So yeah what the title says, what's your opinion/ view? Why is it such a difference whether they are attracted to our penis or our vulva? ??? Discuss
I posted this on another thread after reading this reply
Quote from: JenJen2011 on November 18, 2011, 10:43:25 AM
Being attracted to our dicks is a major turn off for many so that's why it's a problem.
Wow, lets have SRS and have them being attracted to our pussys! Wow that's such a difference! ::) Men are just attracted to what's in between our legs whether we are CIS or Trans period! :o , yeah I said it! 8) They just want to get laid! Sorry but I hear it from both sides(cis and trans) all the time geez and its just stupid.
->-bleeped-<-s, oh no ->-bleeped-<-s, there's trans ->-bleeped-<-s, gay ->-bleeped-<-s, blonde ->-bleeped-<-s, brunette ->-bleeped-<-s,redhead ->-bleeped-<-s, virgin ->-bleeped-<-s, chubby ->-bleeped-<-s, etc etc.. Men are ->-bleeped-<-s period so are women :o ,old ->-bleeped-<-, young ->-bleeped-<-, hung ->-bleeped-<-, get my drift. People chase their preferences, this includes transpeople. I know I do!
Not trying to get smitted or cause problems! This topic not intended to offend anyone, sorry if I did. I just want to see the various opinions and views on this. :angel:
Anyways go on discuss!
I see it as no different than someone liking a certain hair color, or even a certain kind of personality. You can't fault people for their preferences.
I don't totally understand what you're asking, so I'll do my best to answer what I believe you are.
For me, I am highly dysphoric about my genitals. I would not even think of attempting to date a guy prior to SRS, as I don't feel whole yet. Therefore, if a guy showed interest in me now (pre-SRS) and was not concerned with (or even worse was attracted to) my genitals, I'd feel major dysphoria and highly uncomfortable as that's not a part of me I want nor want attention drawn to in its current orientation.
I have to agree with this idea.
The main reason I'm facing a divorce is because of what's between my legs now is something that will change. My soon-to-be-ex-wife is only interested in anatomic males. I'm a male-bodied woman (for now). While I have the necessary tool, it's ability to function has been compromised by HRT. She's not attracted to that. It sucks, but it is what it is.
This is one of the ways that sexual orientation works: what is the body? What parts does it have? I understand this at a rational level.
But at an emotional level, I have to ask, "Why does my anatomy determine whether or not I'm worthy of being loved."
I don't really have a problem with men chasing pre/non-ops. It's not inherently wrong, obviously. The problem is, of course, that that is the last thing in the world I would want to be appreciated for. I also have a problem with the attitude so many ->-bleeped-<-s seem to have... fetishization, shame, insisting on secrecy, etc. Total mess. I'd actually prefer a partner who shares my dislike or at leasts understands and respects the fact I don't like my anatomy.
Quote from: Shades O'Grey on November 20, 2011, 03:40:44 PM
This is one of the ways that sexual orientation works: what is the body? What parts does it have? I understand this at a rational level.
But at an emotional level, I have to ask, "Why does my anatomy determine whether or not I'm worthy of being loved."
I just don't understand the emphasis people place on their partner's physical body. Having a penis or a vagina to me is like the difference between having an innie or outie belly button. If the personality is right, why let something so minor get in the way of love?
They shouldn't care what's in between your legs if you're good, and you don't mind "other acts." ;)
Quote from: Lily on November 20, 2011, 04:03:22 PM
If the personality is right, why let something so minor get in the way of love?
It shouldn't get in the way of love, however,
making love is the subject of my point of view (above).
There is also the matter of reproduction.
Quote from: Lily on November 20, 2011, 04:03:22 PM
I just don't understand the emphasis people place on their partner's physical body. Having a penis or a vagina to me is like the difference between having an innie or outie belly button. If the personality is right, why let something so minor get in the way of love?
Precisely.
Quote from: stldrmgrl on November 20, 2011, 04:05:49 PM
It shouldn't get in the way of love, however, making love is the subject of my point of view (above).
There are multiple ways to make love. Genital-genital contact is only one way, although it does seem to be the primary way. I'd been in situations in the past where I had made love with someone and we didn't actually have sex.
But to reiterate, I understand how sexual orientation works at an intellectual level But at an emotional level, monosexuality seems shallow* to me.
