I met this wonderful woman back in June through an on-line dating service and we have so much in common,and we feel so much for each other that there is such a power of love there, that I would just like to open up and tell her that I am a MTF cross-dresser and that she would accept this of me, but I'm not sure of how she would feel. I'd like to approch her in a delicate way. Any suggetsion would be greatly appreciated.
Gina
Gina,
I'm happy to hear that you have found someone you love and who seems to love you.
As far as advice on how to bring up your being CD, I am not sure there is an "easy" way. I would suggest being direct and honest about how you see yourself and about how you see your future. I told my wife that I was a crossdresser almost ten years ago--I wish I had told her forty years ago. This was the hardest thing I have ever done. There is no way to predict with certainty how the other person will take this kind of revelation. For many women, like my wife, it will be a matter of some concern but will not end the relationship. It can in fact even make the relationship better. Other women will react in more negative ways and will seek to end the relationship. So much depends on her attitudes and beliefs about gender and sex. It may be possible to correct mistaken beliefs, but attitudes are much more difficult to change. You may already know a great deal about this woman's attitudes already. If you tell her about yourself you will undoutably learn a great deal more. Be sensitive to her feelings. That is about all the advice I can give.
Best of luck.
Louise
Thanks Louise. I really appreciate your good words to my situation. Today I received a phone call from her and she left a mesage on my voice mail and it said that she felt that what she had to tell me was something that she couldn't e-mail. She told me that she's really turned on by me. But like yourself Louise, I may wait for a few years to conrete my marriage with her before I tell her. I'm planning on getting married to her on February 29, 2008.
Gina :icon_dance:
Gina,
If you two are planning on marriage I would advise telling her before you tie the knot. In retrospect I wish I had told my wife before we were married. If you wait to tell her then her reaction is likely to be "why didn't you tell me before, and what else might you be hiding from me?"
Hmmm, good point there Louise. Maybe I should tell her just so that we can go into our marriage with no secrets. I've tried to be honest with her so far, and I'd hate to start being dishonest with her after we're married.
Gina :icon_dance:
I really advise telling your significant other..
She can't move on to acceptance until she knows about it. :)
Good Luck Gina!
Hey Gina,
As difficult as it might be to do, you should tell her before you get married--and not the week before either! I know you're probably afraid that she'll reject you, but as Louise pointed out, she might be more upset by the perceived deception if you wait. The other thing is, are you really going to be able to hide it once you're together? Unless you're willing to give up dressing or VERY drastically curtail your involvement, there's a good chance you'll get caught--probably the worst way she could find out! Believe me,I know. (You had asked what happened to my marriage . . .) But that doesn't mean you have to jump right in, either. I've heard suggestions such as renting a movie with a TG theme and trying to guage her reaction. Unfortunately, I never heard any feedback on whether that sort of thing helped. If you spend a significant amount of time together, you could be especially admiring of her clothes, enthusiastic about going shopping with her--even just patiently interested would be a welcome change in their men for most women--allow a few fashion references to work their way into your conversation perhaps? I am always amazed at the number of accepting wives I've met at Renaissance meetings and elsewhere. I often ask if they have a friend or a sister, but so far no luck! :laugh: I wish you all the best, keep us posted on how everything works out.
Love, Vicki
I see people saying that they suggest or advise you to tell her. I wont do that. I will tell you to tell her. Not for her sake. Yours. Here's a thought, you're sitting there watching TV together, and something about crossdressers comes on TV. She makes a comment about how disgusting that is. As irony would have it, you were about to tell her. So now YOU are left with the decision. Do you regress who you are as a person, or do you end it with the one you love? I can only assure you, after 7 years with the wrong woman, the latter is much easier.
On that note, I vowed never to get involved with someone on a serious level unless they knew. My GF now, I told her before we even slept together. Of course she had lots of questions, including the expected, "Do you want to be a woman". And you simply answer them.
Now I find her asking my why I havent dressed up in a while, and her telling me how much she likes it.
My point is, there are alot of women out there. Some will like it some will not. They are very different. But unless you feel like you can supress everything that you have struggled with and all you have overcome internally as if it doesnt matter, then you will only set yourself up to get hurt. Hurt by yourself for not being true to yourself.
If you need time, tell her. If you need space tell her. But for your sake AND hers, tell her!
Otherwise what kind of relationship do you expect to have?
They say its easier to have loved and lost never to have loved at all.
Frankly, "They" are a bunch of idiots. Most people do not meet someone they really love and mix well with. WHY? They settle for someone they are "comfortable" with.
I am not saying you're "comfortable" but you're contemplating waiting to tell her, or not tell her at all. I would start there and ask yourself why you havent told her yet. Fear? Fear of what? That she might say "oh hell no" and you don't marry her, thus continuing in your life and pursuit of happiness and allowing her to do so also.
Ultimate point is, you have to decide what you want out of your life. If crossdressing is a part of you, and from what I can tell a big part, then you have to be willing to let whomever you're with in to that part of you.
You cant piecemeal yourself and hope to find happiness. You either accept her as she is and she likewise or be done with it.
Sorry to be blunt but I think thats what you should hear.
__________
From my girlfriend:
I think it's better to know early. It's a big step and requires bravery, but it will be worth it in the long run. I can't say that I would have responded favorably to a TG movie or that I would be attracted to it in another man. I am very curious to find out what the motivation is behind crossdressing as I have never been exposed to it before now. I'm starting to enjoy it - it's fun going shopping for clothes and makeup together - but it's more important to me that Skye is happy. Skye is a rare mixture of masculinity and femininity that you don't see in one person very often. One day she is more masculine than most males I meet and another day she is softer and sweeter than most females. I am captivated by the journey, and I hope I am around for years to come. :)
I'm planning a very special dinner for us next weekend and I 'm going to tell her then. I really appreciate all th good advice that all of you have given to me. It really means the world to me. :icon_biggrin: I saw her last night and things are going so well with us that I just can't see any other way. Believe me. I have thought about totally giving up cross-dressing for her love. It's just a matter of weighing the scales, and I'm sure that most of you know which way it's going.
Gina :icon_dance:
Posted on: October 13, 2007, 06:35:03 AM
Tonight I am going to die. And I have written this to be remembered by, for this will be my final post
Is this a nightmare
Emptiness from the twilight
The darkness suffoctaes me
I can hear the sounds od shoveled dirt
As I am buried alive.
Gina
Quote from: gina_taylor on October 17, 2007, 11:12:54 AM
Gina :icon_dance:[/color]
Posted on: October 13, 2007, 06:35:03 AM
Tonight I am going to die. And I have written this to be remembered by, for this will be my final post
Gina, did you tell her? What happened? Why are you not going to post anymore? You have friends here! :icon_bunch:
zythyra
Don't die! :'(
Quote from: Skye on October 13, 2007, 12:48:48 AM
On that note, I vowed never to get involved with someone on a serious level unless they knew. My GF now, I told her before we even slept together. Of course she had lots of questions, including the expected, "Do you want to be a woman". And you simply answer them.
Dead on Skye! :eusa_clap:
I have always told any girlfriends that I was serious about. I believe in honesty in relationship. What you see is what you get.
I have also come out to my best male friends, either I am lucky or I choose them well but so far none of them has rejected me. My wife knew from the beginning, she was intrigued by it and then even enjoyed the ability to share girlie things and interests with me. She even was a co-founder of "Friends of Eon" in 1978, the first Irish Support Organisation for TGws, their Sos and Families. I told my ccurrent SO Eileen on our second date, she laughted first, thinking I was jocking but then I explained to her that this wa part of me and made me special. She helps me to choose the right type of clothes, we go shopping or on the town or for walks together. Her daughters do my hair and make-up. Her sons -in-lawthink I am strange but since it is ok with her and their wifes they still accept me. My 2 best mates know about it, after seeing me
en femme have even offered to escort me when going out. My son and youngest daughter think it is cool and even sometimes buy me feminine presents. My eldest daughter knows about it but prefer not to see me in female mode and that is fair enought.
