->-bleeped-<- ->-bleeped-<- ->-bleeped-<-

[Mr.Rainey]

I hate this. ->-bleeped-<-ING HATE IT. It makes me wanna punch walls and break ->-bleeped-<-. What did I deserve to do have this happen. Was I a sexist in my past life? Is there some lesson I am supposed to learn here?

Why can I handle (almost) everything about this body but this? Sure I can deal with my chest, and my lack of bits but periods are the worst. This time I got of easy, I didn't black out or vomit. I was not in enough pain to scream and beg for it to end. Why is it when I have this evil thing and I get piss drunk I don't black out of throw up but if I am sober not matter what I do I puke and pass out. This can't be healthy to do every month but its the only thing that helps. I tried everything, lord knows I did. I wish there was a better way.

Why the ->-bleeped-<- can't they cut this monster out of me? I never asked for it. Can't I give it away to a woman who wants it? How about someone who is infertile? I am not going to use it for anything but curse its existance, how is that fair to anyone? I wish someone would listen. I wish someone would care instead of just worry about me. I want ->-bleeped-<- to be solved.

[mm]

I am with you for every month when I get mine.  Why, why I don't want it, the mess and pain that I get. 

[VeryGnawty]

What did I deserve to do have this happen. Was I a sexist in my past life? Is there some lesson I am supposed to learn here?

If there is a lesson we are supposed to be learning, I think I'm missing it.  I feel like I've been stuck in the wrong body for far too long.  Even if I were sexist in a past life, I feel like my penance should have already been over by now.

I'm doing everything I can to figure all this stuff out now.  Should I fail to find the answers in this life, I have a lot of questions lined up for the afterlife.  A whole list of damn questions.

Sometimes it just seems futile.  I'm 28 years young, and I don't even have a good explanation for why my life is so ->-bleeped-<-ed up.  Do I blame it on God?  Chemistry?  Random chance?  When I go out on a dark night and scream my rage to the heavens, I don't even know who I should be accusing.  If I at least had a reason for why things are as they are, I think I could achieve at least a minimum of peace.  It's frustrating to be tormented every waking hour.  To have ignorance on top of that is just adding insult to injury.  That's one of the reasons I spend so much time studying biology.  I can't stand not knowing why I am stuck in this hell.

Before I reincarnate again, I'm going to need a long vacation.  But for now, my meditation can wait.  Right now my rage is enough to provoke me to search for the answers.  There must be answers.  I refuse to believe I've lived a nightmare for no reason.

[spacial]

Mr.Rainey

I don't know if it makes any difference, but I so wish I could help you in any way. Even to offer a hug.

I feel for you and others, stuck in your situation so much. Believe me, it isn't borne out of envy, but empathy. Being stuck with something so alien to your being.

Just be brave. There is a end in sight, I'm sure of that.

[Sandy]

Mr. Rainey:

Lord knows I'm no expert on the subject, but I have heard that smoking marijuana can relieve some of the spasms associated with the red dragon.  That might be an alternative to alcohol.  It would be easier on your system compared to the amount you have to drink.

And hugs to you, guy, for having to endure this.  I hope it ends for you soon.

-Sandy

[Mr.Rainey]

Mr. Rainey:

Lord knows I'm no expert on the subject, but I have heard that smoking marijuana can relieve some of the spasms associated with the red dragon.  That might be an alternative to alcohol.  It would be easier on your system compared to the amount you have to drink.

And hugs to you, guy, for having to endure this.  I hope it ends for you soon.

-Sandy

I have tried weed once before, it would be hard to use cuz I live at home and in an apartment so ppl would smell it lol.

[VeryGnawty]

I'm sorry it makes you feel so bad, Rainey.  I know how bad dysphoria can get sometimes.  It's completely not fair that we are born with these bodies that other people admire, but we have no use for.

[Mr.Rainey]

I'm sorry it makes you feel so bad, Rainey.  I know how bad dysphoria can get sometimes.  It's completely not fair that we are born with these bodies that other people admire, but we have no use for.

Trade you

[Pinkfluff]

What did I deserve to do have this happen. Was I a sexist in my past life? Is there some lesson I am supposed to learn here?

Can't I give it away to a woman who wants it? How about someone who is infertile? I am not going to use it for anything but curse its existance, how is that fair to anyone? I wish someone would listen. I wish someone would care instead of just worry about me. I want ->-bleeped-<- to be solved.

I've thought along both those lines frequently myself. Sometimes I wonder if I was a criminal in a past life or something, one too many plunders and now I'm paying for it. You'd think if that was the case though the point would be to know what you're paying for...

I often think about solutions to this problem myself. Too bad the technology doesn't currently exist for any of them. Maybe one day it will. I probably won't be alive then, but it would be nice if one day a real fix for this was possible.

[VeryGnawty]

Trade you

I've always wished there was some kind of technology to do that.  It seems like such a simple and quick solution.  But I suppose there would be a lot of technical details that one would have to know to get it to work.

Too bad reality isn't more like fiction.  I would do like Ginyu from Dragonball Z.  I would just say "CHANGE NOW" to steal your body, and leave you with mine.  Hey wait, I've never scientifically tested that technique.  Let's see if it works.  CHAAAAAANGE NOW! 

Nope, I'm still in the same body.  Pity.  There are so many awesome ideas for solving our problems, but most of them seem impossible to accomplish.  I just hope that some day someone can come up with a much faster and easier solution.  I'd hate to think that every transsexual born after me for the next few centuries would have to spend years of taking hormones to change the body.  It just seems like there should be a more efficient method.  But the only thing I can think of is trying to swap the consciousness of two people into the other's body.  Unfortunately, nobody knows how to do that.

You'd better trade me fast, though.  The boy parts aren't working so well anymore.  I'll also probably start to gain a lot more feminine features by the time summer comes around.  (Summer in the northern hemisphere, I mean)

[Mr.Rainey]

I just wish I could get a hysto. I haven't come out to anyone at all so I am kinda just starting. I know I am ready for the hysto, mabey in a year or two hormones but I need to get a job and all that ->-bleeped-<- and I have no clue how to get a job as a Tguy. 

[Karla]

Do I blame it on God?  Chemistry?  Random chance?  When I go out on a dark night and scream my rage to the heavens, I don't even know who I should be accusing.  If I at least had a reason for why things are as they are, I think I could achieve at least a minimum of peace.

This is sadly how I also feel all too often, I just despair and ask questions to which I receive no answers and I think, I don't know how but I sure must have deserved this.

But unlike you, studying biology is the one thing I will not do despite my particular aptitude for the subject, it only serves to hurt me further.