*
Please understand that this comment is coming from an emotional, irrational point of view. Though I understand it could be understood to be insulting, it is not my intention. Please forgive me if any of you find the "shallow" comment to be offensive.
Quote from: Shades O'Grey on November 20, 2011, 04:21:07 PM
Precisely.
There are multiple ways to make love. Genital-genital contact is only one way, although it does seem to be the primary way. I'd been in situations in the past where I had made love with someone and we didn't actually have sex.
But to reiterate, I understand how sexual orientation works at an intellectual level But at an emotional level, monosexuality seems shallow* to me.
* Please understand that this comment is coming from an emotional, irrational point of view. Though I understand it could be understood to be insulting, it is not my intention. Please forgive me if any of you find the "shallow" comment to be offensive.
No worries, you are sharing your point of view and opinions as are we all.
Despite the fact there are other ways of making love aside from genital to genital, it usually leads to that point anyway (and I'd want it to post-SRS). I don't know why, I just cannot engage in anything sexual in nature pre-SRS...I don't feel comfortable. But enough about me, moving along...
/* BEGIN RATIONAL MODE */
True, making love often leads to the naughty bits. That's neither good or bad. It's just a thing.
And, it's the way people work. That's why (I think) it's called "sexual orientation" and "sexual preference." People are often attracted to what's between another person's legs. This is true of ->-bleeped-<-s and non-->-bleeped-<-s.
So why is a person who is sexually attracted to transpersons vilified? A person who is attracted to natal women or men is still attracted to to body. And if the personal ads I've read are to be believed, ->-bleeped-<-s chase what they desire.
/* END RATIONAL MODE */
I've been confused since I got here about why we feel free to land anywhere we want on the spectrum, but if someone else does it, they're a dirty ->-bleeped-<-.
Quote from: Shades O'Grey on November 20, 2011, 04:49:24 PM
So why is a person who is sexually attracted to transpersons vilified? A person who is attracted to natal women or men is still attracted to to body. And if the personal ads I've read are to be believed, ->-bleeped-<-s chase what they desire.
If a man wants a penis. He just be gay... Not go for a transsexual. My boyfriend plays with my penis all the time and between that and his homophobia, I am dating an old gay man. It bothers the ->-bleeped-<- out of me. I could get a younger bi-gay man who is secure in himself. But after Dustin passed, I have no interest in them.
There is a definite taboo/perverse aspect to being trans. I know it took me a long time to get over that.... The surgery adds a whole level of "wtf?" to some people who are trying to understand that. I can't tell you how many of my gay friends I've lost because I gave up being a "sexy top" to be a girl. They are fine with drag queens, etc....
Quote from: Eve87 on November 20, 2011, 03:57:03 PM
The problem is, of course, that that is the last thing in the world I would want to be appreciated for.
I understand this. I am female and I desire to be treated as such. If a person were to want to be with me because of being trans, I subconsciously feel labeled as "trans" by that person rather than "female". This subconscious assumed label then implies that the person is also desiring of certain "male" attributes, perhaps, unintentionally invalidating a complete feeling of being female. Though, this borderlines living stealth, I know, but being and acceptance of being trans in comparison to identifying as trans, to me, are two different things. Thus, while I personally accept and am proud to say I'm trans, I do not identify as trans, I identify as female. I hope this in some way makes sense...
Quote from: Lily on November 20, 2011, 04:03:22 PM
I just don't understand the emphasis people place on their partner's physical body. Having a penis or a vagina to me is like the difference between having an innie or outie belly button. If the personality is right, why let something so minor get in the way of love?
Because that's you. Sex is not a minor thing to me. I like girls. I like vaginas. I want a partner to come equipped with both that identity, and that physicality. And to be more clear, I am not attracted to all girls or all bodies, just some. Girls with penises are outside that some, as well as a whole host of other girls, and so far every guy I've ever met. So don't worry, I'm no more disinterested in you than I am in most other people.
Quote from: Shades O'Grey on November 20, 2011, 04:21:07 PM
But to reiterate, I understand how sexual orientation works at an intellectual level But at an emotional level, monosexuality seems shallow* to me.
Sexuality is shallow. Are you attracted to every person you've ever met? No? Congrats, you are just as shallow as me. And bisexuals leave their partners who transition too, because sometimes they are not attracted to the same things in a bloke and a girl. My ex is bi and transition terminated our relationship.
