Simply had it with my friend...

[V M]

Sounds like she is rather frustrated with other things and using you for a vent... Sorry she is behaving so immaturely... I'd get on with other things but keep an open heart for when she gets over herself and decides to be a friend again

[Cindy]

Sad to hear Zoe. Unfortunately people respond to stress in many different ways. Some find a way to cope, others don't.
I think she isn't coping and certainly isn't being the friend you need at the moment.

Funny thing is that there are people who needed my support and they were not ''friends' but people here who needed help.

I managed to get up at all hours to phone and help them.

And I'm here for you too.

Hugs

Cindy

[Hikari]

Damn, I am sorry zoe, that sounds like a bit of a nightmare. I wonder though, do you think she could be on drugs? I have had friends start to act erratic and snappy and I went my own way only to later find out that they had started using. I hope that isn't what happened, I have lost too many friends and family to an OD.

Basically though, if she is only giving you negativity, I guess it is time to move on, but if you are anything like me I find it really hard to give up on people, I try to see the good in them even when they act bad. Still protecting your own feelings is probably the prudent thing to do.

[Susan Baum]

Zoe, dear heart, I hope you heed your own advice. 

And so now I've stayed up so she can call me.  In five minutes, I'm telling her that I don't want her to call me again.  Or text.  Or anything.  I'm done with her hurting me...

And to Cindy's comment I think she isn't coping and certainly isn't being the friend you need at the moment. may I add an "Amen"? 

I don't think there is a caring person on earth who would not do everything within their power to help a friend or loved one in need - yet how far can one go when the give and take of a relationship becomes give, give, give with no reciprocity.  As I read this thread, I soon came to the realization your "friend" is the one who is being immature, manipulative and selfish. 

You have done averything you could possibly do - almost to the point of cloying - but there can come a time when one has no choice but to step back and take a break - especially if every contact causes you more pain. 

Those who have followed you here know your inner strengths and I dare say none would think you deserve to be her personal bath mat...  You need to take care of Zoe first. 

Susan

[Lee]

And to Cindy's comment I think she isn't coping and certainly isn't being the friend you need at the moment. may I add an "Amen"? 

This.  It seems like she's not even being a negative friend; she's not being a friend at all.  There's no reason why you should have to put up with being treated like that.  It sounds like she could really use someone to talk to, but I'm guessing you don't get paid enough to be a therapist or a human punching bag. 
I hope she can get herself to a better place emotionally. 

[JungianZoe]

Thank you all so much for your continuing words of support in this wild thread... it means the whole world to me!

The situation is just strange.  Hikari, I'm just like you: I can't give up on people.  Even my parents, who abused me for so many years, I didn't give up on them until it was clear that they had given up on me.  And maybe not even then.  I still tried to call my dad on Father's Day, left a message wishing him well, knowing they wouldn't pick up or call me back.  I was right, and it hurts like hell.  Why did I hurt myself by trying?

So last night was weird.  I told my friend I didn't want to be friends and she hung up like I knew she would.  Then she called me back and screamed in my ear for ten straight minutes while I yelled at her to stop because of how much she was hurting me.  She told me she didn't care about anyone right now, not her mom, not her husband, not her only other friend (who talks to her about once every six months at this point), and not me either.  She said that whatever she has going on right now, she feels like she's a "bowl of aggression" and hatred and has even lost the ability to cry.  Her head was hurting worse than ever before in her life and despite not being sick, she had a 102 temperature.

When I finally got her to calm down and stop screaming without taking a breath, I told her that she was wrong when she said I didn't care.  I'm more convinced than ever that she has the start of MS, and meds will level her out.  I also told her that one of my best friends of 17 years has MS and I was upset thinking that I'd watch another friend suffer through it.  In return, she finally told me why she stopped communicating with anyone this past week: it wasn't because of grad school so much, but because she's been screaming at every single person in her entire life (even strangers) and she wanted to save me from that.  She screamed at her mom when her mom called yesterday, and she calls her mom the most important person in her life.

Three times during the conversation, she stopped in the middle of what she was saying, completely forgot what she wanted to say, and also forgot what she'd just said.  She also tried to remember a single event from the day and couldn't remember anything fully.  Whatever is happening with her is very scary, but she has the MRI this coming Tuesday and finds out the results next Thursday.

In the meantime, I'm giving her the space that she needs, because she wants to seal herself away from everyone right now.  From what I heard last night, I completely understand why.

And for the record, "bad friend" means something different in Russian than in English... it's not great, but it's not an insult either.  Still, I told her that regardless of what it means in Russian, I don't speak Russian and the term hurt me very badly.  She promised to stop saying it to me.

So now it's a waiting game.  I didn't permanently sever contact, but I'm not contacting her again until she feels she can communicate.  We both agreed to this.