.

[Misato]

Nope . That was a guy and he was using expression in one of local languages which translates to English as "dude" but is used in respect of guys only

Bummer.

What bugs me about my "feedback" is it has me looking at FFS. How nutters is this for me? I'd put my body through all that in the effort to get this woman to gender me appropriately? I think of all my friends who know me and my face, and how awkward it would be for us to have me suddenly look like someone else. Maybe if I'd done it when I went full time, maybe that would have worked. Now? I'm scared if the social damage FFS would do. Might do a top level post about this after I wake up...

[Misato]

The woman who shared her feedback with me met me two months into my going full-time.

As for my happiness, I just examine my life and my options a lot. And like any woman I do have features about my body that I'm less than content with e.g. My brow ridge. So, I would like to do something to feminize those more masculine features, but I'm worried doing so would make me pay a social price that is way too high and would make me very unhappy. I'm also upset with myself that because of one person these thoughts got put my head and that same one person, as you alluded to, will probably never stop saying such things no matter what I do. So my happiness ain't perfect, but it is healthy.

[Harlow]

I'm glad this thread resurfaced!

I started at 22 for maybe 4 months then unfortunately got cold feet. I just started re-transitioning at 35 and it's been 7 months now and I'm developing nicely. Of course I can't help and wonder what I would look like now with 13 years of HRT. People are always astonished and think that I'm in my mid 20's so hopefully that will work with me.

[Misato]

The woman who shared her feedback with me met me two months into my going full-time.

As for my happiness, I just examine my life and my options a lot. And like any woman I do have features about my body that I'm less than content with e.g. My brow ridge. So, I would like to do something to feminize those more masculine features, but I'm worried doing so would make me pay a social price that is way too high and would make me very unhappy. I'm also upset with myself that because of one person these thoughts got put my head and that same one person, as you alluded to, will probably never stop saying such things no matter what I do. So my happiness ain't perfect, but it is healthy.

That's more terse and defensive than I'd like.

*sigh* I dunno. The press on if I'm happy or not just got to me. I think I am happy, I know I'm happier relative to where I was as a guy. I just can't help but feel it's silly for me to dive into FFS info based on one persons feedback. Especially when so many loving people have come into my life. Heck the person that upset me I like her well enough too. I must admit I'm also terrified I'll start chasing some ideal instead of being happy and comfortable with what I've been blessed with.

[Ev]

I just turned 32 a few months back and decided to start the transition.  I was going to do it back in my mid twenties, and thought about it in my teens...but between the military, an injury that all about crippled me for 4-5 years and brought me up to 250+ lbs...and a wife who for two years afterwards battled cancer and all my money went to that...I am now FINALLY am in the position (financially) to go through with it.  I am down to 170 now but still think I could lose weight in some areas of my body and gain in others.

I am yet to start hormones...that should happen in a few months when my insurance and medical provider gets it in gear...and at the rate I am saving up I will be able to afford the surgery when I am 34.

For me, right now, it is about the anger.  Ohhhhhhh the anger.  All the opportunities I missed.  The friends and family, all their false promises of always being there for me "no matter what" but then vanishing when I come out about it.  I am young enough to form new relationships but old enough to really miss these people, at least for a while.  However, as time goes this anger is turning to sadness, depression...maybe it's because I am letting go of a lot of my more "masculine" ways of thinking, or I am at that "dark time" in the transition where people abandon you?  I'll make peace with it, sure, but this I guess grieving is part of the process...and, knowing myself, when I look in the mirror at the "new me" I will be able to say it was worth it...and, better late than never.

I have already picked up a few new good acquintences who know I am transitioning and are okay with it...maybe these will be my friends to "replace" (if that is the right word) all the...traitors?  Is that the word?

To help myself along, I went on a more "estrogen-boosting" diet...vegetarian, mostly...and I am already going through a softening up, and lost 11 LBS in about 4 1/2 weeks.  Hot flashes, emotional energy, softer skin and complexion...if this is a taste/the iceburg of what hormone therapy can do for you, let me tell you, I am looking forward to it.  I have found the results to be addicting, actually, and the hormone treatment can't come soon enough.

