We had the frustrations of womanhood and manhood so we might as well have a thread on the frustrations of androgynehood.
1. Boys in the hood
2. Robin Hood
3. Not having a hood
4. Piercings in the hood (ok, only frustrating waiting for them to heal)
5. Rebis
- more seriously now -
6. Lack of recognition and place
7. All the clothing options in the world
8. No clothing options specifically for us
9. Detachment
10. Lack of resources
66. Questions about gender with only 2 options
11. Official documents like a birth certificate
12. Titles (particulalry when filling out official forms)
13. Dysphoria
And then, there are those who demand that we "make a committment" to one gender or another.
Quote from: Shades O'Grey on December 10, 2008, 01:46:18 PM
And then, there are those who demand that we "make a committment" to one gender or another.
yeah Shade-diddy, you got to man up and be a woman.
Looking too female
Not knowing how much recognition I actually need or deserve (constantly being afraid that I'm trespassing on a turf I have no right to, appropriation issues etc)
Seldom being 100% sure that I'm not just deluding myself
Feeling like a failed man
Feeling like a failed woman
Feeling guilty for not IDing/presenting as androgyne in more spaces
Feeling guilty for not having started IDing/presenting as androgyne earlier in life
Feeling guily for presenting as female to prospective empoyers
Worrying that I'm not presenting as female enough and this is affecting my employment prospects
Feeling like I should just be able to shrug all of this off or sort it out, and if I was "really" 3rd I would just be able to
Feeling bad for feeling bad, when there's so many people far worse off
Wondering if things will ever get better
That whole guilt thing is really interesting. I feel some of that too. I feel guilty about not being comfortable as a man or a woman. People sometimes infer or ask "why can't you just be a man?". For some reason I find it difficult to get the message accross that it hurts. :'(
That people freak out and try to make more out of your androgyny than what's there.
Oh, forgot: "I'm attracted to you but you look like a bloke/look like a woman, and this is making me uncertain about my sexuality. Therefore you should put on a dress/wear trousers, so I don't have to feel uncomfortable."
People just not wanting to think there is such a thing, that everyone has to be male or female...
Not really being able to find the words to explain others what you're going through...
Quote from: Nicky on December 10, 2008, 01:25:15 PM
5. Rebis
Lol!
Yes, having em around is a constant source of frustration, embarrassment and envy. :D
Quote
6. Lack of recognition and place
How about always feeling just a little like an outsider? Being able to
almost feel like belonging in a group of either men or women, but never getting quite there?
Quote
66. Questions about gender with only 2 options
11. Official documents like a birth certificate
In essence, not even having the option of coming out, as far as official paperwork is concerned.
Quote
12. Titles (particulalry when filling out official forms)
This was one of the definite perks of getting my Ph.D. Of course there are other reasons to be uncomfortable about presenting as Dr. such-and-so when ordering a T-shirt from a web store, but it still feels more right than Mr. :P
Quote from: Lokaeign on December 10, 2008, 03:35:42 PM
Looking too female
Or not feeling justified to get things fixed. After all, it's supposed to be no big deal.
Quote
Seldom being 100% sure that I'm not just deluding myself
And that goes both ways. Am I deluding myself that my gender issues are closely related to those experienced by binary transsexuals, or am I deluding myself that I'm not one of them?
Quote
Feeling like a failed man
Feeling like a failed woman
Also feeling like a failed TS. There are more gender stereotypes that we are breaking than just the cisgendered ones.
Quote
Feeling guilty for not IDing/presenting as androgyne in more spaces
Feeling guily for presenting as female to prospective empoyers
Worrying that I'm not presenting as female enough and this is affecting my employment prospects
In other words, feeling guilty for taking advantage of the binary presumption. Most people don't expect there to be androgynes, so usually they don't really see us as queer. A lot of the time we still have cissexual privilege, and many of us have male privilege, even after whatever passes for transition. But in the process we've got a few glimpses of how the system works, so having that privilege comes with quite a bit of guilt, and also a constant fear of losing it.
