So, here is an odd question:
In the process of coming out, a few of my friends totally opened up and I now know all details of their kinks, preferences, relationships and sex life.
It still strikes me a bit odd. Is this just them trying to relate or returning my openness? My transition is in no way sexual...
Some people are just very, very confused about transgender people and transitioning. It baffles me the things they'll come out with. Did you explain to them that this is who are you are it's not part or your sexuality or really anything sexual whatsoever? Might be worth bringing up exactly what it means to be trans if that's what they're relating it to. You could be right in thinking it's them being more open with you and returning the favour but im not sure how them shouting about their sex life could be called a favour haha. Id have a chat with them if you're close to them and just ask them if they've got any questions and do your best to educate.
Quote from: sarah1972 on October 19, 2017, 08:50:33 PM
Is this just them trying to relate or returning my openness?
This is probably the reason. People tend to value honesty and openness, and they might have felt closer to you after your coming out therefore wanting to share a secret as well.
Quote from: sarah1972 on October 19, 2017, 08:50:33 PM
So, here is an odd question:
In the process of coming out, a few of my friends totally opened up and I now know all details of their kinks, preferences, relationships and sex life.
It still strikes me a bit odd. Is this just them trying to relate or returning my openness? My transition is in no way sexual...
You're not alone. It's either the fact they just feel that level of trust with us, which is positive. Or that yes, they are conflating gender and sexuality.
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I think it's an acknowledgement that you're being open and honest, so they are too.
Rope, by the way. I like rope. Nice to meet you!
Hugs, Devlyn
A major part of my life and awakening over the past 5 years or so ... and sadly its taboo!
I'm sure your friends are just returning openness.
And plenty of us are kinky. I happened to discover that about my sexuality at the same time I realized and came out about being trans and I certainly conflated them myself.
This isn't unusual, plenty of women explore sexually as they're realizing they're trans. I know not everyone who's trans is happy about that and certainly I don't like being the object of ignorant fetishes, then again having my own kinks, I've learned that it's better to educate people about us than judging them.
That is how I see it...
Nice meeting you Devlyn! I am Sarah and I am boring (now that my slut phase is over). But then Ropes are still on my bucket list ;D
Quote from: Devlyn Marie on October 20, 2017, 06:03:05 AM
I think it's an acknowledgement that you're being open and honest, so they are too.
Rope, by the way. I like rope. Nice to meet you!
Hugs, Devlyn
Quote from: Devlyn Marie on October 20, 2017, 06:03:05 AM
Rope, by the way. I like rope. Nice to meet you!
To use as a restraint, or do you see a piece of twine and think "Mmm, that's a sexy clove hitch"? :D
I knew all my friends' kinks long before I knew that I'm trans, but I have noticed since that people who find out that you're trans do feel more comfortable telling you about their differences.
Regarding the sub-topic about rope, (pun not intended but I wish I had actually thought of it), being tied up brings back memories of childhood abuse but I don't mind if other people do it.
:
April 22, 2015, the day of my first face to face pass in gender neutral clothes and no makeup. It may be months to the next one, but I'm good with that!
Being transgender is just a phase. It hardly ever starts before conception and always ends promptly at death.
They say the light at the end of the tunnel is an oncoming train. I say, climb aboard!
Think outside the voice box!
Quite a few people out there are still under the impression transsexualism is all about cross dressing and some sort of obsession with gender bending. Maybe that's why they thought it was you opening up about a kink, and thought they should/could reciprocate info. But also it could be just that it's a very personal admission, and they also decided to share some personal admissions.
Since I first read this, I kept picturing it over and over in my head as though it were a comedy sketch or scene from a movie. (Person 1: "I'm transgender." Person 2: "I really like to be spanked." Person 3: "I'm heavily involved in the adult baby scene, and am wearing a diaper right now." Person 1: "Uhhh, good to know. Thanks for sharing, I guess?")
