I find myself wanting to push the envelope of the straight guy people are used to, all the time now. I guess it started when I first started HRT, then I started wearing my hair in a way that will eventually look good when longer. I wear perfume everyday, and lip balm, lips always seem dry now. I started wearing ladies skinny jeans, now it's all I wear at wor.k. I have a business trip coming up and asked for advise on out email thread about earbuds. Throughout the models I was shown, one of them came in pink. Now I want that one, but think internally, is this pushed too far? They also offer hunter green, which I love, but their ad shows a man wearing them with a big bushy beard. Instantly I cannot get green. I find myself planning what my next envelope push is too. Should I put my earring back in (hasn't been in for 20 years) Should I get my other ear pierced? When should I start wearing makeup at work? Argh, these thoughts are often. I wouldn't say it's GD, since I'm not hating myself or in the guilt/shame cycle, but it is often like GD.
Do you ladies have similar needs to push? Is it a normal thing to feel?
Quote from: Bari Jo on October 05, 2017, 10:20:08 AM
I find myself wanting to push the envelope of the straight guy people are used to, all the time now.
Do you ladies have similar needs to push? Is it a normal thing to feel?
I think so, because I felt the same way, and am doing so.
Granted it was more of a, now I've just stopped bothering to police my behavior. Ever since I started getting bullied heavily for mannerisms and such as a kid/teen, I started consciously policing myself and thus was always super tense.
Later teens/early adult drinking removed my ability to police myself consciously, so I became a totally different hyper friendly/emotional/effeminate person when I was intoxicated that made everyone question my sexuality/gender.
Starting HRT and coming to terms with what I am has caused the same effect.
I've started dressing more "metro," but not necessarily wearing girl pants or anything in public. I stopped cutting my hair, shave smooth as much as possible, and started acting and talking the way that seems natural instead of pre-planned and forced. Though I'm not sure if its that I *want* to do this exactly, but rather that I've stopped wanting to fit the role I never actually wanted.
I've stopped caring about how people perceive me too so I just started using my rudimentary female voice achieved through what therapy I've had. It confuses people and I get weird looks, but at least over phone and in drive-thru's I get ma'amed. Makes funny when I get to the store/pay in the drive through though. :D
I think it's a perfectly normal thing to feel. Sounds cliche, but you're tired of hiding what and who you are both from the world and from yourself. It's not healthy to hide, and the positive psychological effects that come from being out only serves to create a cascading effect that furthers the process along.
Quote from: Bari Jo on October 05, 2017, 10:20:08 AMDo you ladies have similar needs to push? Is it a normal thing to feel?
Pushing the envelope is the only way to move forward. When I started HRT just over three months ago, I was terrified to even undo my hair inside my own house in case a neighbor looked in while going by. Yesterday I spent the afternoon walking around a high-end mall, shopping at Target, and buying a new name tag for my dog at Petco. Got ma'amed all day, too. The only way to do it is not just to take baby steps, but also to keep on walking. Every time you push, the next time is easier.
Go for it!
Steph
I'm definitely feeling the need to push more and more, even if only in tiny ways while I'm just still in this super early phase (it feels weird to say that and recognize I am still just starting, since the past two months have been the longest of my life). I know I'm going to get flak (joking, but flak nonetheless) from shaving arms and legs, but every time I go to shave everywhere else (ie: not visible areas) I just go a littttttle bit further down the legs, a littttttttle bit further down the arms.
Thanks Steph and Izzy. I think you are right, tired of hiding. Izzy I love your using your new voice in public. I want to practice now and start doing that. I love goals that I can look forward to. Wearing ladies jeans is very simple, even the slim and skinny ones. I even wear them with ladies doc Martin's now. Nobody has said anything. Go for it.
Roll, I'm waiting for it to get all little cooler, then two bottles of Nair will take away all body hair below the neck. Oh, can't wait. Those bottles have been calling my name under the sink.
BTW, done, I'm ordering the pink ear buds. Let people question my thought process, I'm just telling them I wanted the pink pair:)
Bari Jo
Get the pink earbuds. When I was little I was pink obsessed. I wore pink clothes, (gender neutral) had a pink bedspread and loved anything pink. I seriously doubt pink earbuds will raise any eyebrows.
Quote from: Roll on October 05, 2017, 11:09:43 AM
I'm definitely feeling the need to push more and more, even if only in tiny ways while I'm just still in this super early phase (it feels weird to say that and recognize I am still just starting, since the past two months have been the longest of my life). I know I'm going to get flak (joking, but flak nonetheless) from shaving arms and legs, but every time I go to shave everywhere else (ie: not visible areas) I just go a littttttle bit further down the legs, a littttttttle bit further down the arms.
