Poll
Question:
You can't choose heterosexual. Which of the below would you choose to be?
Option 1: Transgendered
Option 2: Homosexual
Post ENDA betrayal, it appears that being Gay or Lesbian are better than being Trans. Transgender appear to be the bogeymen that the Fundies employ to scare people into behaving as they wish.
I heard from a couple of friends and relatives when I came out to them that if it came to that (transitioning to Female,) they were okay with me being gay instead.
If a super-power (God, space aliens, etc.,) offered you the chance to start over again, but you could only choose to be either homosexual or transgendered, what would you choose?
Karen
Can we be both? >:D
Okay...
If I had to be gay, I'd rather be natal female.
Otherwise, I'd choose to live my life over again. I'd probably take a couple of different turns on my journey's path, but the results would be oh so similar.
Cindi
Quote from: Cindi Jones on November 12, 2007, 06:54:42 PM
Can we be both? >:D
Nah -- the super being gets to choose your body sex. You get to choose either that you prefer those whose sex matches yours, or you get a mismatch between sex and gender.
Double >:D >:D back at'cha!! ;) :D
Karen
Okay... I could never be gay being a guy. That's the bottom line.
So I pick ... trans.
Now, can the super being turn back the clock so I can do this play over again? I think I could get my act together a bit better and sooner the second time around.
Cindi
cant be a homosexual (lesbian). I aint a chick & dont wanna be one. I chose transgender. ftm transgender ;)
I'm trans, and while it hasn't always been easy, I wouldn't trade it. IMO, there should be an option for both, I identified as gay/bi before coming out as transgender.
z
If I had to pick one (as if I has any choice) I'd pick Lesbian, because that would mean I am genetic female, right? And I wouldn't have to be "out" if I didn't want to, and I wouldn't have to bother with guys.
Quote
Transgendered - 11 (78.6%)
Homosexual - 3 (21.4%)
Total Voters: 14
Wow, I am in the minority?
Why on earth would I want to be transgendered?
Granted I am bi now so the notion of homosexuality doesn't exactly bother me, but even so. What makes a mind/body mismatch more attractive than congruency with sexual attractions that the current society doesn't like?
*shrug* I don't see it myself, but isn't diversity wonderful?
That said, given the same conditions and the same reasons I would do this transsexual stuff again for her, so,
*shrug* Tis just a life after all. (But you have to understand that I am aware both of prelife and of other lives. One unpleasant life, this one, isn't THAT big of a deal in the scheme of things. Not that it helps the here and now but..
*shrug* things could be SO MUCH worse.)
Sand in the wind...
Transgendered. I'll stick with what I am. I also like being asexual. So not homosexual.
Every time I've tried to answer a question like this it leads to a huge conversation. I'm transitioning MtF and I have always been attracted to men. I'm still anatomically male so would I be gay? I've always considered myself female so am I straight? If I can afford the surgery at some point will I be a straight woman? For what it is worth I consider myself a heterosexual transsexual woman so I guess I don't fit in the poll anywhere.
Desire,
I think it depends.
If you go out with gay males
then I'd say you'd have to be considered a gay male
at that time because they are certainly not females!!
But, if your going out with bi's then you'd be
whatever you self-declare yourself to be
no matter what point of transition your in.
I choose transgendered. Here is why.
For me the definition of being alive is to change. Everything is continuously changing around us. Why not change ourselves then ? Only a difference can give a connection. Chosing homosexual is chosing not to change. Not to allow any difference, not even for your sexual partner.
Homosexuals choose to put the change outside of themselves. While Transgendered people put the change inside of themselves. Both are possible but my way has always been to put the difference inside of me. It is the choice for external peace through internal war.
I'm attracted to straight males......so I am declaring myself.....I'm still confused....I guess my mother was right. I aspire to be a straight female...how's that.
Quote from: Desire on November 30, 2007, 11:42:59 AM
Every time I've tried to answer a question like this it leads to a huge conversation. I'm transitioning MtF and I have always been attracted to men. I'm still anatomically male so would I be gay? I've always considered myself female so am I straight? If I can afford the surgery at some point will I be a straight woman? For what it is worth I consider myself a heterosexual transsexual woman so I guess I don't fit in the poll anywhere.
