I guess I'm 6 months into my transition now, and I'm trying to make it as smooth as possible. I have some financial issues that mean I will have a much easier future if I can hang on for another couple of years before full transition, but I'm ok with taking things slowly most of the time as long as I can keep my eye on the long term goal.
Anyway, to help myself stay positive about things and reassure myself that I'm moving in the right direction, every now and then I try looking at the various parts of my transition to see how much progress is being made, and to try and plan things out as much as possible. I've put down my current thoughts below.
The percentage is how far I feel I am to completion.
Self-acceptance 90%
I have my odd wt* am I doing? days, but generally I've come around to who I am and I'm really pleased that I can finally let myself out of the cage. Starting HRT has been very affirming too. I'm still in male mode 5 days a week, but even then I'm interacting with the world more and more as my female self now, and it feels very liberating. I'm really looking forward to an outwardly female future.
Coming out 5%
Other than my SO I've told no one. This week comes the first round of friends. I am really scared about this (probably for no particular reason), but also glad to finally be getting this part in motion.
Hair removal 30%
Home beard removal with the Tria has had a fair amount of effect. There is more that needs to go, and I may go professional eventually. I will need electrolysis to remove the white hairs anyway.
Tria and hormones are doing great things for my body hair.
Voice training 5%
The 5% I get because I realise I have to do something. I' been trying various things, but I can't seem to make it click at all. I want to find a voice therapist because I have no confidence that I can do this on my own.
Socialisation as female 20%
I go out a couple of times a week. I started with simple walks at night, then going to restaurants, and now we take whole days and evenings out. I feel comfortable enough that I can move in crowds with confidence now and I get treated as a woman and that feels good. Unfortunately my voice still gives me away so I don't do much of the speaking. I really need to speak more, but first I need a voice.
Hormone changes ???
On hormones now for 10 weeks, and I've had some decent breast growth and fat redistribution to my bottom and hips. I hope I get more. I've lost some muscle. Skin is much softer, hair grows more slowly and my feet no longer do that odour thing when I take my shoes off. Pretty glad about that!
My face is getting softer, but this is where I'm hoping for the most effects. I hope I get it.
Hair 20%
I've been growing my hair out from very very short for 6 months now and it's about 3"(8cm) long. I have MBP so may need transplants, depending on how much of this new HRT induced peach fuzz turns into proper hair.
Wardrobe replacement 50%
At least I know my sizes now and where to get clothes and shoes that fit. I'm slowly putting together stuff for different times and occasions.
Future employment prospects 10%
I don't intend to transition on the job, and this is one of my biggest worries.
Is there anything I missed? Anyway, I still have a long way to go but I can see what needs to be done.
So how about you? I'd be really interested to hear how you think you're getting on with your transition too.
You know to put it simply , im doing great I feel great on the inside and I love the changes so far...
Ive come out to everyone and they accept and respect me , I dress more feminine dye my hair etc etc I do all these things
Τhere is a downside though...
I am the only one that sees it that way
to everyone else im just a guy (feminine , masculine it doesnt matter , all that matters is that im a guy to them)
and that takes all the happiness I feel with transition and eliminates it
everytime they call me dude , sir,,,every single time...
Quote from: FalsePrincess on March 17, 2014, 09:02:20 AM
everytime they call me dude , sir,,,every single time...
My ex calls me dude all the time, but yesterday we were hanging out with this other girl, and he started calling her "man" and "dude" too. So, that's just how some guys talk. But, getting called sir, yeah that sucks. Once you're on HRT long enough no one will call you "sir" no matter how you dress. A lot of it comes with time and patience. But presentation is also key. I just started wearing makeup again but that's cause I had the money to buy it. And I bought a lot. My fave being a MasterGlaze blush stick in pink by Maybelline. It's the best. I've been eye hustling up this blush for months and months. And it's finally mine!!!! I wanted it so bad I was going to steal it but thought that might be a bad idea.
Quote from: Joan on March 17, 2014, 08:17:29 AM
So how about you? I'd be really interested to hear how you think you're getting on with your transition too.
Self-acceptance 90%I really love myself, and my new life. I feel like a male some of the time, but I accept that this is left over from 50 years of living as one.
Coming out 100%Everyone knows me as Suzi
Hair removal 30%This is depressing. I've had full laser on my face, but too many white hairs for that to do the whole job. I'm about 1/3 through electrolysis, and then there's my gross body hair to deal with.
Voice training 100%I love my new voice. As sweet and feminine as I'd ever want it to be.
Socialization as female 100%This came easy to me. I've always relate to people the way a woman does.
Hormone changes ???Like you, I'm not sure. I have had emotional changes, sexual changes, soft skin, and facial changes. Still no hips and tiny boobs, though.
Hair 0%MPB will never improve. It will be wigs from here on out.
Wardrobe replacement 90%I'd still like more tops, both summer and winter. I'd like some more skirts, and some dresses I can wear to work. Other than that, I'm doing OK. I haven't run out of stuff to wear :)
Future employment prospects 90%My job should be secure, barring the unforseen.
Quote from: Joan on March 17, 2014, 08:17:29 AM
Is there anything I missed?
I don't know. Legal stuff maybe. Name change, gender marker change, etc.
I'm gonna add two more:
Self-esteem: 60%
Most days, I feel ok or pretty good about my appearance, but some days (like today) i feel ugly and hopeless, or like I'm not 'eligible' for successful transition. Often times i'll compare myself with my wife and it just brings me down because she looks exactly how I wish I looked. Luckily, this is usually balanced out by her unconditional support.
Social adaption: 30%
Aside from my wife and one other friend: all my friends constantly misgender me, and my parents and family and co-workers still call me by my male name and use male pronouns. This has a very defensive response from me, not in a verbal form, but in the situation that my mind reverts to a male facade because the misgendering is forcing my mind to behave male, the best way I can compare it is like going to a panic room when burglars break in, you feel more safe in the panic room but it doesn't necessarily mean you are happy to be there.. I only feel truly myself either at home or out in public with my wife... because i rarely get misgendered in public either out of respect/etiquette, or because i actually pass.... thought truthfully i think its because people are more respectful than i give them credit for.
Self-acceptance: 100%
I am proud of who I am and I'm happy to say that I feel like my life makes sense since discovering this about myself. I may not have been 100% sure of it since i was very little, but disorienting life and clouded personality were always a recurring factor, and now being sure of who I am compares to no other feeling.
Coming out: 100%
Everyone in my life knows, even those who don't know only don't know because I dont talk to them anymore or often, but word travels fast in my town and my entire family, co-workers, and friends know. A lot of the times they think that i'm playing a joke.
Hair removal: 0%
Unless you include regular shaving, I haven't removed any of my hair permanently nor have the hormones been going on long enough to remove any of it, but I keep my body completely shaved.
Voice training: 50%
The pronunciation is there and the inflections are there.. but the pitch isnt.
Socialisation as female: 90%
I dress full time and present as female everywhere I go, I just havent fully gone all the way at work because i feel i need to take it slow at work. But at home or around my friends or out in public im 100% female unless i'm heading to/leaving work.
Hormone changes: I'd say 5% maybe
Been on hormones a few days shy of a month and aside from changed to my sex drive and no more random erections or morning erections, i can't honestly say i've noticed anything difinitive. My skin MIGHT be softer, cant really tell. I have gotten skinnier but thats because i've been dieting. My hair is more controllable but thats because i actually take care of it now. I am feeling a lot more emotional than I use to, my anger has been exchanged for tears. I feel like crying a lot of the time for different reasons whether its losing friends or feeling hopeless in my transition. But it could just be my patience wearing thin, i've always been very emotional so i can't tell if I'm more emotional or if I'm just "looking" for it. No definitive changes other than the physical results of testosterone blocking that i mentioned earlier, as well as loss of ejaculate, shrinkage, and most likely sterility has already taken effect. Sorry if this is TMI but my sperm no longer looks like sperm. Otherwise, no breast development in the slightest, and seeing as its only month one, breast development would be the only "POSSIBLE" response, but it has not yet occured, and the rest of the stuff comes later on.
Hair: 20%
I too have been growing my hair out and part of it is currently upper-lip length. I say part of it because i went through this "phase" where i wanted long top hair and shaved sides, I thought it would look good on me, but then quickly abandoned it when i realized i wanted long, female hair. So I still got a couple of years on the hair growth.
Wardrobe replacement: 100%
Ive already abandoned all my male clothes and strictly wear female clothes. Thats not to say I dress up extravagantly all the time. Instead of loose, baggy jeans ~ I wear tight, flared jeans or jeggings, or just different color leggings. My closet has only female clothes.
Future employment prospects: 100% for now
I work with my parents, they are the managers. They support my transition and pretty much told everyone in the office, their (my coworkers) options were either stay and deal with it, or leave. Seeing as my office is a very family-operated-business (hispanic nature) everyone has been working here for years and they're all parents as well, so luckily while they didn't fully understand it, they accepted it. So currently my job is secure, though the reason I say for now is because i work in shipping and export to venezuela, and I'm sure you all know how things are over there right now ~ its putting stress on our business. I am studying music production and engineering, seeing as its an art industry, my transition status is either welcomed or not an issue. Might even be a bonus.
Nice post Joan. Re your changes on HRT, ten weeks is hardly any time at all, so don't worry overly, usually at the six month mark the changes become a little more obvious by then and keep improving thereafter.
My transition is zooming along, if I filled out any of those points the list would be different tomorrow. Most of my friends know now and I have been out with many of them as Grace. I'm outing myself at work today and will be full time there by Monday. Will be telling my family before Monday. Still need to work on the beard but that's about 50%, hair regrowth has been promising but it will be wigs possibly for years. I expect my wardrobe will be changing significantly in the next week - have a good start but don't have more than a weeks worth, need more, more, more! :)
Self-acceptance is great. I know what you mean by the "What the...?" moments, had them intensely for the first few months on HRT but they have dropped away to near zero now. I feel very happy about my decision to transition this time. Voice is as good as it will ever be, when I use it in face to face conversations with shop assistants they don't even blink so that's a pass in my eyes. As for socialisation, I've always been female socialised since my first attempt at transition, I just had to bury some mannerisms. So, full steam ahead. :)
Quote from: FalsePrincess on March 17, 2014, 09:02:20 AM
Τhere is a downside though...
I am the only one that sees it that way
to everyone else im just a guy (feminine , masculine it doesnt matter , all that matters is that im a guy to them)
and that takes all the happiness I feel with transition and eliminates it
everytime they call me dude , sir,,,every single time...
Reading this actually got me kinda teary eyed... I know exactly how you feel.. every time my friends call me Emily, I smile, but then they instantly destroy it by calling me Him or He... and some friends even remind me that "they'll never see me as female, i'll always be a guy to them." and it destroys me. I even have a friend who wont go into a gay bar, not because hes a homophobe, he has nothing against gays... but he doesn't want to run into other transpeople... and he fails to see how that effects how I feel. Half support is not support.
Just tell them they obviously don't care enough about you to bother trying.
Self-acceptance 50%
As long as I don't have my vagina and face fully passable I'm never gonna accept myself as ->-bleeped-<-.
Coming out 100%/0%
I'm out since 2009 full time but on STEALTH now though so I'm not sure coming out in which sense?
Hair removal 90%
23 laser sessions on face since 2009 and it's still not over pfff
Voice training 90%
My voice is passable as female fortunately but on super high falseto
Socialisation as female 5%
I don't like socializing cos I am not fully passable for now, I will when I'm complete.
Hormone changes 10%
The most f... up thing in my transition. I take injectable Estradiol Valerate since 2009 and I think the only good thing is smooth hair and nice skin, besides that boobs, hips etc is all f.. up.
Hair 100%
Thanks God I'm blessed.
Wardrobe replacement 40%
I just have basic stuffs but when I have my face and vagina I'll take this side more seriously.
Future employment prospects ?
Not sure
At 14 months in, here's my "ratings":
Self-acceptance 80%
I pretty much knew that I was never going to go off of HRT ever since I started it in the first place, because to me it was the difference between night and day, between feeling emotionally brain-dead and completely alive. So accepting my gender-nonconforming status was settled pretty quickly. With that said, though, I'm still having some problems really accepting myself as actually being female. I still have a few inadequacy issues that are keeping me from fully embracing my femaleness. This will likely only jump up the final 20% once I'm actually full-time for a while, though, so there's nothing but making the big jump that can remedy it.
Self-esteem 30%
I've frankly just started finding this. I'm basically full-time, and haven't been gendered male in the last two weeks straight (ever since I started wearing my hair back with dangly earrings,) even with many people who very clearly had no idea that I was trans. But I still have a VERY hard time believing that I'm really passing. I see it in the mirror, and kind of believe it, but I'm always obsessing over my flaws, and almost find it hard to believe every time I'm gendered female. But I'm starting to get to the point where I'm realizing that just because I can see my maleness doesn't mean that anyone else can. But I've still got a long way to go on this.
Coming out 90%
Out to everyone important in my life. The only thing stopping this from being 100% is that I need a job as a girl first before it will really be complete.
Hair removal 80%
Basically done with laser, so almost nothing grows back now. It takes about 8 weeks for even the tiniest hint of a dark shadow to start showing again. I still have a few blond facial hairs that I have to shave, but it's basically gone. I'll probably need electrolysis to finish it up.
Voice training 70%
My voice passes pretty much 100% of the time, and everyone tells me it's good, but I still have a LONG way to go before I'll feel completely happy with it. Cis-women still just have so much dynamics in their voices, so much expression, where I can feel myself still subconsciously holding back, not really able to "let go" and be emotional and dynamic in the same way. Plus it still takes conscious effort to speak in a female voice that I'm happy with, even though my "natural" voice is still read as female pretty much always.
Socialisation as female 30%
REALLY need to work on this. It's admittedly my fault, because I've been too scared to hang out with cis-girls and learn from them, due to my feelings of inadequacy. I feel like this is the one area where I really lack. I still really feel inadequate in terms of learning how to talk like a girl, just naturally accept my own femaleness, and really get used to the social experiences. But again, I know it's not going to come until I'm full-time.
Hormone changes 65%
(This is on a purely statistical level. Supposedly you'll reach 80% of your changes by the 18-month mark, and I'm at 14 months, so math dictates this one.) In terms of how well I've feminized, I have no complaints whatsoever. I definitely have boobs, I definitely have a girl butt, my muscles have shrunk down to nothing, and I'm starting to appear female and pass even with basically no effort whatsoever. So yeah, technically I'm only 65% of the way there, and there is still a LOT more to come in the next few years, but in terms of personal happiness with my results so far, I'd put it at about 80%. I do still want more, but it's already exceeded my expectations. Especially emotionally. WOW, I feel good inside now! :)
Hair 50%
Grr... stupid hair... I've been growing it out for FOURTEEN MONTHS now, and my bangs are still barely down to my eyebrows, and the rest of it is still barely off of my head. This is taking FOR... FREAKING... EVER!!! Plus the hair on the back of my head is still a little thin.
Wardrobe replacement 20%
I'm still dressing in bland androgynous clothes, basically too scared to really expand my wardrobe and find a feminine style that works for me. This, I've basically barely even started. I REALLY need to work on it.
Future employment prospects 10%
I'm unemployed right now. I was basically fired from my last job due to being trans, and fired from the one before that due to a mistake I made during a bad night of dysphoria. I'm planning on going full-time, and just starting my new job as a girl, but the prospects of hiring discrimination scare the s*** out of me. Especially since I don't have my name or gender marker legally changed yet. So I'm about as nervous as I could be in regards to my work situation. Only the fact that I seem to be passing relatively consistently is giving me some hope here. And what makes it worse is that right now I'm still not actually doing anything that I WANT to do, something that I'm passionate about and feel like is meaningful, I'm just applying for jobs as a necessity for survival. So after I do find a job, this will maybe jump up to 60% or so. After that, it will take either going back to school and getting my teaching degree, or actually accomplishing some of the writing/Youtube projects that I've been dreaming of doing for years, before I'll really feel like I'm doing something meaningful.
Quote from: LittleEmily24 on March 17, 2014, 01:11:16 PM
Reading this actually got me kinda teary eyed... I know exactly how you feel.. every time my friends call me Emily, I smile, but then they instantly destroy it by calling me Him or He... and some friends even remind me that "they'll never see me as female, i'll always be a guy to them." and it destroys me. I even have a friend who wont go into a gay bar, not because hes a homophobe, he has nothing against gays... but he doesn't want to run into other transpeople... and he fails to see how that effects how I feel. Half support is not support.
Cut them off. They are not your friends. Friends don't say stuff like this. I got into a fight with my ex's roommate, she's like 50 or something, so twice my and his age about and the first place she went was ..."listen girl, oh wait boy, oh yeah, hermaphrodite...whatever it is the eff you are..." First argument, first place she went. She apologized and I forgave her. Kinda. Mainly I did cause my ex is alos my best friend and he thinks the same way so I don't want to make it awkward for him. So I just accepted it. But If these people are saying stuff like I don't want to run into transpeople...RED FLAG. The He or She stuff. That can be foregivin in my book. People need time. Sometimes. I now my ex used to call me he all the time and people would get freaked out and say "Why do you keep calling her him?" One guy, who i just told cause I had bad beard shadow and stuff and he still said the only thing that betrays you is that beard shadow. I have no idea how he can even think of you as male by looking at you and hearing you talk. But he is supportive and he just neeeded time. Now he calls me she and her all the time and never misses. Of course, I look a lot more female, I think, so could be that.
But really, if they are that against trans peeps, maybe it's time to ditch them. However, how are they to YOU. Don't worry about other trans people. My ex always says when he shows my pic to people they are flabberghasted cause they have stereotypes in their head and it isn't of a 5'5, 125 lb delicate dirty pretty thing like me. The other day I was walking around with him and we ran into this trans woman who did not pass and she wanted change or a doller or something and he made me stop and not give her money because he said it's not my job to save the world, you have surgery to save up for, are they going to help you? Who ever helps you and you look like this helpless little frail female. And he was right. It's not my job to help other trans people or anyone for that matter, cause I'm in rough shape financially. I need surgery,. So that's my story and I'm sticking to it.
Moral is: I'd consider cutting them off. Sorry for the long post.
Self-esteem: 90% I'm almost there completely. Still feel a bit self-conscious about being too bulky, but I no longer wish to hasten my expiration date.
Social adaptation: 100% This was easy. All I had to do was stop pretending to be dudely, and now everyone gets that I'm a girl.
Self-acceptance: 100% I'm 100% on board. Every day gets a bit better and I'm finally living the dream.
Coming out: 100% Everyone knows.
Hair removal: 80% Still have icky body hair, but mah face is 99% there.
Voice training: 60% It's OK, I sometimes get ma'am-ed on the phone now...
Socialisation as female: 100% I'm there.
Hormone changes: I'd say 50% maybe Small bewbs, some butt, soft skin, less body hair, emotional bliss.
Hair: 80% Still need to let the new growth catch up to the rest, but I don't think I'll need plugs now. What I have is good enough to go out with. Wish it was longer/thicker.
Wardrobe replacement: 100% I don't wear guy clothes. It's all girly now.
Future employment prospects: ??? I'm mostly unemployable now. Haven't had a proper day job in years, but my wife is a prominent attorney and I can/do make money as a guitar tech/luthier/guitar collecter/dealer. We're pretty far into the top tax bracket, so if I do make money, the taxes wipe out too much of it to make it worth my time. If I want a day job, all I have to do is buy/start a business.
Self-acceptance 30%
There are many times when I wonder if it would just be easier to just suck it up and live life as a guy. I accept that I'm actually a girl inside, and my personality is girl-centric. I don't HATE being a guy, but it bothers me slightly every time someone refers to me as 'sir', 'he', or 'him. I am afraid to come out because of its potential effects on future employment, discrimination, just making life more difficult in general, confidence issues, being afraid of how others will react and treat me, being able to fit in without being seen as a freak, making new friends and new relationships, and how it could hurt my family. I feel that my family would be extremely embarrassed of me.
Self-esteem 20%
There are times that I feel that I'm attractive as a girl, and there are times that I feel I'm totally ick. I need to lose some weight so that I can have a more feminine figure. I hate how my body looks from the head down, and I'm not a huge fan of how my face looks either. I have a very square body shape and it bothers me.
Coming out 10%
I've told my parents a while back, but they don't accept it. A whole bunch of my closer friends know and are fully accepting of it, but my work doesn't know (I'm sure that some of them suspect it), but I feel that they would be very accepting if they found out. I'm surrounded by great co-workers and supportive management. My parents give me a lot of flack whenever they see me dressed as a girl. My closest friends are extremely supportive of me.
Hair removal 95%
I went through a year of electrolysis and barely got anywhere. I then went through a dozen sessions of laser hair removal, and my facial hair is almost completely gone.
Voice training 70%
I took lessons with a speech language pathologist for a couple of months. I then bought Kathe Perez's 30 day crash course, and found it to be extremely helpful. My speech therapist and gender therapist believe that I was blessed to start with a naturally higher voice (I'm upper tenor/countertenor), and that it will be a much easier transition for me. I haven't practiced a lot, so I haven't had a lot of progression yet. I am confident that with practice, I can achieve a passable voice.
Socialisation as female 2%
I visit my gender therapist every week in female mode, but I mostly spend time with other people as a guy. I've hung out with a couple of my female friends in girl mode, but that's about it. It feels very awkward to me still, and I am not confident about whether or not I pass.