I feel like I've seen something that was pretty close to this at some point, maybe multiple times, but I really can't remember what. The only thing that occurred to me is a scene from near the end of the 90's movie Airheads (Brendan Fraser, Adam Sandler, Steve Buscemi, etc). The main character has a reveal that he used to be a nerd, and the crowd chimes in for support with their own personal pasts of being less than cool ("I used to play D&D too!"). And then there is one guy who goes waaaay too personal and misses the point entirely. Not quite the same, bit similar, though don't think it is what I am mostly thinking of, as I feel as though I've seen something dealing specifically with escalating fetishes and it's driving me nuts I can't remember what it was.
OMG... I have a very vivid phantasy. That would have been stuck in my head forever.
It was not that bad but it did come close. I still think it is more a gratitude for being so open. And since being trans is still so rare, they seem to believe I can relate or be as accepting as they are.
Quote from: Roll on October 21, 2017, 01:14:26 PM
Since I first read this, I kept picturing it over and over in my head as though it were a comedy sketch or scene from a movie. (Person 1: "I'm transgender." Person 2: "I really like to be spanked." Person 3: "I'm heavily involved in the adult baby scene, and am wearing a diaper right now." Person 1: "Uhhh, good to know. Thanks for sharing, I guess?")
Yes I have learned some things about my friends and there husbands fetishes and fantasy. A few days ago I was at my cis female friends house when her husband came home early from work. He knew me before I went full time. He as not seen me in 8 months when he saw me as a girl his jaw dropped, he was very polite talking to me than he started talking about sex and how he wanted me in a 3 way with his wife. I thought he was joking but he has been asking her if I would consider it. I never would have thought he would even speak to me after he found out I was transgender but ya I was wrong.
I kinda wish more people would post about their fetishes.
I feel like I'm in front of a crowd with my pants down.
Another one of my fetishes. >:-)
Quote from: Devlyn Marie on October 21, 2017, 07:16:27 PM
I kinda wish more people would post about their fetishes.
I feel like I'm in front of a crowd with my pants down.
Another one of my fetishes. >:-)
Well see I like to be watched the more people watching the better I am very submissive. :)
Quote from: Devlyn Marie on October 21, 2017, 07:16:27 PM
I kinda wish more people would post about their fetishes.
I feel like I'm in front of a crowd with my pants down.
Another one of my fetishes. >:-)
If I were to write about my sex life, it would be a book full of blank pages. :angel:
Cool, we can draw Natalie! >:-)
Very submissive and voyeuristic
Quote from: Devlyn Marie on October 21, 2017, 07:16:27 PM
I kinda wish more people would post about their fetishes.
I feel like I'm in front of a crowd with my pants down.
Another one of my fetishes. >:-)
Ok, ok... I own two custom made latex catsuits... have not worn them since starting transition. Maybe I should, they are made for a B cup...
Quote from: Devlyn Marie on October 21, 2017, 07:16:27 PM
I kinda wish more people would post about their fetishes.
Well, while it's not so much a fetish as a fantasy, there is this one thing involving three bowling pins, a life size cardboard cut out of Wilma Flintstone, and a posh elderly British gentleman dressed as a Roman Gladiator...
Quote from: Devlyn Marie on October 21, 2017, 07:16:27 PM
I kinda wish more people would post about their fetishes.
I feel like I'm in front of a crowd with my pants down.
Another one of my fetishes. >:-)
I was trying to be coy ... you will get me into terrible trouble Devlyn ;~)
In short, I'm in a long term relationship with a Daddy Dom where I take the role of his pet.
I also work part-time as a Dominatrix.
So ... it would be easier to list the things I haven't tried ...
I'm a competitive person, but I can see I'm not winning this...
In terms of sex, missionary in a bed is about as wild as I've got (in my previous gender role).
In terms of fantasies, I used to have a few, but well I just don't any more... wonders of AAs I guess...
Always happy to be corrupted though [emoji48]
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Quote from: Devlyn Marie on October 21, 2017, 08:30:45 PM
Cool, we can draw Natalie! >:-)
Well I have a lot more i like to be tied up I like to be whipped bitten hair pulled smacked on my butt and more guess it is your turn😛
My first introduction into fetish was also bondage. Me being bound up - his idea. I couldn't stop laughing. I ended up with me laughing at a sad droop and he had put a mask on and had a whip. I thought it was hilarious.