Quote
Feeling like I should just be able to shrug all of this off or sort it out, and if I was "really" 3rd I would just be able to
If gender doesn't matter to me, why does it matter that others don't see my gender? I guess the answer is that the premise is wrong: being androgyne does not mean that gender doesn't matter, just that neither of the two common options fit.
Nice thread, by the by. Thanks.
Nfr
The Biggy for me is Not Fitting in anywhere
I don't fit with sisgendered people
I dont fit with TS People
& I don't fit with cross dressers.
I'm just too different
am I realy the only non binary trans person in my RL Village :icon_cry:
there are many terms I come across that were ment for people who don't fit but the nice ones have been stolen by the binary TS
a while ago I posted on a forum started by the australian government finding about the issues of the "gender diverse" comunity and how the wording of laws should be done to be inclusive and not harmfull
My post was the only non binary post.
How about the one where when you try to explain to people, they say that that's just normal, everybody has masculine and feminine traits.
Quote from: Nero on December 11, 2008, 09:59:43 AM
How about the one where when you try to explain to people, they say that that's just normal, everybody has masculine and feminine traits.
Actually, that one doesn't bother me so much. To me, it's far better than the just-commit-to-one-or-the-other nonsense... which I've encountered
here.
Oh yeah, the binary has a huge fan club here, and a lot of people have a lot invested in that split.
Quote from: tekla on December 11, 2008, 10:21:19 AM
Oh yeah, the binary has a huge fan club here, and a lot of people have a lot invested in that split.
And if the binary works for them, great! But, it doesn't work for all.
Quote from: Emme on December 11, 2008, 10:29:41 AM
Wouldn't that make sense though? If transition wasn't such a pain the butt, and people could slide down the spectrum as needed, then I wouldn't see people making much of an issue of it. When you have to fight so hard to make something your reality, I can see why people would try and defend it. Otherwise, why work so hard to get there?
Yes, it does make sense for those who transition from one binary option to the other.
What doesn't make sense is for those who transition to demand that androgynes or non-binary-gender-variants commit to one half of a binary that doesn't seem to apply.
I wonder, that to the degree that a bunch of options are open, how compelled would the choice be? How strong is the drive to follow path a OR path b when you have paths from c-z open also.
And choosing the binary wouldn't bother me near as much if there wasn't the added burden of also buying into some of the worst stereotypes on both sides, and the investments in keeping those stereotypes as the norm.
Quote from: tekla on December 11, 2008, 11:12:39 AMAnd choosing the binary wouldn't bother me near as much if there wasn't the added burden of also buying into some of the worst stereotypes on both sides, and the investments in keeping those stereotypes as the norm.
I try to fight through this argument, actually. My frustration has really been very little to do with my body, but almost exclusively with the stereotypes and gender roles. I try to make the "male androgyne" or "androgynous male" thing work, but it's tedious to make this case to people who are absorbed in the existing stereotypes and gender roles.
I do most of the time feel guilty for not proving myself to be man enough, yet the inner girl is always screaming at me for being too much of a guy.
And by what criteria is any of that done? You didn't beat up enough people today? Most people never fight. Most guys don't fight. Yeesh, get a lawyer and all. Or what, you didn't fix anything? Or you cooked too well and that makes you a girl. Or your girl side was mad because you were so rude, and you think that's what being a guy is? Or what?
I guess that's kinda what I'm talking about. I bet all that stuff is just stereotypes left over from a past age.
Quote from: tekla on December 11, 2008, 11:12:39 AM
I wonder, that to the degree that a bunch of options are open, how compelled would the choice be? How strong is the drive to follow path a OR path b when you have paths from c-z open also.
A lot of this depends on environment and education. Without the proper support or understanding of the situations, regardless of the options available, nothing will ever change.
