What if the changes you are seeing are pointing overwhelmingly in one direction? That (as conceited and subjective as it sounds) you really actually may become beautiful? "I'd take it! Why even think twice about it???" you say? Well you see...
... I'm not sure how to reconcile being beautiful with the andro-masculine personality that's already me.
Wouldn't it be the most insane paradox to transition into a beautiful gal with all of its benefits, only to feel more like a man?
Ah, first world problems. :P
I admit, I share that fear from time to time, but I have little to worry about.
I blended in as a guy. Now I get noticed as trans.
I hope to blend in as a woman, not to get noticed even more.
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Foi57.tinypic.com%2Fdmxkip.jpg&hash=a557c2f3108ad96868da6b4a3fe2ec57db6efeb6) oh gawd.
The reality:
I can look average as a 5'5" (not tall) guy - yet women prefer height, other options.
I can look good as a 5'5" (not tall) andro guy - bit better charisma, appeal to women who like the softer types
Become very attractive as a 5'5" (average height) gal - attractive only to maybe, lesbians (never mind men, not going there)
If I had the ability to pick one. Which one would offer the better quality of life overall.
See the conundrum?
If only there where more openly available lipstick lesbians in this world. Because I'm a girl luv'r true and through. Maybe the answer would be easier...
Quote from: Evelyn K on April 15, 2014, 08:29:16 PM
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Foi57.tinypic.com%2Fdmxkip.jpg&hash=a557c2f3108ad96868da6b4a3fe2ec57db6efeb6) oh gawd.
The reality:
I can look average as a 5'5" (not tall) guy - yet women prefer height, other options.
I can look good as a 5'5" (not tall) andro guy - bit better charisma, appeal to women who like the softer types
Become very attractive as a 5'5" (average height) gal - attractive only to maybe, lesbians (never mind men, not going there)
If I had the ability to pick one. Which one would offer the better quality of life overall.
See the conundrum?
If only there where more openly available lipstick lesbians in this world. Because I'm a girl luv'r true and through. Maybe the answer would be easier...
Are you on hormones yet?
7 weeks
I have not had trouble meeting lipstick lesbians... but I am married so that is probably why. Heh...
Perhaps volunteer in the box office or lobby of a local burlesque show. Many burlesque artists have an adventurous side, and they also have circles of friends.
I'm not sure what height has to do with it???
"Tall, Dark and Handsome" that's what CIS women want, 5'8" at the minimum.
Know what I mean?
I know what you mean. I'm 5'8" which is on the short side for guys, and when I was trying to blend in as a guy I was always a bit envious of taller guys. But for a girl I'm relatively tall, but still not tall enough that it impedes blending in as a woman.
Yeah, people, even Evelyn K has her own issues and dysphorias, I have insecurities too. I'm not perfect either...
Quote from: katiej on April 15, 2014, 11:23:10 PM
I know what you mean. I'm 5'8" which is on the short side for guys, and when I was trying to blend in as a guy I was always a bit envious of taller guys. But for a girl I'm relatively tall, but still not tall enough that it impedes blending in as a woman.
I'm also 5'8" and I have the same issue. On the shorter side for a dude and a wee bit taller than average for a female. Since I wear heels and wedges all of the time that makes it a little bit worse. I think that people tend to notice me when I'm out and about because of that.
We all have body issues.
That you are too short to be a, "Man" is delightfully new to me.
We ALL have them.
As a guy, as far as I can tell, I was "tall, fair and whatever". I just wasn't that interesting to cis women, surprise surprise, it was because they were interested in cis guys. My height was no magic pass to attracting women, which never seemed to happen. I never had any manly charisma which seems to be the real secret ingredient.
As a woman it would seem I'm "tall, red and (apparently) attractive". But being tall puts most guys off, many just can't see themselves with a woman that's taller than themselves. (A lament I've heard from a few tall women.) That's fine, don't see myself with guys anyway... but I really do find myself noticing the few guys who are taller than me! Don't know what lesbian women feel about tall chicks. Hopefully it has more to do with how we click than relative height and beauty.
Female attractiveness has a lot of perks, whether you use it to attract men or not. But one thing about it is that it's easy to make it go away more or less. So many women use so many products to make themselves beautiful that if you just don't wear makeup and wear baggy clothes people are much less likely to notice you. Lots of pretty cis women do this all the time.
I'm 5'6" and it's a great height. Taller than average but not too tall.
There's a refrain from one of my favorite Elvis Costello songs that runs through my head when a man finds me attractive but doesn't really want to date when finding out I'm a transsexual: "What shall we do? What shall we do / With all this useless beauty?" (I'm taking the lines out of the song's context). I wonder if most women (cis or trans) whom others consider attractive find that beauty exceeds its usefulness in so many ways.
Quote from: mandonlym on April 16, 2014, 04:46:11 AM
Female attractiveness has a lot of perks, whether you use it to attract men or not. But one thing about it is that it's easy to make it go away more or less. So many women use so many products to make themselves beautiful that if you just don't wear makeup and wear baggy clothes people are much less likely to notice you. Lots of pretty cis women do this all the time.