Shaving arms and legs ain't a big deal (done that several times - no reaction from any one, no reaction afterwards either). But sooner or later - your 'push' will stop being a push and will be recognized as a transition :)
Quote from: Bari Jo on October 05, 2017, 11:30:04 AM
Thanks Steph and Izzy. I think you are right, tired of hiding. Izzy I love your using your new voice in public. I want to practice now and start doing that. I love goals that I can look forward to.
I found all the little online guides I found horribly insufficient or not effective. I also need to have another person involved to ever learn anything, so I sought out a voice therapist.
Mine does it over skype, she has a youtube channel too and sings Tenor 1 and is trans herself. It's a tad expensive, but worth it I practice diligently all day when alone.
Quote from: elkie-t on October 05, 2017, 11:30:36 AMBut sooner or later - your 'push' will stop being a push and will be recognized as a transition :)
That is a good point elkie. I don't want to push too hard just because we don't have gender neutral bathrooms at work. If I'm not presenting as female, but people know I'm transitioning, it can cause problems I think.
Bari Jo
Quote from: Bari Jo on October 05, 2017, 10:20:08 AM
I find myself wanting to push the envelope of the straight guy people are used to, all the time now.
...
Do you ladies have similar needs to push? Is it a normal thing to feel?
Oh, yes, this is normal and healthy. Like Steph said, if you don't push the edges of your comfort zone, you won't expand it.
QuoteShould I put my earring back in (hasn't been in for 20 years) Should I get my other ear pierced?
To the first, yes with caution. To the second, yes. Earrings are one of the easiest things to do. Simple silver studs or gold rings are totally accepted on males, so they won't attract unwanted attention. Yet they can really help you look feminine. Use caution if you have not had a ring in that ear for a long time: the hole may have closed over.
QuoteI wouldn't say it's GD, since I'm not hating myself or in the guilt/shame cycle, but it is often like GD.
I would say it is GD. Dysphoria doesn't mean you hate yourself. It is quite common for it to manifest as an obsession with making progress towards transition.
Quote from: elkie-t on October 05, 2017, 11:30:36 AM
Shaving arms and legs ain't a big deal (done that several times - no reaction from any one, no reaction afterwards either). But sooner or later - your 'push' will stop being a push and will be recognized as a transition :)
Oh trust me, around here it will be noticed and get a reaction. :D Not a hostile one by any means, but a "stop being weird" joking one. I am thinking about trying to turn it into a joke myself doing it slowly and at one point be like "I've been running an experiment to see how long it would take someone to notice. You have failed".
That continual need to push further is one of the reasons I figured out going full-time would probably be right for me. Each time I took a step along the road, the urge would always come back to take another, until there was only one tiny little step left [emoji3]
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just do it
Quote from: Roll on October 05, 2017, 12:12:27 PM
Oh trust me, around here it will be noticed and get a reaction. :D Not a hostile one by any means, but a "stop being weird" joking one. I am thinking about trying to turn it into a joke myself doing it slowly and at one point be like "I've been running an experiment to see how long it would take someone to notice. You have failed".
If people notice it just be a smart ass and have some fun with it. I shaved my legs the first time when I was 12. My dad noticed it but he just sighed and rolled his eyes. When my grandpa noticed it he asked me if I had shaved my legs. (Duh,they were smooth). I said " no, I waxed them". He told me no one likes a little smart ass and that in his day smart ass kids got the back of a hand. Lol.
Quote from: Roll on October 05, 2017, 12:12:27 PM
Oh trust me, around here it will be noticed and get a reaction. :D Not a hostile one by any means, but a "stop being weird" joking one. I am thinking about trying to turn it into a joke myself doing it slowly and at one point be like "I've been running an experiment to see how long it would take someone to notice. You have failed".
You can always say - I wanted to experiment how it feels and I like it and intend to continue doing it. Then challenge them if they have any problems with it.
I think having guts to admit what you did and asserting your ownership of your body (without unneeded lies or explanations) is a better approach than admitting your mistake and turning yourself into a joke
Quote from: elkie-t on October 05, 2017, 01:25:22 PM
You can always say - I wanted to experiment how it feels and I like it and intend to continue doing it. Then challenge them if they have any problems with it.
I think having guts to admit what you did and asserting your ownership of your body (without unneeded lies or explanations) is a better approach than admitting your mistake and turning yourself into a joke
That is what I did when I removed the hair on chest the first time (saying I just wanted to see how it was), though I combined it with a joke about my (completely true) idiotic mistake of a second application of the cream leading to burning nipples. In general that is just how I am about everything, I don't make myself a joke but I deflect and find comfort in nervous actions by making (often poor) attempts at humor. (That's just sort of who I am, I had a dream of being a comic as long as I had a dream of being female. :D)
I don't really see it as "Pushing the Envelope". It feels more like, "moving outside your comfort zone to find your authentic self". Be proud, and keep exploring what the world has to offer. You're doing great!