Which brings us to the original topic. Well, there are a couple of reasons why being with a ->-bleeped-<- is problematic. If they are specifically into your pre-operative part, then it can be an issue if you are very dysphoric about it, obviously. But the main thing is, they have to want more than just that. If that's the only thing about you they are interested in, you are an object of a fetish and nothing more - which is okay if you are okay with that, but some folks find that icky and/or invalidating as a person.
I think for me, it doesn't really matter why someone's into me, as long as they can understand my feelings and take them into consideration. I am a woman and want to be treated as such, and I will also have SRS at some point.
So with that I don't think a relationship with someone who would treat me as a guy that looks like a woman, or just likes me because I have a penis wouldn't work out. It just wouldn't ... however if we meet because of one of these reasons, but deeper feelings bloom from it ... why not?
Quote from: Shades O'Grey on November 20, 2011, 04:21:07 PM
There are multiple ways to make love. Genital-genital contact is only one way, although it does seem to be the primary way. I'd been in situations in the past where I had made love with someone and we didn't actually have sex.
One thing I have seen is that it is also about the sharing, especially with women. If either you aren't comfortable with them touching you in certain ways or they aren't conformable touching you certain ways, then it limits the sharing. Generally I keep my panties on to avoid a dysphoric attack. Any direct contact tends to make me feel wrong fairly quickly. So she focuses on my breasts and very rarely can I allow even gentle pressure and stroking on the tucked part. I have noticed and she has even told me that sometimes she feels she is being selfish and wishes she could share the release with me as well. Even when I reassure her that I enjoy what I am doing for her pleasure and can almost reach the peak from that alone, she isn't satisfied that I am satisfied.
Now imagine that you are the partner and you are uncomfortable with touching breasts or any other part of you partner's body. If you can't touch them then how can you share the pleasure? How is it not a one sided exchange. Even if you don't mind that, can they accept the imbalance? It puts them in the weird place where they feel they should do something, but also feel they shouldn't do anything. No one likes a bout of confusion in the middle of a sacred and loving moment (just as you have when you are treated as your birth gender at that moment of openness).
In other words can both of you respect the boundaries of the other and can both feel they are equally participated.
Quote from: Jeneva on November 20, 2011, 06:30:11 PM
In other words can both of you respect the boundaries of the other and can both feel they are equally participated.
I guess that's where communication comes into play. What boundaries could one and one's partner not cross? To paraphrase Sarah7, sexuality
can be shallow. But the emotional connection could help with that, if such a connection exists. It would be stressful, yes. And the stress of trying to balance that connection against the boundaries of the bodies is one of the main reasons for my divorce.
I don't think it's easy. But, I think it might be possible.
The problem with ->-bleeped-<- ->-bleeped-<-s is that they are not into men or women but they are into the discrepancy between your upper and your lower body.
They look up and see woman with breasts and feminine face. They look down and see male parts.
I find this similar to blond ->-bleeped-<-s or people of color or what ever ->-bleeped-<-s. They are not into you because of WHO you are but because of WHAT you are.
I dated in the past people of different race, different levels of femininity/masculinity body shape or size. I was attracted to these people for who they were and not because of what they were. I know people who date only Asians or only African Americans. I find that almost equally disturbing with people who'd date only Transsexuals.
One could argue some people love Asian or African American, southern or East Coast culture. But to my knowledge there is no Transsexual culture but only this physical discrepancy between what they see in your face and between your legs.
Now if someone found me interesting or attractive because of some of my masculine/feminine attributes i.e. muscular body or attitude that would be fine with me. As long as they are not hoping to find a penis in my pants but rather are able to handle it's presence or the fact that it will be replaced by vagina one day I am fine.
Quote from: envie on November 20, 2011, 06:50:28 PM
The problem with ->-bleeped-<- ->-bleeped-<-s is that they are not into men or women but they are into the discrepancy between your upper and your lower body.
They look up and see woman with breasts and feminine face. They look down and see male parts.
I find this similar to blond ->-bleeped-<-s or people of color or what ever ->-bleeped-<-s. They are not into you because of WHO you are but because of WHAT you are.
I dated in the past people of different race, different levels of femininity/masculinity body shape or size. I was attracted to these people for who they were and not because of what they were. I know people who date only Asians or only African Americans. I find that almost equally disturbing with people who'd date only Transsexuals.