This rings true to me. Most "beautiful"men Tom Cruise, Orlando Bloom, Johonny Depp, etc. are very "pretty" with more than a little bit feminine aspect.
As I have gotten "prettier" (thinner, longer hair, fairer skin, etc.) I have found that I've caught the eye of cis women more often (and i think it wasn't because they were staring at a freak, lol). As well as gay men, but I've always had that problem no matter what I looked like (i have a gaydar transponder apparently)...
I'd say don't worry about it. Be internally motivated. Do what makes you feel better, not what effects others. If that makes you more "attractive", try not to let it go to your head.
Welcome in my world.
I'm a hot chick and I'm polygender, not even binary identified. But sometimes it's funny to be such an attractive woman and exert a certain level of masculinity. Really messes with people's mind.
LOL... Just my two cents for what is worth... I think it comes down to that saying that "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder" It is really what is on the inside that really counts. Me, I will be happy just to be a happy o'l lady. If beauty comes along with it that's cool, but I am the one that has to look in the mirror and as long as I am happy with what I see, I'm good with that.
Quote from: Eva Marie on April 16, 2014, 12:45:17 AM
I'm also 5'8" and I have the same issue. On the shorter side for a dude and a wee bit taller than average for a female. Since I wear heels and wedges all of the time that makes it a little bit worse. I think that people tend to notice me when I'm out and about because of that.
How tall are your heels? I tend to wear shorter heels, and I'm still shorter than most guys. 2-3" gives the look, but I'm still under 6' tall.
Kate, I don't wear heels or womenly clothes. I'm still andro.
This is the kind of stuff I wear in professional mode (except the accessories, maybe a thin charmed chain).
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Foi59.tinypic.com%2Fm8o5co.jpg&hash=013d731e5e9af368a289260e341090d763926e77)
Quote from: katiej on April 17, 2014, 09:35:03 PM
How tall are your heels? I tend to wear shorter heels, and I'm still shorter than most guys. 2-3" gives the look, but I'm still under 6' tall.
I have wedges and heels that are 4" and those are the ones I'm talking about. I also have some 3" wedges that I wear all of the time, and I just bought some cute sparkly 2" heels for dressing formal that I wore tonight. It's the 4" ones where I seem to really notice a difference..... but I like the look of them and I like how they make me feel when I wear them :laugh:
It's odd that I was teased growing up for being tall, blond and skinny, but as a girl it ends up being a big bonus...go figure :/
Overall I feel much better about myself than I used to as time goes by, perhaps that's because I finally have the chance to be "ME" instead of the role of "guy" all those years
I'm 6'2" and I tower over most guys that I see even in shoes with no heels at all. With heels I'm a walking hazard simply because I have to bend over to fit under a lot of over hanging objects that I barely passed under before. Sitting down I'm okay, I actually look normal or even a little short because my torso is so short. Most girls are either right at or a little above eye level for me while sitting.
Kate I'm from the USA. Average male height here is 5'10" and average female is 5'5". We do have short guys and tall girls but they aren't that common. A lot of guys joke about liking tall girls here but then they meet them up close and chicken out. Which is sad because all of the tall women I have met have been really cool. And to clarify, in my experience as a guy, a girl was tall if she was 5'9" or taller and a guy was short if he was 5'8" or shorter. Just something about looking up or at eye level to other guys and looking down at girls when speaking to them had set in as the norm.
I'm 5'11". Fortunately at my workplace I don't really stand out - there's a lot of tall folks, including hundreds of women within a few inches of me - but it's still disconcerting seeing women who look half my size and feeling like an overgrown beanpole.
The hell is this derail about height for?! Has nothing to do with the OP...
Even though i'm somewhat androgyne with feminine traits (more often I'm feminine but I can be masculine in how I act) I get that typical "male gaze" at college when I walk arround there. Must say I don't really mind being attractive. I'm 6' (without heels as I mostly wear Converse shoes), but I must say alot of the guys and girls are tall where I currently live (I often see men and women who are of the same heigth or taller than me, I live in the north of the Netherlands).
I'm sure there are women that like a more masculine woman. I know a transman who first was a masculine women (I wonder why he first was a masculine woman hahaha), he also gotten girlfriends back then so it's definitely possible. Maybe you will more luck with find finding a feminine woman than a feminine woman would (I really have no clue about the lesbian scene so don't take anything what I say as the right anwser).
Quote from: Christine167 on April 18, 2014, 06:33:56 AM
I'm 6'2" and I tower over most guys that I see even in shoes with no heels at all. With heels I'm a walking hazard simply because I have to bend over to fit under a lot of over hanging objects that I barely passed under before. Sitting down I'm okay, I actually look normal or even a little short because my torso is so short. Most girls are either right at or a little above eye level for me while sitting.
Short torso means 6'2" woman with long legs..... wheeee!!!