Hormone changes 1%
I started taking a lower starting dose of Estradiol on February 4, 2014 (but no antiandrogen - my endo looked at my face and said "you look like you dont need spiro, your face looks very clear of hair, and the entire process is cleaner without spiro") Today is March 17 and I still haven't noticed a single change caused by the estrogen yet. I have no buds, pain, tenderness, no noticeable skin changes, no emotional or physical changes, or anything. Blah. This is a source of disappointment for me thus far. I know it's only been 6 weeks, but it disappoints me when people say that their boobs started feeling tender after a few days, yet I haven't had anything happen after 6 weeks.
Hair 60%
I like my hair and it took me a year to grow it out, but I need it styled/trimmed! I'm afraid to find a hair stylist that would be supportive of my transition. I wish that my hair was thicker.
Wardrobe replacement 90%
I have HUNDREDS of pairs of heels and boots. I'm so happy about my shoe collection, and I'm obsessed about heels. I also have a decent amount of jeans, pants, tops, and skirts to fill out my outfits. I'm excited about a trench coat that I got that gives me a more feminine shape via use of colorblocking, angles, cut, and flare.
Future employment prospects 80%
I work for a large insurance company, as a licensed agent, that has specific language in the employee handbook that bans discrimination based on gender identity. I'm very happy about that, and am confident that my coworkers and management would be extremely supportive. I am very fortunate that my job allows me to work from home (i've worked in office there for 6 years prior).
I am also planning to buy a home soon, and shortly thereafter, pursue completion of college degrees in computer science.
doing alright . the baby step forward progress approach. going on five months people are seeing changes because they react to me slightly differently. I know some people are curious but don't say anything.
Quote from: LittleEmily24 on March 17, 2014, 01:11:16 PM
Reading this actually got me kinda teary eyed... I know exactly how you feel.. every time my friends call me Emily, I smile, but then they instantly destroy it by calling me Him or He... and some friends even remind me that "they'll never see me as female, i'll always be a guy to them." and it destroys me. I even have a friend who wont go into a gay bar, not because hes a homophobe, he has nothing against gays... but he doesn't want to run into other transpeople... and he fails to see how that effects how I feel. Half support is not support.
I agree with Joanna. These are NOT your friends. There are people out there that will love you for who you, are instead of who they want you to be. True friends are 100% accepting and supportive of you. They empower you to help you to do things that you couldn't do by yourself. Sounds like these people are holding you back, and they are not worthy of being called a 'friend'.
You need to cut them off and you will eventually find people who are 100% supportive of you.
Self-acceptance: 95%
I know who I am and I know what I want. I have my doubts from time to time about various things, but especially when it comes to transition I have never been so resolute about anything.
Coming out: 80%
I am not out at work....but I am in my own life. I have to admit it is strange to have people I don't even know well to know something I had previously considered so personal. Work, eh, They don't know anything about me, and at this job I intend to keep it that way.
Hair removal: 50%
IT NEVER ENDS!
Voice training: 50%
I can do a great voice....but I have so much trouble keeping the pitch up, that I am thinking about Yeson voice surgery.
Socialisation as female: 30%
I need to get out more. I mean seriously I work (away from home) 5-7 days a week and when I am home I just want to relax a bit, so I end up doing nothing. It also doesn't help that I have a serious aversion to spending money because I need to save what I have (living off of MREs and ramen these days).
Hormone changes: ?%
They bounce, they hurt, they even fill out my bra now, but I am on an incredibly low dose right now. I don't know what to make of it, but based on the progress I am getting I haven't seen a single person report this much on such a small dose. So, I don't really know how far along those changes are. I am trying not to go full time for another year....but, with the way I am responding and the fact my mother was a double D, IDK. I have no idea how far I am along.
Hair: 90% My hairline could be lower (which will be fixed surgically), but my hair itself looks great now. I have had hair between my shoulders and waist since I was 13, so I have never had short hair in my adult life. I have always loved my hair, even if it gets all wavy at the tips, and is a nondescript shade of brown. Also, I am very lucky to have no hair loss nor history of it in my family. To put this into comparison I spend more time brushing my hair than watching television. (which is a bit of a trick as I watch less than 2 hours a week lol).
Wardrobe replacement: ?%
Can you ever have enough shoes, clothes, and accessories? Deep in my heart I say no. Also some of my clothes like Tripp NYC "Bondage" pants and whatnot are pretty unisex and even though they tend to be quite large on me now, whatever I am keeping them. Same with my paintball clothes, because even though all of my gear is in my storage unit, I do still intend to play. Though at this rate I am gonna need a chest protector because I imagine one paintball hitting the girls at 200mph would cause so much pain that I would just die right there on the spot.
Future employment prospects: 0%
It isn't zero because I don't think I will be able to get a job, it is zero because I want a job in a different field and I haven't done much work towards making that a reality, primarily because I make more money in the transportation industry at the moment than I could with my skill set and credentials in IT at the moment. No one wants a Delphi person, and no one really cares how much I know about Linux if I don't have any networking certificates or degrees.
All in all, I would rate my transition at less than 25% done, and in general as frustratingly slow by design.
I seem to be the reverse of a lot of answers... I'd rate my transition except for the bottom bits as 100% done in 2010, and GRS finished it off in 2012. But my self-acceptance and self-esteem are still like 10%. :(
Hello again, all. Lots of very interesting thoughts, and some quite saddening comments too.
FP: That really sucks :( I'm sure that with time HRT will have its effects, but from that photo you posted a while back I can't understand why they would say that.
Suzi: Legal stuff, yes! I'm in a bit of a nowhere land with that so I'm kind of pushing that from my mind guess. And I know exactly what you mean about the white hairs!
Emily: Self-esteem is a good call. I guess I kind of lumped it in with self-acceptance but thinking about it my self-acceptance is pretty much there, but my self-esteem, especially regarding my appearance, is still a long way off.
Grace: I'm so pleased for you for where you are now. I hope today went well. I'm trying to stay patient about HRT but the need to feel progress all the time is strong!
EvolvingBeauty: My word, yes! Hair removal takes forever, and that's one of the reasons I may bite the bullet and find a salon.
Carrie: I think you're being very hard on yourself in so many areas. To me you're pretty much there I think. I'm really with you on the socialisation thing though. I really want women to accept me as a woman, probably more than anything, and it feels fantastic when I get that smile from another woman in a shop and that sense of solidarity.
Jill: you're through and out t he other side! Fantastic :)
KatelynRain: That's really too bad about your parents and the HRT progress. I hope those things start getting better for you.
Stephanie: Baby steps still move you forward!
Hikari: You seem to have most of it under control, and yes, I know what you mean about the wardrobe! When are you going to go full time? :)
JennaMarie: I'm really sorry to hear that. Is there something that is holding these things back? :(
What comes across is that we all seem to have strong areas, things we're blessed with or things we can do well. I guess we need to bring the other things along to a decent level, and that's where it begins to get hard. For me that's coming out to people and finding a workable voice ???
Quote from: Joan on March 17, 2014, 08:17:29 AM
I guess I'm 6 months into my transition now, and I'm trying to make it as smooth as possible. I have some financial issues that mean I will have a much easier future if I can hang on for another couple of years before full transition, but I'm ok with taking things slowly most of the time as long as I can keep my eye on the long term goal.
Anyway, to help myself stay positive about things and reassure myself that I'm moving in the right direction, every now and then I try looking at the various parts of my transition to see how much progress is being made, and to try and plan things out as much as possible. I've put down my current thoughts below.
The percentage is how far I feel I am to completion.
Self-acceptance 90%
I have my odd wt* am I doing? days, but generally I've come around to who I am and I'm really pleased that I can finally let myself out of the cage. Starting HRT has been very affirming too. I'm still in male mode 5 days a week, but even then I'm interacting with the world more and more as my female self now, and it feels very liberating. I'm really looking forward to an outwardly female future.
Coming out 5%
Other than my SO I've told no one. This week comes the first round of friends. I am really scared about this (probably for no particular reason), but also glad to finally be getting this part in motion.
Hair removal 30%
Home beard removal with the Tria has had a fair amount of effect. There is more that needs to go, and I may go professional eventually. I will need electrolysis to remove the white hairs anyway.
Tria and hormones are doing great things for my body hair.
Voice training 5%
The 5% I get because I realise I have to do something. I' been trying various things, but I can't seem to make it click at all. I want to find a voice therapist because I have no confidence that I can do this on my own.
Socialisation as female 20%
I go out a couple of times a week. I started with simple walks at night, then going to restaurants, and now we take whole days and evenings out. I feel comfortable enough that I can move in crowds with confidence now and I get treated as a woman and that feels good. Unfortunately my voice still gives me away so I don't do much of the speaking. I really need to speak more, but first I need a voice.
Hormone changes ???
On hormones now for 10 weeks, and I've had some decent breast growth and fat redistribution to my bottom and hips. I hope I get more. I've lost some muscle. Skin is much softer, hair grows more slowly and my feet no longer do that odour thing when I take my shoes off. Pretty glad about that!
My face is getting softer, but this is where I'm hoping for the most effects. I hope I get it.
Hair 20%
I've been growing my hair out from very very short for 6 months now and it's about 3"(8cm) long. I have MBP so may need transplants, depending on how much of this new HRT induced peach fuzz turns into proper hair.
Wardrobe replacement 50%
At least I know my sizes now and where to get clothes and shoes that fit. I'm slowly putting together stuff for different times and occasions.
Future employment prospects 10%
I don't intend to transition on the job, and this is one of my biggest worries.
Is there anything I missed? Anyway, I still have a long way to go but I can see what needs to be done.
So how about you? I'd be really interested to hear how you think you're getting on with your transition too.
I like the way you put this.
here is mine
Im almost 2 years into my transition. Went full time last may.
Self acceptance: 80% Gotta get surgury to hit that last 20%
Coming out : 5% im not even gonna get into the details. it was bad
Hair removal: 80% aside from shaving my legs most my other body hair disappeared.
Voice training: I didnt really train it, me and my roomie played around with pitches I like one day, and over time it just kinda happened. I didn't consciously make an effort.
Socialization as female: I pass, I very rarely get clocked, and aside from some body language, I stlll choose my words like a man. most the guys I hang out with and women, just think im a Vulgar and very brash woman. but they love me non the less.
Hormone changes: id say im satisfied, cant really think of a %
Hair: I love my hair, I loved my hair to begin with, I just love the fact now I can wear it long all I want and style it.
Wardrobe replacment: 99% still got a few male shirts I use to sleep in cause they are big and baggy.
Future employment: I lost my job cause of transition. I have a new one that im full time at. But imma go back to college as a full time student this summer/fall. I want a professional career, im tired of scrapping the bottom.
I'm about six months on a regular dose of HRT, but a year on HRT at the second lowest dose possible of spiro and the lowest does possible of E. Now, It's normal to high.
Self acceptance: 100 percent. I accept who I am and have been at this stage since 2004 when i transitioned non-hormonally. I got called my GF's ugly sister a lot.
Coming out : I let HRT do that for me. Within two months of starting the low dose, the changes were impossible to hide.
Hair removal: Body hair: 90 percent. I shaved it, and it didn't come back. I imagine that's the sprio. Face: zero percent.
Voice training: My voice never really broke and I was a contralto in choir in High School.
Socialization as female: I'm pretty much full time, had/have/on a break with the BF or whateva. Though he is coming back around. Everyone treats me as a female, 'cept family and even they are now, cause it's kinda hard to refer to me as male.
Hormone changes: Very satisfied. I'm a 32D-27-35 so I guess they did their work. I could use a bigger butt though.
Hair: Hate it. It's short and this girl the other day was telling me I could get extensions for $100 and she will help me put them in since she said she had hair exactly like mine. If I had longer hair and laser I'd prolly look great, but I like short hair too so maybe I'll just do the laser and keep rockin' this pixie. I'm dyeing it blonde as soon as I get laser. Hopefully b4 the BF and I go to NYC on May. 1 for vacay/fun/business/fun. We like fun. He started calling us a couple in front of other people the other day...ill shut up...i know i talk about him way tooo much...but he's all i got. Well and my mom. So I guess that's alot all things considered since I present female right in front of my mom now. We're watching the Following and I'm wearing ballet flats and a my PJs so...this isn't bout hair at all. well it was.
Wardrobe replacement: Love it. It will never be complete so I can't put a percentage on it. One of the things I love most about this is shopping and buying makeup and no one ever looks at me funny and I use the women's changing room. I don't really have a choice. People escort me to the women's restroom when I had to ask a week ago, so if I tried to use the men's they'd prolly be like...over there lady.
Future employment: I lost my job within a month and half as soon as I took off my suit. My body showed and along with my androgynous/femme face it screams woman. It's getting easier for me to see it, but still, IDK. I'm suing them but now have a job as a an online tutor and it is paying okay, not great but it does the job.
After 40 years of living woman's life I'd say it's pretty good! ;D (Sorry girls! LOL!)
Quote from: Northern Jane on March 18, 2014, 04:57:20 PM
After 40 years of living woman's life I'd say it's pretty good! ;D (Sorry girls! LOL!)
Good for you Jane. Thanks for your help for us newbies. I sure need help crossing over 100%.
Quote from: Joan on March 18, 2014, 05:03:46 AM
Hikari: You seem to have most of it under control, and yes, I know what you mean about the wardrobe! When are you going to go full time? :)
I had intended it to be about a year from now, I really would rather just go and get it all over with, but I am a
very cautious person. I like to know exactly what can go wrong and have the resources in reserve in case they do. Unfortunately I am also a very emotional person, so this becomes like an internal war a bit :P
To give you an idea of just how slow I tend to move, I didn't really join this site until I had basically decided that I couldn't really be happy without a full physical transition, and that was 4 years ago, and since then I have been working towards the goal of transition and here I am only on HRT lol, not even having had an surgeries done. Now, I did make tons of progress on things I consider prerequisites when I very first joined this site, I was totally codependent, I had no job, no degree, no certifications, no prospects, and had managed to push almost all of my friends away. For me in order to even have a transition I had so much work to do, before I could really start the physical parts of it, but now that the physical parts are here, I know it was worth every minute. That and there is something to be said about transition pushing me to become independent, win back most of my friends, finally make enough money to pay all of my bills, get some self respect, and become happier.
All I can say, is that even though I want things to be over like yesterday, I am already happier than I have really ever been in my life.
Good morning all! And if it wasn't for all that pollution rolling in from China obscuring my view of the mountains, this was be a perfect day in early spring :)
Teela Renee: Sounds to me like you are there, but then maybe to those of us still on this side see someone go full time and think that transition is done.
And Joanna, I guess to me what you wrote made me think you are through and on the other side. I hope the lawsuit falls out in your favour :)
Northern Jane: Yeah! Goos for you :D
Reading some of these replies, especially from those who are already full time, kind of maks me wonder, just when is a transition over?? ???
Quote from: Hikari on March 18, 2014, 08:20:36 PM
I had intended it to be about a year from now, I really would rather just go and get it all over with, but I am a very cautious person. I like to know exactly what can go wrong and have the resources in reserve in case they do. Unfortunately I am also a very emotional person, so this becomes like an internal war a bit :P
To give you an idea of just how slow I tend to move, I didn't really join this site until I had basically decided that I couldn't really be happy without a full physical transition, and that was 4 years ago, and since then I have been working towards the goal of transition and here I am only on HRT lol, not even having had an surgeries done. Now, I did make tons of progress on things I consider prerequisites when I very first joined this site, I was totally codependent, I had no job, no degree, no certifications, no prospects, and had managed to push almost all of my friends away. For me in order to even have a transition I had so much work to do, before I could really start the physical parts of it, but now that the physical parts are here, I know it was worth every minute. That and there is something to be said about transition pushing me to become independent, win back most of my friends, finally make enough money to pay all of my bills, get some self respect, and become happier.
All I can say, is that even though I want things to be over like yesterday, I am already happier than I have really ever been in my life.
Hikaru-san
I'm with you on this completely. I'm a planner and an evaluator. I like to look at things from every angle and then make my decision, and I probably think about things too much sometimes. I'm not sure whether that is better than a slight recklessness about things. I envy people who are a bit reckless and just get on with things and see how they fall out.
Like you I really think having a good base in place makes transition easier, and it's awesome that you did all that you did in these four years.
Btw 私も女の子ですよ...:D
Quote from: Joan on March 18, 2014, 08:52:43 PM
Good morning all! And if it wasn't for all that pollution rolling in from China obscuring my view of the mountains, this was be a perfect day in early spring :)
Teela Renee: Sounds to me like you are there, but then maybe to those of us still on this side see someone go full time and think that transition is done.
And Joanna, I guess to me what you wrote made me think you are through and on the other side. I hope the lawsuit falls out in your favour :)
Northern Jane: Yeah! Goos for you :D
Reading some of these replies, especially from those who are already full time, kind of maks me wonder, just when is a transition over?? ???
I'm thinking that it's probably never really "over". We are constantly evolving. My transition likely ends with me being six feet under. Hopefully a long time from now.
Well........
I might be a bit odd, but right now the only thing I really care about is getting rid of my male persona.
Right now I'm about 80% there, I still have some family to tell.
I've stopped worring so much on my voice, because it will come in time.
Also, I've stopped worrying if I pass, because I pass in my own eyes, and that helps me be confident.
Quote from: Joan on March 18, 2014, 08:52:43 PM
Good morning all! And if it wasn't for all that pollution rolling in from China obscuring my view of the mountains, this was be a perfect day in early spring :)
Teela Renee: Sounds to me like you are there, but then maybe to those of us still on this side see someone go full time and think that transition is done.
And Joanna, I guess to me what you wrote made me think you are through and on the other side. I hope the lawsuit falls out in your favour :)
Northern Jane: Yeah! Goos for you :D
Reading some of these replies, especially from those who are already full time, kind of maks me wonder, just when is a transition over?? ???
I can see how you could see it that way, but to me transition isnt over till no more mr peepee.
Good question.
6 months on HRT, feel good, some changes for my body, can't wait for more. I want some nice breasts & some hips!
Retired/decent $ so no need about a job.
Hair, damn, some electrolysis for facial hair however so much more to do, it just hurts. Body hair, I hope HRT & time can help. If not for hair problems I would have lived normal long long ago.
Always a woman, so mentally just fine, It's only a question of changing & improving my body.
Appearance: I'm very passable & live 90% normal female. Just hate beard/stupid hair/shaving.
So doing all I can I guess.
I could do better. More electrolysis for facial hair. Plastic surgery for a face & neck lift. I need to do both however I just cannot get motivated. Guess I'm hoping for the majic pills that never work.
To me, transition was over the day I went full-time at work. I had to delay my name change for unrelated legal reasons and GRS was a couple years later, but to me those were logistical issues and not defining moments of my transition. (I did work under my female name for the duration, so for all intents and purposes I never presented male again after that day. And what's in my pants was no one's business but mine and my wife's.)
Well, I don't know...it seems that transition might be the lifelong process that Jill and others suggest. I kind of hope I can leave that feeling behind at some point and forget, for most of the time at least, that I was born physically male. I really hope that happens some day.
I've made a little bit of progress over the weekend.
Coming out has jumped another 10% or so as I came out to my first friend on Friday night. It took a few deep breaths to get it out, but then she just said "it doesn't actually seem at all strange", and then suggested we go out shopping together. Easy-peasy :D. Well, not exactly but less traumatic than I'd convinced myself it was going to be.
Also I've sen a few people this weekend who I havene't seen since I started HRT, and all of them commented on how different I look, and how much younger I look, so I guess the hormones are having some effect :)
Quote from: Joan on March 22, 2014, 09:20:12 AM
Well, I don't know...it seems that transition might be the lifelong process that Jill and others suggest. I kind of hope I can leave that feeling behind at some point and forget, for most of the time at least, that I was born physically male. I really hope that happens some day.
I've made a little bit of progress over the weekend.
Coming out has jumped another 10% or so as I came out to my first friend on Friday night. It took a few deep breaths to get it out, but then she just said "it doesn't actually seem at all strange", and then suggested we go out shopping together. Easy-peasy :D. Well, not exactly but less traumatic than I'd convinced myself it was going to be.
Also I've sen a few people this weekend who I havene't seen since I started HRT, and all of them commented on how different I look, and how much younger I look, so I guess the hormones are having some effect :)
I dont think transition is a lifelong process, you cant transition forever at some point you have to end it...I think
anyway glad you re moving forward:) hormones definately do work which we cant see but others can :/
I felt like I should do a detailed post too :angel: dont mind me
Self-acceptance 100%Well I accept myself completely, Im proud to be trans and I feel ready to walk this path in life, I just wish I had realised sooner...
Also as I accept myself I dont accept looking like a guy , when that changes Im sure I ll feel even better .
Coming out 97%Well pretty much anyone who socialises with me knows , except random relatives I rarely see and random classmates I rarely speak to,,,I guess they ll know when it becomes more obvious what Im trying to achieve...coming out wasnt easy , but it went better than expected ,,,,
Hair removal in progressI ve started laser on my face , stomach ,lower back,,,so far so good I dont even get a beard shadow anymore... I ll see what I ll do with my arms , and I guess hrt should help with leg hair a bit,,,I hope ,,, everything seems to be going well though...