Just be cautious not to discount things that you like, just because its advertised gender specific. If green is your color, go for it! If Pink is more attractive to you, buy it. I personally like green. It's my color. ;)
Quote from: Harley Quinn on October 05, 2017, 03:23:06 PM
Just be cautious not to discount things that you like, just because its advertised gender specific. If green is your color, go for it! If Pink is more attractive to you, buy it. I personally like green. It's my color. ;)
I like green too, but my main GD trigger is facial hair. I can't get that out of my mind. I ordered pink. I know I'll get ribbing about it, that's okay.
I'm glad others have this kind of issue too. I'll accept that this may be GD, but it sure feels different to me. I think acceptance probably has a lot to do with it. Baby girl steps, eventually womanhood.
Bari Jo
Quote from: Harley Quinn on October 05, 2017, 03:23:06 PM
I don't really see it as "Pushing the Envelope". It feels more like, "moving outside your comfort zone to find your authentic self". Be proud, and keep exploring what the world has to offer. You're doing great!
Just be cautious not to discount things that you like, just because its advertised gender specific. If green is your color, go for it! If Pink is more attractive to you, buy it. I personally like green. It's my color. ;)
Spot on with both points.
How can we get to Paris if we never leave our driveway. :) Unless you live in Paris of course.
I love pink but it makes me look like I have the plague or something. My favorite night shirt is pink though. Blue works for me I think.
Quote from: Bari Jo on October 05, 2017, 10:20:08 AM
I wouldn't say it's GD, since I'm not hating myself or in the guilt/shame cycle, but it is often like GD.
Do you ladies have similar needs to push? Is it a normal thing to feel?
Gender dysphoria isn't limited to feelings of self-loathing. It can merely be a simple dissatisfaction with your outward physique and how it is perceived by others. Normal doesn't exist. What is normal for one, is weird, taboo, or just wrong for others. However that doesn't mean that you don't have that situation in common with many M2F's. YOU ARE NOT ALONE! Your feelings, fears, and emotions are valid for one simple reason. They are HUMAN emotions.
Regarding your specific concerns: Doesn't hurt to do a little recon/research before making decisions that affect your income. Does your employer have any anti-discrimination policies? Is your immediate supervisor an ally, bigot, or neutral? What is the basic company stance and policy regarding attire and bathroom usage? And yes those two are separate, policy is an official rule, stance is how it is or isn't enforced.
On the specific issue of earbuds, unless your employee guidelines specifically denote them as attire, its purely a matter of preference. You can choose any color you want as long if you are paying for them, and anything within any related guidelines if the company does. Your reason for the color can be as simple as "I liked it." You don't have to explain why. You have a right to privacy. This includes whether or not you shave your legs. No one has to know. As far as earbud color, I say go for the most obvious, girliest hot pink you can get. If someone notices it and comments, you can use that as a way to gauge their future reactions to any further changes you might make.
It all boils down to your insight and judgement. If you feel unsafe regarding your employment, and actually love or need the job, proceed with caution. We don't currently have any Federal protections for employment, though that may change with the ADA court case. If you do feel safe, or the job isn't that important to you, do what makes you feel happy. Screw everyone else's opinion. Watch out for violent protests though. Stay Safe.
HUGS!
Thanks JennyBear, I'm very lucky where I work and what I do for a living. My employer is probably the best for LGBT there is. I probably wouldn't even have to have meetings with HR.
Bari Jo
This is what I've been doing. Not on HRT yet, but I grew my hair long, pluck my brows, dress very androgynously... girls skinny jeans and t-shirts, and wear nail polish. No makeup during the day for work.
No one really questions it. I'm a musician so I think they just think that's what it is. Lol
I don't think I look like a woman. But I've had a few instances where people think so. That always makes me feel good. [emoji3]
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RavenMoon, we are following similar paths. I'm an artist at my work, fine art. We have lgbt clubs and gay days though so no worries. I'm sure people have an idea that I'm transitioning already, but I haven't come public yet. Once I get the hair thing under control I will. Hopefully by then I'll be gendered correctly. I havent had that in forever!
Quote from: Julia1996 on October 05, 2017, 11:30:33 AM
Get the pink earbuds. When I was little I was pink obsessed. I wore pink clothes, (gender neutral) had a pink bedspread and loved anything pink. I seriously doubt pink earbuds will raise any eyebrows.
Love pink. Wife says stop please no more pink. Lol. Still love pink. But for her I have enough pink. I can wear my pink bras and she won't see until I take them off. Lol. And nobody has ever said anything about any of my pink items. So I would not worry 1 bit.
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Quote from: Norma Lynne on October 06, 2017, 10:23:38 AM
nobody has ever said anything about any of my pink items. So I would not worry 1 bit.