I'm thin, and 5-5 without heels. Though I'm average height for a woman I too have a short torso and long legs. To address the OP, as my hrt progresses I see more of my biological Mom in me with regard to how attractive I'm becoming (not quite there yet, lol!) and my biological Mom was quite attractive and I definitely have her body. I already attract unwanted attention when I wear shorts or a short skirt but I know that's just the legs. Due to my age (49) though I don't feel I'll ever become overly attractive. I just want to be an average girl and blend in. However if I do become attractive I'll deal with it when it happens. Right now I'm happy with how I'm progressing and the changes so far and for the moment I don't want to spoil my happy mood worrying about something that may, or may not happen. Make sense?
Ally :icon_flower:
Kate, I'm in the US, where 5'8" is borderline short for a man and borderline tall for a woman. So I'm pretty happy with my height now.
Quote from: Allyda on April 18, 2014, 11:46:13 AM
Due to my age (49) though I don't feel I'll ever become overly attractive. I just want to be an average girl and blend in. However if I do become attractive I'll deal with it when it happens. Right now I'm happy with how I'm progressing and the changes so far and for the moment I don't want to spoil my happy mood worrying about something that may, or may not happen. Make sense?
IMO attractiveness is really tied to age. The older I get (37), the more I find older women attractive. I especially appreciate a woman who dresses well for her age. I do feel like I missed out on female adolescence, but I'm really looking forward to being the attractive, classy older woman.
Youthful beauty is natural and you have what you have. But age tends to even the playing field. As women age and lose the natural beauty, then things like hair, makeup, fashion, and how they carry themselves become much more important.
Last week I went to a movie with a friend, and there was a scene with a mother and daughter. I leaned over to my friend and said, "I can tell I'm getting older. Cause that mom is hot." It was Ashley Judd...but still.
Quote from: katiej on April 18, 2014, 03:19:59 PM
Last week I went to a movie with a friend, and there was a scene with a mother and daughter. I leaned over to my friend and said, "I can tell I'm getting older. Cause that mom is hot." It was Ashley Judd...but still.
Hey I agree with you Katie, Ashley Judd is hot!! :icon_flower:
Why fear it, embrace it!
I'm about 6ft1 tall (185cm) and it turns out fairly attractive as a female which really freaked me out at first but give it a while and you will start enjoying it, you get noticed immediately and admired from afar, a lot of guys will be to intimidated to approach you but who cares.
If any of you ever feel you are tall and can't blend in just take a trip to Holland, I felt small in Holland!
There's pros and cons with being an attractive female. The biggest pro is probably the way guys will do anything for you, or at least will never be rude to you. The biggest con is how much you have to watch your back when you're by yourself.
Quote from: Seyranna on April 18, 2014, 08:15:17 AM
The hell is this derail about height for?! Has nothing to do with the OP...
I don't get it either.
Omg it's alaina! c:
omg ri ri? lol
:c sorry I'm derailin'
no apologies. she's a rockstar around these parts. she just brought my thread some major views! ;D
She can teach you all about being really attractive. Omg look at her gorgeous hair. Prettier than ever.
Aww... y'all are too sweet. Thanks :)
{{{heart goes pitter patter}}}}
He he... so if we're talking about height vs attractiveness, I have a tiny suspicion that personality might just contribute a little here as well... :D I was a 5'4" male (on a good day, with a tailwind), and I had long term partners of both genders of my height and up to 5'10", and they certainly didn't stick around because I was a hunk!
However, one of the truly wonderful things about being a girl of my height is that I can FINALLY get clothes that fit me right off the peg - it's sooo cool to say "I'm a size 36" and it just all fits! Finally!
Of course, a few more inches of leg would be cool, but we can't all have waspy genes :)
BTW just putting this here...
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Foi58.tinypic.com%2F2mwvxp5.jpg&hash=a1b174e60b8a9dc3df284698de16749ebb291350)
As far as androgyny goes, if only.... At least I have the same hairstyle. ;D
Being short does help, actually. The narrow hips are much less noticeable if you're short. Also, being petite is a HUGE factor. I wish I could show you a picture of me by one of my trans friends (I wont because it's not respectful to her). She's not big at all (in fact she's 3" taller than me and weighs just as much), but next to her I look tiny. Her shoulders are much more broad, and side by side the picture would be worth a thousand words. The broader girls tend to pack muscle a bit more, too. That really hurts with the cute factor, unfortunately.
Quote from: Evelyn K on April 19, 2014, 02:14:34 AM
BTW just putting this here...
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Foi58.tinypic.com%2F2mwvxp5.jpg&hash=a1b174e60b8a9dc3df284698de16749ebb291350)
As far as androgyny goes, if only.... At least I have the same hairstyle. ;D
Oooh cool! He seems awesome! Totally inspiring to me.