Voice training 0%I ve given up voice training , not because its too hard or because I cant make a female voice , but because I hate the feeling of having to pretend , to create something unnatural that I dont posses...Id rather be a girl with a fricking low voice than having to stress about it all the time,,,the thing is though that Id love to have my own female voice , so surgery is an option,,,I ve also noticed that the more I hang out with girls the more I speak like them XDXD wierd feeling but I like it , I feel more at peace like that :angel:
Socialisation as female 100% kinda...
I used to really get anxious about that,,,stuff like "i need to go out as a girl" , stress over things I need to do and how others will see me etc etc . I realised something though, Im always socialising as a female , at least on the inside ,,,if others see me as a guy its their fault not mine...
Right now its really wierd cause sometimes people gender me female and some male,,,all im planning to do is be myself without having to feel that I need to "create" something, if people see my true self then I ll be happy , if not I ll continue being me.
I am me , I see a girl inside me , and no girl has to try to be a girl , thats what Im aiming for here... will be tough I know,,,but I dont really give a damn anymore,,,I ll let things move on.
Hormone changes in progress 15%Well 3 months and a week on hrt , changes that were expected to happen within this period did happened,,,now im waiting for bigger boobs , less hair , less muscle (my main consern) and a more feminine body and face in general ,,,maybe I ll undergo ffs to make things better but we ll see about that...
Hair 80%My hair is long now , Id like my hair to be even longer so I need to wait a bit for that,,,Im planning to change colour and style sometime soon,,,
but they re long enough to enable me pass so thats nice.
Wardrobe replacement 5%->-bleeped-<- me I need clothes, Im planing to do a major shopping trip both online and offline in a couple of months...
Future employment prospects Well I have no idea , im 19 I ve never worked before :/
I guess I need to focus on my studies and see what will happen
Overall I ve realised by now that transition isnt an easy progress, needs a ton of patience and inner strenght,,,but as time passes I can see that is worth it,,,worth it a lot... :)
Self-acceptance 80%
I really know I am a woman and I feel great now that I accepted that. I am not living as the real me yet, not a single day, but I am incorporing my feminine traits into my usual self and I am gradually changing and feeling happier each time. Still, there are several times where I think if I took the right choice, but I know that I must go until the end now, so no coming back.
Coming out 80%
I came out to my mother (but she passed away :'() and my grandparents. I don't need telling any other member of my family, because I rerely see anybody else. I have just a few friends and they don't know yet. I'm pretty sure they won't be my friends anymore after I tell them.
Hair removal 10%
I am just shaving my body hair, but already started facial hair removal with IPL and it is working! Nexrt monday will be my second session, but there are already several missing patches of beard yay
Voice training 30%
I already had several voice training sessions and I can make a fairly female voice, but my phonoaudiologist is not happy because she thinks I am falling into the falsetto range (what I disagree, but...)
Socialisation as female 0%
I never went out as a woman yet...I am quite sure I won't pass, so I only want to go out when I am more ready. I am hoping to do my first attempt at a crossdresser party next saturday :)
Hormone changes 20-30%?
My skin is softer and translucent. I have considerable breast growth and fat redistribution. My face is looking more feminine...still, I see a lot more to change. I don't know what to expect, but I am approaching the 6 month mark and so far I am quite happy because I am looking totally different from what I was before. With a wig and make-up I can, perhaps, pass a bit.
Hair 30%
I don't cut my hair since January 2013, but my MPB is really in the way. Overall my hair is longer and should have a feminine appearance if it wasn't for my hairline...but HRT is making my hair come back...slowly, but it is returning :)
Wardrobe replacement 20%
I have a few pairs of underclothes and just one pair of female boots...and I know this is a very unhappy and inapropriate occasion to do it...but as my mother passed away, I took a lot of her clothes for me...mostly are my size...I feel bad because it looks like I am being insensible, but at the same time I feel happy because I'll always have something that was her with me.
Future employment prospects 5%
I am unemployed and finishing graduation.
Will I be able to get a job after my transition? I doubt it...perhaps, but it will be hard...
But perhaps i can live with alternative means of earning money, like robbing or selling my body (KIDDING).
I plan to open a personal business...just don't know what it will be.
Quote from: Joan on March 17, 2014, 08:17:29 AM
The percentage is how far I feel I am to completion.
Self-acceptance 90%
I would love some BA and consider a voice and FFS work, though only BA is a real consideration.
Coming out 100%
Everyone was notified prior to my name change
Hair removal 65%
I have completed laser on my face chest and arm pits. surgery prep is complete. Getting electrolysis on face and other misc areas when it's clear.
Voice training 60%
I need work, others tell me I'm fine.
Socialisation as female 60%
Maybe it's cliche, but I grew up primarily with female influences. I tend to get along with women, and pass freely.
Hormone changes 80%
I personally know enough post ops long term and otherwise to know most of what will happen, already has.
Hair 70%
39 months growth another 24 will maximize is.
Wardrobe replacement 100%
I tossed my old ward robe and have a satisfactory selection for now.
Future employment prospects 100% ?
I am highly licensed and competent in my profession. I can qualify as a premium hire, or a even a diversity hire depending on an employers needs in an industry.
Self-acceptance 100%
I think I fully accepted myself early on, but especially so as voice was getting near 100%.
Coming out 100%
Happily out to everyone. I came out early on and my friends are part of a large social scene so everyone found out pretty much immediately. Parents and whole family all 100% no losses :)
Hair removal 90%
Still a few hairs close to my nose on my upper lip, but I no longer need to wear cover makeup. I only just recently got to that point... My starting point here should be at a -100% though, haha.
Voice training 100%
I practiced my butt off to find my female voice, but still couldn't use it around people (some kinda stage fright thing). I then had voice surgery and it completely changed my life. Everything kind of fell into place shortly after.
Socialisation as female 100%
This happened early on, and was perhaps one of the most exciting things I've ever experienced!
Hormone changes 80%
I've been on a high dose of pellet HRT, which (according to my endo) I should already be about done feminizing now after 1.5yrs.. But I still think I have a little in me after SRS ;)
Hair 100%
This finished early on, too, because I was lucky enough to not listen to those who told me to cut my hair (my ex & my mom haha) as a guy. Within 3 or so months it was almost shoulder length, and by 8 months it was touching my upper back. Male pattern baldness runs rampant in my family... so I was very lucky to stop that process in its tracks when I did.
Wardrobe replacement 100%
Lots of girlfriends that love bargain shopping = lots of shopping. I have trailed off on the shopping levels quite a bit over the past 4 or 5 months, but I'm feeling the burn bigtime at the moment!
Future employment prospects 100%
I am a freelance graphics animator living in the one place on the planet that has such a high density of motion graphics studios, so my job was already going very well before transition. Ever since transitioning, though, my opportunities have grown, and I feel that my career is in a better place than it's ever been. Apparently companies like a girl who knows how to program & animate? Also I haven't received an email from a client asking for my old name in about a year. Somehow all the companies I've worked for in the past kind of figured it out. I guess having a portfolio website redirect with my new name on it could have had some effect ;)
Self-acceptance 70%
Like Teela, it's not going to be there at the full 100% until SRS. That thing is that gross, foreign, and not okay on me. Won't date, or anything simply because of it. There are not strong enough words for how much I despise, which to dispose it. My heart aches heavily, frequently, multiple times a day that down there is wrong, hurts, isn't right, and needs to be a vagina soon. Not sure how much longer my mind can wait; hopefully fixable early summer 2015, though age 23 sounds too old for that, eek.
Coming out 100%
Everyone knows, and everyone is super, super accepting. Sounds exaggerated, but it's true, and I find myself extremely fortunate, in that regard. I can't think of any one individual I know who isn't, either in my family, at my university (though the vast majority of them just see me as female), or just general pubic.
Hair removal 90% or 0%, depending
A few hairs to the left of my chin still, but that's it. However, I haven't done laser or electro at all, because of costs, but seemingly I started hormones early enough, or how my body responded to them, that I really don't need much more than maybe one electro session. So, it's quite the odd flux of sorts.
Voice training 90%
Not the best, but I'm seen as female upwards of 95% of the time, but again, I couldn't have done voice exercises more than 10 times, in total. Hormones, contrary to everything I know about them, more than doubled my standard voice pitch from 85 Hz to like 205 Hz. I can get it up to like 300 some, according to a post I made early June of last year (and thanks to Jenny's analysis).
Socialisation as female 100%
Awesome sauce! If only I got to do it more, my time is limited with caring for my siblings in a difficult point in my family's life. That said, get me and another girl together, we can laugh, talk about anything, just have a good time. It's like some kind of indescribable connect.
Hormone changes 65%
16 months HRT, on a highish dose of sublingual E. That said, I think there's a bit more to happen, not only after SRS, but because I had really low E for like 4 or 5 months through all this. Not to mention, my face resembles more that of an 18 year old, so there's still the adult look still to be settled in me yet, which is pretty significant in its own right, HRT or not.
Hair 80%
Only this high because I really don't need it long, in order to blend in as another woman. Mine just doesn't grow long, and I can't seem to get it to touch my shoulders, and it's only halfway down my neck as is, though I'm growing it out, as I have been the last 4 years. Kind of like my mom in that sense! Though I blame it being wavy and thick, which means it takes forever, ugh. Makes me sad, too, because this is one of the things I looked forward to most, and it looks like it'll never happen.
Wardrobe replacement 100%
So many pretty clothes now! The worst part is trying to pick out what to wear, there's just so much pretty stuff in this closet of mine! From shoes, to bottoms, to tops, to skirts. Not to mention the shopping, is SO much more fun. I used to shop for my mother growing up, but holy wow, nobody told me it was this fun! Not to mention the exercise I get.
Future employment prospects 83%
Variable, based off what I think unemployment rate would be. Could easily be higher or lower, though it helps I'm female, if only in the case to show they hired me as a woman, for minority outreach reasons, within the firm. Sad but true world, eh? I'm currently an undergrad senior with a double major in finance and French, going to do grad school hopefully starting next spring, in marketing. Got a good brain between these ears, lots of creativity and smarts. I actually think I'll do really well for myself, based on what lots of folks tell me, but the time for that isn't now, though it should be soon.
Self-acceptance 75%
I've made steps but I haven't really fully accepted it.
Coming out 2%
A few online friends I've know for awhile know, that is all.....
Hair removal 15%
I shave my legs, arms and chest that counts right?
Voice training 85%
Been practicing for a few years now, but I don't think its perfect always room for improvement!
Socialization as female 2%
Few places online see me as female.....
Hormone changes 0%
:'(
Hair 5%
Dunno about this one, I have a receding hairline - and it hasn't grown out.
Wardrobe replacement 0%
=/
Future employment prospects ??
Not sure here!
Yeah I got a lot of work still to do..
I'm 5 months into transitioning (over 3 on HRT) and it's going a lot smoother and faster than I had ever imagine. I'm 6-9 months ahead of when I thought I would go full time, but here I am. Financially it's been a little rough, but we've made it through and things are getting better there. So here is my percentages:
Self-acceptance 100%
I've not only accepted it, I've full embraced it and I love who I am and would not change that. (Of course I wish I have been born in a female body, but I still feel lucky to be me.)
Coming out 100%
Everyone knows. I'm out of Facebook and with clients and all my family. 98% approval rating, LOL. The only person that disappointed me, was my father (who my mother divorces when I was 12.)
Hair removal 70%
I've had laser and maybe have one more session left of the face. Electrolysis on the face will continue for some time, but 98% of the facial hair left is white. I still have some body hair, but it's not bad. My back hair is nearly gone and I only have some chest and stomach hair that I have to shave about twice a week, but it's getting lest and less.
Voice training 65%
I've been practicing an using it everyday. For the most part it's androgynous and on the phone, I usually gender male, but sometimes female. In person, it hasn't been an issue as I use lots of hand gestures and with me being 6'7", one might expect a woman of that height with a more androgynous voice.
Socialization as female 100%
Easy one for me as I've always identified more to females than males. In the lesbian community prior to coming out trans I was always considered a lesbian trapped in a male body or an honorary lesbian, LOL. Also I have more female friends (all orientations) than males. That's just the ways it's been my entire life.
Hormone changes 70%
Lot's of changes very quickly. Face is feminine, body shape is (and was somewhat even before HRT.) Only a A-cup but they are still growing. Soft skin and emotional changes are 100% female now.
Hair 75%
It's grown out past my shoulders. My temples are filling in and the once thin top hair is filling in nicely. Started Finasteride in September 2013 and that helped a lot along with HRT.
Wardrobe replacement 20%
Bras and undergarment wise I'm good. Need more tops, pants and shoes. My wardrobe is starting to expand but has a ways to go. My height makes it difficult and I still have some male clothes. I'm keeping a few items (like black pants for business casual the work fine with a feminine top, no one can tell.) With a 36" inseam, if I can reuse something that fits and my feminine butt makes them look feminine, why not use it.
Future employment prospects 90% (nothing is 100% here no matter what gender I present)
I'm self employed and all my clients know and have been accepting. As long as I get the job done, that is all they care about. They even insist I use the women's room. (A very good thing when many of them are trucking companies.)
I've just started the process of name change and I'll get the marker change done the same time as the name change. Need a form filled out by my therapists for DMV and the rest (SS and Passport), I'll need a letter from my doctor.
FP
Come on inside! :D
I kind of know what you mean about the socialisation. I've always managed to hide myself a bit behind a mannish facade but I was always peeking out from behind it. Joan's getting more courage to show herself every day though ;)
Natalia
I'm really sorry to hear about your mother. May she rest in peace.
If we keep moving towards our goal and we will reach it in the end. And the new wig really suits you btw :)
Missy~rmdlm
This is good solid progress!
JennyGirl
I guess the voice is the only thing that could ever give you away! I'm still not giving up, but I can fly to Seoul in under two hours so I may end up following you to Yeson at some point in the future.
GorJess
You're pretty much there! Good luck with the job hunting when the time comes :)
Aina
I guess if you know where you are and you know where you want to get to then you can plan a route from one to other. That's what I'm telling myself :)
Sydney_NYC
I'm glad to hear that it's proving easier than you'd expected. I love what you said about self-acceptance. I'm not quite there yet, but I hope some day I can be :)
I'm going to check in here now and then when I feel some progress on something. It will give me something to keep track of my progress as the months pass.
Yesterday we went out to a mall, and I felt comfortable even in that kind of busy place. I think I was getting clocked some of the time, but it doesn't bother me that much now.
Anyway, the progress was on voice, and that makes me really happy because I was getting close to giving up. Talking to shop assistants, to waiters and who knows what else, I finally found I was able to relax enough to find the voice I can sometimes find at home when I'm practicing. That voice is not too bad, and it didn't sound ridiculous so I'm viewing that as a step forward :)
Congratulations on your progress, Joan :D
Voice is definitely a big one. When you get it right it is probably the best feeling ever!
Quote from: Jennygirl on March 24, 2014, 04:50:04 AM
Congratulations on your progress, Joan :D
Voice is definitely a big one. When you get it right it is probably the best feeling ever!
Thank you! You may well be right on that one :D
Coming out 5% →15%
Or something like that :)
Over the last two weekends I've come out to two friends, both of whom I've known for 20 years, both female, and both of whom said 'it doesn't really seem strange'.
The second was last night, and I was there as Joan when she arrived. This probably wasn't very fair of me, but after a few minutes it was almost like things had never been any different. My SO and these two friends and I sat and talked over a four hour dinner in a restaurant, followed by two hours of karoake and I had so much fun. They accept me as another woman and I feel so happy at that.
And I'm feeling ever more comfortable with myself with each of these little milestones ^-^
I am post-op and had my SRS done after 3 years of hrt..
Self-acceptance 100%
I think I fully accepted myself early on and I proud to be female.
Coming out 80%
I am out to all the people that need to know and this one will sadly never be 100%. At first my parents did not accept it, but after my father passed away without accepting his daugther, my mother came around. She now loves spending time with her daugther and we love during mother and daughter things together.
Hair removal 100%
All the hair on my face and chest was removed.. I keep my arms shaved along with my pits, legs and pubic regions.
Voice training 100%
I practiced hard to make my female voice sound right.
Socialisation as female 100%
I am one of the girls, and everyone I know accepts me as one.. I am very girly and love shopping, makeup, shoes etc. My roommate says she cant believe how much of a girl I am. Going for a day of pampering with girls is a favourite pastime for me. Even just painting my nails with my roomate is special girl time.
Hormone changes 100%
I am very happy with the changes hormones have given me.. I have soft feminine looking skin, Lovely D cup breasts. My body style is typical of the woman in my family. We all have curvy hips and bigger backside and my with my hips I have being told I rock a pair of jeans. My figure is very noticable when I wear a dress. When I reconciled with my mother, she could not believe how similar my body was to hers.
Hair 100%
When I started HRT I grew my hair out.. I took about 2 years to reach halfway down my back. I have since cut it and now keep my hair around shoulder length. I am a burnette, but like a tinge of red in my hair which is dyned in.. I playing with the idea of going blonde this summer.. they say blondes have all the fun.
Wardrobe replacement 100%
I only wear girls clothes, I have a large collection of clothes. I love wearing dresses or skirts and have a lot of them. Shoes.. I have at least 50 pairs of shoes, mostly heels.. I love shopping and me and my roommate can shop for hours..
Future employment prospects 100%
My roommate and I own a business together, so a job is a done deal..
Terrible. I've always tried to live full time as a normal woman. I'm passable, feel normal dressed, nice voice, etc........ However I guess I just thought that one day surely my facial hair/beard would just stop growing. It has not & what a mess!!!!
I had 6-7 electrolysis treatments, it helped some but it just hurt so bad I hated that needle. I spent more time talking with the lady tham having her zap my hair. Now I'm stuck again. If not for facial hair I could live normal so easy.
How can I ever get rid of this hair???? I know go back, it takes a long time, be patient, .......damn.
I plan to have a face lift & neck lift soon. I'm in mid 50's & my face is OK but it needs a lift. This will help my apppearance however I'll never be normal with a stupid ugly beard.
So anyway I rate mine as terrible. I could just cry.
Appointment Saturday morning with my electrolysis lady to let her zap away more. There are no majic pills so each hair has to go!
While these numbers are a bit low, do not mistake that for dispair. Things are improving every single day. Ask in a week, my numbers would be higher. In a month, higher still. In a year? Watch out.
Self acceptance 66%
I did not think self acceptance would be such a hurdle. In many ways it is harder than coming out. As I peal the layers of masculinity away I discover new ones. I really was transphobic I guess, since I tortured myself for 37 years.
Coming Out 50%
I am out to those closest to me and many old as well as new friends. Others do not yet know. At this point it has more to do with wishing to tell people personally rather than having them find out through the grapevine. The news is starting to go viral though.
Hair Removal 0%
I am on a budget. If you can start early, do start early.
Voice Training 20%
Not working too hard on this. I keep telling myself I will.
Socialization as Female 66%
Women in particular have taken me under their collective wings. I am expected to be Tori outside the home like it or not. I like it.
Hormone Changes 30-50%
I do not really know at this point. I have bouncy boobs. Vivid emotions. Soft skin... etc. A long way to go still and I have no idea how far that will prove to be.
Hair 50%
I need a hat or a wig for now at least. May get surgery eventually. There is a surprising amount of regrowth, but will it be enough? That remains to be seen.
Wardrobe Replacement 33%
Lots of work. Lots of money. Lots of fun.
Future Employment Prospects
I need a job. I will get one. No idea how to give that a percentage.
I came out to another friend, and the first guy I've come out to. He's a good guy, liberal and open-minded, and he was really cool about it, although it seemed pretty obvious that he couldn't understand the idea at all. He wasn't judgemental or nasty in any way, it was just completely off his radar. Anyway, I deem that another 5% up :D
I also actually initiated conversation with a shop assistant while I was out last weekend, so I must be gaining some confidence in my voice too. +5%?? :)
My SO is going to Australia for 10 months from Sunday, so we're about to find out just how strong I can be through this transition.
Well, here goes...
Self Acceptance: 70 %
I've accepted that I'm trans and that I need to do something about it, but I still feel myself hitting the brakes ever so often and doubting myself intensely. I often stop myself from doing things I want. It's been better this year though, by far.
Coming Out: 50 %
All of my close friends and family know, and some of my extended family and coworkers know as well. It's not something I bring up a whole lot, and it seems most people haven't even suspected anything going on. Especially so since I still present as male (as painful as it is) and can't pass.
Voice Training: 40 %
I've been practicing a little here and there for the last six months or so. I can hit the high notes, and sustain them somewhat, but I fail at resonance. Some people think my voice is alright - others cringe, myself included. I don't use it all that much yet because of that...
Socialization as Female: 5 %
Not full or even part-time yet, so there's little socialization to speak of...
Hair Removal: 2 %
I've been to a combined total of 2 hours of electrolysis, which is basically nothing so far. I also tried laser for 6 months - no results, probably because of my light hair follicles. I plan to get into elecro again as soon as I get more money.
Hormone Changes: 20 - 40 %???
Hard to say, and honestly I'm a little underwhelmed by the results so far. 8 months in, and my face is unchanged from before (and it was and continues to be quite masculine), but my mood has greatly improved and there's been some breast growth and softer skin.
Hair: 50 %
My hair is long, but still somewhat masculine. I like the length, but not the style.
Wardrobe Replacement: 25 %
Still afraid to go shopping where I want, so it goes slowly. Also, scarsely have the economy for it. But it is fun, when I finally have days with a little courage and money.
