For friends and lay people unacquainted with HRT, budding breasts are probably the most jarringly gender disorienting secondary sex characteristic they will notice. I was thinking I'd prefer to reveal by omission - as in, hey, if they notice, then I'll deny and cover up until I can't hide them anymore.
But thinking further, maybe it's better to have full disclosure up front and get it out of the way?
How did your friends react to realizing you have breasts growing for the 1st time?
How did you manage their reactions?
I'm old enough to brush it off as old man man boobs. :P
Especially seeing I have no intention of transitioning at this point. Wearing dark loose clothes works well.
I came out to the world on Facebook three months after I started E and had been full time already for a month. I figured that if I was never going back to guy mode for any reason whatosever that everyone probably should at least get the memo. So I guess I nipped it in the bud, so to speak.
At that point I basically didn't give a f*** anymore. If people didn't like it, tough. Life's too short to waste time with people that suck anyway.
Some people reacted poorly, and I'm glad that I know now what those people were actually made of. The vast majority of my friends were good and supportive right from the start, and they all see the changes for the better. Hey, at least I'm not that fat, obnoxious a*hole who would totally drink your last beer while you weren't looking anymore.
I was able to keep mine relatively concealed under loose shirts. I've had tiny, slightly noticeable boobs for a long time though, ever since I tried transition in 1990, so maybe when they started growing again nobody noticed for that reason.
As soon as mine grew I started with push up bras - no way was I going to hide them! I am fairly positive that my friends and colleagues noticed straight away :laugh:
I dealt with their reactions by enjoying my new life.
Cindy what kind of reactions did you receive? Full spectrum? Exasperation?
For me this was a non-issue. I wore a sports bra from the time I made my decision to transition until 3 months later when I started HRT. At that point, in the space of a few weeks I told all the people in my world that I was transitioning, and well, breasts are part of the deal. From that 3rd month I started to present as a girl and started wearing push-up bras, since girls do mostly have some visible breasts.
Evelyn, are you implying that you are not presenting as a woman in public, hence you wonder what friends will think?
Quote from: Evelyn K on June 28, 2014, 02:19:30 AM
Cindy what kind of reactions did you receive? Full spectrum? Exasperation?
People tried to avoid questions but were obviously quizzical - they just didn't know what to do or how to react. Men reacted differently to women colleagues with more 'stares'.
I very quickly realized that I had burnt every bridge and it was time to face it. So - I announced to my colleagues that I was transgender and would be presenting as me. I did that on a Friday and turned up to work on the Monday in a skirt and blouse.
Game over.
They had to deal with it because I already had.
Quote from: Julia-Madrid on June 28, 2014, 02:23:12 AM
For me this was a non-issue. I wore a sports bra from the time I made my decision to transition until 3 months later when I started HRT. At that point, in the space of a few weeks I told all the people in my world that I was transitioning, and well, breasts are part of the deal. From that 3rd month I started to present as a girl and started wearing push-up bras, since girls do mostly have some visible breasts.
Evelyn, are you implying that you are not presenting as a woman in public, hence you wonder what friends will think?
Yes. I present androgynous. Each day that goes by with interactions with friends I find I'm subconsciously pushing my shoulders forward so my shirt doesn't 'poke' as much. I also hate walking into those headwinds.
It's starting to become a chore ;D
Quote from: Cindy on June 28, 2014, 02:24:39 AM
People tried to avoid questions but were obviously quizzical - they just didn't know what to do or how to react. Men reacted differently to women colleagues with more 'stares'.
I very quickly realized that I had burnt every bridge and it was time to face it. So - I announced to my colleagues that I was transgender and would be presenting as me. I did that on a Friday and turned up to work on the Monday in a skirt and blouse.
Game over.
They had to deal with it because I already had.
You have tits of steel Cindy. ;)
Quote from: Evelyn K on June 28, 2014, 02:34:31 AM
Yes. I present androgynous. Each day that goes by with interactions with friends I find I'm subconsciously pushing my shoulders forward so my shirt doesn't 'poke' as much. I also hate walking into those headwinds.
It's starting to become a chore ;D
Aaargh - the androgyne look!!! :o I did that for a few weeks outside work and then just decided to make the jump - seriously I found I got many fewer stares as a girl than I did as a boy-girl.
How are you feeling about making the jump Evelyn, or is it far off?
Quote from: Evelyn K on June 28, 2014, 02:36:26 AM
You have tits of steel Cindy. ;)
:laugh: :laugh:
Oh when I walked to my office that first day I met one of the IT people in the corridor who didn't know. He looked at me and just said 'does this mean we have to remember to put the seat down in the loo?' I just said that I would be using the female toilet from now on, he said 'thank god because my wife and daughter keep telling me off at home and I don't want that to carry over to work'
Quote from: Jill F on June 28, 2014, 01:48:54 AM
I came out to the world on Facebook three months after I started E and had been full time already for a month. I figured that if I was never going back to guy mode for any reason whatosever that everyone probably should at least get the memo. So I guess I nipped it in the bud, so to speak.
At that point I basically didn't give a f*** anymore. If people didn't like it, tough. Life's too short to waste time with people that suck anyway.
Some people reacted poorly, and I'm glad that I know now what those people were actually made of. The vast majority of my friends were good and supportive right from the start, and they all see the changes for the better. Hey, at least I'm not that fat, obnoxious a*hole who would totally drink your last beer while you weren't looking anymore.
Yeah - I like your fearless vibe Jill. :D
Hope you don't mind a guy popping in, but I wonder if you could just not mention them, period, and just tell people you're trans when you're ready. How many people are going to ask you what's going on with your chest? I imagine most people would feel rude or weird about asking and making a scene. Especially when, while they will be noticeable, the growth is still fairly gradual and you'll probably start off with A cups for a while.
I say this because I am clearly male at this point, and I've been showing up to work in a sports bra and thin t-shirt because it's too hot and my job is too active - I'd probably get a heat stroke if I tried to hide my chest! I'm sure some people have thought "geez, why does that guy have such big boobs?" especially when I had to run today and they jiggled. But no one has asked, and these are the type of people who have zero education on trans issues, so if they thought something was off about my maleness they'd call it like they see it.