Quote from: Alainaluvsu on April 19, 2014, 02:15:17 AM
Being short does help, actually. The narrow hips are much less noticeable if you're short. Also, being petite is a HUGE factor. I wish I could show you a picture of me by one of my trans friends (I wont because it's not respectful to her). She's not big at all (in fact she's 3" taller than me and weighs just as much), but next to her I look tiny. Her shoulders are much more broad, and side by side the picture would be worth a thousand words. The broader girls tend to pack muscle a bit more, too. That really hurts with the cute factor, unfortunately.
Yeah I can't wait for my upper body mass to melt away. 7 weeks in. I HATE IT.
I really think it depends on bone structure and such, I'm not petite by any measure and thought I was doomed to a life of awkward big but turns out my hips are way wider than my shoulders, my ass is "huge", I've got long limbs and my shoulder-line is very angled. I think it's all about ratios but that's just my personal opinion :)
Quote from: Alainaluvsu on April 19, 2014, 02:15:17 AM
Being short does help, actually. The narrow hips are much less noticeable if you're short. Also, being petite is a HUGE factor. I wish I could show you a picture of me by one of my trans friends (I wont because it's not respectful to her). She's not big at all (in fact she's 3" taller than me and weighs just as much), but next to her I look tiny. Her shoulders are much more broad, and side by side the picture would be worth a thousand words. The broader girls tend to pack muscle a bit more, too. That really hurts with the cute factor, unfortunately.
Well, there are exceptions. But unfortunately western civilization likes narrow women at this time in history. I'm not necessarily narrow by cis standards, but I'm really grateful I'm not stocky...
Not to say you don't fall in line with being attractive though, it's more a generalization with MtFs. As a whole, we have a lot of things to battle against as far as being attractive.
Quote from: Evelyn K on April 19, 2014, 02:20:06 AM
Yeah I can't wait for my upper body mass to melt away. 7 weeks in. I HATE IT.
Oh, bring it on, Evelyn!!! Like yesterday!
Two modest weeks on HRT and summer has arrived with a vengeance here in Madrid and I'm in a bit of a panic. Winter clothing is really good for us transgirls, but until the lats and biceps go away, despite my being really petite, I have to cover myself up.
I'm gonna end up looking like someone's spinster aunt this whole summer - overdressed, hint of a moustache, sipping a risqué tonic water... Waaaaaaaaahhhhh ;D
Muscles take a while. I think the 16 month mark was when I was really starting to lose it.
^^ /me cry's
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Foi59.tinypic.com%2Fff9rx2.jpg&hash=4ce7ef030caa646ebc2750673ecbe1a7e3e11ca3)
Just enjoy the ride :)
She's pretty, but don't mess with her... have ya seen those biceps ;)
Ah well.... patience patience girls...!
Quote from: Alainaluvsu on April 19, 2014, 02:35:57 AM
Muscles take a while. I think the 16 month mark was when I was really starting to lose it.
Ughhh I wish. Nothing seems to get rid of my huge thighs ;o; it's really bad since I gained like 10 lbs, even stretch denim squeezes the dear life out of em. You'd think like, starving yourself for a while would help but noooo.
Ha! I doubt your thighs are muscular. I was eating fast food every day for 8 months and I couldn't fit into some of my jeans either. They'd hang up at my thighs right at my butt. It's not cute but it's not muscles :D
Quote from: sad panda on April 19, 2014, 02:49:48 AM
Ughhh I wish. Nothing seems to get rid of my huge thighs ;o; it's really bad since I gained like 10 lbs, even stretch denim squeezes the dear life out of em. You'd think like, starving yourself for a while would help but noooo.
I've actually thought about that, getting really thin before starting HRT so when the fat buildup begins anew, you'll have the cleanest form to work on.
As far as muscles, well I try to be a vegetable as much as I can. I do feel much more easily fatigued though so kudos to that and knowing they are slowly atrophying. Frequent runs for groceries instead of carrying stuffed heavy bags and the like. Just a little poultry and seafood. Keeping away from zinc, anything with creatine.
Don't stay away from protein. Protein is necessary on so many levels. It helps the hair and skin, and it's essential in cell formation. I have a diet HIGH in protein and I still lost quite a bit of muscle. Drink lots of water too, that helps have really healthy looking skin. STAY OFF SODA!!!! That stuff is evil for us!
Oh ya, I'll eat poultry, fish, pork, eggs sometimes with reckless abandon. But the red meats (creatine) I'll stay away from.
Ok, just makin sure :) Being a vegan going through HRT is probably the last thing you'll wanna do. Your skin and hair will come out awful and your face will look gaunt. That's a big no no for MtFs. I've always said, hair is 60% of passing!
Quote from: Alainaluvsu on April 19, 2014, 02:55:43 AM
Ha! I doubt your thighs are muscular. I was eating fast food every day for 8 months and I couldn't fit into some of my jeans either. They'd hang up at my thighs right at my butt. It's not cute but it's not muscles :D
Ugh yeah. This happens. It's so annoying too. Apparently my thighs are 25" now ;o; they went up four inches since I checked... oh my god... what I get for having short legs.