Future Employment Prospects: 40 %
As a girl that is. I do fine work where I am right now though, and I have no reason or need to look for anything else at the moment.
So yeah, still have a looong way to go...
Quote from: LittleEmily24 on March 17, 2014, 01:11:16 PM
Reading this actually got me kinda teary eyed... I know exactly how you feel.. every time my friends call me Emily, I smile, but then they instantly destroy it by calling me Him or He... and some friends even remind me that "they'll never see me as female, i'll always be a guy to them." and it destroys me. I even have a friend who wont go into a gay bar, not because hes a homophobe, he has nothing against gays... but he doesn't want to run into other transpeople... and he fails to see how that effects how I feel. Half support is not support.
Uh,-Yea, these people aren't your friends. I'd let them know that and stop hanging out with them. There are alot of much better people out there who'll respect you for who you are. They are disrespecting you and if I were you I'd find new friends. I know it's easier said than done girl, but you've gotta put yourself first. I myself found out who my real friends were when I came out to them 5 years ago. I lost everyone I knew but two people and their families. Since then 3 of my former friends eventually came around but I still keep them at arms length. But, now I have many friends and neighbors who do respect me and always gender me correctly. And quite frankly, if that's you in your Avatar anyone misgendering you would look like an idiot doing so, lol! I think your very pretty, and if I turn out just half as good as you have I'll be very happy.
OK here goes girls. I'm a little nervous about this:
Self Acceptance: 65% I'll need my SRS/GRS, Female Voice Surgery, and a face/necklift and possibly FFS depending on 2 year hrt outcome to fully accept myself. Inside I'm all woman and have been most of my life. Some of these things I'm worried about I may not need after 2 years on hrt. However, until that wretched discusting abhorrid, abomination between my legs is turned into an "innie" I'll never feel completely female.
Coming Out: 100%. Everyone who matters to me knows and are supportive. In fact due to my body shape alot of them suspected so it wasn't a shock to most people I know.
Voice Training: 5%. My throat was damaged in my 1991 aircraft accident and it's near impossible for me to make a female voice without going falsetto. I'll most likely need surgery to overcome this hurdle unless by some small miracle hrt helps it along a bit.
Socialization as Female: 100%. I seem to be accepted as female despite the voice wherever I go, which I think alot of that has to do with my tiny size and female body shape. Others tell me different but I just think their being polite.
Hair Removal: 70%. I'm still fighting the grays on my face. They have been the absolute hardest to get rid of so far. Hrt has pretty much eliminated all of what little body hair I had with the exception of very fine hairs on my legs and arms. Been shaving my legs for now as I only have to do it once per week to keep my legs smooth. As soon as I get more bulbs for my IPL they might just disappear as well. I use my lasers on my face as my IPL is too large for my small face. I may end up going professional for the grays on my face, or, buy myself and electrolysis device and myself with a friends help will go to town, lol!
Hormone Changes: 65%. I was lucky here because I've always had a feminine body shape which my hrt is enhancing nicely. My boobs are really coming in and are nice and feminine in shape. Something I never thought I'd achieve because of my being 49.
Hair: 65% and increasing daily! Here's where my hrt to me anyway has performed a miracle. I had a feminine hair loss issue before starting hrt, which abruptly halted and began reversing 3 days in. Now you cannot see my scalp in those areas unless it's wet, and the new growth, and my overall hair growth in general has been phenominal. It was past the middle of my back, but I had a trim last Tuesday to rid myself of dead ends so now it's at the middle of my back in length. It has really thickened too. I no longer cry myself to sleep at night over losing my hair, and I can hardly wait to see my hair after a year of hrt much less two, lol! This has made me a very very happy girl!
Wardrobe Replacement: 100%. I threw out what little men;s clothes I had over 5 years ago when I went full time. Women's clothes have always fit me better anyway.
.
Future Employment Prospects: 100%. Being disabled I only work part time. I'm over qualified in marine/boat/outboard motor repair, computers and networking, database construction and web building. Right now I'm enjoying working with Outboard Motors big and small. Since I work for myself I make my own hours when I'm physically able.
Because I'm only 3 months, one week, and a few days in on my hrt I plan to wait at least a year before considering any cosmetic facial surgery with the exception of the voice, and face/neck lift. The turkey isn't there yet but I can see I'm losing elasticity in that area. My eyebrows are (to me anyway) too close to my eyes and they are very thin which makes shaping them from underneath nearly impossible. As for my SRS/GRS it is on my Doctor/s timetable/s and according to them it will be 1 & 1/2, to two years from now.
Before closing I feel it necessary to say that many of my friends believe I'm being way too overcritical of my facial flaws and am worried about a whole lot of nothing. However as I said above, I think they're just trying to be polite.
Ally :icon_flower:
Hi Allyda :)
There's no need to be nervous! For me this is a place where I try to keep track of the progress it's so easy to forget that I'm making. It's a long process changing genders :)
Quote from: Joan on April 11, 2014, 09:12:31 PM
Hi Allyda :)
There's no need to be nervous! For me this is a place where I try to keep track of the progress it's so easy to forget that I'm making. It's a long process changing genders :)
Thanks Joan I appreciate it. :icon_flower: One of these days I'll learn to follow my own advice I give to other girls that we are our own worse critics. It just takes time I suppose. Also as I found out in the last few days the changes for the better hrt is giving us is not always noticed by us, but people who haven't seen us in a few months seem to notice those changes immediately. Three people I know well including my pain management Doctor didn't quite recognize me with so much hair, lol! Another good example of this is I posted a few photos of me in my boat fishing on Lake Okeechobee while on vacation on a boating/fishing forum I belong to where people know me but haven't seen me in a while. Well, I was asked: "Is that your girlfriend in the boat?" I've always had long hair but not as much of it as I do now plus I was wearing a cute pink tank top that, well, was a little revealing when it comes to my boobs, lol! And I actually got a few phone calls asking me that question. But I look at those same photos and do not see what their seeing. I wonder if that's part of the dysphoria?
Considering I believe I will be transitioning until I die (many many years from now) the only way I know how to rate how far I have progressed is by saying I have completed 3 days!
I didn't consider my transition 'official' until I had my first therapy session.
I am sure eventually I will have other ways of measuring. But for now a day count works fine for me. Eventually my days transitioning will outnumber my days per transition. That will be a very happy day!
Self-acceptance 100%
Self explanatory I think. I accepted it as soon as I realized what was holding me back. I left my depression lasting fifteen years behind. Never going back.
Coming out 90%
Only one who does not know is my father and judging by my mom and brother's reactions, will likely not know until full changes happen (probably).
Hair removal 10%
I'm being generous with that. The mustache is gone finally. The beardlyness has not been touched yet.
Voice training 0%
Goodness, I keep trying to find a recorder that isn't a box of clart.
Socialization as female ??
This is a thing? I think I may have missed something or am not understanding. Mannerisms? Sure, my friends often see me as fem acting even as a tomboy. I honestly don't pay much attention to this detail much I think. I'm just myself.
Hormone changes 0%
Not on the hormones yet. Maybe/probably come May, that's when I talk to the endo again.
Hair 80%
I have a long, blank, curly canvas at the moment.
Wardrobe replacement 30%
Clothes are expensive and muscle makes it a little harder to shop for. Makeup and polishes are really fun. I'm not out to my father, which presents a problem as well.
Future employment prospects 100%
I'm out at my current job. Future employment involves healthcare, which has seems to be friendly at the place I was looking at.
I think I have some pondering to do. And some catching up hahaha
17 days have passed since my last post and here's the latest progress report.
My SO got on a plane and it was absolutely heartbreaking. I know she's coming back, but 10 months is 10 months and I still cried for a week and some. I'm slowly getting used to it, but life is sure quiet, and very, very lonely.
I have managed to get out some! I came out to another girl friend, and after 5 minutes we were all talking as girls. Fantastic feeling!
Also came out to an old friend I've known for 30 years. He was shocked, but he seems ok with it. At least after all the 'Do you need to go that far with it?', 'Are you really sure?' questions. I think he'll come around.
So Coming out now at 49% or some other such meaningless figure. It's family next, and this still has me scared witless.
Nearly four months on hormones now and I'm getting comments about facial changes, and my breasts are taking on a natural shape.
who know where this part ends
Finally, I ventured out for the first time on my own yesterday. This was very very nerve wracking, and I was too nervous to even come close to passing. After a while I managed to take some deep breaths, relax a bit and enjoy my shopping trip and walk around town. I visited a friend on the way home and we had dinner and talked and laughed, and it ended up being a really good day.
So add 5% to my socialisation or some other random figure.
Self-acceptance 99%
Almost completely there. I still have this tiny lingering doubt that maybe I could have found some way to work things out as a really androgynous male... but then again, why would I want to if I didn't have to? :P
Coming out 100%
All the people who I am really concerned about know that I am transgender now.
Hair removal 5%
Just started laser for the face, but that's pretty much it. And I have enough hair to deal with that this will be a long and painful process...
Voice training 50%
I sound okay most of the time, but things can get pretty shaky when I've been talking too long an my voice is strained. It's also a problem to keep my pitch consistent if I'm in a noisy environment and can't hear myself talk very well. I really want to get VFS, but for now I sound good enough that it's not a huge priority.
Socialization as female 5%
I haven't had nearly enough opportunities to socialize in general, so not much progress here. I seriously don't even know if I would ever be able to fit in with a group of women my own age. I'm actually a pretty shy person in real life, so this area might be a challenge...
Hormone changes 25%
This is more of a best guess. I actually have no idea how far along I really am. I was taking low dose HRT for a long time (over two years), so wasn't sure if I should expect to get many more changes than I already have without resorting to surgery. But my breasts have been feeling a little tender since I started full dose HRT earlier this month, so who knows? ;) I'm going to chose to be optimistic on this one because I still have a lot of room for improvement.
Hair 50%
My hair has grown out pretty nicely, but I still haven't gotten it styled properly since I'm on a very tight budget and I've wanted to use the money for other things. I also want to get a hair transplants some time in the future to help fill in my temples. They're not horrible, and I have had some really good regrowth from using minoxidil, but I still want as close to a normal female hairline as possible.
Wardrobe replacement 5%
I have a few girly things to wear, but it's mostly just stuff I borrow from my brother. Which is okay since his clothes are not exactly super masculine. ;)
Future employment prospects 0%
I need a job pretty badly right now... :( Would anyone here like to hire a web developer with experience in HTML/Javascript/CSS/Ruby? ;)
Self Acceptance: 95%
As an undergrad I learned that reality exists within the 95% confidence interval. After six years of psychotherapy, I know who I am and I am finally feeling like me, in spite of the ugly fact that I still navigate the world as a male.
Coming Out: 5%
My wife is in the loop, other than her and a few trans* folk, only the health care professionals know. I do drop hints though ;)
Hair Removal: 30%
Years of waxing my legs have left them pretty much hairless, I just do light touch ups every few months. I also wax my pits, chest and abdomen, much less these days (thank you Suprefact). I will need some electrolysis there, but not much. My "beard" has depleted somewhat, but I still shave. I will need to undergo electrolysis there too. Pass the Emla, svp.
Voice Training: 0%
I'm thinking Yeson...
Socialization as a Female: 5%
Whenever I sit at tea with my wife and some female friends, I catch myself feeling like "one of the girls". Hard to carry that off as I present as male in public.
Hormone Changes: 40%
At six months HRT, my body hair has decreased and gotten much finer, I'm about an A cup, "dood! those are definitely not moobs!" I have lost some muscle mass, my arms are thinner, there has been some fat redistribution, my skin is much softer, my eyes have opened a bit. So... more eyeballs, less nether balls. I am able to emote more freely, and the long dark cloud that used to hang over me has dissipated. I laugh more. I love more.
Hair 43%
Why 43%, it's such an odd number! Well it fits then, don't it...
I am treating my MPB with minoxidil, it's early days. I'm going to give this a year before I say yea or nay, but I am seeing some peach fuzz manifesting in the blank zones, so I'm hopeful.
Wardrobe Replacement: 5%
Undies only. Still not really out to the world at large (not even Westeros), so all I do is look at what the other girls are wearing and make plans. Unfortunately, I think I'm too old for the "Forever 21" stuff, Lululemon is completely out of the picture :)
Future Employment Prospects: 100%
Gainfully employed at the same place for 25 years, looking forward to retirement. Downside to being 60: wrinkles... upside? Being able to afford wrinkle cream.
I would have to say that much of my progress, all of the above, happened in the last year or so and it has been liberating. Here's to slipping the surly bonds of testosterone (apologies to J.G. Magee).
Quote from: KatelynRain on March 17, 2014, 03:07:46 PM
I agree with Joanna. These are NOT your friends. There are people out there that will love you for who you, are instead of who they want you to be. True friends are 100% accepting and supportive of you. They empower you to help you to do things that you couldn't do by yourself. Sounds like these people are holding you back, and they are not worthy of being called a 'friend'.
You need to cut them off and you will eventually find people who are 100% supportive of you.
Perfectly said .
Well, it's been 19 days since my earlier post and there have been a few changes.
Voice Training: This has improved because it seems without my knowing it my voice has gotten a little higher in pitch to where I now sound sort of in between male and female with my voice being a little scratchy. Don't ask me how this has happened because I've no idea, so this one jumps from 5% to 15%
Hair Removal: Here, what little grays that are left on my face have become much finer. I don't know if this is because they still have darker roots and my laser's are having some effect without my using the carbon dye, or if it's from hrt. Either way I'll take the improvement. In addition, I no longer have to deal with protruding nose hairs -these have vanished. So this one jumps to 80%.
Hormone Changes: A big improvement here as my waist has gotten smaller. I'm now at 26. My boobs are noticeably larger and I'm no longer able to venture out without a bra, YaY! In addition, I'm now in a size 8 woman's narrow shoe down from a size 9. And finally my face has began to fill in so a big change here from 65% to 75% and still going strong.
Hair: My length has grown nearly 3 inches since my last trim, and I'm still experiencing a lot of new growth in my problem areas. It's now past the middle of my back at it's longest, and my bangs are nioticeably thicker. Y'all will soon see a photo girls! So up from 65% to 70%.
Self Acceptance: My voice surgery will be getting done soon hopefully at Yetson, however I'm still undecided. I do have my letter from my Endo and also my letter to have my gender changed on my Driver's license and other documents (I don't have to change my name cause it can be either boy or girl), however, I'm entertaining the idea of switching my first name, Phoenix, with my middle, Allyda to make Allyda my first name. Due to these developments my self acceptance has jumped from 65% to 75%. For it to be 100% though SRS is an absolute must. For I can never accept myself as a whole woman without it.
These are big improvements though in just 19 days, and milestones in my development I'm very proud of. All of the rest on my list; Coming Out, Socialization as Female, Wardrobe Replacement, and Future Employment Prospects, have remained the same at 100%.
Overall for me things just keep getting better and I feel I'm progressing nicely. Now if I could just get one friend of mine to stop calling me "brother", :icon_blah: lol! Even his son says he sounds ridiculous when he does it given how I look.
Ally :icon_flower:
This is an interesting thread. Honestly, I don't have a way of measuring it. All I can say is that the further into my transition I get into it, the farther I feel from obtaining my goal. I don't know why, but I feel like I'm reaching for something that may forever be out of my reach. Perhaps some of it is. It's odd to consider every sense of progress to be a regression, but that's what I'm feeling. I guess it just all seems so surreal to think it will be over and that I find another goal to reach as I move along. That my expectations seem to be building as I move along and it makes me harder to just get through it all.
Quote from: Joanna Dark on March 17, 2014, 02:19:02 PM
The other day I was walking around with him and we ran into this trans woman who did not pass and she wanted change or a doller or something and he made me stop and not give her money because he said it's not my job to save the world, you have surgery to save up for, are they going to help you? Who ever helps you and you look like this helpless little frail female. And he was right. It's not my job to help other trans people or anyone for that matter, cause I'm in rough shape financially. I need surgery,. So that's my story and I'm sticking to it.
Sorry Joanna, of all your posts which I agree with, this one I do not. You are not helping another trans, you are helping another human. If God so loved the World He gave His only Son, you can give change to a person, trans or not. Do I give money to those that stand on a bridge ramp with a sign? yes I do. Not because I ever expect to get anything back, but because it is the loving thing to do. And I am not in any better financial shape than anyone else.
Quote from: Paula Christine on April 29, 2014, 02:31:26 PM
Do I give money to those that stand on a bridge ramp with a sign? yes I do.
Yeah, me too. Just paying it forward, you know?
Self-esteem: 25%
This took a hard blow when I lost my apartment and ended up homeless and has not recovered. The discrimination and harassment I went though at my former employer has also taken a toll.
Social adaption: 100%
I pass easily and so I don't really run into any issues. I'm pretty quiet too so people tend to leave me alone.
Self-acceptance: 100%
I accepted myself a long time ago.
Coming out: 100%
My entire family knows about me. Even the keeper of the family tree, my Dad's cousin, has me written down as my Dad's Daughter. Though this is fairly new to them since they only see me online. this last weekend was the first time my Mum had seen me in a skirt and very feminine top. So I think it hit home that her little boy was now a woman.
Hair removal: 1%
My body is practically hairless. However, I have only had one session of laser hair removal. I want more so bad! lol
Voice training: 100%
I am apparently lucky because I don't need to train my voice. It passes naturally. I dont even have a visible adams apple.
Socialisation as female: 100%
"He's Dead Jim!" Old male me is gone and i dont even go back to pretending to be "him".
Hormone changes: 98-100%
It's been 3 years since I started and I am still seeing little changes every now and then. I want B.A. because I have not seen much growth there, I am barely a B-cup.
Hair: 99%
Someone once told me that they were told not to get a bob cut because they are trans. I have one and it suits me and my needs. I would like a lower hairline though.
Wardrobe replacement: 80%
I still have a few of my old clothes because they actually look cool ^_^
Future employment prospects: 100% for now
I'm currently employed as me. But I need to find something closer to home.
I'm sure trying hard to look nicer & more feminine. Plastic surgery for June 10th, face & neck lift & upper eye lid work. Deposit made, total cost 10K. The surgeon knows I want as feminine a face as possible. He does great work on women's faces. My electro lady is going at my facial hairs each week with a vengence. Saturday is my next visit, she goes strong for 2-3 hours.
More & more friends, I feel more & more normal.
Maybe a 7 or 8 on a scale of 10.
Quote from: Rainbow Brite on April 29, 2014, 03:44:37 PM
Self-esteem: 25%
This took a hard blow when I lost my apartment and ended up homeless and has not recovered. The discrimination and harassment I went though at my former employer has also taken a toll.
Social adaption: 100%
I pass easily and so I don't really run into any issues. I'm pretty quiet too so people tend to leave me alone.
Self-acceptance: 100%
I accepted myself a long time ago.
Coming out: 100%
My entire family knows about me. Even the keeper of the family tree, my Dad's cousin, has me written down as my Dad's Daughter. Though this is fairly new to them since they only see me online. this last weekend was the first time my Mum had seen me in a skirt and very feminine top. So I think it hit home that her little boy was now a woman.
Hair removal: 1%
My body is practically hairless. However, I have only had one session of laser hair removal. I want more so bad! lol
Voice training: 100%
I am apparently lucky because I don't need to train my voice. It passes naturally. I dont even have a visible adams apple.
Socialisation as female: 100%
"He's Dead Jim!" Old male me is gone and i dont even go back to pretending to be "him".
Hormone changes: 98-100%
It's been 3 years since I started and I am still seeing little changes every now and then. I want B.A. because I have not seen much growth there, I am barely a B-cup.
Hair: 99%
Someone once told me that they were told not to get a bob cut because they are trans. I have one and it suits me and my needs. I would like a lower hairline though.
Wardrobe replacement: 80%
I still have a few of my old clothes because they actually look cool ^_^
Future employment prospects: 100% for now
I'm currently employed as me. But I need to find something closer to home.
You look great GF. Good for you.
Quote from: EllieM on April 29, 2014, 03:01:35 PM
Yeah, me too. Just paying it forward, you know?
I confess I too do the same thing. Whatever extra chump change I've leftover in my purse. :icon_flower: I feel in the end Karma will return my generosity. I also enjoy just helping people, and like many here my financial status is not the greatest.
Interesting initiative with some very thought provoking questions...and answers
Self-acceptance 100%
As a late transitioner, it took me years to get to this point but today I'd have to say 100%. Going full time removed any lingering doubts as end of the day, that's the only way to really know that you are what you think you are.
Coming out 100%
Everyone who knows me, including, thanks to FB , many people I haven't actually met in years. Some problems with my siblings but otherwise no signficant losses and a lot of very touching support.
Hair removal 98%
Zero body hair just from HRT but still a few stragglers on my face easily removed with a tweezers. Facial hair removal was 100% electrolysis but 50 hours was enough to do the job. I wasn't too hairly to begin with and already had almost 3 years HRT behind me when I started which may have helped.
Voice training 50%
My natural voice was quite high (I sing tenor), but I've had no proper voice training so I'm still shaky here and will try to do something about it as it is really the only remaining area where I don't feel completely OK, especially on the phone.
Socialization as female 100%
Really very comfortable and I seem to be well accepted by the women I mix with, friends obviously but also my female colleagues at work with whom I socialize more and more, little chats during a coffee break, all female lunches.... I really love this and feel far more comfortable with the girls than I ever did with the guys.