"Just like a woman" is the only good film I know that I think shows honestly what crossdressing is about.
Good luck Gina, I hope your relationship is enrished by the sharing of your crossdressing has mines have been.
So don't die and enjoy your blessings.
Light, Love, Laughter and Respect.
Maebh
I'm sorry ladies, but Gina has been buried. I felt that it was too risky to tell my girl friend about what I am, and risk losing her. On the scales, love won. I may tell her later on , but just in passing. It was the best choice. The reason that I'll be no longer posting, is because I will have nothing in common any more with you ladies. And thank you for being my friend.
Gina R.I.P.
You'll be back one day. Mental purges are the same as clothing purges. You can't hide from who you are.
This above all things.. To thine own self be true.
And I can prove you will return... oh yes......
Wait for it............
I wish you all the happiness in the world Gina. If you ever need to come back someone here will be waiting with open arms.
beth
Go n-éirí do bhóthar leat.
Good luck and best wishes to both of you.
When you come to accept yourself, you know you'll always be welcome here Gina and so will she if you ever decide to tell her. For you know that here she wil be able to get answers and support on the SOs forum.
Go dté sibh slán.
LLL&R
Maebh
Good Luck on your Journey Gina,
I hope all goes well.
Alice
I remember trying the same thing :)
For me it lasted about four months until I came crashing down even harder than before.
Hopefully all turns out well for you Gina, good luck with everything!
Gina,
I don't know if you will see this or if you are gone from here for awhile. It is just as important to be true to yourself as to be truthful with your girlfriend. I hope all goes well for you. Perhaps someday you will return.
I hope that you will soon trust yourself and Your new freind to tell her of Gina.
Best Wishes
Gina I don't know you, and I'm not sure if you will read this but I hope you do. Love is a wonderful thing. Compromising it in any way can be a bad thing. Holding secrets for instance. From the time scale you've given you seem to be headlong into getting married. Myself I wouldn't rush into things, but this is your choice. Still this is something that is part of you. Getting rid of a few things won't make it go away.
I do hope that you will understand where I'm coming from. I don't want to see you down the road having problems because you tried to repress a part of you. At the same time I understand what it means to give something up so that you can hold on to something else that means so much to you.
I wish you luck and blessings.
You still have many things in common with us. That part can never be changed ;)
Gina,
In my first marriage I waited until after we were married 2 years to tell my wife and it was a disaster. She proceeded to do absolutely everything that she could to ruin my life and continues to this day to undermine things that I do.
On the positive side, I never would have met my current wife. I told her about a month after we started dating and I expected the worst. Instead she actually said she felt sorry for me. She was fine with it. She didn't know a lot about the subject so she went out and bought some books on the subject. She is incredibly supportive and very loving. She is the love of my life, I couldn't hope for more.
I am not saying that your situation will turn out like mine, but I can say that if you don't tell her and you hide it you will never be truely happy. If you really do love her like you say you, have to tell her as soon as possible. Waiting just forces you to lie to her, and lying in your relationships never turns out well.
Food for thought,
Jessica
Quote from: Tristen Cox on October 21, 2007, 12:23:38 PM
Gina I don't know you, and I'm not sure if you will read this but I hope you do. Love is a wonderful thing. Compromising it in any way can be a bad thing. Holding secrets for instance. From the time scale you've given you seem to be headlong into getting married. Myself I wouldn't rush into things, but this is your choice. Still this is something that is part of you. Getting rid of a few things won't make it go away.
I do hope that you will understand where I'm coming from. I don't want to see you down the road having problems because you tried to repress a part of you. At the same time I understand what it means to give something up so that you can hold on to something else that means so much to you.
I wish you luck and blessings.
You still have many things in common with us. That part can never be changed ;)
Also I don't know you, but after reading this topic. And the good advice here. I hope you read this.
I think the same way about it as Tristen Cox.
I do understand your choice
But also here someone is really afraid ; cause hiding/ run away from what's living in you , can break you up; cause feelings/desires you have, cannot just send away. And that cann give such stress, emotional, psychological, social; when you trying to deny feelings around this , it always come back; however whenever. And after all you have to live a whole life with yourself. And it's important that you can express yourself like the way you feel; it's about you feeling good in the way your live it
I don't wanna scare you or judge you or tell you what to do. But I'm just concern.
Just wanna say please take good care for yourself and your needs
I agree with all the posts. Can true love stamp out all other desires/dreams/true self? Only time will tell. Best of luck Gina and have a happy life wherever you might be. :)
buttercup :)
Like Gina I tried repressing my true self for love for about two years. It seemed that the longer I tried not to think about dressing up the urges became stronger. After a while I had issues performing sexually with my girlfriend unless I closed my eyes and imagined myself as a woman. After the relationship ended I was sad, but it also was like a weight was lifted off of my shoulder, and I could go back to exploring who I actually was. I have sinced vowed to not get seriously involved with someone unless they know everything about my crossdressing, because it is not fair to them or myself.
Hi there ladies! I'm back! Unfortunately it didn't work out quite as well as I had planned with my girlfriend and I broke up with her the day before Christmas, and it didn't even seem to bother her. I don't think that she really loved me and that I was overwhelmed by the idea of being in love. But it did give me time to put my life in some assemblence and figure out exactly what I am, and that is that I am very comfortable being a cross-dresser.
Gina :icon_dance:
it was worth a try though.
Gina,
Sorry that it didn't work out with your girlfriend, but it's nice to see you back here.
y2g
Thanks Pica Pica. You're right. It was worth a try, and I did enjoy having her around, even though it was only twice a month. Biggest problem with her was that there was so much mystery around her, and she was very vague with answers. I did tell her about me being a cross-dresser, and it didn't seem to bother her.
Thanks for having me back y2gender. It really fills my heart with a warm feeling of love.
Gina
I'm sorry that it didn't work out fo you, Gina. The fact that you are comfortable as a crossdresser speaks volumes as to where you are now. Some day some one specialwill see that in you.
Gennee
:)
hi Gina,
i am sorry to hear that it didn't work out with you and your girl. but it is goo that you have come to terms with who you are. i told my wife not long after we found each other. she was understanding and still loves me to this day where i now know that i am not just another cd but a mtf transsexual and she is still loving and understands who i am, our sister(long story) is still coming to terms but is still accepting of me. my wife and i have 2 kids and i still want two more little girls, then she promised i can have my surgery. not that i could probably afford it then, either..lol. but i have a very unique woman and pray you find one as well.
Mickie
Hey,
Sorry to hear about your breaking up, but if she didn't really love you then it is for the best. Just keep going, when you are least expecting it you'll stumble across your sole mate...
Peace and love,
Isabelle St-Pierre
Very well put Gennee. It was a shame that it didn't work out, but at least I realized the problems first before I married her and that there really wasn't any love from her side, but all that she was after was sex. But it did show me that my heart was more for my cross-dressing and that is where I will remain. Sure I may find someone that will appreciate my life as a CD like Mickie's wife, but right now I'm just happy to be myself and live my life to the fullest and to have supportive friends like yourselves behind me.
Gina
Gina,
Sorry to hear that it didn't work out with your girlfriend, but it is good to see you back here. This week is the tenth anniversary of the day I told my wife that I was a crossdresser. We are still very much married. There are many women who are accepting of crossdressers, I hope that some day you may find true love.
Congratulations Louise. I'm really happy to hear that things are still going well for you and your wife. Maybe one day I might find an understanding wife like you have. I just read your wonderful post about your ten year anniversary.
Now as I may have said a few posts back, the cross-dressing wasn't the problem with my girlfriend. She just wasn't honest with me. Here I am telling her that I'm in love with her and after seven months she can't tell me how she feels about me because all that she was interested in was coming over to my place and spending a little time with me and then fornicating. Fortunately due to some medical problems, she couldn't get pregnant, but I just thought that it was strange that she would drive an hour and she'd never let me come to her place (even though she was living with her parents) and she'd tell me about her brother and sister and their kids but she'd never tell me their names, even though when I'd tell her about anyone I'd always use a name. So their was always a lot of mystery around her. I had bought her a nice lingerie and when I had ended it with her I told her that I could send it back to her and in her reply she asked me not to. It's also strange that in the seven months that I had been seeing her that she hadn't told her parents and she'd be arriving home late at night.