As far as my looks are concerned: I am a little different than most MTFs.  I view myself more as androgynous so I don't mind being a "gender bender" even after the op, and the thought of keeping a lot of my "masculine" traits after the change doesn't bother me too much...okay, doesn't bother me at all.  My only real problem area is my penis, to be honest.  That thing needed to go away yesterday.

[Lara the Lover and the Fighter]

I just turned 32 a few months back and decided to start the transition.  I was going to do it back in my mid twenties, and thought about it in my teens...but between the military, an injury that all about crippled me for 4-5 years and brought me up to 250+ lbs...and a wife who for two years afterwards battled cancer and all my money went to that...I am now FINALLY am in the position (financially) to go through with it.  I am down to 170 now but still think I could lose weight in some areas of my body and gain in others.

I am yet to start hormones...that should happen in a few months when my insurance and medical provider gets it in gear...and at the rate I am saving up I will be able to afford the surgery when I am 34.

For me, right now, it is about the anger.  Ohhhhhhh the anger.  All the opportunities I missed.  The friends and family, all their false promises of always being there for me "no matter what" but then vanishing when I come out about it.  I am young enough to form new relationships but old enough to really miss these people, at least for a while.  However, as time goes this anger is turning to sadness, depression...maybe it's because I am letting go of a lot of my more "masculine" ways of thinking, or I am at that "dark time" in the transition where people abandon you?  I'll make peace with it, sure, but this I guess grieving is part of the process...and, knowing myself, when I look in the mirror at the "new me" I will be able to say it was worth it...and, better late than never.

I have already picked up a few new good acquintences who know I am transitioning and are okay with it...maybe these will be my friends to "replace" (if that is the right word) all the...traitors?  Is that the word?

To help myself along, I went on a more "estrogen-boosting" diet...vegetarian, mostly...and I am already going through a softening up, and lost 11 LBS in about 4 1/2 weeks.  Hot flashes, emotional energy, softer skin and complexion...if this is a taste/the iceburg of what hormone therapy can do for you, let me tell you, I am looking forward to it.  I have found the results to be addicting, actually, and the hormone treatment can't come soon enough.

As far as my looks are concerned: I am a little different than most MTFs.  I view myself more as androgynous so I don't mind being a "gender bender" even after the op, and the thought of keeping a lot of my "masculine" traits after the change doesn't bother me too much...okay, doesn't bother me at all.  My only real problem area is my penis, to be honest.  That thing needed to go away yesterday.

Hey Ev!  Nice to see you again!  Just so you know, I'm ordering "Prismatic Greys and Introverted Projections" this week in paperback.  Im pretty excited about that.  I can tell you from my limited experience that you are going to LOOOOOVE it on hormones.  I'm all for the androgynous idea and its nice to know that I'm not the only one who is cool with being andro even after the transition.  Ev I think you are awesome and can't wait to see how things progress for you.  Also, nice to see another 30ish mtf joining the club.

[Lara the Lover and the Fighter]

Cool to know that there are more of us andro folks here who dont mind keeping some of our masculine traits and maybe putting them into some good use should the opportunity arise .

Heck yeah.  Nothing wrong with boy stuff.  For me personally, its just easier to not worry so much about passing and completely trying to move to the other side of the gender spectrum physically when internally I'm still sort of both genders.  I still like bow and arrows, t-shirts, skateboards, ect.  She we are mostly feminine (at least I am) but why limit ourselves.  I guess being in our 30s (or close to it since Im still 29) we are old and wise enough to realize all this.

[Lara the Lover and the Fighter]

Same here . One day I just realised that if "he" has been stubborn enough to survive despite hormones for so long (and surviving has always been something he was good about) then just as well he could just stay and enjoy the ride! My core identity was always female and hence the GID and other unpleasant stuff but even if I was born a girl, I am quite sure I would have been a tomboy.
And archery is quite feminine sport, btw! Do You shoot Olympic, compound or historical?

Yeah you think so?  I guess it is....