That's simple...
If you are a mtf and attracted to men only then you are heterosexual. :)
Steph
When I was born I was really screwed up. My thought processes didn't match my body, so what do you do? The only thing you can do is change the body. You can't change your thought processes. The key word here is change that means going from something to something else. That means a transition. So, I guess I would have to say for a while, I was in transition and now my body equals my thought processes. I'm no longer in transition, at least in the gender part of life. So that leaves one part of sex orientation when there are clearly at least four that I know of and probably more, and that is hetero, homo, bi and asexual. I think that cover them. To ask a question are you a homosexual or are you a homosexual? I'm neither. So the powers to be can kiss my sweet oops.
Sheila
I choose transgendered because you said that's the one the fundies like the least.
And if there is anything else they don't like, that's what I want to be as well :-*
No one is going to dictate to me what I should or shouldn't be or force me to compromise who I am, just because it fits into their nice and tidy little made-up reality. I've played that game and it caused me profound unhappiness.
xo,
Suzie
Well said !
I'm also like that. Don't force me or you'll be in trouble.
fail@ topic....
im a straight woman, being born wrong wont change that in the slightest...
i am a woman, and im not gay.
R :police:
Quote from: Rachael on December 02, 2007, 12:39:49 PM
fail@ topic....
im a straight woman, being born wrong wont change that in the slightest...
i am a woman, and im not gay.
R :police:
I don't think the original question was about what we ARE, but about which problematic life (homosexual or transgendered) we'd rather live, given a choice of being born again.
I'd still be transsexual (not merely transgendered), given a choice, even though I realize transsexuals can't escape their pain (except via transitioning), while being gay is only a problem in that OTHER people can make life difficult for them at times. The irony is that after transitioning, many transsexuals will just blend back into the fabric of society, while gays will probably always be considered outside the mainstream.
There's just something kinda noble and (tragically) beautiful about being transsexual. Don't get me wrong, I know it's awful, I know it hurts. But it did give my life purpose and meaning, and offered me the chance to embark on a journey of self-discovery few people on this planet will ever experience.
~Kate~
noble? beautiful? gives life purpose?
WHAT ARE YOU SMOKING? srsly.....
it does nothing but ruin lives... id REALLY examine your reasons for transition tbh, because i utterly hate this... my life has meaning, and you dont need to suffer this much to 'discover yourself'
if i could be born again, identically to now... id kill myself. it would save a lot of pain.
what life is harder? well, depends where and when you live, but tbh, both are equally bad in thier own way, being gay can be a non issue, being trans will always be suffering... id honestly prefer to be dead than transition if it came round again.
R :police:
Quote from: Rachael on December 02, 2007, 06:13:48 PM
noble? beautiful? gives life purpose?
WHAT ARE YOU SMOKING? srsly.....
it does nothing but ruin lives... id REALLY examine your reasons for transition...
You have your interpretation, and I have mine. Some people choose victimhood as an identity, while others see their life as their particular challenge and path to discover the wonder and magic of this world.
My life is (tragically) beautiful. It's (bitter) sweet. Oh it hurts too, and I've certainly bled my share of tears. But if I didn't know better, I'd ALMOST think I'd penned the whole thing myself as some sort of heroic quest, and then decided to actually LIVE my story. If I didn't know better that is.
~Kate~
i dont see myself as a victim, i just cannot see good in having my life destroyed and being rejecty by my family, evidneltly if they hadnt id have found it fun and joyius i supect... oh wait. no
R :police:
I'd have to pick transsexual, again. And I very much agree with Kate's point of view, couldn't have said it better.
Quote from: Rachael on December 02, 2007, 06:13:48 PM
noble? beautiful? gives life purpose?