Gina
Posted on: January 01, 2008, 09:59:18 AM
No self pity here. I got back on the Internet and joined a on-line dating service and had found a few possible women that I liked. A week later I received a reply and we're meeting each other tomorrow. Now I won't be telling her about my being a cross-dresser that soon, but I'll be waiting it out. My problem last time was that I rushed into th relationship too soon and as said it's costing me now. But at least on the bright side, it's given me a chance to freshen up my wardrobe. :icon_biggrin:
Gina :icon_dance:
Best wishes for you and your new friend. It is easy to say not to rush into a relationship, but I know that when the emotions start working on us it is hard to do. I do hope that before things get too serious that you will be open about being a crossdresser. No relationship will get very far without honesty and open communication on both sides. :-*
I found a new girl through a on-line dating service and we went out and I thought everything was good, but she told me that we don't match. Yesterday, I contacted my ex-girlfriend and we've agreed to just be friends with no relationship involved. We'll see how it works.
Gina :icon_dance:
Things to watch for in a relationship:
I would say almost everyone gets into a relationship in which they are in love with the idea of having a relationship (after being bored of being alone) and do not look realisticly at whether they are compatible. (Even my dad at the age of 75 with his 4th wife!). I can kind of make myself compatible, just for a dream to live for a while.
The other common mistake to make is to note that opposites attract and look for the opposites in your partner and say, well I find them interesting now, but will they eventually annoy me ???
My favourite mistake was to ignore bad aspects of a person - eg stupidity, selfishness, alcoholism etc and quietly believe that I could somehow change them...aaarrggg
Fortunately loads of girls love TV's in my experience, I have always pulled easily, they feel much more at ease generally with TV's.
If everyone could fill out my lovely survey (currently the third crossdressing post), which is actually quite important, especially for all those teenage TV's ripping their soul to pieces wondering what the hell is going on with their inner selves... that would be great!
Thanks Janinea for your kind words of advice. After nine months of dating, she finally told me why she won't get involved in a long term relationship, and that is because she is so comitted to her parents, and then she tells me that she cares so much for me that every time she's with me her feelings grow more stronger, so she feels that she has to stay away from me. I give up! Fortunately on the first of February, I found this wonderful transsexual woman that I fell in love with and she fell in love with me and we are so right for each other and so unbelievably compatiable. We are in the stages of planning our wedding. Alls invited. . .
Gina :icon_bunch:
Congrats Gina!
So who's wearing the dress? ;D I had to wear a Kilt because my wife wanted to wear the dress and we figured that paying for one wedding dress was enough. :)
We've discussed that and we've decided that she's going to be the one wearing the dress and I'll be wearing the tuxedeo, but after the wedding I'll get to wear the dress. :)
Gina :icon_dance:
Congrats to you, Gina.
Gennee
:)
Thanks Gennee,
It's been a long time coming, but you know it feels so good to finally be in love and feel the love from someone else. That was what I was missing with the last girl that I was dating. My finacee leaves voice messages on my phone, and my heart alwasy skips a beat when she ends off the call with her cheerful little "I love you" ending to it. We're going to have such a wonderful relationship and such a wonderful marriage.
Gina :icon_dance:
Do you have a photo of you both? If you don't want to post it here you can e-mail it to me.
Gennee
See my profile
I was talking with my fiancee and we've decided to disclose who she is. She's a member of this group, and it were just amazed that by just one PM a month ago that it would spark such a love interest between us that it would lead to this, but we guess stranger things have happened. But anyway, her name is Jessi Parker, and we love each other very much.
Gina :eusa_clap:
Quote from: Gina_Taylor on March 11, 2008, 03:00:35 PM
I was talking with my fiancee and we've decided to disclose who she is. She's a member of this group, and it were just amazed that by just one PM a month ago that it would spark such a love interest between us that it would lead to this, but we guess stranger things have happened. But anyway, her name is Jessi Parker, and we love each other very much.
Gina :eusa_clap:
Congratulations to you both, Jessi and Gina! It's wonderful that you've found each other.
Z
Thanks Zythyra for your kind words,
But would anyone disagree with us getting married after only knowing each other for approximately six weeks. We've been talking on the phone for nearly 80 hours and e-mailing each other in between and we've learnt so much about each other that we feel that we know more than enough about each other. We're very confident that our marriage is going to work out very well beacuse we understand each other, but my parents feel that we should take a year to really get to know each other before making such a commitment to each other. So we were going to haev a quick, simple wedding kind of like an elopement.
Gina
From the time my partner and I realized we wanted to be together, and when I moved in was only three or four months. We lived 600 miles apart, and were really racking up the phone bills! We've been
together for 12 years now ;D
Zythyra
Gina, I e-mail my address to you about 40 minutes ago.
Gennee
Hey Zythyra,
Thanks for being so supportive. We live 1800 miles apart, but fortunately we have free long distance, but we'd love to be closer (if you know what I mean.)12 years is a long time being together. We hope to make it that long or longer. Have you been to the altar with your partner?
Gina :icon_dance:
Quote from: Gina_Taylor on March 12, 2008, 05:28:23 PM
Hey Zythyra,
Thanks for being so supportive. We live 1800 miles apart, but fortunately we have free long distance, but we'd love to be closer (if you know what I mean.)12 years is a long time being together. We hope to make it that long or longer. Have you been to the altar with your partner?
Gina :icon_dance:
Hi Gina,
1800 miles, that's far! 600 was plenty far enough. We've not been to the altar... perhaps someday though. We'd both been previously married.
Z
Thanks for your kind words. I guess I should probably chime in now. Yes, we are truely in love and what's wrong with reading the book before you look at the cover. I love what I have found out about her. We didn't show each other pictures for a few weeks after we started talking. That was mainly a way for us to find out if we liked each other in principle before seeing each other. I have since seen her in pictures and it won't be a big surprise to see her in person. I am heading to Florida in 4 days to meet her in person. I will be there for a week. The questions I keep asking myelf are,, "Is this for real? How did I fall in love so quick, why did I fall in love so quick?" I wasn't wanting that to happen. I have been terrified of getting into a relationship since my transition. All I wanted was a friendship with someone and we just cliked. We like the same things, feel the same feelings and so on. I can totaly see myself spending my life with her. I could go on like this for hours, but, I won't bore you all. I am Jessi and I am in love! WOW! Those words together sound so beautiful. Thanks again for all you kind thoughts and I'll talk to you all later.
The blushing Bride,
JESSI
What a wonderful post you've done Jessi and it expresses so much. Honestly I've seen nothing wrong with doing things the way we've done it, but due to parental advice, we've had to postpone our wedding, but then it wasn't set in stone that it was for the actual set date, but I was reading that an enagement that leads to marriage can be whatever length the couple wants it to be.
Gina T :icon_dance:
Congratulations Jessi and Gina,
Don't worry about the abbreviated courtship. If it's right, why wait. You would just be delaying your own happiness. It sounds like you have both found that someone special. I am very happy for both of you.
Congratulations again,
Jessica
P.S. If you need a bridesmaid, let me know. I'll be on the next flight out. :icon_joy:
Thanks Jessica for your warm hearted words. Jessi will be arriving in Florida by sunset, and we'd love nothing more than to be officially married this week, but as you know marriages don't quite happen over night, but we are working on the final stages and we're not sure which direction it's going in. But if we need a brides maid, you'll be in the top of our list.
Gina and Jessi :icon_tetter: :
To both of you Jessi & Gina all the best of love, happiness, companionship, joy, passion, understanding, tenderness, support, success, songs, laughter and celebrations.