Quote from: Cindy on June 28, 2014, 02:42:00 AM
:laugh: :laugh:
Oh when I walked to my office that first day I met one of the IT people in the corridor who didn't know. He looked at me and just said 'does this mean we have to remember to put the seat down in the loo?' I just said that I would be using the female toilet from now on, he said 'thank god because my wife and daughter keep telling me off at home and I don't want that to carry over to work'
That's bust-a-butt-crack-in-my-nose hilarious. :D Seriously some of you gals take this game out of the trenches and bring it up and over. No fear.
Birkin, good point.
To be honest, people just don't care. Only *phobic creeps would say anything and their opinions mean nothing to me at all.
Quote from: birkin on June 28, 2014, 02:44:21 AM
Hope you don't mind a guy popping in, but I wonder if you could just not mention them, period, and just tell people you're trans when you're ready. How many people are going to ask you what's going on with your chest? I imagine most people would feel rude or weird about asking and making a scene. Especially when, while they will be noticeable, the growth is still fairly gradual and you'll probably start off with A cups for a while.
I say this because I am clearly male at this point, and I've been showing up to work in a sports bra and thin t-shirt because it's too hot and my job is too active - I'd probably get a heat stroke if I tried to hide my chest! I'm sure some people have thought "geez, why does that guy have such big boobs?" especially when I had to run today and they jiggled. But no one has asked, and these are the type of people who have zero education on trans issues, so if they thought something was off about my maleness they'd call it like they see it.
This is one dilemma I'm dealing with. I perspire easy and hate wearing anymore than I have to in the summer. Then there's the other issue of the bra printing through the shirt.
I've recently learned to use wide bandaids to flatten my nips. But as you can imagine it's inconvenient.
Quote from: Julia-Madrid on June 28, 2014, 02:41:33 AM
Aaargh - the androgyne look!!! :o I did that for a few weeks outside work and then just decided to make the jump - seriously I found I got many fewer stares as a girl than I did as a boy-girl.
How are you feeling about making the jump Evelyn, or is it far off?
I'm thinking Sept. I'll have to convene with FalseHybridPrincess, we have a Sept pact ;D
Yeah, I can imagine that would be uncomfortable. Well, I guess it depends what kind of bra you wear. You may feel like you'd be happier in a lacier one with proper straps, which makes sense given that you're moving towards self-expression as female.
Me, I wear the most butch ass sports bra, no padding, simple straps, literally just pull it over your head and go. I figure that if anyone ever asked about the sports bra I'd keep my answer simple and say that I got tired of my chest bouncing around and attracting attention, and that I liked the security of keeping them in place during the day. Because really, that is the truth lol. People don't need all the gory details.
Quote from: Cindy on June 28, 2014, 02:42:00 AM
:laugh: :laugh:
Oh when I walked to my office that first day I met one of the IT people in the corridor who didn't know. He looked at me and just said 'does this mean we have to remember to put the seat down in the loo?' I just said that I would be using the female toilet from now on, he said 'thank god because my wife and daughter keep telling me off at home and I don't want that to carry over to work'
That's too funny! :D
No one has made a comment about my moobs yet, I keep thinking the day of reckoning will come soon enough.
I think my male friends are in steadfast denial mode still. While my best friend laughs at me when I complain about growing pains she tells me it's my turn now.
Work well I'm haven't told yet (not sure if I will at all). I'm not sure who is fooling who sometimes there
I came out to about 50% of my friends within the first month and a half. When an acquaintance asked me randomly (I was dressed especially girly this night) if I was going to get it over with and "get a boob job" I figured it was time to come out full force... and I did.
Exciting days, those were :)
I haven't seen a single bit of opposition from friends throughout this whole process. In fact I get the picture nowadays that 50% of my friends have forgotten I used to be a dude- unless reminded of course!
I am out to a dozen at work. I manage 30 operating engineers, most ex military one bubble head MC who looks absolutely terrifying. He is my Ops Manager. I came out to him and he has been great.
I have some beginning breasts, rather nice. Not one single person has said anything and I deal with thousands. I am with Doctors who are in general very observant and not one word ( looks but no words).
I have an issue with hiding and have been working on it for a while. If asked I thought I would say that is private.
I've spoken to a friend of mine who is strongly 'queer phobic' he won't even get the doc to check his prostate cos 'it's an "out hole" ' i suggested to him that if he had to take drugs for an enlarged prostate and the side effects were breasts he said so be it,and he wouldn't go under the knife to remove them,So I'm going that one, if need be. spironolactone is prescribed for enlarged prostates! :)
Depending on folks with me, I am either concealing them (cause thats none of their business) or just wearing whatever I fancy atm. So, if it is the latter and I am with male-friends, then sooner or later we go to that awkward exchange of "Hello? My eyes are just right here - not down there! Please?" /sigh/
I told almost everyone (family, friends, colleagues...) around me during last November and December so they had plenty of time to psychologically prepare for what's to come. It was especially important for me to sort it out ahead of time at work so I could safely start girl-mode there in mid-December. I work in a certain bank's technology department and on our floor there's like 100 people.
At the point when in the beginning of March I started to use breast forms, curious looks: yes, questions: no except for one. I don't remember who exactly asked about them but my response was: "And how else am I supposed to get used to them when they actually start growing?"
Funny thing that quite a few colleagues actually believed that I was already on HRT for some time at that point... Like they would grow that quickly over a week when I was on home office because of laser depilation. That would be a record :-) .
So far no one has said anything. Since I have family responsibilities that will prevent my going 24/7 for a long time (if ever) I don't really much want to out myself in general, and loose t-shirts and so forth have worked so far. If anyone has noticed they have not mentioned it. But as things continue, I care less and less. If someone does mention it I may just tell them the truth. LOL.
Quote from: Kristyn74 on June 28, 2014, 07:29:52 AM
I've spoken to a friend of mine who is strongly 'queer phobic' he won't even get the doc to check his prostate cos 'it's an "out hole" ' i suggested to him that if he had to take drugs for an enlarged prostate and the side effects were breasts he said so be it,and he wouldn't go under the knife to remove them,So I'm going that one, if need be. spironolactone is prescribed for enlarged prostates! :)
I like that one.. As I'm in a very male-dominated industry, the guys I work with are mostly middle aged so, enlarged prostate therapy works as well as anything until there comes a time if/when I will have to 'fess up.
I never mentioned it, and I left it to them to manage their own reactions, which they politely did without bringing it up to me. :) Well, except my one dorky college friend who got all flustered and left a "nice tits! how weird." on my FB, and I ignored it...
