Sorry, I'll have to be "heterosexist" here and pose a question that is probably only relevant to the hetero ladies here, not the lesbian ones. :)
From a heterosexual woman to another one, I am sure you have noticed that men can vary enormously in their reactions to your trans status. Some get violent, some get fascinated, some get disinterested, some fall in love.
What qualities do you think a hetero man need to possess to make him more likely to accept you for being trans?
I can think of one quality already - If the hetero man is already involved in the LGBT community or hitting the gay bars, that is a good sign that he will be more accepting of you and possibly even interested in you (as you ll hardly have any competition from other ladies in a gay bar, lol).
Desperation?
Quote from: Jaime on December 27, 2011, 12:47:44 PM
Desperation?
Kia Ora Jamie,
::) That cracked me right up ;D But none the less true for some no doubt....
Metta Zenda :)
Many of the men I've been with are actively dating. I am just another girl to them, if they know or don't know. Since they are 30+, things are more "I want a commitment" type of thing.
I think some men are more open to it than others. But I bet every hetero single man has flirted, dated, picked up on a ts without knowing. It's a matter of how they react. Straight men's heterosexuality is a fragile thing. I've yet to meet a man who sticks around after he puts the clues together or I come out to him.
Some men are into it, you know because a lot of drag queens look hotter than real chicks(REALLY!) and they put GG's to shame, etc.
Quote from: MsDazzler on December 27, 2011, 12:32:08 PM
I can think of one quality already - If the hetero man is already involved in the LGBT community or hitting the gay bars, that is a good sign that he will be more accepting of you and possibly even interested in you (as you ll hardly have any competition from other ladies in a gay bar, lol).
Kia Ora Ms Daz,
::) Now I'm aware there are places of socialising where gay, trans and straight people meet and mingle, in my early twenties I used to go to a number of bars and clubs in Sydney that were 'people' friendly... But I'm somewhat intrigued ...Why would a so called 'straight' guy be involved in the 'LGBT' community and frequent bars that are 'specifically' gay ? Or do you mean bars that are open to diversity[like the ones I mentioned above] ? What came to mind when I first read your post was, they must be "on the down low"...
Metta Zenda :)
Kia Ora,
::) "What makes a man more likely to accept you as trans?"
::) If you look somewhat like your target gender, that is, your appearance does not greatly challenge the observer's concept of gender and you have other qualities that appeal to his senses, and or he's a new age, laid back kind of guy, comfortable in his own skin so to speak, then it's more than likely acceptance of ones congenital condition 'should' be guaranteed...
Metta Zenda :)
They'd have to have somewhat of a thick skin to put up with comments from their friends if you are known as being trans. That's a lot of the issue where I live, even if someone doesn't know and wants to go out with me, someone will inevitably "warn" them, you know, kind of like a public service. :rolleyes:
Quote from: Zenda on December 27, 2011, 01:48:55 PM
Kia Ora,
::) "What makes a man more likely to accept you as trans?"
::) If you look somewhat like your target gender, that is, your appearance does not greatly challenge the observer's concept of gender and you have other qualities that appeal to his senses, and or he's a new age, laid back kind of guy, comfortable in his own skin so to speak, then it's more than likely acceptance of ones congenital condition 'should' be guaranteed...
Metta Zenda :)
Pretty much echoes my sentiments and actual experiences.
Quote from: Zenda on December 27, 2011, 01:48:55 PM
qualities that appeal to his senses, and or he's a new age, laid back kind of guy, comfortable in his own skin so to speak, then it's more than likely acceptance of ones congenital condition 'should' be guaranteed...
I has a condition?
I thought I was a femmie gay boy that went too far and here I just thought I was a diva.
Someone confident in who they are (and presents well) will be surrounded by people who accept them for who they are and what they like.
Because they are confident in themselves, they will be open about themselves.... which means those who have a problem will have moved on, and those who respect them will still be there.
This is why I will only date a guy who is open about themselves (like I am). They don't need to worry about work or their friends making fun of them or peer pressure... because... they don't really deal too much with those things.
This type of guy will be able to openly date me as they would anyone else. No one they know is going to try to mock them (because, this type of person wouldn't put up with that). They demand respect, and get it.