LLL&R
Maebh
Thanks Maebh for your sweet words of encouragement. We really do hope to make the best of it, but unfortunately I just found out that same sex marriages (any way that you look at us, that's what we are classified as being) are only valid in Massachusetts, and that California offers a domestic partnership which same-sex partners have nearly all the rights and reponsibilities of spouces. Vermont and Conneticutt both offer same-sex couples a "civil union registration system." Under these systems, same-sex couples can register their partnership and receive all the benefits of state laws that apply to married couples. So we may have to be partners for life, but Jessi has ressured me that as long as we're together it is fine with her.
Gina and Jessi :icon_tetter:
Quote from: Gina_Taylor on March 17, 2008, 12:28:25 PM
So we may have to be partners for life, but Jessi has ressured me that as long as we're together it is fine with her.
Gina and Jessi :icon_tetter:
But the legal situation is moving all the time, due to campaining by groups or ruling from courts, laws get changed even here in Ireland. So somedays we might all get an invite to your wedding! :laugh:
HLLL&R
Maebh
Jessi arrived after a long 18 hour drive and we've had a wonderful time getting to know each other in a more personal and intimate way. It's going to be hard for both of us on Friday to say goodbye to each other, but through our tears we'll make it.
Gina T :icon_dance:
Jessi and Gina, I am so happy for the both of you. Enjoy your time together and best wishes. :-* :-*
Thank you Louise for your kind and heart felt words. We really did enjoy our time together. Because we took the time to get to know each other before actually meeting each other, there wasn't much of a surprise when we actually meet each other, and I really feel that this made us both feel so much more comfortable with each other. Some friends had noticed that I was glowing from ear to ear. :icon_biggrin:
Gina :icon_dance:
Hi Gina just popped in to say congrats. Girl meets girl on Susan's highway to happiness. Well I was here about 7 years ago that I met Wing Walker and we wee married 4 years ago and are now living happily ever after. "Hee, hee, hee."
Truly I wish happiness for the both of you.
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi11.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fa191%2Fcynthiag932%2Ffairiescarolynandme-1.jpg&hash=6f2933297f8a26a04b09ec16fe4522457d9228bf)
Cindy
Thanks Cindy for your delightful words. Jessi still can't believe her luck with us and how well we get along.
Near the end of the year(September - November), Jessi and I hope to get everything finallized and tie the knot. I'm sure that we'll have as lengthy a relationship as you and Wing Walker has had.
Gina :icon_dance:
Count your blessings,Gina. It's wonderful when you connect with someone.
Gennee
Quote from: Gina_Taylor on March 23, 2008, 10:11:18 AM
Near the end of the year(August - November), Jessi and I hope to get everything finallized and tie the knot. I'm sure that we'll have as lengthy a relationship as you and Wing Walker has had.
Gina :icon_dance:
Hope you'll see each other again before... Who's driving next time? ;)
Congrats and all the best to both of you.
HLLL&R
Maebh
Congraulations Gina And Jessi!
news such as this brings a warm smile to my face. ( and many others i am sure)
Best Wishes
Kate Alice
Thank you Gennee. I have been counting my blessings ever since we meet, and yes it's been an absolutely wonerful thing that we connected so well.
I'm planning on seeing her by August, and I'll be flying. Less chance of getting lost. LOL. I'm planning a trip for around late August.
Thanks Kate Alice for your warm words of kindness.
Even though Jessi has had some maratial problems before, as I'm sure a lot of y'all have had, since we both come from the same chapter, I don't see us running into any problems, because we bother understand each other so well, and that is one of the reasosn that we get along so well. :icon_biggrin:
Gina :icon_dance:
Glad to hear that your relationship seems to be blooming. :icon_bunch:
Thanks Louise. We have tentatively set a date for our wedding, but in reality we could run into a bit of problem because of the same sex marriage laws. So we're thinking about getting it done at City Hall. Would this be easier? Any suggestions?
Gina :icon_dance:
So which state are you getting married in? FL or CA is one favored over the other?
We'll be getting married in the state of Florida. I was just checking on the Internet, and it does look pretty simple to get married at City Hall. Lot less work and we can save a whole lot of money as well! The way that I'm thinking is for what we'll be saving on the wedding we can put into the reception. :icon_bunch:
Gina and Jessi :icon_tetter:
I would imagine Florida would be cheaper. It's quite expensive in Calif.
Gennee
Hi Gina Taylor, I do pray for the best for you hon. Paula I have been together for four years with only two heated argument between us. We are close to one an other and the empathy in myself tends to allow us to become like one of mind. It has been a really good thing that we have met or otherwise we may have been without a partners for the res of our lives. Where ever Wing Walker goes, I follow. We have shared so many good times together. It has been a good union of body and souls.
Cindy
Hopefully everything should cost around $600.00. I'm hoping that our relationship will last as long as yours Cindy. I do feel the same way as you do with being as one mind, becasue we surprise each other by thinking a lot along the same lines. The union of body and soul is so cool!
Gina :icon_dance:
Hi Gina Taylor
Well I'm certainly happy for you. Isn't it wonderful to emerge as the women having experienced the growth brought about by ones very own depth of emotion, and awakening to a much greater and brighter level of our spectrum of consciousness. Knowing how to intensely have love for another, like never before experienced. Sometimes I love to cuddle up to Wing Walker and enjoy this new feeling. To damned with the old tapes and their restrictions and past conditioning's. Eventually those old tapes will rewind themselves and begin a new set of values and perceptions.
Cindy
Thanks for your kind words Cindy. I feel the same way. Gina and I have experienced love that seems to be unconditional. I never thought that it would happen to me. I was so affraid of getting involved with someone thinking that they would find out what my old tapes had on them. She knows everything about me, and she has shown me love and kindness that my ex only tried to do. She says that she hopes it will last at least as long as yours, but I feel there is no hope needed. We seem to be perfect for each other and I feel that I will always feel that way. The only bad thing is that I have to tell her mom about my past tonight. She is not that open minded and I am worried at what she may try to do. She has her suspicions, and to ease her mind and to stop her interigations, I will lay it all the line tonight. We both feel that it is best and we need to get this out in the open. I so wish I could just forget about the past and concentrate on the future. The only thing is, is that my past is what made me into the woman that I am today. Without it, I would just be an average girl, now I am an exceptional woman, yes, you may see me as concited (not sure of the spelling on that and too lazy to use spell check)but I am just confident in my outcome. Thank you again for your kind words and I hope to talk to you in the future. Love is such a wonderful and weird thing. I am glad that I get to share it with her.
JESSI
Hi Jessi hon. we are all special in this group all will not come out the other end without fighting their own private battles for survival, and that is exactly what it is in early transition. That is probably the only reason I have decided to stay on this board and that is because I really do care for everyone on this board, especially the kids, like I have said before I love them like they were my kids.
And now about the cuddling, that is a new experience for me but a couple of nights ago I awoke in fear, don't remember what it was, probably just a bad dream and I kind of curled up in the fetal position as much as I could against Wing Walkers tummy and I felt her put her arm around me. That is the most awesome feeling I have ever felt. The warm and the fuzzies? Yeah I suppose but it's more then that. I just felt so loved and protected, goodness I don't remember ever feeling like that at least note since I was a little kid. It feels so wonderful to have someone who care and loves you. Geee there was once upon a time I would not have shared these feelings like out of a Harlequin Romance novel.
Hon I believe that once we have gone through transitioning the realisation of who we are becomes quite clear. Our emotions feeling and intuition and capability to love another through a woman's eyes and the awareness of not just her being but also their mate. Sincronosities now those are truly uncanny, knowing what each others is thinking before we say the words. Like minds. Anyway these discoveries are wonderful and their are no reason's why we can't enjoy them.
Cindy
Oh Cindy, there's no need to be so formal, please call me Gina. ;D
But yes, I agree 100% with you and your wonderful thoughts that it is so wonderful to experience the growth of a blossoming relationship that has lead into an unconditional love between Jessi and myself. For I too enjoyed cuddling up with Jessi and accepting 100% for what she is and not what she was. For like yourself, I have almost erased the old tapes and have started on a new perception and values of what our lives will be.