WHAT ARE YOU SMOKING? srsly.....
it does nothing but ruin lives... id REALLY examine your reasons for transition tbh, because i utterly hate this... my life has meaning, and you dont need to suffer this much to 'discover yourself'
if i could be born again, identically to now... id kill myself. it would save a lot of pain.
what life is harder? well, depends where and when you live, but tbh, both are equally bad in thier own way, being gay can be a non issue, being trans will always be suffering... id honestly prefer to be dead than transition if it came round again.
R :police:
As the Joker would say: "What does not kill me makes me stranger." (Cannot WAIT for that movie!)
Seriously though, looking back on my life, the suffering I've gone through around my transsexuality really HAS made me a better person for it. Today I'm a more compassionate, stronger, and hopefully wiser person. I feel sad for people who have a smooth ride their entire lives through - what do they really accomplish, at the end of the day?
Anyway, just my opinion. :laugh:
Oh yeah, I'd pick transsexual. Wouldn't be me otherwise.
arent you sure the compassion, strenth, etc, arnt qualitys of YOU that transition brought out, not given by it?
R :police:
I'll take what I am. I'm pretty happy with it. Or I'd choose to be a lipstick lesbian. But since this is not happening, what's the point? Really, I guess I like to come back as a Kennedy girl, might as well be rich too.
insight into the world?
being an undervocer agent was useful for some reasons, but i still dont understand how the male thinks... that one thing eluded me before the enemy made me and i was forced to exfil to safety :D
R :police:
So heterosexual, cisgendered woman is not a choice?...okay, okay...transsexual!
tink :icon_chick:
i voted trans. i agree very much with kate and amarant
Posted on: January 14, 2008, 11:52:34 PM
Quote from: Tink on January 14, 2008, 10:05:27 PM
So heterosexual, cisgendered woman is not a choice?...okay, okay...transsexual!
tink :icon_chick:
and tink nailed it :)
Um, yeah. I would LOVE to have been born gay! Male or female, doesn't matter... if I was just gay but didn't have to worry about having to go through chest surgery, or worry that testosterone shots would send me to an early grave, I'd be ecstatic! I didn't choose to be trans, but I am. But certainly, I can't imagine anyone wanting it over a life in which they didn't have to go through so much pain and anguish.
yeah you would :P
gay=/= not transsexual too :P
sexuality and gender are two parallel occurances. Both work together, but there is no override...
so this topic fails, as you can be both... or neither... :P
R :police:
Quote from: Rachael on January 14, 2008, 03:36:46 PM
arent you sure the compassion, strenth, etc, arnt qualitys of YOU that transition brought out, not given by it?
R :police:
Maybe, but on the other hand, we are shaped by our experiences, and it's only through hard experiences that we learn our limitations, are forced to confront our prejudices and grow in the process. People who go through their entire lives sheltered, comfortable and happy tend to be rather ignorant - that's not me saying it either - An aunt of mine once commented on how sheltered she had become after marrying into a very rich family.
Call me a masochist, but our trials define us.
Quote from: Tink on January 14, 2008, 10:05:27 PM
So heterosexual, cisgendered woman is not a choice?...okay, okay...transsexual!
tink :icon_chick:
LOL!! Yep, the devil I already am well acquainted with. *smile*
Quote from: lady amarant on January 15, 2008, 11:24:46 AM
Quote from: Rachael on January 14, 2008, 03:36:46 PM
arent you sure the compassion, strenth, etc, arnt qualitys of YOU that transition brought out, not given by it?
R :police:
Maybe, but on the other hand, we are shaped by our experiences, and it's only through hard experiences that we learn our limitations, are forced to confront our prejudices and grow in the process. People who go through their entire lives sheltered, comfortable and happy tend to be rather ignorant - that's not me saying it either - An aunt of mine once commented on how sheltered she had become after marrying into a very rich family.
Call me a masochist, but our trials define us.
the only thing transition has done to me, is make me cold.... i dont trust, i cant love, just incase they turn around and hurt me...
once bitten...
R :police:
Quote from: Rachael on January 15, 2008, 02:20:37 PM
Quote from: lady amarant on January 15, 2008, 11:24:46 AM
Quote from: Rachael on January 14, 2008, 03:36:46 PM
arent you sure the compassion, strenth, etc, arnt qualitys of YOU that transition brought out, not given by it?