Environment to the degree that different places offer different choices to a huge degree.
tekla, that's almost how I feel. I feel like I'm supposed to be tough looking (I'm a good fighter, but I don't look like it), supposed to be not as emotional or caring, but I don't want to be. I want to be one of the guys, but also want to be one of the girls. But it's very hard to be both. Because I know the guys will get weirded out, the gay guys will make fun of me (some do already), and the girls will either love me even more, or get weirded out. And as a Pansexual, I want to love everyone. But nobody gets that, and both sides of me yell at me and tell me to pick one or the other, but I don't want to.
It's just hard, you know?
Yes, I'm aware that you can make enemies on both sides pretty quick, but once you get out in the world, you can make people feel good about it too. A lot of it depends on how you incorporate it in yourself. And another part is finding the people who are OK with it, and leaving the others alone.
Good point.
Quote from: tekla on December 11, 2008, 12:21:40 PM
And another part is finding the people who are OK with it, and leaving the others alone.
That can be tricky. But fortunately places like Susan's exists.
Yeah, thankfully. I'm actually noticing places like these are on the rise, so it's definitely become easier for us.
I like being Androgynous. Also being Bi-gendered, as annoying at it can get sometimes- I can't imagine myself being any other way.
I can't imagine myself being any other way either.
I don't know if anyone else notices this but there definitly seems to be a whole lot us comming out of the woodwork lately. I think popular youth culture is making it easier for androgynes to come to the realisation that they are androgynes (e,g, manga, EMO etc) by giving people a space to realise that hey, this is exactly how I feel inside.
1. Not fitting into a man's world, and not fitting into a woman's world either. Just kind of stuck in the middle. Having essentially no close friends because I don't fit in anywhere, and apparently i'm too weird.
2. As a part of #1, not having a label like MTF to apply to myself and not having a final dispensation/goal. I mean, what the hell do I aim for?
3. Being an outsider here on even on this board, even though a spot has grudgingly been made for androgynes.
4. Not being "trans" enough, and as a result getting blown off/ignored by other TS people.
Thats all that comes to mind at the moment.
I agree, but I haven't been here long enough to say whether or not I agree with number 3, because so far it seems like I'm finally no longer an outsider here.
Quote from: Mazarine_Sky on December 12, 2008, 01:30:38 AM
I agree, but I haven't been here long enough to say whether or not I agree with number 3, because so far it seems like I'm finally no longer an outsider here.
I had this thread in mind when I posted that.
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,22474.0.html (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,22474.0.html)
Ah, I can see where you're coming from on that...
The thread https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,22474.0.html (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,22474.0.html) lead in turn to https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,14714.0.html (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,14714.0.html).
I'm not sure I fully understand the following definitions.
Quote
Androgyne: An androgynous person
Androgynous: Being neither distinguishably masculine nor feminine, as in dress, appearance, or behavior.
If I understand these definitions properly, being androgynous "in dress, appearance, or behavior" is a prerequisite for being considered an Androgyne. If I understand these definitions properly, "androgyne" is not really a gender identity?
I identify myself as an androgyne. On occasion my dress might appear androgynous or maybe genderqueer. My physical appearance is definitely male. Without a great deal of money, that's not going to change. I'd need full-body hair removal, FFS, and the like to look more like something in between or neither fe/male. Behavior? It's typically a female role to prepare the family's meals. As I do that, does this count?
Closer examination makes me think I might not qualify as an androgyne according to Susan's definitions. As this is her site, I will not challenge these definitions at all. She does indicate that I'm free to start my own site or leave. Those are her rules and I intend to stick to them.
I don't really qualify as a cross-dresser either, though. I do wear women's clothes often, but I don't attempt to look like a woman when I do so. Is that an expression of androgyne?
I've posted this before and I'll do so now again. If I am at the wrong site, I will delete my account and go away quietly. It is not my intention to be disruptive.
Quote from: Nicky on December 10, 2008, 01:25:15 PM
We had the frustrations of womanhood and manhood so we might as well have a thread on the frustrations of androgynehood.
