Well i have been here only 7.5 months but in this short time i have seen many many experienced and kind womyn and men leave. I mean i used to log on speak my pain and would of been comfortable with life in a matter of posts. I find these days that i have a subconscious instinct to not post my pain because i am more likely to be attacked these days :(
Say what you will but any of you who were members 7+ months ago should understand what i mean.
Just saying when those who have seen and learnt leave this website a part of it is destroyed forever and has only been replaced by those who seek to see and learn.
I wish the joke filled atmosphere would return so i could gain interest in posting again:) haha
happens all the time to all forums.
I have to keep abreast of developments in TBGL stuff for my job, conferences and my writing, and over last 6/7 years so many sites I used to look into shrivelled and died - even without my help. :angel:
seems everyone finds the info they seek or goes looking elsewhere.
I've had three invites to link up over Xmas for dinner or drinks with three groups I used to love chatting to on separate forums but I've no interest in seeing them again.
I do agree with you.
It's not longer supporting anymore but an arguementsite.
That's a bad thing, there were friendly and supporting people here.
You don't see them here anymore.
I have met people here who became friends, I knew when i had a problem they would help me with some good advice or giving some comfort and I was surely willing to do that for others.
These days are gone, and I don't hope for ever, I had plans to leave too, because most of the time it's annoying to hear every time, while I did have a very successfully transition, I'm still a man because of the chromosomes.
So, it seems it was all for nothing.
I try to ignore those yelling gayscene self proclaimed woman, they feel strong because they are a part of the umbrella.
I think it's an abuse of the umbrella, but that's the Tos.
I do still hope that things are gonna change one day and that the supporting times are back.
After all, transition is not an easy thing to do and one can use all the suport they can get.
I'm glad you saw it happening too, I tought I was a bit too sensitive but your post prove that there was a change here and it was not a good change.
Let's hope the people who run this site will see it too and will do something about it.
I feel that way. I lost 3 Reputation points for being honest. If I don't always say "you look beautiful" I get penalized.
It happened to me. People were honest with me and everyone agreed.
Sometimes if someone looks boyish, I'll say it.
For me at least, it boosts my awareness of how far I have to go and makes me realize I'm not done in my transition.
Imagine what would happen if I looked boyish, everyone told me I looked beautiful, and I lived full time like that?
I'd be considered a freak.
Luckily, I had to refrain from presenting as a woman until I look more like one.
Thank you for your honesty, I really appreciate it,
Body of Alyssa to be. ♥
That's curious... I find this site to be informative, helpful and congenial. Guess I don't really understand where the OP is coming from.
I have been coming here off and on for over a dozen yrs. I found its up to me if i get along and i found there will always be people who are here with a bad attitude. love ya all .. keep coming back ;)
"Anyone else find Susans has lost its level of comfort?" Nope, hugs, Devlyn
I agree with you. Almost every interesting thread gets derailed by 2 or 3 toxic individuals pushing their "life style" in an obnoxious way over and over and over.
Jen61
The OP is right.
You should have been here 2 years ago. The place was ALLOT more civil and there was a number of post op women who stayed to help the newbies.
Those days are gone.
A few bad apples can spoil the entire barrel.
Susans is not the same place it was when I joined. I don't find the same comfort here I did back then but it's still a very special place. Members will come and go and there will be fall outs it's the nature of groups. What made it feel so comforting back the is the people took the time to write to others when they were in distress to comfort them, share their experience and help then see things in a different light. People open up and joke around when they feel safe.
LilDevilOfPrada start being that which you want to see. Give to the people on Susans what you want to get out of it. Ignore (and report) the flamers and haters and suport the people who need it. I really believe that our community only exists to the extent which we are willing to help each other.
Quote from: LilDevilOfPrada on December 24, 2011, 04:43:29 AM
Well i have been here only 7.5 months but in this short time i have seen many many experienced and kind womyn and men leave. I mean i used to log on speak my pain and would of been comfortable with life in a matter of posts. I find these days that i have a subconscious instinct to not post my pain because i am more likely to be attacked these days :(
Say what you will but any of you who were members 7+ months ago should understand what i mean.
Just saying when those who have seen and learnt leave this website a part of it is destroyed forever and has only been replaced by those who seek to see and learn.
I wish the joke filled atmosphere would return so i could gain interest in posting again:) haha
I completely understand what you mean and i've tried to bring this up. I gained alot of support here when i first joined, so much.
Quote from: LilDevilOfPrada on December 24, 2011, 04:43:29 AM
Well i have been here only 7.5 months but in this short time i have seen many many experienced and kind womyn and men leave. I mean i used to log on speak my pain and would of been comfortable with life in a matter of posts. I find these days that i have a subconscious instinct to not post my pain because i am more likely to be attacked these days :(
Say what you will but any of you who were members 7+ months ago should understand what i mean.
Just saying when those who have seen and learnt leave this website a part of it is destroyed forever and has only been replaced by those who seek to see and learn.
I wish the joke filled atmosphere would return so i could gain interest in posting again:) haha
it feels the same with me. You have good nature people, you have trouble makers, you have elitists, you have dreamers, etc etc. Been like that since I signed up.
When you first started to post, you used to post 30-75 posts a day. No matter how good (or bad) a site is, that much posting is going to burn you out.
Also, it is a good thing for the site to be about seek and learn too as many people have questions, etc
Quote from: ~~BebeLyss~~ on December 24, 2011, 07:58:48 AM
I feel that way. I lost 3 Reputation points for being honest. If I don't always say "you look beautiful" I get penalized.
It happened to me. People were honest with me and everyone agreed.
Sometimes if someone looks boyish, I'll say it.
yeah but to play devil's advocate, the person you commented on looks incredible and passes very easily (and I hardly ever say on a forum someone passes). It was like you were describing someone who wasn't in those pics at all. It's awesome to see people post honestly in the "do I pass thread" because lord knows, too many people post "you look great" with the same mentality as a four year handing their mom or dad a drawing and saying the same thing.
But the set of pics you commented on, the girl passed VERY well considering she isn't even on hrt yet. I think the reasons why you were given those negative ratings by people was because you were projecting your own personal frustrations out on other people and you did admit that yesterday.
Quote from: annette on December 24, 2011, 06:28:43 AM
I do agree with you.
It's not longer supporting anymore but an arguementsite.
That's a bad thing, there were friendly and supporting people here.
You don't see them here anymore.
I have met people here who became friends, I knew when i had a problem they would help me with some good advice or giving some comfort and I was surely willing to do that for others.
These days are gone, and I don't hope for ever, I had plans to leave too, because most of the time it's annoying to hear every time, while I did have a very successfully transition, I'm still a man because of the chromosomes.
So, it seems it was all for nothing.
