Beautiful women of the forums, I need y'all's help. I'm not an overly romantic guy, but my girlfriend is. I need some advice on what women want from their romantic partner. Is there certain things that y'all like or don't like? What is a romantic gesture that y'all want your own partner to do? I'm afab but my knowledge of women doesn't go past the age of like 10, so I need as much help as possible. Thank you in advance amazing ladies.
Hugs
Adrian (The Dorky, Shy Dude) 😎
I would say honesty and affection.
I look at it this way: if you want to be her #1, then make sure she knows that she is your #1.
Her and my princess are my #1s always. I just want to do something romantic (I watched Say Anything last night) but I have absolutely no knowledge on what women like. Is chocolate and flowers still good or has that been overplayed by men who barely put in effort?
I was never really good in this department. In 20 years of marriage, I don't think I ever truly bought a gift that really made my wife really feel like Wow. Maybe she said so, but not really. I think the best thing was a hand written note with some flowers one time with some gift certificates of things that I'd do for her. I was never really very romantic, I kind was one of those repressed guys. I found it hard to express that side of me. Sorry I can't be of much help.
But I can suggest be open with expressing your feelings as much as you can. This will go along ways.
Chocolate is always a winner with me! ;D
My ex specifically asked me not to get her flowers because they don't last very long. She wanted something that was going to be around for a long time. So I found a flat rock and I carved the words "I Love You" into it. I told her she will know it is always true because "it is carved in stone".
Jewelry is nice. It doesn't need to be fancy or expensive. If it is something she likes, she will like it more because it came from you.
The key is to find things that she likes and go with that. That means really listening to what she says and remember it. Then, not only is it something you gave from the heart but it also shows her that you do listen and she is heard. I think that tops the charts.
Quote from: Annaliese on April 24, 2025, 10:54:55 AMI was never really good in this department. In 20 years of marriage, I don't think I ever truly bought a gift that really made my wife really feel like Wow. Maybe she said so, but not really. I think the best thing was a hand written note with some flowers one time with some gift certificates of things that I'd do for her. I was never really very romantic, I kind was one of those repressed guys. I found it hard to express that side of me. Sorry I can't be of much help.
But I can suggest be open with expressing your feelings as much as you can. This will go along ways.
Thanks girl. I'm the same way, but I'm working on becoming more romantic and open.
Quote from: Lori Dee on April 24, 2025, 12:03:09 PMChocolate is always a winner with me! ;D
My ex specifically asked me not to get her flowers because they don't last very long. She wanted something that was going to be around for a long time. So I found a flat rock and I carved the words "I Love You" into it. I told her she will know it is always true because "it is carved in stone".
Jewelry is nice. It doesn't need to be fancy or expensive. If it is something she likes, she will like it more because it came from you.
The key is to find things that she likes and go with that. That means really listening to what she says and remember it. Then, not only is it something you gave from the heart but it also shows her that you do listen and she is heard. I think that tops the charts.
Haha love the rock idea. I made her some crochet flowers and added my cologne to it because she always misses my scent when I'm gone. I don't know if she's really a jewelry person because she never really has any one.
Quote from: Adrian26 on April 24, 2025, 12:09:53 PMI made her some crochet flowers and added my cologne to it because she always misses my scent when I'm gone.
That's a great idea! That's the kind of thing that works.
Does she not wear jewelry because of cost? Or the work that she does? Or sensitivity to metals, or leather, or fabric? Or is she just not into it?
The reason I asked is because I had a girlfriend (ages ago) who never wore jewelry. When I asked her, she said she doesn't have any. So I braided together some leather boot laces and made a bracelet for her. There was nothing romantic in the gesture or between us (just friends), but she loved it. By the end of the summer, she was wearing bracelets, ear rings and necklaces.
It wasn't that she didn't like them, she had just never had any. When she experienced wearing some, she found out that she really likes it.
Just an idea.
Quote from: Lori Dee on April 24, 2025, 12:45:38 PMDoes she not wear jewelry because of cost? Or the work that she does? Or sensitivity to metals, or leather, or fabric? Or is she just not into it?
Just an idea.
I think the cost. She likes silver jewelry (asked because I want to get her a promise ring and a necklace for her and her daughter), but she never treats herself to anything. She likes green, so I'm guessing an emerald would be good, but the only jewelry I have is my class ring and a necklace from my great grandmother that I got after her passing
Quote from: Adrian26 on April 24, 2025, 10:13:02 AMI need some advice on what women want from their romantic partner.
