Hi all,
I had a very strange encounter the other day. I was shopping in an electrical department store for a new phone for the house. I was looking at this particular phone when this man walks up to me and starts asking me if I know where such and such a store is (yea right next door, lol). Anyway he proceeds to talk about the weather (rather cold here) and as he begins to walk away asks if I wanted to go for a coffee.
I didn't know this man at all and was rather disturbed by this and said no thank you. He did walk away thankfully. I'm not in a place to complicate my life with relationships right now whatever they might be anyway.
I was just struck by the fact that did he really think I was going to say yes I will go with you a complete stranger and have coffee, duh.
Stardust
I've seen it work. A cup of coffee is not a commitment, and its a very public open place.
Quote from: stardust on February 09, 2009, 06:21:33 AM
I didn't know this man at all and was rather disturbed by this and said no thank you. He did walk away thankfully. I'm not in a place to complicate my life with relationships right now whatever they might be anyway.
I was just struck by the fact that did he really think I was going to say yes I will go with you a complete stranger and have coffee, duh.
Stardust
Hi Stardust,
Congratulations on being "hit on" :)! I would be cautiously flattered, but flattered nevertheless, another grand event in your progress *smiles*.
No harm in a little java, as long as it's very public like tekla said. Keep your name (like on a credit card, etc) hidden away, try to pay cash, but hopefully
he's buying anyway ;) !
*huggs*,
Melan
Quote from: Melan on February 09, 2009, 10:45:13 AM
Hi Stardust,
Congratulations on being "hit on" :)! I would be cautiously flattered, but flattered nevertheless, another grand event in your progress *smiles*.
No harm in a little java, as long as it's very public like tekla said. Keep your name (like on a credit card, etc) hidden away, try to pay cash, but hopefully he's buying anyway ;) !
*huggs*,
Melan
Does this mean I've made it? yes I was flattered and I became rather shy in my reply. He was probably partially sighted though, lol.
I haven't dated for 30 years and I don't know if I could ever say yes in this kind of situation, unless as you say Melan, he's buying, lol. Thanks for the tips as well.
Stardust
Men are like that. Get used to it.
Quote from: tekla on February 09, 2009, 09:06:50 AM
I've seen it work. A cup of coffee is not a commitment, and its a very public open place.
I agree with this.
It's better than "Oh baby, heaven must be missing an angel 'cause she's right here in front of me. Can I buy you a drink." Which, by the way, I've also seen work.
I've had men come up to me and say "My room number is... Why don't you come up later" or hand me a napkin and say, "Here's the address to my house. Why don't you stop by and we can have some fun!"
Are these guys on drugs! Do they honestly think I'm going to bite on something like that?
Two guys hit on me saying their wife was dead "God rest her soul" and it would make her so happy if they found some love. ::) Another guy buys me and my GF drinks. When we thank him he scurries over to talk to us. He's all smiles but makes the mistake of mentioning he has kids. So I turn the conversation to focus totally on his kids. Every time he tried to get off it I went right back to the kids. It was like throwing water on a fire. Finally he said, "I thought you girls would be fun!" and left.
Naturally none of their nonsense got them anywhere! But it never ceases to amaze me how much BS a guy will spew out in hopes of getting a piece.
Julie
I come from the world of "I can get you backstage, ask me how." Don't even need to buy them a drink.
Quote from: Julie Marie on February 09, 2009, 01:37:43 PM
Are these guys on drugs! Do they honestly think I'm going to bite on something like that?
But it never ceases to amaze me how much BS a guy will spew out in hopes of getting a piece.
Julie
I still can not believe how stupid it is thinking I would say yes. I do have a brain, I was never ever like that and I suppose I never related to that, well I suppose it comes down to having brains in your pants instead of your head, lol.
Just a side comment, I like your tactic Julie and lots of fun too, lol.
Stardust
I guess that I'm more adventurous, stupid or like coffee more.
I would have accepted a cup of coffee from anybody, male or female, that I didn't perceive as a threat.