I try to ignore those yelling gayscene self proclaimed woman, they feel strong because they are a part of the umbrella.
I think it's an abuse of the umbrella, but that's the Tos.
I do still hope that things are gonna change one day and that the supporting times are back.
After all, transition is not an easy thing to do and one can use all the suport they can get.
I'm glad you saw it happening too, I tought I was a bit too sensitive but your post prove that there was a change here and it was not a good change.
Let's hope the people who run this site will see it too and will do something about it.
I just signed up about a day ago, and it's my first time opening up to my feminization. Perhaps because I've read older threads prior to joining here that I have the same great impression of this site as PradaDevil once had.
While I'm not one to say that things have indeed changed, I can confirm that this hostile "political correction" from ONLINE activists is a recent phenomenon that is a systemic response to an ever more interconnectedness of multiple cultures, as a result of the exponential growth of social networks. It's true that LGBT/animal/human rights need as much attention and action as possible, but the truth is that most militant "pundits" I've seen are quick to harass anyone who, regardless of his kind intentions, they think are reinforcing oppression through willful ignorance. They give people a long list of "politically correct" terms to use to appropriate the multifarious shades of cultural identity and expect you to memorize them all. And they do this without considering that people have other WORK to do, and most likely have never had the privilege of attending a course or seminar on critical theory unlike some spoiled scholars who've never done an hour of labor their whole life.
Sometimes the whole thing seems like a farcical ironic capitalist competition on righteousness, the capital being one's misfortune, and the most victimized gets to win the profit of moral highground.
There's no denying the fact that the term "Politically Correct" came to be for the staggeringly simple reason that it is, indeed, correct. More controversially, it is ethically sound to transgress dominant political and cultural hegemonies with violence.
But to attack another "victim of the institution" is entirely different from raising arms and starting a real bloody revolution. It's just armchair political poetics that is an inferior imitation of action.
BTW, DevilPrada, the quote "Religion is the opium of the people" is not Marx's attack on religion, it is an out-of-context quotation of his criticism of people who are hostile against religion. As Karl Marx said of criticism of religion, "To call on them to give up their illusions about their condition is to call on them to give up a condition that requires illusions." It means that before a raging atheist basks in the sense of superiority he receives from ridiculing what he says as a straightforward symptom of lack of intelligence, if the atheist were any smarter he would understand that religious escapism would no longer be necessary without the imperialist tyranny of transnational capitalism. One should act to subvert this system of oppression before criticising the only hope the victims have left.
All forums go thru these kinds of things, imho. Forums are an online version of real life (the only difference is how quickly people can turn to rudeness).
As in real life, people will come and go...and we only remember the good times.
There was a song once, I think it was called "The Way We Were", where the opening lines were
QuoteDoes anyone remember the good ol' days?
Ah yes, the good ol' days...the good ol' days...
We have to keep in mind that *these* will be
the "good ol' days" for our children...
I probably butchered the lyrics, but the meaning is there...2 years ago we could probably find someone who posted "Remember 2 years ago..?" (which would be 4 years to us)...and in a couple of years, we'll see a post that laments how Susan's has changed in the past few months (which would be in our future)...
My advice? Just like when dealing with real people...praise the good, ignore the bad. You can't correct people on the internet (unless they're willing to accept your help; and you can't control that), so if someone posts something that JUST REALLY CHAPS YOUR HIDE, simply scroll down to the next post, breathe deep....and press on.
*hugs* to all
*hugs* to Susan's for being here.
I would be rich if each time a group of newly post ops left to start their own group paid me a buck.
well maybe not rich but it happens with many newly post op sisters..
and people come here to antagonize people they can and others come here for help
learn to see the difference..
hugs
Don't take it too personally if people disagree or argue with you. If we all were passive and "yes, madam" here, it would make for a boring forum! lol
Also, this forum is way better than some other transgender forums I have seen - especially that godawful porn site.
As one of the elder women here, I too have noticed a change in tone. Sad in some ways, but is the way things happen.
Many of my brothers and sisters have moved on because either they feel they have nothing more to gain or contribute as their transition, in whatever form they see it, is complete. Or they have felt pushed out by acrimony.
I also have drifted away. I completed my transition and no longer think of myself as trans-anything. I had a birth defect and it is now corrected. I have always been a woman and I am now a woman in soul and body, my transition is in the past and while part of my history, is not part of my life now.
I contribute little now and very seldom start topics. Everything that others are going through I have already gone through. My experience may be of little use to them.
I remain because there are some few who come here who are in agony and dire need of support. I try to show that the obstacles can be overcome and life can be joyous and colorful. I try to be the dragonfly who returned.
Also there are those who seek technical information about the rigors of gender transition. I try to help there as well.
I will remain, mostly in silence, as long as I feel that my participation, in whatever capacity, is useful.
-Sandy
I can also, generally, understand how many are feeling. But much of it will be the normal changes that take place in any dynamic environment.
However, I have found that posts, mine and others are more likely to be read and responded to if they can follow some basic principals.
Paragraphs. I tend to follow the principal that if it seems in the least appropriate, make a new paragraph. They do no harm and make everything much easier to read. They create a decent point at which to stop concentrating so much, for a moment.
Long paragraphs are always to be avoided. Long sentences get tiring. Short and punchy.
Stick to the point. Rambling is only fun for the writer.
It's as I was telling someone the other day. No-one in particular, but I've known them for ages. nice person. Has long blond hair and lives down the corner of my street. (See what I mean? ::))
If you post something and no-one responds, try to think of a way to reword it, perhaps altering the context, then repost. I'm not for a moment, suggesting you spam with the same point everywhere. But that, if after a few days, no-one has responded, reword and repost. No-one ignore you here. But there is a lot to read and sometimes things get missed.
Often the problem is how you explain it.
On Susans' and no-where else, just open up. Say what you feel. That's what's really great about Susans', you can!
I blame a certain musical troll shark.
Kia Ora,
::) I know this sounds somewhat cliché but "NOTHING IS PERMANENT" and when one truly understands this one will find contentment with what 'is'... We live in an ever changing world nothing remains[or is meant to remain] the same. If one tries to stagnate this flow one WILL suffer [have you ever been near a stagnant pond ?]...
::) Online communities are made up of a diverse bunch of individuals each with an opinion[I like others here am expressing mine now] some will be in agreement, whilst others in conflict , some with a desire to help, when others[for reasons only known to them] wanting to hinder...{but they too are suffering in their own way}...
::) My advice...Just go with the flow of what 'is' and if you feel uncomfortable about a topic[at times they can be an emotional power keg-waiting to explode] stay away from that topic, or if you feel strongly about a topic, by all means express your opinion but be 'emotionally' prepared for a backlash if it goes against the mainstream...