Now Jessi, like I said to your recently, I have been on cloud 13 since we started our relationship, and I know that you've been there as well. We've been totally honest with each other and that has made our relationship stronger. I agree with you there, Jessi that there should be no doubts in my mind and that our relationship will stand the test of time just as well as Cindy and Wing Walker's relationship has. As for my mom, she shouldn't pose too much of a problem, as long as she knows the truth, then there will be no more problems.
Yes, you are a very exceptional woman and yes love is a wonderful and weird thing and I'm really pleased to be sharing it with you as well. But believe me Jessi, you are far from being conceited. I may not be a good judge of character, but conceited you are not. Sure you may be overly worried about certian things, but I can live with it.
Y'know Cindy, it would be so nice if my mom could see Jessi for the woman that she is becoming and not the person that she is leaving behind, as I have.
Gina :icon_dance:
Your mom may not react very much at the first time she meets Jessi, it might take a bit of time. It is not your moms fault it happens to most TS's family. Many a times it is just plane not knowing about Transe. They just need to get accustomed and educated. If they accept neither then it could be a bit more complicated and difficult a barricade to breach. If that's the case you may want to just pull back for a while.
That cloud wont fade it just becomes more prominent as time goes bi. It took me a while before I felt comfortable enough for me to sleep in the same bed as Wing Walker. It wasn't her fault, actually it had nothing to do with our relation ship. I just had gone through to many abusive relations ships. It just took time for that part in me to awaken. I believe that after being 2 years on estrogen kind of slowly changed my feeling about things. Well I am stepping out right now but I will be looking forward to a response.
Cindy
Hey Cindy,
I went ahead and told her mom about us last night. I know for a fact that it took her breath away when she found out for sure that I used to be a man. She said that she still liked me as a person, but, isn't sure if I would be the right choice for her daughter to spend the rest of her life with. Her dad took it alot harder than I thought. He won't even look at her or be in the same room as her. I hope I didn't just ruin their family. I knew it was going to be a hard thing to do, but I also knew that I had to do it. The questions and interigations were getting to personal. Gina is proud that I went ahead and did it. I am now totaly second guessing my decision. Not to spend it with her but on telling her family. All I wanted was for them to know the truth and we both thought that they were ready to hear it. Why can't it all be just peaches and cream? Why can't they see that I am a woman and no matter what has happened in my past I still love Gina. I guess we will find out today what the outcome of all this will be. I will let you know later when we find out.
As for Gina and I, well we are on a cloud. The cuddling is one of my most favorite things to do. To lay your head on the chest and hear the heart beat of the one you love just beating away. It is so awesome. We have a very strong bond and I am just amazed at how it all came about. What more could you want. I have someone that I can talk to about anything and do whatever we want to together. We laugh all the time and can't sleep when the other is hurting. I am so glad to hear that you and wing walker are doing so well too. It gives me peice of mind that things will work out the wat they are suppose to. I hope to talk with you later.
JESSI
Hi Jessi, I am glad to hear that her mom accepts you at least that is putting the foot in the door so to speak, and now the ghost of transsexuality has entered, I much prefer using the word trans. I believe there will be some discussions about the both of you after the front door was closed behind you again. It might turn out ok but it is usually the male that will lag and after a lot of feet shuffling before he even considers it. The biggest problem is the difficulty and possibly the inability to wrap his mind around the idea or concept of transsexuality. The idea of absorbing all of this new concept that goes against the grain of his old conditioning's he was familiar with, these were all the beliefs and traditions that he grew up with. Well that is only one possibility, at any rate I will send prayers for all to go well. It may take a bit of time.
For you two right now I believe is what is most important, your happiness and learning how to live in the newly adopted gender you have both chosen to live as your new lives. At first, at times, as much as I hated to, I had to be somewhat selfish and look after myself if I wanted to survive. You may have to do similarly for the both of you in order to survive and thrive in your new lives together but I believe that both of your love, devotion and caring for each other will carry you through quite fine. I have always thought that meeting Wing Walker was a blessing and a life saver. Not to many people out there are willing to talk shop with us. Having a partner makes it so much easier and pleasant as well being supportive of one another.
Yes my goodness the cuddling is good. Sometimes I get spooked during the night, and I just cuddle up to Wing Walker and she puts her arm around me and I feel secure, cared for and protected. Those kind of feelings are all news to me. I mean I knew what they were but they were tucked inside out of reach where I had stuffed them. Wing Walker helped find the right closet and I released all that poison from the past. I love dancing and that tight I danced like an idiot in the middle of the living room floor, doing the hair flip and the whole bit. I guess Wing Walker hadn't seen the likes of that kind of performance since she was a kid. Well I guess she fell in love with that part of me. Whether she likes it or not she is married to a big kid, and I refuse to grow up. "Hee, hee, hee." :)
Cindy
Thanks for your kind words toward Jessi and I Cindy. Jessi told me most of what had transpired due to her calling my mom and my mom filled me in on some things. But as said I was surprised that my dad took it as hard as he did. We were attending our first Saturday night Church service and my mom told me that my dad was too upset too come. But you are right that at least Jessi was able to get her foot in the door, becasue my mom still likes her as a person, and we will be together one way or another. It was a very hard thing for Jessi to do, and that is why I'm so proud of her for doing it, and it was handled in a very diplomatic fashion as well, but now we'll just have to wait until tnight to see what my mom will have to say about things and to see what direction things are going in. With me being a part of the transgender communiytu for such a long time, both my parents have had more than enough education on the subject that ignorance shouldn't be there.
Oh Jessi, I agree with you 100% that nobody can knock us off of our clouds. We enjoy cuddling and listening to our heartbeats, and I couldn't agree more with you that we have developed a very strong bond between us in such a short time, and that we've almost developed a mental telepathy between us both in communication and feeling. And I agree with you that Cindy and Wing Walker's relationship has been a prime example of a relationship that has been working out very well.
Gina :icon_dance:
Hi Gina hon I thank all the saints in all 10 dimensions that all continues to be well with you and
Jessi. I was so worried that I may have said something wrong about the relatives situation. It was only an attempt at sharing with you what I have experienced myself as well as observations I have made from the experience of some of our sisters and brothers on this board.
Anyway I know you mentioned it in a couple of emails ago about your being involved with the transgender community but I guess I had kind of stored it away for a bit. Well I have been, up til two years ago, worked as a social worker for 20 years, I worked on alcohol and drug abuse recovery program, street people and finally the last ten years for mental health consumers. I was retired to years ago and the idle time nearly killed me. I got involved with different groups on the web, it helped but it didn't feel complete. after Wing Walker and I moved here to Vancouver from Ontario time I decided why not look into doing something in support of my own TS brothers and sisters?
Wing Walker and I have opened the doors for a drop in and support group for trans folks and we are also looking to join another program that deals with sex workers. I have been given a gift for working with folks and I be damned if I am going to just quit.
Speaking of syncronisities huh. I bet, heck I know there are others like us out there, they probably are just not as open about it as we are. Well not everything is negative thank God, negatives can be transmuted into positives if we desire it to be so. Such is what one calls truly ***believing*** that they can materialise good in their lives, so it shall be. I really do enjoy speaking with both of you and Jessi, and I do hope that our crossing paths will continue for a wee time longer.