1. Boys in the hood
2. Robin Hood
3. Not having a hood
4. Piercings in the hood (ok, only frustrating waiting for them to heal)
5. Rebis
I'm only number 5? I have some work to do. >:(
Quote from: Lokaeign on December 10, 2008, 03:35:42 PM
Seldom being 100% sure that I'm not just deluding myself
Feeling like a failed woman
Feeling guilty for not IDing/presenting as androgyne in more spaces
Feeling guilty for not having started IDing/presenting as androgyne earlier in life
Feeling like I should just be able to shrug all of this off or sort it out, and if I was "really" 3rd I would just be able to
Feeling bad for feeling bad, when there's so many people far worse off
Wondering if things will ever get better
I hate those ones too.
Quote from: Shades O'Grey on December 12, 2008, 10:29:52 AM
I've posted this before and I'll do so now again. If I am at the wrong site, I will delete my account and go away quietly. It is not my intention to be disruptive.
You're not at the wrong site, Shades. We love you.
You can't be at the wrong place if you fit in. This is our clique and you're a part of it.
Besides, we're going to need someone to pin everything on if we get caught.
I agree with Reebs. Shades, you're definitely wanted. We'd miss you terribly if you left.
Thanks Rebis, Nero.
I just want to be sure that I'm not violating the rules of this site. If the site is intended for certain persons and I don't meet those criteria, then I should not be here.
I hope that my understanding of "androgyne" is just skewed a bit and that I really do belong here, as the site's owner has defined things.
Shades, here's one take:
QuoteAn androgyne is a person who does not fit cleanly into the typical masculine and feminine gender roles of their society. Much in the same way as androgyny, androgyne can be used in two related ways: on the one hand, to refer to someone whose gender role or presentation is not typically masculine or feminine, and on the other hand to someone who claims a gender identity outside male and female.
The underlines are my emphasis, but this definition is right from the Wiki. On the counts of both gender role and gender identity, you seem to fit the definition.
In the case of Susan's problematic example (an "androgyne" wanting insanely enormous breasts), it might be appropriate to exclude people who have (auto)erotic reasons. It's the same sort of clause that separates crossdressers from transvestic fetishists. Or MtF transsexuals from " ->-bleeped-<-cs."
Thanks, Kaelin.
I just went to the Wiki here and looked up androgyne, and the definition there seems a bit less rigid than the other one I'd found. So, I guess I'm OK.
There are two things you should keep in mind here.
First, what Susan wrote was in response to a pretty inflamed dispute about whether androgynes were real, or the gender binary was real, or the identities of various people on either side of the dispute were real. Ultimately the point was to stop the discussion from escalating to a forum-wide flame war, or else. Or so it seemed to me, at any rate.
Second, the wiki entry was recently edited by me, and I'd like to delude myself that I've got an insider's view on how it feels to be an androgyne. It's how I see this, and also as close to what I think can be considered a consensus here as I could make it. It's also consistent with my reading of Susan's definitions. However, if someone -- either Susan or one of you -- feels I've crossed some kind of a line, please let me know so I may make any appropriate apologies. On the other hand, if you agree with it, great.
Third (of the two points), I'm more than just a little tipsy right now, courtesy of an office Christmas party. Thanks for indulging me. :icon_drunk:
Nfr
Quote from: Shades O'Grey on December 12, 2008, 10:29:52 AM
I've posted this before and I'll do so now again. If I am at the wrong site, I will delete my account and go away quietly. It is not my intention to be disruptive.
Please stay! You're whatever gender you are, and that's good enough reason. Besides, TS is self diagnosis, so why not androgyne?
Z
Quote from: Seshatneferw on December 12, 2008, 05:16:04 PM
Second, the wiki entry was recently edited by me, and I'd like to delude myself that I've got an insider's view on how it feels to be an androgyne. It's how I see this, and also as close to what I think can be considered a consensus here as I could make it. It's also consistent with my reading of Susan's definitions. However, if someone -- either Susan or one of you -- feels I've crossed some kind of a line, please let me know so I may make any appropriate apologies. On the other hand, if you agree with it, great.