::) But most importantly "TRY NOT TO TAKE WHAT'S BEEN SAID PERSONALLY !" Remember emotions run high on forums such as these, feelings are easily hurt... People are struggling to come to terms with their inner demons , plus many are also having to face society 's gauntlet of ridicule and rejection... There's a lot of hurt around...
::) Susan's is in a constant state of flux and is and will continue to go through 'rebirth' after 'rebirth'!
::) BTW MERRY XMAS to those who celebrate it and season's greeting to those who don't....
Metta Zenda :)
Quote from: Zenda on December 24, 2011, 04:06:45 PM
::) But most importantly "TRY NOT TO TAKE WHAT'S BEEN SAID PERSONALLY !" Remember emotions run high on forums such as these, feelings are easily hurt... People are struggling to come to terms with their inner demons , plus many are also having to face society 's gauntlet of ridicule and rejection... There's a lot of hurt around...
::)
Metta Zenda :)
Exactly! It is OK TO DISAGREE - just because people don't agree with what you ve said or posted, doesnt mean they are attacking you personally.
I can't speak for what this place was several years ago, I can only say that the place as a whole seems friendly, helpful, and diverse.
There are some politics going on here (same as anyplace - everything has always been political, and the issues we deal with are political - the feminist motto "the personal is political" comes to mind) and some of the back-and-forth arguments might be better done in PMs than in public.
I wonder if maybe the feeling of comfort passing has more to do with a change in our collective view of how we relate to and befriend people on the internet, as if maybe collectively, we (people living in 2011) are starting to realize more and more that the internet isn't a substitute for real life / in person connections.
There's alot of offensive ridicule that's being categorized as tough love and backed up as such
and that makes this forum at times unapproachable lately.
I've noticed the same diminishing in the forum's warm atmosphere... and I really miss many of the members that used to post here. The new active members, while unique and interesting, don't seem to carry the same feeling. It's a shame... but I doubt it's a special phenomenon. It happens with everything when you're the one left behind after so many others have moved on.
Watching the ebb and flow of these forms over the years, pretty much since the beginning, I've noticed several things.
- Support is often not comfortable. I've never seen lying to anyone as doing them any good.
- There has been, in the past 7-10 years in particular, what almost amounts to a demand that in order to have a 'successful transition' one must move away from everything they did before, including such on-line, and the real world communities. So most of the highly successful people feel they must pull away. That tends to keep the maturity away, and reinforce immaturity.
- There has been a trend for support boards to take on all aspects of people's lives, and not just the trans issues. Though to many people all those problems bleed together and tie-in, it also leads to subjects that are really not germane to the transgender issue, and also lead into areas that are more divisive.
- The growth of the internet has expanded the range of people on any given board. When all this started you had mostly people of higher education levels with higher incomes and who were on the whole older (at least college age), as all of those slip you get into many aspects that again, create divisions.
- With less maturity overall you have a huge factor of people taking things far too personally.
I'm finding out a lot of useful things.
I hope I'm not making anyone uncomfortable. :)
Quote from: tekla on December 24, 2011, 09:21:50 PM
Watching the ebb and flow of these forms over the years, pretty much since the beginning, I've noticed several things.
- Support is often not comfortable. I've never seen lying to anyone as doing them any good.
- There has been, in the past 7-10 years in particular, what almost amounts to a demand that in order to have a 'successful transition' one must move away from everything they did before, including such on-line, and the real world communities. So most of the highly successful people feel they must pull away. That tends to keep the maturity away, and reinforce immaturity.
- There has been a trend for support boards to take on all aspects of people's lives, and not just the trans issues. Though to many people all those problems bleed together and tie-in, it also leads to subjects that are really not germane to the transgender issue, and also lead into areas that are more divisive.
- The growth of the internet has expanded the range of people on any given board. When all this started you had mostly people of higher education levels with higher incomes and who were on the whole older (at least college age), as all of those slip you get into many aspects that again, create divisions.
- With less maturity overall you have a huge factor of people taking things far too personally.
I will agree with you :)
I found that I do take things to personally at times but then again i am still a teenager. I have even created a thread that was 250 posts of opinion then agreement and disagreement but back then disagreement was some what less of a ''deadly sin''.
I get websites change but to me i find that since i have been reading from this site they has never been so many people banned and well warned for horrible behaviour in such a short period of time.
Try keep in mind the fact that people complain they can't speak their minds anymore ?? I find that well a lie :) Its all nice and all to complain you can't but its also important to remember saying stuff like 'your 19.. you look 50' ain't fair and is well misusing your right to a opinion.
I am not saying you should all agree i just am saying i feel its lost its comfort level.
Quote from: Annah on December 24, 2011, 09:51:54 AM
it feels the same with me. You have good nature people, you have trouble makers, you have elitists, you have dreamers, etc etc. Been like that since I signed up.
When you first started to post, you used to post 30-75 posts a day. No matter how good (or bad) a site is, that much posting is going to burn you out.
Also, it is a good thing for the site to be about seek and learn too as many people have questions, etc
I agree here as well
But i would easily post 75 times a day again if i felt comfortable knowing that only 3 would possibly cause a little issue which would be resolved through pming like it used to be and not ruining a topic in a argument that is pointless like it has become these days.
I don't think you all agree and i have no issue with that :) i am just being honest with i believe.
Why bemoan and lament the old days?
Be the first one to lead by example! :)
Also, whining about it won't really change how people post here; the trick is in not to take things personally and just laugh it off.
Quote from: MsDazzler on December 25, 2011, 12:07:59 AM
Why bemoan and lament the old days?
Be the first one to lead by example! :)
Also, whining about it won't really change how people post here; the trick is in not to take things personally and just laugh it off.
To be fair i ain't moaning :) just stating a observation :) i get what you mean though :) I just find it quite over used because the fact is if no one ever bothered to tell people that something is wrong then people won't try fix it:)
There is nothing wrong with being honest.
When no one tells their honest opinion, there is something wrong.
People can have a disagree, that's okay, it's part of the game called life, but, the conversations can be in a civilized manner.
There is also nothing wrong with being civilized.
I do agree with Tekla, a certain level of education will help to keep things civilized.
You don't have to agree and still getting comfortable, a good discussion will help to see things from another perspective.
Sometimes that can be the solution for your problem, to get advice from a completely other point of view.
Giving names and using harsh words won't help, people get offended and will react on that.
That's what we have now, we need a change.
Yeah I agree with prada, i'm still new here as a member but i've "lurked" around Susan's for quite some time and i've definitely noticed the atmosphere around here changed from friendly and supportive to catty back' n fourth attacks on other members. I think people are coming here now more so to preach their trans ideals and brag about them selfs then to actually help others in need and that is sad.
