Did therapy help deal with your feelings and cope with life or was it something you just did to
get your GRS?
I did it to confirm I wasnt insane then stopped after I got my HRT letter.....I'll go again when I have to start the 1 yr RLT to get my letter.
Quote from: Lori on October 16, 2007, 12:01:34 PM
I did it to confirm I wasnt insane then stopped after I got my HRT letter.....I'll go again when I have to start the 1 yr RLT to get my letter.
I did it in hopes I'd confirm I WAS insane, lol... and thus this whole GID thing was just a big delusion.
Yea... THAT worked out well for me, lol.
Anyways, therapy DID help me, but mostly in indirect ways. It's not so much that my therapist gave me great advice or anything, but talking to someone in person, and HAVING to verbalize my feelings helped clarify them for me. She also asked some good thought-provoking questions which helped me realize how I really felt. And even when we fought and argued, THAT really showed me how important certain things were to me, especially HRT.
Overall, I'm really really glad I did therapy - but it helped me more in ways I DIDN'T expect.
Like Lori, I stopped going many months ago, shortly after going fulltime. But I plan to get back into it soon to get my SRS letter(s), as my RLT is over half-done.
~Kate~
Amanda- i just started therapy, and i was very excited after my first day. But, it's early in my transition...VERY EARLY. What I like was how my therapist didn't make me feel weird, but rather comfortable even though I hardly presented as 'female looking' right now...long story.
I just took this psych test I guess they make everyone take, i dunno. It was called the MCMI test and it evaluated my over all emotional state...blah blah blah. My next appointment with my therapist is next Monday on the 22nd, and I guess the test results will be in, the cop's called, a major stand off with anti-TS / TG religious-outback neo-nazi law enforcement agencies will ensue here in Arizona!!! .... ;D j/k >:D (i'm sorry, i really love this 'devil' smiley >:D >:D >:D >:D )
What Kate said is great advice as well, hell everyone here has great advice!!!
Good luck!!!
("outback neo-nazi law enforcement agencies"- thank you Hunter S. Thompson for the quote :-* )
I didn't enjoy therapy really much. All it was was some person who at first told me I was too young to transition, then who said I needed more time to sort out everything on the inside! Blah blah blah :D
Either way you have to do it though sadly enough heh.
I'm here, alive, answering this thread, am I not? That's how much therapy helped me. Even now, nine months after my SRS, I still go to my therapy sessions. I have this special bond with my therapist (she is the only one that truly KNOWS me *giggles*) I enjoy our conversations very much even if they are only for one hour..
tink :icon_chick:
I dont need to talk to a theripist to sort myself out... I just need to talk to someone... my EX was probably the best out of everyone Ive ever dealt with.... My theripist is great but really, I see seeing her as a leagle necesity and otherwise a waste of monies better directed elsewhere. My first theripist was an extreem waste of cash and total waste *Shrugs*
Counseling was a very helpful for me, I still go from time to time even though I got my HRT letter 5 months ago. I didn't think I would like my councilor but It worked out just great.
Therapy helped me a ton in dealing with my issues (I have a lot). I mostly received help in my person to person communication skills and building my confidence and self-esteem. Unfortunately before I moved to Purdue we never got to really go over my paranoia issues...
I am so glad I had somewhere to go before I knew I needed to go there. I would not of made it without that connection before my breakdowns.
Alice
QuoteAnyways, therapy DID help me, but mostly in indirect ways. It's not so much that my therapist gave me great advice or anything, but talking to someone in person, and HAVING to verbalize my feelings helped clarify them for me. She also asked some good thought-provoking questions which helped me realize how I really felt. And even when we fought and argued, THAT really showed me how important certain things were to me, especially HRT.
Overall, I'm really really glad I did therapy - but it helped me more in ways I DIDN'T expect.
May I second that, Kate?
I had two gender therapists. The first helped me validate that I had GID and that my true self had always been female. She asked direct questions and challenged me to be true to myself. She wrote my HRT letter 90 days after I started therapy with her. She moved away but we are still in-touch.
After I started HRT I saw another therapist to help me start my true life. In this case it was the conversations that benefited me most. I actually had another woman with whom I discussed everything in my life, hear myself say it, and get a thoughtful, constructive answer.
I was lucky in that my health insurance reimbursed me 50% for anything I paid to licensed practitioners, like psychiatrists, psychologists, and therapists, otherwise it would have been far fewer sessions than I needed.
I have been full-time me for almost 4 years. I finally like myself, at last, I like myself (Borrowed from Harry Chapin's "Sequel").
Wing Walker
Enjoying My Adventure
I didnt see the point of paying 80 dollars and hour just to hear what I already know. There is really only so much a therapist can do. I feel in my case this is a mental battle with myself and while a good therapist can help guide you, it was me in the end that had to go out and face life. And with places like Susans or other internet recourses I can ask all the silly questions and sort through a multitude of answers and ideas. It expands my database ten fold.....and it only costs what I pay for an internet connection at home.