I've met a lot of "interesting" people by generally accepting offers.
The other week, I accepted an offer from a man to come over to his house for a drink after work.
I specified that the drink be coffee and I limited the activity to conversation.
He was quite unrealistically expecting more. Oh, well, too bad for him.
That a man has children does not rule him out; I've heard that people get divorced nowadays.
Besides, I'm not even sure that I like men. How else am I to find out?
Quote from: Renate on February 09, 2009, 09:08:27 PM
I guess that I'm more adventurous, stupid or like coffee more.
I would have accepted a cup of coffee from anybody, male or female, that I didn't perceive as a threat.
I am glad I am not the only one. While I doubt I would have accepted the offer were I single and interested I do not see anything wrong with asking a woman to coffee at a public place. In fact, to be frank, it strikes me as one of the better options. Some stranger's house however... not in a million years. But isn't it all so wonderful how diverse it all is? I think so anyway..
I have only ever be asked once of a 'date'. A guy in my park left a letter on my car and asked if I would like to come over and watch movies. I wasn't interested in him.
Since then nothing. Wonder what I am doing wrong or not doing. Maybe i should put my simulated wedding rings back on.
Janet
It's normal for girls to be hit upon by guys, I think it has something to do with butterflies, birds and bees. Never heard the story. Did anyone?
If you are comfortable in a public place; accept. If you are unsure don't. Don't agree to meetings in private/lonely places. Ask for his phone number, only ever give yours if it's a mobile (cell number). Flirt: it's fun. But be careful.
Ahh would love it!
Be careful
Cindy James
I only get approached by weirdos and creeps. Which is fair enough.. I dont exactly have what a studmuffin is looking for just yet. :laugh: :P
Well i'm afraid all those lines work on me especially the one about an angel missing in heaven. I have no problem having a coffee with someone as long as it's a public place. After all, as others have said there's no commitment and hey you just may hit it off.
i know, i know i'm just too easy, but it is fun, especially if they buy.
steph
i've seen, 'you don't sweat much for a fat girl' nearly work.
Well i'm afraid all those lines work on me especially the one about an angel missing in heaven.
Told 'ya it worked. By the way, the reason that men do that is to separate the wheat from the chaff. The people who will not play with the lines, will not play in bed either. It eliminates the dull right off the bat.
Life is way too short to have to put up with boring sexual partners.
:o how heartless.
still, its true.
Quote from: tekla on February 10, 2009, 05:51:00 PM
Well i'm afraid all those lines work on me especially the one about an angel missing in heaven.
Told 'ya it worked. By the way, the reason that men do that is to separate the wheat from the chaff. The people who will not play with the lines, will not play in bed either. It eliminates the dull right off the bat.
Life is way too short to have to put up with boring sexual partners.
Amen to that. I was even sung too ala Top Gun. Mind you he wasn't handsome and he was quite drunk, but i danced with him anyway - twas fun, and it did shut him up :)
steph
I get flirted with at work about once a week, which is a really weird feeling experience for me, since I have zero interest in guys, and I have my honey at home. But they don't seem to care, even if I mention my partner. Now....it becomes a stupid challenge.
One customer found out it was my birthday, so he says "Oh, what the hell", then plants a surprise kiss on me. UGGG! CHOKE...SPUTTER!
My girlfriend laughed nervously, and thought it was creepy, but thought it was a little funny he unknowingly chose a lesbian. Hehheh....he found out what hairspray tastes like, 'cause I spun my head around like Linda Blair, and all he got to kiss was the back of my head.
Renate:
".....I'm not even sure that I like men. How else am I to find out?"
If it even SOUNDS like an uckie thing.......then you know. I knew before that happened, and had it grossly reinforced by reality.
It seems like most of the guys that flirt with me are much, much younger than me, although I might look a year or two younger than my 58 years.
I had a guy that worked at the grocery store ask me out to his high school reunion last summer, politely said no.
Now, when he sees Marcy and I together shopping, he tries not to make eye contact.