I don't think I helped his ego.
Quote from: Cindy on October 22, 2017, 05:38:05 AM
My first introduction into fetish was also bondage. Me being bound up - his idea. I couldn't stop laughing. I ended up with me laughing at a sad droop and he had put a mask on and had a whip. I thought it was hilarious.
I don't think I helped his ego.
Haha.
I think I'd be up for trying most things if a partner wanted to. My only exception is pain, not my thing; if doing something hurts, then I'm stopping.
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Same here. Took about 2 month HRT and I lost most interest in anything considered Fetisch. I settle for some cuddling these days... maybe some of it come back one day...
Quote from: meganjames2 on October 22, 2017, 01:12:54 AM
In terms of fantasies, I used to have a few, but well I just don't any more... wonders of AAs I guess...
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Quote from: sarah1972 on October 22, 2017, 06:03:56 AM
Same here. Took about 2 month HRT and I lost most interest in anything considered Fetisch. I settle for some cuddling these days... maybe some of it come back one day...
I totally understand I love to cuddle even more I would prefer it to sex but if someone cuddles with me really well than that gets me turned on and the more I get turned on the more I am willing to do just have to hit the right buttons. I could not be the one that starts sex at this point
I won't go into detail, but I spent years trying to out kink my desire to be trans. I had a couple girlfriends I met on alt dot com too. I think I've just about experienced everything intensely. Advice, play safe, and make sure you can trust your play partner. Without that trust the enjoyable play can be terrifying. As you can see by me being here the kinks and fetish never overtook my desire to be a girl.
Quote from: Devlyn Marie on October 21, 2017, 07:16:27 PM
I kinda wish more people would post about their fetishes.
I feel like I'm in front of a crowd with my pants down.
Another one of my fetishes. >:-)
Goodness! What would mummy say? I'm the prim type who has never had any fantasies or fetishes.
Oh all right, you can stop beating me with the rope! I sometimes fantasized about men's feet. I was always afraid that it is a gay thing rather than a trans thing, as even cis women don't like men's feet. I was never able to indulge that fetish, though. And I used to fantasize about being shipwrecked with a chest full of sun dresses and at least one sailor. Shut up Mary, shut up shut up shut up!
Fetishes.
Wow.
I wasn't quite sure we could talk about such things here!
Lately, I suppose I can say I've found videos online of cis men having anal sex with "toys" that I really enjoy watching. I freely admit to having voyeristic tendencies, even pre-T, but now its ramped up to another level entirely!
Ryuichi
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What a interesting thread. Thank you for sharing everyone. My boyfriend has a lot of kinks. When I first started dating him I came really close to dumping him because of it. I had no experience with bondage and kink and I'm ashamed now to admit it, but at the time I considered BDSM deviant behavior. The only experience I had with it was from movies. Much like how movies portray us, they portrayed people into S&M as weirdos and pervs.
After we talked about it I understood it better and he slowed down with it and eased me into it. He has quite a few kinks but I wouldn't say they are fetishes. The real fetish for him is the control/domination. His kinks are just part of that. The fact that he's kinky at such a young age makes me wonder if it's something that's inborn in people who like kink.
Since everyone else shared I will too. Tristan's kinks are bondage/restraint, role play, interrogation play, blindfolds, tickling, spanking (not hard), ice, wax, leather, sensory deprivation and a couple that aren't appropriate to mention on the open forum.
My kinks, ...........(crickets chirping)......... I don't have any. I don't mind his kinks because he likes them so much but I don't find them sexually arousing. A couple of them I don't especially like but I compromise. The only thing that I actually find arousing is regular kissing & foreplay. I'm just dull and boring I guess. :eusa_shifty:So we switch off. Sometimes we just have regular old sex and then sometimes I let him restrain me.