Thanks Norma, I ordered pink. I think that will look best with my complexion and hair color too. I'll be using them at work. I'll get some comments for sure, but I've already told some people I ordered pink when they asked what color. I think it'll be fine. Planning next envelope push now:)
Bari Jo, <3 you for making this thread. It gave me the push to just say screw it and shave everything this morning. ;D My cheap little 2 dollar "gold" bracelet I bought looks so cute on my wrist now without that stupid hair.
Quote from: Roll on October 06, 2017, 10:41:35 AM
Bari Jo, <3 you for making this thread. It gave me the push to just say screw it and shave everything this morning. ;D My cheap little 2 dollar "gold" bracelet I bought looks so cute on my wrist now without that stupid hair.
Hee hee, glad to be of help. My goal is to confortably transition for myself and the people around me. But yes, the need to push the envelope is always there.
Quote from: Roll on October 06, 2017, 10:41:35 AM
Bari Jo, <3 you for making this thread. It gave me the push to just say screw it and shave everything this morning. ;D
Big mistake, you should've wax.
Quote from: elkie-t on October 06, 2017, 01:20:51 PM
Big mistake, you should've wax.
I had the razor, didn't have the wax and it was spur of the moment. :D But I've already planned on picking it up for next time(literally a kit is in my amazon cart), I'm sick of stubble.
Quote from: elkie-t on October 06, 2017, 01:20:51 PM
Big mistake, you should've wax.
No it's not a big mistake. Waxing is better in your opinions. Shaving was her solution and not open for criticism. It served her purpose and that is what is important. You are welcome to express your opinion as long as it takes the form of an opinion.
Quote from: Roll on October 06, 2017, 01:22:44 PM
I had the razor, didn't have the wax and it was spur of the moment. :D But I've already planned on picking it up for next time(literally a kit is in my amazon cart), I'm sick of stubble.
If you can handle the pain involved (slightly worse than waxing,) an electric tweezer/epilator works great for some areas, such as fingers, hands and wrists, if you have hair there. Operating costs are lower than waxing after the initial purchase, just a tiny bit of electricity to recharge it. Mine is a wet/dry. But its not for everyone. Anything that pulls the roots out (sugaring, waxing, epilating, tweezing) negates the possibility of having a shadow (fine stubble.) On the other hand, shaving does save a lot of hassle, and if your hairs are fine and light you wont have to worry about shadow anyway, other than facial hair. Just food for thought. Whatever works for you.
HUGS!
Quote from: Laurie on October 06, 2017, 01:25:30 PM
No it's not a big mistake. Waxing is better in your opinions. Shaving was her solution and not open for criticism. It served her purpose and that is what is important. You are welcome to express your opinion as long as it takes the form of an opinion.
Everything I write is my opinion and not divine truth set in stone (that is your moderatorial prerogative).
And she already expressed regrets of her actions - see her last post "I'm sick of stubble". And the problem with stubble is that until it grows all the way back - you cannot wax it :) and you need to shave it every other day (at least).
It's somewhat acceptable on legs (after all a little stubble isn't highly visible), but a major irritation on hands
And Roll is totally entitled to think she did everything right and continue to do so. I'm not her boss to tell her what to do or not, only to friendly offer suggestions here or there, or have little fun at her expense (obviously friendly, and good intended).
+1 on electric epilator (the only thing that would pull that stubble). +2 on ibuprofen 1 hr before she does it.
With obvious disclaimers and such...
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Quote from: elkie-t on October 06, 2017, 02:05:16 PM
Everything I write is my opinion and not divine truth set in stone (that is your moderatorial prerogative).
And she already expressed regrets of her actions - see her last post "I'm sick of stubble". And the problem with stubble is that until it grows all the way back - you cannot wax it :) and you need to shave it every other day (at least).
It's somewhat acceptable on legs (after all a little stubble isn't highly visible), but a major irritation on hands
And Roll is totally entitled to think she did everything right and continue to do so. I'm not her boss to tell her what to do or not, only to friendly offer suggestions here or there, or have little fun at her expense (obviously friendly, and good intended).
Elkie,
I obviously did not see your response as an expression of an opinion. To me it looked like a criticism as I indicated. If that was not your intention I certainly apologize but will ask you to keep in mind that it frequently is not what one says, but how it is said that comes through.
I did this much of my adult life. Steadily more feminine. Grooming, clothes, colors, makeup etc. At times a pretty tomboyish look but i knew where i was going. There is a lot to be gained from pushing the zones of comfort, humans i think are in need of this. This is how we innovate and change.
Careful though. Push past your comfort zone too far too fast and you could fall right off the couch and get a concussion from the coffee table. (Sorry, had to inject some humor.)
HUGS!
Roll, i am not sure amazon waxing kit is effective... Julia1996 used to recommend Brazilian (hard) wax, she might elaborate more on it. You still have plenty of time to figure it before your stubble is long enough to be pulled with wax.