Once in a while, I have a woman express interest in me, maybe a coffee later?
Been hit on in bookstores by women....never men.
I've been married, happy, and committed for so long, it's the kind of thing that always surprises me. I guess after a lifetime of not being in the female social role, it never occurred to me how often men randomly ask women out, who they know absolutely nothing about. It never happened when I looked like a guy.....except when once in a restroom, I politely deflected the attention of a gay guy, who was very, very drunk.
So....I'm a little perplexed sometimes, but careful of the people around me.
Last week's creepy thing.....sitting in the mall food court having lunch alone, and having a guy the age of my son staring and staring, then smiling and nodding his head. I gave him the lesbian sign, and told him he was barking up the wrong tree. It took him about 2o seconds to figure it out, then got up in disgust.
Oh Steph, your such a bad girl, but you knew that didn't you?
And, short of licking your GF's labia in public, what is a lesbian sign. By the way, straight guys think Lezzies are hot. They don't think "NO WAY" they are thinking "THREE WAY"
Quote from: tekla on February 10, 2009, 06:12:24 PM
Oh Steph, your such a bad girl, but you knew that didn't you?
And, short of licking your GF's labia in public, what is a lesbian sign. By the way, straight guys think Lezzies are hot. They don't think "NO WAY" they are thinking "THREE WAY"
They have signs?
steph
I was not aware of any, short of the Doc Martin boots.
Quote from: tekla on February 10, 2009, 06:21:30 PM
I was not aware of any, short of the Doc Martin boots.
and Leigh had a whip. But i think that Miss Bev was speaking about a hand sign, like flashing a gang sign??????
Okay everyone, what's the Lesbian sign that you flash to keep the guys away.
steph
Quote from: steph on February 10, 2009, 06:23:55 PM
and Leigh had a whip. But i think that Miss Bev was speaking about a hand sign, like flashing a gang sign??????
Okay everyone, what's the Lesbian sign that you flash to keep the guys away.
steph
I only know one hand sign that might work but its not lesbian :icon_geekdance:
Anyway cool thoughts everyone
Stardust
Flashing a sign will not work, most guys will ignore it if they even know what it is.
Or worse, see it and think either you are a challenge or a possible threesome.
Guys do not see lesbians as off limits, "you just have not met the right guy yet", of course they like to think they are that guy, or at least willing to try and be that guy.
Supposedly "the sign" is the old hippie peace sign turned backwards and sideways. How true this is, I am not sure.
Stardust's hand sign is a better approach and more likely to achieve the results you are after.
Quote from: tekla on February 10, 2009, 06:12:24 PM
And, short of licking your GF's labia in public, what is a lesbian sign. By the way, straight guys think Lezzies are hot. They don't think "NO WAY" they are thinking "THREE WAY"
Yeah, I suppose that might give them cause to think it's a sign. In an elevator going down, maybe. The lower g's give a wonderful twist on an old practice. But nah.....no pubic cunnilingus. Oops! sorry, typo....that would be publick.
Anyway, I'm and old lady, and in part of the US where lots of guys think lesbians are gross.
Yeah, there is a two finger sign, but others are usually some "L" configuration with 2 fingers, not that it matters. Lick I said, I'm an old lady, and it doesn't take much to make them lose interest anyway.
Bev
Post Merge: February 11, 2009, 05:40:40 PM
Quote from: Leslie Ann on February 11, 2009, 04:13:55 PM
Supposedly "the sign" is the old hippie peace sign turned backwards and sideways. How true this is, I am not sure.
I've seen that, and though I'm not sure, it most likely stands for a capital Lambda letter, which would definitely be easier made sideways.
Ok.. now I feel like I'm easy...
If the guy was cute... what's wrong with coffee? :(
Nothing is wrong with coffee, nor are you easy, some are just uptight and rather prudish. Not ever having learned to trust themselves, they transfer that behavior and attitude to all men. When in fact, that's not likely to be true at all.
