SRS but live as male for short time.

[jessicas37]

I am just wondering if anyone has or know of anyone whom has gone through srs but continued to work as male.
FYI i am 37 and in a highly visible carrear and have only 8 years till i can retire, my sister and mother both are small breasted A cups so i doubt my development will be much especially with my age. I have discussed the rtl with my dr and she feels the rtl is important and i agree.But i am in a special circumstance and was looking for a president to go by for some reassurance. i and 5"7 good height but overwieght @ 241 though i am dropping faster now that i gave up the mt dew. just looking for some helpful advice that is all..........jessi

[CaitJ]

If you can find a surgeon who will do it, go for it. 

[spacial]

I haven't managed to get anything surgical at all.

But while it would be nice to achieve all the ambitions I have about my appearance, I'd be satisfied just to have the ugly bit removed.

Since I've been on Susans' and discovered the effects of female hormones, I suspect, in time I would look more and more female. That would be great, to slowly develop. But I'd be quite happy to settle for just the lower part.

[rejennyrated]

I think you will find this very difficult to do for all sorts of reasons that I have already explained in your previous similar thread. Not least the fact that there is a much higher incidence of regret amongst those who attempt this sort of thing, and those who do something like this and end up with regrets do have a very nasty habit of then trying to sue the doctors involved ala Sam Kane in the UK who now wants SRS banned simply because HE made a mistake!

As it happens I do know of one person who did this but unfortunately for you I would not really be able to use them as an example of success, and therefore actually I have to say that in your therapists shoes I too would be resisting, based on the fact that I have seen it fail.

[spacial]

I understand your point Jenny. I too doubt this would be available.

It's just sad that a few idiots and trouble makers can manage to spoil things for the rest of us.

[VeronikaFTH]

To be honest I have thought about this as a possibility... but I don't see how it would work. It may seem like a good idea on the surface, but would you really be able to have SRS and then not live fully as the person who you are? I couldn't do it, myself... 

[spacial]

To be honest I have thought about this as a possibility... but I don't see how it would work. It may seem like a good idea on the surface, but would you really be able to have SRS and then not live fully as the person who you are? I couldn't do it, myself...

I take your point.

I have thought about this approach for a number of years, to be honest. I mentioned it in a post almost a year ago.

My feeling is that, firstly, I need to be rid of the ugly bit. (Sorry for the euphamism). From there I could start to build.

I did live as female, for a short time, in my late teens. It didn't work out for a number of reasons, not least being, that I wasn't emotionally or intellectually prepared.

But the assertion, not being the person I am. I would be the person I am. I would gradually develop, as everyone does, and become whatever I will.

I appreciate that many have their idea of what they hope to achieve. I respect that, completely.

For me, personally, the idea of becoming an instant female just seems a bit..... 

Once the ugly bit is removed, I would need to take HRT for the rest of my life. There is no reason I couldn't take female hormones. I would prefer that. From there I would develop as naturally as my body intends. I might end up being astonishingly ugly. I could feature on the cover of Time as the world's ugliest woman.

I doubt there is a young girl in existance that doesn't hope to grow up to be beautiful, or a boy who doesn't hope to be a big all male he-man. But everyone has to take what they get.

I'd like surgery to correct this terrible flaw. From there, I'd prefer to take my chances like almost everyone else has done. Then, I could develop my personality, my character and my relationships from the psoition of who I am, not this freak with a stinking stupid ugly bit.

You know something. I've learnt so much on Susans'. One thing I've learnt is that we can be who we are. Hormone therapy has some remarkable effects. Look at Jerica, Izuma, Megan, Nicky.

I'd really like to be a stunning, 20 something female, sauntering down the street, with guys in big cars, running into each other because they can't take their eyes off me. I'd like to have the personality of Jerica, the compassion of Megan. But I'm ready to settle for me.

Perhaps I'm just looking at thigs a bit differently. I see the ugly bit as a big poison, a ball and chain, a 10th class citizen's card, limiting what I can do, who I can be. It's a prison, holding me in, while the rest of the world carries on. It smells. It hurts. It's distorted my once lovely body into a hulk of hair and social expectations.

I'd better stop now or I might be advised to finish this in the PMS section. 

If you've hadthe patience to read this far. Thank you.

[jessicas37]

I think you will find this very difficult to do for all sorts of reasons that I have already explained in your previous similar thread. Not least the fact that there is a much higher incidence of regret amongst those who attempt this sort of thing, and those who do something like this and end up with regrets do have a very nasty habit of then trying to sue the doctors involved ala Sam Kane in the UK who now wants SRS banned simply because HE made a mistake!