Hormone changes 95% ?
Maybe more to come after GRS scheduled this August but after almost 6 years the last 4 of which have been uninterrupted, I guess I'm close to maximum bang for buck. Most obvious effects: hair loss on body, size A+ breasts, much smoother skin, some fat redistibution with loss around the waist and gains to buttocks and Inside of thighs, muscle loss in arms and shoulders. Last but not least, horribly brittle nails.... >:(
Hair 90%
I had to do extensive hair implants, Dec 2012. Happily it worked really well but the transplanted hairs are still a little shorter than the others. However I have progressed enough to no longer ever need a wig and I was officially transferred to the ladies customer listing by my local hairdresser a few months ago. This mostly meant an increase in what I am charged but no complaints, they are really very nice with me with no misgendering since I explained my situation. On the contrary, it was more like "Ooooh..., that explains it! " :)
.
Wardrobe replacement 100%
All my male kit is either gone or put aside for my son who is presently in NY. I now have a wardrobe which seems to make my wife a little jealous at times. However, as I am a lot taller than she is, she can borrow a lot of my stuff while I can only borrow her accessories... ;)
Future employment prospects 75 %
I am 56, amost 57, and was recently told that my present fixed term contract, which was supposed to be transformed into an open ended contract at its term, will not be renewed. This means I will be out of work end July. However there is a reasonable chance that I will continue to get work from my present employers as an external consultant and I have an alternative business project which I am pretty confident about. Short term, this enforced break provides an opening to do my GRS so all is not gloom and doom. I'm a survivor and I know I'll find a solution to this setback.
[/quote]
Going through these questions helps me realize just how far I have come as up until summer 2012 when I finished my FFS surgery, I really hadn't a clue if I would be able to see my transition through to the end. Today, apart from a very unwelcome body part which serves as a reminder that all is not quite finished, I feel more comfortable living as a woman than I ever imagined.
Hugs to all the fellow travellers!
Donna
Donna you are an inspiration. You look awesome too for 56. At 49 I'm slightly younger but will be a few years older when I have my GRS, and seeing how great you look gives me much hope for my future.
Best of luck with your future endeavors and GRS.
Ally :icon_flower:
Quote from: Allyda on April 30, 2014, 07:43:40 PM
Donna you are an inspiration. You look awesome too for 56. At 49 I'm slightly younger but will be a few years older when I have my GRS, and seeing how great you look gives me much hope for my future.
Best of luck with your future endeavors and GRS.
Ally :icon_flower:
Thanks Allyda. My FFS surgeon did a little miracle on my face which was a real show stopper prior to surgery. It sounds like you are coming along very nicely too and I really love the "can do" attitude that comes through in your writing. It seems like you have had more than your share of difficulties, have learned to cope with them and move forward. I find that very inspiring too...
"Bonne continuation et bon courage !" as they say over her.
Hugs
Donna
Thanks Donna for those sweet words of inspiration. Yes, you could say I've been rode hard and put away wet, lol! :icon_censored: But these days I'm all about living for my future. Dwelling on a hurtful past only brings more hurt. And, if I let it it'd consume me so, since I feel 30 years younger thanks to hrt, I'm trying to act 30 years younger too. Maybe I'll squeeze back the clock a little! :eusa_dance:
Hugs to you too :icon_hug: :icon_hug: :icon_hug:
Ally :icon_flower:
Past four months into HRT now, and I've been feeling like things aren't moving forward much, so I thought it might be time to return to this and see how I'm really doing. I get a lot of comments about how I've changed, and my face really is starting to approach an in-between stage where I'm neither one thing nor the other. I was talking to a woman in the library yesterday about summer fashions, and she was saying that it's easier for us women in many ways before she caught herself and said 'I'm talking to you as though you're a woman too'. This was quite a good moment :)
Anyway, let's see how far things have progressed in the two months since my original post...
Self-acceptance 90% → no change
There are still wt* moments! but I'm very happy with HRT and looking forward to life on the other side of transition. I've let myself out now pretty much all the time, and students have stopped calling me handsome (in their misguided opinions they used to do that) and started calling me cute. I wish I could show the world more my true self, but that will have to wait.
Coming out k5% → 30%
Since telling my SO, I've told my 6 closest friends including two I've known for over 30 years. The women take it completely in the stride, the men are perplexed but on the whole supportive. It could have been much worse. I have flights booked to go back home in September to tell my family. That is going to be a much harder task.
Hair removal 30% → 40%
For the facial hair it's time to give up on the Tria and seek professional help. It got thinner for a while, but now it seems to be coming back, and the shadow is the thing that most gets in the way of my passing.
Voice training 5% → 75%
I don't really know how it it happened, but I found my female voice. One day it just clicked, and in my limited social interactions in shops and restaurants it rarely gets me clocked anymore. This really makes life much easier. It generally holds up in longer conversations too, though I do need to build more stamina.
Socialisation as female 20% → ?
I'm not even sure what this means anymore. I still get out a couple of times a week, for whole days when work commitments allow, and despite a meltdown when out a couple of weeks ago, it is getting easier and I'm beginning to relax.
My SO and my cis girlfriends treat me as a woman. Guys now push in front of me in queues as if it's their right and I share that look with other women around.
Hormone changes who knows?
I'm now at 21 weeks of IM estradiol and cycling progesterone. Without losing much weight my band size is down 5cm and my breasts have gained 12cm and they are now unmistakably breasts. My waist is down 5cm but my hips have got rounder although their size hasn't changed at all.
My sunken cheeks have filled out a bit and the wrinkles under and around my eyes have repaired themselves a bit.
I'm pretty happy with this progress.
Hair 20% → 30%
My hair is now long enough to just about make a pony tail. I still don't have enough hair for a decent fringe. Hair has grown back at the receding corners, and is slowly advancing from there as the peach fuzz slowly thickens up and begins to grow. It's going to take a long time for those new hairs to catch up with the rest, which means wigs for a good while yet, and still possibly for ever.
Wardrobe replacement 50% → 70%
Winter is covered, so I'm getting stuff together for summer now. The summer wardrobe is hard. You have to show a lot more of the body and I'm still trying to work out what doesn't emphasise my rather robust shoulders.
Future employment prospects 10%
I want to carry on doing what I do (teach) at a different place in a different city. I hope someone will hire a rather large middle aged woman to do so. I won't know if it's going to work until I give it a try, and that won't be until I go full time, which according to my plan is spring 2016.
I don't intend to transition on the job, and this is one of my biggest worries.
So still much to do, but the voice is something to be happy about at least :)
Congratulations! It really sounds to me Joan like your making good progress. The voice is a big one, especially if you've stopped getting Sired over the phone. I can't put into words how much it hurts me knowing I pass everywhere I go despite my voice, but still get Sirred over the phone. I'm getting to the point of ignoring phone calls, and avoiding speaking whenever possible in public even though in public my voice doesn't seem to affect my ability to pass. So if you've mastered your female voice you've crossed a huge hurdle. I'm at 4 months, 3 weeks, and 5 days into my hrt and still can't find mine.
I should probably update my progress too.
Ally :icon_flower:
Self-esteem: 95% I have every reason to feel good about myself and lucky. I'm complemented in a variety of ways and loved very consistently. I wish my nose was different and other things, but not to the point where it drops my self-esteem too much. Some days are worse than others but overall, I'm very confident. If I'm wearing a light amount of concealer, whether I pass or not does not even cross my mind. I just assume I do. I've even gone into a transgender support meeting and people were shocked when I told them I'm transsexual.
Social adaption: 100% Nobody questions if I'm female or male. Nobody finds me weird, either. The family I've always cared about accept me 100% and have no problem going out in public with me.
Self-acceptance: 30% TRIGGER WARNING I hate being transsexual. It absolutely sucks. I don't really ever show it, but it hurts. SRS would help but it's not going to be a cure all to the situation. I can see myself committing suicide when my mother and cat are gone. I've missed a lot in life by living as a male for so long, and nobody can deny that there's much less self-hatred if you do not have to analyze core, genetic traits so crucial as gender.
Coming out: 100% The only coming out I do is telling people I'm transgender (as in, I USED to be male...), which is pretty rare.
Hair removal: 60% Laser has gotten everything down to manageable / hide-able levels, but quite a bit remains.
Voice training: 100% On my first attempt, I pulled into a drive-thru one day and tried out my female voice. I was ma'amed, and when I pulled up to the window the worker was obviously embarrassed. No training was really required on my part. I worked for 8 months in a busy call center (roughly 100 calls a day per person) and nobody ever misgendered me. I even struck up a few women only conversations while on the phone (I worked in the medical industry).
Socialisation as female: 100% How is this any different from social adaption? Maybe mannerism passability? IDK... If so, people who knew me before tell me it's crazy how much I come off as a girl now, especially considering I was pretty masculine in everything I did before.
Hormone changes: ??? Who knows. I'm still changing. My face and boobs are still filling out after nearly 3 years. No telling when that stops. I'm sure it's a number higher than 70%
Hair: 100% My hair is 3/4+ the way down my back. Even the small recessions in the corners have pretty much come back (not all the way, but enough not to care about).
Wardrobe replacement: 95% I have no male clothes and a bunch of female clothes, but I still need shoes. get tired of wearing the same flip flops and alternating between the same 2 pairs of sneakers.
Future employment prospects: 40% Not as much from passability, but more from disability. It's starting to look like I have a progressive neurological disorder (possibly a vascular malformation in my brain) that's impairing my cognitive and motor abilities. If I could stand for long periods of time and not drop stuff, I wouldn't have any problems being a shot girl or bartender, or finishing school and being a stylist. Plus, transitioning near 30 after working a type of job for 10 years that I do not want to go back to as a girl doesn't help either.
Well, I'm now 4 months, 3 weeks, and 5 days in (my ticker's off by two days) on my hrt, and there have been a few changes since my last progress post. So here's my update:
Self Acceptance: 70%. I've accepted myself a little more due to some positive changes during the last month or so, however, I'll still need my SRS, and Female Voice Surgery, and still some FFS depending on 2 year hrt outcome to fully accept myself completely. I just won't feel whole until that wretched discusting abhorrid, mistake of an abomination between my legs is turned into an "innie."
Coming Out: 100%. Here there hasn't been much change as everyone who matters to me knows. However, it should be noted I have lost a few more friends -all males, who just can't understand why I need to transform. The way I see it, they weren't really my friends in the first place.
Voice Training: 20%. This one jumps from 5% to 20% because, and I've no clue how it happened, I actually found a semblance of a female voice while with a friend in Family Dollar. In order to cultivate this new development it will take a lot of work due to my previous damage to my throat. Until I have my voice surgery though I have to try. My Endo has stated He'll give me a referral for the surgery as soon as I find a Doctor that does VFS, so now my surgery's just a matter of many phone calls to find the right surgeon.
Socialization as Female: 100%. No change here as I've no problem passing wherever I go.
Hair Removal: 70%. No change here yet. Between work and helping my SO move I haven't had time to give myself any treatments. I'm still fighting the grays on my face, and probably will be for some time yet. I am looking into an epilator and an electrolysis device to assist me with this battle
Hormone Changes: 80%. Here I have a 15% increase because my waist is down an inch from 28 to 27", and even more important my brow ridge has shrunk which actually lifted my eyebrows up a little. I still have 10 pounds to lose, which should put me waist wise where I want to be. Also my sunken cheeks have begun to fill in, plus, my boobies are now large enough to where I need to wear a bra out in public.
Hair: 75% and increasing daily! Here my hrt continues it's miracle as my problem areas continue to fill in. My hair is also growing like weeds. It's now to the middle of my back longer than it was when I had my trim just two months ago.
Wardrobe Replacement: 100%. No change here with the exception of I've gained a few more cute outfits. I'm also looking into getting more summer dresses as I love those, and of course more shoes, which I never get tired of shopping for.
Future Employment Prospects: 75%. Here I've actually had a change for the worse as it's dropped 25%. Since I work for myself on boats and outboard motors, I find that there's a lot of people that would rather have a guy work on their boat than a girl. So unfortunately, I've actually lost some work because I'm a woman. I still get a few jobs though here and there, but I do notice a drop off in the amount of work and calls I get.
So in summary: Overall I continue to be pleased with the changes for the better my hrt has made and continues to make to my body. I'm especially relieved I'm finally seeing changes to my face, as this is an area of me I'm in general not very happy with. My Endo said he would increase my E dosage upon my next visit the first week in July, and, that he may switch me over to the injections, and is also looking into the pellets for me. He feels that I will have better results with the injections over the oral E I'm currently taking. However what form of E I end up taking upon my next Endo visit may depend on which one my insurance covers.
Ally :icon_flower:
So here I am at 7 months HRT, and I'm not quite sure what to think. I'm still part time, but i do get out quite a bit at the weekends.
I feel like I've been treading water for the last two months. Subtle changes, yes. Long looks from people I haven't seen for while, yes. Loss of muscle mass and fat gain on the hips, some. Male fail, dream on.
I worry about how much HRT is going to do for me and whether it will be enough to satisfy me. My body and my face have definitely become less masculine as the weeks pass, but paradoxically I seem to pass less than I did at 4 months and to be honest this is kind of giving me the jitters. It's like I knew I couldn't pass without hormones, but now I've got them the stakes seem sort of higher. That said, there is no way back and I'm doing what I can to keep things moving.
So anyway, here's where I am just now (numbers are at 10 weeks, 4 months and 7 months HRT).
Self-acceptance 90%→90% →90%
There is still a deep-rooted shame at being this way, but for the most part I've accepted what I am.
Coming out 5% → 30%→50%
I came out to my brother and sister and they've been positive and accepting if a bit puzzled. Neither saw it coming, and my brother has come back with a few emails looking for the 'causes' in our shared childhood experience. I'm giving him the explanations that it is not, as I think he deserves in his effort to make the adjustment.
In two weeks I go home to tell my mom. This is the biggie. I'm confident that I won't be disowned, but I'm sure she'll struggle to understand. Kelpie Maloney plastered all over the TV and newspapers will have given her something on which to form an opinion. Let's hope it's not a negative one.
Hair removal 30% → 40%→60%
I bit the bullet and gave up the Tria on my face for professional laser. The effects are immediate, and the islands of dark skin that no concealer could ever hide are gone after two sessions. I wish I had started earlier: How many times have I read that from others? But I guess when you're initially out but still tied up with closeted feelings the home hair removal route is an appealing one, and I guess it's just another station on the road to greater self acceptance.
Electrolysis for the white hairs is in my future.
Voice training 15% → 75%→75%
This is still working, and my intonation is improving too. Even in male mode my voice has got softer. It lasts a whole evening talking over dinner and drinks too.
Socialisation as a female? →? →?
I'm getting the hang of things that cis women do without thinking, and I don't think anything that I do or say is jarringly wrong. Women smile, and men look at my tits and then have no interest beyond that, and though I'm not interested in men anyway it's still kind of disappointing to be so unattractive lol. Other than that I don't really know. The only women I ever really talk to are my friends who obviously know that I'm transgendered and treat me as a woman. I'd love to meet and talk with people who don't know my past and see how I relate to them. I hope that begins to happen as I need that kind of feedback.
Hormone changes ? →? →?
As I mentioned above, my face changed. My square jaw has got thinner and my cheeks have taken on fat. Without losing any weight my bust is bigger, my band is smaller, my waist is narrower and my arms and neck thinner. At seven months these aren't bad changes, but 'how slow they are, how much time they waste refusing to make haste' lol.
I'm white and 6'2" and I live in Asia. In guy mode I stand out like a sore thumb and people stare a lot. As a woman I stand out even more, even in jeans and a t-shirt, and people stare and stare. I find this quite unnerving, and of course I come to the conclusion that I'm being read whether that's the case or not. I wish I knew which it was. This isn't going to go away so I need to get past this. All I want is to blend in and have a quiet life. If I knew I was just 'unusually sized' to people I could just get on with my quiet life, and I'm interested to see how much I can do that when I come back to the UK next month. If I don't then I'll know that it's not my unusualness that's getting me the stares.
Emotionally I like myself much more. I'm more connected with the world and with other people, like a veil that always stood between me and everything has been pulled aside and I can see the colours and the patterns that I couldn't make out before. I like this very much. Also, and whether this is as a result of hormone levels not being constant with IM, I can get be a bit teary at times. The other night I was listening to some music and it just set me off crying, and I was still crying 3 hours later at 2 in the morning, pretty much without reason. But wow did I feel good the next day, like I'd washed all the bad stuff away. My girlfriend does this sometimes and I always used to ask her what the matter was and she'd say nothing and I could never understand. Now I think I do.
Hair 20% →30% →40%
With professional laser my facial hair is significantly reduced. The Tria is still doing good things for body hair, and I don't need to shave as often as I used to to keep it under control.
The hair on my head is still coming back slowly. In another six months I hope to have enough going on to make a decent stab at a workable feminine hairstyle. In the meantime it's wigs, and if it's still wigs in the future then that will be good enough.
Wardrobe replacement 50% →70% →30%
I've just thrown out a large pile of my male clothes, and I'm accruing more and more women's stuff on shopping trips out on Sunday afternoons. I have a better idea now of what works for me, which is often quite different from what I really want to wear. Never mind. I keep buying the same kind of stuff and I don't know how to break out of this or in what direction. Learning this skill is going to take some time.
Future employment ? →10% →?
I'm still yoyo-ing between my plans to transition opinion my current job and finding a new place to work. It kind of depends on how confident I'm feeling, but after 20 years doing the same thing I'd also quite like a change. Whichever it's 18 months down the line, so there's still time to think and plan.
I started this thread as a means of encouraging myself, and yes, it's good to revisit once in a while and remember where I've been. The day to day the progress we make can be hard to see. For those of us who can't just say **** it and go full time it's a long and sometimes dark road, but I am moving forward, and I will get to where I want to be.
Take care, all :)
Self-esteem: 90%Went from doubting I could ever pass and constantly questioning friends about how I was doing, to feeling confident in how I look with not just my gender, but in how I look. I know I look cute. I know Im not irrestibly hot, nor would I want to be, I like the way I look now, and still have more body changes to look forward to. My ex tearing me down doesnt even phase me anymore and it used to really get to me.
Social adaption: 80% It gets weird around immediate family. I dont have much contact with most of them, and Im ok with that for now. They all know, but they still use the male name, and parents just flat ignore the other changes. My ex is slowly coming around, but I still have to try and present male to her grandmother, who is quite old and we really dont want to "shock". With people I associate on more than a once a month basis, Im female and treated as if I had always been.
Self-acceptance: 99% I find being transgendered has given me a rather unique and beautiful perspective on life. Sure, there was pain, lots and lots of pain, before and during, but now I love life. I appreciate all the little things; every minute I can spend not alone, taking my daughter to the park, even going to the grocery store...
Coming out: 99%Thats a complicated one since it means different things at different times.... Everyone who knew me pre-transition and Ive had contact with in the last year knows I transitioned. Have a couple of new friends that dont know Im trans, and might not ever know. I havent come out to everyone with my sexual orientation though, but being asexual... I dont know if that even counts...
Hair removal: 10% Ive only had one partial face treatment... The one thing that frightens me and usually renders me unable to even leave the house... Feel like I must shave and do makeup before leaving the house, otherwise I tone down the presentation to near androgyny. I dont know why I feel thats safer, as strangers have gendered me correctly even in the most masculine clothes I own the handful of times I have left the house like 30 hours after a close shave.
Voice training: 90% Speaking voice, I avoid rating 100%, but its 100%... Now, I still have a fear of singing in public because I am worried I sound like a guy when singing though my friends say it sounds nothing but female to them...
Socialisation as female: 100% How is this any different from social adaption? Maybe mannerism passability? IDK... If so, people who knew me before tell me it's crazy how much I come off as a girl now, especially considering I was pretty masculine in everything I did before.
Hormone changes: 90% I dont think hormones are even close to done with me (only 6 months in), but if I had to live with the progression Ive acchieved so far, I could manage.
Hair: 90% Want it a bit longer, and have to make sure my hairline is a bit covered. First one will come with time (curly hair takes SOOOO long to grow out), second one, again I can live with because its fairly easy with my hair to do and I also hold out hope in time the corners will fill in a bit .
Wardrobe replacement: 90% Decent enough capsule wardrobe to manage, but would like more dresses and such. Im missing a couple of essentials for my area too, boots and a nice warm winter jacket, but that wont be too hard to find once its later in fall, just a little expensive.
Future employment prospects: 99% My field is fairly non gendered (though mostly males enter it) and should always remain in demand. Im also fairly talented, so I am not worried much about it
I know im late to this... but still... Glad to see progress joan
I'm moving forward quite a bit I think, 1 year on HRT, my body has improved quite a bit, breasts maybe a nice B cup, certainly less body hair, I had a complete facelift with eye lid surgery, my face looks so much nicer, still working on facial hair removal, some has been zapped but more to zap. I feel great about being myself. I still love hetrosexual type men & maybe this fall I can find a new man to be with, my completion is much nicer being on extrogen, living 95% as a normal woman, I have a few relatives that do not know but I never see them anyway. So I'm doing OK I think.
Self-acceptance 95%
I have my odd wt* am I doing? days myself, but when I'm out with my fiance and we're just a girl and a guy out on the town, and I can act as girly as I want around him and he's just happy that I'm happy, I can't fathom why I would ever doubt myself. My life has gotten so much better since I just accepted that I wasn't a nutcase and that there is life after discovering you're a transsexual.