All of my friends will stand up for trans people (even though they are all 'straight'). They would never try to mock me for dating someone who isn't their type. I know first hand what type of life a confident and open person has around them. Even relative strangers at work or school would never start mocking me or my personal life knowingly (there have been a couple instances of people making negative comment about trans people...which was followed by me lecturing them... and I'm very confident they won't be making the same mistake again).
So, the type of man that is more likely to accept me as trans? Well, basically a confident guy who likes what he sees. If he is interested in me, he is going to go after me... he isn't going to worry about what people would say...
Rabbit is basically saying an ALPHA MALE.
Quote from: Jaime on December 27, 2011, 12:47:44 PM
Desperation?
lol, true - that is one possible reason. Applies only to ugly, fat, and balding guys, eh?
Quote from: Zenda on December 27, 2011, 01:19:15 PM
Kia Ora Ms Daz,
::) Now I'm aware there are places of socialising where gay, trans and straight people meet and mingle, in my early twenties I used to go to a number of bars and clubs in Sydney that were 'people' friendly... But I'm somewhat intrigued ...Why would a so called 'straight' guy be involved in the 'LGBT' community and frequent bars that are 'specifically' gay ? Or do you mean bars that are open to diversity[like the ones I mentioned above] ? What came to mind when I first read your post was, they must be "on the down low"...
Metta Zenda :)
Ever heard of "ally"? Straight people do get involved in the LGBT community and go out to gay bars as allies. :) That kind of open-mindness prefaces the possibility of being open to transgender women too, IMHO.
Quote from: Rabbit on December 27, 2011, 03:02:08 PM
Someone confident in who they are (and presents well) will be surrounded by people who accept them for who they are and what they like.
Because they are confident in themselves, they will be open about themselves.... which means those who have a problem will have moved on, and those who respect them will still be there.
This is why I will only date a guy who is open about themselves (like I am). They don't need to worry about work or their friends making fun of them or peer pressure... because... they don't really deal too much with those things.
This type of guy will be able to openly date me as they would anyone else. No one they know is going to try to mock them (because, this type of person wouldn't put up with that). They demand respect, and get it.
All of my friends will stand up for trans people (even though they are all 'straight'). They would never try to mock me for dating someone who isn't their type. I know first hand what type of life a confident and open person has around them. Even relative strangers at work or school would never start mocking me or my personal life knowingly (there have been a couple instances of people making negative comment about trans people...which was followed by me lecturing them... and I'm very confident they won't be making the same mistake again).
So, the type of man that is more likely to accept me as trans? Well, basically a confident guy who likes what he sees. If he is interested in me, he is going to go after me... he isn't going to worry about what people would say...
So to sum it up, another quality the man would need to have is to have high self-confidence?
Quote from: Zenda on December 27, 2011, 01:48:55 PM
Kia Ora,
::) "What makes a man more likely to accept you as trans?"
::) If you look somewhat like your target gender, that is, your appearance does not greatly challenge the observer's concept of gender and you have other qualities that appeal to his senses, and or he's a new age, laid back kind of guy, comfortable in his own skin so to speak, then it's more than likely acceptance of ones congenital condition 'should' be guaranteed...
Metta Zenda :)
Aint that true! The prettier you are, the more "feminine" you are, and the stronger your female presentation comes off as, it will up your chances of being accepted by a straight guy.
Sounds like a question to ask Tigger actually. Why not ask him? ;)
a womb.
Quote from: fionabell on December 27, 2011, 04:33:44 PM
a womb.
Heh, good one! I assume you mean if the MAN has the womb right? ;) Otherwise there'd be confusion!
Quote from: Keaira on December 27, 2011, 04:15:41 PM
Sounds like a question to ask Tigger actually. Why not ask him? ;)
Tigger who?
Quote from: Assoluta on December 27, 2011, 05:31:18 PM
Heh, good one! I assume you mean if the MAN has the womb right? ;) Otherwise there'd be confusion!
Not really. You can have srs and still look clockable trans.
Quote from: MsDazzler on December 27, 2011, 04:03:54 PM
Aint that true! The prettier you are, the more "feminine" you are, and the stronger your female presentation comes off as, it will up your chances of being accepted by a straight guy.
