Glioblastoma Multi-form Grade 3, malignant. rapid growing, non-curable, they are going to try, but the doc said that the goal isnt to cure the cancer, but to remove as much as surgically possible, then 2-3- weeks after surgery i get to lose my hair from chemotherapy/radiation. He said the gaol with that is to kill as many tumor cells as possible and make the remaining cancer cells go to sleep.
hes talking about thursday 6:30am.
there are new fears now. I mean initially the fear was engendered from thoughts of death. We have all ran across those, in all walks of life that are bias against gay/trans, what if they dont really try, you know,,,
I have been thinking about death a lot lately. My mom died when i was 15, i really don't care about her though, she was an evil, cruel woman. My father killed himself a month or so after i turned 18. He had a lot of medical problems. When i was 8, he was diagnosed with something terminal, told he had 6 months to live at the most. The next 10 years, yes 10 years my dad continued to live if u can call it that. Many trips to the emergency room then on to ICU (intensive care unit) surgery after surgery, tubes coming out of evrry hole he had and some out of man made ones, tracheotomy (tube in throat for oxygen) an oxygen machine at home and several tanks for portable use. I watched my father live in such intense pain. The last picture of him, god you could just see this man in so much pain...it took me many years to realize that he waited until i turned 18, when his parental responsibility was complete to end his pain.... I miss him soooo much. He never complained, never took it out on those around him, so noble! Some people become bitter when dying, others don't. My dad was one of a kind. Ill roll with what the doc wants, but i am going to fill out a DNR (do not resuscitate). I am not so fearful of death now, just becoming a vegetable
