Kia Ora,
Do stories of people "De-transitioning" make you feel uncomfortable ?
If so, why?
Metta Zenda :)
No. Transition is not for everyone. I know I tried it before and think that if you can not transition and be happy then go for it
Mostly sad on one hand, yet proud of them for at least trying to live the dream
Why would it? Its a personal decision.
Not at all, and we should be "mindful" that our detransitioners need a lot of support. We wouldn't want to make anyone uncomfortable or feel unwelcome. Hugs, Devlyn
I'm going to post again. I think this topic is ill advised. It is flirting with TOS Rule #10, and is an open door for bashing peoples choices. I urge everyone to be very thoughtful before posting in this thread. Hugs, Devlyn
I would say definitely yes. A decision to detransition means someone is profoundly uncomfortable in their new identity. I feel for them and am afraid it could happen to me.
Nope, but sometimes the stated reasons leave me with questions..
Re: Do stories of people "De-transitioning" make you feel uncomfortable ?
No. I can see how it could happen, even if the person was sure of their identity. The grass is not really very green on either side of the gender fence. Even if someone had a fully 100% female brain, it doesn't mean they're going to be comfortable with everything involved with female life. Or vice versa.
Pre-transitioners can tend to blame all their issues on being trans. In some cases, most their issues do stem from it. But that doesn't mean transition fixes this. It's very tempting while going through transition to believe that though.
Plus, it's not just about being fit for male or female life. We still have trans specific issues to deal with that have nothing to do with that like being stealth or not (which some personalities are better suited for than others), rejection from family and friends and oftentimes spouses, trans specific sexuality issues, personal safety issues, etc. Sometimes it may be the trans specific problems the person's having a hard time with rather than not being a 'true transsexual' or whatever fit for male or female life.
Uncomfortable? No. Sad? Yes. But I can understand the why, as I did it myself. If I could tell them anything it would be "it will get better. Detransition is just postponing the inevitable."
Quote from: Devlyn Marie on April 09, 2013, 06:23:13 PM
I'm going to post again. I think this topic is ill advised. It is flirting with TOS Rule #10, and is an open door for bashing peoples choices. I urge everyone to be very thoughtful before posting in this thread. Hugs, Devlyn
Kia Ora Devlyn.
I think you are reading a bit too much into it...However by urging others to be thoughtful before posting a comment is a wise move on any topic/thread ...
Some people can feel a little uncomfortable when reading about others de-transitioning, because it can bring up self doubts, and it's very important for the person who wishes to transition to try and eliminate all 'possible' doubts beforehand...
This is not a thread to 'bash' de-transitioners, far from it, it's to find out why some might feel uncomfortable reading about another person's "personal" experience...
It's good that you show concern Devlyn, but I do feel it's somewhat unwarranted...
Metta Zenda :)
No, although I'm sometimes a little worried about their thought processes when they make the choice to transition, then again when they de-transition. It seems like some of the most memorable cases (to me) didn't receive any/thorough counseling before making the decision. In the end it's their personal choice, and as long as they're happy I'm happy for them.
I think it's good to read about people who have rethought their choices because it makes us stop and re-examine our own choices. I researched a bit on de-transitioning before I even found a therapist so I would be absolutely sure about my decision beforehand. I try not to take a side on an issue until I've heard something from all of the viewpoints.
It does create anxiety in me to read about detransition, but still I read those stories.
I just feel the anxiety, as I kind of cannot know what life throws against me. I know I'm a woman, I know I would feel more me if other people (as well as me) could see me as a female.
However, life is not that simple and constant harassing or not passing at all, can get you down and that is what I'm reading from most of the detransition stories and that is what really fires up my anxiety.
Also the fact, that transition perhaps doesn't take away all dysphoria.
Quote from: ChrisJ on April 09, 2013, 10:55:39 PM
I've been watching a vlog on a person's detransitioning journey. they are going from ftmtq. It makes me feel slightly uncomfortable, but I face that truth for my own good. And I treat people like that with respect because they're doing what they think they need to and I can't fault them for that. Everyone's experience is different. Pretransition, this person was extremely careful and are themselves a psycho therapist! Not someone who dived into transition without thinking. Its a reality that I respect them for sharing.
EDIT: Ps. I think it makes some people uncomfortable to face this truth, including myself up to a point, because it challenges the idea that transition is the cure-all, final stop for trans* people's personal journeys. And it shows us that there are no guarantees to happiness, transition being no exception to the rule.