I did hook up with a guy who had a fetish before I transitioned. He liked for someone to fart in his face. :icon_weirdface: :icon_yikes: I'm not kidding. It didn't go very far because as soon as he told me that I couldn't stop laughing. I felt bad for laughing at him but I totally couldn't help it.
Quote from: Megan. on October 22, 2017, 01:12:54 AM
In terms of fantasies, I used to have a few, but well I just don't any more...
I find this rings far too true. I used to be very open to experimentation. I wasn't overly kinky, but I did enjoy anal play and the occasional dressing. I still enjoy anal play. Turns out the dressing wasnt a kink, but me trying to tell me to be me.
Nowadays, I don't really have much in the way of fantasies. Certainly they don't happen often. Occasionally, there is the thought of bringing someone else into bed with my wife and I. Sometimes its a lady, sometimes a man, and sometimes a transwoman. None are a likely scenario to actually happen.
Truth be told the one about bringing a man into play scares me because I legitimately have no idea how to act in that scenario. Also, I am okay with being submissive with a woman, but scared to with a guy. Also, I just generally don't find men attractive. Only about 4 times has that occurred. Perhaps things will change after surgery.
Fwiw, life is good and I see no reason to screw with things.
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Quote from: Julia1996 on October 26, 2017, 08:11:21 AM
> Much like how movies portray us, they portrayed people into S&M as weirdos and pervs.
Exactly. The media set society back by perpetuating the wrong image. Among the right people and with consent, twisted stuff can be a blast.
I lived with a professional dominatrix for four years... she moved in with me. I wasn't a client, we of course played but had a normal (sort of) and very committed relationship. And lemme tell ya, the "how was your day at work dear" conversations could get interesting. We are still great friends but moved on. For the past 1-1/2 years I've been dating a wonderful male/female married couple and they are very active in the kink community.
When does this stuff start. I've met people who put up with it while dating then bailed (my ex-wife). I've met people who had no idea and then really got into it once things clicked (couple of ex-girlfriends) - and never stopped. My own memories are quite vivid back to age 4 and my mind started wandering just a bit in that direction back then, and quite a lot by age 10.
HRT hasn't diminished my drive at all. If anything, amplified as my physical whole-body sensations are stronger. Cuddling? Sure, I'll call it forced cuddling ;)
Julia - on that past no-go hookup with someone into gaseous play... I hope he wasn't a smoker.
Quote from: Kendra on October 26, 2017, 08:46:14 AM
Exactly. The media set society back by perpetuating the wrong image. Among the right people and with consent, twisted stuff can be a blast.
I lived with a professional dominatrix for four years... she moved in with me. I wasn't a client, we of course played but had a normal (sort of) and very committed relationship. And lemme tell ya, the "how was your day at work dear" conversations could get interesting. We are still great friends but moved on. For the past 1-1/2 years I've been dating a wonderful male/female married couple and they are very active in the kink community.
When does this stuff start. I've met people who put up with it while dating then bailed (my ex-wife). I've met people who had no idea and then really got into it once things clicked (couple of ex-girlfriends) - and never stopped. My own memories are quite vivid back to age 4 and my mind started wandering just a bit in that direction back then, and quite a lot by age 10.
HRT hasn't diminished my drive at all. If anything, amplified as my physical whole-body sensations are stronger. Cuddling? Sure, I'll call it forced cuddling ;)
Julia - on that past no-go hookup with someone into gaseous play... I hope he wasn't a smoker.
No, he didn't smoke. I wouldn't hook up with a smoker. Only because the stale cigarette smell makes me sick. When my dad still smoked that smell would gross me out when he kissed and hugged me. And he usually kisses me on the top of my head. I can't even imagine what it would smell like to mouth kiss a smoker. Eww. Why did you ask? Do smokers have really rank farts? I swear Tristan's farts smell worse after he's been eating vegemite. Lol
I asked about smoking because gas near something burning can be an explosive combination. :P
Quote from: Kendra on October 26, 2017, 09:42:48 AM
I asked about smoking because gas near something burning can be an explosive combination. :P
... I just suddenly remembered the gerbil rocket myth... (Google it, I'm not getting a smite for linking it here. ;D)
Quote from: sarah1972 on October 19, 2017, 08:50:33 PM
So, here is an odd question:
In the process of coming out, a few of my friends totally opened up and I now know all details of their kinks, preferences, relationships and sex life.