As it happens I do know of one person who did this but unfortunately for you I would not really be able to use them as an example of success, and therefore actually I have to say that in your therapists shoes I too would be resisting, based on the fact that I have seen it fail.

It seems I am trying to hard for outside validation AKA "the pat on the back" telling me everything will be ok. I know why the SOC are there and their purpose.

I dont want to be another statistic i just want to be me.

I will acomplish my goal my one day of that i am certain. if as they say wisdom is gained through adversity then when i do make the all in final plunge hopefully me and my loved ones will be better for it.

-jessi

"It is not the destination but journey that defines us"  - Tasslehoff Burrfoot

[sarahm]

In Thailand, it's illegal for them to operate without RLE being completed, same with 1 year on hormones, psych approval and an actual diagnosis. I know RLE is scary, I know a few people that have transitioned late in life, they pass fine after a good 6-12 months on HRT. The point of RLE is to show that this is what you really need and not just a "I woke up this morning and wanted a vagina".
None of us want to see anymore statistics, if this is what you need then DO IT and jump through the stupid hoops. In the end, it's worth it.

[rejennyrated]

In Thailand, it's illegal for them to operate without RLE being completed, same with 1 year on hormones, psych approval and an actual diagnosis. I know RLE is scary, I know a few people that have transitioned late in life, they pass fine after a good 6-12 months on HRT. The point of RLE is to show that this is what you really need and not just a "I woke up this morning and wanted a vagina".
None of us want to see anymore statistics, if this is what you need then DO IT and jump through the stupid hoops. In the end, it's worth it.

Exactly so! Good post!

[JohnR]

I am just wondering if anyone has or know of anyone whom has gone through srs but continued to work as male.
FYI i am 37 and in a highly visible carrear and have only 8 years till i can retire, my sister and mother both are small breasted A cups so i doubt my development will be much especially with my age. I have discussed the rtl with my dr and she feels the rtl is important and i agree.But i am in a special circumstance and was looking for a president to go by for some reassurance. i and 5"7 good height but overwieght @ 241 though i am dropping faster now that i gave up the mt dew. just looking for some helpful advice that is all..........jessi

We're all special.

[spacial]

In Thailand, it's illegal for them to operate without RLE being completed, same with 1 year on hormones, psych approval and an actual diagnosis. I know RLE is scary, I know a few people that have transitioned late in life, they pass fine after a good 6-12 months on HRT. The point of RLE is to show that this is what you really need and not just a "I woke up this morning and wanted a vagina".
None of us want to see anymore statistics, if this is what you need then DO IT and jump through the stupid hoops. In the end, it's worth it.

I appreciate that and the points about people acting on a whim. Though the arguments are specious and the claims about the fools are both exagerated and overstated, I fully accept that these are the conditions set by those with the authority. I will add that, though I, along with every medical practitioner in the UK, maintained millions of pounds in liability cover, there has never been a successful case, that I know of, where someone has successfully sued for plastic surgery, simply because they changed their mind. I doubt there has been such a case, outside of the US.

My own position is that I would like to reach and explore my reality in my own time and with some sembalance of nature. Ideally, I would have preferred to transsion as a child and had hormone blockers at pubitry. But none of that is going to happen.

I fully appreciate that many seek to transision as quickly as possible. I fully appreciate that many want to take advantage of all that modern medical technology has to offer. I am truely happy for you.

But I am not a preforming clown for the amusement and experience of some therapist with questionable qualifications and beliefs. I wear jeans, Doc Martein shoes and a sweat shirt because they are comfortable. I don't wear a bra because I don't have anything to put into it. I don't wear makeup for the same reason my wife doesn't and many woman don't.  I don't shave the hair on my face, completely off, because I don't want to damage my skin, for the time when I can become the physical woman I have always been.

I am presenting as woman now. I have been presenting as woman for years. I have a RLE. But no therapist would accept that. They want me to preform.

It's not that RLE is scary, it's that it is utterly ridiculous. Because it is a subjective judgement of what a woman should look like.

It seems unlikely I will ever be rid of all of my facial hair. I doubt I could afford even a short course of treatment. The hair of my head is thining. There is little I can do about that. I really don't care if my breasts grow. It would be nice if they did. It would be nice of they reached ideal proportions and didn't hurt my back. But I am ready to accept what nature throws at me.

As I said, I am very pleased for those of you who have or are going through the current procedures.

