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Bad Jokes

Started by Cindy, March 13, 2011, 03:29:37 AM

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Cindy

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hazel

Most people don't know that back in 1912, Hellmann's mayonnaise was manufactured in England. In fact, the Titanic was carrying 12,000 jars of the condiment scheduled for delivery in Vera Cruz, Mexico, which was to be the next port of call for the great ship after its stop in New York .

This would have been the largest single shipment of mayonnaise ever delivered to Mexico . But as we know, the great ship did not make it to New York . The ship hit an iceberg and sank, and the cargo was forever lost.

The people of Mexico, who were crazy about mayonnaise, and were eagerly awaiting its delivery, were disconsolate at the loss. Their anguish was so great, that they declared a National Day of Mourning, which they still observe to this day. The National Day of Mourning occurs each year on May 5th and is known, of course, as - Sinko De Mayo
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Ms. OBrien CVT


  
It does not take courage or bravery to change your gender.  It takes fear of living one more day in the wrong one.~me
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Anna++

#903
Quote from: Ms. OBrien VT on February 06, 2013, 06:58:00 PM
Oh BOO, hiss.

One of my friends gave the same reaction to a joke I made the other day.  Context: We were discussing who was going to show up for bar trivia that night.

Friend:  have fun you guys!!!!
Me: Of course, having fun should be trivial :P
Sometimes I blog things

Of course I'm sane.  When trees start talking to me, I don't talk back.



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V M

LOL...


BCT Drill Sergeant (instructor) with new recruit
The main things to remember in life are Love, Kindness, Understanding and Respect - Always make forward progress

Superficial fanny kissing friends are a dime a dozen, a TRUE FRIEND however is PRICELESS


- V M
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hazel

Quote from: Ms. OBrien VT on February 06, 2013, 06:58:00 PM
Oh BOO, hiss.

haha  ;D well the topic did call for bad jokes right?  ;)
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Kevin Peña

Quote from: hazel on February 07, 2013, 05:34:41 PM
haha  ;D well the topic did call for bad jokes right?  ;)

As far as I'm concerned, you've failed to meet that objective.  :P
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Devlyn

Quote from: hazel on February 07, 2013, 05:34:41 PM
haha  ;D well the topic did call for bad jokes right?  ;)

Actually, after your joke we're thinking about renaming it "Hazels' Thread."  >:-)
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Kevin Peña

Biology joke: The genetic code is degenerate (or redundant). It hangs out at the peroxisomes (where alcohol is processed).

What do you can someone who is a playwright by day and a carpenter by night? Sawphocles!

A guy fell on the sidewalk and scraped himself. He said, "Gee, if you didn't like my shoes, you could've just said so. No need to be so abrasive."

You shouldn't drink and derive, or you'll end up in L'hopital.

And... badum tsh!  :P
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dalebert

We're expecting two feet of snow in New England.


dalebert

"Knit picking" -George Takei


dalebert

Don't know why
Spiders fell out of the sky...
Stormy webber!

LiveLeak.com - well this is creepy

Kevin Peña

I had the best Youtube comment exchange ever!

Math puns are the first sine of madness x)

Well, with so much theta, it's hard not to undergo a mental regression. Then again, it's sometimes difficult to differentiate madness from eccentricity. After all, humor is an integral part of life.

Don't drink and derive, or you'll end up in l'hospital. :)

Well, eventually, you'll be released, and you'll just sine on the dotted line.

Yeah, and I guess it'd only take a secant, except I'd need an adult with me to cosine.

I guess you could leave on your own, but that would be an infraction. You an hire a lawyer, but things may get complex.

I could also try to trig them by substituting someone for myself...but I guess that's irrational.

That's acute idea, but sum plans are just the product of imaginary chances of success.

Yeah, escape plans are kinda out of my domain. But at least I have it better than the guy who got arrested for having math weapons of instruction. It's rumored he's a member of the notorious Al-Gebra movement.

Wow, it's reputation reaches over a wide range. At least you didn't get caught with crystal math. I for one am far from bad, so I'll go back to playing Reimann Raving Rabbids.

I know! They derive solutions by means and extremes, and search for absolute values. They use secret code names like 'X' and 'Y' and refer to themselves as 'unknowns,' but we have determined that they belong to a common denominator of the axis of medieval with coordinates in every country. x) Haha, but I suppose we're getting off on a tangent, or should I say, cotangent :)

Well, I suppose that we're approaching a cusp. These puns seem to be reaching their upper limit. I've gotta check on my chicken, but it's on a tall stove. It's in my hypotenuse (high pot in use). I integrated a lot of ingredients, and it looks delicious; I would take a picture, but I can't find the right angle. I suppose this tangent has been quite obtuse.

I'm pretty Newton cooking, though I'm ok at making Rolle's. I've tried making gourmet pasta, but it's a lot of ingredients so I have to integrate them by parts. Sounds like Euclid a good job :D

Don't be so negative. I'm sure you can cook; try adding some lemma juice. If that doesn't work out, you can always find a good dish washer method.

I dunno, I occasionally get mixed sigmas from people. I guess this makes sense, since sometimes I can make radical gourmet foods, and sometimes I Cartesian begin to pour cereal. I'd use the disk washer method, but my roommate and I ran out of dish slope D:

Well, you can go to the store and buy some lambda for dinner while you're at it. Just make sure you have Gauss pads ready for any burns in the kitchen. You can always get take-out, but that's just supplementary to cooking skills. Don't eat sugary stuff, though, or you'll get concavities.

Nu I can't, my mom had a pet lambda and doesn't want me eating it. Yeah, we've had some burns from Boyled water, but thankfully no one's been hurt so bad that I've lost track of their order of operations. Though some Pascal did manage to Burnside of our dorm by cooking bacon.

Sounds like the kind of JERK that rides a Rolle's Royce and never stops to calculate the cosecants of his actions...

I know I was like Omega, he's crazy. He attributed it not to his lack of cooking skills, but to his "failure to open a window in time." His logic seems completely ellipsed by nonsense; I think there are some discontinuities in his brain. But I'm glad his plans were FOIL'd.

Well, there must have been some factors he didn't take into account. I would look him square in the eye and call him dumb. Simpson (since some) safety rules apparently don't apply to him, he might need to be locked up in his own quadrant.


Ah, I'm such a nerd.  :icon_geekdance:
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Beth Andrea

Quote from: dalebert on February 10, 2013, 10:28:27 AM


I"ve not seen him here
I've not seen him there
I've not seen him anywhere
AND YOU CAN'T PROVE I DID AHAHAHAHAHAAA...
...I think for most of us it is a futile effort to try and put this genie back in the bottle once she has tasted freedom...

--read in a Tessa James post 1/16/2017
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V M

Pope Attends Super Bowl
Signals field goal is...


GOOD!!!
The main things to remember in life are Love, Kindness, Understanding and Respect - Always make forward progress

Superficial fanny kissing friends are a dime a dozen, a TRUE FRIEND however is PRICELESS


- V M
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V M

I normally don't make wiener jokes, but...

The main things to remember in life are Love, Kindness, Understanding and Respect - Always make forward progress

Superficial fanny kissing friends are a dime a dozen, a TRUE FRIEND however is PRICELESS


- V M
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