I guess it never occurred to me to talk about it, and I didn't have much of a window before I didn't *need* to actually say it, either - I ended up coming out at work early before I was outed by being 42C at three months HRT. I *did* make a point of wearing outfits that downplayed them around my parents for a year or so, though, to give them time to adjust.
I came out to my friends over a year ago and besides work (haven't had work since November) I've been living full time. When I find employment I'll be working as a female as it doesn't make sense to step backwards. Occasionally I bump into someone I haven't seen in years (eg: bumped into an old friend at a music festival last weekend) and I explain to them quite confidently what I'm doing in my life as I really don't care if someone feels differently. My hip to waist ratio is noticeably different after nearly two months. I don't think "the girls" are very noticeable from others perspectives but I frequent a padded bra.
Quote from: Cindy on June 28, 2014, 02:24:39 AM
I announced to my colleagues that I was transgender and would be presenting as me. I did that on a Friday and turned up to work on the Monday in a skirt and blouse.
Game over.
They had to deal with it because I already had.
Lol, I like that, but I couldn't pull it off. I haven't started hrt yet, though I was planning on telling a close friend and sticking with an androgynous style (since my style is already pretty classy). Then I was thinking of just wearing girl clothes on the weekend once I was sure I could pass.
Quote from: Evelyn K on June 28, 2014, 02:34:31 AM
Yes. I present androgynous. Each day that goes by with interactions with friends I find I'm subconsciously pushing my shoulders forward so my shirt doesn't 'poke' as much. I also hate walking into those headwinds.
It's starting to become a chore ;D
Yes, Isn't it funny how when dressing androgynous, or even when dressing toward the male end of the spectrum, one still gets addressed as Ma'm? And having no 'boob's that show, to speak of, at times doesn't even seem to make a difference.
My vote goes toward first telling the family and inner circle of friends, depending on who one is close to, and which of these people will be understanding, then eventually expanding beyond that, on an as needed basis.
when it came to my friends, i didnt hide it, I would sit there in my sports bra and if they didnt like it I told them to leave then. I wasnt nice about my transition, it was ya accept it now or dont come near me till ya do.
the old mare : Yeah, honestly, it never occurred to me to specifically mention growing breasts. :) Transition, yes. Breasts, well, people either assumed what they wanted or they could ask, but it seemed like a very TMI thing to *tell* them.
Quote from: Evelyn K on June 28, 2014, 02:34:31 AM
Yes. I present androgynous. Each day that goes by with interactions with friends I find I'm subconsciously pushing my shoulders forward so my shirt doesn't 'poke' as much. I also hate walking into those headwinds.
It's starting to become a chore ;D
I work outside, and when I walk against the wind, even my sports bra doesn't push them down enough anymore, so I have to act like I'm fixing my hair tie or scratching my neck to try to conceal the bewbs
It is like a chore, but that's just another first world problem :P
I'd think my friends would have been more concerned if I didn't pad my bra out until I didn't have to any more. I like detransitioned for a day back in grad school and my friends all freaked out on me with queries of, "Are you ok?" I mean, as I came out the general reaction I got was, "I had no idea! But that makes a lot of sense."
I had a generous A cup before I transitioned at all.
Yeah people don't really say anything. They may giggle at the moobs in private, but they won't bring it up. No one ever did with me having gynomatica or whatever it's called.
(about 5 or 6 months in now of hrt, and they are almost a C cup lol.) I still do the androgenous thing at work. Want to get my face lasered before I change fully, but I get to be me while I am home.
That's funny. I have a woman neighbor that walks over to visit sometimes. A few days ago I was only wearing a very thin blouse & no doubt at all about my B cup breasts. She did not say anything however it was obvious. Now I always wear a thin top when I'm around her & it feels normal for both of us. I guess she may say something one day but so far we are just friends.
Yes, the best excuse is to tell them you have gynecomastia (I had to look up the spelling) if you didn't want them to know of transitioning. My lady doctor didn't even call it gynecomastia, though. She just called it a swelling of the breast and ordered me a mammogram! Made me feel feminine, even though it was a bit embarrassing. The mammogram, by the way, wasn't bad at all, the way they do it now.
Now that I think about it there was actually one family member who literally stared at my breast when he didn't see me for like a month. And that was our cat.
He didn't say anything of course but he kept looking at my breast with a very concentrated look and was moving his ears in the typical "cat confusion" pattern... That was really funny :-) .
Still, it wasn't as far as interesting when he saw me 3 weeks into blockers and couldn't recognize my smell but could recognize me by face. I haven't seen such a shocked stare from a cat until then.
EDIT: Sorry if the above seems rather off topic but I consider our cat a good friend of mine as he helped me to "regulate" my depression prior to transition. And I was actually worried he might not recognize me anymore.
That is ok, as our pets are part of the family. My little dog likes to sleep on my bed with me. She is so cute. But sometimes she wants to jump up on my boobs, lol! Luckily she isn't real heavy!
I have heard a number of people say that their pet went through a 'who are you?' stage when they were on HRT. I do know our pheromones and our detection of pheromones change on HRT.
At the WPATH conference I ( and many others) were offered to sniff androstadienone. Very arousing!
Sweaty men produce it :laugh:
Quote from: Cindy on June 29, 2014, 02:12:52 AM
I have heard a number of people say that their pet went through a 'who are you?' stage when they were on HRT. I do know our pheromones and our detection of pheromones change on HRT.
This is funny, Cindy! My voice coach (she's actually a singing teacher) has several dogs, and a few transgender clients. And she says that her one dog is totally confused by us. Males, ok. Females ok. Transwomen, bark bark bark. It's not the best welcome in the world but I'm learning to announce myself better :D
I did nothing to ease my friends to the concept of boobs.
I came out, and I wore a push up bra most of the time. Now I need one less than I used to.
I like my boobs. I like making fun of my friends when I catch them looking, 'cause my eyes are, you know, like, up here. :o
I really have taken an approach similar to Cindy's, and it has worked much the same way so far. I am SO thankful for the great mentors here. They teach gud.
Quote from: Stephanie2 on June 29, 2014, 01:14:18 AM
Yes, the best excuse is to tell them you have gynecomastia (I had to look up the spelling) if you didn't want them to know of transitioning. My lady doctor didn't even call it gynecomastia, though. She just called it a swelling of the breast and ordered me a mammogram! Made me feel feminine, even though it was a bit embarrassing. The mammogram, by the way, wasn't bad at all, the way they do it now.