It still strikes me a bit odd. Is this just them trying to relate or returning my openness? My transition is in no way sexual...
Deja vu all over again, eh, Sarah? We are just trying to relate and return your openness.
Quote from: Devlyn Marie on October 21, 2017, 07:16:27 PM
I kinda wish more people would post about their fetishes.
I feel like I'm in front of a crowd with my pants down.
Another one of my fetishes. >:-)
On another forum, the subject of forced feminization came up, and I wanted to learn more about it, but I and others among the curious were rightly informed that it was not the right forum for satisfying our curiosity. I remember some of us being worried that a feminization fetishist might go further than originally intended and regret it, but I think that we were corrected on that point. Perhaps someone could start a topic where we can learn about it in a non-judgmental way. Many years ago, I had a lovely dream in which I woke up in hospital and doctors told me that they had accidentally given me a sex change. With hindsight, that was a sort of forced feminization fantasy.
There is a thread somewhere here about the poster engaging in forced feminization on their partner, leading the partner to start to transition, then the partner regretting it and transitioning back. Was a, uhhh... interesting... read.
Well considering everyone else is sharing my wife (who will probably end up reading this) and I have a pretty normal non kinky sex life.
I am definitely the one who was into kink, only minor stuff: being tied/restrained, spanking, ice, being submissive and a couple of other things. ;) We don't really do much / any and that's fine. I have however noticed that since I have accepted myself the attraction to those sorts of things has greatly diminished with one exception.
The main thing for me now & this maybe isn't so much a kink as just my own weirdness but I find it very disphoric to be in the top male missionary position these days and it's so overwhelming that just the thought of doing it makes the mood disappear.
Maybe I'm just weird.
-Mara
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Quote from: Zoetrope on October 22, 2017, 12:26:15 AM
... it would be easier to list the things I haven't tried ...
My experience also as a bit of deviant youth! There was so much fun and adventure. But much of that is long ago. It is amazing how elements so important at the time can change as other commitments and obligations impact day to day life. When the nest empties, a new bucket list will emerge. With luck, we shall have the endurance!
Quote from: Tammy Jade on October 26, 2017, 01:46:26 PM
Well considering everyone else is sharing my wife (who will probably end up reading this) and I have a pretty normal non kinky sex life.
Given the topic of the thread, that might not have been the best place to break up the sentence with a parenthetical note. It sort of reads "everyone else is sharing my wife". :-X ;D
Quote from: Roll on October 29, 2017, 09:23:07 PM
Given the topic of the thread, that might not have been the best place to break up the sentence with a parenthetical note. It sort of reads "everyone else is sharing my wife". :-X ;D
Grammar we was never my strong point.
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Quote from: Tammy Jade on October 26, 2017, 01:46:26 PM
Well considering everyone else is sharing my wife (who will probably end up reading this) and I have a pretty normal non kinky sex life.
[emoji23]
You only need a comma between "sharing" and "my!"
I'm glad I'm not the only one that read that sentence wrong! [emoji6]
Ryuichi
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Quote from: Roll on October 29, 2017, 09:23:07 PM
Given the topic of the thread, that might not have been the best place to break up the sentence with a parenthetical note. It sort of reads "everyone else is sharing my wife". :-X ;D
Yea, I was assuming the same. A dropped comma can turn your beloved into the neighborhood beloved.
>:-) >:-)
One minute your friends are being more open about their sex life, the next you're being roped into a weird orgy with toothpaste and balloon animals. But maybe that's just me.
Quote from: Tommygun on November 02, 2017, 09:29:19 AM
One minute your friends are being more open about their sex life, the next you're being roped into a weird orgy with toothpaste and balloon animals. But maybe that's just me.
ROFL, that sounds far too specific to be made up!
