BIG PROBLEM

[Oinoss]

Yeah, I have never ordered anything online before and an in-conspicous box arriving at my door (when I have never got one before) so my parents would get suspicious >> (not trying to condenscend  )

I have also came upon a cache of clothes in my attic - when my moms sister lived in our house (its been there since 1999', I doubt shes ever coming back for it <<)

- Brianna

[julogden]

Hi Brianna,

One of the most difficult things for CD's to learn is that the only one stopping us from buying what we want is our own self. If you want to wear women's clothing, then just get out there and buy what you want, it's that simple. There's nothing wrong with doing that, and your money is as good as anyone else's.

Carol

[Barbara]

As it was already said,we have been there.Almost no store will kick you out.You can even go alone,if you want to avoid a long story with a "girlfriend".I am assuming that you have no other issues except wanting to wear womens clothes,and if no other problems exist.Then there is nothing wrong with you.You should be happy about that.

[PhSensei]

I don't know you, but what I get from your replies is that you are scared.  You have this need/desire but need to keep It hush hush like it doesnt exist.  Believe me I have been there and understand.

But let me tell you that I can see an opportinity i missed out on because i was scared.  I thought my Mom and Dad would flip out on me, disown me etc etc.  Mom offered counseling and my fear (and wrong thinking that what i was doing was wrong) led me to bypass these offers.  i did the hide your head in the sand thing and hope nobody notices.  Looking back I wish I would have confided In Mom and got that help to accept who i am at a much earlier age.  I thought the counseling was to fix me, but she intended it to help me accept and understand.

You need to tell someone and not carry this burdon alone.  Seek the help of a family member you trust.  Let them help you...  don't spend your teens and 20s in hiding afraid of who you are or might be.  I look back on those years and think of how happier I could have been.  How I could have picked a better suited wife and not wasted 10 years with someone who couldnt accept me.  Seek the help now while you are young.... embrace who you are.

Online shopping is great for some things btw, but nothing beats buying that skirt or dress in the store and taking it home and trying It on.... a confidant can help with that. 

[Suzy]

Listen, we have all been there.  The hardest part is this idea that everyone is watching what we buy.  Really, trust me, they are not.  Find yourself a place to keep your things, and get a piece at a time.  Besides thrift stores, dollar stores are good as well.  Do try to avoid "borrowing" clothes from others.  You are so much better off if you have your own.  Just get what you need and enjoy the process.  Otherwise, why do it?  If you look confident, or even bored when you check out, you will not be noticed.   If worse comes to worse, stick a cell phone in your ear and say something like, "How are you feeling now?  Yes I found that, did I get everything you needed?"  Get out on your own as soon as you can, you will be glad.

Best of luck to you!
Kristi

[justmeinoz]

Kristi's idea of the phone is good. Just make sure it is truly OFF because if it rings you will look a right goose!
Do people where you live do Halloween dressing up? Perfect time to stock up on women's things in Thrift shops especially.  No one expects you to spend a fortune on a costume or three they think you will probably return the next week.
I often pick up a pair of undies or tights in the supermarket shopping. You could  always start picking up things for your Mum on the way home from school etc.
Karen.

[Oinoss]

Kristi's idea of the phone is good. Just make sure it is truly OFF because if it rings you will look a right goose!
Do people where you live do Halloween dressing up? Perfect time to stock up on women's things in Thrift shops especially.  No one expects you to spend a fortune on a costume or three they think you will probably return the next week.
I often pick up a pair of undies or tights in the supermarket shopping. You could  always start picking up things for your Mum on the way home from school etc.
Karen.

I like the phone idea and the halloween idea!! I am going to the salvation army tommorow, but another question is raised... How do I hide (possibly) tights, shirts, skirts and other miscellanous femme clothing. I live in a small house soo... <<

[Cindy]

I like the phone idea and the halloween idea!! I am going to the salvation army tommorow, but another question is raised... How do I hide (possibly) tights, shirts, skirts and other miscellanous femme clothing. I live in a small house soo... <<

It doesn't really matter where you hide things, one day you will be caught. How about discussing the situation with your parents?
It might be a lot easier.