Cindy
Hi ya Cindy,
Don't worry, you didn't say anything wrong. I will just say that I have been in transition for over two years and I have lived full time as a woman for a year and a half. I had not experienced any real negative actions. My family has accepted me for who I am and are glad that I am happier this way. I will have SRS when money allows it. This was maybe the second time out of my two years that anything didn't go the way I had envisioned. They (her family) had spent quite a bit of time with me while I was down there in Fla. and they were very nice and considerate when I was with them. I think that is why this came as such a big blow. They all liked me when they didn't know and now that they do, I am just so wrong for their son. Her mom says that she will talk to me if I call and want to talk to her, but I don't think that will happen. They have closed their minds to any possible relationship with me as soon as they found out. I hope that one day they will see how happy we are and let us live the way that we see fit. I have had one of the smoothest transitions that I have heard of and without any major delimas, when thay do arise I don't know how to handle them. I have pretty much shut down. Why did they change their mind so fast? Why did I have to go and blow the good thing that we had going?(that is in reference to her family not her) Why did I think that they could handle the truth when they kept pressuring us into telling them? Because I honestly thought they were good people. Guess I'm not that good of a judge of character. I tend to trust everyone till they give me a reason to change my opinion about them. That didn't get me very far here. It makes me feel like a fool. I don't really enjoy being a fool. It's not my cup of tea. This is totally sucky, I need to try and look on the positive side, I wish I could see it though. I stll have Gina, which is a very big positive, but then now she is alienated from her family, so how much of a positive is that. Gina still loves me, that's a positive, I still and always will love her, so I guess things will be alright in the long run. Well, I think I have vented enough for now. I am just taking this a lot harder than I should be, hormones, I guess. hehehe. They are my medicine and yet they are my poison, who would have thunk it. I enjoy reading your post Cindy, please keep in touch.
JESSI
Hi Jessi, I do so shed tears for you. I have gone through the same predicament with my sister. She is the last living as far as sibling goes. We use to be so close to one another then transsexuality showed up and ***pop goes the weasel***, splitsville.
Both my mom and my dad were deceased 25 years ago. Yes, I can identify quite well with much. My transitioning went so smoothly. Once I was on HRT I felt like I had come home. 8 years full time in one town and I am now again starting a new life for myself here in Vancouver. No one knows anything about my background here and I plan on keeping it so.
Well, hon, I will sincerely pray for you and Gina to continue with your plans. I know how I would feel if Wing Walker were to leave, I probably would be too devastated to...... I will not write the rest. You both have each and you both love each other and wish to commit to one another. I pray that the both of you will hang-in there.
You didn't do anything wrong to Gina's parents. Someone changed their minds shortly after learning about Gina and you committing to one another. I will not say anything defamatory about her parents since I do not know them enough to make any judgments. I will make assessments about a person, but never shall I make judgments on another. Again I will say, please do not be so hard on yourself, you didn't do anything wrong. You just made a valiant effort to bring all said family together. The odds of that working out is on a batting average of somewhere between 10 to zero.
I will tell you though what does work quite well and that is for people like us, we get lonely and we do need some type of companionship and some of us will not necessarily go for either of the other sex. We chose another trans person of the same gender to commit to, then we discover that we had never experienced anything in any other relationships we had in the past. This love is soul deep, hon to the point we do read each others minds. I do pray that you and Gina never let this special union just fly away, to sublimate into nothingness in the air.
Cindy
Thanks Cindy. Your comments are very well recieved on this end. I'm not worried about her leaving, just like I am not worried about me leaving her. We have commited to each other and that is what shall keep us together. I was hoping for a good relationship with her family though. They were all so nice to me. I know that the odds are very slim that they were to be OK with what they had found out. I guess I' m a dreamer and wanted to live in this perfect world were everyone got along, no matter what race, gender, or religous and sexual preference. I should have known better than that, after all that's all that is on the news. We tried to keep it from them, there were just things about me that gave me away, my large hands(which I could very easily play the piano with), my jawline (which I can't do anything about without winning the lottery or something), my not so girlish waist(which I can do something about), and my voice that is lower than most womens ( which I am still constantly working on). The funny thing was, is that it wasn't my mannerisms, or choice of clothes, or the way that I put on make up, or my very contagious smile that gave me away. So I guess I go on with this untill all is said and done and still hope that they may come to grips with it soon so we can have two families instead of just one. We arn't giving up. We are still going ahead with everything that we have planned and that makes me very happy. I am so glad that you are here to talk to. Thanks for everything and I will talk with you later. Unfortunatly I still have to go to work, so I guess I need to get ready. Ta ta for now.
JESSI
Thanks Cindy for being our light at the end of a long dark tunnel. Your kind heartfelt words are really giving us a lot of hope to a desperate situation. My mom has just given me the week off from work to look for another job and to decide waht is best for me. She's given me a week, and if I decide to go with Jessi :eusa_clap: then I will get my sepeartion papers and will either be moving to St. Louis, MO to be with Jessi or working to save enugh money before I go. I guess that's what it's come down to.
It is a real shame that my family had a change of heart towards Jessi after learning the truth about her, and that does hurt. Had a very serious talk with my mom about accepting me now as I am due to teh chanegs that have happened to me due to my accident. My psychiatrist told me that I have damage to the frontal lobe of my brain which controls my social behavior, so I told her that that is why I am gay and transgendered and that I can't be the same 'normal' boy that she had before my accident.
Now I am just really so happy for Jessi that her transition is going so smoothly without too many bumps in the road, and she knows that I'll always be there with her to ge through those bumps. I'm gald to hear that your transition wnet well too Cindy. It really makes life so much easier when the people closest around understand and are very supportive towards you, like her family has been. I am very committed to our relationship, and I won't leave you Jessi, until death do us part. Now in closing my mom tried so much to use her religous beliefs against what I'm doing, but this is what I am and this is who I am and this is the way that God made me. As soon as we emerge out of our mother's womb we enter into a world of sin, and there is no way around it.
Gina :icon_dance:
Well, let's fill you in on what has transpired since this morning. I had a very wordy discussion with her mother. She proceeded to tell me everything that was wrong with her and that the only reason she is in love with me is because of her accident when she was little. What a crock of dodo. You don't just wake up and go, "hmmm, I want to be a trans, that sounds like fun." I'm not saying that it's not possible, but very unlikely. Needless to say, she told me how much I was ruining their family and destroying everything that they have achieved. I am solely responsible for there marital problems now. Some of her other relatives said that I was using her as a social experiment. Do you know how much that hurts a woman? I am supposilbly not able to keep a marriage together with women, so now I am trying it with their son. So then she tells me that she has given her a week to choose between me or them. What a good mom. Always trying to make her son happy. Yes, I'm a little ticked off right now. She has offended me and all that are like me. WOW, to have such a severe change of heart about someone, I never would have thought that it would happen so severely. Dislike, yes, hate, maybe, but to make them choose between family or love, how cruel can you get. I'm not sure if I should let her make that choice. I know that she will choose me, but is that really best? Should I let her give up her family for me, who she has only known for almost three months? I want this to work and I still would love to spend the rest of my life with her, but is it right? That is the question that I need to figure out. Oh, by the way, her mom told me, fine you can go ahead and steal my son from me. What?! I wasn't stealing anybody, I was spending time with the one that I love. How is that stealing? Well, I appreciate you all letting me vent here. This is one experience that I wish I could forget ( not her, just her family stuff). Well, I guess I should give you all a break and I will talk at you all later.
JESSI, the confused and ticked off and madly in love jessi.
Unfortunately my mom is grasping at straws again. I had a talk with her and I told her that she's going to have to accept me for who I am and not what I was before my accident. I have acepted the changes in my life and I am comfortable with them. She is not. So she'll always use my accident as an excuse for what I do, and grant it there is probably a small precentage that has to do with it. I can attest to the fact that I've had sever brain damage, and that the left side of my brain is void. Jessi has seen my entire report on my accident so she knows what is going on. My dad is having a hard time accepting all of this so I've hardly seen or spoken to him in the last few days. Becasue he hasn't conversed much with my mom, she thinks that it's ruining their marriage.Hopefully he'll come to understand it's my life and it's what I choose. Now I couldn't believe that accusation that Jessi is using me like a guenia pig to see how things would be from a woman's perspective. Totally ludicrous.I could go on, but I'm really starting to be spitefull towards my mom because of these insane choices that she's giving me. She's only pushing me further away now.