Hey Adrian,
Whole books could be written about this. Since you're asking, I'll answer from the heart, not for every woman, but as me. As a romantic woman, I want to feel seen, cherished, and safe. I love emotional honesty, deep listening, and consistent presence. I'm not looking for perfection, just someone real, open, and willing to grow with me. What hurts most is emotional distance, inconsistency, and silence when things get hard. For me, romance isn't about money. It's about intention, the thought behind the action. A message that says, "I'm thinking of you," or just holding me when words and the world fall short.
It sounds like you're already doing the hardest part, asking questions, seeking to grow, and being brave enough to change.
~ Lilis 💗
I should preface this by saying I am probably more clingy than Spiderman's underpants, and more high maintenance than a Saharan flower garden. Think Kathy Bates in "Misery", crossed with Glenn Close in "Fatal Attraction", with a dash of Kristanna Loken in "Terminator 3". So in my case what I'm about to say may result in bodily injury or stewed household pets, with a slight chance of global domination.
To expand on this a little:
Quote from: Lori Dee on April 24, 2025, 12:03:09 PMThe key is to find things that she likes and go with that. That means really listening to what she says and remember it. Then, not only is it something you gave from the heart but it also shows her that you do listen and she is heard. I think that tops the charts.
I am someone who isn't really into "stuff". And I can't stand chocolate. For me it's about memories. Things we do together that you can look back on and be like "Can you remember when we...?" To that end, pay attention to things she likes to do. Books she likes to read or her favourite movies. Things she's interested in. And make an effort to be into them, too. Even if she knows you clearly aren't, the gesture is enough.
Little things like a hot bubblebath surrounded by scented candles with a shoulder massage. Or a trip to somewhere she likes to go. Things you can make memories from together. That would be my jam. But we are all different. As Lori says, the important thing is to keep a sort of mental notebook and pay attention to what she says.
Quote from: Lilis on April 24, 2025, 02:00:43 PMHey Adrian,
Whole books could be written about this. Since you're asking, I'll answer from the heart, not for every woman, but as me. As a romantic woman, I want to feel seen, cherished, and safe. I love emotional honesty, deep listening, and consistent presence. I'm not looking for perfection, just someone real, open, and willing to grow with me. What hurts most is emotional distance, inconsistency, and silence when things get hard. For me, romance isn't about money. It's about intention, the thought behind the action. A message that says, "I'm thinking of you," or just holding me when words and the world fall short.
It sounds like you're already doing the hardest part, asking questions, seeking to grow, and being brave enough to change.
~ Lilis 💗
That makes sense. Taking from what you and others said, it seems like the common theme among women is just being there.
I hope I'm there enough for her, but I also want to do little things.
Quote from: Sephirah on April 24, 2025, 02:06:00 PMI should preface this by saying I am probably more clingy than Spiderman's underpants, and more high maintenance than a Saharan flower garden. Think Kathy Bates in "Misery", crossed with Glenn Close in "Fatal Attraction", with a dash of Kristanna Loken in "Terminator 3". So in my case what I'm about to say may result in bodily injury or stewed household pets, with a slight chance of global domination.
To expand on this a little:
I am someone who isn't really into "stuff". And I can't stand chocolate. For me it's about memories. Things we do together that you can look back on and be like "Can you remember when we...?" To that end, pay attention to things she likes to do. Books she likes to read or her favourite movies. Things she's interested in. And make an effort to be into them, too. Even if she knows you clearly aren't, the gesture is enough.
Little things like a hot bubblebath surrounded by scented candles with a shoulder massage. Or a trip to somewhere she likes to go. Things you can make memories from together. That would be my jam. But we are all different. As Lori says, the important thing is to keep a sort of mental notebook and pay attention to what she says.
I want to have shared memories like this, but she's so guarded. She never tells me what she enjoys, even when I practically bug her about it. She is a very headstrong, stubborn woman who doesn't like when I spend money on her.
Quote from: Adrian26 on April 24, 2025, 02:14:18 PMI want to have shared memories like this, but she's so guarded. She never tells me what she enjoys, even when I practically bug her about it. She is a very headstrong, stubborn woman who doesn't like when I spend money on her.
