MTF: Did you join the military or police to 'man up'?

[Marcia]

I wanted to join the marines out if high school. I was hoping that it would help to "man up" but my dad talked me out it saying that I couldn't make it.
I ended up listening to him.

[janetcgtv]

Hey Jessica:

I wouldn't have joined the police dept in hopes I would be shot because I couldn't deal with being trans.

I would have done it so that a criminal would shoot me in the genitalia area.
And the doctors ask me if I want to live and the only way I could live was be a woman.

I would have said go ahead as I want to live.

[V M]

Possibly, but I don't really see much point in talking about it - It' nothing to brag about   

Sorry, just my opinion

Kind of a sour subject for me, one of the reasons I hate going to Dr. appointments is they always want to know where all the scares came from 

[Tessa James]

I was 17 yo, had few prospects and no place to live.  I also naively believed the ridiculous notion that it is a rite of passage into manhood.  Too many WWll movies and romantic notions of freeing people from oppressive dictators and communism.  What a load of crap.  A tour in Vietnam turned my world around.  The first casualty of war is the truth.  War is a gigantic and brutal waste of all we love, resolves no disputes and makes no one a hero or a man in my opinion.  I did meet my first adult boyfriend and shared the mayhem with people and cultures I would never have been exposed to without being in the US Army.  I came home knowing I was not a man but it took decades to fit the rest of the identity puzzle together.

[helen2010]

Joined the military and took on almost every macho sport or hobby that I could find.  It didn't work - I still felt like I was a fraud and just acting the part of a binary male.

[Jera]

I did, and I cannot describe how badly it turned out.

In the end, all I got were things like "Man, I thought you were hard until I saw those tears." Actually, my squad's opinion of me were what broke me more than any combat. I'm not sure if I'm sad enough that they will never know that.

[helen2010]

Jera

I felt like I was forced to change into someone that I barely recognised.  I survived and did vey well, but I didn't and still don't like the person who I became.  I often wonder where I would be if I hadn't signed up.

Aisla

[Petti]

I tried joining the Marine Corps in 2000, the year I graduated high school. It didn't work out for me. I got down to Parris Island and started crying and begging to go home. I can generally subsist in a male environment, but USMC was macho overload. I only made it a week into basic.

[helen2010]

Petti

Being completely honest, I resigned after a week.  In fact, due to bastardization,  38 of our 42 person class also resigned.  My brother, who was 3 years ahead at the Academy, told me not to take it seriously, to treat it like a joke and not to take it personally.  So I did.  It worked and I stayed for 10 years.  The trouble is that I still observe rather than participate and I still joke and use humour as a shield.  Not good.  Means that my relationship skills  were underdeveloped and I didn't know what it meant to be authentic.

[Jera]

I tried joining the Marine Corps in 2000, the year I graduated high school. It didn't work out for me. I got down to Parris Island and started crying and begging to go home. I can generally subsist in a male environment, but USMC was macho overload. I only made it a week into basic.

I actually thrived somehow in basic and AIT. I can't generate machismo on my own, but I can reflect it, so I think that's why, being surrounded by it when I so desperately wanted to have it for myself. But I wasn't able to maintain the facade for too much longer than that.

I guess I couldn't have reflected so well though, because I can't count how many times throughout the experience people cited DADT at me, just for saying things nobody else did. I guess you can only hide so much from people when you live, work, and breathe with people all day, every day.

They saw through my facade, in the end, even when I still denied it.

[Eevee]

It was one reason, but not one of the biggest reasons. I mainly joined the military for job security. I was discharged 2 years in anyways for disability. So much for job security, but at least they're still paying me and letting me keep the GI Bill benefits. I also joined so I could travel places I haven't been to before. They stationed me in Spokane, Washington (I'm from Oregon originally) and I was never deployed. Wee!

[Michaela Whimsy]

I actually thrived somehow in basic and AIT. I can't generate machismo on my own, but I can reflect it, so I think that's why, being surrounded by it when I so desperately wanted to have it for myself. But I wasn't able to maintain the facade for too much longer than that.

I tried to describe this once, the way you worded it makes so much sense.

[Jess42]

Well I joined not to "man up" but to just see if I could make it. It was the most miserable 4 years of my life but I wouldn't change it though because it just reinforced that I wasn't a real guy.

[CaseyD]

I joined up for a steady job, but with the requirements of appearance and behavior, it gave me the time to reflect and try to actually understand how I feel on the inside- and put me on the path towards the opposite of what I want.