R :police:
Maybe, but on the other hand, we are shaped by our experiences, and it's only through hard experiences that we learn our limitations, are forced to confront our prejudices and grow in the process. People who go through their entire lives sheltered, comfortable and happy tend to be rather ignorant - that's not me saying it either - An aunt of mine once commented on how sheltered she had become after marrying into a very rich family.
Call me a masochist, but our trials define us.
the only thing transition has done to me, is make me cold.... i dont trust, i cant love, just incase they turn around and hurt me...
once bitten...
R :police:
Transition's had the opposite effect on me, it's freed the real me, and I can trust and love, like I did as a child until I repressed myself. In my teens I was cold and distant and you wouldn't have recognized me then (personality-wise).
oh the same... i WANT to love, i WANT to open up to people, but after telling my family my darkest secret, those who are meant to love you nomatter what, my blood, abandoned me.... I dated a guy for 3 months, we were going to have sex, i came out to him, he dumped me and i never saw him again. Oh im Happy with my life, but im damaged goods as far as love goes. heh, atleast before i couldnt love, now i desperately need to, but wont let myself.
R :police:
Quote from: Rachael on January 16, 2008, 03:11:15 AM
oh the same... i WANT to love, i WANT to open up to people, but after telling my family my darkest secret, those who are meant to love you nomatter what, my blood, abandoned me.... I dated a guy for 3 months, we were going to have sex, i came out to him, he dumped me and i never saw him again. Oh im Happy with my life, but im damaged goods as far as love goes. heh, at least before i couldnt love, now i desperately need to, but wont let myself.
R :police:
I can't really argue with you on this one - A big part of accepting my transsexuality was basically accepting that, no matter what I do to make people love me, they'd probably abandon me once they found out. I'm at the point where I've accepted that I'll probably be alone for the rest of my life.
Which sucks, but it has been a positive thing in other ways. I spent most of the last 29 years trying to "buy" people's love and acceptance by being straight A, good at everything, etc. etc. Perfect child, perfect husband (yeah, married for a year!), perfect everything. No matter how much you do to please others though, it's a bum deal, because they can take that hard-bought love away again just like that. I've realised the only love worth buying is my own, so now I try, as far as is financially and practically feasable, to do what pleases me instead of others.
Hypocrite that I am though, I've only come out to a small group of people, though I've basically doubled that in the last two weeks, so progress, and I'm telling pretty-much one person a week. Mostly negative, a few undecided, but at this point I'm not bothered either way. If the connection is meant to remain, it will remain.
It's probably going to sound harsh, but we are born alone and we die alone. Connections to other people can be intense, valuable, wonderful, but they are temporary, even if they last a lifetime. So the decision I've come to is to not close myself off to it - the fact that somebody might reject me for a part of who I am doesn't negate the connection we shared and what I gained from it. My wife and I divorced ... badly, but I would not change a thing about the relationship because it was a time of enormous growth for me, and in many ways a catalyst towards me accepting my GID. The two of us started talking again a few months ago, and I told her - I felt it only fair, because us crashing had a lot to do with my issues. She's been one of the few people to accept it and we're getting, slowly, back to a point of friendship. Which was an absolute surprise, because we REALLY hurt each other.
Love and friendship and stuff can surprise us, but only if we take the risk of getting hurt by it.
Quote from: lady amarant on January 16, 2008, 09:21:38 AM
Love and friendship and stuff can surprise us, but only if we take the risk of getting hurt by it.
It's counter-intuitive for us, Simone, but I believe you are right.
I find that we all desire relationship. Being rejected hurts badly and we do what we have to do, or think we have to do, to avoid rejection. How much of myself must I withdraw and hide in order to be accepted? How protected am I when I recoil from relationship by rejecting it before it gets the chance to reject me?
It's a hard choice to make.
But, the risking of oneself may be totally necessary in order to find that which we long for. An open heart seems to allow the pain to flow through and out. A closed one seems to bottle pain and the pressure explodes the heart. That's been true for me anyhow.