One could argue some people love Asian or African American, southern or East Coast culture. But to my knowledge there is no Transsexual culture but only this physical discrepancy between what they see in your face and between your legs.
Now if someone found me interesting or attractive because of some of my masculine/feminine attributes i.e. muscular body or attitude that would be fine with me. As long as they are not hoping to find a penis in my pants but rather are able to handle it's presence or the fact that it will be replaced by vagina one day I am fine.
Couldn't you say the same about anyone who isn't bi? The majority of people either ONLY date men or ONLY date women.
How is someone who likes physical discrepancy different from someone who likes physical conformity? If it's weird for a guy to only like transgirls, shouldn't it be equally weird if he only likes cisgirls, or is that acceptable because it's "normal?"
The difference is as I already mentioned between someone being attracted to you for who and not what you are.
There is of course no clear cut as it seems like you want it to be. People have their sexual orientation and that is normal regardless of what gender they end up being attracted to.
Its the WHAT as oppose to WHO you are. They are only after that "thing" or fetish that you are or have as oppose to after the person you are.
It is also so that I don't enjoy being transsexual or being pre-op. If people are into it then a ->-bleeped-<- ->-bleeped-<- is the right choice for them.
i wouldn't like to be admired for the condition I am in.
Imagine if you lost a leg or were born without feet and then there is someone after you precisely because you don't have your limbs.
That is at least how I feel about it for myself.
I used to hate ->-bleeped-<- ->-bleeped-<-s, but I ve come to realize that they do have their virtues.... like for example, there is no need to go into agonizing details about how you were in the wrong body growing up, etc, etc. There is also no need to defend your decision to be transgender. There is no need to have that "talk" or "big revelation".
Of course, if that ->-bleeped-<- ->-bleeped-<- is closeted and wants your relationship to be on the side, then that is a whole different ball game.
Quote from: envie on November 20, 2011, 08:10:51 PM
The difference is as I already mentioned between someone being attracted to you for who and not what you are.
There is of course no clear cut as it seems like you want it to be. People have their sexual orientation and that is normal regardless of what gender they end up being attracted to.
Its the WHAT as oppose to WHO you are. They are only after that "thing" or fetish that you are or have as oppose to after the person you are.
It is also so that I don't enjoy being transsexual or being pre-op. If people are into it then a ->-bleeped-<- ->-bleeped-<- is the right choice for them.
i wouldn't like to be admired for the condition I am in.
Imagine if you lost a leg or were born without feet and then there is someone after you precisely because you don't have your limbs.
That is at least how I feel about it for myself.
Even if you get the srs...you still have to contend with other things that make a person transsexual: bone structure, hands, etc.
->-bleeped-<- ->-bleeped-<-s are into post ops too.
Quote from: Mahsa the disco shark on November 20, 2011, 08:51:56 PM
Even if you get the srs...you still have to contend with other things that make a person transsexual: bone structure, hands, etc.
->-bleeped-<- ->-bleeped-<-s are into post ops too.
Some ->-bleeped-<- ->-bleeped-<-s are really weird....i had this one TC pm me here on susan's saying he thought i was very beautiful and that he wanted to lick my feet. :icon_eek:
Quote from: Rukia87xo on November 20, 2011, 09:20:59 PM
Some ->-bleeped-<- ->-bleeped-<-s are really weird....i had this one TC pm me here on susan's saying he thought i was very beautiful and that he wanted to lick my feet. :icon_eek:
That hasn't happened to me yet... See, it pays to be a bitch. :)
Are they even allowed on this board?
Quote from: Mahsa the disco shark on November 20, 2011, 09:25:43 PM
Are they even allowed on this board?
Yes, they run free on this board like the antelope runs free on the plains. :D
Quote from: Rukia87xo on November 20, 2011, 09:45:38 PM
Yes, they run free on this board like the antelope runs free on the plains. :D
Ever had antelope meat? IT IS DA BOMB!!!!
Quote from: Mahsa the disco shark on November 20, 2011, 09:46:56 PM
Ever had antelope meat? IT IS DA BOMB!!!!
No :laugh:
I've eaten buffalo but that's about it for exotic meats. :D
Quote from: Rukia87xo on November 20, 2011, 09:51:13 PM
No :laugh:
I've eaten buffalo but that's about it for exotic meats. :D
I've ate many exotic meats: filipino, cuban, turkish, german
wait, we're talking about food right?