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Have been wearing earrings since April and painting my nails for ages, padding a bra for the last 2 months and tempted to put my C cup breast forms in. Work uniform gender neutral , baggy trousers, polo shirt, sweat shirt and made sure they have room to expand (in the chest area!!!) skinny jeans and T shirt other wise at the moment but do have a good selection of tops and leggings
Quote from: elkie-t on October 06, 2017, 02:48:25 PM
Roll, i am not sure amazon waxing kit is effective... Julia1996 used to recommend Brazilian (hard) wax, she might elaborate more on it. You still have plenty of time to figure it before your stubble is long enough to be pulled with wax.
I was actually just reading about that, and Amazon even has a really nicely discounted jar(right now all of my purchases are online for logistics), but I don't know if I want to invest in the necessary accessories like the wax heater, so for now I just have a set of the ready to use strips in cart ("kit" was a misnomer on my part).
I admit though I am really considering tapping into money I really, really shouldn't and grabbing a remington ilight quartz for like 30% off on Groupon, but that seems like such a potential backfire and I've resisted thus far. The opinions on the home IPL devices are so divisive, but if it did work even a little bit I would love to get started on more semi-permanent removal of places like arm, which would require the shaving regardless. This is getting a wee bit off topic though, so I'll leave it at that. :D
The first thing I did to my appearance was to shave my arms. It felt wonderful to see the hair gone. I'll probably start epilating at some point if I can deal with the pain (not sure I can) - but I don't have much shadow there despite dark hair, but my arms are quite tan. I've received no comments except from my wife (who likes me with less hair). And I'm fine with some hairs.
I also got more feminine earbuds. :) They make me happy.
And I have a small trans flag in my cube. I wanted something sort-of subtle but so that allies and other trans people would have a sign.
Will people figure it out? Maybe. But the path I'm on is not one I'll be able to hide forever anyhow.
Quote from: ToriJo on October 06, 2017, 07:34:48 PM
And I have a small trans flag in my cube. I wanted something sort-of subtle but so that allies and other trans people would have a sign.
Will people figure it out? Maybe. But the path I'm on is not one I'll be able to hide forever anyhow.
Ooh, now there is an interesting idea to push the envelope. I'll start investigating.
Which ear buds did you get? I got the b&o h5.
Bari Jo
Quote from: Roll on October 06, 2017, 04:18:18 PM
I was actually just reading about that, and Amazon even has a really nicely discounted jar(right now all of my purchases are online for logistics), but I don't know if I want to invest in the necessary accessories like the wax heater, so for now I just have a set of the ready to use strips in cart ("kit" was a misnomer on my part).
I admit though I am really considering tapping into money I really, really shouldn't and grabbing a remington ilight quartz for like 30% off on Groupon, but that seems like such a potential backfire and I've resisted thus far. The opinions on the home IPL devices are so divisive, but if it did work even a little bit I would love to get started on more semi-permanent removal of places like arm, which would require the shaving regardless. This is getting a wee bit off topic though, so I'll leave it at that. :D
Home IPL is too advanced for me to comment on. I never used one, although someone on this forum said she used one with a good success.
If I decide to go girly again (I am in detransition state now) - I would try hard strip-less brazilian wax for the first removal of longer hair and maybe go with electric epilator (tried one before - I can tolerate it ok, but it's not too good on longer hairs) for touch ups now and then.
But as usual - hike your own hike, and your mileage may vary.
Just a couple quick thoughts, (no jokes this time, i promise. ;) )
Regarding epilators and electric tweezers: for most of the face and beard area, the pain isn't really that bad after the first couple times you use it. The nerves desensitize to the point the discomfort is about the same as tweezing an individual hair. The only beard area that breaks this rule is the upper lip. There are just so many nerve endings that while I'm getting used to it, it still hurts after dozens of uses.
As far as waxing goes, I'm not 100% sure on this one, but I've heard a lot of stories that Sugaring has longer lasting results than waxing. Supposedly the discomfort and technique is almost exactly the same. It's only the medium used that changes. Wouldn't hurt to look into it.
HUGS!
Quote from: JennyBear on October 07, 2017, 03:34:58 AM
Regarding epilators and electric tweezers: for most of the face and beard area, the pain isn't really that bad
I've got a lot of experience tweeting and epilating my face. Tweeting is a single hair at a time usually. Epilating works quickly, and if you are clearing a dense area it can be quite painful. Once the beard is clear, you'll need to exfoliate every day and we'll, otherwise, ingrown hairs, I got those no matter what I did. Also you'll need to epilate hair at first growth is seen or felt. It's that new hair that comes out easy and is less painful. If you let them be, they will get rooted like they were before the first clearing and be painful again.
