Anyone else find Susan's has lost its feeling of comfort ?

[Devlyn]

I also agree completely. Hugs, Devlyn

[MsDazzler]

So the point of this thread is.... to blast all the newbies for not behaving like the previous posters? to make us feel bad? there is always a turnover - roll with the new times, changes. Don't stay in the past.

And without the newcomers, this site would die. heh. You need new visitors everyday to keep a site alive.

I feel totally disrespected by this judgmental thread 

[Anatta]

Kia Ora,

For the most part Susan's is what the individual makes of it... In other words it 'is' as it 'is' and the individual projects their personal likes and dislikes into the mix...It's lost nothing and gained nothing..."IMHO"...

Metta Zenda

[fionabell]

From the "transgenders" I've met in person after seeing them on another site, I've learned to approach with extreme prejudice.

[Just Shelly]

I usually just ignore the BS posts and I definatly don't respond to a post I may have an indifference too.

It does seem that any type of debate is thwarted if it isn't in agreement to the current demographics of  the members that post most frequently.

This site isn't much different then most forums trans or not. A forum is what Cindy said, its only as good and useful as to what the people put into it.

I think everyone should just use what I say when my children say something stupid.


Quit talking like a sausage !

[Amalina]

As an extreme newbie to Susan's I haven't noticed a lot of the argumentative and unsupportive stuff yet personally.

Really I'm quite thankful for those that have responded to me in the other threads, I lurked for a while at a few sites and this seemed the most understanding and friendly of them to attempt to talk about things I would never dare speak aloud. I took a leap of faith of sorts and haven't been disappointed yet in the people here new or old.

Being a vet of online forums from pretty far back, as well as admin and moderating a few over the years, I have to agree that all forums change and flow different over time. A lot of them have cycles, usually in topic themes popping up with new batches of regulars every few months, always a change sparked in the bulk of posters coming and going with a handful of constant older regulars. It's just how the net seems to work.

Not much you can do except to do your best not to get dragged down under the bridges with the trolls and as has been said lead by example and report.

[MsDazzler]

Seriously - how are the newcomers supposed to feel about this thread complaining about them? it is sort of hypocritical of the veterans to complain about them; why don't you roll out the red carpet while you are at it? lol

[Mahsa Tezani]

Seriously - how are the newcomers supposed to feel about this thread complaining about them? it is sort of hypocritical of the veterans to complain about them; why don't you roll out the red carpet while you are at it? lol

The transcommunity is constantly evolving. Lately young folk have taken over the board.

You know, the older folks around here are goin "those damn kids... dagnabbit!"

[Embla]

Seriously - how are the newcomers supposed to feel about this thread complaining about them? it is sort of hypocritical of the veterans to complain about them; why don't you roll out the red carpet while you are at it? lol

I don't believe the OP was complaining about the newcomers per se, but more along the lines of musing that something has changed, and something is missing, etc, from what the place once was.  As a newcomer, I certainly do not take offense, if anything I understand the sentimentality of longing for things of the past.  Cindy IMO was right on by saying the place is what you make of it.

[fionabell]

Web forums change all the time. This one's just a nasty one now. Nothing to worry about

[annette]

So the point of this thread is.... to blast all the newbies for not behaving like the previous posters? to make us feel bad? there is always a turnover - roll with the new times, changes. Don't stay in the past.

And without the newcomers, this site would die. heh. You need new visitors everyday to keep a site alive.

I feel totally disrespected by this judgmental thread 

There is no need for MsDazzler.
The meaning of the tread is that we can have a good time together or a bad time.
We had a very good time, friendly and supporting.
Supporting doesn't mean, lying to eachother, hell no, you can always say your opinion, but the way people react is all about the words who are used.
If one is reading the post again and just should ask by her/his self "suppose I would get an answer like this, would I be offended?" Than there would be less struggle.
As we all know, a lot of treads were closed because of too much emotions, being nasty to eachother and so on.
No need for newbies to be completely assimilated, you are you and I am I, sometimes we agree and sometimes we disagree, that's quite normal, on a board and in real life, we can talk about the disagreement in a civil way and even if I'm not agreeing, you deserve respect for your point of view and for the one you are.
On the other hand, you should give some respect to the other one too.
Maybe there is still disagree but than you have a good conversation.
When one is giving names to the other one, there will be a different reaction, a bit more nasty, and we all have bad times.
For the record, don't be disrespected, your opinion is still valuable

[Mahsa Tezani]

Honestly, I would think this site would be much more boring if we were all Pollyanna Sunshines, "yes, madam" posts, and afraid to disagree.

If you think the people here are "argumentative", just check out a particular "->-bleeped-<-" forum that is well known on the Internet. You'll rush back here so fast before you know it, lol. People there are totally egoistic, narcissitic, catty, and competitive - and totally eat any man alive who posts there, heh.

+1

[Mahsa Tezani]

So, it seems it was all for nothing.
I try to ignore those yelling gayscene self proclaimed woman, they feel strong because they are a part of the umbrella.
I think it's an abuse of the umbrella, but that's the Tos.

So what's the gayscene? Explain.

[Tammy Hope]

I don't give it a lot of thought - if the culture of a board is attractive to me i participate more and if it's not, then i participate less.