Kia Ora Chris,
I'm afraid I'm not up with the times, so is a vlog a video blog ? if so do you have the link, the person you mentioned sounds quite interesting...
And it's good that you are also very cautious...
Metta Zenda :)
Quote from: Henna on April 09, 2013, 11:11:15 PM
It does create anxiety in me to read about detransition, but still I read those stories.
I just feel the anxiety, as I kind of cannot know what life throws against me. I know I'm a woman, I know I would feel more me if other people (as well as me) could see me as a female.
However, life is not that simple and constant harassing or not passing at all, can get you down and that is what I'm reading from most of the detransition stories and that is what really fires up my anxiety.
Also the fact, that transition perhaps doesn't take away all dysphoria.
Kia Ora Henna,
I feel this is why the Real Life Experience [after being on HRT and some FF surgery if necessary] is so important...To help iron out any bumps in the road... Through the RLE one gets a 'taste' of what's to come and if it is not to their liking, then they must look for alternative means to help easy their dysphoria...
Having major surgery, only to find one does not feel comfortable[still suffering dysphoria] could create even more dysphoria when not being able to fully 'function' as one's birth sex again...
Which dysphoria is the worst ?
To Be Or Not To Be ?
Transitioning is tough and in order to survive one must take every measure possible to ensure one reaches ones goal safely-with no or minimal regrets...
Metta Zenda :)
They used to, especially when people were supposedly 100% sure and then went back. But I found that often, when they explained the reasons why they wanted to transition in the first place, or had a fundamental assumption about transition that was wrong - it's something I already asked myself and made peace with. So it doesn't bother me anymore.
I think this is really good topic but probably cause I was just thinking of how it's kinda weird that I don't have any doubts about transitioning. But when reading stories of detransition, the ones that worry me aren't so much the ones where someone detransitions for personal reasons but for reasons of passability and harassment.
That kinda worries me 'cause then I start thinking what will I do if after three years on hormones and even FFS I still don't pass and I get openly mocked in public and am unemployable? It's very doubtful this will happen and I'm pretty sure I'll pass 100 percent after laser and voice therapy but when reading stories like this my heart does race. But I'm still 100 percent sure this is the right decision for me right now. But other then the detransitioning for passability issues it doesn't make me uncomfortable and I just hope the person finds happiness.
I think that a major part of transitioning is in the question; why?
The answer will never be simple, although many of us think it is clear and obvious. Unless we can be clear and understand why, then de-transitioning will be a 'risk', if I may use that term.
As others have said transitioning does not change your problems, in many ways it may magnify them. We need to think through those aspects as we seek therapy.
Sadly I feel too many of us look at therapists as gate keepers who are there to prevent or inhibit our desire. When therapy should be the sounding board for our concerns and fears. Therapists should provide an arena, where we can explore our expectations and inform us of the real life problems that we may be looking at through rose-coloured lenses and ignoring; at our peril.
For many of us they are an inhibition to obtaining HRT, when in fact the SHOULD be a mechanism of allowing us to understand ourselves.
So from my perspective de-transitioning does make me feel uncomfortable as it suggest that trans* therapy is poor, a fact that I'm aware of. It also means that many of my brothers and sisters are not receiving the therapy they need, when they need it and are placed in a situation of risk when they need to be helped.
That makes me sad.
C
Quote from: Cindy James on April 10, 2013, 03:37:30 AM
So from my perspective de-transitioning does make me feel uncomfortable as it suggest that trans* therapy is poor, a fact that I'm aware of.
Well I think I'm finally getting the best therapy there is, but I still don't think it'll protect me from a bad transition. She makes it clear that in the end it's up to me, and the only way I'll really know is to try it.
As it is, I have my doubts. I'm definitely MTF but whether the stresses of transition will be too much for me, I'm going to have to go full time to find that out.
It's a serious reminder that you need to be very certain and also aware of the possible consequences of it all. I know someone who did this after paying a lot of money for FFS and other work. All the counselling in the world can only prepare you so much. Also, there is a lot of cognitive dissonance or a degree of confirmation bias, IMHO.
Kia Ora,
For me personally, reading de-transition stories produce no discomfort whatsoever, however I do wonder what impact these kind of stories have on the 'questioning' pre-ops and the newly post-ops who are still finding their feet, ie, perhaps having post-op depression-fuelled-doubts, that some seems to experience , which could be just the last 'remnants' of dysphoria coming to the surface before dissolving with the passing of time...
Add on :
It is truly sad that some trans-people have to take such drastic measures by de-transitioning,and in doing so no doubt this does not in any way lessen the pull of their core identity...