I also noticed a few ex-members here that were once inspirations to me (Jen, Samanthaz, and Forever21chic) leave Susan's behind which may or may not be due to whats been going on around here for the last few months but it's quite possible. I personally think being trans is unbelievably stressful and I come here to seek help and advise from people going through the same things as me but sadly that isn't so anymore.
I think if we all got along with each other there's so much more we can learn about being trans and hopfully bring the "support" back to this trans support site. Well that's my 2 cents, now i'll disappear again for another month or two! Lol
Merry Christmas everyone!
I read more than i post. I do not give an opinion just because i have one. Its good to hold back and read and see what others say. You will learn more by listening than by speaking. If thats what your here for !
Form follows function as the famous dictate goes. And if you look back, particularly back 15-10 years, you'll find that a lot of effort was being expended on changing laws, finding care, and creating change. But I see almost zero activism any more. The issue of finding care has morphed into 'who's going to pay for care' which is another issue entirely, and social change has shrunk to problems with my parents/family. With changes like that you're not only going to lose those that had been perusing political and social change, but you're also going to get deeper and deeper into issues that we - as a whole - can not change like 'your parents religious beliefs'. The more 'personal' the topics and situations, the less relevant any particular point of view is (as opposed to political and social change, where all the views need to be understood and if at all possible, included) and the more individual, and hence narrow and parochial, the themes become.
Quote from: tekla on December 25, 2011, 12:07:26 PM
Form follows function as the famous dictate goes. And if you look back, particularly back 15-10 years, you'll find that a lot of effort was being expended on changing laws, finding care, and creating change. But I see almost zero activism any more. The issue of finding care has morphed into 'who's going to pay for care' which is another issue entirely, and social change has shrunk to problems with my parents/family. With changes like that you're not only going to lose those that had been perusing political and social change, but you're also going to get deeper and deeper into issues that we - as a whole - can not change like 'your parents religious beliefs'. The more 'personal' the topics and situations, the less relevant any particular point of view is (as opposed to political and social change, where all the views need to be understood and if at all possible, included) and the more individual, and hence narrow and parochial, the themes become.
DITTO TEKLA,,,,
here is an example of some Transwomen activist and what they tried to do back in the day to get attention for our causes.
Protest targets transgender-less ENDA
Dan Kerman, Gay.com / PlanetOut.com Network
Tuesday, May 28, 2002 / 04:05 PM
SUMMARY: After three weeks, a homeless transgender activist has ended her one-woman vigil for transgender rights in front of the nation's Capitol.
After three weeks, a homeless transgender activist has ended her one-woman vigil in front of the nation's Capitol. Sleeping in a tent by night and making signs by day, she began her vigil on May 9 as part of an education campaign about the need for legal protections in the transgender community.
"I am just one of the many transgendered people around the country who can't find work," she told the Gay.com/PlanetOut.com Network. "Many of my sisters are on street corners selling their bodies and resorting to sexual slavery just to survive, and I would like a message sent to the country that my people need a lifting up," she said.
her vigil took place as the U.S. Senate prepares to debate the Employment Non-Discrimination Act (ENDA). In it's current form, ENDA prohibits employment discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation. But the bill does not cover transgender people. Though she has lobbied Congress in the past to include transgender people in ENDA, she says she's now come to realize that's not what's best.
"I don't want to hurt the gay and lesbian community from getting their bill passed, just so we could get what we wanted, which is inclusion in this bill," she said. "Maybe it's better to stand on our own two feet," she said.
Though she is a member of the National Transgender Advocacy Coalition (NTAC), her views are not the same as the lobbying group's official position.
"Our position on the bill is for inclusion," said Vanessa Edwards Foster, board vice chair of NTAC. "Employment and economic distress are rampant in the transgender community, and we clearly need this issue addressed," she said.
Foster says the transgender community is not only discriminated against in the workplace, but during the hiring process. She says in its current form, ENDA is incomplete and should be amended.
The bill's congressional sponsors have opted not to make changes to the legislation, and the lesbian and gay political organization the Human Right Campaign (HRC) has supported that decision.
"Not enough education has been done in Congress on gender identify to get the bill passed with that added, and that's why we support the bill in its current form," said HRC Communications Director David Smith. "However, we strongly believe the transgender community should be protected from discrimination and we want to work with them to make sure that happens," Smith told the Gay.com/PlanetOut.com network.
NTAC's Foster says HRC's position is disappointing.
"We are feeling that the existing organizations that are pushing through the legislation are the self-appointed conservators of the transgender community," Foster said. "By that I mean that there's almost an impression that we are not able to control our own destiny," she said. "Our position is: give us the access to the individuals who are making these decisions, allow us to plead our own case," she said.
HRC's Smith says Senate Majority Leader Tom Daschle, D-S.D., has promised to bring ENDA to a vote of the full Senate before the end of the current legislative session in October.
And while her vigil is over, her work is not done. She says she is now planning a march on Washington for next spring to bring to light the needs of the transgender community in the United States and around the world.
******************************************************************
I find this site to be pretty supportive at times, and brutally honest, which I believe is extremely needed for people like us. When I go on hormones, I'm going to want people to tell me I look like a boy if I do, and not tell me I look like a girl if I look like a feminine one.
Of course there are a few ridiculous arguments that go absolutely nowhere and I'm sure we all know what those are, but reality isn't a fantasyland, so why should we try to make it one?
Honestly, I would think this site would be much more boring if we were all Pollyanna Sunshines, "yes, madam" posts, and afraid to disagree.
If you think the people here are "argumentative", just check out a particular "->-bleeped-<-" forum that is well known on the Internet. You'll rush back here so fast before you know it, lol. People there are totally egoistic, narcissitic, catty, and competitive - and totally eat any man alive who posts there, heh.
Quote from: toxicblue on December 25, 2011, 05:43:33 PM
I find this site to be pretty supportive at times, and brutally honest, which I believe is extremely needed for people like us. When I go on hormones, I'm going to want people to tell me I look like a boy if I do, and not tell me I look like a girl if I look like a feminine one.
Of course there are a few ridiculous arguments that go absolutely nowhere and I'm sure we all know what those are, but reality isn't a fantasyland, so why should we try to make it one?
I get you i really do the only thing that really upsets me is this constant pushing of opinions on other people.
Its nice to say sorry but you do have manly features because honesty hurts but is needed. I just find it stupid when you get people you tell everyone sorry you can only be a girl with FFS like the weirdo we had a few months ago because a lot of the girls they said needed FFS look more girl than some girls i know.
I guess the main thing i find annoying here is the opinion pushing. I think it causes more damage than is needed. Be honest don't be a troll and our little place here will start to heal because fights make scars but the truth cuts a wound which later ends up helping you to understand how you can heal your birth defect.