Your definition looks good ot me ;D
Z
Reading over that thread https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,22474.0.html (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,22474.0.html) I'm not really surprised that there was a negative response. A male-bodied person expressing the desire to have breasts is one thing, blatantly fetishistic drooling over a DDD-cup fantasy is out of line. I'd be very unhappy if I saw a comment like that.
I think it's fair to say something like "as an androgyne I feel like I'm not taken very seriously sometimes," but doesn't the duty lie with me as an androgyne to create a meaningful challenge to that by trying to set an example? I'm not terribly enamoured of the "dear fluffy little androgynes, how cute" stuff (I'm not a kid and my gender issues are not a joke), but surely the answer to that is to try and make a serious contribution.
The whole breast thing just seemed like a red hearing. I did not think that it was a good reason to deny the opportunity to review something that did not seem to fit the members of the site (unwillingness to see androgyne as a gender identity perhaps?). The definition in the wiki is far superior than the limited and inaccruate "Androgyne: An androgynous person. Androgynous: Being neither distinguishably masculine nor feminine, as in dress, appearance, or behavior." This definition did not take into account that many androgynes are not androgynous is dress apprearance and behavior (probably because of social preasure).
If Androgyne=Androgynous is the definition of the site then it would be more accurate to call this forum the androgynous forum. But if the definition used on the site is the one provided for in the wiki then I think we are sorted.
Because the society I live as part of only recognizes two genders as legitimate, I'm rarely perceived to be the non binary gender variant person who I am unless I out myself as such. People make an assumption that I'm my birth sex. I'm not!
To say that this is merely frustrating is an understatement. Being invisible is a never ending gnawing at the core of my being.
Z
I think a lot of the problems that arise come from alot of misunderstandings.
The general public doesn't understand TS, TG, gender, and sexuality. And they don't definitely don't understand the difference between them. Then the information they do get is nothing but sensationalistic (sp?) junk. And it all gets mixed up. Unfortunately the misunderstandings seep into this community as well.
Those of us who are not doing this for political, sensationalistic, attention, or other nonsensical reasons are lift to the bear the brunt of the overflow.
I know that because for a long time I tried to be a normal biogirl. I knew I was different, but I didn't want to minimize what those who needed more than I needed was going through.
I'm here now because I realized that I don't like being invisible. I don't like people seeing me for who I am. I don't want to hide anymore.....
Sorry if this seems choppy or incomplete, I lost track of my thought somewhere in the middle...
Quote from: Jemma on December 14, 2008, 06:43:04 PM
Sorry if this seems choppy or incomplete, I lost track of my thought somewhere in the middle...
Spoken like an Androgyne ;D
This will probably sound a little cheesy Jemma, but I know you exist. I don't want to be invisible either.
Quote from: Nicky on December 14, 2008, 07:29:02 PM
This will probably sound a little cheesy Jemma, but I know you exist. I don't want to be invisible either.
Thanks. :)
Quote from: Zythyra on December 14, 2008, 05:05:40 PM
Because the society I live as part of only recognizes two genders as legitimate, I'm rarely perceived to be the non binary gender variant person who I am unless I out myself as such. People make an assumption that I'm my birth sex. I'm not!
To say that this is merely frustrating is an understatement. Being invisible is a never ending gnawing at the core of my being.
Z
agreed
I agree too. I would put that at #1
My lonely androgyne soul bleeds so...
Sometimes I want to cry. I know it doesn't have to be this way for us and knowing that makes it worse.
My God, we're becoming big babies today.
We're The Invisibles? (http://media.comicvine.com/uploads/1/11785/246948-32919-the-invisibles_large.jpg)
Bagsy King Mob.
Quote from: Lokaeign on December 15, 2008, 12:07:45 AM
We're The Invisibles? (http://media.comicvine.com/uploads/1/11785/246948-32919-the-invisibles_large.jpg)
Bagsy King Mob.
I'll be Lord Fanny
Something I'm stuggling with is being told not to wear what makes me comfortable because they can't cope with me wearing what makes me comfortable but wont let me explain
Well, I'm too busy being frustrated by being in a dull job, having no money and being cold all the time - that's enough frustration to be getting on with.