I'll take the risks. The healing feels wonderful as it arrives and grows.
N~
Quote from: Nichole W. on January 16, 2008, 09:33:27 AM
I'll take the risks. The healing feels wonderful as it arrives and grows.
I agree. Once the wounds have healed and I can look back on it, I always manage to find something that was worth it, even if just a lesson learned about myself. When I met my ex, she was a single mom with a seven month-old little boy. Even if I had gained nothing else from that relationship, (And I did gain so much) being a parent for that year was an experience I absolutely cherish, especially since I'll never be able to be a mom myself.
when you talked so someone you love about a transsexual friend, they are all like 'well you have to do what you have to do to be you' your heart jumps for joy, when they find out thier girlfriend has a penis... different story...
One of the many reasons why when post op, nobody else hears the word 'transsexual' again from my lips.
R :police:
Quote from: Rachael on January 16, 2008, 11:07:00 AM
when you talked so someone you love about a transsexual friend, they are all like 'well you have to do what you have to do to be you' your heart jumps for joy, when they find out thier girlfriend has a penis... different story...
One of the many reasons why when post op, nobody else hears the word 'transsexual' again from my lips.
R :police:
sadly true, in most cases. Most people find to their shock that they're a lot more bigoted and unaccepting than they thought when confronted by it.
Wow, we actually agreed on something! ;)
I still hold out hope for that one person who loves and accepts me rather than just my anatomy - unlikely as hell, I know, but I need to hope for that.
i know ill find someone... i have no problems attracting men, its sinking my hook thats the problem!
R :police:
Quote from: Rachael on January 16, 2008, 11:32:02 AM
i know ill find someone... i have no problems attracting men, its sinking my hook thats the problem!
R :police:
Here's to the hope that one of them will turn out to be the real thing and know that true love sees past the physical and connects with the being inside.
Boy, is this thread depressing! If I can find someone to love, I can imagine just about anyone can! However, if you go about things with the assumption that you'll never be happy, it will likely become a self-fulfilling prophecy... and I suppose if unhappiness is what you desire, you'l ultimately get what you asked for.
You know, I always thought I was a straight man. Growing up female, though, it was tough to figure that one out. So when I met a beautiful woman who just so happened to have a penis, I thought, well, I love her, so what does it matter? We've been married over a year, and though there are struggles, we couldn't be happier with each other. There are people out there who don't care what's in your pants; but if you shut yourself off from the possibility of happiness, most likely you won't recognize them even if they find you.
I don't think transsexuality is a sentence to lifelong unhappiness. I don't believe it for a minute. Everyone has the right to be happy, to be in love...
in this life... transgendered.
i have no desire towards women whatsoever.
finding someone who accepts me girlfriend/boyfriend-wise?
not into commited relationships (yet?), so i wouldn't know. not looking towards that experience a lot.
i hate how shallow and narrowminded the society is around us.
just because they can't figure someone out, they give up. at least give it a go, work on it.
i hope that made sense.
I don't think either category is necessarily better than the other; but I chose "trans", only because I like who I am and I wouldn't want to be different. I often hear people say, "If I could choose, I'd rather be *insert unstigmatized category here* than *insert stigmatized category here*. But if we could be different, then by definition, we'd be different people. Personally, I think the discrimination and the difficulty I've encountered, belonging to a stigmatized group, have made me a better person and better empathizer than those who never experience such things.
Lia
Can I choose ambivalent? I don't see how either of the choices is better or worse than the other. Which is part of the silliness of the whole ENDA kerbapple. While we may not all be the same, the civil rights protection we need is similar. And I prefer working with people to working apart from them.
I also think a lot of people maybe overpersonlized the topic, which wasn't, as I read it, intended to be done that way. It's more asking which is the harder lifestyle transgender or gay, and would you rather live the harder lifestyle. I don't think your own orientation right now really plays into it that much.
Okay.....you didn't give me enough choices, so.......I chose homosexual.