Coming out 90%
A good bit of my family knows. My fiance knows. My friends know. After a while I got so sick of hiding it. I'm Rose to everyone I meet and I no longer present male at all.
Hair removal 10%
Got most of my facial hair taken care of but after 10 laser treatments there's still stubble, and I can't afford electrolysis. As for my body, I just shave or use Nair on whatever part of me is going to be uncovered (usually arms, face, and upper chest).
Voice training 75%
I already had a very fem/androgynous voice (I used to get called 'ma'am' on the phone all the time) so I do OK as a full-time woman. Sometimes when my allergies kick in I give myself away a little. Also, my singing voice is masculine in range (G2-D6 with a clear falsetto kicking in around E5), color, and technique, and I sound like a 14-year-old boy. I would really like to find a singing instructor that works with trans so I can reinvent myself musically as a dramatic contralto.
Socialisation as female 80%
I spend every day of my public life as a woman. I dress well enough to get compliments from cis women about my outfits. I still don't have many female friends though (most of my friends are gay men).
Hormone changes 30%
I've only just begun to see something resembling breasts, and my fat distribution leaves a lot to be desired, but my skin is softer. The most important changes I've gotten from hormones are a sharp reduction in aggression and anger. I'm less likely to interpret feeling uncomfortable about a situation as just background noise until it drives me to explode any more and I feel like the "rewiring" that comes with hormones is definitely having a positive effect.
Hair 95%
I do have a fairly high forehead, but I had already been growing my hair out for more than 2 years when I began seeking HRT and it's been more than 4 years now so I've got a pretty nice amount of it. It's thick and brown with red highlights, and when I clean and condition it, I have a sheen and volume that some cis women are jealous of!
Wardrobe replacement 50%
I at least know what I'm getting into, though money is a major problem right now.
Future employment prospects 50%
On the one hand, I'm getting a degree in social sciences because I can't make it outside the humanities (I tried; wasted a year at tech school getting mediocre grades and failing to get lasting employment before most of what I learned went obsolete). This greatly limits my career prospects. Also, I have to pretty much abandon any previous job experience because I lost my last job in 2011 due to my dysphoria getting so bad I had a major breakdown, so now I'm a 30 year old woman who, for all intents and purposes, has never worked. On the other hand, I'm in an enviable position as a transgender author in that I'm published and transitioned before getting widespread notice, so if my writing does get popular enough to make a living on, I have the option of going into it more or less stealth and not having to transition publicly.
Stagnant
Wow, was this from almost 6 months ago? Update time!
Self-esteem: 90% I'm almost there completely. Still feel a bit self-conscious about being too bulky, but I no longer wish to hasten my expiration date. Still a bit too heavy, but I have a pretty nice butt going now and some killer cleavage. I'd say 93% now.
Social adaptation: 100% This was easy. All I had to do was stop pretending to be dudely, and now everyone gets that I'm a girl.
Self-acceptance: 100% I'm 100% on board. Every day gets a bit better and I'm finally living the dream.
Coming out: 100% Everyone knows.
Hair removal: 80% Still have icky body hair, but mah face is 99% there. Still have that pesky 1% of the beard left, but the body hair is much finer now after the orchi. I'd say 95% now.
Voice training: 60% It's OK, I sometimes get ma'am-ed on the phone now... I'm probably 75% of the way to best case now.
Socialisation as female: 100% I'm there.
Hormone changes: I'd say 50% maybe Small bewbs, some butt, soft skin, less body hair, emotional bliss. I have no idea where I'll max out, but I'd say 60-65%.
Hair: 80% Still need to let the new growth catch up to the rest, but I don't think I'll need plugs now. What I have is good enough to go out with. Wish it was longer/thicker. It's definitely better now. 90%.
Wardrobe replacement: 100% I don't wear guy clothes. It's all girly now.
Future employment prospects: ??? I'm mostly unemployable now. Haven't had a proper day job in years, but my wife is a prominent attorney and I can/do make money as a guitar tech/luthier/guitar collecter/dealer. We're pretty far into the top tax bracket, so if I do make money, the taxes wipe out too much of it to make it worth my time. If I want a day job, all I have to do is buy/start a business.
Since the original post, I have had an orchi and am now legally Jill and female. Mah bewbs are sore 24/7 these days and having a nice growth spurt.
Voice is okay.
I look os-os. (Simpsons reference #3482)
I need a lot more facial hair removal. (Only had about 50 hours of effective electro) I wasted probably 20 hours on a crappy local tech.
Passing is about 70%. It's probably never going to improve beyond that no matter what I do. Meh...oh well.
Hormones I would give about a 6.5/7. (Depending on how I feel that day)
Quote from: FalseHybridPrincess on March 17, 2014, 09:02:20 AM
to everyone else im just a guy (feminine , masculine it doesnt matter , all that matters is that im a guy to them)
I know how this feels as well and with the job I have working on the phones I'm required to use my legal name. Then again it also has a slight upside since I've been working on my voice I'm getting called miss and madem quite a bit more which makes me happy inside and even though I may not physically pass as a woman yet its good to know that I can pass vocally at least. Then again phones do change how people sound as well so who knows how well its going
Quote from: Carrie Liz on March 17, 2014, 02:18:00 PM
At 14 months in, here's my "ratings":
Self-acceptance 80%
Self-esteem 30%
Coming out 90%
Hair removal 80%
Voice training 70%
Socialisation as female 30%
Hormone changes 65%
Hair 50%
Wardrobe replacement 20%
Future employment prospects 10%
Just wanted to do a quick update to this, about another 6 months further along, 4.5 months into full-time, and 3 weeks into my first job as a girl:
Self-Acceptance: 80% (+0%)
I've honestly made no progress here. I'm still having pretty much the same doubts I had back in March. Still completely accepting of the fact that I'm never going off of hormones, but lacking that last bit of confidence that I really am a woman now. When my mom calls me her "daughter," I still feel like I don't deserve that title, and I'm still feeling like an "other" from cis women.
Self-Esteem: 65% (+35%)
BIG progress here. I am feeling SO good about who I am recently, and there's not a single day that I'm not happy that I'm presenting as female at work. So why only 60%? I'm still having HUGE problems with my appearance. I'm still having a lot of self-critical days where I'm feeling inadequate to cis-women and wishing that I could be more definitively feminine instead of feeling so huge and butchy and unfeminine in appearance. Going full-time and getting a job and being completely accepted REALLY gave me a huge boost here, though.
Coming Out: 100% (+10%)
Woohoo! I made it! \(^_^)/ Out to everyone, full-time, with a job now, and presumably stealth to most people at that new job.
Hair Removal: 80% (+0%)
No progress. Still dealing with a few stray hairs, but mostly gone, haven't gone in for any extra laser or electrolysis since I last posted.
Voice Training: 80% (+10%)
Going full-time and getting a new job was a big boost to this. I find myself speaking in the female range very naturally, and I've only been "sir"ed on the phone once in the entire last 10 months or so. However, I'm still not happy with it. It still takes conscious effort to sound feminine rather than fem-androgynous. It's WAY too low for someone my age. And I'm having a really hard time pushing it up the last few notes. I've had someone at work tell me "you have a deep voice," and I'm still WAY behind on getting the feminine inflections and pitch variations that a cis-woman has, so I'm still not completely happy with this, but I have been pretty blessed in the voice department all things considered. Still trying to decide whether VFS is worth the investment or not.
Socialization as female: 65% (+35%)
HUGE improvement here! Being around women who I'm presumably stealth to makes such a big difference. You learn very quickly what people talk to you about, what they expect of you, how you're supposed to act, what you're supposed to like, everything. I've still got a LONG way to go here, though. I'm still having a hard time with my habit of viewing women as "others," and getting nervous and standoffish around the beautiful waitresses at work, completely forgetting that I'm not a threat to them anymore, and likewise forgetting that I'm in a role where everyone expects me to be attracted to guys, so people saying the word "boyfriend" to me isn't a gay joke anymore. I'm still feeling a bit excluded from young cis-women's social circles, but I've had a LOT of progress here since last time. So this is improving and fast.
Hormone Changes: 65% (+0%)
This one shocked me, but frankly I feel like I've made NO progress since my last update. And my emotional state in regards to my appearance has actually gotten worse, which is why I've lowered the number. My boobs have been stuck at the exact same size since last November, my face has barely feminized at all since April, I still look really big and really masculine, and I'm still feeling like I'm barely passable, and like my femininity is very fragile and just past the threshold of passability. I'm still feeling really unpretty, masculine, mannish, whatever. I still hate my big chest cavity, the hair that hasn't regrown yet, my big wrists and knees and ankles, my lack of a decent hip or butt, I could go on. Again, I just don't feel female. I feel like my appearance is maybe 60% female 40% male at best, and it has really not gotten much better since my last post. In a pure level of whether I've feminized more or not, yes, I have. But how I feel about that feminization has gotten worse. I was hoping that I'd keep looking better and better and better, but for some reason it's just stalled instead. And I'm really bummed about that, and wishing I could look more naturally feminine.
Hair: 60% (+10%)
F*** my hair. Seriously. I HATE HATE HATE it and wish with everything I had that it could be more feminine. Yes, it is passing, yes, it is technically fine, which is why I have to give it a "passing" grade of 60%, but seriously, I hate my hair so much. I still have a recession pattern on the sides that makes me look completely male unless I cover it up, I still have a half-bald patch on the back, and it's still just refusing to grow at any decent rate of speed. It JUST now hit my shoulders, and I've been growing the damned stuff out for 19 months now. I'm frankly aggravated with it.
Wardrobe Replacement: 80% (+60%)
HUGE improvement here. I'm still looking for more, but yeah, I was forced to get a LOT of clothes in preparation for my new job, and I love them all, and I really don't see myself needing much more for the time being. I could still use more, and need to find more variety, but what I have now is more than good enough.
Future Employment Prospects: 90% (+80%)
After being terrified that I was NEVER going to get another job in my field after being fired due to my trans status as of my last update, I have a job again, and it's going to eventually lead me back to being a poker dealer, so everything is good here. I am SO happy that I got this job, you can't even believe it. :) (It will go up to 100% once I actually have that job. But for now I'm still a bit underemployed.)
Self-acceptance 10%
With that body? No!
Self-esteem 50%
I'm a very creative person, i know many things, have a high IQ, know many things about "beeing" ... but thats all. I'm not a kind of women that are sexy, pretty and men would like. I really love fashion but i can't live that.
Coming out 100%
Snow from yesterday
Hair removal 50%
Face is okay after a 15 session with laser. Arms and legs goes back with E2 after 20 month now.
Voice training 50%
I was a singer. Its okay for my daily routine but doesnt sound very feminine.
Socialisation as female 30%
I often have to do with people knew my as a man - so its difficult to say. Other people see my as a ordinary women ... but i cant live the whole spectrum of beeing a women. No flirting, no compliments, no bikinis, no swimming, not these, not that ...
Hormone changes 10%
Worst thing ive ever done.
Hair 10%
I hate my hair. Its thin, no volume, no denstity. It grew about 16cm (6 inch) in 2 years and stopped this year. Unbelievable!
Wardrobe replacement 80%
The only things i bought the last two years was fashion and heels/boots. Thats one of the nice things in my transition.
Future employment prospects 90%
I'm my own boss
Average: 48% ???
Well peeps, today marks my 8 month mark on hrt, and since my last update was at around midway of the 4 month mark I thought it was time for an update as in a few areas there have been some significant changes. So, without further adieu, Here's where I'm at now:
Self Acceptance: (formerly 70%) 80%. This one takes an increase of 10% due to the fact my SRS has been moved up to if all goes well this December instead of December 2015. Sooner now I'll finally be whole after 50 years of living in between genders in my nether regions. I can actually now see a glimmering light of hope for a normal life and normal relationships, and finally finding and being able to be intimate with that special someone I've been searching for all my life at the end of this long dark tunnel. I'm so so happy over it I'm almost giddy. There is another reason my self acceptance has increased that will become obvious later in this update.
Coming Out: 100%. Here there hasn't been much change as everyone who matters to me knows. However, it should be noted I have lost a few more friends -all males, who just can't understand why I need to transform. The way I see it, they weren't really my friends in the first place(no change here as I'm already 100% full time).
Voice Training: (formerly 20%). Now 75%! Eureka!, everyone this girl has found her voice and is no longer getting sirred on the phone. This truly is monumental, for after 5 years of trying with no success I'd almost given up, resigned that my 91 accident just did too much damage, and achieving a feminine voice for me would be impossible. I will say that traditional voice training that works for others did nothing for me. Singing along to Katy Perry's "I Kissed a Girl" and an old Niel Young song are what allowed the breakthrough after the miracle of hrt had raised my voice in pitch past damage from my accident. I still have a problem holding it for lengthy periods but have been successful in using my new voice exclusively out in public and especially, on the phone. Practice practice!
Socialization as Female: 100%. I pass without thinking about it, and have been doing so now for a number of years. Now-a-days it's just about living life as the girl/woman I've always been, so no change here. In addition driver's license gender marker has been changed along with all other documents to reflect me as female.
Hair Removal: (formerly 70%) 75%. I've had a little success here with just plucking the grays that are left, which haven't come back after doing so on my neck area. However in the end I'll need to book about 3 Electro sessions to completely clear my face.
Hormone Changes: (formerly 80%) 90%. I have had nothing but positive enhancements to my figure from hrt. Facial changes have been miraculous ranging from a shrunken brow ridge to my cheeks filling in, but two changes are just nothing less than phenominal: I used to have a curtain over my eyelids which has for the most part gone away, and in addition, the bags under my eyes have completely disappeared. I now look 25 years younger than I did pre hrt and can't get enough of the compliments I'm getting from friends and supportive family on how young and healthy I look. My booby's are now a B cup(I wear a 32B bra) and I must wear a bra for support at all times. Also they are still having growth spurts but not as prominent as before which is okay, they can slow down now, lol! I still have 10 pounds to lose, which should put me waist wise where I want to be.
Hair: (formerly 75%) now at 80% and steadily increasing daily! Here my hrt continues it's miracle as my problem areas continue to fill in and thicken. My bangs are now long enough I can pull them to one side and overall length continues to increase rapidly. I now have a nice thin part again. Something pre hrt I never thought I'd again have, YaY!
Wardrobe Replacement: 100%. No change here but more and more cute outfits and dresses make their way home with me. I love shopping for pretty things to wear. I'm steadily getting more summer dresses as I love these, and of course I need more shoes, I'll never get tired of shoe shopping.
Future Employment Prospects: Formerly 75%. Now 65%. Work prospects continue to decline the girlier looking I get. It seems the macho types can't see a cute 5-5, 118 lb. girl knowing what she's doing with boat and motor repair. Might be just a slow period, might be time for a career change, I dunno.
So in summary: Though I'm so so very happy and pleased with the enhancements and positive changes to my face, hair, and figure hrt has made and continues to make, my SRS is still the ultimate achievement necessary in my transformation to make me whole. All in all though, I live my life happily as the girl/woman I've always been, and only think about transformation or trans issues while here within this great community that continues to give so so much support, and sometimes when taking my med's. Other than these times I'm out there just living my life very happily with the challenges, wonders, and difficulty we women face in our daily lives.
Peace everyone! :icon_bunch:
Ali :icon_flower:
I'm at 8 1/2 months since I started transitioning.
Self-acceptance 100%
I fully accept who I am. I know who I am and that's the only way I can be. It wasn't easy by any means as I use to have lots of doubts about my transition but over time I have learned to accept myself.
Coming out 99%
I'm out to everyone that knows me. The only one's I'm not out to are my niece and nephew and that's not by my design. I'm not allowed to see them as me so for the time being I'll always be stuck at 99%. In many cases most of my "world" know I'm transgender as I have been steadily getting involved in the transgender activism scene as we DESPERATLY need individuals who are willing to put themselves out there for those of us who can't let their voice be heard. It's risky on my part but since I pass so well and am so incredibly nice you just can't but help liking me. I don't know what it is about me but I'm infectious when it comes to winning people over to my side.
Hair removal 80%
I've been doing laser hair removal since November 2013 and starting in September I'll be doing electrolysis to kill off the remaining light colored hairs. My five o'clock shadow is gone and the only parts that remain are my mustache and I couldn't be happier. All I do each day is shave in the morning for my own sake as I can't stand to feel the whiskers but nobody notices them.
Voice training 90%
I'm very proud of the work I've put into my voice. I get gendered correctly over the phone, in person you would never know unless my voice is getting tried after talking for many hours throughout the day. When I came out to my boss he actually knew of a voice therapist and was very worried for me as he had no clue as to what I actually sound like. When I came to work on my first day of living full time he was blown away. I was in another person's office talking to them and he was wondering who the voice of this new woman belongs too. After that he said I'd be wasting my time if I saw the voice therapist but I still saw her to see where I was really at and she was IMPRESSED! I still don't think my voice is good enough but everyone tells me I sound amazing but I look at this as my self conscious voice in my head is spurring me on to do better.
Socialization as female 100%
As much as I detest the word pass, I have to say that I do pass completely. Everyone I know treats me no differently than any other woman. I might be 5'11" tall Amazon woman but very few people have ever questioned my gender to my face in the time that I've been transitioning. Just yesterday I went to a new doctor to continue & modify my HRT regiment. The nurse who was taking my vitals and asking me questions as to why I was there asked me why I was on a hormone regiment. Before I could tell her I was transgender she blurted out "oh you must have had a hysterectomy! I'm so sorry" The look on her face when I told her I was transgender was a Kodiak moment! So even though I don't think enough about myself everyone in public who does not have knowledge of me being transgender only see me as a tall woman :) I go to a weekly women's yoga class and even though I did basically out myself to the group through the yoga teacher asking her group if it would be ok if a transgender woman joins the group, they all see me as me even though most of them DO know that I am biologically male. They only see me as a woman in every way and have admitted it to me and the teacher. They were apprehensive at first but once they got to know me they couldn't see how I ever was a guy :D
Hormone changes 65%
On hormones for the past 8 1/2 months :) Lots of changes, emotional, skin, facial, hair growth has slowed on my body, body fat is going to the right places, I actually have a very good figure. I could list everything but a lot has changed for me in all positive ways from being on HRT. The only thing's I'm not happy about is my breast growth, I'm just around a A cup right now and am not happy. I'm deathly afraid that I'll go bald so thankfully my new doctor put me on one of the two new medications I wanted to add to my regiment which was Finasteride to help out with what ever male pattern baldness has set in at 30 years old.
Hair 100%
Even when I was 100% in the closet the one thing I couldn't live without was my hair. It's down to just below my shoulder blades, curly and very pretty. I get compliments on my hair ALL the time which makes me feel soooooooooooooo good. Especially when you can tell people are actually jealous of a transgender woman having beautiful hair haha.
Wardrobe replacement 75%
I have enough clothes to wear to work for 3 weeks without re wearing the same item minus my form fitting khaki pants which are a requirement. I badly want to wear a skirt or dress but since I work in a factory that isn't going to happen any time soon unless I get a upfront office job. I do like the job I have though, I still get to wear very cute blouses at least and I get compliments on my style a lot. I still have a long way to go but eventually I'll have a pretty impressive wardrobe :D
Future employment prospects 100%
I am transitioning on the job and I have upper management on my side. My boss has said some of the most wonderful things about me that I never even knew he felt. Like when I came out to him after legally changing my name we went to tell the plant manager and hr manager about my transition. During our meeting he told both of them that if he loses me as an employee for any reason that his department would go under and that we needed to do our best "as a company" to retain me as I am a very good and skilled worker. When it was announced that there was a transgender person transitioning at work and that I was me "spread by word of mouth once I announced it to the department I worked in" I have been met with 99% acceptance. There are only a few jerks who don't use the right pronouns but I let them slide right now until I'm at the 3 month's of being full time and then I'll start cracking down on the few that refuse to use the right pronouns and are just rude for no reason. I have so many people at work cheering me on to be me and a bunch of people have come up to me and said they were proud of me. I NEVER expected that I would receive this level of acceptance at work since I do work in the bible belt south. It probably does help me a lot that management IS on my side so nobody is willing to risk their employment to discriminate or harass me.
Happiness level 100%
I couldn't be happier with where I am in my transition right now. I never thought I'd be where I am right now both physically and mentally.
Self-acceptance 5%
Still can't stand to look in the mirror
Self-esteem 40%
I like the personally I have but it seems I am not able to fully express myself outword just yet
Coming out 50%
I have told select family and friends and I'm seeing a therapist, I hope it all works out
Hair removal 0%
I still forget to shave some mornings and working on that habit first
Voice training 75%
I like the way my voice sounds and without a name or face I can pass as a woman in most cases already
Socialisation as female ?%
I would hang out with women like I do now talking about boys clothes and bras. Not sure what else there is to change.
Hormone changes 10%
Worst thing ive ever done.
Hair 40%
Its getting there. I hear hormones help that substantially also.
Wardrobe replacement 0%
I don't even have a full mans wardrobe much less a woman's
Future employment prospects 0%
The place I'm at is very accepting to the point one of the managers is trans and a few SR manages are gay.
