The last few people who expressed interest in me have done a very good job at making me feel like a novelty, I mean that their interest was more of an experience they wanted to try but not anything they could commit to. has anyone else come across this? How did you deal with it? how do you avoid the people who just want to "try it out"?

Hold your head up high, and let them know that you are a REAL PERSON and not a fantasy that they have read about in the wrong places.  There are some advantages to be gained by NOT letting on that you are something to be curious about. I am not a big advocate of "stealth" transitioning, but don't make your transition be the focal point of starting a relationship.   Since you are on hormones, you should be able to start letting yourself go to environments that are NOT Trans Specific.  I had to learn that it was OK for me as transsexual to go into mainline areas, and did not have to restrict myself to "->-bleeped-<- Safehouse" locations.  (I apologize to any who take offense at that last description, but I "grew up" on the wrong side of those tracks.)   

Vicky,
funny as ever, but well said. Heehee.

Jane Alice,
when on early hormones we are bit like "loose cannon on deck". Can feel GREAT but can get a bit destructive rolling about in all new found freedom.
So ---- watch out not falling over board, honey :-)
Best,
Axel

If we think about it and are really honest with ourselves, this really isn't that surprising.

For us, it's the most important thing in the world. It is natural that, for us, it becomes both a burning issue and a deeply personal one.

Those of us, luckey enough to have anyone to talk to aboit it, will have endlessly analysed it and thought about things from so many different perspectives.

Yet we all know that, most people, the vast majority, are not like us. Our situation is, happily, quite rare. We know that many simply do not understand and are incapable.

Then we meet someone who really wants to talk about ti. They say they are interested, that they have thought about it, that they would like a friendly chat.

At this point, most of us, will freeze. Someone looking for amunition for their next belly laugh with their friends. Someone looking for a rise, a thrill, from a '->-bleeped-<- type'.

For us, who have dealt with this on such a personal and intimate level, for so long, these seemingly positive enquiries appear to be personal probing. They seem to be asking us things which they wouldn't like someone asking about them.

I'm reminded of a black woman I heard many years ago, in the 60s who talked about people who wanted to know how a black woman did it. Is it the same? What's it like doing it to a black woman? I am also reminded of a severely disabled man who was married to a severely disabled woman. They had been provided with married accommodation as they both needed a lot of support, though only occasionally. This man complained about the same issues. I was a nurse and he didn't like the idea of me being in their bedroom. 

I really don't think we should take people, who ask such questions on face value. There is a good chance they are just looking for some information to talk about to their friends. Equally, they are looking for a rise. Frankly, it isn't any of their business.

But I will suggest that, sometimes we do need to remember that we are a very small minority. That perhaps we and others in our situation, might get more support from the community at large, with some positive, well considered information.

Affirming that we are indeed rational. That our private lives are our own. That we are seeking to live as we were born. That this is something we just need to do.

How do others feel about this? I do think this is an enormously important issue for us all.

I am NOT a novelty.  If somebody has interest in me because I'm trans and that is the only interest they have, they can hit the door.

Set your standards very high!  And don't say yes to anything because you are lonely, tired, afraid, or simply think nobody will ever want you. If you aren't finding the right people, look in other places.  You are not a novelty either! 

For a while, I had a whole bunch of curiosity seekers who wanted to get together.  They were creepy to say the least.  One use to call and ask me to dress him like a girl.  Above all - Keep your self respect and self worth. 

Wow- maybe too direct!  Sorry!

Quote from: sallypost on May 31, 2011, 10:52:06 AM
I am NOT a novelty.  If somebody has interest in me because I'm trans and that is the only interest they have, they can hit the door.

Set your standards very high!  And don't say yes to anything because you are lonely, tired, afraid, or simply think nobody will ever want you. If you aren't finding the right people, look in other places.  You are not a novelty either! 

For a while, I had a whole bunch of curiosity seekers who wanted to get together.  They were creepy to say the least.  One use to call and ask me to dress him like a girl.  Above all - Keep your self respect and self worth. 

Wow- maybe too direct!  Sorry!

Thank you so much, I started tearing up right around "lonely, tired, afraid..." I think you hit the nail on the head. It's a little tricky for me because I they are not very obvious.