Is it weird that I love my athletic upper body? I love being strong and athletic. I know I probably have other feminine gender markers that compensate so I'm not as self-conscious about them as others, but just wanna put that out there that I love having badass muscles, especially on my back.
^^ Many fit women really pull off the toned armed look nicely so yeah it shouldn't necessarily be a gender marker. This is CIS BTW
(and oh gawd these ladies are so hawt)
The one on the left
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Foi62.tinypic.com%2F2usa009.jpg&hash=eba44f3d61de8baa66827a6e89c2dabf5133f77b)
I wasn't arguing passability hon, just what many people consider attractive ;)
The girl on the left looks like she could kick my ***!! lol. She's beautiful in other areas though.
Quote from: kate on April 19, 2014, 05:58:09 AM
The body needs Zinc, not just for hormone production (I know what you mean though, lots of people take ZMA or ZMC in bodybuilding). Yeah i've switched over to pork and mostly seafood, but a bit worried about mercury. I've tried running to slim down and tone, and i'm thinking of pilates and yoga as well.
Nice to see you back Alaina, you look very happy in your avatar photo :)
Zinc, calcium, protein, sodium ... things a lot of people wouldn't necessarily associate with femininity are all important on HRT. Our cells are changing, and we need to support them to do so as best we can. Especially vitamin D, calcium, sodium and protein. Never short yourself on vitamins because you think your muscles will atrophy. They'll atrophy healthily over time anyways, because testosterone is necessary for them to be bigger (as it's a growth hormone).
Quote from: Alainaluvsu on April 19, 2014, 03:11:04 AM
Ok, just makin sure :) Being a vegan going through HRT is probably the last thing you'll wanna do. Your skin and hair will come out awful and your face will look gaunt. That's a big no no for MtFs. I've always said, hair is 60% of passing!
This is so true!
My endo wanted to start me on progesterone so I went on a diet to lose some weight first - I knew that I would be gaining weight and I wanted to lose it in the male places and gain it in the female places. I had whittled myself down to 160lbs from about 185lbs and then one day I looked in the mirror and I was shocked! My face looked awful! Gaunt, more wrinkles, etc. I knew that I was at the point that I needed to start putting weight back on. Right now I am eating like a horse and I'm afraid to step on the scales :laugh:
Speaking of losing strength - I've been on a transitioning dose of HRT since Oct 8th. I have lost most of my strength, and my upper arms are finally starting to shrink.
I never had much of an upper body even before hrt. As for my diet, I eat mostly fish, Turkey/Chicken, eggs, in the meat department but stay away from red meat altogether. I will eat lean pork if available and I do drink 32 oz of milk per day. I take a Woman's multi vitamin, a Hair Skin, & Nails vitamin and if I notice my nails breaking I'll add Biotin to that. I have serious allergies when it comes to veggies so in this department I have to be careful. Fruits though I eat what I want, and that seems to maintain me at 5-5 & 117 lb's. Soda's a no no as I saw someone else had posted, and alot of water's a must. While I don't exercise I'm pretty active for my age and chronic pain issues, and do watch my caloric intake which I think goes a long way. 115 is my goal weight though & hopefully I'll be there soon. :icon_flower:
As to the height issue, I'm from Southern California where tall very very very attractive women are common. I myself prefer/date women that are usually taller than I. :)
I'm just over 6' but I notice I'm not the tallest girl in town at all here in my California town, makes me feel much better :)
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi244.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fgg4%2FKR3259%2Fodds%2520n%2520ends%2F075_zpsc762e529.jpg&hash=ce071aee776f3602869b1c919a3d20c4f8f2dd8c)
All I know is that my legs are leaning up nicely and the boob fairy is being generous as growth has been good so far.
Super soft skin now which feels very sensuous.
Long sinuous sexy legs and bouncing boobies.
I should be very afraid. ???
Quote from: Evelyn K on April 15, 2014, 07:41:37 PM
\Wouldn't it be the most insane paradox to transition into a beautiful gal with all of its benefits, only to feel more like a man?
I'm a tomboy haha so manly(ish) is kinda in my character. Beautiful or not will not dictate my personality. Those who say otherwise about me just can't handle all this -gestures in front body- :P
In seriousness though, I am who I am. I'm friends with a girl who is drop-dead gorgeous but she swears like a sailor, rollerderby's like a madwoman and is tatted up. Not a very girly kinda lady. Attitude though counts for a lot.
Quote from: Jenny07 on April 20, 2014, 02:29:39 AM
All I know is that my legs are leaning up nicely and the boob fairy is being generous as growth has been good so far.
Super soft skin now which feels very sensuous.
Long sinuous sexy legs and bouncing boobies.
I should be very afraid. ???
Sounds like you're exactly what the OP was afraid of. :)
Boob fairy -- HAHA!!