That would work well for me since I HAVE gynecomastia. Have had since onset puberty. I'm already a small "B". However, I don't intend to hide other than being careful how I come out to my clients. I'm in mental health.
I haven't told my neighbors anything. They all see me as just another woman in the neighborhood and they just figured my boobs show more because I'm wearing more form fitting brighter clothing that shows my shape more, instead of the mostly black and blue tops I wore before updating my wardrobe recently. One of my cis woman friends and neighbor was over here yesterday and I noticed mine are now bigger than hers, lol! We both just laughed about it.
Ally :icon_flower:
I started 2013 with a commitment to my self to come on out of my last closet and began by telling friends one to one. I quickly found out that this kind of "news" is hard to contain as folks shared too readily and, of course, inaccurately. Wanting to own the narrative of my transitioning I composed several letters and emails so as Jill says everyone got "the memo." As a public figure I also concluded that my transition was going to be out in the sunshine and availed myself of the local daily newspaper that put it on the front page. This has proven to very helpful as I did not have to go into frequent meetings or other social situations and repeat my story. My presentation has been well received and no big deal to most people and i rather like being just ordinary. I have noticed people look at my once padded chest and now my real breasts with keen interest but expected that in our boob centric and saturated culture. Growing breast is but one facet of growing into a more feminine form for this old girl with more explanation usually sought for "why" any of this is happening.
I would not have a problem with displaying female breasts if it could be possible for me. I would not try to hide them and would hope to be able to use them to my advantage.
It's apparent that everyone's circumstances are unique to them, and what works for one person might not be right for someone else. Employment situations, family closeness, culture, one's own sense of self and personality, and everything else are all brought to bear on deciding how and with whom to share that information. And besides, telling someone that you're growing breasts is pretty much the same as, you know...
How NOT to ease your friends into realizing you are growing breasts:
You: Hey Mike! What's happening?
Mike: Dude! How ya doing?
You: Just Great! Hey, I wanted to tell you something...
Mike: Hey, you aren't looking so much like a dude, lately!
You: I know!
Mike: What's going on?
You: I'm growing breasts!
Mike: What the #&@!?
You: Yeah, man, I'm growing breasts! I wasn't going to just come right out and tell everyone, but they're getting so big and jiggly! See?
You: <both hands jiggling breasts>
Mike: Yeah, I see what you mean...
You: Here, you wanna squeeze 'em?
Mike: F#$@ man! No, No I don't!
You: It's alright, man!
Mike: F#$@! Stay away! I don't wanna touch those things!
You: Come on, man! You'll love it!
Mike: Yeah, yea, but... a... You mean you're...
You: Yeah, man!
Mike: Wow!
<Long silence>
You: And stop calling me 'Man'!
I, for one, would never do the "How NOT to ease your friends into realizing you are growing breasts" scenario. No way. It is best for me to remain in the closet. Even if I ever had SRS, UNLESS I was surely passable. Which I am not. With the right surgeons and the money to pay for them, anything is possible. If I had everything done now and by the time everything fully healed, I would be closer to 66 or older. And that is if I would have had everything all set up with therapists, psychologists, and hormone specialists, etc, already. It is surely my fantasy to be rich and fully transitioned, however.
Quote from: Suziack on June 29, 2014, 01:55:45 PM
It's apparent that everyone's circumstances are unique to them, and what works for one person might not be right for someone else. Employment situations, family closeness, culture, one's own sense of self and personality, and everything else are all brought to bear on deciding how and with whom to share that information. And besides, telling someone that you're growing breasts is pretty much the same as, you know...
How NOT to ease your friends into realizing you are growing breasts:
You: Hey Mike! What's happening?
Mike: Dude! How ya doing?
You: Just Great! Hey, I wanted to tell you something...
Mike: Hey, you aren't looking so much like a dude, lately!
You: I know!
Mike: What's going on?
You: I'm growing breasts!
Mike: What the #&@!?
You: Yeah, man, I'm growing breasts! I wasn't going to just come right out and tell everyone, but they're getting so big and jiggly! See?
You: <both hands jiggling breasts>
Mike: Yeah, I see what you mean...
You: Here, you wanna squeeze 'em?
Mike: F#$@ man! No, No I don't!
You: It's alright, man!
Mike: F#$@! Stay away! I don't wanna touch those things!
You: Come on, man! You'll love it!
Mike: Yeah, yea, but... a... You mean you're...
You: Yeah, man!
Mike: Wow!
<Long silence>
You: And stop calling me 'Man'!
That's great. We can have like an emoticon theater with dialogue callouts. ;D
Quote from: mac1 on June 29, 2014, 01:39:34 PM
I would not have a problem with displaying female breasts if it could be possible for me. I would not try to hide them and would hope to be able to use them to my advantage.
I'm only an A cup and still constantly catch men looking at my booby's. When they talk to me some more or less, talk to my booby's instead, lol! I'm sure other girls who are out and living full time have experienced this. I sometimes hold my hand out giving an upward motion saying: "I'm up here dude." While it may be wrong, I'm loving every minute of it!
When I had my left rear tire on my boat trailer fixed my booby's surely worked to my advantage. The guy only charged me $5. to break the tire down, replace the needle valve, and rebalance the wheel afterward -normally at least a $15. job. He even put it back in the bed of my truck for me. My truck is lifted 8" and runs 12.50 x 17" 37 XT's, so if you don't put the tailgate down it's quite high to lift a tire in and out of -especially for a guy not much taller than I am.
YaY!, Booby's!! :icon_bunch:
Ally :icon_flower:
Lol, I never thought that I could put the boobies to work for me in that way. Maybe that is why some men open the doors for me....awww, wait a minute. It's my age, darn it all! Lol! But....just maybe....hmmmm!