I'd just like to say something from a personal point of view, but also with my awareness of what happens in the background.
Susan's exists for you.
You are Susan's. What you talk about is what is on the board. If people wish to be nasty and unsupportive , then the site is nasty and unsupportive. You control it.
If you wish to help and be nice and friendly and chat and be gorgeous to people. You will be.
If you see posts you don't like, report them to a Mod, you will be anonymous. Mods will deal with it without friction to yourself.
YOU are Susan's. No one else; don't blame people who have moved on. YOU are Susan's. Always have been, always will.
Cindy
+ 1,
I second what Cindy has to say.
No need to elaborate at all.
Axelle
I also agree completely. Hugs, Devlyn
So the point of this thread is.... to blast all the newbies for not behaving like the previous posters? to make us feel bad? there is always a turnover - roll with the new times, changes. Don't stay in the past.
And without the newcomers, this site would die. heh. You need new visitors everyday to keep a site alive.
I feel totally disrespected by this judgmental thread :(
Kia Ora,
::) For the most part Susan's is what the individual makes of it... In other words it 'is' as it 'is' and the individual projects their personal likes and dislikes into the mix...It's lost nothing and gained nothing..."IMHO"...
Metta Zenda :)
From the "transgenders" I've met in person after seeing them on another site, I've learned to approach with extreme prejudice. :angel:
I usually just ignore the BS posts and I definatly don't respond to a post I may have an indifference too.
It does seem that any type of debate is thwarted if it isn't in agreement to the current demographics of the members that post most frequently.
This site isn't much different then most forums trans or not. A forum is what Cindy said, its only as good and useful as to what the people put into it.
I think everyone should just use what I say when my children say something stupid.
Quit talking like a sausage !
As an extreme newbie to Susan's I haven't noticed a lot of the argumentative and unsupportive stuff yet personally.
Really I'm quite thankful for those that have responded to me in the other threads, I lurked for a while at a few sites and this seemed the most understanding and friendly of them to attempt to talk about things I would never dare speak aloud. I took a leap of faith of sorts and haven't been disappointed yet in the people here new or old.
Being a vet of online forums from pretty far back, as well as admin and moderating a few over the years, I have to agree that all forums change and flow different over time. A lot of them have cycles, usually in topic themes popping up with new batches of regulars every few months, always a change sparked in the bulk of posters coming and going with a handful of constant older regulars. It's just how the net seems to work.
Not much you can do except to do your best not to get dragged down under the bridges with the trolls and as has been said lead by example and report.
Seriously - how are the newcomers supposed to feel about this thread complaining about them? it is sort of hypocritical of the veterans to complain about them; why don't you roll out the red carpet while you are at it? lol
Quote from: MsDazzler on December 26, 2011, 11:54:47 PM
Seriously - how are the newcomers supposed to feel about this thread complaining about them? it is sort of hypocritical of the veterans to complain about them; why don't you roll out the red carpet while you are at it? lol
The transcommunity is constantly evolving. Lately young folk have taken over the board.
You know, the older folks around here are goin "those damn kids... dagnabbit!"
Quote from: MsDazzler on December 26, 2011, 11:54:47 PM
Seriously - how are the newcomers supposed to feel about this thread complaining about them? it is sort of hypocritical of the veterans to complain about them; why don't you roll out the red carpet while you are at it? lol
I don't believe the OP was complaining about the newcomers per se, but more along the lines of musing that
something has changed, and
something is missing, etc, from what the place once was. As a newcomer, I certainly do not take offense, if anything I understand the sentimentality of longing for things of the past. Cindy IMO was right on by saying the place is what you make of it.
Web forums change all the time. This one's just a nasty one now. Nothing to worry about :)
Quote from: MsDazzler on December 26, 2011, 12:31:57 PM
So the point of this thread is.... to blast all the newbies for not behaving like the previous posters? to make us feel bad? there is always a turnover - roll with the new times, changes. Don't stay in the past.
And without the newcomers, this site would die. heh. You need new visitors everyday to keep a site alive.
I feel totally disrespected by this judgmental thread :(
There is no need for MsDazzler.
The meaning of the tread is that we can have a good time together or a bad time.
We had a very good time, friendly and supporting.
Supporting doesn't mean, lying to eachother, hell no, you can always say your opinion, but the way people react is all about the words who are used.
If one is reading the post again and just should ask by her/his self "suppose I would get an answer like this, would I be offended?" Than there would be less struggle.
As we all know, a lot of treads were closed because of too much emotions, being nasty to eachother and so on.
No need for newbies to be completely assimilated, you are you and I am I, sometimes we agree and sometimes we disagree, that's quite normal, on a board and in real life, we can talk about the disagreement in a civil way and even if I'm not agreeing, you deserve respect for your point of view and for the one you are.
On the other hand, you should give some respect to the other one too.
Maybe there is still disagree but than you have a good conversation.
When one is giving names to the other one, there will be a different reaction, a bit more nasty, and we all have bad times.
For the record, don't be disrespected, your opinion is still valuable
Quote from: MsDazzler on December 25, 2011, 10:19:40 PM
Honestly, I would think this site would be much more boring if we were all Pollyanna Sunshines, "yes, madam" posts, and afraid to disagree.
If you think the people here are "argumentative", just check out a particular "->-bleeped-<-" forum that is well known on the Internet. You'll rush back here so fast before you know it, lol. People there are totally egoistic, narcissitic, catty, and competitive - and totally eat any man alive who posts there, heh.
+1
Quote from: annette on December 24, 2011, 06:28:43 AM
So, it seems it was all for nothing.
I try to ignore those yelling gayscene self proclaimed woman, they feel strong because they are a part of the umbrella.
I think it's an abuse of the umbrella, but that's the Tos.
So what's the gayscene? Explain.
I don't give it a lot of thought - if the culture of a board is attractive to me i participate more and if it's not, then i participate less.
That doesn't mean the board community is wrong and i'm right, just a personality-mesh sort of thing.
I've often heard it said that without newcomers a board will die - i don't think that's entirely true. I post on a little forum that has 150 or so active members (out of, maybe a thousand in all) and probably 2/3 of that core have been there from the beginning - some seven years now and will be eight in the spring. there's not a lot of new poster growth but the old guard is incredibly loyal to each other.
so it can work either way, IMO
what does happen though, if a forum community has been around for a while, is that the board develops it's own "culture" and sometimes there's a poor reaction when the culture shifts. that can be because of the demographics of the population shifted, or some rift developed over some internet drama, or whatever. But still, forum communities have a certain personality and it's fair to say that such shifts are natural, but it's also fair to say that it's natural for people to note with displeasure when the shift is away from their own comfort zone.