THIS.
And they say I am crazy for telling girls here to dress right, take care of themselves, wear makeup, and dress for their figure. LMAO.
Quote from: Mahsa the disco shark on December 27, 2011, 05:37:55 PM
Not really. You can have srs and still look clockable trans.
That's true but if the man has a womb (I.e. FTM) he's likely to be more understanding, unless I've completely misinterpreted Fionabell's comment.
Quote from: Assoluta on December 27, 2011, 05:43:42 PM
That's true but if the man has a womb (I.e. FTM) he's likely to be more understanding, unless I've completely misinterpreted Fionabell's comment.
Yeah...ftms are cute. But I don't see myself being in a relationship with one.
Quote from: Assoluta on December 27, 2011, 05:43:42 PM
That's true but if the man has a womb (I.e. FTM) he's likely to be more understanding, unless I've completely misinterpreted Fionabell's comment.
Thought your statement makes sense, what I meant was, one of the things a man wants out of a woman is a potential mother. We can't do that.
Quote from: fionabell on December 27, 2011, 05:49:44 PM
Thought your statement makes sense, what I meant was, one of the things a man wants out of a woman is a potential mother. We can't do that.
Oh I see, I was confused because having a womb wouldn't "make a man more likely to accept you as trans" - it would most likely make him confused as to whether you were actually trans unless we lived in an ideal world where wombs could be created and implanted.
Still, I'm a believer that if a man truly loves somebody, he won't reject a woman even if she can't bear children and he wants to have his own children, he'll want to work it out with her. Of course, people may have differing views on that.
The kind of man I want to end up with would hopefully be non-judgmental, secure, and open-minded. I doubt I would want to settle for less than that... as those are qualities that I have pride in possessing myself.
A man like that wouldn't have a problem with being with a trans woman. If the love is there, it would work...
Imitating a barbie doll.
Quote from: MsDazzler on December 27, 2011, 12:32:08 PM
What qualities do you think a hetero man need to possess to make him more likely to accept you for being trans?
Well, if you look like a natal female you have a head start!
I'm sorry . I've been answering the title instead of the OP.
new answer:
The man can accept what he's told to accept. :laugh:
As a man, I'll echo what others have said:
Someone who has friends who let him live his own life. Someone trying to impress his friends with his manliness is probably going to do what he thinks his friends want, which isn't good if he has those types of friends.
Someone who is confident in who he is and is willing to stand up for what is right, even when it is unpopular.
Someone who knows who he is and isn't trying to prove he's straight or not gay. A closeted gay who is trying to deceive himself about his sexuality would be a very bad choice (for any woman).
As for a womb, plenty of guys *don't* want kids and would consider it a plus if their wife/girlfriend couldn't get pregnant.
I'll also disagree that clothes and feminine looks are important for the gal to attract a decent guy. Plenty of non-models find someone. If the guy is confident in himself and willing to do what he wants (instead of trying to be some sort of stereotype of a man), she won't have to be stereotypically feminine anymore than he'll have to be stereotypically masculine.
For me, finding someone who I enjoy spending time with was important. As great as sex is, there are other parts of the day too. :) I wasn't looking for a trophy (even if I got one!), I was looking for someone to spend life with.
Quote from: MsDazzler on December 27, 2011, 04:03:54 PM
Aint that true! The prettier you are, the more "feminine" you are, and the stronger your female presentation comes off as, it will up your chances of being accepted by a straight guy.
Kia Ora Ms Daz,
::) What do you mean by strong female presentation Ms Daz ? Do you mean make-up, jewellery, a pretty dress ? Or ultra feminine mannerisms/behaviour ? If a guy 'only' accepted you because of how you were dressed and how sexy the make up and jewellery looked on you, how shallow would this make him ?
::) But then again you might just be talking about a 'one night stand' and not a long term relationship...
::) As the saying goes "Beauty is in the eye of the behold !" [And the drunker they are the more beautiful one becomes]
Metta Zenda :)
Quote from: MsDazzler on December 27, 2011, 04:00:03 PM
Applies only to ugly, fat, and balding guys, eh?
Not necessarily, there are more reasons beyond looks that could make someone desperate.