Then just be there for her, sweetie, and let her see that it's safe to let her guard down with you. That you won't hurt her and it's okay for her to be herself. The rest will come later. Just listen to her. The worst thing you can do with people who have a lot of walls up is to try to get them to break those walls down on any schedule other than their own. It doesn't work that way.
Give her safety, security, and love. And the knowledge that you'll always be there no matter what. The rest will follow in time. *hugs*
Quote from: Sephirah on April 24, 2025, 02:17:21 PMThen just be there for her, sweetie, and let her see that it's safe to let her guard down with you. That you won't hurt her and it's okay for her to be herself. The rest will come later. Just listen to her. The worst thing you can do with people who have a lot of walls up is to try to get them to break those walls down on any schedule other than their own. It doesn't work that way.
Give her safety, security, and love. And the knowledge that you'll always be there no matter what. The rest will follow in time. *hugs*
Well damn. I hadn't realized that me and my gf were really similar until you put it like that, but you're right.
Quote from: Adrian26 on April 24, 2025, 02:20:27 PMWell damn. I hadn't realized that me and my gf were really similar until you put it like that, but you're right.
You're definitely not alone in that, Adrian. A lot of people are going through a lot of stuff and sometimes don't realise they're shutting themselves off. Or sometimes they do. Mostly it just takes time, and knowing someone is there for you.
You got this. Both of you. <3
Quote from: Sephirah on April 24, 2025, 02:22:23 PMYou're definitely not alone in that, Adrian. A lot of people are going through a lot of stuff and sometimes don't realise they're shutting themselves off. Or sometimes they do. Mostly it just takes time, and knowing someone is there for you.
You got this. Both of you. <3
Thanks, Seph (sorry, random nickname ik) Hopefully it'll work out because I do love her, I'm just... stressed out I guess. I don't really know, life is just a lot rn
Quote from: Adrian26 on April 24, 2025, 02:25:21 PMThanks, Seph (sorry, random nickname ik) Hopefully it'll work out because I do love her, I'm just... stressed out I guess. I don't really know, life is just a lot rn
Haha, I quite like Seph. :)
It's okay, Adrian. Really. You have everyone here if you need to talk or vent or stuff. Just shoot a PM if you need to let off steam. The most important thing is you have each other. That's the best place to work from, whatever each of you is dealing with. Dealing with it together is better than dealing with it alone. And hell you basically just adopted a giant family to help you through stuff.
It'll be okay. *hugs*
Quote from: Sephirah on April 24, 2025, 02:29:10 PMHaha, I quite like Seph. :)
It's okay, Adrian. Really. You have everyone here if you need to talk or vent or stuff. Just shoot a PM if you need to let off steam. The most important thing is you have each other. That's the best place to work from, whatever each of you is dealing with. Dealing with it together is better than dealing with it alone. And hell you basically just adopted a giant family to help you through stuff.
It'll be okay. *hugs*
Yeah, I guess I kinda did adopt a giant family. But hell this family is full of women (love it tho), sounds like my Mexican family. Sadly, me and my girlfriend don't really communicate much. I try, but I don't really know how to communicate to someone in front of me, much less a romantic partner. I'm still getting rid of the "be seen, not heard" mindset. And then Lord knows my family would have a whole discussion about being grateful if I so much as say I'm stressed. But yeah
Quote from: Adrian26 on April 24, 2025, 02:37:57 PMI try, but I don't really know how to communicate to someone in front of me, much less a romantic partner. I'm still getting rid of the "be seen, not heard" mindset.
No need to say anything. Just be there. Small gestures, like a hug, touching her hand, or crocheted flowers, speak much louder.
You got this, bro!
Quote from: Lori Dee on April 24, 2025, 02:46:02 PMNo need to say anything. Just be there. Small gestures, like a hug, touching her hand, or crocheted flowers, speak much louder.
You got this, bro!
Didn't think getting called bro by a woman would make me smile as much as that did
Quote from: Adrian26 on April 24, 2025, 02:37:57 PMSadly, me and my girlfriend don't really communicate much. I try, but I don't really know how to communicate to someone in front of me, much less a romantic partner.
There are lots of different levels of communication, Adrian. You probably communicate more than you think you do. Let me ask you a question. Without getting too personal, could you tell me about her? What kind of person she is? What kinds of things she's into and... well... decidedly not into? What she values? Things like that. As I say, I don't need personal stuff, just things you've picked up from your relationship together. A lot of the time we don't communicate by talking. That is often the last form of communication people have.