Hi
I it's think it was a very old Alistair McLean novel, were someone was being tortued by the badies, that he said to his colleague. "Knowing the molecular make up of a snow flake is of no comfort when you are buried in an avalanche"
I think it's time I went to bed.
Good Night Australia
Cindy James
Quote from: Nicky on December 15, 2008, 08:53:39 PM
Quote from: Lokaeign on December 15, 2008, 12:07:45 AM
We're The Invisibles? (http://media.comicvine.com/uploads/1/11785/246948-32919-the-invisibles_large.jpg)
Bagsy King Mob.
I'll be Lord Fanny
can I be the redhead, not that it matters if we are invisable ;D :D
Quote from: Pica Pica on December 16, 2008, 02:04:09 AM
Well, I'm too busy being frustrated by being in a dull job, having no money and being cold all the time - that's enough frustration to be getting on with.
You're a real downer.
You should get an exciting job in a hot house.
Quote from: Rebis on December 16, 2008, 02:04:21 PM
Quote from: Pica Pica on December 16, 2008, 02:04:09 AM
Well, I'm too busy being frustrated by being in a dull job, having no money and being cold all the time - that's enough frustration to be getting on with.
You're a real downer.
You should get an exciting job in a hot house.
Or maybe an exciting job in a hot house.
Sometimes I'm not sure if I even fit in anywhere. I get offended whenever someone says I'm 'cute' or 'a lady', even though sometimes I just give up and act in the feminine way I've acted most of my life. I don't go out of my way to act masculine, but I'm pleased whenever someone says I look like a guy, or accidentally refers to me as 'him'. Basically I don't try to act halfway, or stick to any stereotypes but avoid others; I just act like myself and don't care if I'm he, she, or ze.
Quote from: CindyJames on December 16, 2008, 04:12:30 AM"Knowing the molecular make up of a snow flake is of no comfort when you are buried in an avalanche."
I like that. I think I'll use it.
I don't think the trans group I'm a member of has quite figured me out yet, but I've volunteered to be a moderator and for our correspondence team. Exciting. :D
regular normal T's are thrown off by us. :laugh:
heh. Personally, I think the straight and completely normal lady who comes would be weirder, but then again, she's a Mary Kay consultant...
Come to think of it, I had some meetings where there was one normal straight person (by 'normal', I mean - not a serial killer) and the other people were gay and trans.
It worked out, but it must be weird for a hetero-nontrans to have to listen to the complete opposite of everything they ever learned and lived be discussed by the rest of us.
Since I've never carried a gender identity (well, I schlepped one around for a while, but it didn't fit right), one of my biggest issues was simply not thinking like other people. In terms of social intelligence, the androgynous have the advantage of being able to look from outside the box, but have the disadvantage of not being in the box.
Also, knowing my body will never quite fit my soul. That's a bit of it right there. If I could do a Ranma 1/2 thing, that'd be cool - I mean, if I'm going to be tethered to something that just isn't me, I might as well be able to choose for the moment. A woman's body might not be any better than a man's body, but it certainly breaks the 29 years of tedium.
I use the trans prefix to also represent 'transcendent'
whatever it is that is me, transcends it's miserable packaging.
mmm, yeah, if i could have lived half and half - i'd like to live up to 35 as a woman and to 70 as a man. i like that.
Oh... and having people totally ignore your gender choice. Not like people who don't care (there are lots of people who don't care if you're a guy, a girl, or a 13,141st gender polyp, you're just a nice person and that's all that matters to them). I mean people for whom it really matters, and they totally ignore it, until they step on it and then get all indignant when you don't fall into their stickperson mentality.
Then again, I'm repeating my introduction post now. lol
Quote from: Rebis on December 22, 2008, 07:02:41 PM
I use the trans prefix to also represent 'transcendent'
whatever it is that is me, transcends it's miserable packaging.
Great way of thinking of it!