As an aside too, I gave up on epilating and am doing it the old fashioned way of electrolysis. 8 hours so far this week;)
Bari Jo
Quote from: JennyBear on October 07, 2017, 03:34:58 AM
Just a couple quick thoughts, (no jokes this time, i promise. ;) )
Regarding epilators and electric tweezers: for most of the face and beard area, the pain isn't really that bad after the first couple times you use it. The nerves desensitize to the point the discomfort is about the same as tweezing an individual hair. The only beard area that breaks this rule is the upper lip. There are just so many nerve endings that while I'm getting used to it, it still hurts after dozens of uses.
As far as waxing goes, I'm not 100% sure on this one, but I've heard a lot of stories that Sugaring has longer lasting results than waxing. Supposedly the discomfort and technique is almost exactly the same. It's only the medium used that changes. Wouldn't hurt to look into it.
HUGS!
I wouldn't recommend sugaring for the face. Sugar and honey wax isn't strong enough for male pattern facial hair. If you want to wax your face use Brazilian hard wax. It doesn't use strips. The wax itself hardens and you rip it off. Hard wax will remove the thickest hair and it picks up hairs that aren't long enough for sugar wax to grab.
However, I have heard a few people say that waxing can make future permanent hair removal difficult.
Quote from: Julia1996 on October 07, 2017, 07:13:05 AM
However, I have heard a few people say that waxing can make future permanent hair removal difficult.
That's one of my big fears right now, I don't want to do anything to damage long term hair removal since I am a prime candidate for having it bea fairly straightforward process with 90% laser. (At least for face and chest/back. I don't mind the idea of normal maintenance of normal feminine hair places, so like if I did the IPL at home it would be only on areas such as arms probably.)
My electrolysist also said to me that waxing/tweezing can make their job harder, and therefore slower (more expensive) and more painful.
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Quote from: meganjames2 on October 07, 2017, 08:57:02 AM
My electrolysist also said to me that waxing/tweezing can make their job harder, and therefore slower (more expensive) and more painful.
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Mine told me she could tell I had been epilating, then gave me the same talk.
Did they say anything about the home IPL?
Quote from: Roll on October 07, 2017, 02:13:44 PM
Did they say anything about the home IPL?
That 'should' be fine, I don't believe IPL or laser damage the follicle root in the way that plucking can.
I'd had 8 laser sessions before starting electro, and my electro person had no issue with it. Others here are doing or have done both at the same time (alternating).
As always, check with a trained specialist! [emoji5]
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Quote from: meganjames2 on October 07, 2017, 02:25:03 PM
I'd had 8 laser sessions before starting electro, and my electro person had no issue with it. Others here are doing or have done both at the same time (alternating).
The clinic I go to does both. We're starting with laser to get all the dark hairs (and according to the operator, even though a lot of my whiskers look gray, they have dark roots), then when we've gotten all that the laser will do, will switch to electrolysis.
Steph
Back to the thread, showed work mate a photo of my new shoes, his reply was bloody hell. Wait till I rock up in a wig and breast forms then.
Quote from: davina61 on October 07, 2017, 03:54:31 PM
Back to the thread, showed work mate a photo of my new shoes, his reply was bloody hell. Wait till I rock up in a wig and breast forms then.
I love it. Showing off the new thing is part of the fun. I just got my pink ear buds today and can't wait to use them at work!
When I was getting hot flushes at work, I'd be fanning myself, my boss would just walk pass and sigh hehe [emoji4]
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Quote from: Bari Jo on October 06, 2017, 08:30:49 AM
RavenMoon, we are following similar paths. I'm an artist at my work, fine art. We have lgbt clubs and gay days though so no worries. I'm sure people have an idea that I'm transitioning already, but I haven't come public yet. Once I get the hair thing under control I will. Hopefully by then I'll be gendered correctly. I havent had that in forever!
I've pretty much looked like I do now several times in my life. Then I'll cut my hair and look more "normal" and all. Then I'm back to this. Lol
I'm a graphic artist by trade. Work in the printing industry. That industry is dying though. This is the main reason I haven't started HRT or anything.
I used to make good money. Got one of those Social Security letters where the show your income over the years. 15 years ago I was making $64,000 a year. Now I'm barely able to pay my rent. When I got divorced in 2010 I was unemployed. Then I was self employed, which went ok until I became homeless two years ago.
So this all put a big wrinkle in my plans. I didn't want to start something I couldn't finish, so I've been languishing in androgyny land. Lol.
My singer/song writing partner says she'll help me by loaning me the money for FFS and stuff, but just today she's trying to convince me I should stay as I am now.
I say to her "I'll be 60 next month. I'd like to be cute before I'm too old. She said "you're cute now!"
I have a few close friends who seem bothered that I want to change my face a bit. [emoji53]
Does this ever get easy?