QuoteI'm still getting rid of the "be seen, not heard" mindset. And then Lord knows my family would have a whole discussion about being grateful if I so much as say I'm stressed. But yeah
God I can't even begin to imagine what that's like, coming at it from the other side. To try and find your strength when the world wants to make sure you don't have any. The closest thing I can approximate it to is my programming that it's not okay to show emotion. Although even then I don't think that's in the same league.
All I would say to you, Adrian, is that you're doing an awesome job of being heard here. And every step forward is a step closer to the life you want. That's a start. Where you're in a place you can be yourself and experience what that means. And that's often all we can do; take life one step at a time.
You will get there. I believe in you. You seem like a very switched on dude.
She's a very independent woman. She values family, but doesn't let the opinions of her family stop her from making a decision and getting what she wants. She's driven, but very anxious and second guesses everything.
Growing up around boys, I also learned the "emotions are meant for the weak" stuff. I've never really been an emotional person, even long before coming out. Sure I cry, but if you knew me you'd never guess it.
Quote from: Adrian26 on April 24, 2025, 02:54:14 PMShe's a very independent woman. She values family, but doesn't let the opinions of her family stop her from making a decision and getting what she wants. She's driven, but very anxious and second guesses everything.
Uh.... yeah... you are very similar. You're like her male counterpart. :) And how much of that did you learn by talking to her and how much by just being together?
I am going to do something I don't often do, Adrian, and put my armchair shrink hat on. I am going to suggest that her family means a lot to her and she has put a lot of walls up around herself because it's the way she stops feeling hurt when she does something her family doesn't like. Precisely because they mean a lot to her. And she sees you as someone as close to her as her own family. I suspect she is scared to be vulnerable because it's been used against her in the past. But the after effects of it... the anxiety and unsurety, it lingers.
After listening to you, I think you are dealing with a lot of the same stuff. And you're very much just looking for a chance to do your own thing. But it's hard when you feel like you've had to fight against those you love just to be yourself.
I don't... I don't really know what to suggest, Adrian. Other than you both working on the premise that what you have with your girlfriend is a different kind of family. Where you both get to define that relationship and what it means. And the love you have for each other is a different kind of love that isn't built on expectation.
Quote from: Adrian26 on April 24, 2025, 02:56:17 PMI've never really been an emotional person, even long before coming out. Sure I cry, but if you knew me you'd never guess it.
Yeah but like... you're a guy. I mean there's probably a reason for all this and you kind of just are that way because you're a dude. It's like... a no brainer. Probably a lot of where all this stuff comes from. I cry at stupid stuff. Like really,
really stupid stuff, and I'm not even on HRT.
Don't ever make me watch "Armageddon". There aren't enough Kleenex in the world, lol.
Wtf, how are you not a licensed psychologist?!? You're right, no matter how much I just wanna say "Ama estoy bien." But I know you're right and it's something both me and her need to work on
Quote from: Adrian26 on April 24, 2025, 03:17:56 PMWtf, how are you not a licensed psychologist?!? You're right, no matter how much I just wanna say "Ama estoy bien." But I know you're right and it's something both me and her need to work on
I use my powahs for good, lol. Mostly just here. ;)
I think you're going to be okay, Adrian. I think you both just need time to work on the hurt, and the barriers it has sprung up for both of you. I think she loves you as much as you love her. You've just both been through some stuff and just have to feel... good... around each other. Outside of the stuff that's made you hurt. No one is ever really fine. Some people just hide it better.
Give it time. Time for you both to let the walls erode, rather than try to break them down. Just be there for each other. And I think it will be okay, for both of you. You have the foundations of something special, Adrian. Hold onto that. Talk when you feel you can, listen when you feel you can't. Most of all... love each other. :)
*hugs*
You're right and I will. Hopefully this will be the one
Quote from: Adrian26 on April 24, 2025, 03:25:08 PMYou're right and I will. Hopefully this will be the one
I believe in both of you.
You're the kind of guy a lot of girls can only dream of being in love with, Adrian. It's not wrong for ask for help and advice. It's not wrong to want to treat someone properly. And this has nothing to do with gender. Forget all this "bad guy" garbage you see in movies. That only applies to cheerleaders with pneumatic chests, as a plot device. The world doesn't work that way. Most people grow out of that before the age of 20.
Quote from: Sephirah on April 24, 2025, 03:36:17 PMI believe in both of you.
