Alright, so, I've been practicing as a Wiccan/Neo-Pagan for roughly five years now. I've done plenty of reading and studying. I've listened to my heart and to the energies of Gaia, the Goddess and the God; to what they had to tell me. In time, I performed my first ritual and wore a pentagram. As time passed, I still studied and eventually put up my own altar. I've done several rituals and performed many, many readings. I've respected Mother Earth and listened to the Elements.
But. I am a solitary practitioner. I've never joined a coven and never had much interest to do so. And for me, I do not feel it is necessary to "practice", if you will, every day. So I do not say a chant morning and night to the Moon and the Sun, I do not divine every day, and I do not place offerings.
I have been comfortable with this way of life because I know myself as a lover, not a fighter. I keep in mind that I shall harm none, and that I must always hold an open mind. I have lived and learned from karma. In growing up, I have always been a neutral spirit. I take no sides and fight with none. Though I may feel anger, I don't even know how to express it. I don't even understand those who can be angry for petty things or be so hateful. In fact, I find negative energies make me sick. This isn't to say I'm perfect. I know I've made mistakes but I do the best I can to learn from them, to make up for them and to do the best that I can.
I have found comfort in being surrounded by Gaia, in embracing her spirit. And I have found great sadness in her continued destruction. I hold no grudge against mankind but I feel hurt and depressed by the way we live, the things we've done. All the prosecution, the hate, the war, all of it. I wish there were a way for me to even just do something, anything, to reset it all and to restore it all. But that cannot be done. So I live through today, for the sake of tomorrow. I do the best I can.
I've always a had a wish. And I know to some, it's rather naive but it's what I wish for. If I could, I would take all the world's peoples' problems, sadness, issues and place them on my shoulders. Why? Because I want everyone to be happy. I live for people's happiness.
And in all of this, though I grow in confidence within myself. I have to wonder. Am I doing this right? Is there one way of doing it? Should I be doing something else? I've always believed in the Wiccan Rede and the philosophies of ancient religion and paganism. And that, there is not one exact way of practicing it but a multitude and as long as you can adhere to those guidelines and embrace it wholly, then it was how you felt most comfortable in practicing. And though I believe this now, a small part of me is wondering if I am doing something wrong?
I'm just looking for some non-negative/non-lecturing advice. Some guidance maybe or even some tips. As much as or as little as you'd like to say.
Thanks!
Thomas
Young Witch