Metta Zenda :)
No, detransitioning stories don't make me uncomfortable, just a little sad for the person who needs to do that, since as others have pointed out, the reasons almost never seem to be "I'm detransitioning because I feel I made the wrong decision regarding my gender" but almost always go "I'm detransitioning because I cannot pass or because I'm getting harassed or finding society does not accept me." This doesn't make it invalid of course, but it does seem to say that the problem truly does lie with society than with the transitioner. After all, most of us have lived with our dysphoria for many decades.... I personally know what and who I am, I did so for decades, and that hasn't changed now that I've had SRS. If I copped a lot of bad experiences from society, I might question my decision to wear female clothes for instance, or wear my hair a certain way, etc, and I might go back into drag (male clothes, binder, etc, like I have to do a few months each year when I travel to dangerous countries, one of which I actually call my home) full time. BUT I would never regret the surgery or doubt that I am female inside, even if I have to cover it up. Dam, I hate it when I ramble around a point, but maybe it's clear enough: detransitioning issues seems less about a person's intrinsic dissatisfaction with their OWN decision to "become a female" physically, and more about not being able to be accepted BY OTHERS externally.
Detransitioning, for some, is a valid choice, one for which I have nothing but sympathy.
Yes it does, because it gives ammo for cis people negatively look down on trans people thinking it's a phase or it's not a legit condition etc. Plus it somewhat makes me question my own self but the first bothers me the most.
Yes because I assume that they're having extremely critical distress dealing with the surrounding world because of it and give up, so I feel bad for them. It doesn't make me question myself at all if that's what you mean, I don't even think about it in that sense. Of course people detransition, everything happens sometimes, but it's very rare.
Quote from: GendrKweer on April 10, 2013, 11:52:56 PM
No, detransitioning stories don't make me uncomfortable, just a little sad for the person who needs to do that, since as others have pointed out, the reasons almost never seem to be "I'm detransitioning because I feel I made the wrong decision regarding my gender" but almost always go "I'm detransitioning because I cannot pass or because I'm getting harassed or finding society does not accept me." This doesn't make it invalid of course, but it does seem to say that the problem truly does lie with society than with the transitioner. After all, most of us have lived with our dysphoria for many decades.... I personally know what and who I am, I did so for decades, and that hasn't changed now that I've had SRS. If I copped a lot of bad experiences from society, I might question my decision to wear female clothes for instance, or wear my hair a certain way, etc, and I might go back into drag (male clothes, binder, etc, like I have to do a few months each year when I travel to dangerous countries, one of which I actually call my home) full time. BUT I would never regret the surgery or doubt that I am female inside, even if I have to cover it up. Dam, I hate it when I ramble around a point, but maybe it's clear enough: detransitioning issues seems less about a person's intrinsic dissatisfaction with their OWN decision to "become a female" physically, and more about not being able to be accepted BY OTHERS externally.
Detransitioning, for some, is a valid choice, one for which I have nothing but sympathy.
Kia Ora GendrKweer,
Your personal story sounds quite fascinating ...
Metta Zenda :)
No, stories of people de-transitioning do not bother me whatsoever. Yes, they occasionally make me doubt, and almost always make me re-check my reasons that I am transitioning to make sure that they are indeed still valid, and that I won't end up the same.
Doubts are healthy. Because without doubts, you would never have a true test of how strong your convictions are. Doubts force you to confront these fears and these uncertainties, and find out if you can still go through with it. And without those kinds of doubts, without these kind of tests of your convictions, that is when people do end up in situations like de-transitioning, because they haven't thoroughly thought through all of the positives and negatives, and really had a chance to think of the possible negatives. Accepting that transition is not all sunshine and roses for everyone, and that there really are people who are NOT happier afterward, is a very important thing to realize.
And I'll admit, when I was first beginning transition, I hated these stories, because I hated feeling doubt, and I hated that feeling that I was having to re-evaluate who I was and what made me transsexual. But once that feeling was over, and I found a deep-seeded reason why I wanted to keep going, pretty much because of having to confront these doubts head-on, I have become a MUCH more convicted person. And that has been a VERY good thing in regards to my feelings of happiness, contentment, and mental security with what I'm doing.
I agree with what a few people have said - it's important to hear detransition stories so you can at least prepare yourself for the issues causing the person to detransition. Knowing what you're getting into, both the good and the bad, is the only way to make an informed decision.