Quote from: Mahsa the disco shark on November 20, 2011, 09:53:35 PM
I've ate many exotic meats: filipino, cuban, turkish, german
OMGOSH Elle tmi girl! :laugh:
Quotewait, we're talking about food right?
Jez meat. :eusa_drool:
Elle is ONE meat eater it seems, eh.
No one mentioned crocodile meat yet, it comes off its tail, no less...
I ate it, - it's a bit like chicken... then it bit me between the legs 2 month ago.
Maybe just for revenge? :-)
Back on topic...:
In fairness some ->-bleeped-<-s can be very sweet --- so it can be tricky to sort through this "for who, and for what you are" stuff.
It's tough to send someone off - 'cause he purports to like you - but seems to only qualify for the "what" part.
How does one KNOW???!
Elle having been around the block... any helpful insights?
Axelle
I think maybe some trans people have trouble with the non-binary thing (just like people outside the community). Afterall, we are all raised in environments where things are binary... it seems "right".
So, when they finally decide that being at one side of the binary isn't for them and they start to transition... in their mind, the only possible "right" thing is to go to the other binary.
If someone is attracted to them as a girl because they are hot or have girl parts... that is totally fine. That is what is expected, that is "normal", that is part of what being a binary is (and attraction / sex in general).
But, if they are still in the middle... and someone is attracted to them for what they are at that point... they don't think it is right. They feel their bodies are still broken and not in the zone of "normal" yet.
A lot really are binary... but, I think maybe some just have trouble with being different :P
Quote from: Axélle on November 20, 2011, 10:22:06 PM
Elle having been around the block... any helpful insights?
Don't be fooled by the rocks that I've got, I'm still I'm still Elle from around the block.
Actually I prefer the gender be the last thing some one would be attracted to in regards to me.
There is nothing transsexual about the books I read, my interests in social justice, art, music etc.
I prefer to be attractive to someone for my personality and the activities I do.
I'd like to be attractive human who happens to be a transsexual and not the other way around.
There is no gender binary in my mind, I'd like to through the gender into the garbage can.
I don't want to be liked for my male nor female parts.
I'd even go so far to say I'd be rather admired for being good sexual partner as this is something I DO and not something I simply happen to be.
Quote from: Axélle on November 20, 2011, 10:22:06 PM
It's tough to send someone off - 'cause he purports to like you - but seems to only qualify for the "what" part.
How does one KNOW???!
Axelle
I suppose you get to know each other a little and see what is the motivation beyond his interest.
Someone who is only into "what" part usually can't hide it for very long. Its the drive behind that gets him outed.
Frau Axelle, was denken Sie sich dabei mit Krokodile zu spielen? Lassen Sie es bitte bloß sein,
man kann sich ja auch etwas weniger gefärlich amüsieren! ;) Machen Sie es gut!
Quote from: envie on November 20, 2011, 11:08:50 PM
Frau Axelle, was denken Sie sich dabei mit Krokodile zu spielen? Lassen Sie es bitte bloß sein,
man kann sich ja auch etwas weniger gefärlich amüsieren! ;) Machen Sie es gut!
Schaub er frautaruten das weniger <==8 sich
Weniger <==8
Quote from: Shades O'Grey on November 20, 2011, 03:40:44 PM
But at an emotional level, I have to ask, "Why does my anatomy determine whether or not I'm worthy of being loved."
unfortunately because this is the real world! It all comes down to sex and what's between your legs. It sucks and is so sad!
Quote from: Lily on November 20, 2011, 04:03:22 PM
I just don't understand the emphasis people place on their partner's physical body. Having a penis or a vagina to me is like the difference between having an innie or outie belly button. If the personality is right, why let something so minor get in the way of love?
because people are selfish and shallow.
Quote from: Mahsa the disco shark on November 20, 2011, 11:10:43 PM
Schaub er frautaruten das weniger <==8 sich
Weniger <==8
Woopsy, sounds like ELLE caused a Google translator crash by some very naughty translation request?
Aber
bitte weniger als 8 Zoll! Aber ich möchte doch bitten!
Erst der Krokodilbiß und dann 8 Zoll... um Gottes Willen.
Zu viel des Guten für mich. Autsch!
This here girl would need doughnut spacers!
So even if HE would be after my "who" and not my "what" that be some challenge too.
Also it still be not that easy to figure, - BECAUSE he would know I'm a trans-woman with SRS ok, - yet that alone is a stack more exotic (to some) then any bio-female... um.