You're the kind of guy a lot of girls can only dream of being in love with, Adrian. It's not wrong for ask for help and advice. It's not wrong to want to treat someone properly. And this has nothing to do with gender. Forget all this "bad guy" garbage you see in movies. That only applies to cheerleaders with pneumatic chests, as a plot device. The world doesn't work that way. Most people grow out of that before the age of 20.
Well thank you! Around here, girls are still into the bad guys, but that's not gonna last much longer I hope.
Quote from: Adrian26 on April 24, 2025, 03:47:48 PMWell thank you! Around here, girls are still into the bad guys, but that's not gonna last much longer I hope.
Yeah when they see women as commodities and leaves the girl to raise a kid by themselves before moving on. *cough* my dad *cough*. I am kind of biased, I admit. These kind of people end up drowning in a bottle. I never went to my dad's funeral. Hated him to the end of his (and likely my) days. A lot of what they teach you guys, you really should ignore. It is not good.
You are so much better than that. And the kind of man I wish more men would be. I have the same hope that it will change. I think you can be a big part of that change. Like Ghandi said: be the change you want to see in the world.
Still gonna bug you for that steak, though. Do you need to down copious amounts of beer for that? I'm never really sure, lol.
Quote from: Sephirah on April 24, 2025, 03:54:36 PMYeah when they see women as commodities and leaves the girl to raise a kid by themselves before moving on. *cough* my dad *cough*. I am kind of biased, I admit. These kind of people end up drowning in a bottle. I never went to my dad's funeral. Hated him to the end of his (and likely my) days. A lot of what they teach you guys, you really should ignore. It is not good.
You are so much better than that. And the kind of man I wish more men would be. I have the same hope that it will change. I think you can be a big part of that change. Like Ghandi said: be the change you want to see in the world.
Still gonna bug you for that steak, though. Do you need to down copious amounts of beer for that? I'm never really sure, lol.
Yeah, I wanna raise my boys (if I ever have any) to be good, reliable people.
As for the steak, no beer needed to grill outside. Just a speaker, some meat, and some good company
Quote from: Adrian26 on April 24, 2025, 03:57:53 PMYeah, I wanna raise my boys (if I ever have any) to be good, reliable people.
As for the steak, no beer needed to grill outside. Just a speaker, some meat, and some good company
Adrian, if your boys turn out 1/10th the man you are, you can be proud of them.
Can you make this?
(https://theartoffoodandwine.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/06/Tomahawk-hero-shot.jpg)
Quote from: Sephirah on April 24, 2025, 04:01:54 PMAdrian, if your boys turn out 1/10th the man you are, you can be proud of them.
Can you make this?
(https://theartoffoodandwine.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/06/Tomahawk-hero-shot.jpg)
Hopefully they'll be good people
Give me the meat, a good smoker, some charcoal, and a good portion of the day and yes ma'am I can absolutely make you that
Quote from: Adrian26 on April 24, 2025, 04:05:33 PMHopefully they'll be good people
Give me the meat, a good smoker, some charcoal, and a good portion of the day and yes ma'am I can absolutely make you that
Yeah so see my post above. Prepare for mass world genocide. :P
Also... "ma'am" makes me feel warm inside. Thank you. Is a little thing but it means a lot. We take what we can get, right? :)
Quote from: Sephirah on April 24, 2025, 04:09:41 PMYeah so see my post above. Prepare for mass world genocide. :P
Also... "ma'am" makes me feel warm inside. Thank you. Is a little thing but it means a lot. We take what we can get, right? :)
well round here we're taught to respect the ladies around us, which in this case includes you. And yes ma'am we do make sure to enjoy the little wins we get and if a steak prevents world domination then I'll be more than happy to make you as many steaks as you want
Quote from: Adrian26 on April 24, 2025, 04:14:32 PMwell round here we're taught to respect the ladies around us, which in this case includes you. And yes ma'am we do make sure to enjoy the little wins we get and if a steak prevents world domination then I'll be more than happy to make you as many steaks as you want
This is why you're awesome, Adrian. :) A lot of people where I am treat women as... you don't even wanna know. But even so... I would take that over being treated the other way. That probably says something about me. I dunno. Desperation? Acceptance? It's kind of disgusting and affirming in the same breath.
Thank you. It takes a look outside yourself to value how someone else feels. Not many people have that. Men, women, non-binary... anyone. It's a big deal. Your GF is very lucky. If I were like 25 years younger... you would be the kind of person I would be like "This is the partner I want in my life."