Depends on....sometimes I read stories about MTF detransitioning decades later and yes, that makes me wonder why and how come, so long after transition and surgery.
Makes me wonder like ....are MTF feelings dynamic? Even/or post op?
Quote from: Anna Michele on April 11, 2013, 06:59:58 AM
I agree with what a few people have said - it's important to hear detransition stories so you can at least prepare yourself for the issues causing the person to detransition. Knowing what you're getting into, both the good and the bad, is the only way to make an informed decision.
Well said. To me, it sounds like detransitioners have experienced loss and hurt on a magnitude far worse than the relief of transitioning can provide. I would never presume to understand anyone else's situation, but I could have empathy for them. I think in any major life change (new career, a move, marriage, etc.) you experience discomfort and anxiety over the comfort of what was. To have such deep remorse and regret following such a major change has to be soul crushing.
(EDIT: cleaned the post of a link that was frankly a poor resources at best and at worst potentially harmful. My apologies. If got some reason you need the link provided please PM me. Thanks)
Yes, they do. Mostly because a lot of the responses around detransitioning make me super uncomfortable. I tend to feel like making the decision to transition, especially when you are youngish, is hard enough already, and the reaction to detransitioning seems to generally be that people want to make it harder still. Make more hoops to jump through. Explain how desperately important therapy is. Do RLE before FFS, before HRT even. Blah, blah. Regardless of whether the person is detransitioning because they actually feel like they are wrong (almost never) or because it actually was too hard already (far more frequent).
That and the handful of people who detransition because they realized it actually wasn't for them are often non-binaries who got pushed into following a path that was wrong for them.
I think detransition stories tend to highlight how rigidly trans communities want to adhere to a single narrative, and anything outside of that is to be excised via increased regulation. Inevitably reading those threads, and threads like this one, serve to emphasize how many problems I have with how we treat transition.
Quote from: jamielikesyou on April 11, 2013, 07:41:37 AM
I'd suggest a read through for anyone on the fence. http://tgchatroom.com/wiki/index.php/So_You_Want_To_Be_a_T-Girl_%28Chapter_1%29 (http://tgchatroom.com/wiki/index.php/So_You_Want_To_Be_a_T-Girl_%28Chapter_1%29)
This, right here, is exactly the kind of garbage that kept me from transitioning for six years and nearly cost me my life. It is wildly inaccurate, presumptive, and, frankly, dangerous. I am honestly sick to the teeth of people desperately trying to protect folks from transition.
Maybe this is just an older/younger divide. A lot of the people my age and younger... the risk for them is in killing themselves before they ever manage to work up the courage to transition. And discouraging them with junk like that is highly unproductive. A handful of false-positive cis people does not justify jeopardizing the happiness and survival of many, many more trans people. We have nearly a 50% attempted suicide rate for chrissake. Transition needs to get a hell of a lot easier and more readily available. Not the other way around.
Quote from: jamielikesyou on April 11, 2013, 07:41:37 AM
I'd suggest a read through for anyone on the fence. http://tgchatroom.com/wiki/index.php/So_You_Want_To_Be_a_T-Girl_%28Chapter_1%29 (http://tgchatroom.com/wiki/index.php/So_You_Want_To_Be_a_T-Girl_%28Chapter_1%29)
Jamie, I'd like to respectfully disagree. I didn't read it all, but I spent a few minutes with it.
It is full of the author's assumptions and many unproven and undocumented assertions presented as accepted unquestioned truth.
It does not match the reality I've seen so far nor the reality of any TG people I've met in real life. Most of the experiences reported here at Susan's diverge widely from that narrative.
I would not recommend it as a vehicle to provide clarity for people making the decision whether to transition.
Quote from: Malachite on April 11, 2013, 12:04:09 AM
Yes it does, because it gives ammo for cis people negatively look down on trans people thinking it's a phase or it's not a legit condition etc. Plus it somewhat makes me question my own self but the first bothers me the most.
Well, that's the cis-people's roblem...I would put no pressure on any trans-person to follow thru with transition, just to avoid another persons' ignorance.
Before I did any transitioning, I sought out de-transition stories, as well as regret stories...for the explicit purpose of asking if this might be me, in a few years...I worked thru those concerns, checking myself throughout for any self-deception...and found none. (My the*apist concurred, btw).
So no, detransition does not bother me, because it only applies directly to the person involved...and only they know what is right for them.
De-transitioning happens, I'm happy for those who realize (before surgery) that it isn't for them. No matter what the reason.