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Quote from: elkie-t on October 05, 2017, 11:30:36 AM
Shaving arms and legs ain't a big deal (done that several times - no reaction from any one, no reaction afterwards either). But sooner or later - your 'push' will stop being a push and will be recognized as a transition :)
Ditto from me on shaving. I am in the Southern US and have had shaved legs all summer with no reaction while wearing shorts most of the time. I have had past the shoulder length hair for years. No reaction. Dress androgynous. No problem. Even when dressing in women's if androgynous clothes. No problem. Even blue and pink trim sneakers. No problem.
Now getting my ears pierced. That is a bridge too far, for right now.
Push it baby.
Quote from: RavenMoon on October 07, 2017, 11:08:59 PM
Does this ever get easy?
I sure hope so, but I doubt it;(
Quote from: Bari Jo on October 08, 2017, 02:26:42 AM
I sure hope so, but I doubt it;(
Yes. Or MUCH easier if not completely easy.
》¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤《 That is how much we are dealing with in the beginning.
》¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤《 This is what it is like at 1 1/2 Years.
》¤¤《 This is at nearly 3 years.
Of course it all depends on how much we put into it.
So in the beginning, for most of us is everything. We have to tell everyone and deal with that. Hair is nowhere close. Voice could scrape barnacles of the bottom of ships. Therapy, HRT, clothes, walk and ' Oh my LORD I have more hair than a Yeti! ' It goes on and on and seems like it is going to be too much. But we want this more than we want air so, how do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time. Therapy, whew! One bite down! HRT! Oh my, how did I ever live without this?!? My voice only sounds like Hellboy got kicked in the nards SOME of the time.... bite.... bite....
By a year and a half I was seriously tired of elephant but miracle of miracles, I was starting to pass. So many things done, male clothes gone, court date to get my name change finally set. Huh. Maybe I will make it after all.
Now? Elephant is not on the menu so much anymore, Rhino takes up more of my time. Surgery date is set and just have to get as healthy as I can before that. After? Who knows, maybe be a vegan who has to eat elephant so rarely that the few crumbs that are left are only a nostalgic reminder of how far I have come.
Again, it all depends on how much effort goes into it but every little bit gets us one step closer. So many people feel like time is our enemy but it is not, it's the best friend we can possibly have. Sadly it can be hard to see that when dysphoria is a red hot pitchfork repeatedly stabbing our soul.
Quote from: FinallyMichelle on October 08, 2017, 03:47:18 AM
Yes. Or MUCH easier if not completely easy.
Thank you Michelle. I keep looking at all the things I'm doing just to present the first time. You are right it'll pay off in the future.
Bari Jo
Quote from: FinallyMichelle on October 08, 2017, 03:47:18 AM
But we want this more than we want air so, how do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time.
Elephant Paella:
Place 5,000 lbs Elephant steak in world's largest slow cooker, due to the nature of elephant meat it takes this prep. Cut up 450 Spanish onions and place in slow cooker, along with 2 pounds of Saffron threads (a little goes a long way), and broth of choice to cover (for a traditional elephant paella, a seafood stock works best). Cook on slow until tender, roughly 5 weeks. In a gigantic pan, brown 5,000 lbs Rhino chorizo (Rhinizo!). Place slow cooker mixture in gigantic pan, along with 10,000 cups of Arborio rice, 5,000 cups of sweet peas (frozen works well here), mix very well, and then top with sliced sweet red peppers (about 250 should do it). Cook on an open flame until rice is tender and begins to caramelize on the bottom, but don't burn it!
... Why did I type this?
Quote from: Roll on October 08, 2017, 08:09:06 AM
Elephant Paella:
Place 5,000 lbs Elephant steak in world's largest slow cooker, due to the nature of elephant meat it takes this prep. Cut up 450 Spanish onions and place in slow cooker, along with 2 pounds of Saffron threads (a little goes a long way), and broth of choice to cover (for a traditional elephant paella, a seafood stock works best). Cook on slow until tender, roughly 5 weeks. In a gigantic pan, brown 5,000 lbs Rhino chorizo (Rhinizo!). Place slow cooker mixture in gigantic pan, along with 10,000 cups of Arborio rice, 5,000 cups of sweet peas (frozen works well here), mix very well, and then top with sliced sweet red peppers (about 250 should do it). Cook on an open flame until rice is tender and begins to caramelize on the bottom, but don't burn it!
... Why did I type this?
Still bet it tastes like chicken.
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Quote from: Bari Jo on October 08, 2017, 07:51:36 AM
Thank you Michelle. I keep looking at all the things I'm doing just to present the first time. You are right it'll pay off in the future.
Bari Jo
I was just thinking about this from a daily preparation perspective. Right now I'm budgeting 3 hours to get ready for my therapist appointment. I thought about that and realized... thaaaaaaat's not really maintainable for day to day life. But then it hit me, it won't be forever. Taking hair out of the equation is like an hour and a half of that alone. With any luck HRT will mean I don't have to spend 45 minutes going overboard on makeup, plus that will just get faster over time in general (already has significantly in just a few days). Moving to the coming out part of everything... close family is the hard part, and they come first. Coming out after that will be a cakewalk in comparison.