Dietwise I'm a vegetarian who cheats and has fish sometimes. I've cut out processed foods from my diet for the most part, which has been the biggest change in the last few months. I'm 5'6", 125 lbs. A fair amount of that is muscle mass from years and years of doing modern dance, yoga, pilates, etc. I really enjoy being athletic.
Quote from: Eva Marie on April 19, 2014, 11:04:39 AM
This is so true!
My endo wanted to start me on progesterone so I went on a diet to lose some weight first - I knew that I would be gaining weight and I wanted to lose it in the male places and gain it in the female places. I had whittled myself down to 160lbs from about 185lbs and then one day I looked in the mirror and I was shocked! My face looked awful! Gaunt, more wrinkles, etc. I knew that I was at the point that I needed to start putting weight back on. Right now I am eating like a horse and I'm afraid to step on the scales :laugh:
Speaking of losing strength - I've been on a transitioning dose of HRT since Oct 8th. I have lost most of my strength, and my upper arms are finally starting to shrink.
I've been on Prometrium for two months and I havent gained any weight. I do feel bloated in my lower abdomen and my upper body is/are like two giant boobs.I havent gained an inch where I wanted to: my hips. I'm still a 32D-27-34. Oh yeah, I weigh 120 lbs give or take a few pounds on any given day and I need to gain weight cause my face will look fuller. I've been on a consitent dose of HRT for seven months. And a lower not-so-consistent dose for six months before that.
I fear the opposite
Quote from: Evelyn K on April 15, 2014, 07:41:37 PM
What if the changes you are seeing are pointing overwhelmingly in one direction? That (as conceited and subjective as it sounds) you really actually may become beautiful? "I'd take it! Why even think twice about it???" you say? Well you see...
... I'm not sure how to reconcile being beautiful with the andro-masculine personality that's already me.
Wouldn't it be the most insane paradox to transition into a beautiful gal with all of its benefits, only to feel more like a man?
Don't worry you've only been on HRT, for what, seven weeks? Not much time at all. Trust me, you will change. Not just physically, but in every way imaginable. Hormones ain't no joke. And, more than this, if you become a beautiful women, and I certainly hope you do, the way you are treated by society at large, men and women will have a massive effect on your personality and there is no way to avoid it. I've always been femme but I feel like transition has really moved me way to the femme side of the masculine-andro-femme continuum.
I have been called a beautiful woman prolly like 10 times this past week. It was a good week and ended with me moaning like a banshee (aww yeah). Anyhoo, the way I'm treated now is just so very different then ever. case in point: I smoke. I know I'm bad. Before, I couldn't get someone to give me a cigerette if my life depended on it, sometimes even if I offered a dollar. Now, I ask guys for a cigarette and I always offer to pay, and not one man hasn't given me one for free and called me some pet name. Mommy is my fave. The other day I ordered a slice and the woman gave me two, "just for you sweetie," she said.
There's simply no way to avoid the personality changes that will come as a result of transition. After all, you are in effect altering your entire body chemistry and reversing your role in society. The problem for many trans women is that not passing factor. people can say it doesn't matter all they want but for younger transtioners in particular who have had no or very little adult time as a male (like me) passing is important because if all that happens is you get called ->-bleeped-<- and clocked and mocked, well, I think that could lead to maladjustment and some serious issues. Trans women get a bad rap for the attitude. I hear this lots. When I disclose, people always say wow, you look so normal and you're so sweet most of them are clownish and bitter. NOT MY WORDS. Should I launch a defense for non-passing trans women. Yes. do I? No. I'm a wimp and want so desperately for people to like me.
(BTW, in reference to another thread, I consider transitioning at 29 still youngish, especially when the majority of that adult time (or all of it) was spent in a lesbian relationship dressing as a woman just without hormones. Others can diasagree, idc.)
^^ Interesting about the "2 slices" thing :D You sure she wasn't trying to fatten you up out of simple jealousy? :D
I'm definitely leaning towards just achieving attractive fem-androgyny. That would be a hard achievement in its own right anyway. So I better not overshoot my expectations.
Besides, I still haven't come to terms with the possibility of actually growing breasts or not. I can try to stay flat like suggested in my 'me' avatar. Or maybe not. So all of this is still a fluid work in progress to say the least.
Evelyn, really, if you look anything like your avatar, you are now, and will be, just more stunning.. just my opinion..
As for the multivitamins.. Are you taking a course of them, or something like (for us older girls) CentrumSilver, One A Day/women's? I will likely start my HRT Friday, and wondering what would likely go along with them..
Quote from: Paula Christine on April 20, 2014, 07:57:24 PM
Evelyn, really, if you look anything like your avatar, you are now, and will be, just more stunning.. just my opinion..
As for the multivitamins.. Are you taking a course of them, or something like (for us older girls) CentrumSilver, One A Day/women's? I will likely start my HRT Friday, and wondering what would likely go along with them..