Cindy

[Sarah B]

Long long time ago and in a far far away place.  I had many articles of clothing and as luck would have it, I was also involved in clay target shooting.  So one day I had a long box constructed with two pad locks on it.  Everyone just assumed and sometimes they saw me put my guns in the box.  They just figured I was being security conscious, what they did not realise was that I played the old shell game with my clothes and guns.

I still crack up remembering this and to this day I still have the box stored at my mums place.  I don't think I ever told any family members what I really stored in that box.

Kind regards
Sarah B

[Cindy]

Long long time ago and in a far far away place.  I had many articles of clothing and as luck would have it, I was also involved in clay target shooting.  So one day I had a long box constructed with two pad locks on it.  Everyone just assumed and sometimes they saw me put my guns in the box.  They just figured I was being security conscious, what they did not realise was that I played the old shell game with my clothes and guns.

I still crack up remembering this and to this day I still have the box stored at my mums place.  I don't think I ever told any family members what I really stored in that box.

Kind regards
Sarah B

Knowing you a rocket launcher wrapped in Victoria Secrets essential combat undies


Hugs Sis

Cindy

[chloe savannah]

I find most shops are helpful for lingerie I go to Bravissimo they have a fab selection of clothing now for the bigger girl and it does fit, I feel really relaxed talking to the staff and they very helpful.

[Laurie K]

Here is some things that worked for me, when I started to shop for my self.  Tell clerk that you are shopping for someone else that is unable to shop for themselves. Carry an electronic device that has sizes and pertinent information on it. See if there is a cd/tg support group in your area.  They often have designated closed door shopping nights at select womens clothing stores. The support group will also give  you a chance to meet others and may be a shopping partner.  Like has been said here "if you want to dress as a woman you will do what you need to do."  It takes a big set of balls to go into a store to buy womens clothes, but it does get easier as you go. Finally call a store of choice and ask if they have a problem with you shopping at their shop.  I found alot of places wont let you try on stuff, but go equipped with measurments that will give the sales person an idea of what you need.

It is alot easier in this day and age to shop than it was 10 years ago. Most stores dont care, just in  the color of your money. When you are ready, you will

[Sabriel Facrin]

Ah...sorry...I kind of skimmed, so I may have missed if someone said this already... (In a rush, but really want to give advice before I forget to)
Stores will not kick you out for buying women's clothes.  Crossdressing and ->-bleeped-<- is generally considered an obscure thing, it's much more practical to assume that there's someone being shopped for or something.  I think a store typically minds its own business if you want to try it on, too, but I am saying this specific 'I think' with also having a lacking experience of the darker side of society against TGs and non-TG CDs.
The worst thing you can do is be paranoid.  There's no reason to be suspicious unless if you have a suspect.  Just buy them in as casual of a way as anything else, and to feel safe, just have an idea in your head rehearsed. (Simply along the lines that you're shopping for a friend, maybe one that doesn't have a job anymore or something.  You seriously should not need to get into details, and they have no right to ask anyway)

Hope that's helpful ^^

[Genevieve Swann]

I must agree with Cindy. I buy many things at thrift stores. Shopping for yourself is exciting. Knowing you own the clothing builds confidence. Coming out to female friends is a good way to receive clothes also. You may find some are very supportive and they will give you thier unwanted items.

[LanaJohn]

Brianna, I started borrowing clothes for a short time but I came to the realization that I had just as much right to be in these places shopping as genetic girls. I was scared stiff (hypothetically speaking  ) the first time I went to buy clothes. My next step was at the thrift stores, I made a few passes through them just looking at clothing, getting the feel for people's reactions. I got a few looks but no one ever said anything. I think my first actual purchase was at a Walgreens store miles from my house and bought a lipstick and a concealer. I was a little scared but when I got back ut to the car I felt like a million dollars.  That was several years ago and I have gone through some tough times with my true identity, have purged my own stuff several times trying to repress what is going on for the sake of my family and friends (found out who my true friends were). Now I have been to a local Kohl's and bought panties, two local walmarts (one of which my wife works. [She doesnt know about my "relapse" this time]) and a GGfriend and I frequent the mall and critique the womens clothing like there's no one else around. We have a blast!!! Like I said...You have as much right to be there as anyone else.  Once you understand that and get over that initial fear, you'll feel a lot more confident and the purchases will mean a lot more to you.  Don't worry about what other shoppers do...most will leave you alone.  If you can go in the store believing you are Brianna, you will feel more comfortable as well.  Good luck and hope to hear back.  Hugs, Lana B.