Behaviorally, learning new habits is hard. But once they become the new habits, they become easy because that's how habits work. :D
Quote from: meganjames2 on October 08, 2017, 08:12:29 AM
Still bet it tastes like chicken.
It tastes like spoo.
Steph
(Does anyone get that? Anyone? Bueller?)
Quote from: Roll on October 08, 2017, 08:09:06 AM
Elephant Paella:
Place 5,000 lbs Elephant steak in world's largest slow cooker, due to the nature of elephant meat it takes this prep. Cut up 450 Spanish onions and place in slow cooker, along with 2 pounds of Saffron threads (a little goes a long way), and broth of choice to cover (for a traditional elephant paella, a seafood stock works best). Cook on slow until tender, roughly 5 weeks. In a gigantic pan, brown 5,000 lbs Rhino chorizo (Rhinizo!). Place slow cooker mixture in gigantic pan, along with 10,000 cups of Arborio rice, 5,000 cups of sweet peas (frozen works well here), mix very well, and then top with sliced sweet red peppers (about 250 should do it). Cook on an open flame until rice is tender and begins to caramelize on the bottom, but don't burn it!
... Why did I type this?
Try buffalo, takes much less prep, easier portions to deal with, and tastes much less gamey. Still, your post made me hungry. lol
HUGS!
Quote from: Steph2.0 on October 08, 2017, 10:09:50 AM
It tastes like spoo.
Steph
(Does anyone get that? Anyone? Bueller?)
Nope, but spoo is another term fit standard poodle. I had to cover Fantas eyes from this post:)
Quote from: Bari Jo on October 08, 2017, 01:46:22 PM
Nope, but spoo is another term fit standard poodle. I had to cover Fantas eyes from this post:)
Oh my gosh, sorry Fanta! Nothing personal. Maggie the Wunderhund says hiya.
Didn't anybody watch Babylon 5?
Steph the Geek
Quote from: Steph2.0 on October 08, 2017, 10:09:50 AM
Quote from: meganjames2 on October 08, 2017, 08:12:29 AM
Still bet it tastes like chicken.
It tastes like spoo.
Steph
(Does anyone get that? Anyone? Bueller?)
Does it taste anything like Shmoo?
Quote from: Steph2.0 on October 08, 2017, 01:53:37 PM
Oh my gosh, sorry Fanta! Nothing personal. Maggie the Wunderhund says hiya.
Didn't anybody watch Babylon 5?
Steph the Geek
I always wanted to, but it was so hard to keep up with syndication airings since it would come on weird times for someone my age at the time (like 13ish? It was early-mid 90s right?). I should go back and marathon it someday, even if Straczynski did help ruin Spider-man.
Quote from: Dena on October 08, 2017, 02:13:57 PM
Does it taste anything like Shmoo?
From Wikipedia:
Shmoos are delicious to eat, and are eager to be eaten. If a human looks at one hungrily, it will happily immolate itself — either by jumping into a frying pan, after which they taste like chicken, or into a broiling pan, after which they taste like steak. When roasted they taste like pork, and when baked they taste like catfish. (Raw, they taste like oysters on the half-shell.)
Mmmmm... shmoo
Steph
PS: Plural for shmoo is shmoon. Now you've learned something today, and can go back to bed.
Quote from: Roll on October 08, 2017, 08:17:44 AM
I was just thinking about this from a daily preparation perspective. Right now I'm budgeting 3 hours to get ready for my therapist appointment. I thought about that and realized... thaaaaaaat's not really maintainable for day to day life. But then it hit me, it won't be forever. Taking hair out of the equation is like an hour and a half of that alone. With any luck HRT will mean I don't have to spend 45 minutes going overboard on makeup, plus that will just get faster over time in general (already has significantly in just a few days).
It took me about 30 minutes at most to dress up, 10 minutes at minimal time when I was in a hurry and would only do my face... well, maybe I'm a slacker in my routine.
Quote from: elkie-t on October 08, 2017, 03:53:51 PM
It took me about 30 minutes at most to dress up, 10 minutes at minimal time when I was in a hurry and would only do my face... well, maybe I'm a slacker in my routine.
I have fast growing, very dark hair on Celtic skin that requires daily maintenance(technically twice a day really). I'm budgeting extra time for this since its a special occasion, but in general if I want to be presentable it is going to be a huge investment each morning. :-/
Yeah, you are most likely will have the best improvement when your facial hair is gone. My facial hair is blond and not much visible for 2 days after a quick shave ;)
Quote from: Bari Jo on October 08, 2017, 07:51:36 AM
Thank you Michelle. I keep looking at all the things I'm doing just to present the first time. You are right it'll pay off in the future.
Bari Jo
Yes it will, big time. :)