Here's crossing my fingers. I'm hoping so. (https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Foi60.tinypic.com%2F2nqcj8l.jpg&hash=f8aebaab098ebb64d1728a0e388badfe8023c19f)
The only sups I take is biotin for my hair, a multivitamin every other few days, and kelp derived iodine which is good to stimulate anti-cancer cell apoptosis. I'm a big time cancer phobe.
Quote from: Evelyn K on April 15, 2014, 07:41:37 PM
What if the changes you are seeing are pointing overwhelmingly in one direction? That (as conceited and subjective as it sounds) you really actually may become beautiful? "I'd take it! Why even think twice about it???" you say? Well you see...
... I'm not sure how to reconcile being beautiful with the andro-masculine personality that's already me.
Wouldn't it be the most insane paradox to transition into a beautiful gal with all of its benefits, only to feel more like a man?
(update)
Wow time really went by fast since my posting this 6 weeks ago. The reason why I'm returning to this thread was because for the first time since then, tonight, I cross dressed again.
My dark brown hair is longer down to my sternum, straight with a slight curl towards the ends. My face is really softening. My upper body musculature has decreased. The heels I wore before now fit looser, the back strap needs tightening. So my feet are definitely shrinking. And I have small feet! (7 mens!) I put on some lipstick, some eye liner and flipped my hair around my neck.
As I peered in the mirror - you now that "twilight zone" feeling you get when you cannot believe what you are seeing?
Yep.
Similar to what this person might be thinking.
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Foi58.tinypic.com%2Fej7igg.jpg&hash=4ae654cf15b41f9125b5651e41e5e2add00bda88)
I am so turning into a woman. My life is going to change. Like wow. I am sort of nervous, because things are gettin' real...this is now about 3-months in...
I think confidence plays a big role here.
I remember when I started transitioning,, I was very worried will I pass .. especially when I went full time.. I dressed to be under the radar. As time went on and my body developed my confidence grew and I became dressing more girly in public.. now 3 and a bit years in .. I have a curvy figure and D cup breasts and feminine skin I dress to kill.. mini skirts, heels and strappy tops when weather allows it. I still think my legs are my best feature and i love to show them off.
I recently joined a gym and now I am have a female workout routine to help tone my body.
Breasts are handy and I use them like girls do to get things lol
I plan to be as gorgeous as possible! :-* I've been putting makeup on for 25 years (yes I've just aged myself) and with years of HRT, I finally look pretty stunning, MUCH better than 10 or 5 years ago. FFS will be the cherry on top, figuratively speaking. I've always had the necessary ingredients to pass, even when I was in denial. I have a long inseam with long legs, thin waist and ribcage, although my shoulders are still bigger than I'd like. HRT has really melted away the muscle too, much to my delight.
Quote from: noleen111 on May 25, 2014, 09:32:12 AM
I think confidence plays a big role here.
I remember when I started transitioning,, I was very worried will I pass .. especially when I went full time.. I dressed to be under the radar. As time went on and my body developed my confidence grew and I became dressing more girly in public.. now 3 and a bit years in .. I have a curvy figure and D cup breasts and feminine skin I dress to kill.. mini skirts, heels and strappy tops when weather allows it. I still think my legs are my best feature and i love to show them off.
I recently joined a gym and now I am have a female workout routine to help tone my body.
Breasts are handy and I use them like girls do to get things lol
It's not so much a passing or confidence thing.
It's just the reflection you where used to for 30 some odd years is now staring back at you like a different person. Remember, your entire life's experience and fond memories where tied to that reflection no matter the negatives and dysphorias.
Seeing yourself evolve into a different human being (and the opposite sex for that matter!) is outside of most human experiences.
What we, as trans people are doing is truly astonishing.
->-bleeped-<- i hope I become better looking as a dude lol but i think like everyone says its about confidence, the more confident you become, better looking you portray yourself to others and yourself
I never ever thought I'd be posting in this thread. But as my body continues to change now at a little over 4 months and 3 weeks in, I notice I'm getting a lot more attention from guys than I used to. I'm getting doors opened for me, a lot more attention in places I never had before. Just last week I had a guy offer to pump my gas for me, and I was a little short at the checkout counter by nearly $5. for my groceries, and two gentlemen behind me offered the clerk the amount I needed. These are just a few examples of attention that's going to take me some getting used to from men. Especially since I'm only attracted to girls. My SO thinks this is funny when it happens and she laughs at my awkwardness with it. :icon_rolleyes2:
Ally :icon_flower:
I'll take gorgeous.
Gorgeous = More passable = less BS in life = better life = win.
-AM
It's a foreign, almost disgusting feel to see who I was. I wasn't even a bad person on the inside, but it's kinda embarrassing to see my old pictures.
Quote from: Androgynous_Machine on May 25, 2014, 07:16:35 PM
I'll take gorgeous.
Gorgeous = More passable = less BS in life = better life = win.
I disagree. Some of the prettiest transgender women do not pass because they act like gay men. Plus, the amount of BS you experience relates to your likability, not passability. If 2 trans women walk into a bar and have great confidence and are fun, they'll probably be loved there regardless of looks. Take those same exact women and make them meek or arrogant, and people will give them a hard time.