Quote from: tekla on February 11, 2009, 06:32:20 PM
Nothing is wrong with coffee, nor are you easy, some are just uptight and rather prudish. Not ever having learned to trust themselves, they transfer that behavior and attitude to all men. When in fact, that's not likely to be true at all.
Yep go to agree, trust and confidence in ones self is key. And hey Miss Bev, cut out the "Old Lady" line, i'm 57 and i don't consider myself old :)
steph
Quote from: Leslie Ann on February 11, 2009, 04:13:55 PM
Guys do not see lesbians as off limits, "you just have not met the right guy yet", of course they like to think they are that guy, or at least willing to try and be that guy.
I really hate those those types of guys.
I really hate those those types of guys.
I've been that 'guy' and more than once. Never say never.
And Steph, you don't look that at all, but then again, you're only as young as you feel.
Quote from: steph on February 11, 2009, 06:58:36 PM
And hey Miss Bev, cut out the "Old Lady" line, i'm 57 and i don't consider myself old :)
steph
Just kidding. Trust me.....I'm NOT old. I've got you by a year, but feel 40. I hike, canoe, mountain bike.......I am definitely not your typical old lady. I'll save that rocking chair for when I AM an old lady......maybe 80-something.
Bev
Quote from: tekla on February 11, 2009, 07:20:10 PM
I really hate those those types of guys.
I've been that 'guy' and more than once. Never say never.
I guess hate isn't the right word -- maybe more that I find it offensive. And I've sort of been in the same position... wanting to be with the lesbian, but that's always a very conflicted thing for me -- I may want to be with her, but I don't want to be with her as me-in-guy-mode. Situations like that are when the GID feelings start roaring at full blast.
I was crossedressed both times, but with little ambiguity about what I was packing. Hey, everyone's favorite fantasy becomes a situation comedy more or less. I had a good time at least, you'll have to ask the other two couples how it worked out for them.
Quote from: tekla on February 11, 2009, 08:12:02 PM
I was crossedressed both times, but with little ambiguity about what I was packing. Hey, everyone's favorite fantasy becomes a situation comedy more or less. I had a good time at least, you'll have to ask the other two couples how it worked out for them.
I dunno, that doesn't really sound like what I mean. I was referring to the "you just have not met the right guy yet" mentality that you mentioned, and it doesn't seem like that's what was going on in your situation.
I'm always the right guy, and often the right girl too.
Quote from: tekla on February 11, 2009, 08:46:29 PM
I'm always the right guy, and often the right girl too.
... O_o
If you don't believe in yourself first the only people who will are going to be complete and utter morons.
Quote from: Renate on February 09, 2009, 09:08:27 PM
I guess that I'm more adventurous, stupid or like coffee more.
I would have accepted a cup of coffee from anybody, male or female, that I didn't perceive as a threat.
This. I'm always willing to meet new people, psychopathic or not.
I have this "problem" too. It's a problem for me because I'm not yet full time 100% but I still pass as a girl. Boys flirt with me and I'm not sure if they're into me because they think I'm a girl or a very feminine boy. :embarrassed: If I was full-time I wouldn't mind at all.
Quote from: tekla on February 11, 2009, 08:52:23 PM
If you don't believe in yourself first the only people who will are going to be complete and utter morons.
Its not that I don't believe in myself, I have a full RLT (not prudish either, lol) but the thought of going with a stranger that's just asked me for a coffee is just not me (I'm not that kind of girl), besides as I said, my lifes complicated enough with work and life that I'm not really sure if I want a relationship with anyone other than a platonic one. Yea call be boring, honestly my life is packed and it's even hard enough to find time for my appointments and yea I know, all work and no play makes me a bore.
I know men are like that, is it a Mars thing? and some just don't take no for an answer even with a finger sign, yea from Mars (that's one finger by the way lol). On Venus its different, lol.
I may get around to dating one day, who knows, but for now I am satisfied with my life.