I do things differently anyhow....like I said I'm a pickle. It would seem to me that many cannot wait until they go fulltime. I can.....due to financial reasons wich will not be cleared up until next August. I am going to wait until I cannot pass in boy mode anymore, and when society says..hey you are a girl....then I'd better start doing as the girls do. Until then, I choose the path of --- I am not a bold in your face accept me for who I am type of person and even though I look like a man you have to treat me like a woman!!--- I am totally way too sensitive to be bashed upon, sneered to, and laughed at. When I HAVE to go fulltime, then its time for me and I will go back to therapy. If that day never comes, then I will curse the gods and exit gracefully.
Those that are young or those that pass fairly easy and soon probably should be in therapy to help with coming out at work and stuff. Their timetable is a quick one and they dont have much time to sit and think about everything with all the chaos in their lives. My appearence and timetable dictates I wait and stew in my HRT juices for a while....so again spending money on a therapist is really not necessary atm.
In the end, you know deep inside if you need it or not. I sought it out when I felt I needed it for me.
I was in total meltdown and needed an objective person to talk to, so I gave therapy a try on my wife's prodding. It saved my life. I was depressed, had my suicide letter written and was researching on the internet the various ways to exit this life.
These days it is helping me cope with marriage issues and my starting HRT. I promised my wife I wouldn't begin hormones until next year. Now that the new year is close I have chosen to begin HRT on my birthday in March - a symbolic rebirth.
Therapy is not for everyone but I needed the help.
Maya
You will get out of therapy as much as you are willing to put into it.
Quote from: Tink on October 16, 2007, 07:44:28 PM
I'm here, alive, answering this thread, am I not? That's how much therapy helped me. Even now, nine months after my SRS, I still go to my therapy sessions. I have this special bond with my therapist (she is the only one that truly KNOWS me *giggles*) I enjoy our conversations very much even if they are only for one hour..
tink :icon_chick:
I feel the same way about my therapist. I love seeing her. She's amazing at what she does. Transgendered patients have been her speciality for 15 years, and she's just an utter delight to talk to.
If only I didn't have to pay for it out of my pocket.
Quote from: maybe_amanda on October 16, 2007, 11:41:59 AM
Did therapy help deal with your feelings and cope with life or was it something you just did to
get your GRS?
I've never actually had any therapy. What does it mean? I went to a U.K NHS London Gender Clinic for just over 6 years and spoke to a few psychiatrists but I wouldn't call it therapy. It was mostly arguements and it wasn't a nice experience. They didn't have any treatment program and were reluctant to talk about patients needs and were quite agressive. The experience was very negative and whatever you talked about or needed they woudn't ever listen.
I've had to work through everything on my own and organise by own treatment program and get on the internet to find the right people to do the right surgery. There may be more support in the U.S but here you have to rely on your self more...
Quote
I've never actually had any therapy. What does it mean? I went to a U.K NHS London Gender Clinic for just over 6 years and spoke to a few psychiatrists but I wouldn't call it therapy. It was mostly arguements and it wasn't a nice experience. They didn't have any treatment program and were reluctant to talk about patients needs and were quite agressive. The experience was very negative and whatever you talked about or needed they woudn't ever listen.
I've had to work through everything on my own and organise by own treatment program and get on the internet to find the right people to do the right surgery. There may be more support in the U.S but here you have to rely on your self more...
That's strange. From what I've always understood, the U.S is atrocious about caring for people with gender issues compared to the UK and Europe in general. That's pretty common knowledge, isn't it? Perhaps back then it was just horrid no matter where you went in the world. True specialists in the field as far as therapists are concerned didn't start really popping up until about 15 years ago - at least not in any significant numbers.
How much did therapy help?
Very much. Couldnt have managed without my counselor. The pain was too great and wasnt trained to accept the things I couldnt change.
I worked with a therapist for about three years, she specialized in transgender issues. It helped me a lot to sort through everything. I haven't been in therapy for years now, but still sorting :)
Z
Quote from: Blair on October 18, 2007, 04:23:10 AM
Quote
I've never actually had any therapy. What does it mean? I went to a U.K NHS London Gender Clinic for just over 6 years and spoke to a few psychiatrists but I wouldn't call it therapy. It was mostly arguements and it wasn't a nice experience. They didn't have any treatment program and were reluctant to talk about patients needs and were quite agressive. The experience was very negative and whatever you talked about or needed they woudn't ever listen.
I've had to work through everything on my own and organise by own treatment program and get on the internet to find the right people to do the right surgery. There may be more support in the U.S but here you have to rely on your self more...
That's strange. From what I've always understood, the U.S is atrocious about caring for people with gender issues compared to the UK and Europe in general. That's pretty common knowledge, isn't it? Perhaps back then it was just horrid no matter where you went in the world. True specialists in the field as far as therapists are concerned didn't start really popping up until about 15 years ago - at least not in any significant numbers.