Quote from: Rebis on December 22, 2008, 07:02:41 PM
I use the trans prefix to also represent 'transcendent'
whatever it is that is me, transcends it's miserable packaging.
Nice.
I've actually been feeling rather feminine lately...and I don't like it. It's weird...I think it's a maternal thing, all the mom's boyfriend drama with my little bro (who is staying with me for a week and has become my shadow...) made me go a little 'mama wolf'. Very, very weird...I don't have the urge to wear dresses and get all dolled up or anything...I just feel...weird. I'll be glad when it goes away... :D
Quote from: Pneumonica on December 22, 2008, 06:18:23 PM
one of my biggest issues was simply not thinking like other people. In terms of social intelligence, the androgynous have the advantage of being able to look from outside the box, but have the disadvantage of not being in the box.
Indeed. My feelings exactly.
Lately, I identify as a lump. :-\
And what a lovely lump you are. :-*
Why, Thank you! :)
You're very welcome. :D
Quote from: Rebis on December 29, 2008, 01:17:30 PM
Lately, I identify as a lump. :-\
Lump sat alone in a boggy marsh
Totally motionless except for her heart
Mud flowed up into lumps pyjammas
She totally confused all the passing piranhas
Shes lump shes lump
Shes in my head
Shes lump shes lump shes lump
She might be dead
Lump lingered last in line for brains
And the ones she got were sorta rotten and insane
Small things so sad that birds could land
Is lump fast asleep or rockin out with the band
(sorry, this song went thru my head when I read that LOL....)
Quote from: Rebis on December 29, 2008, 01:17:30 PM
Lately, I identify as a lump. :-\
Does that mean that if we're bad we get you for Christmas? :P
Quote from: riven_one on December 29, 2008, 10:29:18 PM
Quote from: Rebis on December 29, 2008, 01:17:30 PM
Lately, I identify as a lump. :-\
Lump sat alone in a boggy marsh
Totally motionless except for her heart
Mud flowed up into lumps pyjammas
She totally confused all the passing piranhas
Shes lump shes lump
Shes in my head
Shes lump shes lump shes lump
She might be dead
Lump lingered last in line for brains
And the ones she got were sorta rotten and insane
Small things so sad that birds could land
Is lump fast asleep or rockin out with the band
(sorry, this song went thru my head when I read that LOL....)
Is that the real version I only know the Weird Al version "Gump"
Quote from: Kinkly on December 30, 2008, 02:35:42 AM
Quote from: riven_one on December 29, 2008, 10:29:18 PM
Quote from: Rebis on December 29, 2008, 01:17:30 PM
Lately, I identify as a lump. :-\
Lump sat alone in a boggy marsh
Totally motionless except for her heart
Mud flowed up into lumps pyjammas
She totally confused all the passing piranhas
Shes lump shes lump
Shes in my head
Shes lump shes lump shes lump
She might be dead
Lump lingered last in line for brains
And the ones she got were sorta rotten and insane
Small things so sad that birds could land
Is lump fast asleep or rockin out with the band
(sorry, this song went thru my head when I read that LOL....)
Is that the real version I only know the Weird Al version "Gump"
yes. I didn't know that there was a weird al version.
<--heads to youtube
Quote from: riven_one on December 29, 2008, 10:29:18 PM
Quote from: Rebis on December 29, 2008, 01:17:30 PM
Lately, I identify as a lump. :-\
Lump sat alone in a boggy marsh
Totally motionless except for her heart
Mud flowed up into lumps pyjammas
She totally confused all the passing piranhas
Shes lump shes lump
Shes in my head
Shes lump shes lump shes lump
She might be dead
Lump lingered last in line for brains
And the ones she got were sorta rotten and insane
Small things so sad that birds could land
Is lump fast asleep or rockin out with the band
(sorry, this song went thru my head when I read that LOL....)
darn. Now it's stuck in my head.