Gina :icon_dance:
I do pray that you two are not planing on splitting up. It seems I have two mature individuals that should be able to make their own decisions. Darn it I been up all night trying to sort something out that could be workable for the both of you. As I see it taking your job away from you Gina is nothing short of F'n cruel. Gees where the heck does Jessi live, and how long does it take to drive there or take a bus whichever. If you love each other then that might be the only way for the both of you to be together.
Why waste another moment having cruel people controlling your life? Gina do you remember what I told you about the Bitch from Hell? my ex. Well even a mouse has to have a back bone and take it's chances and leave the mouse hole and hope they can get out that open window before big foot swats it with that news paper. That's exactly what I did. For me it was not just peace at any price I was escaping possibly getting killed from the beatings and abuse. My Wing Walker is an angel in comparison to the bitch from hell. Well I think I am going to take a break and at least have a nap. See you two later. Vancouver is still an option.
Cindy
No. Splitting us up would be the last thing that we would be thinking of doing. We've got to much super glue between us that you'd have to pry us apart with a crow bar. Jessi lives in St. Louis, Mo, which is about a twenty hour drive from where I live, or a two hour flight. Just a little short of funds right now, and I'm going to have to save before going anywhere, but thanks for the great advice Cindy.
Gina :icon_dance:
Hi Gina hon can Jessi assist you with some funds to facilitate your moving? My feelings are that you need to get out of there as soon as you can. That is my intuition speaking or what I have come to call my little voice. I don't like the feel of this or what they are capable of doing.
I will send prayers for healing and protective energy
Cindy
Hi ya Cindy, I really do appreciate all your words of wisdom. I to agree that the way she is going about her disaproval is cruel. I would even go as far as saying cruel and unusual punishment. To take away her livly hood because she doesn't agree with what I am doing, Thats just insane. I would love for her tp move here. Small prob though. Is I am currently living with my parents. I had to sell my house because the job that I have now doesn't pay that much. I couldn't keep up with the mortage so I had to move back in with them till I can get enough saved up to be back out on my own. I don't make that much as is and with the child support taking half of my paycheck imediatly, it is hard to get ahead in this day and age. I would be more than willing to help out to get her here with what I can. But when she gets here we will have to figure out where to live and what kind of job we can get her and quick. I do so much agreee that she needs to get out of there but she needs to have a place to live set up before making that move. I hope that makes sense and doesn't sound weird. I do love her and I will help out with it as much as possible, I just don't think that it will be very much, at least moneterily anyway. My parents house is not that big and I don't think that they would call this a very good idea. I think that it may be a little to strange for them, but I will ask and talk to them about it. They have supported me thruout my transition, so if it is possible they would tell me. I'll keep you informed Cindy. Thanks for your kind words. I wouldn't stay up to late trying to fix our problem. Hell, I don't even know what to do. But it really shows us both that you do care full heartedly about us. Thanks for your continuing support and I will talk with you later. You can also PM me if you want to talk without airing all this out.
JESSI
I'm sorry to hear that Jessi. I really got to love you two but there appears that there is nothing else I can suggest to to assist you both. I will continue sending prayers but, well I am only human and I am stumped. Seems that every rout to try to get you two together have been barricaded. I'll just go sit in the corner and cry at least I still know how to do that.
Love
Cindy
Hey Jessi, that's so cool that you'd put yourself out like that for me, but I don't want to impose. We'll find some way soon of getting together and making things right and soon we'll be able to put this whole mess behind us and forget about it.
Cindy, you've done more than you can think for Jessi and I. You've given us a lot of hope and kept everything in a good perspective. Dry up your tears and put a smile on your face for us :)
Gina :icon_dance:
Hi Jessi and Gina.
Jessi you are quite correct about not airing out our panties on this board at this time, or maybe any time. A lot of people here wouldn't know much more as to what to do here, except to be more of a distraction then asset. Many have yet to figure just who and what they are themselves yet and truly need to keep moving forward on their transitional journey, because this trip is not that easy to acomplish.
And I do respect both of your privacy. Well I will still be around somewhere one the board. You may send a PM or leave a post on this thread, either way your messages pop up here and on PM. I really wish there was more I could do for you two, I truly do. But I'm still restricted with these handcuffs that are restricting me from doing anything in the physicality part of this situation
Hi Jessi and Gina I thought maybe that this thread should be for the discussion to the topic we have stared. I deleted all the other topic that wasn't really pertaining to this topic
Let me know how you both are doing.
Cindy
Due to some unexpected circumstances, Jessi and I are now just good friends, but on a good side, right after we broke up, I met this really nice woman (in truth I've known her for eight months) and we're getting married on May 16, 2008. :icon_bunch:
Gina :icon_dance:
Hi Gina, Jessi,
Congrats, Gina, on finding a partner. I do pray you have yourself a wonderful life.
Starting a new relationship is always an adventure into the known and the unknown, too. There is fun and excitement to be had but there is always an element of danger in getting to know one another. Please do be careful as you enter a new time of wonderment.
I do not know you well enough to make any comment of any depth of acuracy about who Gina and Jessie trully are. I can olny share some that I experienced like pain, physical, mental, and/or spiritually from all those years of pain I have experienced. It can take a very long time before one is able to feel this pain drained away. There are unseen and unknown scars also to work through. I had to heal as well as I could before I was ready for the joy and risks of a new relationship *before* I would even contemplate having any kind of relationship again. I would get frightened to, where I needed to pull back for a time, to allow myself some time to reflect on the impact of what this relationship would entail. I would need time to build enough trust in this individual before I could accept another to share my life with. The going was very tentative at first, sometimes at the sign of danger I would crawl under my rock where I felt safest in this troubled world.
But eventually I learned to accept and trust Wing Walker into my life. After four years living together our love and caring for one another has grown strong and unshakable.
Cindy
Hey ya Cindy,
I agree with you totally. I am going to have to have some time alone before I engage in any type of relationship again. I have taken the breakup harder than expected and don't feel that I can jump in with anyone else right now. We both agreed that it wasn't going to work. The marriage thing was to much for us to overcome. The fact that it wouldn't be legal anywhere but where it were to be performed was, in my opinion, the straw that broke the camels back. The problems that her family made for us was not that easy on us either. For me, it wouldn't have mattered much if or if not we got married. I know that in the long run we would have been happy, but, for her, she wanted that paper that said we were and that it was legal. I do wish the best for her and I hope she has truly found the one that she wants. I know from past experiences that divorce is a B__ch!
We still talk to each other, but it is definitely different than when we were together. I hope that I can stay in contact with her, but my gut is telling me to let the whole thing go. That is one of the things that I need to figure out. Should I stay in touch because we both kinda want to, or just fade away and let us both get on our marry way. Decisions, I hate them! Why do they have to be so hard to make! I do wish them both happiness and a long life together. It does hurt a little to know that she can move on that quick after the things that we went thru, and get married in less than a month. It makes me wonder if she ever felt the way that she told me she did at all. Yes, I am a little upset, but, her life is her life and it is not my life or decision to make. Thanks for all your kind thoughts and sorry if we ended up wasting your time. I hope that we can still keep in touch here at the site, Cindy. Your wisdom and input on things are invaluable.
Jessi
Hi Jessie, After Susan's went down last night I see some posts are missing. I know I posted to you later then the last post here shows. Well since Susan's went (((Pooooof!!))) last night it's been kind of boring just sitting around doin nothin and not much going on on other groups. Paula and I went to get our nails done and had fun telling jokes then we left the salon and went to the A&W to have a whistle dog and pouting then went driving around. "Hee, hee, hee." Sometimes it pays to pretend to be a little girl again. "OK mommy, stop the car, I wanna got pick flowers." :D
Cindy
Gina will return.
My new fiancee is quite acceptable to me being a cross-dresser. Everynight I wear my pretty nightgowns to bed and when she gets up in the morning she'll ask me if she can borrow a pair of my knee highs, which I'm always glad to give to her. Amazingly enough, we also have the same size feet, so we also share shoes and sometimes she borrows my makeup when she wants to look really nice when we're going out on the town. We're really looking forward to next Friday (5-16-08) when we will bring our lives together as one.