Whatever you've heard about the U.K....you've heard wrong.....check the suicide rate if you get tme....the U.K has an appalling record for gender dysphoria: http://www.petitiononline.com/nhsgidsp/petition.html
I'm one of many who have been screwed around by the system....
I cannot speak for the rest of Europe.....but from what I've heard Germany and Holland are very good..
Quote from: redfish on October 18, 2007, 11:26:50 AM
I was in therapy before coming out, so yeah
I wish we had some kind of therapy or councelling in the U.K.......
Pretty much, I saw the therapists to get my surgery. And along the way, I received some help.
I think that getting therapy is a necessity in helping us along the way. Even if your mind is clear, we still have a lot of additional crap heaped upon us. It's nice to have a level headed, unbiased, and trained professional to help us see the signs on the road we travel.
Cindi
I've got to say that therapy helped me to set my priorities straight and opt for the right course in my transition.
Also, I would like to ask all of you to include your therapists' names and location under this link in order to help the new comers. Thanks a bunch kitty cats!
https://www.susans.org/Medical/Therapists_and_Counselors/
tink :icon_chick:
Quote from: Berliegh on October 18, 2007, 03:06:42 PM
Quote from: redfish on October 18, 2007, 11:26:50 AM
I was in therapy before coming out, so yeah
I wish we had some kind of therapy or councelling in the U.K.......
aw, c'mon! are you saying they don't have gender therapists in the UK??!!
-ell
Quote from: ell on October 18, 2007, 11:21:40 PM
Quote from: Berliegh on October 18, 2007, 03:06:42 PM
Quote from: redfish on October 18, 2007, 11:26:50 AM
I was in therapy before coming out, so yeah
I wish we had some kind of therapy or councelling in the U.K.......
aw, c'mon! are you saying they don't have gender therapists in the UK??!!
-ell
That's right, we don't.....I don't even know what a therapist does? the U.K doesn't have any kind of structure, councelling or help available like that for Gender Dysphoria. Ask Rachael or Fruity as well if you don't believe me..Also check out the link on the 'NHS or private' thread..
Quote from: Berliegh on October 19, 2007, 07:07:43 AM
Quote from: ell on October 18, 2007, 11:21:40 PM
Quote from: Berliegh on October 18, 2007, 03:06:42 PM
Quote from: redfish on October 18, 2007, 11:26:50 AM
I was in therapy before coming out, so yeah
I wish we had some kind of therapy or councelling in the U.K.......
aw, c'mon! are you saying they don't have gender therapists in the UK??!!
-ell
That's right, we don't.....I don't even know what a therapist does? the U.K doesn't have any kind of structure, councelling or help available like that for Gender Dysphoria. Ask Rachael or Fruity as well if you don't believe me..Also check out the link on the 'NHS or private' thread..
but, but Redfish is from the U.K., and she says she went to therapy...
Ok, so where did Redfish go? I imagine it was private as the NHS do not offer any services like therapy...
I went to a NHS London GIC for 6 years and no treatment or therapy was facilitated in the time I attended.
Quote from: Berliegh on October 19, 2007, 10:35:24 AM
Ok, so where did Redfish go? I imagine it was private as the NHS do not offer any services like therapy...
I went to a NHS London GIC for 6 years and no treatment or therapy was facilitated in the time I attended.
Berliegh, you're funny! Gender therapists are private in the U.S., too.
i've gone to a gender therapist since i started my transition, and i've paid 100 percent of the costs myself.
Likewise with my endocrinologist. i've paid
all the expenses on my own, and all the prescriptions. and i'm not exactly rich, you know? it's just that i've made it a priority.
We don't
have an NHS in the U.S. Here, in most cases, when it comes to transitioning, you pay for it yourself, or you go without. i've got health insurance with my job, and it covers
nothing for transitioning.
since i am afraid to get surgery overseas, i am literally looking at least $20,000 that i'll need to cough up, on my own, to get SRS. but before that, maybe another $10,000 or $15,000 for FFS.
-ell
Quote from: redfish on October 19, 2007, 06:12:33 PM
I'm from North America
Redfish, i swear to god, if you don't stop bothering me. oh wait, you're not really bothering me anymore.
but you're still on my list.
your nemesis,
-ell
Quote from: ell on October 19, 2007, 04:13:21 PM
Quote from: Berliegh on October 19, 2007, 10:35:24 AM
Ok, so where did Redfish go? I imagine it was private as the NHS do not offer any services like therapy...
I went to a NHS London GIC for 6 years and no treatment or therapy was facilitated in the time I attended.
Berliegh, you're funny! Gender therapists are private in the U.S., too.
i've gone to a gender therapist since i started my transition, and i've paid 100 percent of the costs myself.
