If we think about it and are really honest with ourselves, this really isn't that surprising.
For us, it's the most important thing in the world. It is natural that, for us, it becomes both a burning issue and a deeply personal one.
Those of us, luckey enough to have anyone to talk to aboit it, will have endlessly analysed it and thought about things from so many different perspectives.
Yet we all know that, most people, the vast majority, are not like us. Our situation is, happily, quite rare. We know that many simply do not understand and are incapable.
Then we meet someone who really wants to talk about ti. They say they are interested, that they have thought about it, that they would like a friendly chat.
At this point, most of us, will freeze. Someone looking for amunition for their next belly laugh with their friends. Someone looking for a rise, a thrill, from a '->-bleeped-<- type'.
For us, who have dealt with this on such a personal and intimate level, for so long, these seemingly positive enquiries appear to be personal probing. They seem to be asking us things which they wouldn't like someone asking about them.
I'm reminded of a black woman I heard many years ago, in the 60s who talked about people who wanted to know how a black woman did it. Is it the same? What's it like doing it to a black woman? I am also reminded of a severely disabled man who was married to a severely disabled woman. They had been provided with married accommodation as they both needed a lot of support, though only occasionally. This man complained about the same issues. I was a nurse and he didn't like the idea of me being in their bedroom.
I really don't think we should take people, who ask such questions on face value. There is a good chance they are just looking for some information to talk about to their friends. Equally, they are looking for a rise. Frankly, it isn't any of their business.
But I will suggest that, sometimes we do need to remember that we are a very small minority. That perhaps we and others in our situation, might get more support from the community at large, with some positive, well considered information.
Affirming that we are indeed rational. That our private lives are our own. That we are seeking to live as we were born. That this is something we just need to do.
How do others feel about this? I do think this is an enormously important issue for us all.