Quote from: Jaime on December 28, 2011, 12:20:21 AM
Not necessarily, there are more reasons beyond looks that could make someone desperate.
You seem experienced with "desperate" men...perhaps you should enlighten us?
What about going back to one's pre-transition, pre-everything, still busy getting on with that male-thing situation, trying to make out with females?
What would you have looked for in a female then (trans or otherwise)?
I'm afraid I feel too much an arsehole/chauvinist to even mention it... gosh!
So does that make us worse then the rest of manhood? Just because we were actually transsexual and overcompensating? Really?
I sure did overcompensate, as qualified by my shrink and some other folks.
Just a thought,
Axélle
Quote from: Mahsa the disco shark on December 28, 2011, 12:30:33 AM
You seem experienced with "desperate" men...perhaps you should enlighten us?
This one made me LOL.
My man is with me because he instantly felt attracted to me. He says I look all woman to him. He also doesn't care what other people think including friends and co-workers.
So, whoever said the more you look like a woman is right. And whoever said the man needs to have self-confidence is right. :)
Quote from: JenJen2011 on December 28, 2011, 12:14:08 PM
So, whoever said the more you look like a woman is right. And whoever said the man needs to have self-confidence is right. :)
There was this girl here a few months ago saying that men didn't want to be seen in public with her. If a man doesn't want to be seen in public with you...you either don't pass or he feels embarrassed in his sexuality. Basically, you have to look like a "regular" girl... Whatever that means.
Every man I've ever dated wanted to be seen with me, introduced me to their friends/families, etc....except for the married man who is so afraid of being seen as a gay we have to hide it around it his friends.
The man needs to be secure in himself, because if people know...then it's gonna be harder on him. He has to have a thick skin because his bros might give him guff for being with a TS.
Kia Ora,
"What makes a man more likely to accept you as trans?"
::) Half a bottle of Jack Daniels ! ;) :D
Metta Zenda :)
I think just a fairly open-minded man in general. Although, it seems like most men don't look into things normally anyways. They are fairly straight forward with their emotions. Some think you're "super gay," while others just seem to not care at all... so long as their sexual preference is not in jeopardy. I have a friend that was completely understanding. However more recently, a random person had asked if I was his wife... he's completely ignored me since.
I'm sure "passing" is also quite important, though I am also certain they must have confidence as well. Also, your personality would play a big factor in it. I don't know if any one saw that episode of ANTM where the ts woman returned to the show. She started dating her now husband before she was finished with transition. Her personality and confidence is what he was attracted to.
I think a lot of men love transgirls. I suppose they need to be socially brave if you aren't completely passing. Which none of us are to absolutely everyone. There's always people who are tuned to it.
Quote from: MsDazzler on December 27, 2011, 12:32:08 PM
Sorry, I'll have to be "heterosexist" here and pose a question that is probably only relevant to the hetero ladies here, not the lesbian ones. :)
<3<3<3<3<3<3<3
Thank you for recognizing this, i have to say that allows for sooooo much more dialogue if you had said nothing at all.
I am a queer woman but my boyfriend definitely passes socially as a guy, so I know further in my transition I will be read as heterosexual if he
doesn't decide to transition.
And to be honest, i have no idea what. I think alot of hetero men may enjoy the uniqueness of it and want to show interest in the t women of the world which kind of exotifies our bodies but that's just a problem I would find in it if i had to grasp for one.
Some men are genuinely attracted to us and maybe once they learn we are trans if they are the right kind of guy will dismiss their own masculinity to allow for a relationship to develop.
Honestly, i don't find this sort of thing common though unless they knew from the beginning we are trans.
Quote from: MsDazzler on December 27, 2011, 12:32:08 PM
What qualities do you think a hetero man need to possess to make him more likely to accept you for being trans?
Growing up and living in a non-transphobic world.
Quote from: Torn1990 on December 28, 2011, 03:19:51 PM
Some men are genuinely attracted to us and maybe once they learn we are trans if they are the right kind of guy will dismiss their own masculinity to allow for a relationship to develop.
Honestly, i don't find this sort of thing common though unless they knew from the beginning we are trans.
well they should know from the beginning we are trans. Other wise you're just toying with their emotions.