Likewise with my endocrinologist. i've paid all the expenses on my own, and all the prescriptions. and i'm not exactly rich, you know? it's just that i've made it a priority.
We don't have an NHS in the U.S. Here, in most cases, when it comes to transitioning, you pay for it yourself, or you go without. i've got health insurance with my job, and it covers nothing for transitioning.
since i am afraid to get surgery overseas, i am literally looking at least $20,000 that i'll need to cough up, on my own, to get SRS. but before that, maybe another $10,000 or $15,000 for FFS.
-ell
I paid privately for my treatment as well. I started with the NHS London GIC but for 2 years they refused hormones and I wasn't getting anywhere fast. So I went private to start on hormones and got them the same day. I was still attending the NHS Clinic and my PCTwere paying them for my invisable treatment but they were doing absolutely nothing, I was running a parallel out of desperation and spending money I didn't have on private treatment. I'm glad I did and at first I was very nieve to think I would achieve anything though the NHS......
Gender therapy's made all the difference. What peeps have got to do is find a gender clinician that they confide in.
Quote from: Blanche on October 21, 2007, 05:19:00 AM
Gender therapy's made all the difference. What peeps have got to do is find a gender clinician that they confide in.
....and I've still never had any therapy..
Quote from: Berliegh on October 21, 2007, 01:46:42 PM
Quote from: Blanche on October 21, 2007, 05:19:00 AM
Gender therapy's made all the difference. What peeps have got to do is find a gender clinician that they confide in.
....and I've still never had any therapy..
OK Berliegh, that's it! gloves off.
you are and always have been a cute and girly girl. yet you complain, like redfish and Kate, about stuff that lots of us on this site would
love to have as problems.
Kate: "A man said 'Hi sweetie,' and held the door for me, and I felt like I was somehow tricking him..."
redfish: "I'm ordinary..." (also cute, smart, in college, scheduled for SRS soon, etc., etc., etc.)
Berliegh: "My boobs aren't big enough...i don't know what a gender therapist is..." (Hello? You're already a beautiful, fully realized young woman. Deal with
that! what do you need a gender therapist for?
i am still referred to,
everywhere i go, as Sir. now that, my dear, is a freakin' problem, ok? but do you hear me complaining about it? have i
ever said, oh dear, people call me Sir...(woe is me). no. instead, yesterday i went shopping and bought the most
beautiful girly blouse i have ever seen. and paid only a little more than ten dollars. then i went home, put a bobbie pin in my hair, spent an hour and fifteen minutes putting on eye liner, put on my new blouse, and went dancing.
it was so great. the cute bartender always gives me the eye, and sometimes kisses my hand.
it was "bear" night at the GLBT club, and i met this really nice boy that had never spoken to a person in the middle of transition. we had a very interesting conversation. after i went back and did some more dancing, i bumped into him on the way out, and he offered to walk me to my car, which i thought was really sweet.
so, my advice to you, Kate and redfish is, now's the time to start living, girls. the whole world is just waiting to see what you are going to do.
-ell
I think your eye is pretty ell :)
As for the other people, we all have our own insecurities and some people like to talk about them and express them while others, such as you I guess? would rather just deal with it and not talk about it?
Quote from: shanetastic on October 21, 2007, 05:32:45 PM
I think your eye is pretty ell :)
Oh, thank you!
ok, i will say, for the record, that i really
do like and respect Kate, redfish, and Berliegh. i just like to bug them a little (because they make me so jealous) and i am happy that they are having such great and successful transitions, though they themselves, apparently, don't seem to realize just how lucky they are...
-ell
Quote from: Lori on October 17, 2007, 07:47:16 AM
I do things differently anyhow....like I said I'm a pickle. It would seem to me that many cannot wait until they go fulltime. I can.....due to financial reasons wich will not be cleared up until next August. I am going to wait until I cannot pass in boy mode anymore, and when society says..hey you are a girl....then I'd better start doing as the girls do. Until then, I choose the path of --- I am not a bold in your face accept me for who I am type of person and even though I look like a man you have to treat me like a woman!!--- I am totally way too sensitive to be bashed upon, sneered to, and laughed at. When I HAVE to go fulltime, then its time for me and I will go back to therapy. If that day never comes, then I will curse the gods and exit gracefully.
Lori, thank you for putting into words what I've been feeling since the day I started HRT. I too am not in a big hurry.
-Dora
Quote from: ell on October 21, 2007, 06:00:50 PM
Quote from: shanetastic on October 21, 2007, 05:32:45 PM
I think your eye is pretty ell :)
Oh, thank you!
ok, i will say, for the record, that i really do like and respect Kate, redfish, and Berliegh. i just like to bug them a little (because they make me so jealous) and i am happy that they are having such great and successful transitions, though they themselves, apparently, don't seem to realize just how lucky they are...
