What's with the FtM bashing?

[Devyn]

Lately, I've been seeing a lot of negative things about FtMs. Like the idea that we're transitioning because of some internalized misogyny, or we're a trend, or we're all fake, or some ->-bleeped-<- that I'm too pissed to remember.

It's really starting to piss me off. I could handle it a couple of times - two or three but I mean...what the hell? Where did this rush of negativity come from? I mean, literally the ONLY time that I can do something FtM-related that isn't negative is when I watch Degrassi or when I'm on Susans. It's a bit ridiculous, actually.

ALSO, somewhat related, I'm sick of girls thinking I'm a lesbian and guys thinking I'm a tomboy after I tell them I'm a GUY. >>

Just...I'm done with this anti-FTM ->-bleeped-<-, because apparently it's our fault for everything.

And it's just...I'm not even TRYING to find this ->-bleeped-<-. It just pops up out of no where or I hear about it here so I go look at it.

Whatever, man. Done with this. It's getting a bit ridiculous.

Sorry. Just ranting.

Anyone else notice this?

[juliekins]

Sorry for the BS that you've had to deal with, Devyn. I for one support you, along with hundreds of others here on this Board. Hang in there!

[Janet_Girl]

I am sorry if you have felt that way from people here.  I might kid with you guys, but I am in your corner.

If something bothers you. please feel free to report is to the moderators in the lower right hand corner of the offending post.

If it is outside or the forum.  You could post something, but they unfortunately have the right to say what they wish, right wrong or indifferent.

[Osiris]

That's one issue I've had as I've been accepting more of the realities of being trans. We have such a loving supportive environment here at Susan's I sometimes forget that there are people out there who don't understand transsexuality and even hate and want to hurt transpeople. I'm so use to being around people who really get it that I forget there are people out there who have no clue and will never understand.

But there are also caring and accepting people out there who may not completely get it but will still support you. It's just like anyone else out there, you just gotta find the people out there who you jive with.

[NightWing]

You have any links or examples?

[Sarah Louise]

I must be missing something. I will admit I don't read every post, but I read a lot of them, especially when I think there might be something controversial in them.

The problem is, I haven't seen this glut of anti trans/anti FtM posts.  I also haven't seen any of them reported so that we as Moderators can take a closer look to see if something needs to be done.

Please help us to help you, report posts that you feel have gone overboard, when you do report them, tell us what your objection is, we are more than willing to investigate.

Sarah L.

[Alexmakenoise]

Lately, I've been seeing a lot of negative things about FtMs. Like the idea that we're transitioning because of some internalized misogyny, or we're a trend, or we're all fake, or some ->-bleeped-<- that I'm too pissed to remember.

That stuff sucks, but it gets easier to avoid taking it personally when you realize that people say the same things about anything that's new or different. 

For example, when I went vegetarian 17 years ago, I took a lot of crap for it.  Got accused of "following a trend", "trying to mask an eating disorder", "trying to be different just to get attention".  These days, vegetarianism is so commonplace, people don't really bat an eyelid. 

Same with being bisexual.  Same with having with having tattoos.  The criticisms get easier to ignore as it becomes more obvious that they're just generic expressions of discomfort with something new and different.

[V M]

Dude!!!

I for one love my Bro.s here

I had no idea that kinda stuff was going on... If it is, it should be reported... The insane world around us gives us enough crap already... We don't need it here

*HUGS... and a sock to the shoulder*

[Nathan.]

That's one issue I've had as I've been accepting more of the realities of being trans. We have such a loving supportive environment here at Susan's I sometimes forget that there are people out there who don't understand transsexuality and even hate and want to hurt transpeople. I'm so use to being around people who really get it that I forget there are people out there who have no clue and will never understand.

I have this problem so whenever people hate on trans people it really shocks and upsets me. Susans is like a little bubble where we are pretty much safe from transphobia.

[insideontheoutside]

Eh, you know whenever you do something outside of what the bulk of society considers "normal" you'll find a percentage of people who are going to bash you for it. Especially if it has to do with gender or sexuality.

[E]

Look, you guys are awesome. Really. Why else would I grace/annoy [strike to taste] you with my presence so often? Don't make me get out the pom-poms. Do I have to get out the pom-poms?

What the haters say is just the wind blowing. Everything and everybody is hated by someone. You guys just happen to be standing on the peak, so the wind hits you full force. So just grin - because there's nothing more manly than laughing in the face of the wind .

