WHEEEEEE!!!! I'M OUT AT WORK!!!

[zombiesarepeaceful]

  Alright...I'm more than happy. This was kind of hard for me, as the people at work had always addressed me by my female name, and I don't really know what they all thought about me looking like a guy.

Anyhow, I got the guts to ask my manager to make me a name tag with my male name on it, Matt. He thought I was just butch lesbian all along, but he's the most accepting of all the guys I close with, and is bisexual himself. He was really cool about it, said there was nothing wrong with it and he seemed happy for me. I still have to wear the other name tag when the hardxcore manager comes in but I can live with that. It makes me really happy to be addressed not by my female name any longer, that they know who I am now.

Now I just have to start thinking how to explain my facial hair growth..so far I only have light sideburns but once I grow other facial hair...its gonna be an interesting time explaining...kind of awkward? I'm just concerned about how the hardcore manager is gonna take it. She's not too accepting, and I don't know how its going to affect my hours, etc. Anybody have experience with coming out at work?

[Steph]

That's great news Matt.  Steps in the right direction that's for sure.  So what's with the "hardxcore" manager, is he transphobic, or something?  Are we going to have to go down there and sort him out?

We need to form a "Susan's Strike Force" to deal lethal blows to those who oppose us

Steph

[beckster]

We need to form a "Susan's Strike Force" to deal lethal blows to those who oppose us

Steph

Lol, if it was me I wouldn't like to be on the receiving end of such a strike force !!!! 


Heya hon, sounds like you are making progress with things which is good !! Just a thought for you here but maybe its time to start sitting down with people and explaining where things are really going with yourself.  Without knowing how the place you work is actually set up its sounds like you are going to have to speak with this high up manager if you want to come out at work.  Although you might be suprised I think, the most senior manager where I work scares me to death but once my own manager and HR Rep explained my situation to her and the rest of the management team she has been superb.  She still scares me but I know from things she has said to me that I have her support.  At the very least I would think you would need to initially speak with your immediate manager and discuss what you intend to do next.  Not quite sure if I am wording this next bit right but are there any company policies that provide cover for you ? 

It might be worth having a peek at this ... https://www.susans.org/wiki/A_Guide_to_Coming_Out_at_the_Workplace

Becky
xx

[Dennis]

Congrats Matt. Becky's right, you are going to have to come up with some sort of plan about telling people, about date of transition (if that's where you're headed), and keep people informed at your workplace so that they can deal with you accordingly.

Dennis

[zombiesarepeaceful]

Heh, yeah. "Susan's Strike Force".

Right now, I've done all I can do until I'm no longer underage and can get top surgery, which would complete my transition, besides legally changing my name, which will have to wait until then as well. I'm wondering if she'll even notice once I have facial hair, or if she'll even say anything at all. I figure eventually after I get surgery, I'll have to officially come out to her, but until then...meh.

I mean, my mom doesn't even know I'm transitioning. She doesn't agree with it, and denies everything. I don't want to come out to the head manager and BAM, have her speak to my mom or something. That wouldn't help...my mom is already judgemental and of no support whatsoever. Today she was waiting outside the men's room when I came out, so she finally knows I've been going in there. What am I supposed to do? Its awkward going in the women's room, because IM NOT A GIRL, and I pass as a guy so how would that go, eh? I just...agh. Don't get me started on my mom.

I just don't know what to do. Things going really rough. Back to wanting to die again, same old reasons. Depression, and being trapped in a girl's body. Blah. I guess if my manager says anything, I'll tell her and prepare for the worst suitation possible. Might as well get ready. Excuse my negativity...just...bad, bad day.

[Letti]

Aw, dude. Cheer up. 

I just got over wanting to die again. You just have to concentrate on other things than the depression. I know it's easier said than done.

Some people just are hard headed and don't want to accept changes. Eventually they'll get used to it. You have to be equally bull-headed as them. Hard to tell you what exactly to do. One thing is certain though, your mom and your manager will know at some point. Not very comforting am I? 

[zombiesarepeaceful]

Nah, you're comforting. I know they have to know sometime. My mom already does know, just denies it. And I am bullheaded..oh believe me, I am. Except not in the same way as my mom, I accept people. But we're both hard-headed as hell. I'm holding my breath waiting for the day my mom notices. Just waiting...agh. Its torture. Everything is torture, and for some reason I'm taking it harder than usual. Looking in the mirror is still a slap in the face, because to me, I see all the little feminine features that a stranger wouldn't notice. I'm overjudging myself...gotta slow down, remember that not all guys have the same shaped facial features and all...

[chunk]

Cool.

Don't we all go through an awkward, I hate myself stage when we transition from teenager to adult? I thought hating ourselves at that time was a natural thing. LOL.

You have way more cojones then I had at that age. Kudos for taking it on like you do. Ever thought about writing a book to document what you're going through so other people can gain courage from it?

Chunk.

[zombiesarepeaceful]

I've seriously thought about documenting it in some way...I tend to suck with words, but it would be worth a try. I started to make a transition page on yahoo geocites but I got lost in that whole program...meh. Wish I knew more about making a webpage, since another transition page on the internet couldn't hurt, and I don't have to be great with words for that. But I am documenting it somewhat on my myspace.
So the upper manager finally saw my name tag...it went over not well but I found out...SHES LEAVING SOON ANYHOW!!!!!!! To go to another store. So yay. She was the biggest damper on my coming out at work and shes gonna be gone...hehe. I must sound like an evil so n so =P