Don't ever think you aren't enough for anyone, Adrian, or you don't have enough to offer anyone, because I promise that you do, and are.
Honey, find out what your GF likes to eat and cook that for her. By whatever means necessary. Get that comedy apron on and fire up the grill. You're in Texas. Literally
everyone likes meat down there. ;D Go full Hank Hill ;D
Quote from: Sephirah on April 24, 2025, 04:31:14 PMThis is why you're awesome, Adrian. :) A lot of people where I am treat women as... you don't even wanna know. But even so... I would take that over being treated the other way. That probably says something about me. I dunno. Desperation? Acceptance? It's kind of disgusting and affirming in the same breath.
Thank you. It takes a look outside yourself to value how someone else feels. Not many people have that. Men, women, non-binary... anyone. It's a big deal. Your GF is very lucky. If I were like 25 years younger... you would be the kind of person I would be like "This is the partner I want in my life."
Don't ever think you aren't enough for anyone, Adrian, or you don't have enough to offer anyone, because I promise that you do, and are.
Honey, find out what your GF likes to eat and cook that for her. By whatever means necessary. Get that comedy apron on and fire up the grill. You're in Texas. Literally everyone likes meat down there. ;D Go full Hank Hill ;D
Well ma'am, in my time of knowing you, I've learned that you're an inspiration, kind, funny, and amazing woman who is full of life. No matter what part of the world there's men who treat women like objects, toys to use and then toss. And I'm flattered that you'd want a partner like myself, and I know you'll find a good person to spend your life with. And heck I might fly over there with a Styrofoam cooler with steaks just to cook for ya
Quote from: Adrian26 on April 24, 2025, 04:40:06 PMWell ma'am, in my time of knowing you, I've learned that you're an inspiration, kind, funny, and amazing woman who is full of life. No matter what part of the world there's men who treat women like objects, toys to use and then toss. And I'm flattered that you'd want a partner like myself, and I know you'll find a good person to spend your life with. And heck I might fly over there with a Styrofoam cooler with steaks just to cook for ya
Yeah so... you made me cry. Dammit. Sorry. :embarrassed:
Thank you. <3
The world needs more guys like you.
Quote from: Sephirah on April 24, 2025, 04:44:02 PMYeah so... you made me cry. Dammit. Sorry. :embarrassed:
Thank you. <3
The world needs more guys like you.
Ain't no need to apologize for feeling something. The world could use some more women like the ones I've met here, very much like yourself
Quote from: Adrian26 on April 24, 2025, 04:45:49 PMAin't no need to apologize for feeling something. The world could use some more women like the ones I've met here, very much like yourself
I guess that's how we know who we are.
Thank you, Adrian, sincerely. I am properly reaching for the tissues right now, haha. I know it's dumb. Or it's just conditioning. Think engines and beers and stuff!
This is why I said to you before, you are every bit as inspirational as you think anyone else is. Just one thing can set someone off haha. Sorry... I mean not sorry but sorry.
Thank you for being here. For treating me the way a lot of people outside here don't. It means more than you know. I'll put the giant wad of tissues down for now haha.
*clears throat*
You're going to be okay, Adrian. The advice you wanted about how to be romantic and how to be better for your girlfriend... I think you already know a lot of it and do it without trying. You are kind, sweet, gentle, funny, but also pragmatic. And sometimes mysterious. You are a gift that someone just needs time to unwrap. As, I suspect, is your girlfriend.
Thank you. <3
Quote from: Sephirah on April 24, 2025, 04:53:39 PMI guess that's how we know who we are.
Thank you, Adrian, sincerely. I am properly reaching for the tissues right now, haha. I know it's dumb. Or it's just conditioning. Think engines and beers and stuff!
This is why I said to you before, you are every bit as inspirational as you think anyone else is. Just one thing can set someone off haha. Sorry... I mean not sorry but sorry.
Thank you for being here. For treating me the way a lot of people outside here don't. It means more than you know. I'll put the giant wad of tissues down for now haha.
*clears throat*
You're going to be okay, Adrian. The advice you wanted about how to be romantic and how to be better for your girlfriend... I think you already know a lot of it and do it without trying. You are kind, sweet, gentle, funny, but also pragmatic. And sometimes mysterious. You are a gift that someone just needs time to unwrap. As, I suspect, is your girlfriend.