[BunnyBee]

I feel reading that sort of baseless, sloppy, biogtry, which I've been seeing a lot lately too, will do you no good whatsoever.  If you happen to be in the wrong frame of mind, it can actually do a lot of harm.  It's very easy for somebody to come up with some nonsense that will enrage people and that is something a lot of people aim for, especially on the internet, whether for the "lulz" or to drive traffic to their site or whatever other reason.  Personally, I don't think it's healthy for that really mindless hatred stuff to even be linked to from a support site like this, but I've seen it happen many times.

If you see links like that, don't even click them because it can be harmful to you or, at the very least, you empower the people that produce that bull->-bleeped-<- when you visit their sites.

Pardon french...

[HelenW]

Trans men are beginning to become more visible to our society and are thus reaping some of the same kind of ignorance and hate that MtF people have been dealing with for years.  Trans men are being recognized as actually existing, with men like SDthan St Pierre, Chaz Bono, Diego Sanchez and even Buck Angel coming into the public eye.

All the negativity about FtM people you are hearing is just a symptom caused by being noticed, if ya ask me.

[Osiris]

Very good point Emelye. FTMs are getting more out there which of course will cause a backlash, but it's the only way to make progress.

[meh]

Most of the bashing I've read have come from lesbians. It's really strange.

What gets really irritating is the "we're just straight girls wanting to be gay pretty boy bishies b/c we read yaoi or like jrock" business. God that annoys me to no end. They say that these type of ftms are everywhere, and that it's a trend now.

I don't know, there are like a small handful of us on here that enjoy yaoi/bara and jrock. That's not why we're trans though I can tell you that much. And there's nothing wrong with not liking body hair, wanting to look young and attractive, or liking gay porn.  None of us here think taking T will turn us into models and I have yet to meet anyone who thinks this way.

And the whole us not being actually trans because we're "straight" or like men is a bunch of bull->-bleeped-<-.

And apparently "being trans is the new goth".    Yeah...no.

When I read this crap I eye roll so hard my head hurts.

[Mrs Erocse]

Very good point Emelye. FTMs are getting more out there which of course will cause a backlash, but it's the only way to make progress.

It is unfortunate that the only way to help people see and understand is to actually put yourself out there and let them see. Then you have to put up with thier slow and archaic ways of thinking.  Slowly, slowly growth happens. Sorry that you have been feeling down about these things.

~Hugs~
Mrs. Erocse

[PixieBoy]

I'm sick of that bovine feces too.

I am a guy, I do not hate women, I'm not "just a lesbian", I'm not "doing it for attention", and I am NOT gonna settle with "that boyish chick". I like women, but I'm not one.

I have seen pictures of my friends on that Very In-Need-Of-Cleaning Blog (you may know which one I mean). The person who writes that blog is so bitter and hateful. I can't stand to see such vitriol, rage and hatred.

I love this board. You're all marvellous. I am currently suffering from hormonal imbalance (internal organs telling me I must bleed), so if I sound a bit odd, that is why.

Cheers, everyone. Have a good time.

[Arch]

What gets really irritating is the "we're just straight girls wanting to be gay pretty boy bishies b/c we read yaoi or like jrock" business.

Yeah, like I even give a crap about yaoi or anything else like that. Anyway, if I had wanted to be a gay pretty boy, I would have transitioned twenty years earlier, or even ten. It's a little late for me to be even remotely "pretty," even for a guy and even if it might have been possible at some point. I'm pushing fifty, for chrissake.

[lilacwoman]

I'm surprised to read of FtM bashing.
Especially so as I don't remember ever seeing any FtM character being used for belly laughs in commercials while at least once an hour I have to watch a fat bloke in a dress advertising banking, and another advertising toilet tissues and another advertising phone services.
FtMs should be so lucky.

[Alessandro]

Okay so I had a look at BlueTraveler's blog and there's stuff on there I agree with and stuff on there I don't.  It's nowhere near as bad as Dirt's and she does make some good points.  But she seems to pander a lot to people's opinions - if a radical feminist calls an MtF an invalid lesbian he will say she doesn't agree that she's a real lesbian.  Then later an MtF goes and comments and once again she's being diplomatic. 

Everyone just needs to remember that this is the internet and people express their opinions on it.  They can post whatever opinion they like with no fear, whereas in real life they would be restrained by polite society.  People have opinions on everything, everyone's different and the human world is a rich and varied place.  What matters is how you feel and how the people close to you feel.  I'm not discouraged by people like the aforementioned, or any transphobic words I may come across online.