Why? Easy. I'm lesbian, always have been, tho born into a male body. I would have been just as happy being gg lesbian, except my whole life would be trashed. I wouldn't have Marcy, or my kids, or grandkids. But that's what would have been had I been born gg.
Bev
I think it's cheating on the question to say that yes you would be homosexual because that would supposedly mean that you were still born the same gender as you are now. To me that feels like answering, "why yes I WOULD like to have my cake and eat it to!"
What if the question is this:
MTF---Would you rather be a gay man or transgendered?
FTM----Would you rather be a lesbian woman or transgendered?
The question is basically, if you were born again, with everything the same, same hair, same genetalia, same parents, la la la same same same, except you could either be transgender or homosexual, which would you choose?
And I think the emphasis on the question is more, which type of life is easier vs. harder?
This question is of course doubly hard to answer, if you are already homosexual in addition to being transgender.
I can't really pick, because when I think about the expierence of one, it matches the experience of the other. Which only underscores to me why LGBT has to continue to include T.
right now its hard for me to vote on this but i did was to adress this . for me when i look at this poll and
read this question . it just is a hard thing to answer the way it is now. as if i was to vote i could only
vote transgenered. but then again if i voted they way i feel . which is female then yes i would be
homosexual no questions ask at all . but thats not the case . and it just hard to aswer this and give the
answer that i feel good with . it is surely a double 22 here no questiion ask . so its just to hard for me to
anwer this as the poll question is ask now ::) ::) ::)
Quote from: SarahFaceDoom on January 29, 2008, 06:12:56 PM
I think it's cheating on the question to say that yes you would be homosexual because that would supposedly mean that you were still born the same gender as you are now.
The question is basically, if you were born again, with everything the same, same hair, same genetalia, same parents, la la la same same same, except you could either be transgender or homosexual, which would you choose?
You know, I didn't CHOOSE to be female-brained. I was born that way, just as I was born with a sexual orientation toward females. My brain is female, my orientation is lesbian.
Now, just read an article in a national paper that says we
choose to be homosexual, and you might be at the front line of the rebuttal, saying that orientation is not a choice. I picked homosexual from a list of only 2 possibilities. I didn't choose it when I was born, nor did I choose my gender. This is just a dumb exercise in impossible logic.
Bev ::)
Quote from: Beverly on January 29, 2008, 09:17:23 PM
Quote from: SarahFaceDoom on January 29, 2008, 06:12:56 PM
I think it's cheating on the question to say that yes you would be homosexual because that would supposedly mean that you were still born the same gender as you are now.
The question is basically, if you were born again, with everything the same, same hair, same genetalia, same parents, la la la same same same, except you could either be transgender or homosexual, which would you choose?
You know, I didn't CHOOSE to be female-brained. I was born that way, just as I was born with a sexual orientation toward females. My brain is female, my orientation is lesbian.
Right. It's not my question. I'm saying that by the intent of the original question, saying that you would chose to be female bodied and minded, and lesbian is a tad tangly, since it doesn't per se mean that you think a homosexual life is easier or harder.
Since you are both lesbian and female brained, all you saying that you'd rather be born a non-trans lesbian is saying is that you wish you had been born in a body that matched your original female mind. Which really isn't what the question was asking.
It's great that you'd like to have saved money on hormones and surgery by being born in a body that fits your mind, but I mean...duh. If that wasn't the case you wouldn't be here on this board.
It is a dumb exercise though, that I agree with. Though I think it does have some utility in terms of hopefully getting some to consider how much we actually do have in common with LGB. Unfortunately, I think most of that utility has been tossed out in favor of fantastically easy answers which aren't really challenging anyone that much. But whatever. It's not my thread.
trans. I think my life has been hard, but very rewarding. Wouldn't want to change it.
JESSI
GG
Quote from: Rachael on January 16, 2008, 03:11:15 AM
oh the same... i WANT to love, i WANT to open up to people, but after telling my family my darkest secret, those who are meant to love you nomatter what, my blood, abandoned me.... I dated a guy for 3 months, we were going to have sex, i came out to him, he dumped me and i never saw him again. Oh im Happy with my life, but im damaged goods as far as love goes. heh, atleast before i couldnt love, now i desperately need to, but wont let myself.