I don't think of detransition as a bad thing. It is merely someone following their path. The path led them to transition, now the path leads elsewhere. I respect that. Hugs, Devlyn
Quote from: jamielikesyou on April 11, 2013, 07:41:37 AM
I'd suggest a read through for anyone on the fence. http://tgchatroom.com/wiki/index.php/So_You_Want_To_Be_a_T-Girl_%28Chapter_1%29 (http://tgchatroom.com/wiki/index.php/So_You_Want_To_Be_a_T-Girl_%28Chapter_1%29)
Um... I'm going to respectfully disagree with this, as others have. I appreciate having some negativity to make people question their convictions, but this book is just downright terrible. Seriously? Calling transition a "tornado" that destroys everything and gives nothing? And saying that 85% of people who begin transition fail at it? And basically having an attitude of "Unless you start hormones between the ages of 16 and 20, you're DOOMED!!!" Um, I'm sorry, but just no.
I'm also going to say that this is indeed the exact same kind of article that kept me from transitioning at a younger age. Because it makes it seem like NOTHING will change due to hormones, that you'll still be walking around shaving your coarse body hair and trying to perpetually cover up your masculinity with ineffective makeup, and that NOTHING will be gained physically or mentally from transition, and that it's just dooming you to a life of ridicule. NO. I am sorry, but NO, NO, NO. This is the exact reason why, for so long, I believed that nothing was ever going to be able to fix the feeling of mental "wrongness" that I was feeling, and nothing was ever going to be able to give me the smooth skin that I wanted, and get rid of my coarse body hair, and give me the shape that I so desperately envied... that I would always just be a "man in a dress." Again... just NO.
I don't know if I can say anything else on the matter... there's just a lot of personal hurt back there in regards to stories exactly like this which kept me from feeling like I was in the right body for so long... and already just 3 months in, HRT has already given me so much physical happiness, and so much of a sense of actually liking my body for the first time since I was 12 freaking years old, it really hurts to remember this same kind of mindset, thinking of all the years that I wasted hating my skin and hating my hair and hating my bulky masculine shapes, when the solution was right there in front of me the whole damned time, but I didn't know it was even possible until I finally stumbled on the "before and after" topic of this forum, and onto Youtube videos about the effects of hormones.
No offense taken by any who responded to the article link. I know it was one piece I read while questioning transition; i stll felt as strongly in favor of doing it (transitioning) afterwards. If it is more hurtful than helpful I am happy to edit out the link. To any I have inadvertently triggered my deepest regrets, that certainly was never my intention and my apologies to having hurt you. I didn't man to be an insensitive clod :(
Kia Ora ,
"You can please some of the people some of the time - But not all of the people all of the time !"
Thanks for posting the link, [Jamielikesyou] not that I need to read it again, I read it a few years back and all I felt after reading it was pity for her...She had had a rough time of it during transition, and it would seem out of fear and frustration came up with the T Girl advice...
There are two ways to take the information she provides :
1) Take it to heart and see every negative thing she writes about as a reflection of yourself, or
2) See it for what it is, her personal rant and opinions and take it with a pinch of salt...
The only thing that trans-people really have in common is the 'name'... Our lives take different paths, some smooth, others not so smooth ...
However,it pays not to 'believe' everything one reads...But at times[especially when very vulnerable, susceptible and emotional], gullibility can be a curse....
Metta Zenda :)
Quote from: Sarah7 on April 11, 2013, 08:17:12 AM
This, right here, is exactly the kind of garbage that kept me from transitioning for six years and nearly cost me my life. It is wildly inaccurate, presumptive, and, frankly, dangerous. I am honestly sick to the teeth of people desperately trying to protect folks from transition.
Quote from: Carrie Liz on April 11, 2013, 09:56:18 AM
Um... I'm going to respectfully disagree with this, as others have. I appreciate having some negativity to make people question their convictions, but this book is just downright terrible. Seriously? Calling transition a "tornado" that destroys everything and gives nothing? And saying that 85% of people who begin transition fail at it? And basically having an attitude of "Unless you start hormones between the ages of 16 and 20, you're DOOMED!!!" Um, I'm sorry, but just no.
I'm also going to say that this is indeed the exact same kind of article that kept me from transitioning at a younger age. Because it makes it seem like NOTHING will change due to hormones, that you'll still be walking around shaving your coarse body hair and trying to perpetually cover up your masculinity with ineffective makeup, and that NOTHING will be gained physically or mentally from transition, and that it's just dooming you to a life of ridicule. NO. I am sorry, but NO, NO, NO. This is the exact reason why, for so long, I believed that nothing was ever going to be able to fix the feeling of mental "wrongness" that I was feeling, and nothing was ever going to be able to give me the smooth skin that I wanted, and get rid of my coarse body hair, and give me the shape that I so desperately envied... that I would always just be a "man in a dress." Again... just NO.