I love my girls. Tiny as of yet. But I luvs dem! ^-^
Quote from: Kristyn74 on June 28, 2014, 07:29:52 AM
I've spoken to a friend of mine who is strongly 'queer phobic' he won't even get the doc to check his prostate cos 'it's an "out hole" ' i suggested to him that if he had to take drugs for an enlarged prostate and the side effects were breasts he said so be it,and he wouldn't go under the knife to remove them,So I'm going that one, if need be. spironolactone is prescribed for enlarged prostates! :)
While I'm not in transition, I am growing breasts. I'm a prostate cancer patient. I have had surgery(prostate & lymph nodes removed) followed by radiation treatments. Now I'm on hormones(Casodex pills/Zolodex injections) for a couple years( about 4 months in now). I've had friends come to me and say " Are you growing tits! ". I tell them about the treatment and they kind of feel sorry for me. Then I tell them I like it and that I dress & present as feminine privately or with a select few as much as I can. And that only my anxiety keeps me from presenting publicly that way. So far, everyone has been really cool, mostly they're curious about why I do it. As a side note, I've considered myself a crossdresser but since I've been coming out of my shell I've realized that it's more than about the clothes. Presenting as a woman just feels normal.
Sorry for going on folks, thanks for listening
I'm sorry you are dealing with cancer, but glad that the 'side effects' are agreeable to you. That is one round-about way of doing things.
Kind of ironic really :)
Hey Glora wow I'm sorry to hear that. Isn't Estradiol Valerate indicated in the treatment of androgenic dependent prostate cancer?
Have they staged you and considered E? Would kill two birds with one stone.
I'll mention it to my oncologist, my next injection is coming up soon. Thanks Evelyn. :)
I love your name by the way :)
Quote from: Evelyn K on June 30, 2014, 02:03:46 PM
I love my girls. Tiny as of yet. But I luvs dem! ^-^
If I could have boobies I would not try to hide them. The same goes for a smooth crotch if I could have that.
If it weren't for my job and knowing so many people, I wouldn't try to hide mine. I am basically proud of them and should start to wear my sports bra again. If I get braver I hope to have them measured again by a professional bra fitter. A friend's lady friend measured me at a small B cup a couple of years ago. They did get bigger since, judging by my before and after pictures. Also I could even start jogging to make them jiggle up and down to see if people notice, as I know a great walking trail quite far from where I work.
I am letting the "girls" speak for themselves! ;D It is kind of a twisted amusement to have people see them and wonder if they are really there or if they are crazy. :)
Quote from: Jessica Merriman on July 01, 2014, 03:44:39 AM
I am letting the "girls" speak for themselves! ;D It is kind of a twisted amusement to have people see them and wonder if they are really there or if they are crazy. :)
I think that it is what I would like to do for a "twisted amusement," also! In front of strangers, though!
I would like to have nice "C" feminine boobs. I would then like to display them in a noticable (natural) manner by wearing either a fitted t-shirt or top.
I was so certain that transition was right for me that I told my mum a few days before seeing my GP that i'd be transitioning, within a week every friend knew & all of the people I worked with.
It took almost 3 yrs to get HRT on the NHS so as far as i'm concerned my friends have had long enough to come to terms with the girls growing, when I go out I make no effort to hide them (they're only an A cup if i'm being generous).
When my mum visits I tone down my clothes but won't hide the girls (Mum hasn't even seen me wearing a dress/skirt yet!).
When she takes me out for a meal which we do quite often I wear my baggy Iron Maiden t shirts to hide the girls, this isn't to protect her from their existance but to protect her from some of the negative reactions I sometimes get for being trans.
Quote from: Jessica Merriman on July 01, 2014, 03:44:39 AM
I am letting the "girls" speak for themselves! ;D It is kind of a twisted amusement to have people see them and wonder if they are really there or if they are crazy. :)
I too take a twisted form of pleasure when people struggle to work out why this person has breasts & a 5 O'clock shadow, i'm also getting fond of the phrase "Do you see a pair of eyes there? Nope, that's cause my eyes are in my head not my boobs"
3 years? Why did it take so long?
Oddly enough, I wore D-cup prosthetics for over a year before the powers that be finally let me start HRT and absolutely no-one noticed. I had to ditch the prosthetic ones the true things started to grow since they're way too sore and why would I want to cover them anyways. But I don't think people will notice my budding teenage breasts in a while if they didn't notice the big ones.
We'll see, at least hopefully not noticing works out when I meet my uncle, who's the only person I'm hiding this from because he's so mentally ill that he probably couldn't handle it.
Quote from: awilliams1701 on July 01, 2014, 03:47:32 PM
3 years? Why did it take so long?
Due to severe eczema I cannot wear make-up & according to the fossils at Charing Cross that meant I wasn't fully presenting as female hence my HRT got severely held up, if the guidelines hadn't changed late last year then i'd still be banging my head against a brick wall.
Thank God for these new guidelines, they rock!!
I don't try and hide them either, and they are quite "pokie" in tank tops or t-shirts even when its warm out
Kinda fun to catch people looking at them while in boy mode :) nobody ever dares to say anything, except for kids like the neighbors grand daughter who said "you've got boobs!" lol
Just sent a completely random email to my older asian friend-girl (she's about 50'ish).
She knows I'm doing "something" to become younger and to soften up my looks which has been undeniably noticeable lately. She's a Buddhist and thinks any unnatural manipulation of your body is similar to genetically modified foods. (She's an organic wholefoods nut)
She's not quite onto my transitioning and doesn't really believe these kinds of things are possible. But I am dropping "funny" hints. Like so:
-
To: Her
Subject: OMG my breaSTS are GeTTng so painFUL and ITCHY lately!
Don't want To BUMP into THE DOORS!!!!
-
From: Her
Subject: Re: OMG my breaSTS are GeTTng so painFUL and ITCHY lately!
YOU are playing with a BOMB!!!
-
To: Her
Subject: Re: OMG my breaSTS are GeTTng so painFUL and ITCHY lately!
DID YEW KNEOW, THAT IT'S SCIENTIFICALLY POSSIBLE, TO GO THROUGH PUBERTY - A 2ND TIME? (https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Foi60.tinypic.com%2Fv7tb83.jpg&hash=0488262004d2086ab7c8742c528728927fcc3270)
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Foi59.tinypic.com%2Ft9fiax.jpg&hash=26ec0ce81fac1c3b31cfc79e605fca662128d83d)
-
From: Her
Subject: Re: OMG my breaSTS are GeTTng so painFUL and ITCHY lately!
hope you will know why if you die from something someday!
-
To: Her
Subject: OMG my breaSTS are GeTTng so painFUL and ITCHY lately!
That's funny, I will probably live longer than the other version of ME.
Nyah!
