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Cindy James (I'm OK)

Started by Cindy, April 10, 2011, 04:17:36 AM

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Cindy

I thought I would post this here for the fantastic number of friends who I have been so lucky to have. I know that I fail to keep my correspondence up but I will pm my regulars.

As you know my wife is very weak. Today was the first time she requested to stay in bed at the nursing home rather than come home. She knew who I was. And was happy to see me. She could not move either arm and when I brought a cup of tea she had problems drinking through a straw, she was too weak to suck. I stayed with her for about three hours, but she slipped in and out of sleep. he doesn't hold a conversation in even the most basic way. I showed her a picture of a baby elephant falling into a pond at Melbourne zoo and she enjoyed that.

I know what is coming and in some ways I look forward to it.

I spent hours walking up and down a rain drenched beach.  We used to do that together with our dogs.

Couldn't settle.

I can't call her, she cannot answer the phone anymore.


Sorry.

Cindy
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annette

Dear Cindy

I'm sorry to read about that things are'nt good.
It's a struggle to care about someone you love and it still going worse.
I know about memories, the good memories will hurt for the most.

I wish you all the strenght you may need.

hugs and kisses

Annette
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vanna

really bigg hug Cindy

i have followed you story over the years i been here mostly quiet but you are a beautiful and kind person, i truly hope that you are okay. I feel very upset for you wife sake too, no one asks for this to happen and we can only try live our lives and make the best of bad situations.

it is a lesson i have learnt many times too.

whatever happens, memories stay with you and the places that made them and they are what will always bring a smile to you lips
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Amazon D

It sounds like she may be free soon. She will then be able to be with you as her spirit hovers over without the shell burdensom her. I pray it happens sooner than later for both of you. I am sure she wishes to pass asap. Soon you will be again walking the beach but only one pair of footprints will be seen but you will know otherwise and smile.
hugs Danielle /  Danie
I'm an Amazon womyn + very butch + respecting MWMF since 1999 unless invited. + I AM A HIPPIE

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Jennifer

Many hugs to you Cindy.

Jennifer
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Devlyn

Hi Cindy, my thoughts are with you, wish I could help. Hugs, Tracey
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spacial

Dear Cindy.

Thank you so much for sharing this. I so wish I could think of something to say, just to make any impression.

Dearest Cindy, each stage of our lives leads to new experience. Your lovely wife will leave her body soon, but she is always with you and part of what you are.

As I'm positive, in so many other areas, you will always have us. You have given so much.
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Sarah B

Hi Cindy

My thoughts are with you and your wife.

Love and hugs
Sarah B
Be who you want to be.
Sarah's Story
Feb 1989 Living my life as Sarah.
Feb 1989 Legally changed my name.
Mar 1989 Started hormones.
May 1990 Three surgery letters.
Feb 1991 Surgery.
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Just Shelly

Cindy

I don't know what I could possibly say to make things seem right.

Cry, laugh or get mad just let your emotions take their course.

Will be thinking of you.

Shelly
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AmySmiles

Cindy,

I'm so sorry to hear about this and I could not help but cry reading your post.  There are so many similarities between what you described and my grandmother, who passed away last year.  Do what you need to find peace for now, at least you can take comfort that soon she won't be in pain anymore.

Hugs,
Amy
:icon_hug:
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Janet_Girl

Sis,

I have been think of you and your bride.  She is slow slipping away, and I know how it hurts.  Even now , I am tearing up.  We are here when you needs us.

Give her a hug and a kiss from all of us.

:icon_hug:
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Melody Maia

Add me to the tearing up group. I am so sorry Cindy. Next month will be a year since my dad passed. At the end his life was a constant torture of Parkinson's attacks and heart issues that robbed him of the ability to do the things he wanted to do. When he passed, my mom was relieved that his suffering was over. I've said this before on the group, but his passing and the need it gave me to finally come out as me, I consider his final gift to me. A year later, my life is so radically different, but I know now I am on the path to happiness. I hope you can find similar peace.
and i know that i'm never alone
and i know that my heart is my home
Every missing piece of me
I can find in a melody



O
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V M

Hugs dear sister

You know you are always in my thoughts

- Virginia
The main things to remember in life are Love, Kindness, Understanding and Respect - Always make forward progress

Superficial fanny kissing friends are a dime a dozen, a TRUE FRIEND however is PRICELESS


- V M
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bethw

Add me to the list Cindy. Never say you're sorry for your feelings. Just know that you are loved here and if I was there I'd be holding you and giving you a big hug.
Your friend
Beth
" To live is to dance. To dance is to live." Snoopy (aka Charles Shultz)
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FairyGirl

Oh dear Cindy I'm so sorry to hear this. I can imagine all the emotions you must be feeling now. Please stay strong and know that you are loved by many. My thoughts are with you in this difficult time. If you ever would like to talk, please feel free to call me. *lots of hugs*

Girls rule, boys drool.
If I keep a green bough in my heart, then the singing bird will come.
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xAndrewx

I wish I had the right words but you both are in my prayers  :icon_hug:

Arch

Words fail me...but my thoughts are with you.
"The hammer is my penis." --Captain Hammer

"When all you have is a hammer . . ." --Anonymous carpenter
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Jacquelyn

Cindy-

I know how difficult it is to lose a loved one, and how especially difficult it can be when the process is so prolonged; however, I hope that you can find solace in knowing that what you and Rebecca shared was beautiful and unique, and no one will ever be able to take those memories and experiences away from you.

Your compassion, strength, and perseverance are admirable to say the least. You are one of the most loving and genuine people that I have encountered in my entire life, and I am sending nothing but positive thoughts and love your way.

I am sorry I have been so distant, but know that you are always in my thoughts. Keep strong, sister.

Hugs and Love,
Jackie
"Love is in fact so unnatural a phenomenon that it can scarcely repeat itself, the soul being unable to become virgin again and not having energy enough to cast itself out again into the ocean of another."

~James Joyce
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JasonG86

hello Cindy,

I just recently joined this site and stumbled across your post. I thought I would let you know that I am sending prayers for strength and comfort your way. For both you and your wife.  I wish I had words to make it better but I simply do not. I am sorry for your pain and struggle. I pray God sends angels to comfort your wife and to carry  you when you feel like you can't go on any longer.

~Jayson~
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rejennyrated

Cindy

Thank you for your message and this post. I am so sorry that you are having to face this now. I can only hope that this last phase of the ordeal that you and Rebecca have been going through will be short and peaceful.

As you know we are finally moving this week and the phone is probably going to be cut off for a couple of days so please forgive us if you ring us and we cant answer. I'll try to ring you later in the week.

Take care

Jenny (& Alison) x.
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