Bold: Why should they have to dismiss their masculinity? I think i know what you mean but the choice of wording is counter productive. No?
Quote from: Julie Marie on December 28, 2011, 03:34:25 PM
Growing up and living in a non-transphobic world.
Of course that would help lol.
Quote from: fionabell on December 28, 2011, 03:53:27 PM
well they should know from the beginning we are trans. Other wise you're just toying with their emotions.
Bold: Why should they have to dismiss their masculinity? I think i know what you mean but the choice of wording is counter productive. No?
What i meant was... say a hetero cis man saw a trans woman at a coffee shop or something and didn't clock them as being trans then asked them out on a date.
Otherwise going stealth on a blind date is dangerous. I do not think it is a safe idea and that is the only reason why.
I agree with what you said because social hetero masculinity pressures do discourage cis hetero men from being with trans women & that's a social reality which is why it's important to disclose your trans like you mentioned, it's a risk not to.
For a hetero cis man to date a trans woman they have to realize that when they go out with a trans woman and if she isn't passing that day that he will not be read as a cis hetero man, and it takes letting go of some of that masculine social pressure and that privilege that goes along with it to accept that and be proud of who they are with.
Quote from: fionabell on December 28, 2011, 03:53:27 PM
Bold: Why should they have to dismiss their masculinity? I think i know what you mean but the choice of wording is counter productive. No?
I agree, they don't need to.
But they may need to be willing to not conform to the *stereotype* of masculinity.
If people are trying to make others see them a certain way - such as trying to come across as masculine - then, of course, they will be bothered by anything in their life that may contradict how they want to be seen (kind of like someone trying to live stealth probably won't publicly hang around a lot of people who don't pass, for similar reasons: it makes it harder to pass). I also think this is the root of a lot of anti-trans violence ("You made me look less stereotypically male to my friends who found out") and anti-gay violence ("I'm trying to act straight, how dare you hit on me, I've worked hard to hide who I am").
Thus, I think it's important to find people who aren't as worried about which stereotypes they conform to or how other people see them. In other words, strong and confident, but not necessarily in the stereotypical way. But I think this is important in any relationship - someone who lives their own life is a lot more attractive to me than someone who lives for others' perceptions and stereotypes.
Quote from: Slanan on December 28, 2011, 04:21:45 PM
Thus, I think it's important to find people who aren't as worried about which stereotypes they conform to or how other people see them.
Yes they have to have reached a point where they don't care what others think. Unfortunately they are usually quite old when they get to that.
Also, as many of us have had to jettison family and friends, they might have to hide us from family etc so there are factors for which they can't be blamed.
A quadriplegic guy contacted me online. He hasn't been with a girl in over 25 years. He wanted me to visit him(other side of the country) and was saying he loves me. Funny though. When his brother/carer came home he asked me to pretend(on windows chat) that I was gg with no trans references.
Like I'm expected to go and be his carer or something but he's ashamed of me. I thought that was funny. He was sweet though.
Quote from: fionabell on December 28, 2011, 04:45:46 PM
Yes they have to have reached a point where they don't care what others think. Unfortunately they are usually quite old when they get to that.
Also, as many of us have had to jettison family and friends, they might have to hide us from family etc so there are factors for which they can't be blamed.
Those two things are what I worry about the most. I've wanted to marry for a very very long time, and as it is I hope I'm not too late. I don't want to be well past half of my life before I do so. And, transition was put off for such a long time for me because I worried that when I do fall in love, the family of the person I would be interested in would find out. I've had nightmares about this! :embarrassed:
Quote from: MADI! on December 28, 2011, 04:57:20 PM
Those two things are what I worry about the most. I've wanted to marry for a very very long time, and as it is I hope I'm not too late. I don't want to be well past half of my life before I do so. And, transition was put off for such a long time for me because I worried that when I do fall in love, the family of the person I would be interested in would find out. I've had nightmares about this! :embarrassed:
It'll work out ok honey. There's plenty of guys who can manage it. ;)
Quote from: Torn1990 on December 28, 2011, 04:08:00 PM
What i meant was... say a hetero cis man saw a trans woman at a coffee shop or something and didn't clock them as being trans then asked them out on a date.