R :police:
The story of my life:( will you tell others since you will have grs?? please do tell.
Quote from: deniz on February 20, 2008, 04:55:07 PM
Quote from: Rachael on January 16, 2008, 03:11:15 AM
oh the same... i WANT to love, i WANT to open up to people, but after telling my family my darkest secret, those who are meant to love you nomatter what, my blood, abandoned me.... I dated a guy for 3 months, we were going to have sex, i came out to him, he dumped me and i never saw him again. Oh im Happy with my life, but im damaged goods as far as love goes. heh, atleast before i couldnt love, now i desperately need to, but wont let myself.
R :police:
The story of my life:( will you tell others since you will have grs?? please do tell.
People can be very obtuse; sometimes all they need is time to accept and build a relationship with the "new" you. This is especially true with family relations.
As for that guy... he wasn't the right one, sail on to warmer waters :)
For some people all the time in the world dosnt matter. I have known people like this and I have been there Rachael. It seems like love is just a cruel joke. I have been disowned by family, pushed aside by friends... and even had people that claim to care about me walk off. Over the past few years I have found myself looking for love, its something that has evaded me my whole life. Frankly its something I am really starting to give up on. Its real hard not to and just keep going sometimes.
~Rachel~
when i have grs....
SOD telling people. Im having that normal life that was stolen from my grasp cheers.
R >:D
when they find out thier girlfriend has a penis... different story
As well it should be. Look, if you want to play, I'm all for play. I do want to know what playground I'm in to begin with, it tends to make a difference.
And its not sexuality, not morality, its mechanics.
I do so love to go down on girls, I've done boys too, I have liked that on occasion, but its not like doing girls. To lie to me is to deprive me of my favorite sexual activity. Had I known to begin with, I might well have gone ahead and played, but I hate being lied to.
I don't think I would care, true love would prevail for me... if there is such a thing. I guess I am a little more understanding to the feelings behind it and why it was hidden. I cant say I wouldn't do the same. Being out front with it doesn't always work either.
~Rachel~
Quote from: tekla on February 25, 2008, 03:19:16 PM
when they find out thier girlfriend has a penis... different story
As well it should be. Look, if you want to play, I'm all for play. I do want to know what playground I'm in to begin with, it tends to make a difference.
And its not sexuality, not morality, its mechanics.
I do so love to go down on girls, I've done boys too, I have liked that on occasion, but its not like doing girls. To lie to me is to deprive me of my favorite sexual activity. Had I known to begin with, I might well have gone ahead and played, but I hate being lied to.
is had the same as having?
is it a different story?
R >:D
just seen this.
Transgendered all the way.
I could never be a lesbian because I'm no chick and the mere thought of being a 'man with another man' makes my stomach churn.
Sorry I can't choose just one.
Because I'm born male instead of being born cis female
I am both trans and gay
I'm a lesbian trans girl, so...
Quote from: Pikachu on July 23, 2014, 10:32:41 PM
I'm a lesbian trans girl, so...
Same here, I'm a lesbian transgender woman which makes it very hard to make a choice with just the two choices given.
Allie :icon_flower:
I'm not homosexual, but I'm just saying why couldn't you be both? Transgendered is not a set in sexual orientaion. Technically "Transexual" is the orientation and transgendered is a whole other thing, but I wish not to digress. To late though. But anyways, you can be transgendered and still heterosexual, bisexual, asexual, metrosexual, pansexual, so why not homosexual?
I am surprised so many of you would chose to be trans all over again. Especially in this day and age, being gay is much much easier thing to come to terms with and live with than being transgender. As you all know, being trans is really hard and you would choose it again? You are stronger people that I am.
I live in hope that one day my choice would change, but as I feel now, for me, the less "otherness" I could have, the better.
Quote from: Nero on March 03, 2008, 06:18:56 AM
the mere thought of being a 'man with another man' makes my stomach churn.
