Why don't I pass?

[YellowDaisy]

passing is not ALL about what you look like. the reason why it's important to have confidence when transitioning is because it allows you to be natural. many people can tell when someone is being a fake, and that's usually because they have low confidence so they try compensating for that by trying to be someone they are not. they say when you are beautiful from the inside it will reflect on the outside. confidence is a very powerful thing, and i think you are taking that too literally, ashley.

[Pippa]

I can't agree more, I doubt it is just your dress and make up.    It looked a cheap wig and your brows need tidied a bit but otherwise you would pass as female.   Voice, mannerisms and posture cannot be guessed from a photo so work on those.   Confidence and self belief, even if it is only on the surface, helps a lot too.

[lovelove]

i think you look gorgeous!

[Britney♥Bieber]

I disagree. She is still early in HRT. HRT can give her amazing results. No one is perfect, many girls suffer the same types of issues. She can still pass 100% without those features you mentioned.

Aww thanks a lot

Britney, some of your features are a little strong, as someone pointed out, but I really think people have to be looking for that before they will start thinking "man." I really had to look, myself. I think you're cute.

As one or two posters have already mentioned, Halloween does impel people to look for what's "under the mask," and it's quite common for men to dress as women on that day. So folks might scrutinize you until they assemble just enough data to conclude that you must be one of those men. Everyday activities are a better guide for whether you're being read accurately.

Kate, I'm very curious about this; can you give a couple of examples?

Aww thanks! I never get tired of hearing people say I'm cute or pretty =3

You do pass... u just look really mean in the 3rd photo. oh and in the 2nd photo ur bra looks weird, like theres nothing there so ur doing that wrong. try stuffing or wearing tighter shirts with a pushup bra. Back when i was flat i tried breast forms but theyre sooo annoying and dont look or feel real. so i would rather just stuff with toilet paper like every other teen girl out there lol.

I got a bra and stuffed it with socks. I don't have boobs yet so of course it looks fake haha.

OK I've just shown the 3rd pic to my wife, who knows nothign about you or where the photo came from. I just said it was a halloween pic.

She says it looks like a girl who's a bit annoyed or trying to look scary.

On the basis of your photos, I think you look fine. I don't agree about your ridges, your eyebrows, your nose or anything else. I really think you look OK.

But I also really think you need to believe it.

You know, when I was living as female, I forgot I was male. OK, that sounds really lame, I was madly in love and thought it would go on for ever. (I was 18, gimmie a break!!  ). But since I never thougt about it, no-one else did. Or if they did, I just ignored it. Can't please everyone.

And, thinking back, my facial features weren't that diffrent from yours. My skin was still smooth I was as slim as you, or perhaps a bit slimmer. Think we're about the same height, 5' 6" And I didn't really have your hips.

omg yay!! And does that mean I have good hips? lol

i think you look gorgeous!

Aww thanks <3

[Fencesitter]

men bless em, if the legs, butt and boobs are doing there thing, oft get lost in that....

Ah, come on, don't underestimate guys. Just because legs, butt and boobs... er well, what was I just talking about? 

Okay, honestly, I think most what made you not pass was the wig in a helloween context, and maybe, in the extreme, the fact that hormones haven't had their effects for long. I don't know about your voice or mannerism, but I think, over time, you will do fine.

If you want to stuff your bra so that it looks natural, here's a tip from a friend's friend who made drag queen shows for a living: use something filled with rice, the fake boobs will fall and behave naturally then. Unfortunately, I don't remember WHAT he filled with rice.

[K8]

If you want to stuff your bra so that it looks natural, here's a tip from a friend's friend who made drag queen shows for a living: use something filled with rice, the fake boobs will fall and behave naturally then. Unfortunately, I don't remember WHAT he filled with rice.

I believe you can use the feet of pantyhose for that.  There are threads on here about how to create decent fake breasts to use until you have your own.

- Kate

[Angela]

You look very passable to me Britney. My favorite pic is the one you took with your friend.

[Britney♥Bieber]

You look very passable to me Britney. My favorite pic is the one you took with your friend.

Thanks sis! <3

[Hermione01]

I think you are very beautiful.

I watched Murder on the Orient Express recently and you remind me of the actress Jacqueline Bisset, so I googled some pics of her when she was really young. I see a strong resemblance in many of her pics.

[Fencesitter]

You remind me of the famous French actress Charlotte Gainsbourg:

on a bad hair day:


on a good hair day:


another pic:


And, from your facial features, you also remind me of the singer Patti Smith, but much healthier and without long-term drug effects (sorry, another bad hair day pic, but it's difficult to find pics of her where she doesn't exactly look like a homeless junkie):

[Britney♥Bieber]

Umm thanks? :S haha

[ThenWeWereFlying]

Your hair is really good, you face in general, actually. You cute girl.
I don't know how you dress on normal days, maybe that has something to do with it? Cause you pass pretty well here, or maybe your voice, I've never heard it.