Quote from: Alainaluvsu on May 25, 2014, 07:21:20 PM
I disagree. Some of the prettiest transgender women do not pass because they act like gay men. Plus, the amount of BS you experience relates to your likability, not passability. If 2 trans women walk into a bar and have great confidence and are fun, they'll probably be loved there regardless of looks. Take those same exact women and make them meek or arrogant, and people will give them a hard time.
I'm speaking from my own experience, mileage may vary, but I'm in a weird spot in my transistion where sometimes I'm clocked on my less gorgeous days and completely passable on my more gorgeous days (I'm still learning the nuances of make up so sometimes I don't do such a good job).
I will say, from my own experience, the better I look the more passable I am. Being passable, if not downright gorgeous, leads to far-superior days to those when I'm clockable.
Feel free to disagree, but if you gave me a choice between being naturally drop-dead gorgeous, and pretty much anything else, I would take it in a heartbeat. This is a conviction I hold in practicality and not with vain.
-AM
Quote from: Androgynous_Machine on May 25, 2014, 07:29:09 PM
Feel free to disagree, but if you gave me a choice between being naturally drop-dead gorgeous, and pretty much anything else, I would take it in a heartbeat. This is a conviction I hold in practicality and not with vain.
Well, duh :) who wouldn't! And it's inherently easier when you pass than it is when you're not. I was just making a point that beauty doesn't define passability and personality trumps everything.
Quote from: Evelyn K on May 25, 2014, 05:03:47 AM
(update)
Wow time really went by fast since my posting this 6 weeks ago. The reason why I'm returning to this thread was because for the first time since then, tonight, I cross dressed again.
My dark brown hair is longer down to my sternum, straight with a slight curl towards the ends. My face is really softening. My upper body musculature has decreased. The heels I wore before now fit looser, the back strap needs tightening. So my feet are definitely shrinking. And I have small feet! (5 mens!) I put on some lipstick, some eye liner and flipped my hair around my neck.
As I peered in the mirror - you now that "twilight zone" feeling you get when you cannot believe what you are seeing?
Yep.
Similar to what this person might be thinking.
I am so turning into a woman. My life is going to change. Like wow. I am sort of nervous, because things are gettin' real...this is now about 3-months in...
Size 5 feet lol. oops, I meant size 7. :D
Let me correct that!
Quote from: Alainaluvsu on May 25, 2014, 07:21:20 PM
I disagree. Some of the prettiest transgender women do not pass because they act like gay men.
^^ I know right? Makes me want to gag....
LOL ... I'm glad they're in the public eye. That just means nobody suspects the ones that actually act like something other than a gay male.
Ya know I have a gay friend that lives on Bourbon Street. He told me about a trans friend he had once and he explicitly told him "You are not a girl. You're a gay guy faking it". He then explicitly told me "Now my pretty, (he's French, and no I'm not BS'ing, he says it just like that with the thick Parisian accent) you are all woman. You do not act like a gay man. You are being who you are suppose to be and I adore that! You're the only ->-bleeped-<- (I don't mind the pejorative if the context is amiable) I have ever known that I can say that about"
Slightly confused by the 'gay man' thing. What particular things are we talking about?
Quote from: Goldfish on May 25, 2014, 09:25:41 PM
Slightly confused by the 'gay man' thing. What particular things are we talking about?
There are transgender people that are well known who act very notably like gay men (Well.. the one that comes to mind is Gigi "Gorgeous"). Anybody who has been involved in gay culture would quickly relate that she is not passable due simply to how she acts.
I'd havta agree with this assessment. Her presentation is just too brash and ostensible.
Ostensible in the context of his transdom. Being a loud, flamboyant and exaggerated 'woman' with a nickname like "Gigi Gorgeous" is ironically self-parodying. His act even feels consciously artificial irrespective of his surgeries and new hair style. If you've seen his early videos, he even professes to being gay. He acted gay with all the gay tropes and stereotypes. Then he has a YouTube marketing epiphany and decides to transition and spin it all around by wanting to be a natural invoking woman?
I don't really have anything against that. Only thing is, as noted before - "acting very notably gay" - his personality didn't transition with him.
:police:
I'll lock this thread if it turns into a spat. Suggest everyone walks away, go read the bad joke thread or something.
Quote from: kate on May 26, 2014, 04:33:44 AM
So what your saying is women can't be brash and those that do are ostensible?
To your friend alainaluvsu, i would of told him to keep his opinions to himself. Who do you people think you are telling people who is and who isn't transgender, who is 'faking it'. Just wow.
Without opinions, nobody knows the truth.
Oh, and all the *hate*? I think you're misinterpreting emotion. I nothing her. Couldn't care less. I'm just pointing out the obvious. Thanks for smiting me, for giving my own observation and relaying my experience? Wonderful support you have there. A support group can go nowhere without recognizing reality. Remember that.