I am already a woman. I don't need to prove that to anyone. I have alwasy been a woman and always been totally aware of it. I play the fake man because I earn my living that way.

I would like to have the opportunity to have my ugly bit removed. But the price, my dignity, not to mention my soul, is a bit too high for me.

[CaitJ]

In Thailand, it's illegal for them to operate without RLE being completed, same with 1 year on hormones, psych approval and an actual diagnosis.

Hmm. Considering that one of the people mentioned in this thread was confirmed for surgery in Thailand without meeting these requirements, I'd say that they only notionally apply (i.e. they are for appearances only) or the person lied to the surgeon.

[CaitJ]

I am already a woman. I don't need to prove that to anyone. I have alwasy been a woman and always been totally aware of it. I play the fake man because I earn my living that way.

I would like to have the opportunity to have my ugly bit removed. But the price, my dignity, not to mention my soul, is a bit too high for me.

If you're a woman already, why do you need the 'ugly bit' removed?
Genitalia shouldn't be gendered by appearance. A woman can have a penis. A man can have a vagina. Your penis is female. If you can accept that all the rest of your presentation is female, then why not your genitals?

[rejennyrated]

Ok lets not have a shooting war starting here.

Clearly Vexing is correct in so far as to say otherwise would be to claim that non-ops are not valid in their chosen gender. That would be a breach of TOS rules. So clearly it must be considered possible to be a woman even if you still have your original genital configuration.

BUT

If Vexing takes herself out of dispassionate debating mode for a moment, I am sure she would agree that the fact that so many of us do want SRS means that we can understand where Spacial and others are coming from. Ultimately we all wanted that little bit removed or we would not now be postop.

So Vexing - I call you on your debating stance. Your point is correct, but unfortunately as someone who, like me, obviously wanted to be rid of that part, and indeed has undergone the treatment, your stance is not entirely an intellectually honest one. So you can hardly hold that position and expect Spacial to suddenly agree that actually she does not want to have the operation which you and I have both had the benefit of.

The bottom line however is that the standards of care guidelines, love them or hate them, were put in place to safeguard both the doctors and the patients to some extent. They help the patient to be sure that what they are doing is what they REALLY want, and not an ill thought out whim. When you go through transition it is a wakeup call. This is no longer the dream in which everything would be perfect. It is the hard reality, where everything is decidedly imperfect. Now the question becomes -is this imperfection what I really want? When you have lived through the struggle of RLE you will know the answer.

Secondly In conducting SRS you are asking a doctor to remove healthy tissue, which technically would be a violation of their Hippocratic oath. So at very least you owe it to them to do whatever they deem necessary to allow them to perceive the treatment as necessary and therefore permissible under that oath.

Oh by the way Vex - I love your little limericks in the signature. Very funny! You should compile a book of them and publish.

[CaitJ]

I'm not actually taking any particular stance; I'm asking Spacial questions.

[rejennyrated]

I'm not actually taking any particular stance; I'm asking Spacial questions.

A very skillful debating technique that I was taught myself - but sadly am not as good at as I would like. Make your "opponent" come to you by asking the right questions.

In all seriousness you really should run for political office. You would be brilliant!

But my point is that the answer to the question - we know - Of course one can be female with inappropriate bits, it's just not a comfortable state to be in for most of us.

[CaitJ]

But my point is that the answer to the question - we know - Of course one can be female with inappropriate bits, it's just not a comfortable state to be in for most of us.

And that's where the questions lead: is this person dysphoric about their genitals or do they want them removed because they consider that penises and testicles are inherently male?

[spacial]

I'm simply saying that, my ideal would be to have what is between my legs, configured to suit my image of who I am.

It has been responsible for altering my body, distorting into a shape and feel that makes me uncomfortable and has pressured me into conforming to a role that I'm not suited for.

I respect the wishes of others, to have procedures on other areas, so they can present as female more quickly. But I would be happy to have, just that part corrected, then, with HRT, allow my body to develop in its own time.

I was adding that, I see my entire life as RLE. I may not be a conventional woman, but I feel somewhat insulted that I should have to prove it, by acting according to some else's image of what a woman is.

I'm sorry about being so long winded. It must be difficult to follow what someone is saying when they rant, 10 to the dozen.

Thank you Jenny for clarifying my points. It really makes a difference to know I'm not talking to empty space. I understand that Vexing has a tendency to dispasionate argument. But I doubt we would want her any other way. 

[CaitJ]

Thanks Spacial, my curiosity is satisfied