Axelle
I just lie.
Quote from: Mahsa the disco shark on November 20, 2011, 08:51:56 PM
Even if you get the srs...you still have to contend with other things that make a person transsexual: bone structure, hands, etc.
->-bleeped-<- ->-bleeped-<-s are into post ops too.
The ->-bleeped-<-->-bleeped-<- that are into Post-ops are generally a different type of ->-bleeped-<- than the one that excludingly are after Pre-ops.
The ->-bleeped-<- that only goes after Pre-ops, does it because of the anatomy; a chick with a dick, and usually dumps the TS if/when she has SRS.
The ->-bleeped-<- that goes after Post-ops, however, usually goes after Pre-ops aswell including Cis-females too, as he is not attracted to the anatomy of the TS but the femininity, hence this type of ->-bleeped-<- usually don't care at all what the TS has between the legs, as he is usually not very interested in that piece anyways(If she is pre-op).
In short, the first type of ->-bleeped-<- chases ->-bleeped-<-s because of their anatomy foremostly, while the second type does so not because of their anatomy but because of their "air of femininity", as they often puts it.
But then again, the later type also goes after cis-females aswell as they simply loves chicks.
Quote from: Jen-Jen on November 21, 2011, 12:15:52 AM
unfortunately because this is the real world! It all comes down to sex and what's between your legs. It sucks and is so sad!
But, I am in the real world. Before I can be sexual with some one I have to be attracted to them, and that attraction is not based on appearance or anatomy. That attraction is based on who they are as opposed to what they are.
I cannot be the only one is this world who thinks this way.
Quote from: Shades O'Grey on November 21, 2011, 10:29:42 AM
But, I am in the real world. Before I can be sexual with some one I have to be attracted to them, and that attraction is not based on appearance or anatomy. That attraction is based on who they are as opposed to what they are.
I cannot be the only one is this world who thinks this way.
yup cuz your shallow, dont worry your not the only one. When it all comes down to it in the end, we are all shallow beings.
I don't understand. Wanting an emotion connection with a person before I can become sexual is shallow? I thought it was the other way around.
Quote from: Lily on November 20, 2011, 03:33:54 PM
I see it as no different than someone liking a certain hair color, or even a certain kind of personality. You can't fault people for their preferences.
I agree Lily
Someone can be attracted to me (my personality, character, etc.) and also be attracted to my anatomy. The two are not mutually exclusive.
Quote from: Shades O'Grey on November 21, 2011, 04:22:14 PM
I don't understand. Wanting an emotion connection with a person before I can become sexual is shallow? I thought it was the other way around.
you didn't say it was based on emotion.
Quote from: Shades O'Grey on November 21, 2011, 10:29:42 AM
But, I am in the real world. Before I can be sexual with some one I have to be attracted to them, and that attraction is not based on appearance or anatomy. That attraction is based on who they are as opposed to what they are.
I cannot be the only one is this world who thinks this way.
I am exactly this way. The soul matters so much more to me than the body.
Quote from: Shades O'Grey on November 21, 2011, 10:29:42 AM
But, I am in the real world. Before I can be sexual with some one I have to be attracted to them, and that attraction is not based on appearance or anatomy. That attraction is based on who they are as opposed to what they are.
I cannot be the only one is this world who thinks this way.
But an emotional connection is not always romantic/sensual. The ones that don't fit our sexual orientation become really close friends, but not lovers. It isn't that you can't develop a connection to someone that doesn't fit your interests, but rather that it doesn't develop sexually.
I have nothing against ->-bleeped-<-s as a whole, and agree with what the OP is getting at, but in my experience ->-bleeped-<-s have been creepers. And creepers are creepy.
I just don't agree with labeling anyone who is attracted to transsexual women as a "->-bleeped-<-."
There's an obvious difference between a man who is looking for a meaningful relationship with a woman, and happens to have a preference for transwomen...and a guy who's just looking to "try something new" sexually or just wants casual sex with a transwoman.
Both exist, but sadly both receive the same negative label that should only be reserved for the latter.
Quote from: Butterflyhugs on November 21, 2011, 07:14:35 PM
I just don't agree with labeling anyone who is attracted to transsexual women as a "->-bleeped-<-."