-ell
Hehe oh. Well they've all be on like HRT for a year plus though haven't they ell. If I remember right you haven't been on for that long. . . I know it's been a little while of course but not that long if my memory still works. Try still having to live as a male until the end of December :D
Quote from: ell on October 21, 2007, 06:00:50 PM
ok, i will say, for the record, that i really do like and respect Kate, redfish, and Berliegh. i just like to bug them a little (because they make me so jealous) and i am happy that they are having such great and successful transitions, though they themselves, apparently, don't seem to realize just how lucky they are...
-ell
ell......thanks....and I'm flattered you think I Look ok.......but there's nothing successful about my transtion and to be honest I haven't really had a transition. The only thing that's happened to me is HRT so far. It's been a long journey....
and how do you know what Kate or Redfish look like?
Quote from: ell on October 21, 2007, 09:45:19 PM
i have read lots of posts by both Kate and redfish (despite being my arch nemeses, they are also two of my favorites on this site, but please don't tell them that) if you also go back and read their posts, you would see what i mean about their charmed lives; you won't need to see their pictures. though, Kate actually posted her pic(s) at one point, and she is naturally girly and cute; likewise, redfish temporarily posted her prom pic (which i didn't actually see) and everybody went gaga over it. if you ask her politely, she may post it, temporarily, again.
and as for you, i just don't know what to say! i take back what i said about you not even needing a gender therapist. er, maybe you should go see one, my dear.
a) may i suggest that you see a female gender therapist.
b) get a list of gender therapists in your area from your local NHS gender center, or from other Trans women that live in your area
c) don't rely on the NHS for anything else but information! set the money aside, yourself, for your first session, then contact the gender therapist either by phone or e-mail, and make an appointment.
d) expect that the therapist may take a week or so to schedule you in. if she estimates that it will take longer than that to see you, choose another therapist. in no case should you have to wait to longer than a week to 10 days to be seen.
in the meantime, please keep in mind that though you may not see yourself as transitioning successfully, we, other Trans women, see you as:
a) totally feminine in appearance
b) totally passable
c) totally feminine in personality
d) fully capable of (and succeeding at) the RLT
e) fully capable of going stealth if you wish to
f) successfully transitioning because of all of the above
-ell
I don't think so.......I think you are another planet Ell......I spent many years going through the NHS London GIC sytstem, 7 in all and I was denied HRT for 2 years and denied GRS after 7 years of the RLT. I have complied totally with the protocols of the HBSOC.......yet this is the way I was treated.
I had to go private to start on HRT and started on hormones the same day and 6 months after leaving the NHS London GIC I now two surgical proceedures lined up. I went through hell for 7 years with the NHS London GIC where I was bullied by two physichiatrists and not treated with any respect. I never saw any gender therapists while I attending the clinic. In some parts of the U.K the waiting list is anything up to 5 years to see a Psychiatrist...
Do I want a therapist? not really.....besides I don't know how to locate one? yellow pages? who knows? ......anyway I seem to be doing ok now I've started working on my own......and at last run my own ship...
Therapy was and still is a great thing for me, with the help of my therapist I was able to finally have enough courage to allow myself at first just to even think about being ts, then to finally and truly accept true female self.
My therapist didn''t tell me what to do, or tell me what I was or wasn't, she listened to what I had to say and then would ask some questions, or give me some ideas of how to go about certain things. She has been awesome and if wasn't for her I would still be absolutley miserbale. I plan on seeing her all the way through this journey of transitionong.
I can't wait to see her each time i have an appt, which can be up to a month at atime, due to the fact that I am a over the road truck driver, but hopefully not for much longer. The times when I am not able to see her for a month , she will let me email her to keep her updated on how I am doing.
I just love seeing her, and I am slo rateful to have her as my therapist.
So to answer your question I think therapy is an awesome idea and I very glad that I made the decsiion to start.
Hugz,
Ariana
the only thing i know about therapy is all the qualifications, badges and whatever they show you mean absolutely nothing.
some people with no qualifications and no training have helped me more in 5 minutes, than others with all the decorations would do in a life time.
i think you need a group of people you can trust, but ultimately wherever you choose to go in life has to come from yourself. If you are relying on other people to tell you who you are, they are always going to mess it up, no matter how good their intentions are..
hi please tell me why so many of you have to go to therapy whats going on .....i did not & i would not . i went to 1 psyco &1 endo 3 times to the endo then out they did not need to see me after that. just for my hrt tests . may be i told them what i was doing were i was going & that was that. then 3 years later srs & b a . mmmmm thinking is it that i am older .are you younger by some years ..is this the case to put it this way i will not take any rubish from any Drs or who ever trying to tell me other wise . as i hear from some i know . for me i know who i am & whats inside. so why are they then trying to say you not trans . whats going on....we have some neat Drs & 1 or2 psycos so for me it was good. i know some are not so good our d h bs are not the same as the n h s or yours in the states let me know how you go on this ........ noeleena ps.. i am not saying its not on to see your therapy drs just strange ......