I've been transitioning for a long time. While I'm not exactly sure when it started, I've been full time for 9 months now. :)
Self-acceptance 90%
I would have said 100%, but something that happened little over a month ago showed me that I've a little further to go. I was being afforded so much success in transition that I started to hide and resent being trans. At least partly due to a toxic attitude towards difference in my family growing up. Anyway, once you do that, suddenly it becomes something hurtful back. And someone poked me there... It was a painful but vitally important experience.
Self-esteem 65%
I guess like most women, my self esteem is tied into the way I look too. Not that anyone would know... I hide it well and stay in positive company. This figure will keep going up with ffs, ba and grs, but likely never quite hit 100%. Or maybe it will, who knows.
Coming out 100%
Coming out to people who knew the person before me, 100%. Coming out to people who never met the other person, 0%.
Hair removal 95%
Talking just about the face here, I'm at 95% :) The end is in sight, and the current growth is nothing.
Voice training 95%
My voice is good... I've never been misgendered over the phone, and it survives for many hours talking a day. It still takes effort to maintain, and will continue to improve a little over time. I'm also trying to develop a female singing voice. Now that is hard! But I'm making progress slowly...
Socialisation as female 100%
I'm just like any other girl out there in all situations. This isn't something I've ever had to really think about at all. It all came naturally.
Hormone changes 50%
This is a tough one... My body still has not give up the fight, and continues to try and surge T through my blood. I need to be very careful with my regimine to keep it steady. Just one forgotten dose can upset the balance. And it still happens from time to time :(. I can see the difference in skin, nails and hair, as well as all mental aspects. So I suspect there will be further changes when the factories are gone. I cannot wait!
Hair 90%
I love my hair :). It's not terribly thick, but it does look beautiful all by itself. It tends to curl at the ends, straight at the start. And I've a beautiful color too. I'd love it to be thicker and stronger... And once the T factories are gone, that may just happen too.
Wardrobe replacement 100%
There's nothing really to say. I've something to wear regardless of my mood. And some days I still can't find something to wear :P
Future employment prospects ???%
I'm employed in a stable position now, although will be trying to swap careers in a few years. Given my age alone, it's going to be tough. Throw in looking for a partner and starting a family, and yep. Tough. I'll find a way still.
Average: 87%
Self-acceptance 20%
I've accepted myself as trans and I'm on hormones now but I feel like it's all too little too late. Coming out to friends, presenting as female, going full-time - it all seems so far impossible and it's overwhelming me. I don't want to be 30 and still have this horrible penis but I can't even start making steps towards surgery until I'm living socially as a woman. What do I do!!! I can't bear to look in the mirror without concerning myself over every little flaw. I still break down when I see an old photo of myself at 14 or 15.
Coming out 5%
I haven't told anyone but my parents. And they basically act like it never happened and ignore it.
Hair removal 75%
Only did one laser session so far but I didn't have much facial hair to begin with. Down to about ~50 hairs on my face.
Voice training 10%
I don't have a female voice so this might as well be 0%. Tried practicing a bit on my own but I just get really discouraged really quickly. I cannot figure resonance out. Recordings of my voice just sound off and I don't know what to do to change it. I can't get any consistency - every recording sounds completely different. I think I may need professional help... if I could afford it.
Socialization as female 0%
No. I mean I used to when I was younger but between my family always telling me I was an embarrassment and constant bullying and beatings in school, I stopped. It's all come back now and I'm just too scared it's going to be that all over again. I'll do anything not to be the freak again.
Hormone changes ???
On hormones for 9 weeks so far and seeing some nice changes. Skins changed, hips are growing, breasts are growing. My face still looks 100% male. I doubt HRT will be enough to cover up my bone structure.
Hair 25%
Been growing my hair for 7 months and it just looks like a frizzy unkempt mess that still doesn't even extend past my jaw. I can finally do a makeshift ponytail for neater hair while out as a guy, so that's an improvement
Wardrobe replacement 5%
I'm buying some girly and androgynous pieces here and there. A pair of pants or a jacket. Haven't really bought anything daring yet and nothing clearly feminine.
Future employment prospects 75%
If I can get through med school without killing myself, I think I'll have a job...
I'm at the very beginning but I thought it would be a good starting point to rate how things are so far.
Self-acceptance 100%
I could never be happier embarking on my journey. All my life I have dreamed of this. I am me. I am woman. Hear me roar!
Coming out 5%
Wife knows, kids sorta know (I dress in front of them), one or two coworkers know, HR knows, trans friends IRL know.
Hair removal 20%
Full speed ahead with electrolysis. Hair is clearing faster than I imagined. Yes, it's a bit of pain, but no pain no gain. I actually enjoy the conversations with the electrologist (who is also trans).
Voice training 1%
I have zero voice training. Well let me rephrase that, zero MtF voice training. I do have voice training for other stuff... I called a speech pathologist and hope we can set something up.
Socialisation as female 0% or N/A
Totally not even dreaming of being there yet.
Hormone changes ??? 10%
Did some DIY but stopped. Had some good effects. Had some stuff (moobs/boobs, carry angle, hip rotation) from before, probably due to low T and other factors. Starting officially soon, in about a month.
Hair 10%
It's growing. Bangs reach halfway to my eyebrows now. Depending on how I style it, I can look like a girl with short hair.
Wardrobe replacement 10%
I have a few things, know my size but expect it to change. I have underwear for every day of the week and I pretty much stopped wearing guy underwear. I have dresses, jeans, shirts, etc. Need more clothes.
Future employment prospects 100%
Transitioning on the job but finding a job has never really been hard for me. I have been recruited by top companies so I am in demand.
3 years HRT
Self-acceptance 100%
Self-esteem 10%
Coming out 5%
Hair removal 10%(but i only have upper lip hair so i will just say 10% but if this is also body then well 0%)
Voice training 0%(My confidence always scares me off from trying)
Socialisation as female 0%(I was betrayed a lot when I first came out 4 years ago and lost everyone)
Hormone changes 100%(Doubt they will do anything else for me)
Hair 100%(I have perfect hair and I do mean perfect I have been offered money for me to cut it so people can make extensions out of it @.@)
Wardrobe replacement 0%(I dont think a few sports bras count as they just added not replaced)
All in all I am no where :(.
Future employment prospects 10%
I am pre-HRT, just starting and I won't put percentages on each but here it goes
Self-acceptance
I have walked a long path and gone a long, however I honestly don't think I accept myself fully yet. Yes, it is so much better now but I still have days when I feel completely ugly and wonder if I will ever find love. If someone tells me there is a guy who finds me cute, I will most likely not believe them.
Self-esteem
much better, I feel more confident and am facing ny fears and moving forward.
Coming out
My brother, mom and dad know and my brother is completely accepting. Though, not my parents. My sister doesn't know as she is living abroad, I am afraid how she will react especially as she has been an only daughter and the apple of my parents' eyes, so yeah. My best friend knows and is accepting. I have two other who kinda know or at least have a clue.
Hair removal
I don't have much facial hair and don't really get a shadow. I had my first laser treatment on my chin and upper lip, the only places I have. I am very lucky here and might not need many sessions. Thank God
Voice training
My voice never broke and this constantly got me ridicularized. I pass as a girl on the phone always. Together with mannerisms, it made me a pariah in HS. That and my overall personality, likes, hobbies, the way I move, whatever.
Socialisation as female
I have no idea, until I am full time, this probably won't be accurate. But I guess for the most part I am treated like I am weaker, more sensitive and naive for acting and sounding girly. Women feel comfortable to confide in me and so my friends. Still not the same as being treated as female by everyone but certainly comes with different perks than being taken as hetero cis guy.
Hormone changes done.
Not started.
Hair
I growing it out and loving it. But UGH it takes time. Mainly because it is curly.
Wardrobe replacement 0%
haven't changed one bit but I don't wear very butch clothes and have been wearing tighter jeans.
Self-acceptance 95%
There is very little that makes me insecure these days. As RuPaul said, "If you can't love yourself, how in the hell are you gonna love anybody else? Can I get an Amen!"
Coming out 100%
My family knows, my husband knows. Close friends know. Outside of that I am full accepted as female. What is there to come out about?
Hair removal 90%
Getting Laser, have one more appointment until I am done, and go back for maintenance.
Voice training 100%
My voice never got low, always been naturally high, always been ma'amed, even before transition. That was the easiest thing in my transition
Socialisation as female 100%
When you can get married in front of 200 people and nobody but close friends and family know you are trans! Then you got it down!
Hormone changes 85%
On Hormones for almost 2 years. Seeing lots of changes. Boobs constantly getting bigger (YAY).
Hair 100%
I started growing out my hair pre-transition and it is almost to my but now!
Wardrobe replacement 5%
Simply a 5 because I will NEVER get enough clothes! I have NO male clothes anymore, but will never have enough clothing!!!!
Future employment prospects 90%
Once name change is fully complete it will be 100.
Name change will go through this next month. Once that is done, that is my biggest hurdle.
Ok i'll bite and consider this a good exercise for a point in time to look back at.
Self acceptance; 90% There are down days and features I don't like but knowing and finally accepting myself as trans is great. Every day brings some joy when all i gotta do is squeeze myself. Self acceptance remains the biggest hurdle and greatest change in my life. I also accept that i lived a long full life as a guy with a girl in shadow and transitioning adds a new era and truth to my life without erasing my past.
Self esteem; 80% Hmmm, most days i am full of confidence and a comfortable sense of self worth and then there are the blues to be sung for the insecurity, fears and doubts that are less often but still real to deal with.
Coming out; 100% My story has been on the front page of our daily newspaper, in a local magazine and I love being OUT and clearly transgender to many. Everyone knows me as Tessa who transitioned and that is the truth. I feel fortunate to have nothing to hide and no stereotypes to fit into. I like being approachable and having teachable moments to share.
Hair removal; 60% (This must be for MtFs only) ;) I have had laser and the hormones have been wonderful for my body hair. Unfortunately I am pain adverse and avoid getting the dang beard hairs electrocuted one by one seems tedious and expensive at best. I am procrastinating and shaving still >:(
Voice training; 40% I have availed myself of help from a speech pathologists but found i was not doing the homework. Part of my philosophical challenge is the very nature of what "having a voice" means. How i sound to others is no measure of my gender identity or femininity for that matter. Had i started transition at 16 instead of 60 my efforts might be more diligent and not feel like such a loss of self to me. And then it could be that i'm just complacent since I would really love to sing a sweet soprano.
Socialization as female 100% I love living full-time as myself and accept that I am a female with a different history than most. Still the validation that comes from having all my identification papers and documents declare me female is a wonderful feeling. That goes for the much ballyhooed bathroom deal too, only female for this girl. living as female includes all aspects of my life. I once worried about working in my old rough neck roles but all kinds of women drive tractors, work farms and clear trails too. Being female is freedom for me.
Hormone changes 75% ? That is a hard one to know as I am just over 2 years in and I know people who have continued to experience changes for many years past that. I would say I am very happy with the changes I have to date. I delayed transition for too long because I thought it had to remake me into a totally passable woman. I have learned a lot since then and continue to be grateful for having a mind at peace and a body far more congruent with my identity. The changes to my libido and emotional range are particularly welcome as is this smooth skin and these lovely, perky, teenaged sort of breasts and butt.
Hair 90% I love long hair and have worn it very long most of my adult life. The family genetics have been good to me with a full supply. I still need to improve my styling and hair care routines but getting there is part of the process.
Wardrobe replacement 90% I have no more room for more clothes and shoes but love shopping, especially the thrifts, and finding clothes that allow me to express myself and feel so free to do so. I have my old boy clothes for farm and field work as needed but recognize that clothes really don't make the man ;).
Future employment 0% I need no prospects and am comfortably retired after a successful career as an anesthetist. I feel kinda bullet proof as I have no bosses or coworkers to appease and, in fact, i am chair of the board for several organizations and elected to public office by my neighbors. Still, I am well aware of how difficult it can be to be out on the job. Most of my coworkers considered me gay or eccentric with long hair, manicured nails and women's jewelry. They often revealed their homophobia in words and hateful biases. I retired as soon as i was eligible. The work place is gaining some protections but it is not a fair place yet considering hearts and minds.
I am really very happy with a transition I consider a dream denied and now come true. I feel fortunate to be here and sharing with all of you.
I had my GRS in 1987, so I've been through the social grinder so to speak.
Self-acceptance 100% This is the one that is hardest to face, I believe. I don't know why. We push for this our whole lives and then when we get it, we still have doubts about ourselves. It took me a few years to run away from my past. Even here in California where gays were accepted at the time, transgendered people were not. So professionally, I had to live completely stealth or not work.
Self-esteem 95% I'd be a liar if I don't doubt myself from time to time. But it has nothing to do with transgender issues. Those are so far in the past that it's hard for me to remember unless I go back to my diaries. Oh... KEEP DIARIES. You might want them someday, like if you want to write a book about your life.
Coming out 15% My family knows but most of my close friends don't. They met me as who I am not who I was. I don't have a problem with that distinction. But my family lives in another state, so it's not hard to keep them divided like that.
Hair removal 100% This was the most painful and long endurance run of everything. We didn't have laser back then. And it was hair by hair. i only did my face and I'm glad I didn't do anything else because the other body hair went on permanent vacation.
Voice training 100% I can do it. I trained myself with a tape answering machine. I have recordings here in the threads. I can't maintain it though. I suppose it doesn't matter. I get by fine even when I drop a step or two. I have been thinking about going to Yeson. But geez, that's a lot of money and I may be moving this year or next. I might need the cash for that. There was a time when I would have gone for it without question. I would have put it on credit cards.
Socialisation as female 100% I have no issues whatsoever... oh, except one. I'm a size 8 for pants and an XL or 14 for my top. There are two reasons for that. Now why in the world can't I find a dress that fits my boobs and my skinny butt? There are a lot of junior sizes that work but I'm not much of a junior anymore.
Hormone changes I don't know. I'm fine. Hormones didn't do all that much for me. Maybe they softened my face a bit? Not much.
Hair I still have it where it counts and everywhere else, it sort of went away. I don't even have to shave my legs.
Wardrobe replacement 100% by several times. My weight went up with diabetes but over the past five years, I've brought it down below where I was in high school and that's with this extra 7 pounds I carry on my chest. I've had to replace stuff 4 times recently so it won't fall off. I am very happy with the result. Now I can buy stuff off the rack.
Future employment prospects zilch. I have ended my career. I'm still young enough to work. But why should I? I have enough to get buy. I'm sort of poking around for something part time and interesting but I want no schedule. I can meet dates for projects but a daily schedule is out of the question. I never know what I'll want to do each day.
A lot has changed since this was first posted. I do remember this thread though, it looks fun and interesting. Here it is:
Self-acceptance - 95%
Never liked myself when I looked in the mirror. Now, I think I'm gorgeous. I've made progress I never dreamed possible before I started transitioning.
Self-esteem - 90%
I can now easily pass in public but I still will soon have FFS to smooth the rough edges. My body shape is about 85% hourglass and my hips have that female look, plus I have a 27" waist that helps. My trans friends compliment me on my looks all the time. My cheeks and complexion seem to be a big hit to everyone. :icon_walk:
Coming out - 75%
Came out to important family members. Still want to come out to friends who've always known me as an alpha male.
Hair removal - 95%
Pictures of me even a few years back are disturbing to me. Electrolysis is a godsend. I might have laser on my arms and other parts but my face is most important.
Voice training - 65%
Sometimes I'll find the perfect pitch and other times it's off. I can switch my "old" voice off but my female voice needs work but with constant practice I'll get it.
Socialisation as female - 75%
I feel way more comfortable since people started calling me miss and ma'am. I do get shook sometimes as I don't know how other people see me.
Hormone changes - 100%
I've been on the same proven formula for 5 1/2 years straight.
Hair 40%
It's been growing quite nicely for the past few months. After FFS I'll look into getting extensions.
Wardrobe replacement 30%
Over the past few months, passing has given me extra confidence and now shop freely wherever I want, where as before I hesitated. Full time is on the horizon and now I am preparing my wordrobe as such. I don't even consider my new things to be "female", they're just clothes. I've thought to myself, me wearing my old "mens" clothes doesn't even make anymore sense. I do like tight things that show off my body to add to my passing. Also buying cute shoes whenever possible. :icon_yes:
Future employment prospects - pretty ->-bleeped-<-ty
My employment lately has been spotty, the economy is ->-bleeped-<-ty, after FFS I honestly don't know what I'm going to do. I've worked for biased ->-bleeped-<-s who want the male who fits into the business culture, which I absolutely can't be anymore. I'll find something to do with my experience and skills.
Don't lose hope... I've been there. Many times. Laughed at, ridiculed and suffered in silence... through discipline and hard work, 6 years later I rose like phoenix from the ashes, against all odds. I became one tough cookie! I stepped THROUGH the pain, and got rewarded with a beautiful life.
I never thought I would be able to pass, but eventually I did. It took me years. I went FROM: being seen as a male, laughed at as transgender, not passable, ever wondering if I could ever see myself as a woman, not knowing if anyone would be able to love me. TO: 6 years later, now I am passable and in a position where I can choose men who want to date me.
Quite weird, but awesome. Most progress came after SRS. Some says SRS doesn't change much, but for me it changed everything. As if I have a new aura, if you believe in such a thing... Completely reborn.
Don't forget. It's the darkest before dawn...
self acceptance 98%
I am a very decisive person but I still have insecure moments. Mostly I know who I am and that this transitioning thing is the right thing to do. My self esteem is closely tied to this.
coming out 10%
I have identified myself as a transperson to a very small group of people. Only close family and friends are aware of my issue. To the general public I am female and nothing but. Most other people are unaware of my history or don't recognise me and I don't really see old friends from before anymore so I can be as female as I choose without much retaliation.
hair removal 5%
I still can grow a bit of a beard but I shave close often enough that it doesn't really show. I have however researched nearby hair salons and will be getting my facial hair delt with very soon. Mum and dad will be assisting me with paying for hair removal.
voice training 100%
I have alot of fun impersonating my mum when people call. This was the first thing I worked on when I began transitioning.
socialisation 80%
I love shopping with the girls and join in with girl time when I can but I am soo not a party animal. I agree with Christine Eryn when she mentioned being more comfortable when people identify you as female. It is such an emotional boost.
hormone changes 95%
The changes have been dramatic since begining transition at 19 and even though no-one really ever identifies me as male, I still pick myself appart. I still wish that my hips/butt were bigger ect.
hair 50%
As girly my hair looks, it's about half as long as I want it.
wardrobe replacement 100%
There is only a few male clothes welcome in my collection and they are cute and they are jumpers.
future employment 70%
I am currently unemployed but it is nothing I can't handle. I have a diploma of childrens services and there is plenty of work around when I feel ready to re-enter the work force. I can always do casual childcare work.
Quote from: galaxy on August 29, 2014, 03:07:15 PM
Self-acceptance 10%
Self-esteem 50%
Coming out 100%
Hair removal 50%
Voice training 50%
Socialisation as female 30%
Hormone changes 10%
Hair 10%
Wardrobe replacement 80%
Future employment prospects 90%
Average: 48% ???
Today, 30month hormones, breast augmentation
Self-acceptance 30%After reaching around 60kg and breast surgery its better
Self-esteem 60%Coming out 100%Hair removal 40%Got more testo with the injections ... more facial hair, more body hair :-\
Voice training 50%Socialisation as female 70%Hormone changes 10%Still no major changes since over 2 years.
Hair 0%Growth stopped at 25cm (around 10inch)
Wardrobe replacement 100%Future employment prospects 90%Average: 55%
So, its a bit better ... give me another few years, its a long way to myself
Joan, what a seriously cool thread. I wish it were more active as I just stumbled upon it searching for something rather unrelated. If this filled up, it could be compiled as a super-useful snapshot of various transfolks voices. Anyway, for posterity, here's mine:
Self-acceptance: 90% - Since overcoming the internalized transphobia and confronting my condition head on, I've been a staunch ally to myself for the first time in my life. It's amazing being on your own side for a change. When I first made the decision, it was a last resort before ending it all but it has become far more than just a life saver. I actually like me now. A lot.
Coming out: 80% - Technically, I could put this as 100% but I really don't know who I'm out to and who I'm not. My wife pretty much made the announcement right after I cut off all social media and contact methods to the dead me and created a fresh start. Most of my extended family is not in her social realm so I honestly don't know if they know. I imagine one or two must have caught word of it and then spread it around but, I'm not sure. I live totally openly now and "present" full-time (still not that obvious, though). My father might not know even though I was totally myself when I saw him last... I guess that's a consequence of always looking a bit "alternative" while growing up and perhaps he just thinks it's my style now. In any case, I'm not in any sort of closet and I let whoever finds out find out.
Hair removal: 50% - Super stubborn upper lip and not totally clear anywhere on my face but almost to a point where I can hide my shadow after six laser sessions. I have one more coming up and then I will move on to electrolysis. My body hair is a different story. I'm not stressing about it yet until I see what HRT has in store for me in that department. Already, it seems to grow back slower now after I wax and it is definitely softer but that could also just be wishful thinking.
Voice training: 5% - The only reason I even get a 5% is because I acknowledge that it is a problem. I've always had a deep voice. I mean deeeep. When I sing, I often sound like David Gahn from Depeche Mode or Peter Steel from Type O Negative. That's a difficult place to start. I practice when I get a chance but I can not bring myself to do it in front of anybody other than my six-year-old and she's always encouraging. I'm at the stage now that I can get the pitch and I've sort of figured out the "pinch" thing but I'm still hoping I get that magical moment so many somehow experience where it just "clicks" into the proper voice. This might be the part of transition I'm least optimistic about.