-
Well. She never replied. :-\ At least it's out there. :D
Quote from: Jessica Merriman on July 01, 2014, 03:44:39 AM
I am letting the "girls" speak for themselves! ;D It is kind of a twisted amusement to have people see them and wonder if they are really there or if they are crazy. :)
Yup, I'm doing the same thing Jess. Had to start wearing a bra the other day, and got to do something tonight I've always wanted to do -shove money down my bra on my booby's. I sold another unneeded item today (I've been selling a lot of stuff lately so I won't have to move it, lol!), and when the guy handed me the $50. bill I shoved it right down my left booby. I have literally envied many girls over the years including my recent ex for being able to do this, and my first time it felt exhilarating! I had a big smile confusing the guy who bought the item, and such a wonderful feeling of femininity wash over me from this one small thing!
But yea it's real funny watching the looks I'm getting from my neighbors as they grow. They tell me I look so different now from when I moved in 5 years ago.
Ally :icon_flower:
You know something, Allyda? That is probably the one thing I miss, a 'secret' stash spot.
Quote from: LordKAT on July 02, 2014, 12:06:20 AM
You know something, Allyda? That is probably the one thing I miss, a 'secret' stash spot.
Lmao he, he, he, he. Yup, it's a wonderful place to stash things. I may just sleep with that $50. bill there tonight, lol!!
Ally :icon_flower:
Quote from: Allyda on July 02, 2014, 12:09:30 AM
Lmao he, he, he, he. Yup, it's a wonderful place to stash things. I may just sleep with that $50. bill there tonight, lol!!
Ally :icon_flower:
Watch you don't get papercuts sleeping with that money stashed there, yipes!!
It's so often that traditional women's clothing are missing proper pockets, so it's only fair that there's two extra in the chest area! That's actually the one thing I miss from wearing the prosthetics since I don't use bras at the moment with my still tiny teenage breasts.
I started coming out to people about 4 years before HRT so, they are more like "Finally" than weirded out lol. They are growing quickly too, so people better get used to it :p
If there was a gender fairy that could swap you overnight, I wouldn't hesitate to do that and I wouldn't hide it either. I'm not afraid of the end result, but I am afraid of the awkward transition period.
Quote from: Allyda on July 01, 2014, 11:54:40 PM
Yup, I'm doing the same thing Jess. Had to start wearing a bra the other day, and got to do something tonight I've always wanted to do -shove money down my bra on my booby's. I sold another unneeded item today (I've been selling a lot of stuff lately so I won't have to move it, lol!), and when the guy handed me the $50. bill I shoved it right down my left booby. I have literally envied many girls over the years including my recent ex for being able to do this, and my first time it felt exhilarating! I had a big smile confusing the guy who bought the item, and such a wonderful feeling of femininity wash over me from this one small thing!
But yea it's real funny watching the looks I'm getting from my neighbors as they grow. They tell me I look so different now from when I moved in 5 years ago.
Ally :icon_flower:
That's how I carry my credit card and ID when I run into town, but don't know what I would do if I get a handful of change back...not sure I've ever seen girls put that in their bras lol ;)
TO further derail: I have well endowed friends who use their bras as a purse. Holding $, cell phones and other necessities. Pragmatic padding anyone? ;D
Quote from: Tessa James on July 02, 2014, 12:57:39 PM
TO further derail: I have well endowed friends who use their bras as a purse. Holding $, cell phones and other necessities. Pragmatic padding anyone? ;D
Lol!, he, he, he. I've a friend who's well endowed like that. Her's are so heavy though I doubt shed use them for a purse.
Ally :icon_flower:
At first I was wearing a padded sports bra my partner and I went to target late one night 24/7 target. It increased my bust size to a small b but rounded not pointy. I was at first hunching forward in front of certain people to make it less obvious,but eventually my partner said it wasn't that noticeable anyway. It wasn't until she said this that the anxiety attacks stopped....all in the head! Over that now and more relaxed knowing it's not as bad as what my head was contorting
Mine are definetly noticeable. I tried to hide them some earlier however recently I just wear a thin blouse or T top & who cares. I know people & or friends have noticed, some seem proud of me for being myself, taking better care of myself, looking good. Any one else or some negative attitude & I really do not care any more.
Well I can't hide mine. I had to start wearing a bra last week, lol! I had bought these two silk 34A comfort bra's (no underwire and minimal padding) for this occasion, and my booby's fill them nicely. Best part is they hide my erect nipples, lol!!
Ally :icon_flower:
I have a really close friend whom I haven't seen in about 2 years (and I'm about. 6 mos on HRT, 8 when he comes to visit. I have told him everything , but he still uses phrases like Hey Brother when we talk. I haven't really corrected him because we just txt all the time so I don't think it's 'real' to him yet.
He wants to go for some big hikes this summer with me and the other day I had to tell him, When you come to visit, you have to know that, I don't really have any boy clothes left. So I need to know you are comfortable with that.
He is really awesome about it, but I think there will still be a moment of shock when we see each other again.
Quote from: JenP on July 05, 2014, 12:06:04 PM
I have a really close friend whom I haven't seen in about 2 years (and I'm about. 6 mos on HRT, 8 when he comes to visit. I have told him everything , but he still uses phrases like Hey Brother when we talk. I haven't really corrected him because we just txt all the time so I don't think it's 'real' to him yet.
He wants to go for some big hikes this summer with me and the other day I had to tell him, When you come to visit, you have to know that, I don't really have any boy clothes left. So I need to know you are comfortable with that.
He is really awesome about it, but I think there will still be a moment of shock when we see each other again.
While I really hope things between you and your friend work out, I had a similar situation around 5 months ago. I had a guy friend who had knew me before transition, who always used words like "brother," and would always compare me to a Gay friend he had no matter how many times I told him being trans is different from being gay, and, this guy saw me and knew I don't look nothing like a guy. Long story short, He got drunk one night, and called me up spewing language I won't repeat here, I'll just say he used about every derogatory word in the book of slang to describe what I was. Well, despite him calling back a few days later wimpering how sorry he was, we aren't friends anymore. I knew how he truly felt, and that he'd never accept me as a woman.
I'm only telling you about my experience so you'll be prepared just in case. I know how hurt I was hearing those words spew from my supposed friends mouth, and I'd hate to see anyone get hurt like that.