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Quote from: Tommygun on November 02, 2017, 09:29:19 AM
One minute your friends are being more open about their sex life, the next you're being roped into a weird orgy with toothpaste and balloon animals. But maybe that's just me.
... Was this the one with the ventriloquist watching from a doorway, having his dummy make disparaging comments like the two old muppets in the balcony? If so, I was totally at that orgy. (Not participating. I can't perform in the presence of balloon animals.)
Quote from: Tommygun on November 02, 2017, 09:29:19 AM
One minute your friends are being more open about their sex life, the next you're being roped into a weird orgy with toothpaste and balloon animals. But maybe that's just me.
Glad you made it! Next time we're filling the balloon animals with laughing gas, should be fun! >:-)
Quote from: Megan. on November 02, 2017, 09:33:41 AM
ROFL, that sounds far too specific to be made up!
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I've been places. I've seen things. They bought me a Subway sandwich, so it all worked out in the end. Was a little heavy on the marinara though.
Quote from: Roll on November 02, 2017, 09:40:04 AM
... Was this the one with the ventriloquist watching from a doorway, having his dummy make disparaging comments like the two old muppets in the balcony? If so, I was totally at that orgy. (Not participating. I can't perform in the presence of balloon animals.)
No, what kind of sick person brings a ventriloquist to an orgy? Party clowns, on the other hand... There's no shortage of balloons in such a case.
Quote from: Tommygun on November 02, 2017, 10:03:32 AM
I've been places. I've seen things. They bought me a Subway sandwich, so it all worked out in the end. Was a little heavy on the marinara though.
No, what kind of sick person brings a ventriloquist to an orgy? Party clowns, on the other hand... There's no shortage of balloons in such a case.
[emoji23][emoji23][emoji23] Omg, in my innocence I had to Google this. I'm not sure I can ever eat at Subway again with having some very odd thoughts.
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Safe to say everyone in this thread has odd thoughts... :laugh:
Quote from: Devlyn Marie on November 02, 2017, 10:09:44 AM
Safe to say everyone in this thread has odd thoughts... :laugh:
I don't have weird thoughts. I wear a tinfoil hat to keep the aliens and CIA from beaming me weird thoughts.
Quote from: Julia1996 on November 02, 2017, 10:21:58 AM
I don't have weird thoughts. I wear a tinfoil hat to keep the aliens and CIA from beaming me weird thoughts.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=urglg3WimHA
Quote from: Megan. on November 02, 2017, 10:07:24 AM
[emoji23][emoji23][emoji23] Omg, in my innocence I had to Google this. I'm not sure I can ever eat at Subway again with having some very odd thoughts.
Threads like this are where innocence goes to die. Cherish it.
Learning something new every day ;D ;D
Quote from: Tommygun on November 02, 2017, 10:03:32 AM
I've been places. I've seen things. They bought me a Subway sandwich, so it all worked out in the end. Was a little heavy on the marinara though.
No, what kind of sick person brings a ventriloquist to an orgy? Party clowns, on the other hand... There's no shortage of balloons in such a case.
Quote from: Tommygun on November 02, 2017, 10:03:32 AM
No, what kind of sick person brings a ventriloquist to an orgy? Party clowns, on the other hand... There's no shortage of balloons in such a case.
I mean, no one invites a ventriloquist anywhere. But who is going to turn them away when they do show up? After all, one day that dummy is coming to life and taking out anyone who denied them. I know I for one am not risking that.
Quote from: sarah1972 on November 02, 2017, 11:04:53 AM
Learning something new every day ;D ;D
With the content of this conversation, you might be lucky to forget just as much!
Quote from: Roll on November 02, 2017, 11:16:27 AM
I mean, no one invites a ventriloquist anywhere. But who is going to turn them away when they do show up? After all, one day that dummy is coming to life and taking out anyone who denied them. I know I for one am not risking that.
Steps before any orgy or general meeting should be taken to prevent demonic possession of both animate and inanimate objects. I had not considered this. Thank you for teaching me. I'll tell Nickelsmart to reschedule.