There's an obvious difference between a man who is looking for a meaningful relationship with a woman, and happens to have a preference for transwomen...and a guy who's just looking to "try something new" sexually or just wants casual sex with a transwoman.
Both exist, but sadly both receive the same negative label that should only be reserved for the latter.
Thank you for your perspective, Kristy. I fall into the former category, and I couldn't have expressed my feelings better myself. Thank you! ;)
Quote from: Jen-Jen on November 20, 2011, 03:23:49 PMWhy is it such a difference whether they are attracted to our penis or our vulva?
Because maybe some of us feel uncomfortable and don't like having a penis, much less a guy who is looking to suck us off or get ->-bleeped-<-ed in the ass.
Quote from: JenJen2011 on November 21, 2011, 08:19:32 PM
Because maybe some of us feel uncomfortable and don't like having a penis, much less a guy who is looking to suck us off or get ->-bleeped-<-ed in the ass.
Just because they like different things in bed than we might doesn't mean they are bad or anything. It is just a sittuation of "aww, I'm flattered...but... no thank you".
I don't understand the negative reaction because they want something different than we can offer.
This is why straight guys react negatively (sometimes very negatively) to a gay guy who might hit on them... why not just say "no thanks" and move on without judging the other person so harshly for seeking something different than you?
Quote from: Jen-Jen on November 21, 2011, 04:50:00 PM
you didn't say it was based on emotion.
Very well, I'll be more clear next time.
Quote from: Rabbit on November 21, 2011, 08:36:12 PM
Just because they like different things in bed than we might doesn't mean they are bad or anything. It is just a sittuation of "aww, I'm flattered...but... no thank you".
I don't understand the negative reaction because they want something different than we can offer.
This is why straight guys react negatively (sometimes very negatively) to a gay guy who might hit on them... why not just say "no thanks" and move on without judging the other person so harshly for seeking something different than you?
I never said they were bad and I don't see where I was being "harsh". I'm just not into ->-bleeped-<- ->-bleeped-<-s, sorry. If that's your thing, cool but I would not be flattered.
I get pm's on here and other sites from "->-bleeped-<- ->-bleeped-<-s" all the time and they almost always ask me something perverted. I'm not gonna get into the details but sometimes it really creeps me out big time. :icon_nervious:
Quote from: Rukia87xo on November 21, 2011, 09:09:26 PM
I get pm's on here and other sites from "->-bleeped-<- ->-bleeped-<-s" all the time and they almost always ask me something perverted. I'm not gonna get into the details but sometimes it really creeps me out big time. :icon_nervious:
I don't get them from here anymore (I think the green row above the avatar wards them off), but yeah, it's creepy.
Wow, I've never been PM'd by ->-bleeped-<-s, here or otherwise.
Quote from: Shades O'Grey on November 21, 2011, 11:59:30 PM
Wow, I've never been PM'd by ->-bleeped-<-s, here or otherwise.
Had three that I can remember here, two on FB. Just the cost of being all public. None on YT yet, though. Also: they were after the male member. /shudders
I hooked up with a gay acting straight guy tonight. it was the hottest thing ever...
He was fascinated with post op transgirls though and was like, "You could be my girlfriend...Like a relationship. You don't have any trace of male in you"
OMG
Mahsa, was that a good OMG or a bad OMG?
Quote from: Shades O'Grey on November 22, 2011, 09:36:03 AM
Mahsa, was that a good OMG or a bad OMG?
Definitely the hottest straight guy I met as of late. Good kisser, nice chest...I was horny the entire time. He's also a DJ/stoner/rapper/skater type... Complete with the flitty wrists and the OMG gay voice.
Bad, because my married b/f doesn't know about it.
So-so cuz I have another date tonight with an RPG player/geek.
stay on topic please! :police:
Sorry.
This may sound bad... but.. i dont think id mind being chased like that, at least for a while once i start passing.
ofcourse this is just me, and its a direct cause of my incredibly low self estime, i still belive i am fugly and someone be crazy or also fugy to even consider me a viable option for romance. hence the thought of someone chasing after me, for whatever reason makes me rather fuzzy inside. i apologize if that offends anyone, but its just the way i am.
another major player in this opinion is my veiw on sex, im probably the kinkiest direst sluttiest person youd be likley to meet. and wit my morals, i am totally okay with that. sure because of my self confidence i probably could never be the slut or "man whore" that i think of myself. but its still the way i am, again this is JUST ME. but i probably fall into a minority.