As you've said though, your friend has been awesome about things. And he hasn't seen you yet. Hopefully you'll really surprise him with how beautiful you are, and how much happier you are now than when he knew you before. Seeing these things about you usually dispells all doubts in reluctant friends. Especially when they see how much happier you are.
All my best wishes. :icon_bunch:
Ally :icon_flower:
Hopefully I don't end up telling a guy I know about that, as I think the same terrible thing would happen. Many people are prejudiced about transitions, with or without the surgeries. I even have to be careful in telling women I know. Made the mistake in telling a lady a couple of years ago and that was just about the boobs. Now we aren't the friends we used to be. She was not polite about it at all and really made me feel bad about myself for awhile.
Quote from: Stephanie2 on July 06, 2014, 12:45:43 AM
Hopefully I don't end up telling a guy I know about that, as I think the same terrible thing would happen. Many people are prejudiced about transitions, with or without the surgeries. I even have to be careful in telling women I know. Made the mistake in telling a lady a couple of years ago and that was just about the boobs. Now we aren't the friends we used to be. She was not polite about it at all and really made me feel bad about myself for awhile.
Cis women as we call them can be mean to each other. They fight at shopping malls over a pair of shoes, steal each other's men/husbands.... You are smart to be cautious about some women. My breasts are sure obvious, I'm just going about life & if someone says something then I tell them it's just the HRT. All normal for me, don't you know or see, I'm glad to be improving more each day as a nicer looking woman.....
FrancisAnn,
I just thought of something. We are talking about cis women and if a cis woman could see our posts and be offended by this, then the rules of this forum could be thrown in our face. It is hard to talk about almost anything these days without offending someone. It is just so ironic. So, as not to get in trouble on this thread, to stick with the subject, I do have a terrible time mentioning my boob growth to anyone, male or female. Now that they are a small C, they are getting harder to hide, so will just have to have a ready excuse for them, as I don't want to come out.
Quote from: Stephanie2 on July 09, 2014, 06:18:13 AM
FrancisAnn,
I just thought of something. We are talking about cis women and if a cis woman could see our posts and be offended by this, then the rules of this forum could be thrown in our face. It is hard to talk about almost anything these days without offending someone. It is just so ironic. So, as not to get in trouble on this thread, to stick with the subject, I do have a terrible time mentioning my boob growth to anyone, male or female. Now that they are a small C, they are getting harder to hide, so will just have to have a ready excuse for them, as I don't want to come out.
If you are asked, just say that they grew naturally.
Quote from: mac1 on July 09, 2014, 07:49:57 AM
If you are asked, just say that they grew naturally.
If my hips, waist, and butt catch up to the boobs, I can tell them they naturally grew too, lol! Or after SRS, "Oh, it just naturally fell off." I am just being silly now, but hopefully they would buy the "natural" explanation.
When I'm asked about mine which is very rarely these days, and only by someone who knew me before my beginning my full transition, I kind of joke about them saying something like: "yea, they're mine and they're real, and they're fun to play with too," and I laugh. For some reason this works and I'm never asked about them again by the same person. I think it helps people when they see your confidence and your secure with your femininity also how happy you are. Or, I could just be very lucky and my last sentence is just wishful thinking hogwash, I dunno.......... LoL!!
Ally :icon_flower:
If I'm asked about them, I just reply "Gotta have boobs" or something like that, while looking at them like they're an idiot for not knowing that.
If the person who asks is female, I add that they have them too, so they should know that.
I would like to have then so I could find out.
Mac1, it took me a few years to reach a small C cup. It takes time, sometimes too much time. Others get the results in less than a year. Go figure! If mine get much bigger I may have to start to think of things to tell people. I am overweight, so that might be a good excuse.
Speaking of using them for pockets...a couple years ago the Paraguayan model Larissa Riquelme became pretty well known after pictures got around of her with her cell phone in between her boobs while cheering for her favorite soccer team. Turned out it was a PR campaign for motorola or something like that
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fcdn.worldcupblog.org%2Fwww.worldcupblog.org%2Ffiles%2F2010%2F06%2Flr4.jpg&hash=180f800f4620336caaea643c5290a466b1a5b6aa)
If I had boobs like her, I could put more than a cell phone in between the cleavage!!!
If I don't want to come out to someone, I just say it's a side effect if medication I HAVE to take, not the worst side effect I could imagine *cheesy grin*
And that is 100% truth!;)
My experience was the reverse of the OP's question. I did not ease my friends into anything. I got PULLED, verbally inspired by a friend into making my shape "public." Because I was boy mode at work for a long time, and I thought I was camouflaging my shape pretty well. But my friend came and made it clear to me that most of the women at my place of employment had figured me out anyway, so she said to stop hiding my breasts, be proud of my figure. It made a huge difference for me, at work, that one conversation.
Camouflaging myself then was semi-doable, but not anymore. Now I am large enough, no guess work for anyone about my figure. It's good.
Yes, Heather, how true that is! Yes, 100% true, is right! I love side effects like that. Boobs are one of the best. I have confided in four people about my boobs, however, one of the four was a woman who did not even want to hear about it. The other three are friends of mine, so they already know and are all for it. I forgot to mention them on this thread (the alzheimers kicking in again), but I was thinking of others besides them that I would be hesitant in mentioning about my boobs in any way. People are so prejudiced to us genetic males just because we want to become like the other gender. What is their problem? People always have to find something wrong with others so that they feel superior, I guess. Or just want to dictate what THEY feel is normal.
Generous, that is so very cool. That friend did you a great justice in telling you about the common knowledge from the women at work. At where I work, I know for a fact that it just wouldn't work out. So, I am stuck with over sized shirts and a beer belly to help hide them. I have noticed when I lose weight, the boobs luckily (or maybe in this case unluckily) don't reduce much or at all, so maybe I have to keep the weight on, lol!
Well,
I seem to have done it differently than most. I hid everything under one or more tight sports bras, a loose shirt and a jacket. I had just gone to a 40DD when I left for FFS and came back as Jen. Most people didn't know.
However, I did that because of the policies here at work. The R&D Center/Head Quarters where I work has over 12,000 employees. There are actually 15 or so transgendered employees here. In general, most of us were full time outside of work for over a year. Some I know some were over two years. It's an intimidating place to be transgendered and work.