Therapy was a tremendous help to me. I went in and told the therapist a few things:
1) that I did not have a high opinion of shrinks and therapists due to a bad experience when I was young
2) that I had no idea where I fell in the T spectrum and that I had to figure it out
She was patient, kind, and (the most helpful) smart. She retired right before I untransitioned on the first go 'round. The second therapist I saw I did it just for the letters. Do not get me wrong, she is good and I have a friend who said I saved her life by sending her to that therapist but I did not have issues to work out so it was more of a `going through the motions' sort of thing.
As I've never experienced therapy..
What do they actually do at therapy sessions? and in what way are they helpful? what is the criteria involved in a therapy session?
QuoteWhat do they actually do at therapy sessions? and in what way are they helpful? what is the criteria involved in a therapy session?
that is a good question.
my experience of NHS gender therapy, is me sitting down, and feeling incredibly intimidated for 40 minutes,
and having them ask me stupid questions and then having them try to twist them round to try and catch me out. It seems like a game to them.
example. I was asked a year or so ago, if i was sure about having SRS.
i said, 'im 100% sure, and i think after the RLT process i'll be 1000% sure'
the next time i saw them they said to me..
'danielle, you said to us you weren't at all sure about having SRS...we think you are being very ambigous. Maybe you are happy being androgenous.. its ok to be androgenous! but obviously we cant allow people like that to have SRS'the next time i went in with a tape recorder, and recorded the conversation.. since then they haven't seemed quite so clever.
i honestly think that some of them sit there and enjoy watching us squirm. Im willing to give them the benefit of the doubt, as they must get alot of wierdos coming in, but they are so accustomed to being in a position of power that when an irritating, self-aware bitch woman like me walks in, they don't know how to react.
i would never tell them anything about me again for risk to my transition. Now, I smile, show-off my tits and tell them exactly what they want to hear. Its down right pathetic, but thats what it is. I dont need some random person to tell me who i am.
honestly, if anything, i should be telling them exactly who they are.
a bunch of bloody morons who are so far up their own bum that they can probably see right out of their mouth.
The idea that a non-transwoman can ever really offer any therapy to a transexual woman, is so arrogant and frankly, discriminatory.
therapy? thats for people who are confused. Wierdos who have conversations with themselves in mcdonalds
Quote from: fruity on November 02, 2007, 06:54:19 AM
QuoteWhat do they actually do at therapy sessions? and in what way are they helpful? what is the criteria involved in a therapy session?
that is a good question.
my experience of NHS gender therapy, is me sitting down, and feeling incredibly intimidated for 40 minutes,
and having them ask me stupid questions and then having them try to twist them round to try and catch me out. It seems like a game to them.
example. I was asked a year or so ago, if i was sure about having SRS.
i said, 'im 100% sure, and i think after the RLT process i'll be 1000% sure'
the next time i saw them they said to me..
'danielle, you said to us you weren't at all sure about having SRS...we think you are being very ambigous. Maybe you are happy being androgenous.. its ok to be androgenous! but obviously we cant allow people like that to have SRS'
the next time i went in with a tape recorder, and recorded the conversation.. since then they haven't seemed quite so clever.
i honestly think that some of them sit there and enjoy watching us squirm. Im willing to give them the benefit of the doubt, as they must get alot of wierdos coming in, but they are so accustomed to being in a position of power that when an irritating, self-aware bitch woman like me walks in, they don't know how to react.
i would never tell them anything about me again for risk to my transition. Now, I smile, show-off my tits and tell them exactly what they want to hear. Its down right pathetic, but thats what it is. I dont need some random person to tell me who i am.
honestly, if anything, i should be telling them exactly who they are.
a bunch of bloody morons who are so far up their own bum that they can probably see right out of their mouth.
The idea that a non-transwoman can ever really offer any therapy to a transexual woman, is so arrogant and frankly, discriminatory.
therapy? thats for people who are confused. Wierdos who have conversations with themselves in mcdonalds
I think our friends in America now realise that we do not have the patient structured care like they do in the U.S. As Fruity rightly says it's mostly intimitation, abuse and trying to make you feel worthless. What I meant about 'Therapy' was the fact that there isn't any form of therapy going on in the U.K NHS system...
Quote from: Berliegh on November 02, 2007, 02:28:22 PM
I think our friends in America now realise that we do not have the patient structured care like they do in the U.S. As Fruity rightly says it's mostly intimitation, abuse and trying to make you feel worthless. What I meant about 'Therapy' was the fact that there isn't any form of therapy going on in the U.K NHS system...
That's just terrible. I mean OK, we in the US certainly have our "gatekeeper" issues to deal with, but there ARE good therapists around.