That doesn't mean the board community is wrong and i'm right, just a personality-mesh sort of thing.

I've often heard it said that without newcomers a board will die - i don't think that's entirely true. I post on a little forum that has 150 or so active members (out of, maybe a thousand in all) and probably 2/3 of that core have been there from the beginning - some seven years now and will be eight in the spring. there's not a lot of new poster growth but the old guard is incredibly loyal to each other.

so it can work either way, IMO

what does happen though, if a forum community has been around for a while, is that the board develops it's own "culture" and sometimes there's a poor reaction when the culture shifts. that can be because of the demographics of the population shifted, or some rift developed over some internet drama, or whatever. But still, forum communities have a certain personality and it's fair to say that such shifts are natural, but it's also fair to say that it's natural for people to note with displeasure when the shift is away from their own comfort zone.

I wish I could spend more time here, but frankly I already waste too much time online when i should be writing, and i'm resolved to shift that balance back in the other direction in the coming months. That shouldn't be seen as a reflection of my opinion of the community though.

I assume that not everyone who's grown more distant from this place has done so for reasons related to the board itself,. but due to their own circumstances.

On the current subject, i'll only get on the soapbox to say one thing: I hear the voice of the "young uns" mocking the "old folks" and proudly doing things their own way, and i respect anyone's right to express their personality freely...but i would say this - tip your hat to the "old folks" who came before. The community has survived and grown for a long time because of the way they chose to do things, their's no harm in acknowledging the value of that culture while you are about injecting the fresh blood into it.

[Mahsa Tezani]

...but i would say this - tip your hat to the "old folks" who came before. The community has survived and grown for a long time because of the way they chose to do things, their's no harm in acknowledging the value of that culture while you are about injecting the fresh blood into it.

Would I rather consult Rene Richards or Calpurnia Addams? Being older doesn't guarantee wisdom. The boomers surely weren't a wise generation, as they aged and I think that applies to the first US trans generation. I think a lot of the older generation were damaging overall. I think the young generation is more into getting the world to accept us as trans as opposed to the dream of stealth. That is so much more important. We are also much more tolerant of other people's belief systems.

[annette]

really?

[Just Shelly]

really?

+1
Yah

The need for & age gap gets confused with the knowledge gap. Anyone my age and especially older that did not transition in there 20's are accused many times of our desire or need to transition wasn't as strong. That's BS

When I was in my late teens I was obsessed with getting my hands on anything relating to how I felt. Much of what I found was drag queen, ->-bleeped-<- fetish, she male or just down right porn.

It wasn't until the woman like Renee Richards (love her/hate her) that I was aware that I could do something. I can not believe anyone would bash the people that established the treatment and RIGHTS that you have today.

If it was not fort the Internet I may not be transitioning as I speak but if I had the Internet in my teens or 20's I know damn well I wouldn't be on this forum as a pre op. When I was 23 I was minutes away from the start of my transition but because of lack of information my affirmation wasn't as strong as  it is now. I don't regret my life I have had since that day, I had the chance to be loved and have children.

I will admit I was never and still am not as strong as the woman that came before me. I would love to see anyone of you transition without hrt, lazer, electrolysis, ffs, new technology in makeup, or other procedure and the Internet. Try going full time without access to most of this. I know some have and some still do. Some may have a good start already and some just have the strength or maybe drive I didn't.

[Constance]

I think the young generation is more into getting the world to accept us as trans as opposed to the dream of stealth. That is so much more important. We are also much more tolerant of other people's belief systems.

My experience thus far is that neither "generation" is better or worse as a whole than the other. That said, it does seem that the younger people with whom I've interacted offline do seem to more readily accept transpersons. But also in my experience, the younger people online are less likely to be as open as those who I've interacted with IRL.

And, as you mentioned, Mahsa, on another thread here the concept of pursuing transition as a means of discovering and living one's "true self" is something to laugh at. This does not seem to me to be very tolerant of what I believe. Or, did I miss something?

I've encountered a great deal of flexibility and inflexibility in transperons of all ages, both online and off. What I've experienced is that if I need support these days, I usually turn to the cisfolks in my life first, and Susan's second. But, Susan's is a message board made up of people who come and go. There are times when it seems like a very supportive site, and times when it is not. Just like the communities I've interacted with in "the real world."

[MsDazzler]

I've often heard it said that without newcomers a board will die - i don't think that's entirely true. I post on a little forum that has 150 or so active members (out of, maybe a thousand in all) and probably 2/3 of that core have been there from the beginning - some seven years now and will be eight in the spring. there's not a lot of new poster growth but the old guard is incredibly loyal to each other.

So that is an irony - people are lamenting other people who are long gone but you say they are still here, heh.

[Mahsa Tezani]

And, as you mentioned, Mahsa, on another thread here the concept of pursuing transition as a means of discovering and living one's "true self" is something to laugh at. This does not seem to me to be very tolerant of what I believe. Or, did I miss something?

It's hard for emotions to fully be conveyed through digital text.

When peoples concepts of "true selves" are used to bring other people who don't choose srs or feel totally trans are used...then it becomes hilarious. Society as a whole thinks we're all the same... No matter how well the illusion of "passing" is.