Thank you. <3
Well I'm always more than happy to treat any woman with the utmost respect, because Lord knows women have it hard enough as it without some guy acting like a jerk and treating them like they don't matter. And ma'am if people aren't treating you like a damn queen I will gladly do damage control because ain't no one need to be treating anyone rudely.
Quote from: Adrian26 on April 24, 2025, 04:59:09 PMWell I'm always more than happy to treat any woman with the utmost respect, because Lord knows women have it hard enough as it without some guy acting like a jerk and treating them like they don't matter. And ma'am if people aren't treating you like a damn queen I will gladly do damage control because ain't no one need to be treating anyone rudely.
Yeah, see, you are the Texan guy the world needs more of. You make the Lone Star State kind of something awesome. Someone who can grill up half a cow and care about the people he's serving it to.
The conditioning we all go through tends to screw us up. AFAB, AMAB, trans, non-binary, whatever it is. It's like dragging a whole luggage train behind you, that you're trying to work through.
Adrian, you remind me of Nero. And that's probably the highest compliment I can ever give someone. He was my hero. My best friend. There's... and I don't mean this in the wrong way.. there's something about the dudes here that sets them apart from people who grow up with all the male conditioning forced on people AMAB. You have a quiet strength. What makes a man is how he makes himself. Not how the world makes him. That's you, Adrian. It takes more strength of character to be yourself than to fit a template.
And I think that's why I have massive respect for the guys here. Because you have an extra layer to fight against that trans girls don't. But it's also kind of vice versa. And why I wish more guys would come here. We both have our own struggles and seeing how we deal with it differently makes us all better.
When you meet someone special. You always know you met someone special. That's the beauty of this place. :)
You are someone special.
Quote from: Sephirah on April 24, 2025, 05:24:20 PMYeah, see, you are the Texan guy the world needs more of. You make the Lone Star State kind of something awesome. Someone who can grill up half a cow and care about the people he's serving it to.
The conditioning we all go through tends to screw us up. AFAB, AMAB, trans, non-binary, whatever it is. It's like dragging a whole luggage train behind you, that you're trying to work through.
Adrian, you remind me of Nero. And that's probably the highest compliment I can ever give someone. He was my hero. My best friend. There's... and I don't mean this in the wrong way.. there's something about the dudes here that sets them apart from people who grow up with all the male conditioning forced on people AMAB. You have a quiet strength. What makes a man is how he makes himself. Not how the world makes him. That's you, Adrian. It takes more strength of character to be yourself than to fit a template.
And I think that's why I have massive respect for the guys here. Because you have an extra layer to fight against that trans girls don't. But it's also kind of vice versa. And why I wish more guys would come here. We both have our own struggles and seeing how we deal with it differently makes us all better.
When you meet someone special. You always know you met someone special. That's the beauty of this place. :)
You are someone special.
Now you got me crying here. Nero seemed like a superhero. He always tried to help anyone he passed on his journey and being compared to him is the greatest commitment I have ever had directed to me. Thank you Seph.
Quote from: Adrian26 on April 24, 2025, 05:29:22 PMNow you got me crying here. Nero seemed like a superhero. He always tried to help anyone he passed on his journey and being compared to him is the greatest commitment I have ever had directed to me. Thank you Seph.
He was, Adrian. He was a guy who never stopped believing in himself but who also had crippling doubts about himself. And how the world would see him. He took his own life several years ago. He was a very pained soul, but someone who touched thousands of people and gave so many people hope. I do not think you will follow his path but you have his wit, his generosity of spirit, his.. father figure if you will. He was forum admin here for a long time and watched over it all with that kind of mentality.
That is you. You know how to show kindness and consideration. Understanding and the same kind of caring attitude. You're the guy that believes that everyone deserves a chance. And I love that about you. It only takes a soul to be a man. Not certain bits in certain locations.
That's you, Adrian. You've shown that many times over. You are my brother, if that's okay? At least someone I always wanted as a brother. I had 2 but... one of them died young and the other destroyed my life. I would rather consider you as the brother I always wanted. If that's okay?
I get this vibe from you, Adrian.
Hopefully you take something from it. :)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6CxSbcM0vw4
Quote from: Sephirah on April 24, 2025, 05:39:27 PMHe was, Adrian. He was a guy who never stopped believing in himself but who also had crippling doubts about himself. And how the world would see him. He took his own life several years ago. He was a very pained soul, but someone who touched thousands of people and gave so many people hope. I do not think you will follow his path but you have his wit, his generosity of spirit, his.. father figure if you will. He was forum admin here for a long time and watched over it all with that kind of mentality.