[Oinoss]

Brianna, I started borrowing clothes for a short time but I came to the realization that I had just as much right to be in these places shopping as genetic girls. I was scared stiff (hypothetically speaking  ) the first time I went to buy clothes. My next step was at the thrift stores, I made a few passes through them just looking at clothing, getting the feel for people's reactions. I got a few looks but no one ever said anything. I think my first actual purchase was at a Walgreens store miles from my house and bought a lipstick and a concealer. I was a little scared but when I got back ut to the car I felt like a million dollars.  That was several years ago and I have gone through some tough times with my true identity, have purged my own stuff several times trying to repress what is going on for the sake of my family and friends (found out who my true friends were). Now I have been to a local Kohl's and bought panties, two local walmarts (one of which my wife works. [She doesnt know about my "relapse" this time]) and a GGfriend and I frequent the mall and critique the womens clothing like there's no one else around. We have a blast!!! Like I said...You have as much right to be there as anyone else.  Once you understand that and get over that initial fear, you'll feel a lot more confident and the purchases will mean a lot more to you.  Don't worry about what other shoppers do...most will leave you alone.  If you can go in the store believing you are Brianna, you will feel more comfortable as well.  Good luck and hope to hear back.  Hugs, Lana B.

I could do that... Or just waltz into the dollar store say we're doing a production of Rocky Horror Picture Show for Drama class and that we need a few bras and other items (grabs handful of whatever can, while in the manliess clothes in my wardrobe) I'll be on my day!

(Shoves into backpack runs home giddy)

EDIT: Probably pay when no one is at the counter besides the check-out lady, I hate being stared at like a freak >>

[Kimberley]

I was much much older than you when I first went out clothes shopping on my own. As others have said, the fear is more in our mind of eyes being upon us. The stores want a sale especially in these difficult economic times. What I did first was just walk around the ladies wear area of the large department stores looking to see where the styles where that I liked. Then I went back a week later and started browsing the racks closer to closing time as less people were around and then I made my purchase. Now in drab I can browse the racks and I also go into ladies stores and browse the racks like all the other ladies. You know what, no one has ever looked at me. If they did I didn't see it so it doesn't matter to me.

You will slowly build the courage, If you have a gg friend that you have come out to then you can go shopping with her. I wish you luck. 

[Genevieve Swann]

Opinion. Buy yor own. As mentioned, thirft stores are best. There seems to be a great of satisfaction in shopping and knowing  your clothing IS yours alone.

[I_am_Toni_Lynn]

Don't be afraid, Brianna! The folks in the stores don't really care what gender you are -- your loonies and toonies are all that matters

No announcement over the loudspeaker of 'Attention everyone! Crossdresser in the lingerie department!' will be made. Relax. You have every right to be there. Stand proud, have confidence, and enjoy the experience.

I take it that you are in BC. Ok -- I realise that La Senza may be not only tempting but scary. Start easy. Go to places like The Bargain! Shop, Giant Tiger, Value Village, or Liquidation World. Value Village is great for all sorts of outerwear like dresses and skirts and dirt cheap.

I've been buying my own clothes since I was 13 -- (that's about a century ago! ), and guess what -- I survived.

Enjoy this wonderful facet of your life, and celebrate the girl within you!

Huggles

Toni-Lynn

[eshaver]

NO

It is her clothing. Go out and buy your own. Thrift shops, etc are good places to start. Get use to the real world. You stand on you own feet, Stealing another persons clothing is immoral, even if you consider it being borrowing. Unless of course you ask her. And it is time that you considered that with your mother.

Sorry to sound unsympathetic but it's time to face your issues and not hide from them.

Cindy

Cindy, GOOD CALL......................... ellen