Socialization as female: 100% - This is difficult for me to answer. I've always had female friends and I socialize with them the same way my wife socializes with her female friends. I think this question is only difficult when trying to socialize with the average crowd which I never really encounter. Nor want to. I'm happy with the way I socialize as a human.
Hormone changes: 99% - I've only been on for about 4 1/2 months but the changes are there. Mostly, it's how my brain and body seems to finally recognize each other. My general dysphoria went from a 10 to a 3 in about two weeks after starting. The only reason I didn't say 100% is because my physical changes are minimal so far. I seem to be getting some neat shapes and a bit of breast growth along with slower body hair and pretty skin but all of that pales in comparison to what it has done for my inner-being. If society wasn't so hung up on the gender binary, I'd probably be content with HRT alone (with SRS down the road).
Hair: 100% - Had super long and thick hair when I started and it's only gotten shorter from there. I absolutely love my new hair style. This is one area of my transition I have no worries about.
Wardrobe replacement: 80% - Boy clothes finally all donated or sold. My wife and I can fit into pretty much all of the same clothing so my wardrobe seriously grew when I went "full-time". We don't share the exact same style so there are quite a few outfits I need to assemble as I go but, overall, I lucked out here.
Future employment prospects: 80% - I'm currently a student and freelance web designer. Beyond that, my wife and I have a business we plan to grow. If I ever did have to get an actual job again, I don't see my gender status as a huge obstacle in the sort of jobs I would be applying for. It would narrow the field down a bit for me but not eliminate it.
Overall? I'm nowhere near "complete" but I'm content and that's good enough for now. I know I don't "pass" but that goal is becoming less and less important as my general happiness grows. I may end up with FFS someday or I may not need or want it. It is difficult for me to predict now and my outlook of my future is drastically different than it was a year ago. That is a wonderful thing to be able to say.
I'll shoot
I've already accepted myself it took a lot of wasted time. Socially I'm nowhere near going full time yet. I wish I was closer. My job is secure I've been there going on my second year. I've had my hair since high school. Hair removal sucks. I financed laser on my face during a sale I pay on it monthly. I'm 2 sessions in third one is in 2 weeks. I still need to do full upper and lower body but I'm not even close to saving enough for it. The worst part is not being able to get to save for ffs, bbl, and breast implants. My rental assistance took one look at my recent pay stubs and jacked up my out of pocket expenses on top of having to pay for health insurance that won't cover the injections my old one did. At 32 I'm sick of this slow transition mentally emotionally and physically. I want it to be over so I can focus on other things besides this.
I love the OP's outline format so I'll use it, too.
I've been in transition MTF for 2 years and am looking at taking that big, big confirming step to reconstruct my genitals next month. Still, there's a ways to go in several areas.
Self-acceptance 100%
I accept myself completely. It took most of my life to come to that point, but I'm finally being honest with myself.
Coming out 100%
Everyone who cares knows. I have been living full-time as a woman for over a year now.
Hair removal 90%
I have undergone 140 hours of electrolysis since Nov of '14. That's 12 complete clearings of my face and neck. I estimate that another 40 hours will be needed to totally eliminate ever having to shave my face. I still have some unwanted body hair, but I'll wait another year before paying to have it removed.
Voice training 75%
My voice was never very deep, but it still gives me away at times. I keep working on it everyday. Eventually, it will become automatic. Much of it is learning how to speak as females do. Pitch is okay.
Socialization as female 90%
I still have a little work to do here, but I'm much more comfortable around people than I ever was as a man. I like to get out and feel the joy of being a woman. I feel self-secure and confident. I recently attended my high school class reunion. Most people (women mostly) accepted me without reservation. The guys were rather restrained.
Hormone changes 75%
That's just a guess, or a hope. I've been on T-blockers and estrogen for 2 years. The changes are substantial except for fat redistribution. My breasts have developed naturally well beyond expectations and continue to grow so I don't plan to have BA if I can reach a C-cup.
Hair 50%
I had significant MPB at the time I began my transition. I've had one hair transplant already and will have another in just a couple of days which will establish a feminine hairline. My hair will never be thick and beautiful, however, so wigs will still play a role in my life.
Wardrobe replacement 100%
I have no male clothes any longer, and I wouldn't wear them if I did.
Future employment prospects 0%
I hope that my work life is permanently behind me.
Overall I feel very good about my transition. A big factor is that my spouse is staying with me. I know, I'm very lucky that way. :)
I figured I was due for an update.
Self-acceptance 80%
I cry when I think I can never carry a child of have normal female or any reproductive function ever again once I go through SRS. This makes me feel less real than I am.
Other than that I'm fine. I may opt for some FFS and body contouring but I'm letting the hormones work for now.
Coming out 99%
Nearly everyone knows and I am not really hiding it. But there are one or two people I just won't be able to tell.
Hair removal 80%
Laser is awesome. I've been smooth for over a month with just some small patches.
Voice training 100%
I've had surgery and my voice is read as female 100% of the time. Mission accomplished.
Socialisation as female 90%
Getting into the groove. The women I hang with LOVE me. My friends love the new me too. I'm a fun gal to be around and I'm good company. Hanging out with guys not so much. It's kinda boring and some guys hit on me sometimes. The conundrum with hanging out with guys is they will either not be open with you and walk on eggshells because you're a girl or they will be open with you because they view you as a dude.
Hormone changes ???60%
My face and body shape are constantly improving but I have far to go. Boobs are almost C cup. Hoping I will be a firm C or small D.
Hair 50%
My hair is shoulder length and it looks like a woman's hair but want long hair.
Wardrobe replacement 90%
I just have to donate my old clothes.
Future employment prospects 90%
I'm stable in my current job but I could find another if I wanted to very easily. I've interviewed to test the waters and they like my personality very much. I'm very personable. I also am very good at what I do. But at the back of my mind I always think I'm never good enough. This is independent of transition though.
I posted in this thread about a year ago, so I think it's time for an update...
Self-acceptance 99->100%
Whatever lingering doubts I had have all but disappeared. I've been full time for over a year, and going back now is not something that even crosses my mind.
Coming out 100->101%?
In my last post I said I was 100% on this, but there were a few important people I left out. More people know now then the last time I posted, and I guess there are a few people who still don't know who I might considering getting back in touch with at some point. Maybe the best way to put it is, that my being transgender is not even remotely a secret, and anyone who cared to find out about it would be able to do so.
Hair removal 5->33%
Definitely made some progress here. :) My facial hair is on it's way out, and I've made some significant progress on my arms/legs/feet/hands. 33% may even be an underestimate, but there are several areas on my body I haven't even started to work on yet that may be difficult to deal with depending on how much they respond to laser.
Voice training 50->95%
I'm very confident with my voice now and it's very passable. The main issue now is deciding whether I want to have voice surgery to try for a completely effortless voice in the female range, or learn to live with the shortcomings my current voice still has.
Socialization as female 5->50%
I'm comfortable socializing as a woman, but I haven't made a lot of new friends since transitioning. Making new friends has always been hard for me, so that's something I still need to work on. But even so, I'm way more comfortable in social situations than I ever was as a male.
Hormone changes 25->90%
My face seems to look more passable than it did last year, though I couldn't in a million years tell you what changed. ;) There are still some structural issues that I think need to be dealt with by having FFS for me to be completely happy with my appearance, but that hasn't stopped me from passing or anything. My body is still pretty big, but I have had some additional breast development and fat redistribution which has made a lot of difference. But, I still have way too much stomach fat, not enough hip fat, and my breasts are only barely large enough to not seem weirdly small for someone my size. I'm fairly certain hormones have done most of what they're going to for my appearance by now, so I'll probably end up eventually having some fat transfer done as well. I'm hoping I can do it for my breasts too, because I really dislike the idea of implants, and I don't need or want huge breasts. Just a C cup would be nice. ;)
Hair 50->90%
I usually don't do anything to special with my hair, but I keep it looking nice most of the time. I had my hair cut with bangs last year, which proved to be a mistake... Keeping them looking neat was just too much of a pain to deal with (especially for someone who never got their hair cut more than once ever six months), so I've been growing them out again. I will probably be able to get my hair cut back to even length at my next appointment... in six months or so. ;) My temples have gotten maybe a little better over the past year, but they still make my hairline look more masculine. I don't ever tie my hair back in a way that would leave my forehead uncovered, because it just looks really bad to me. I'm now thinking hairline advancement is the way to go to correct this, so that's another reason I'll be looking into FFS at some point in the not too distant future.
Wardrobe replacement 5->75%
All of my clothes are proper women's clothes now, but I'm still very heavily into wearing jean/t-shirt or jean/sweater outfits. I'll probably try to buy a few dresses in the spring when I have a little more money to spend...
Future employment prospects 0->99%
This is not really how I wanted to get my first job, but it's looking very likely I am going to start working as a Personal Care Assistant for my dad within the next month or so. He was diagnosed with Alzheimer's Disease earlier this year, and so he needs someone to keep an eye on him, make sure he's eating and drinking enough, help him exercise, drive him to places he needs to go, etc., and my mom is too busy working to do it herself. It was either hire me, or bring someone else in to do it, and even though my parents and I have had our disagreements over the past few years, thankfully they also recognized how badly I needed this...
So yea, a lot of big numbers on the chart this time. :) I'm feeling about as good about the future right now as I can ever remember feeling.
Ooh, ooh... can I play???
Not going to do individual fields because even cis-gender people feel this and that about themselves aren't perfect.
With that said, I live full-time and never get mis-gendered so yeah... I beat the last boss on level 9. I still need to go back through some levels and pick up some missing power-ups and bonus stars to get 100% achievements though.
Total Score: 83.9% on Medium Difficulty (Age 37)
Found this old thread and loved reading it through so thought I'd add to it and see if any of you ladies had any updates..... Im sure there are more than me who'd love to read them......for my own part......I'm just starting out on transition after 58 years so I'm almost 0% on everything ️but finally beginning to realize who I am and making the first moves to be me!! I cannot wait to be able to post an update as I move forward.
Let's hear how you're all doing......
Hugs
D
xo
I'll bite. My transition is happening sooooo much faster than I expected. I swing wildly between wth am I doing and I want this more than anything. I feel like I'm on a wild ride and I'm hanging on. I see a doctor about hormones on May 6, and could be on hormones soon after that. My plan at this year is to be out by the end of 2017. It's terrifying...but wonderful at the same time. I guess I'd rate myself somewhere in the middle at this point.
Quote from: galaxy on June 16, 2015, 04:21:25 PM
Today, 30month hormones, breast augmentation
Self-acceptance 30%
After reaching around 60kg and breast surgery its better
Self-esteem 60%
Coming out 100%
Hair removal 40%
Got more testo with the injections ... more facial hair, more body hair :-\
Voice training 50%
Socialisation as female 70%
Hormone changes 10%
Still no major changes since over 2 years.
Hair 0%
Growth stopped at 25cm (around 10inch)
Wardrobe replacement 100%
Future employment prospects 90%
Average: 55%
So, its a bit better ... give me another few years, its a long way to myself
Self-acceptance 0%After 3 failed surgeries and failed HRT. No.
Self-esteem 30%Coming out 100%Hair removal 40%No progress.
Voice training 50%Socialisation as female 70%Hormone changes 10%Still no major changes since over 3 years.
Hair 0%Growth stopped at 25cm (around 10inch)
Wardrobe replacement 100%Future employment prospects 90%Average: 49%
Failed.
Oh this thread is alive again! I'll give it a shot..
Self-acceptance 80-90%
Doing well on this front. I've fully accepted that I'm a woman, I'm just struggling on a few doubts that make me wonder if what I'm doing will work out.
Coming out 100%
Fully out to everyone I know, and also legally. Pushed this step pretty fast and it was worth the initial struggle.
Hair removal 10%
Nothing done physically yet, but I have been looking into deals on places such as Groupon to hopefully start laser in a few months.
Voice training 20%
Doing some self training when I can. I'm getting pretty good at varying pitch during talk but a lot more to work on.
Socialisation as female 50%
I'm slowly getting into the hang of this. At first it was very awkward but I actually feel a lot more at ease and social than I did before coming out.
Hormone changes 30%
Have had a good start so far. Skin is softer, my body shape has started to change and my boobs are now starting to develop quite fast. They are having a good effect mentally as well, my emotions feel more free (although a month ago I had some very crazy mood swings, seems to be settling now)
Hair 70%
Growing it out at the moment, but it is a good length and I've gotten a good care/styling routine down already. (Going past shoulders right now, I'm aiming for boob height)
Wardrobe replacement 80%
All my old clothes are gone! Only have female stuff now, and I'm still collecting new things from time to time. This will never reach 100% though.
Future employment prospects 30%
I'm currently volunteering at a few places, to boost my chances of getting into paid work. It seems to be helping my confidence so this is definitely progress for me.
Average: 53%
as japanes girl i feel great
i am hrt 36 week
23 years
i am still looking for a first name that near my own -toshihiko- right now i an toshi
Quote from: toshi on April 16, 2016, 02:47:08 PM
as japanes girl i feel great
i am hrt 36 week
23 years
i am still looking for a first name that near my own -toshihiko- right now i an toshi
toshi,
It's great to hear you are doing so well.
I wanted to welcome you and share some links all members should receive when they first post. The have welcome information and rule of the site. Please take a moment to read through them if you have not done so yet:
Things that you should read
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Reputation rules (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,18960.0.html) | News posting & quoting guidelines (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,174951.0.html) | Photo, avatars, & signature images policy (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,59974.msg383866.html#msg383866) |
Once again, welcome to Susans. I hope you find what you are looking for.
With warmth,
Joanna
So it's been two years and four months since I made my first post in this topic. That means 2yrs and 8mths on HRT.
I am still presenting male 99% of the time. I have a full-time job at the same time as being a full-time student so barely have time to go out anyway. I'm comfortable being female in my mind as I pass the days and I've given up hiding behind stereotypical male behaviour. I guess in that sense I've reached a workable equilibrium.
One thing I've noticed as the hormones have taken effect is that I've been losing male privilege. Not being one of the boys, and spending more time with women has certainly made my position at work less strong.
Anyway, for what it's worth, this is how I score now.
.
Self-acceptance 90%
I still have the wt* am I doing moments, but I know who I am and am comfortable enough to behave accordingly. Still feel some residual shame at the idea of gettin clocked when I do venture out.
Coming out 5%
I have an understanding SO, I'm out to a few friends and two of my siblings. In other words, not much movement since March 2014.
Hair removal 80%
12 sessions of laser removed a lot of my beard, but there are still a few of the pesky things there. A close shave and some concealer can cover it.
Voice training 90%
I didn't really train it, but I have a voice that works as female now. A bit deep, but good enough to convince shop assistants that I'm not a man.
Socialisation as female 20%
There are still lots of experiences I've never had as a woman. I could only get those through RLE. I'm looking forward to the challenge some day.
Hormone changes 70%
Size 36D bra, a noticeable waist and no hip development. Thighs are bigger and I've lost a LOT of muscle mass from my back and arms. With a bit of padding in the deficient areas I have a pretty decent figure for 47.
My face has really softened, far less angular I think, and fuller in the cheeks. I can look in the mirror and see myself as physically female some of the time.
Hair 20%
3 weeks ago I finally gave up growing out my hair. My hair has receded too much and it's not coming back. I have a good wig which is fairly convincing.
Wardrobe replacement 50%
i have too many mistakes that I will never wear, but I'm slowly developing a sense of style of my own, and clothes for a range of situations. I'm not sure I would have enough to go full time.
Future employment prospects 10%
I dIsn't intend to transition in my current job, but I'm considering that option now. I came out to my boss a couple of weeks ago, and while not exactly positive, it was far from negative. I wouldn't expect to get fired, and it would be a good springboard to jump off somewhere else.
So, that's where I am: lots of progress and no progress.
What I really want to do is go full time.
Lets see
Self-acceptance 95% Overall I'm much more in touch with myself and comfortable. Still working out a few issues and may always be, but I'm happy with myself.
Coming out 100% Been fully out and open for most of this year.
Hair removal 50% 9 Laser sessions on my face so far, maybe 1-3 to go and some electrolysis to finish up removal of remaining facial hair. I still have a bunch of problem body hair but am currently content to let hormones do their thing till the 2 year mark, so far I've had a noticeable decrease in body hair after a year on HRT. I'll likely re-evaluate further body hair removal in another year. Until then traditional methods of removal work, like epilation and shaving.
.
Voice training 0% & OK with that It bugs me but honestly I don't really care, my voice isn't to bad overall and I've a limited range anyway. I'm more interested in doing what feels comfortable for me than trying to force myself with voice training, it's just not for me.
Socialization as female 50% It's slow but it feels more and more natural as time goes on.
Hormone changes 85% Shot in the dark here, if I had no more changes I'd still be happy but here's to hoping for some more down the road in my second year.
Hair 80% I was stubborn, I refused to get a wig or extensions after coming out. I took the long and slow route to my current long hair (finally down to the top of my shoulders after 18 months). I'm pretty happy with the style I've got now but there's always some room to experiment or grow it out a bit longer.
Wardrobe replacement 65% I've ditched most of my old clothes, now it's just the slow process of trial and error to find my own style.
Future employment prospects 99% I transitioned on the job through a temporary staffing agency earlier in the year. Since then I've found full time employment presenting as myself and am quite happy where I am for now. I'm still minimally concerned about future prospects but overall optimistic.
Quote from: galaxy on April 16, 2016, 09:14:06 AM
Self-acceptance 0%
After 3 failed surgeries and failed HRT. No.
Self-esteem 30%
Coming out 100%
Hair removal 40%
No progress.
Voice training 50%
Socialisation as female 70%
Hormone changes 10%
Still no major changes since over 3 years.
Hair 0%
Growth stopped at 25cm (around 10inch)
Wardrobe replacement 100%
Future employment prospects 90%
Average: 49%
Failed.
Self-acceptance 0% I hate myself.
Self-esteem 0%Coming out 100%Hair removal 40%No progress.
Voice training 50%Socialisation as female 70%Hormone changes -20%PostOP i got virilization.
Hair -30%Massive hairloss after SRS
Wardrobe replacement 100%Future employment prospects 40%Ive still lot of problems caused by SRS.
No comment.
Self-acceptance 0%
I can't wait until there is a cure.
Self-esteem 0%
Nobody likes me so my self esteem is low. It's a perpetuating cycle at this point.
Coming out 100% or 0%
Not sure which it is but I'm not going to be telling people.
Hair removal 80%
This has actually progressed nicely. I just need a few sessions of electro for the stragglers.
Voice training 0%
I want surgery instead. Just relying on the ability to to change my voice isn't enough when it's still the same voice.
Socialisation as female 0%
IMHO you can never really experience this unless those socializing with you are unaware. People treat transgender people as the wrong sex intentionally or do it accidentally by constantly reminding you how brave you are or overcompensating with rainbow unicorn tea parties.
Hormone changes 15%
Cone shaped boobs with nothing else. My shoulder to hip ratio is still outta wack. Fun.
Hair 95%
Luckily I've never had thinning. My hair is about shoulder blade length. I have been filling in my M with Rogaine and yes, it does work contrary to what the manufacturer may say.
Wardrobe replacement 5%
I have 2-3 active wear outfits.
Future employment prospects 0%
Near future anyway. I'm the most unhirable person in history so I've given up.
Girls I am so happy for you. Hugs Shannon
Self-acceptance 20%
This scares the hell out of me. I've always had a very hard time with my whole person. I hate everything I am physically, and I don't love myself as a human being. And transitioning does not do miracles.
Self-esteem 10%
My self-esteem is built only on what I do best.
For everything else, I know I am garbage.
Coming out 70%
Most people that matter know.
Hair removal 30%
__.
Voice training 50%
I can but I don't. I am not fulltime anymore for now.
Socialization as female 5%
I was fulltime for 3 months then went back because I felt it did not work out for me.
Hormone changes 100%
Cannot expect more.
Hair 0%
I'm doomed in this department. At least I cannot think otherwise.
Wardrobe replacement 10%
__.
Future employment prospects --- ?
This may seem funny since I'm 25 years post-op, but working in a very demanding career and having kids around I left a couple of things unaddressed in my life. I left a couple of small things unaddressed because I got on well enough. Now in my life I have a little more time and I've decided to do something about it.
Self-acceptance 100%
I know who I am and love the person that I am. I have some physical things that I've decided to address, but I don't think that this means that I don't accept myself.
Coming out 100%
Came out 26 years ago.
Hair removal 90%
After being "done" for about 24 years with electrolysis, I'm going back to finish off some hair that was left over with some laser.
Voice training 90%
People that have heard my voice in videos say it's quite good. I still like to work on it and improve it.
Socialisation as female 90%
I do get invited to parties and I do attend them. I'm still a bit introverted. I have female friends.
Hormone changes 100%
26 years....
Hair 80%
I'm going to get hair transplants next month to cover the receded areas over my temples along with FFS.
Wardrobe replacement 100%
Haven't worn men's clothes in 26 years.... Wouldn't touch 'em.
Future employment prospects 100%
Doing fine.
Other 50%
Getting FFS in 25 days! Not even sure how to give this a percentage.