I will say though that my first experience with an actual psychiatrist wasn't very productive - although to be fair, he was the first person I'd EVER talked to about this, and I only went a few times. But compared to my therapist, the psych was much more clinical about it, where I felt like I was being tested and evaluated for every answer I gave. My therapist, in contrast, tends to ask questions only to guide me, to go deeper, to think of things I may be avoiding or missing - there's little sense of being "judged" for anything.
~Kate~
Quote from: Kate on November 02, 2007, 02:58:33 PM
Quote from: Berliegh on November 02, 2007, 02:28:22 PM
I think our friends in America now realise that we do not have the patient structured care like they do in the U.S. As Fruity rightly says it's mostly intimitation, abuse and trying to make you feel worthless. What I meant about 'Therapy' was the fact that there isn't any form of therapy going on in the U.K NHS system...
That's just terrible. I mean OK, we in the US certainly have our "gatekeeper" issues to deal with, but there ARE good therapists around.
I will say though that my first experience with an actual psychiatrist wasn't very productive - although to be fair, he was the first person I'd EVER talked to about this, and I only went a few times. But compared to my therapist, the psych was much more clinical about it, where I felt like I was being tested and evaluated for every answer I gave. My therapist, in contrast, tends to ask questions only to guide me, to go deeper, to think of things I may be avoiding or missing - there's little sense of being "judged" for anything.
~Kate~
I'm moving on therapist number three soon. I hate all of them with a passion so far. Yeah I'm really bitter like Berliegh now because of all this :P
The difference has been incomparable. I was recommended to my gender clinician thru my endocrinologist & I couldn't be happier.
Quote from: Valentina on November 02, 2007, 05:24:21 PM
The difference has been incomparable. I was recommended to my gender clinician thru my endocrinologist & I couldn't be happier.
In the U.K I had to find an endocrinlogist by looking on the internet. It's very DIY over here in that respect. I was attending a NHS Gender clinic in London and had to really push and fight with them in 2004 to employ an endocrinlogist. The gender clinics in the U.K don't have anyone available in a 'therapy' position or deal with people's problems and they don't have a treatment prgram or criteria. You have to invent your own treatment program and then you can go to thailand or San Francisco or wherever to get the various proceedure's done. I 'm not aware that they have therapists in the U.K, they may have some form of councelling for alchohol abuse or drug abuse but not for people with Gender Dysphoria.
I'm not bitter but I do think more information should be available in the U.K and people should be informed that they are on their own if they want ro transition. I lost 7 years of my life trying to fight a corrupt system..
Posted on: November 03, 2007, 06:46:33 AM
Quote from: shanetastic on November 02, 2007, 04:24:50 PM
I'm moving on therapist number three soon. I hate all of them with a passion so far. Yeah I'm really bitter like Berliegh now because of all this :P
I hope your not in the U.K too?
I I 'm not aware that they have therapists in the U.K, they may have some form of councelling for alchohol abuse or drug abuse but not for people with Gender Dysphoria.
[/quote]
Berliegh
Things are a little different here in Scotland UK, I have a counsellor who is a transgender counsellor and I am greatful for what the NHS is doing for me here. It still has its problems, things are slow or so it seems at times but things are in place here and it took about three months after my first appointment at the GID clinic to get a referral to see a counsellor. They are very good here and I look forward to the meetings.
I have heard London is not that good but the NHS in Devon in the South West of England has an excellent reputation as well. I think in the UK it is post code lottery as with anything with the NHS there is not a uniformed standard of care although there is supposed to be.
hugs
Nigella
Quote from: Nigella on November 03, 2007, 07:24:13 AM
Berliegh
Things are a little different here in Scotland UK, I have a counsellor who is a transgender counsellor and I am greatful for what the NHS is doing for me here. It still has its problems, things are slow or so it seems at times but things are in place here and it took about three months after my first appointment at the GID clinic to get a referral to see a counsellor. They are very good here and I look forward to the meetings.
I have heard London is not that good but the NHS in Devon in the South West of England has an excellent reputation as well. I think in the UK it is post code lottery as with anything with the NHS there is not a uniformed standard of care although there is supposed to be.
hugs
Nigella
So I'm told..... I have an appointment in Sandyford, Glasgow, Scotland next month....so let's hope it's a vast improvement to England...
I wasn't aware that anything existed in the Devon area? any details would be useful?
Quote from: Berliegh on November 03, 2007, 08:30:05 AM
Quote from: Nigella on November 03, 2007, 07:24:13 AM
Berliegh
Things are a little different here in Scotland UK, I have a counsellor who is a transgender counsellor and I am greatful for what the NHS is doing for me here. It still has its problems, things are slow or so it seems at times but things are in place here and it took about three months after my first appointment at the GID clinic to get a referral to see a counsellor. They are very good here and I look forward to the meetings.
I have heard London is not that good but the NHS in Devon in the South West of England has an excellent reputation as well. I think in the UK it is post code lottery as with anything with the NHS there is not a uniformed standard of care although there is supposed to be.
hugs
Nigella
So I'm told..... I have an appointment in Sandyford, Glasgow, Scotland next month....so let's hope it's a vast improvement to England...