That is you. You know how to show kindness and consideration. Understanding and the same kind of caring attitude. You're the guy that believes that everyone deserves a chance. And I love that about you. It only takes a soul to be a man. Not certain bits in certain locations.
That's you, Adrian. You've shown that many times over. You are my brother, if that's okay? At least someone I always wanted as a brother. I had 2 but... one of them died young and the other destroyed my life. I would rather consider you as the brother I always wanted. If that's okay?
That's always more than alright. I'd be honored to be considered your brother
Quote from: Adrian26 on April 25, 2025, 08:03:16 AMThat's always more than alright. I'd be honored to be considered your brother
Thank you. People who say you can't choose your family... are wrong, haha. As long as you don't mind having a slightly neurotic big sister.
Quote from: Sephirah on April 25, 2025, 08:07:12 AMThank you. People who say you can't choose your family... are wrong, haha. As long as you don't mind having a slightly neurotic big sister.
I don't mind one bit. Seems like it runs in the family
Quote from: Adrian26 on April 25, 2025, 08:08:46 AMI don't mind one but. Seems like it runs in the family
Haha, love you, bro. <3 You don't seem to have homicidal tendencies, so I'd call that a win. :P
Quote from: Sephirah on April 25, 2025, 08:12:55 AMHaha, love you, bro. <3 You don't seem to have homicidal tendencies, so I'd call that a win. :P
As long as there ain't no one talking crap about someone for no reason I'm all good
Love you too sis
Yeah, see, you're a gentleman. Don't let anyone say chivalry is dead. It's alive and well in Texas. Y'all need to learn from this guy. And as a brit, my tongue doesn't say "Y'all" nearly as well as my fingers, lol.
Quote from: Sephirah on April 25, 2025, 08:18:42 AMYeah, see, you're a gentleman. Don't let anyone say chivalry is dead. It's alive and well in Texas. Y'all need to learn from this guy. And as a brit, my tongue doesn't say "Y'all" nearly as well as my fingers, lol.
Haha, well thank you kindly. And sadly chivalry is sorta dead among the younger generations
Quote from: Adrian26 on April 25, 2025, 08:23:46 AMHaha, well thank you kindly. And sadly chivalry is sorta dead among the younger generations
Sadly, you are right. The world needs more cowboy hats. Just sayin'.
Quote from: Sephirah on April 25, 2025, 08:27:25 AMSadly, you are right. The world needs more cowboy hats. Just sayin'.
Cowboy boots and the good ol' American Dream ain't so common no more
Quote from: Adrian26 on April 25, 2025, 08:29:36 AMCowboy boots and the good ol' American Dream ain't so common no more
No. But the stand up guy who cares and treats women with respect, and gentleness... those guys are still around. *looks at you* Even if it means no beans on a campfire, lol. It only takes a big heart to be a good person. And you are a good guy, Adrian. Something rarer and rarer these days.
Quote from: Sephirah on April 25, 2025, 08:32:55 AMNo. But the stand up guy who cares and treats women with respect, and gentleness... those guys are still around. *looks at you* Even if it means no beans on a campfire, lol. It only takes a big heart to be a good person. And you are a good guy, Adrian. Something rarer and rarer these days.
Sadly you're right sis, but hopefully one of these generations will get back to when women were treated like gems instead of trash
Quote from: Adrian26 on April 25, 2025, 08:35:52 AMSadly you're right sis, but hopefully one of these generations will get back to when women were treated like gems instead of trash
And men, too, Adrian. Guys like you. People do a lot of weaponizing gender these days. To fit whatever agenda they want to push. You guys have had it just as hard, and have been expected to be just okay with everything. You're right, one day I hope we just get to a place we're okay with just being okay with other people. Whatever they are born with. When people accept that isn't all life is... maybe that's the biggest step forward. :)
Quote from: Sephirah on April 25, 2025, 10:02:40 PMAnd men, too, Adrian. Guys like you. People do a lot of weaponizing gender these days. To fit whatever agenda they want to push. You guys have had it just as hard, and have been expected to be just okay with everything. You're right, one day I hope we just get to a place we're okay with just being okay with other people. Whatever they are born with. When people accept that isn't all life is... maybe that's the biggest step forward. :)
Hopefully it will