Actually I made a bow out of pvc pipe so.....neo-historical?? lol 

It looks just like this one:
(It actually shoots pretty well considering)




Its sooooooo nice to meet people with the same views.

[E-Brennan]

Actually I made a bow out of pvc pipe so.....neo-historical?? lol

Best comment I've read for a long time!  Really made my day, and bittersweet as it brought back some fun memories of my own male childhood.   

[Lara the Lover and the Fighter]

Or kinda steam-punk or post-nuclear .

HAH!  I should spray paint it with some metal looking paint and put some gears and bolts on it.  Steampunk!! 

[xponentialshift]

Actually I made a bow out of pvc pipe so.....neo-historical?? lol 

I made some of these two years ago but I overheated them during construction so they broke after about a month... I was using an electric stove for one and a wood fire for another... Not the most precise heating tools...

I don't see any reason why this should be a male activity. If anything it is a lot like an arts and crafts project which is typically considered a female activity.

And yes especially with the hunger games series going mainstream, archery is definitely not a male only sport now.

[Lara the Lover and the Fighter]

I made some of these two years ago but I overheated them during construction so they broke after about a month... I was using an electric stove for one and a wood fire for another... Not the most precise heating tools...

I don't see any reason why this should be a male activity. If anything it is a lot like an arts and crafts project which is typically considered a female activity.

And yes especially with the hunger games series going mainstream, archery is definitely not a male only sport now.

I have been to many historical re-enactment fests and while events such as knight tournaments or field buhurts are male dominated, usually there is quite significant female dominance in archery contests (and dancing too, ofc) .

Darn I was really looking for masculine things that I do.  I guess archery is out. lol

Well I still have skateboards and t-shirts.  But then again so many girls skate now.




She's cool:
(Hillary Thompson: first open transgender skater)

[Ev]

I will forever be a Drog, that is for sure hahahaha.  In my opinion some of the most attractive people are the ones that straddle the gender line...but, that is my personal opinion.  I've been with a woman for 15 years who can pass off as a little teenage boy if she dresses right so consider me bias.  I look like a 30-something man in drab, but when I am out in makeup I "lose" about 8-12 years according to some. 

Back when I was a "boy" I was in a few medieval sword and board contests...almost won a tourney.  Third place, semi-final...but the judge didn't like me because he thought it was unfair that I had experience in MA and it was a "amateur" division so he refused to call any of my points...it was only my second medieval tourney so I thought that put me in "amatuer" as I never fought with a sword and shield but hey.  Archery I suck at because I have a depth-perception problem/need glasses(?) I think.  In close it's all about "feel" and I am sensitive to motion, sound, and touch and did some time in MA, so that "in your face" stuff worked for me.  Your eyes get the best of you in melee so you can't really rely on them anyways.

Let's just say to hit the broad side of a barn I need a shotgun with birdshot, a 20-foot spread, a map to point out the direction of the barn itself, and someone kind enough to rotate me in the direction of said barn.   

Thank you Lara!     Tell me what you think when you are done in a PM or something so we don't hijack the thread lol.  I am working on a second poetry book now and any feedback (honest feedback!) I can get will help me with some of the direction I am taking the second one.

[JadeFla]

I'm 31 and have yet to start. It is so encouraging to see others much older than me that have transitioned well.

I'm thinking my first step will be finasteride. I've read up on the side effects and I'm okay with all that. I still need to find a therapist I can trust before I'll be able to get E.

[Violet Bloom]

  I hadn't remembered just how far back this thread started - long before I got here.  I'd posted to it on page 7 and even that was almost two years ago.  Anyway, I started transition at a snail's pace back in summer 2012 at age 35 but things have really accelerated over the past year.  You can see by my tickers how long I've been on HRT.  I just turned 37 and hopefully will be going full-time before my next birthday.  My goal is to complete everything I want for transition before I hit 40.

[KayXo]

the lady who pierced my ears said, "There aren't many things that are rites of passage for us in our culture. Getting our ears pierced and giving birth are about it." Or something to that effect. I don't really remember.

What about getting your periods? That is certainly a rite of passage. I'm glad though I don't have those and menstrual cycles...