I wasn't aware that anything existed in the Devon area? any details would be useful?
I might be wrong but I think its the Exeter NHS trust
Hope things go well next month
Nigella
Quote from: Nigella on November 03, 2007, 09:02:04 AM
I might be wrong but I think its the Exeter NHS trust
Hope things go well next month
Nigella
The problem is if you don't live in the Devon area yuo won't be able to see anyone no matter how good they might be. I got over the problem in Glasgow as I have another address in Scotland as well as here. If I didn't have a contact address in Scotland I wouldn't be able to attend their clinic either. It is a postcode lottery and those in the London area suffer the most..
Here's another example of the way transsexuals are treated ot rather not treated in the U.K:
http://www.yorkshirepost.co.uk/news/Patient-sues-over-long-wait.1327212.jp
My experience is very similar to Kate's -- having a set schedule just for me gave me something to grasp onto when I was quite depressed. My psychologist has yet to come up with an earth-shattering analysis of my condition, but has prodded me into doing it for myself. He's been supportive and thoughtful and never judgmental. He's read my writings and confirmed what I already knew about my psychology.
Early on, I was hoping he'd say that no, you don't have GID, but you *are* insane, but I never got that :) -- he said pretty much from the first couple of visits, "well, it's clear you've got GID," which was both a relief to me, but wasn't earthshattering since I already knew it. I think hearing it from an objective party helped build some momentum in me.
He didn't push, but has agreed with me at every stage of progress such as hormones. We are currently working on how my transition is affecting my wife and kids, which I'm clueless about.
Joyce
Quote from: Joyce on November 03, 2007, 02:38:27 PM
My experience is very similar to Kate's -- having a set schedule just for me gave me something to grasp onto when I was quite depressed. My psychologist has yet to come up with an earth-shattering analysis of my condition, but has prodded me into doing it for myself. He's been supportive and thoughtful and never judgmental. He's read my writings and confirmed what I already knew about my psychology.
Early on, I was hoping he'd say that no, you don't have GID, but you *are* insane, but I never got that :) -- he said pretty much from the first couple of visits, "well, it's clear you've got GID," which was both a relief to me, but wasn't earthshattering since I already knew it. I think hearing it from an objective party helped build some momentum in me.
He didn't push, but has agreed with me at every stage of progress such as hormones. We are currently working on how my transition is affecting my wife and kids, which I'm clueless about.
Joyce
It's obviously a different world as far as GID is concerened in America..
hi .... can i ask this ??? for me its was not the same i am 60 years of age . how old or young are you all. this seems to me to be at the begining of the detail that is going on .....there was no ??? as to if i was or not i said what was going on & they would not tell me other wise .. hormons when i needed them . srs when that was needed . am i being to strong here or ..... if you are a trans female . // m to f only here ..// i know myself i am strong on this ..at lest take another trans with you for surport . most times they are males for most of them & you are right its a game ....look them in the face & say. .... i am a trans ......do you see were i am coming from ...i said i am strong on this i will not take the dirt on this its my life . how dare they try & tell me other wise ...i hear you i know whats going on . may be thats why i am working in with the human rights com & others in this regard for what should be done . i hope this may help . be strong . noeleena , n z
Hi Noeleena welcome to Susan's
"Wow!" It's hard to to keep up with what you are trying to say here. Well fist of all I gather your M to F and you would like to know if there are others around that are in their 60's. I am sixty two. There was one lady here when I first came here who was 70 years old. But I am not certain if she is still around. There are a few in their fifties around about as well.
Anyway there are many here that would be pleased to respond to any questions you may have pertaining transitioning and any aspects of transitioning. There are also certain threads in these forums if you just desired to just share any general knowledge with others here.
Cindy
Quote from: noeleena on November 04, 2007, 03:53:59 AM
hi .... can i ask this ??? for me its was not the same i am 60 years of age . how old or young are you all. this seems to me to be at the begining of the detail that is going on .....there was no ??? as to if i was or not i said what was going on & they would not tell me other wise .. hormons when i needed them . srs when that was needed . am i being to strong here or ..... if you are a trans female . // m to f only here ..// i know myself i am strong on this ..at lest take another trans with you for surport . most times they are males for most of them & you are right its a game ....look them in the face & say. .... i am a trans ......do you see were i am coming from ...i said i am strong on this i will not take the dirt on this its my life . how dare they try & tell me other wise ...i hear you i know whats going on . may be thats why i am working in with the human rights com & others in this regard for what should be done . i hope this may help . be strong . noeleena , n z
Surely if you managed to get this far as a male and you are 60 years old.....you could carry on the rest that way? I thought 40 was pushing it but Cindy was older when she transitioned. But she was presenting a feminine image of herself right back in as far as the 1960's and 1970's..