[Arch]

I should also point out a couple of other things. When I'm "dismantling" your face, I think I see specific features that might tip people off.  The thing is, I wouldn't be looking at specific features like that unless you had asked me to. Your face is a face, not just an assortment of facial parts. When I look at the big picture, I see a girl. Woman. Well, girl, because you look very young. And I see a pretty face. Hormones will tip the balance for you even more; your skin will soften, your cheeks will round out a little, and whatever else happens--and these "improvements" will help to deemphasize other characteristics that you're less fond of.

I know a trans woman who is super attractive. She was talking about FFS one day, and I was . So she took her face apart for me, bit by bit. I never would have noticed if she hadn't said something; all I saw was a nice-looking woman. Now that I can "see" each feature separately, I can see why she wants surgery--I guess--but I cannot understand why she wants FFS before genital surgery. I was thinking that FFS would be her last step, if she still felt like it and could afford it.

What the heck, I still look in the mirror and think, "Do I look masculine enough? Do I look like a guy?" That's the main reason I want facial hair. Sometimes I hate being blond.

[Britney♥Bieber]

Thanks Arch!! Made my day. haha. I've wanted to be pretty for so long and it feels really good to hear it.
And I agree, I was always puzzled as to why mtfs would get other surgeries before srs.

[Arch]

Thanks Arch!! Made my day.

Well, good. I guess the truth doesn't always have to hurt.

[Keroppi]

Thanks Arch!! Made my day. haha. I've wanted to be pretty for so long and it feels really good to hear it.
And I agree, I was always puzzled as to why mtfs would get other surgeries before srs.

Well, unless you get intimate with someone, no one else ever see you down there, whereas everyone see your face. So that is understandable even if that's not what I'll do myself. Although that might have something to do with my ability to reasonably pass already.

EDIT: And oh, you look all (very pretty!) girl to me. So it's was either someone outing you, or your voice / mannerism.

[Summerfall]

Since it was Halloween, people are going to assume things that they wouldn't normally and this will make it harder to pass. I think it's especially true if you are A) tall, or B) at a gay club.

Anyway, I think you look great in all your photos. I think your Ke$ha costume is awesome.

[Britney♥Bieber]

Well, good. I guess the truth doesn't always have to hurt.

haha thats true lol

Well, unless you get intimate with someone, no one else ever see you down there, whereas everyone see your face. So that is understandable even if that's not what I'll do myself. Although that might have something to do with my ability to reasonably pass already.

EDIT: And oh, you look all (very pretty!) girl to me. So it's was either someone outing you, or your voice / mannerism.

That does make sense I suppose. I guess the way I look at it, I don't care how I look I just want to be a woman physically. =/

Since it was Halloween, people are going to assume things that they wouldn't normally and this will make it harder to pass. I think it's especially true if you are A) tall, or B) at a gay club.

Anyway, I think you look great in all your photos. I think your Ke$ha costume is awesome.

That's true. I don't feel tall, I'm only 5 7. And it was at some girls house lol

[Cruelladeville]

I can understand why....

The first surgeries I did were a nose and trach shave.... this was because I was v.early thirties and needed to keep a job!

So if you intend to keep working through your transition....doing face work if you're on sales or face-ta-face pre the down below stuff males perfect sense to me....

And you cannot hide faces behind veils, well okay in the middle-east perhaps.... but women's working roles are even more limited there....lol

[Jalene E.]

Hi Britney, I see a cute girl but the wig did have an issue, wrong color for you. Other wise I would say you are looking pretty good girl. I know there have been many post about mannerism, speech and how a woman is supposed to move and walk. Take some time and go to a mall and do some people watching. When you study how females move and how males move there is no way to come up with what a female movement should be or what a male movement should be because there are so many variations of male and female that it is extremely difficult to say you must walk this way or that way, stand this way or that. This also includes speech, really listen to how woman and men speak, many variations. If we where still living in the victorian age then it would be rather simple to distingish female and male speech and movement because these things were actually taught.

I have found that many girls simply try to hard to be girls and out themselves because it is over taught in the transexual world that woman are a certain way. Yes we need to take on more of the female role to pass but we have a great variation to work with which makes it quite easy. Stop trying to be a woman and just be the girl that you are. I have read so many sites that are said to teach you how to be a woman but in the real world I have never seen such a woman rather I see individuals with a great variation.

The most important thing I believe to pass as the real you is your energy. The energy we give off tells our story whether you want it to or not. I know who I am and that is the energy I Present to the world. The first week I went in public I had people questioning, is that a guy or a girl? That was with only wearing a womans shirt but I went out believing who I was with all my heart which allowed me to give off my real energy. I did not work at moving a certain way or speaking a certain way I just became the woman that was hidden. We are all idividuals but believing who you are and presenting that image to the world will get you what you want.