Quote from: Pneumonica on December 30, 2008, 01:15:02 AM
Quote from: Rebis on December 29, 2008, 01:17:30 PM
Lately, I identify as a lump. :-\
Does that mean that if we're bad we get you for Christmas? :P
You get stuck with me whether you are good
or bad. :P
My main problem is people who don't even know me DEMANDING that I conform to a specific gender. It urks me that some people believe that they have the authority to do so. Granted, I am more feminine than male, but I do have male traits and it keeps me balanced. It gets hard to ignore them sometimes. A lot of them are ultra republican, conservative Christians. I'm fine with Christians, but not when they use religion as a weapon.
ignore 'em. works for me
It's not that easy when you're surrounded by them in your daily life.
I fine that since the old adage is true, Familiarity breeds contempt- the more I'm around them the easier it is to ignore them, it just become part of the background noise. And vice-versa.
Perhaps so, but they seem to be very aggressive with their methods.
Walk very quietly but carry a chainsaw!
Quote from: Nicky on January 06, 2009, 06:41:18 PM
Walk very quietly but carry a chainsaw!
I dunno how that works, but I'd like to see it in action.
I finally had the time to read this thread, and hope it's not too late to add a couple of items to the list of frustrations. I know my situation is different than most of yours, but perhaps some can relate.
First, there are my wife and daughter's sentences that begin "You're the man..." For example, "You're the man: do something about that spider." or "You're the man; you should know how to fix that."
Second, are the disagreements with my teen daughter about who her father should be. As in: "You can't wear" a pink shirt or red shoes. As in: "It makes me uncomfortable to have you along when I or I and my mother are shopping for clothes."
Then, there are the nagging fears I might have harmed my adult son's psyche. He's bright and has a stable job, but dropped out of half a dozen colleges, relates better to cats than people, and drops of the face of the earth for months at a time. Before he was born, I worried I might not be man enough to act as father to a boy. Is he a misfit because I am so weird (at least I managed to get degrees in philosophy and dairy farming)?
S
you'd more likely have harmed it if you had played the part of mucho masculine father. With your eloquence and skill and reading emotions, i bet you did a great job.
Quote from: Pica Pica on January 14, 2009, 05:25:52 PM
you'd more likely have harmed it if you had played the part of mucho masculine father. With your eloquence and skill and reading emotions, i bet you did a great job.
Seconded.
Quote from: Shades O'Grey on January 14, 2009, 05:29:48 PM
Quote from: Pica Pica on January 14, 2009, 05:25:52 PM
you'd more likely have harmed it if you had played the part of mucho masculine father. With your eloquence and skill and reading emotions, i bet you did a great job.
Seconded.
thirded.
Quote from: Simone Louise on January 14, 2009, 05:19:39 PM
Before he was born, I worried I might not be man enough to act as father to a boy.
I have that exact fear. My boy is due to be born in May. I worry more about when they reach their teenage years, how it will affect their status in the male club, whether they will be ashamed of me, or whether they will be proud that I am their dad. For some reason I don't worry about the same things with my daughter.
I think as long as you let your children be who they are, they will be fine. As long as he's happy, I wouldn't worry too much.
Parents are made to worry.
As I am told my ex-wife warned my son: If you aren't careful, you'll grow up to be just like your dad!
S
But did she explain the precautions your son should take?
I'm trying to figure out what he had to be careful about. :laugh:
Quote from: Rebis on January 15, 2009, 09:56:06 PM
But did she explain the precautions your son should take?
I'm trying to figure out what he had to be careful about. :laugh:
Good question--and one I cannot answer. I heard the comment second- or third-hand without amplification. My ex and I are on cordial terms (she and current husband were at my house for Thanksgiving to dine with assorted children), but I avoid touchy topics.
S
This is for Luna Vyohr:
And only as a joke!
There is a Scottish comediam called Billy Connely. At one performance he gave a means to deal with the self righteous religous creeps.
Very slowly walk up to them. Invade their private space, until you are faace to face, have a smile on your face, disarming, then scream "F**k Off" direct to them. Then walk away.
I tried this to someone who shouted at me in the street. " What kind of freak are you". It worked, may not in LA ;)
Love Cindy James
I love the big yin