I don't know if I can say anything else on the matter... there's just a lot of personal hurt back there in regards to stories exactly like this which kept me from feeling like I was in the right body for so long... and already just 3 months in, HRT has already given me so much physical happiness, and so much of a sense of actually liking my body for the first time since I was 12 freaking years old, it really hurts to remember this same kind of mindset, thinking of all the years that I wasted hating my skin and hating my hair and hating my bulky masculine shapes, when the solution was right there in front of me the whole damned time, but I didn't know it was even possible until I finally stumbled on the "before and after" topic of this forum, and onto Youtube videos about the effects of hormones.
Quote from: suzifrommd on April 11, 2013, 08:41:15 AM
Jamie, I'd like to respectfully disagree. I didn't read it all, but I spent a few minutes with it.
It is full of the author's assumptions and many unproven and undocumented assertions presented as accepted unquestioned truth.
It does not match the reality I've seen so far nor the reality of any TG people I've met in real life. Most of the experiences reported here at Susan's diverge widely from that narrative.
I would not recommend it as a vehicle to provide clarity for people making the decision whether to transition.
I'm on the staff of the site that was linked.. We include that 'story' as an example of one persons experiences and opinions. When we refer users to it in the chatroom, we warn that is rather opinionated and somewhat confrontational. I'd like that warning to be included on each page, but the idea was canned.
Quote from: Kelly the Trans-Rebel on April 12, 2013, 01:37:54 AM
I'm on the staff of the site that was linked.. We include that 'story' as an example of one persons experiences and opinions. When we refer users to it in the chatroom, we warn that is rather opinionated and somewhat confrontational. I'd like that warning to be included on each page, but the idea was canned.
That's a shame, the story scared me when I initially read it last summer. It did give me more things to think and worry about, but obviously it didn't scare me enough since I still ended up here a few months later :)
Kia Ora,
I think the key thing to bear in mind when reading these tragic stories of trans-people having to de-transition, is no matter how similar a person's life circumstances are [prior to transitioning] to that of the de-transitioner in the story, one can never know for sure what ones future holds...
So by all means feel sad for them and empathise with their plight, but remember YOU are NOT the person you are reading about...Your circumstance might be similar but YOU are NOT them-your future as yet to unfold...
Metta Zenda :)
I wouldn't want someone calling my life tragic just because my path may be different. Hugs, Devlyn
Quote from: Devlyn Marie on April 13, 2013, 07:17:21 AM
I wouldn't want someone calling my life tragic just because my path may be different. Hugs, Devlyn
Kia Ora Devlyn,
Sadly for some, the de-transitioning experience for them was 'tragic' =
Causing or characterised by extreme distress or sorrow.[If this was not the case, then de-transitioning would'nt be such a big deal]...Plus for the most part when I'm talking about de-transition I'm thinking more about those who do it 'after' having surgery...Pre surgery de-transition can also be quite traumatic, but at least one has still got the parts-even if they don't function as well...
If in some cases it was not such a tragedy, then I'm happy that they survived the traumatic experience...
De-transitioning can't be an easy choice, especially if one thinks of all the pain, stress and 'overcoming' feelings of self doubt it took to transition in the first place...
Metta Zenda :)
being deathly honest reading de-transition story often makes me unconfortable.
I am in for people should be able to detransition anytime they want, I guess my unconfort is because I often know very little of the people who detransition. I dont know about there choose, if it was something they truely felt was the right thing to do or if they somehow felt presured into detransition because of people being ignorant.
it makes me feel unconfortable not knowing those things.
I have mixed feelings about reading "de-transitioning" stories. Reality - transitioning is tough for some and could be more difficult than to live the life they already have and know. Transitioning needs to be done for the right reasons and some will start down that road and at some point, realize that they were doing it for the wrong reasons. Transitioning creates problems and adds to the load of problems everyone carries and that load could become to burdensome. All of this is known and it is not surprising that some decide that transitioning is wrong for them or wrong for now. None of this bothers me.
What bothers me is that they make me ask myself questions, questions that at times are uncomfortable and sometimes unanswerable. I only hope that these stories and questions keep me asking and that one day, I find the answers. :-\