Presumably if you were gay, this wouldn't be the case?
I'd rather be a gay man than a straight transman. I already like guys more than the average straight guy, but not enough to call myself bisexual since I really only like looking at attractive guys, and I hate having the wrong parts so much.
Actually im both of these
Id rather be a cis lesbian
Quote from: Pandion on July 24, 2014, 04:20:22 AM
I am surprised so many of you would chose to be trans all over again. Especially in this day and age, being gay is much much easier thing to come to terms with and live with than being transgender. As you all know, being trans is really hard and you would choose it again? You are stronger people that I am.
I live in hope that one day my choice would change, but as I feel now, for me, the less "otherness" I could have, the better.
For me, it's not even an issue of being strong or choosing an easier path. Even if I were neither gay nor trans, there are still a ton of other things I am that would make me just as weird and ostracized from my local society. I'm pretty much "other" all the way across the board. Also, where I live, gay people are
still treated like they have the plague.
Wow, another old thread reborn. I am transgender, nothing will change it. But I know myself inside better than a lot of cisgender people do. That is one thing that we have an edge on over cis people, being trans we know more about gender and how it is way more than just boys have a penis and girls have a vagina.
Quote from: Pandion on July 24, 2014, 04:20:22 AM
I am surprised so many of you would chose to be trans all over again. Especially in this day and age, being gay is much much easier thing to come to terms with and live with than being transgender. As you all know, being trans is really hard and you would choose it again? You are stronger people that I am.
I live in hope that one day my choice would change, but as I feel now, for me, the less "otherness" I could have, the better.
I'm not surprised. I am bisexual so either or for me. That is about what turns me on, that is all about sex and sexual desires. Same with homosexuality, its about sex and what turns a person on. Being trans is more about gender expression and I'll go one step further and say true self expression and way less about sexual desires. Even if I wasn't trans, I would still probably be bi.
Quote from: Sam314 on July 24, 2014, 01:50:01 AM
I'm not homosexual, but I'm just saying why couldn't you be both? Transgendered is not a set in sexual orientaion. Technically "Transexual" is the orientation and transgendered is a whole other thing, but I wish not to digress. To late though. But anyways, you can be transgendered and still heterosexual, bisexual, asexual, metrosexual, pansexual, so why not homosexual?
I'm lesbian, does that count? Anyway I chose transgender due to the availability, or lack thereof of choices. Like the Princess I'd prefer to be a cis lesbian.
Allie :icon_flower:
I think it's harder to be trans as you can't hide your transition forever. I'd rather be a cis lesbian since I like girls anyways
As it sits now would probably considered gay but. Still male at the moment body wise yet feeling I may be more girl in the mind aspect.
To be honest have never even been on a date let alone sex, wanted to just didn't happen and shy/introvert which doesn't help. I have had a girl kiss me and say hmm you special not sure what that meant at the time now hmm.
Attracted to the female personality and body yet attracted to a certain male part. I guess that could make me a hetrosexual transwoman eventually or just plain screwed up. Yet I have seen others similar so maybe not so screwed up after all. I had my sister ask me if I was gay and stood there for a few seconds and thought hmm actually no if I am female and like guys that is not gay so I honestly answered no. Eh I just don't know at the moment:)
I'd rather just be gay. Much easier than being trans because at least I wouldn't be at war with my traitorous body and have to deal with all the crap from society that goes along with it.
It's just a thought exercise so I don't feel like the limited options are offensive.
If I could be a gay cismale or a straight transman, I think either path would be easier for me personally than what I'm navigating now. I'm uneasy when I try to imagine living as a straight cisman or gay ciswoman, but I'm sure if I had been born one of those it would feel normal. The idea of being a straight ciswoman is kind of a trigger for me. :laugh:
I try not to post in memes, but this really reminded me of that commercial from a while back.
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fstatic.comicvine.com%2Fuploads%2Foriginal%2F11111%2F111114723%2F3849160-4369185785-original&hash=deb90e3f22d0ebe88be14d7268cd16bf49207b42)