I wish I could spend more time here, but frankly I already waste too much time online when i should be writing, and i'm resolved to shift that balance back in the other direction in the coming months. That shouldn't be seen as a reflection of my opinion of the community though.
I assume that not everyone who's grown more distant from this place has done so for reasons related to the board itself,. but due to their own circumstances.
On the current subject, i'll only get on the soapbox to say one thing: I hear the voice of the "young uns" mocking the "old folks" and proudly doing things their own way, and i respect anyone's right to express their personality freely...but i would say this - tip your hat to the "old folks" who came before. The community has survived and grown for a long time because of the way they chose to do things, their's no harm in acknowledging the value of that culture while you are about injecting the fresh blood into it.
Quote from: Tammy Hope on December 27, 2011, 03:53:20 AM
...but i would say this - tip your hat to the "old folks" who came before. The community has survived and grown for a long time because of the way they chose to do things, their's no harm in acknowledging the value of that culture while you are about injecting the fresh blood into it.
Would I rather consult Rene Richards or Calpurnia Addams? Being older doesn't guarantee wisdom. The boomers surely weren't a wise generation, as they aged and I think that applies to the first US trans generation. I think a lot of the older generation were damaging overall. I think the young generation is more into getting the world to accept us as trans as opposed to the dream of stealth. That is so much more important. We are also much more tolerant of other people's belief systems.
really?
Quote from: annette on December 27, 2011, 10:01:02 AM
really?
+1
Yah
The need for & age gap gets confused with the knowledge gap. Anyone my age and especially older that did not transition in there 20's are accused many times of our desire or need to transition wasn't as strong.
That's BSWhen I was in my late teens I was obsessed with getting my hands on anything relating to how I felt. Much of what I found was drag queen, ->-bleeped-<- fetish, she male or just down right porn.
It wasn't until the woman like Renee Richards (love her/hate her) that I was aware that I could do something. I can not believe anyone would bash the people that established the treatment and
RIGHTS that you have today.
If it was not fort the Internet I may not be transitioning as I speak but if I had the Internet in my teens or 20's I know damn well I wouldn't be on this forum as a pre op. When I was 23 I was minutes away from the start of my transition but because of lack of information my affirmation wasn't as strong as it is now. I don't regret my life I have had since that day, I had the chance to be loved and have children.
I will admit I was never and still am not as strong as the woman that came before me. I would love to see anyone of you transition without hrt, lazer, electrolysis, ffs, new technology in makeup, or other procedure and the Internet. Try going full time without access to most of this. I know some have and some still do. Some may have a good start already and some just have the strength or maybe drive I didn't.
Quote from: Mahsa the disco shark on December 27, 2011, 03:58:06 AM
I think the young generation is more into getting the world to accept us as trans as opposed to the dream of stealth. That is so much more important. We are also much more tolerant of other people's belief systems.
My experience thus far is that neither "generation" is better or worse as a whole than the other. That said, it does seem that the younger people with whom I've interacted offline do seem to more readily accept transpersons. But also in my experience, the younger people online are less likely to be as open as those who I've interacted with IRL.
And, as you mentioned, Mahsa, on another thread here the concept of pursuing transition as a means of discovering and living one's "true self" is something to laugh at. This does not seem to me to be very tolerant of what I believe. Or, did I miss something?
I've encountered a great deal of flexibility and inflexibility in transperons of all ages, both online and off. What I've experienced is that if I need support these days, I usually turn to the cisfolks in my life first, and Susan's second. But, Susan's is a message board made up of people who come and go. There are times when it seems like a very supportive site, and times when it is not. Just like the communities I've interacted with in "the real world."
Quote from: Tammy Hope on December 27, 2011, 03:53:20 AM
I've often heard it said that without newcomers a board will die - i don't think that's entirely true. I post on a little forum that has 150 or so active members (out of, maybe a thousand in all) and probably 2/3 of that core have been there from the beginning - some seven years now and will be eight in the spring. there's not a lot of new poster growth but the old guard is incredibly loyal to each other.
So that is an irony - people are lamenting other people who are long gone but you say they are still here, heh.
Quote from: Shades O'Grey on December 27, 2011, 10:41:29 AM
And, as you mentioned, Mahsa, on another thread here the concept of pursuing transition as a means of discovering and living one's "true self" is something to laugh at. This does not seem to me to be very tolerant of what I believe. Or, did I miss something?
It's hard for emotions to fully be conveyed through digital text.
When peoples concepts of "true selves" are used to bring other people who don't choose srs or feel totally trans are used...then it becomes hilarious. Society as a whole thinks we're all the same... No matter how well the illusion of "passing" is.
It's 'cause I have a hell of a roller coaster in my head. Makes me come and go, be nice, be a complete psycho (gifts me with months of stress...) What do you want? I'm in puberty!
Well, I am one of the older transitioners. I had submerged my early life experiences so far that they didn't fully reform until my late 50s when I realized I had more than a 'lingerie fetish' since I was 12.
I know several women and men who transitioned in the 1970s and 80s. Some are national names, like Jamison Green. Some are quietly living their lives. Some are authors or transactivists at local to national levels. I have put my national level organizational work behind me and, at 74 and 11 years post-op, devote my support efforts to Susan's Place and ElderTG.
In my 16 years of community involvement, I've worked with ages 15 through 80+. Most of the transelders are fairly open about their history. All but one or two are happy that they are living their truth. Many of the youngest are, not surprisingly, impatient to transition, not yet knowing that it is most often not an overnight action.
Rarely have I come across transphobia within the transgender community until the relatively recent crop of 'We are the only real transsexuals' came along to denigrate any who were not on their self-appointed 'perfect path'. I hate to spoil their delusion, but there is no perfect path. We each have our own path to follow, mistakes, warts, and all.
There are almost as many shades of transgender people as there are transgender people. Would I want to be clubbing with a bunch of bearded drag queens? No, but I don't deny them their role in the transgender community. We are all different, but we are all alike in the unenlightened transphobia from the religious and political bigots who see us all as their way to money and power.
Have older transfolk made some mistakes along the way? Sure, but are most of us relatively happy in our journeys? I believe so. Have younger transfolks made or will make mistakes in their journeys? Of course. Is life perfect? No. Is life good? An emphatic YES.
So let's not bash generations in the new year. Let's not bash the differences among us but rather celebrate the diversity God so loves and creates.
Hau'oli Makahiki Hou. Happy New Year.
Robyn the Elder
By feeling of comfort...do you mean people not lying to each other?
Quote from: Mahsa the disco shark on December 27, 2011, 12:53:55 PM
It's hard for emotions to fully be conveyed through digital text.