Otherwise going stealth on a blind date is dangerous. I do not think it is a safe idea and that is the only reason why.
I am glad to see someone else agreed with me! I had an big debate with Assoluta in Eve's thread about "dating and when to tell" about whether you should be upfront about being trans or not at the beginning of any potential encounter with a man.
Another very important quality I think would be that if the man has already a transgender or crossdressing friend.
I just remembered this because I remember this straight guy contacted me last year from Internet and we slept together upon meeting, (whore, I know! ::) ) ... then I asked him if he was experienced with TG/TS, and he said he had been always curious about sleeping with one because he had a crossdressing friend but never was attracted to him.
We slept together again last summer and have not seen him ever since.
Quote from: MsDazzler on December 28, 2011, 05:47:50 PM
We slept together again last summer and have not seen him ever since.
I considered adding LADYBOY to my fb profile again.
I wish I could do that instead of going through the dating/screening process with a guy. I also wish I was in SF more.
Quote from: Mahsa the disco shark on December 28, 2011, 06:44:14 PM
I considered adding LADYBOY to my fb profile again.
I wish I could do that instead of going through the dating/screening process with a guy. I also wish I was in SF more.
Too funny, will LADYBOY bring 'em on then?! Like flys attracted to...
How about LADYGRAMS with added orifice for myself :-)
Nah, just kidding.
Guys, most of them, are into 'fresh meat', even the really old ones, so you gotta keep it going as time will fly.
I know,
Axélle
Hi,
I'm a straight trans. Well for me it's BEAUTY, BEAUTY and BEAUTY! If your Beauty is FATAL and overwhelms the average bio woman, you are more likely to overturn all straights BUT a big BUT, they should NOT know at all you are trans. Or 'knowingly' STILL I would opt for PHYSICAL BEAUTY. A super model-looking face and PASSING face. But this too, the chance are minim as soon as they know you are trans.
To what I've learnt it's VERY difficult for a real 'strict straight' (who are most of the time the ones who look the most handsome, very manly and very attractive) continue accepting you once they know you are trans.
The straights who are likely to accept you are the what I call 'Moderate straights', I don't mean that they are ugly, fat etc as you say, but they generally appear 'normal' (neither superhandsome, nor super ugly but fairly good-looking)
And the '->-bleeped-<--->-bleeped-<-s' omg don't talk about them to me, I don't like them at all. In fact me too I get turn off as soon as I know a guy is ->-bleeped-<--->-bleeped-<- looking for ->-bleeped-<- with penis etc and reject them...just like a strict-straight guy turn me down for being trans. Generally you can grasp at a glance one is ->-bleeped-<--->-bleeped-<- by their face, their face look something between gay and straight and have a 'soft face vibe'. You don't feel that 100% 'virility' like the 'strict straights' ones. I can make VERY RARE EXCEPTION for a ->-bleeped-<--->-bleeped-<- ONLY if he looks super handsome(that too only for sex and not to love) and resembles a straight guy and he must behave with me like he's treating a woman and not a ->-bleeped-<- with penis cos am entirely passive but generally I turn them all down.
But SADLY, you can the most beautiful POST-OP TRANS IN THE WORLD but as soon as a REAL STRAIGHT MAN(STRICT STRAIGHTS) knows you are trans, they will turn you down by experience I've got, SO THE BEST AND ULTIMATE WAY IS JUST BE A VERY BEAUTIFUL PASSABLE BOMBSHELL AND MAINTAIN YOUR MOUTH SHUT, PERIOD!
Quote from: MsDazzler on December 28, 2011, 05:47:50 PM
I am glad to see someone else agreed with me! I had an big debate with Assoluta in Eve's thread about "dating and when to tell" about whether you should be upfront about being trans or not at the beginning of any potential encounter with a man.
Another very important quality I think would be that if the man has already a transgender or crossdressing friend.
I just remembered this because I remember this straight guy contacted me last year from Internet and we slept together upon meeting, (whore, I know! ::) ) ... then I asked him if he was experienced with TG/TS, and he said he had been always curious about sleeping with one because he had a crossdressing friend but never was attracted to him.