Gina :icon_dance:
Quote from: jessi73 on May 01, 2008, 08:33:06 PM
Hey ya Cindy,
I agree with you totally. I am going to have to have some time alone before I engage in any type of relationship again. I have taken the breakup harder than expected and don't feel that I can jump in with anyone else right now. We both agreed that it wasn't going to work. The marriage thing was to much for us to overcome. The fact that it wouldn't be legal anywhere but where it were to be performed was, in my opinion, the straw that broke the camels back. The problems that her family made for us was not that easy on us either. For me, it wouldn't have mattered much if or if not we got married. I know that in the long run we would have been happy, but, for her, she wanted that paper that said we were and that it was legal. I do wish the best for her and I hope she has truly found the one that she wants. I know from past experiences that divorce is a B__ch!
We still talk to each other, but it is definitely different than when we were together. I hope that I can stay in contact with her, but my gut is telling me to let the whole thing go. That is one of the things that I need to figure out. Should I stay in touch because we both kinda want to, or just fade away and let us both get on our marry way. Decisions, I hate them! Why do they have to be so hard to make! I do wish them both happiness and a long life together. It does hurt a little to know that she can move on that quick after the things that we went thru, and get married in less than a month. It makes me wonder if she ever felt the way that she told me she did at all. Yes, I am a little upset, but, her life is her life and it is not my life or decision to make. Thanks for all your kind thoughts and sorry if we ended up wasting your time. I hope that we can still keep in touch here at the site, Cindy. Your wisdom and input on things are invaluable.
Jessi
Hi Jessi.
I'm so sorry it didn't work-out for you, but as you say at least you found out before it was too late or complicated.
Anyway I hope you are not too hurt or disapointed and that eventually you will find your true love and happyness in a solid and stable mutually good, supportive and apreciative relationship. You don't deserve any less!
HLL&R
Maebh
Hi Maebh
Yea I am a little worried about Jessi, I do pray that all is well with her and she will get back and let us know.
Cindy
Hi Cindy and Maebh,
I am still here. Just stayin low, I have been doin ok and just don't know what to think right now. I knew that I would act like this if things went south and they did so thats why. I still read the forums and sit there and go "should I post?" then I chicken back out and go look at something else. I feel horrible that I wasted your alls time. I had no idea it would turn out like this. Oh well, you live and you learn. I will be back to my old self soon and you will hear from me a lot more. Right now, it's just best if I wait in the wings for some one to coax me out like you did tonight. I am glad to hear from you both. And glad to see that you still care about how I am doing. I promise to stay in touch.
Jessi
Hi, Jessi73,
Well, never feel like you need to go under your rock. At least check under the rock before you sit on it. If you see a little white furry critter with the pink eyes under it, that would be my imaginary pet, her name is Clarabelle. Yeah, sometimes she gets a notion to go to wandering off.
*HURTING* I done that, too, along the way. The*hurting thing,* self destruction, are just as serious a problem as loneliness.* I have been there many times, especially during my adult years.
The best choice I could have ever made was leaving my ex from hell. I have always been a sensitive person, years before I even knew what TS meant, let alone entertaining any thoughts about transitioning. This I especially felt to a much deeper degree once I was on HRT. It is as though intuition is being second to none competition with my sensitivities. Now I do think these abilities are quite consistent, just at different levels of evolution in the human psyche.
Please don't you run off, trying to run away from yourself, and hide under your rock. That was one thing I couldn't do, to successfully run away from myself. "Nah!" It won't work because you cannot run away from yourself, but you can change your perspective on life. I will pray that your hurting will soon go it's way.
As for time, no problem, I am not moving soon, at least not that I am aware of. As for lending folks my shoulder to cry on, every now and again I meet a delightful person I wish I could take home and they could talk to me until the wee hours of the morning. She speaks my language and I hers.
Please feel free to drop a line here or PM at any time you wish.
Just read your replies Cindy, and I found them very comforting. I didn't mean to hurt Jessi by falling in love with her and then breaking it off with her, but there was just too many complications with keeping a relationship with her. She had at least met my (unannounced) fiancee when she was down here for that week.
Gina :icon_dance:
Quote from: Gina Taylor on May 12, 2008, 11:34:51 AM
Just read your replies Cindy, and I found them very comforting. I didn't mean to hurt Jessi by falling in love with her and then breaking it off with her, but there was just too many complications with keeping a relationship with her. She had at least met my (unannounced) fiancee when she was down here for that week.
Gina :icon_dance:
Hi Gina.
??? Sorry for being blunt or stupid, but am I the only one a bit confused? Did you intend to become a bigamist at the time? Also what's the rush about getting married? Anyway I wish you both happiness and sincerely hope everything works out for the best.
HLL&R
Maebh
Now I've never though of myself as a bigamy, because I never approached Jessi with an engagement ring and the proper proposal for marriage. She came down for a week to see how we'd get along together and unfortunately problems did come up and those problems couldn't be overlooked. Now I am going to be 40 years old this year and I would like to settle down and have a romantic union with a special person in my life, which is considered a monogamous heterosexual marriage.
Gina :icon_dance:
Hi Gina. I'm sorry that you and Jessi split up. I'm also happy for inpending marriage. I congratulate you and pray all the best for both of you.
Gennee
:)
I'm really sorry things turned out the way they did Jessi. I hope you all the best.
Thanks for your kind heart felt words Gennee. I'm really sorry that Jessi and I had to split up. I was hoping that we could have stayed friends, but I guess it wasn't meant to be. Today I am going to the Court House with my fiancee and her 20 year old daughter to get married and we're hoping for a long and joyful marriage. :icon_bunch:
Hi Gina Taylor I will pray that all will go well with your new partner. I do not know enough about what transpired between you and Jessi to make any judgments on e way or the other. I was somewhat chagrined when I heard it wasn't going to work out. Jessi is OK she's just taking a we bit of time off the board.
Cindy
Quote from: Gina Taylor on May 16, 2008, 09:30:52 AM
Today I am going to the Court House with my fiancee and her 20 year old daughter to get married and we're hoping for a long and joyful marriage. :icon_bunch:
:icon_bunch: Congratulations and best of everything to the happy couple, their families and friends. :icon_drunk:
HLL&R
Maebh.
Thanks Maebh for your kind and thoughtful words,
We got married at 1 pm on Friday and my fiance had picked out the wedding vows that were recited by the Justice of the Peace and then we did the exchanging of the rings and then we were unionized! Had a wonderful reception the following night with 160 people at the American Veteran's post, and we recieved some very nice and thoughtful gifts and a word of advice: Don't play leapfrog with a unicorn.
Y'know Cindy, I hope to hear from Jessi some time. I'd still like to be friends with her. :icon_tetter:
Gina :icon_dance:
Congratulations to you and your spouse, Gina. I pray that there are many happy years ahead for you both.
Gennee
:) :)
Gina,
Congratulations to you and your new bride. I wish you both a lifetime of love. :icon_bunch: :icon_bunch:
Louise
Hiya Gina,
Sorry about the no hearfroms as of late.... Congrats, I wish you and your new bride many years of happiness and love.
Jessi
Hi Jessi, glad to see you again. if you have any desire to you can PM me and we can have a chit chat Ok?
Cindy
Hey Jessi,
Really nice to hear from you again. Thanks for your warm words. I will send them onto my bride. We extend our thanks to you as well Louise.
Gina :icon_dance:
Posted on: May 29, 2008, 09:29:47 AM
It's been a while, but I'm still around. My lovely wife has already got the calender marked for our second month of being married. Life has been fairly good. She had some heart problems a few weeks ago, but with a stent, it cleared up the small blockage and she's been feeling better. :icon_geekdance:
Gina :icon_dance:
Happy 2-month anniversary, Gina. It's good to know you and your wife are well.
Nichole
Gina,
Glad to hear that you are well. Congrats on the anniversary. :)
Hi there Gina! How are you?
Gennee
:)