When peoples concepts of "true selves" are used to bring other people who don't choose srs or feel totally trans are used...then it becomes hilarious. Society as a whole thinks we're all the same... No matter how well the illusion of "passing" is.
Thank you for the clarification.
I want to call Shenanigans on this whole thread. The O/P says she has been here 7.5 months, but registered on October 13th. Why don't you tell everyone how you racked up a bunch of negative reputation points not caring at all about anyone being comfortable, then deleted your account and came back as Lildevilofprada? Sorry to call you out, but you aren't being upfront. Hugs, Devlyn
Quote from: LilDevilOfPrada on December 24, 2011, 04:43:29 AM
Well i have been here only 7.5 months but in this short time i have seen many many experienced and kind womyn and men leave. I mean i used to log on speak my pain and would of been comfortable with life in a matter of posts. I find these days that i have a subconscious instinct to not post my pain because i am more likely to be attacked these days :(
Say what you will but any of you who were members 7+ months ago should understand what i mean.
Just saying when those who have seen and learnt leave this website a part of it is destroyed forever and has only been replaced by those who seek to see and learn.
I wish the joke filled atmosphere would return so i could gain interest in posting again:) haha
I know exactly how you feel. I have often been attacked in a couple of 'other' trans forums all based in the U.K, especially If I was having a bad time. Rather than give me support they chose to attack me instead. I'm pleased to say this is not my experience in Susans and I rate this forum as the most open minded and the best in it's field.
Quote from: Mahsa the disco shark on December 27, 2011, 03:58:06 AM
Would I rather consult Rene Richards or Calpurnia Addams? Being older doesn't guarantee wisdom. The boomers surely weren't a wise generation, as they aged and I think that applies to the first US trans generation. I think a lot of the older generation were damaging overall. I think the young generation is more into getting the world to accept us as trans as opposed to the dream of stealth. That is so much more important. We are also much more tolerant of other people's belief systems.
this is exactly what i mean, and exactly what is off-putting:
"you codgers sit down and shut up while the young folks tell you how you were wrong"
It's arrogant and condescending.
Every generation contributes value, every generation screws some of it up, the next generation is tasked with filtering the one from the other, and those who come after them will have to do it again.
There's nothing wrong with acknowledging that some good was done before YOUR generation came along (whatever generation "your") applies to.
It also helps to remember that within this particular culture, in many respects those who are now considered the "old school" generation (and even though I'm nearing 50, I don't count folks like myself you are just now transitioning in that generation) were, in a sense, the founding generation.
Certainly their were trans people before 1970, but very few as a percentage that had surgery and virtually none who didn't strive to maintain the lowest profile possible.
the post-Stonewall generation was, as far as the public eye was concerned, the first waves of trans people.
then, after the internet increased connectivity exponentially and gave a great many more of as (particularly those outside the major cities) a sense of just how much they were not alone, that to me is/was the second wave.
Call the first one 1970-1995 and the second wave 1995 to the present.
Now, arguably, the third wave might be rising in those who take their stand on defying the binary gender structure altogether, rather than as most previous trans folks had done, simply seeking to be a "conformist" on the other side of the binary.
it seems to me that the third-wave folks (if i may call them that within the context of my own point) have taken on the classic "hippie attitude" which amounts to "never trust anyone over 30"
Just as the self-defined "radicals" of the sixties mistakenly believed the invented sex and activism and so forth, and by definition scorned anything that came before them, so it seems to happen a lot among the younger crowd (3rd Wave) within the trans community
Yall might fell that's justified, but surely you can understand why everyone else would find it off-putting.
Quote from: Just Shelly on December 27, 2011, 10:35:17 AM
+1
Yah
The need for & age gap gets confused with the knowledge gap. Anyone my age and especially older that did not transition in there 20's are accused many times of our desire or need to transition wasn't as strong. That's BS
When I was in my late teens I was obsessed with getting my hands on anything relating to how I felt. Much of what I found was drag queen, ->-bleeped-<- fetish, she male or just down right porn.
It wasn't until the woman like Renee Richards (love her/hate her) that I was aware that I could do something. I can not believe anyone would bash the people that established the treatment and RIGHTS that you have today.
If it was not fort the Internet I may not be transitioning as I speak but if I had the Internet in my teens or 20's I know damn well I wouldn't be on this forum as a pre op. When I was 23 I was minutes away from the start of my transition but because of lack of information my affirmation wasn't as strong as it is now. I don't regret my life I have had since that day, I had the chance to be loved and have children.
I will admit I was never and still am not as strong as the woman that came before me. I would love to see anyone of you transition without hrt, lazer, electrolysis, ffs, new technology in makeup, or other procedure and the Internet. Try going full time without access to most of this. I know some have and some still do. Some may have a good start already and some just have the strength or maybe drive I didn't.
Hear! Hear!
Quote from: Tammy Hope on December 29, 2011, 01:47:04 AM
It's arrogant and condescending.
Memo: I am arrogant and condescending. I make no apologies for it.
Sorry, I am not here for your feeling of comfort or anyone elses. If I like something, I am gonna say something...If not, I say anyways. I have a realistic perspective of transition, something I feel a lot of the transcommunity fails at. We see things through rose colored glasses...
Hum, "arrogant and condescending" eh? --- Sounds like me in mostly my early days 14 --- 54... maybe still now?!
You may realize that it is the coin's flipside, or overcompensation, to insecurity and low self-esteem... not that it ever feel quite that way. You in control, and now to hell with the rest of 'em all. Right!
So, you may well feel unapologetic about it all, I did.
Will it help?
No one much really cares a dam, as you are in no need of any comfort or support, as you say, it be just fine also.
Funny though you spend so much time over here...
Entertainment I guess then? And that be just fine also.
I'm entertained too, most often.
Just thoughtful about young guns... hum
Axélle
Quote from: MsDazzler on December 27, 2011, 11:54:40 AM
So that is an irony - people are lamenting other people who are long gone but you say they are still here, heh.
Where?
I said on the OTHER board they stayed. I didn't say anything about the population HERE in that regard.
I certainly miss several of the folks who were most active when I joined.
----------------------------
Time for one of my patented rambling digressions into trivia, skip this bit if you like.
Looking at the member list, there were 36 embers (who haven't been deleted or something) of this board at the end of 2005
(I have no idea of there was a previous site which migrated here without carrying over membership dates, i'm just going by what's available)
One year later there were 100 members.
Of those original 36, 10 didn't even last long enough to reach 100 posts (no way to measure lurking without access to the admin panel) and 17 reached at least 500
Of that 100, 30 never reached 100 posts. Only 10 of the 74 who registered in 2006 reached 1,000 posts. 24 of the first 100 reached that level so far.
so the REALLY old school core membership is tiny - and one has to wonder how many of those 100 are still active at all. I'll bet it's shockingly low. I don't read every board here regularly, but there are only about a dozen of those names familiar to me.