We slept together again last summer and have not seen him ever since.
this is too weird... out of blue he emailed me last nighta fter I made that post... want to do dinner. heh
Another quality I believe that would make a man more likely to accept you as trans -
If he has no close family or few friends - less poeple to let them know that he is dating a trans
Tigger is internet impaired right now, but he said to post his response for him:
"I think the most important thing to be accepted a a girl is to be confidant in the girl that you are. You need to Project that you are confidant and secure as the girl you are. Of course appearance is important. Dress like a girl. And be the girl that you are."
Good lord - how could I have forgotten another obvious trait -
IF the man is a closeted CROSSDRESSER or ->-bleeped-<-!
I ve got quite many emails from men on the Internet confessing that they were closeted CDs and wanted "someone" to dress them up or ->-bleeped-<- them while they were dressed. ::)
Quote from: MsDazzler on December 27, 2011, 12:32:08 PM
What qualities do you think a hetero man need to possess to make him more likely to accept you for being trans?
I can think of one quality already - If the hetero man is already involved in the LGBT community or hitting the gay bars, that is a good sign that he will be more accepting of you and possibly even interested in you (as you ll hardly have any competition from other ladies in a gay bar, lol).
I can only answer from my personal anecdotal evidence.
1) Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. I don't believe this is a significant factor.
2) The man is self assured in his sexuality and gender.
3) The man is open minded about these sorts of issues and has no problem accepting anyone falling into the LGBT box.
Cindi
Quote from: MsDazzler on December 30, 2011, 07:53:50 PM
Good lord - how could I have forgotten another obvious trait -
IF the man is a closeted CROSSDRESSER or ->-bleeped-<-!
I ve got quite many emails from men on the Internet confessing that they were closeted CDs and wanted "someone" to dress them up or <not allowed> them while they were dressed. ::)
I got a CD as my "stepdaughter" who I want to hook up when he's out of clothes. He's a really femmie straight guy!
good god, really?
MY interest vanishes the moment i find out a man is a CD or transvestive - lol. I've fought hard to obtain the right to wear a bra and panty; I dont need competition from a stranger, lol.
Another quality I also forgot -
DIVORCED and has kids already!!! That way, your inability to have kids is an nonissue, and him being divorced means he is experienced
Quote from: MsDazzler on December 31, 2011, 10:44:10 AM
good god, really?
MY interest vanishes the moment i find out a man is a CD or transvestive - lol. I've fought hard to obtain the right to wear a bra and panty; I dont need competition from a stranger, lol.
+1
This is straight from the horse's mouth (so to speak) - a guy just wrote me on OkCupid.com...
Here is what he said verbatim:
"Just came across your profile. You look amazing. I'm not experienced and didn't think I was curious, but you are one of the sexiest women I've ever seen. Get back at me if you are interested."
The people here who said appearing very sexy and presentable as a female get +1
Another thread jostled another thought for this thread-
The less attached a man is to his family, the greater the chance that he will accept you - that means he wont care if he is not invited to holiday gatherings, etc, etc, anymore
Quote from: MsDazzler on January 06, 2012, 01:07:59 PM
The less attached a man is to his family, the greater the chance that he will accept you - that means he wont care if he is not invited to holiday gatherings, etc, etc, anymore
That sounds right to me too - I know I don't really care if my family approves or not, but I know plenty of people thhat do. I suspect people with families that value the worth of all people would be fine, even if the man was very attached to his family (unfortunately, that type of family seems sort of rare - but they are out there).
I think if the person cares what lots of people think about their own choices, they will be both more dangerous to be around and less accepting.
Men want to be seen in public with me. I don't think the families are the issue completely.
I've met guys friends, etc and they don't have a problem with it.
It's more of the guy himself.
Quote from: Mahsa the disco shark on January 06, 2012, 01:51:54 PM
Men want to be seen in public with me. I don't think the families are the issue completely.
I've met guys friends, etc and they don't have a problem with it.
It's more of the guy himself.
Yeah, like I mentioned somewhere else, it is the guy projecting his fears on his family members.
Ah, I need to find a loner who has no family or friends to worry about, lol.
Now is that a tall, dark, and handsome loner I see sitting in the corner of the bar... ;)