Hugs,
Jen
Yes, JLT1,
The sports bras were a good idea, as they do compress the boobs, that is why they are good in jogging and other sports. Only 15 transgendered employees with 12,000 employees was a very small percentage. Sounds like it is as bad as were I work, only I am not aware of any transgendered where I work, unless they were so passable that there was no way to tell. And they probably weren't about to tell, themselves. If I were passable, I wouldn't.
I wear panties and a bra. Most know.
I have to wear a sports bra or otherwise it would be pretty obvious, but I do worry that the compression of them could hinder development, but I have no real information to base that thought on. I mean, are there any studies that say what if any effect wearing a bra has on breast development?
You know, my friends are much more interested in pushing me towards full time than I realized when I talked to them about this, It is great to have allies!
Quote from: Hikari on July 10, 2014, 07:08:32 PM
I have to wear a sports bra or otherwise it would be pretty obvious, but I do worry that the compression of them could hinder development, but I have no real information to base that thought on. I mean, are there any studies that say what if any effect wearing a bra has on breast development?
I have heard that a lot of sport bra wearing may hamper growth, then others say that the sport bra gave them a more rounded appearance. Others say to at least be braless at home to give them the room for growth. I guess the jury is yet to determine anything for sure.
Quote from: Stephanie2 on July 10, 2014, 12:36:44 PM
That friend did you a great justice in telling you about the common knowledge from the women at work.
You are exactly right. She made a huge difference.
Quote from: Stephanie2 on July 10, 2014, 12:36:44 PM
I have noticed when I lose weight, the boobs luckily (or maybe in this case unluckily) don't reduce much or at all...
Many women report the same thing. And it is true for me, losing weight the past half year or so, my bra band size changes but my breasts do not -- they seem even larger now. :o ;D
Quote from: JLT1 on July 10, 2014, 03:40:25 PM
I hid everything under one or more tight sports bras, a loose shirt and a jacket.
Boy, sports bras at work are WAY in my rear-view mirror. I did a lot of binding, though. :(
Now, though, the only thing possible is the heavy duty stuff, like
http://www.lindasonline.com/goddess-keira-soft-cup-bra-6093-fawn.html (http://www.lindasonline.com/goddess-keira-soft-cup-bra-6093-fawn.html)
:o
No more hiding for me. :D
Quote from: generous4 on July 12, 2014, 06:15:42 PM
Boy, sports bras at work are WAY in my rear-view mirror. I did a lot of binding, though. :(
Now, though, the only thing possible is the heavy duty stuff, like
http://www.lindasonline.com/goddess-keira-soft-cup-bra-6093-fawn.html (http://www.lindasonline.com/goddess-keira-soft-cup-bra-6093-fawn.html)
:o
No more hiding for me. :D
http://www.teamestrogen.com/prodCW_165102N.html
Best running/jusmping/biking sports bra I found.
Hugs,
Jen
I had 36B breasts (not man boobs; I'm 5'5 and 120-5 lbs) my whole life from age 16 onwards. Started growing at age 11. So, no easing anyone anywhere. Also, have heavy duty stretch marks all over my inner thighs. Other then not getting my period, I pretty much had a woman's puberty and never virilized like a regular dude. I used to lie about masturbation cause I had no idea how it happened or worked. I wont say anymore TMI...ugh-ish
Quote from: Joanna Dark on July 12, 2014, 06:49:49 PM
I had 36B breasts (not man boobs; I'm 5'5 and 120-5 lbs) my whole life from age 16 onwards. Started growing at age 11. So, no easing anyone anywhere. Also, have heavy duty stretch marks all over my inner thighs. Other then not getting my period, I pretty much had a woman's puberty and never virilized like a regular dude. I used to lie about masturbation cause I had no idea how it happened or worked. I wont say anymore TMI...ugh-ish
Is that the word you intended to use here?
Quote from: Evelyn K on June 28, 2014, 01:15:16 AM
For friends and lay people unacquainted with HRT, budding breasts are probably the most jarringly gender disorienting secondary sex characteristic they will notice. I was thinking I'd prefer to reveal by omission - as in, hey, if they notice, then I'll deny and cover up until I can't hide them anymore.
But thinking further, maybe it's better to have full disclosure up front and get it out of the way?
How did your friends react to realizing you have breasts growing for the 1st time?
How did you manage their reactions?
So thinking back to this June 28 post (and Johanna's nipple posts barraging my thoughts) I got to thinking that something has changed since the above.
I'm no longer ashamed or trying to hide their growth. I'm actually wearing a woman's old navy v-neck t-shirt, I *want* them to poke out. ;D
This all changed since I've started passing. I'm comfortable with them. Or perhaps just comfortable coming into my being.
This thread needs more cowbell! (https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Foi60.tinypic.com%2F14ddgth.jpg&hash=9725425e0045d5258545b0a32e12157aef2daf30)
I have kinda given up doing much hiding of them. My ID isn't changed yet but, I basically just live as a girl ATM. I really want to change my id and keep moving with the process.
Quote from: Hikari on August 20, 2014, 07:18:13 PM
I have kinda given up doing much hiding of them. My ID isn't changed yet but, I basically just live as a girl ATM. I really want to change my id and keep moving with the process.
Hikari,
I'm with you on this too. I've given up pretending they're not there anymore or something to be ashamed of havng (as a guy). They are there for all to see in the sense I am not hiding them by wearing tight sports bras, but regular underwire bras. Heck I even walk with my shoulders back, causing them to protude even more. It really is a case of people only see what they want to see.
On the other hand, I am still presenting as male in the office (in the loosest sense - wearing male work clothes).
Some are more concerned than others in showing their hard to hide breasts. With me it is such a hassle going through several minutes trying to bind them properly without them slipping out or a sport bra strap showing, etc. I figure that it is just a lot easier to let them show. I feel somewhat self-conscious about them, but I can't do much about it anymore, as my loose shirts and overweight stomach just don't hide them like they used to. They are now big enough that they easily show. I am stuck in male mode, but do love the feminine breasts.
If I had feminine breasts I would not try to hide them.
Nobody at work ever noticed my A cup breasts until the first day I came to work full time after being on HRT for 7 months :) to say the news of me being transgender swept everyone off their feet would be the worlds largest understatement.
I have a nice neighbor, she walked over a while back when I was just wearing a t top, my breasts are a nice B cup anyway, she just kept looking at them & a kind of laughed, she knows I'm taking HRT & enjoying being more of a woman. It was fun really, no big deal.