200 more members joined in 2007, almost half of those (99) never reached 100 posts. Only 22 reached 1,000 posts.
I won't keep counting on that theme but the pattern is obvious, many join, few stay (maybe 10-15%) and even some of those drift away in time. It's like that for any board and that alone is not necessarily a sign of a "bad vibe" or whatever.
Ranked by post count, I've the 63rd most posts (out of 9,216 registered members in just over a year and a half. And I'm not remotely as prolific here as I am elsewhere. Only about 1/3 of those above me are names i instantly recognize so i assume a good many have moved on - some of the names I do recognize no longer post to any noticeable extent. I'm not QUITE obsessive enough to post on each name and seen when their last post was.
(another interesting bit of trivia, Masha is already #39 having registers in September, which is astonishing. the next newest one of the 38 above her was a full year - almost 14 months - earlier and the next "youngest" before that was almost 2 years older. i'm not quite sure what to make of that, lol)
By contrast, just below me at #69 is VeryGnawty who was here from the very start. Kind of anecdotal but basically the idea is that the core group really isn't very large even here.
There's probably just enough o the new members who "stick" for a few years to balance off the "old-timers" who fade away.
but there's nothing really wrong with missing those you don't get to interact with much anymore.
I particularly miss K8 myself.
Some other statistical trivia (which is virtually useless but I'm wasting time on it anyway):
of 9,216 registered members, only 3,793 have more than one post.
Of those 3,793, only 2,371 have as many as 10
Of those 2,371, only 1,673 reached 25
Of those 1,673, only 1,177 reached 50
of those 1,177 only 816 reached 100
of those 816 only 527 reached 200
of those 527, a mere 236 reached 500
and of those 236, only 116 reached 1,000
so out of 2,371 would bother to stay long enough to reach 10 posts, less than 5% stayed to reach 1,000, about 10% reached 500, about 22% reached 200.
there's probably some sophisticated pattern there I can't put my finger on.
:)
Quote from: Devlyn on December 28, 2011, 06:29:51 AM
I want to call Shenanigans on this whole thread. The O/P says she has been here 7.5 months, but registered on October 13th. Why don't you tell everyone how you racked up a bunch of negative reputation points not caring at all about anyone being comfortable, then deleted your account and came back as Lildevilofprada? Sorry to call you out, but you aren't being upfront. Hugs, Devlyn
an interesting observation
Quote from: Mahsa the disco shark on December 29, 2011, 01:50:18 AM
Memo: I am arrogant and condescending. I make no apologies for it.
Sorry, I am not here for your feeling of comfort or anyone elses. If I like something, I am gonna say something...If not, I say anyways. I have a realistic perspective of transition, something I feel a lot of the transcommunity fails at. We see things through rose colored glasses...
My point was not to say "do you realize how you sound?"
My point was to say "surely one who chooses those traits must be aware of the distaste others will have for it"
If a poster/person decides the like being the sort of person that many people will find distasteful, I suppose that's their privilege. Every board has them.
It's not very much good for anything but gratifying the ego though. I can't see a bit of difference in that attitude here, and the Fundy preacher I've been debating elsewhere who thinks that all theology is to be measured for correctness against HIS theology, and if you disagree then you are simply apostate and need to get right.
Quote from: Axélle-Michélle on December 29, 2011, 03:01:29 AM
Hum, "arrogant and condescending" eh? --- Sounds like me in mostly my early days 14 --- 54... maybe still now?!
You may realize that it is the coin's flipside, or overcompensation, to insecurity and low self-esteem... not that it ever feel quite that way. You in control, and now to hell with the rest of 'em all. Right!
So, you may well feel unapologetic about it all, I did.
Will it help?
No one much really cares a dam, as you are in no need of any comfort or support, as you say, it be just fine also.
Funny though you spend so much time over here...
Entertainment I guess then? And that be just fine also.
I'm entertained too, most often.
Just thoughtful about young guns... hum
Axélle
it is a bit of an interesting point. Blow into town with a self professed arrogant and condescending attitude towards people you are convinced offer you nothing of value to respect or learn from and proceed to rack up 2,000+ posts in little more than three months among all these folks who are not as smart as you are?
What could possibly be the motivation for that?
I don't mean to sound bitchy about it but it does seem like someone who has their sh** together so much more than the rest of us wouldn't want to dirty their hands with the less enlightened.
Quote from: Devlyn on December 28, 2011, 06:29:51 AM
I want to call Shenanigans on this whole thread. The O/P says she has been here 7.5 months, but registered on October 13th. Why don't you tell everyone how you racked up a bunch of negative reputation points not caring at all about anyone being comfortable, then deleted your account and came back as Lildevilofprada? Sorry to call you out, but you aren't being upfront. Hugs, Devlyn
All to do with: ...
lost its feeling of comfort?Posting is ALSO a kind of a growth experience.
As my previous consulting team had it: "Grow - or go"
BTW, I had to go... :-)
Axélle
Well, I finally locked it.
Why?
This is Susan's. It is a support site for people with gender identity problems. Susan took it over to make it a more accessible site for people like us. She keeps that vision.
What is that vision?
To enable an area where people with terrible social stigma can meet, talk discuss and help each other.
It has not worked well, IT HAS WORKED MAGNIFICENTLY.
It has worked so well that many of the girls and boys who started out on this site have left. You know why?
Because the support from this site and their friends have gave them the confidence to move forward. Some stayed for a while and then realised that life had moved on. They could no longer argue or discuss with people who are too frightened to go forward. They were in NO WAY unsympathetic, it just gets grinding, and we move on to the next flow of people.
As staff I see the bizarre and the rude and the mad and the sad, and yes some of us have spent hours trying to talk a gun out of someone's mouth. Some we win, I still hear the sounds for those that I lost.
We are all different. There is no agenda, some of the post op girls just find it too weird to be here after a while. I can understand why.
They get insulted.
They insult back
The cycle starts and ends and then we poor fools, the Moderators, have to ban our friends.
Goddess that breaks my heart. Banning a person who has talked me down, because she has been riled by a pretence of a person. But I follow the rules.
I keep the site running for you.
I get pleasure from being a Mod and I have made many many friends, and some of you know that it has given me an opportunity to do stuff that is probably unique in your lives.
That is what Susan's is about.
I am not Susan's but I'm a part of it. A very proud part of it. A very humble part of it.
If you don't like how this site posts, well post better. If you want to post porn go somewhere else. If you do not want to support people, leave. I will shed no tears.
If you want help I will be with you every step of the way.
As I know every true member of this site will be as well.
I am here.
I am Cindy James and I have had enough of the crap.