[EvanAidan]

I enlisted pretty much for the same reasons. I wanted to man up and show that I was really the man I know I am. Halfway through I shattered my entire leg, but I waited and healed and finished my training. Now looking back I wish I never would have finished. I was chaptered out right after a deployment that I missed due to problems from the break I got in training.

It was a kick to the guy for me. I wasn't doing it for me but for the betterment of everything ya know. Yea I was a part of it but it wasn't just about me. Thats when I seen our military as it is. They claim to be a family, but when a soldier needs their help they abandon them. I support our troops oh ya I do... But not the way the system treats you when you need them.

[iiMTF]

As far as I'm concerned, I'm never going to join the military in the future. The thought of it simply scares me, and I cannot bring myself to shoot a gun or anything like that.

Also, in a way, aren't soldiers basically mindless drones? A lot of them just fight in order to protect their country, but on the flip side, the enemy troops are doing the same exact thing.  It's like they don't care how many innocent people on both sides will die in the process.. And as soon as they kill a person, they aren't innocent anymore. They're a murderer. The human race just loves to do whatever it takes, even kill each other for power. The US no longer cares about anything the country was founded on as soon as it comes to war. It's all about power for most people. We're such a corrupted species.

That's just how I see it. Thanks.

~A

[Jess42]

As far as I'm concerned, I'm never going to join the military in the future. The thought of it simply scares me, and I cannot bring myself to shoot a gun or anything like that.

Also, in a way, aren't soldiers basically mindless drones? A lot of them just fight in order to protect their country, but on the flip side, the enemy troops are doing the same exact thing.  It's like they don't care how many innocent people on both sides will die in the process.. And as soon as they kill a person, they aren't innocent anymore. They're a murderer. The human race just loves to do whatever it takes, even kill other for power. The US no longer cares about anything the country was founded on as soon as it comes to war. It's all about power for most people. We're such a corrupted species.

That's just how I see it. Thanks.

~A

No, soldiers just aren't mindless drones. Yes you have to follow lawful orders but unlawful orders you have duty to do the right thing. And no when soldiers are fighting a war and are engaging the enemy they are not murderers, unless a unit goes in and kills a village full of innocent civilians. Some times there are things that you have to fight for. There are a lot of unjustices in the world. The Holocaust, Genocide and the list goes on. Sometimes the strong have to protect the weak and innocent against Tyrannical mad maniacs. Or in a perfect world that is the way it should be.

Never say never. I never thought I would and I did.

[Jera]

Or in a perfect world that is the way it should be.

I would say in the perfect world there would be no need for anyone to need violent protection... there would be no maniacal tyrants.

[/nitpicking]

[iiMTF]

No, soldiers just aren't mindless drones. Yes you have to follow lawful orders but unlawful orders you have duty to do the right thing. And no when soldiers are fighting a war and are engaging the enemy they are not murderers, unless a unit goes in and kills a village full of innocent civilians. Some times there are things that you have to fight for. There are a lot of unjustices in the world. The Holocaust, Genocide and the list goes on. Sometimes the strong have to protect the weak and innocent against Tyrannical mad maniacs. Or in a perfect world that is the way it should be.

Never say never. I never thought I would and I did.

The US threatened to go to war with whoever let Snowden (the guy who committed treason) land in their country. Russia was the only country that let him land. The US was basically like "never mind... We're good!" When they heard Russia let him land, and never went to war. If the US fought in the way you say they did, they would've gone to war. (Tho I'm glad they didn't, as we'd probably be screwed and we'd be living in a war right now)

Even tho it was a good choice to not go to war with Russia, this disproves your statement.

Also, I didn't say they were mindless drones... I said "in a way" :p

Also - America not going to war with Russia was basically like saying "We make empty threats, because we're like those child bullies who are weak and can't fulfill our threats... So we just try to sound strong!"

Tho I do not believe this last sentence is true, it's what they did so.

~A

[GenTechJ]

I joined the Marine Corps in 2002 for three reasons.

1: I was unemployed, and not having any luck finding work. It was join the military or be homeless according to the people I was living with at the time.

2: This was the summer after 9/11, and even in me patriotism was pretty high.

3: I'm a military brat to begin with. Three of my grandparents (Grandma and Grandpa on my mom's side, Grandpa on my dad's side) were Army and served in WW2. My parents are both retired Coast Guard and most of my life was spent living on or near Coast Guard bases. My uncle is a retired Marine.

Ultimately I was discharged two months into basic, and that was after being dropped to MRP (Medical Rehabilitation Platoon) about 3-4 weeks in. "Manning up" was the last thing on my mind when I signed up, but then again I had locked away all thoughts of me being female for years before that point.