Stardust
Quote from: stardust on February 12, 2009, 10:50:41 AM
snip> but the thought of going with a stranger that's just asked me for a coffee is just not me (I'm not that kind of girl), <snip
Stardust
i guess i must be that kind of girl.
steph
Quote from: Renate on February 09, 2009, 09:08:27 PM
That a man has children does not rule him out; I've heard that people get divorced nowadays.
really? i've also heard that just because someone has children, they could possibly have been not married at all or even have adopted without a partner! people these days.
I'm sort of getting used to being hit on by guys. When it first happened to me a couple of years back I was freshly out and it absolutely freaked me as I just didn't know how to deal with it. However, when I complained to a GG friend of mine, she just rolled her eyes heavenwards and said "Get real, dear, they're men what do you expect, you better get used to it and welcome to our world". I did get used to it, and though I have no real interest in taking 'things' any further, with the exception of those pestilential creatures who, once I get bored with them, won't take a "no" as no, I now quite enjoy the opportunity to fine hone my flirting technique ... Come to think of it, in the days I was still trying to be a boy we had names for girls like me ;).
The one thing that used to worry me a lot and still does to some extent is whether I'm being hit on because they assume I'm a natal woman or deliberately because they know I'm trans. I suppose it shouldn't really matter but somehow, whereas the former is a sort of affirmation of my femininity, the latter rather negates it.
As Gomer Pile would say... Surprise, Surprise, Surprise.
I just now went out to get a bit of fresh air. A guy in a 4x4 pick up with a dog stopped to chat me up. He seemed rather friendly. But obviously younger than me. I thought maybe he needed glasses. None the less I was flattered and wishing to be younger. I have a feeling he'll be back again. I feel a bit odd about that because I've never been with a guy in a sexual manner. Although many have approached me. Should I give in?
Me? no make up in blue jeans and a raggedy old hoodie? ???
I would so enjoy having men (or women, *winks*) hit on me lol, it would be a vindication that at least I'm somewhat attractive to someone lol. I'm not sure if it's my height, or what, but I scare people methinks ;) And frankly, I'm not a bad looker, ok, not a model but, certainly would look great on a (tall) guy's arm. The ex-bf and I looked rather cute together (while it lasted).
Does anyone think that having people "hit on you" is a vindication of "success" in transition? Or just a booster shot in the arm for one's vanity?
*huggs*,
Melan
Quote from: Melan on February 15, 2009, 03:22:18 PM
Does anyone think that having people "hit on you" is a vindication of "success" in transition? Or just a booster shot in the arm for one's vanity?
*huggs*,
Melan
I think the big question is the one that Jenny posed,
"The one thing that used to worry me a lot and still does to some extent is whether I'm being hit on because they assume I'm a natal woman or deliberately because they know I'm trans. I suppose it shouldn't really matter but somehow, whereas the former is a sort of affirmation of my femininity, the latter rather negates it."
If its the latter I would be most offended.
I was flattered but then began to think the same as Jenny.
Stardust
Quote from: Melan on February 15, 2009, 03:22:18 PM
I would so enjoy having men (or women, *winks*) hit on me lol, it would be a vindication that at least I'm somewhat attractive to someone lol. I'm not sure if it's my height, or what, but I scare people methinks ;) And frankly, I'm not a bad looker, ok, not a model but, certainly would look great on a (tall) guy's arm. The ex-bf and I looked rather cute together (while it lasted).
Does anyone think that having people "hit on you" is a vindication of "success" in transition? Or just a booster shot in the arm for one's vanity?
*huggs*,
Melan
Melan...
First off Melan you're gorgeous, where the hell do those legs end ha ha. I do have to agree with you that being hit on is the ultimate confirmation that you are being seen as a woman/man (as the case may be). Personally i find quite improbable that a man (in my case) would hit on me because he thought i was trans. My experience is that they don't, and it would seem that i've had a lot of experience :)
Steph
Quote from: stardust on February 12, 2009, 10:50:41 AM
... the thought of going with a stranger that's just asked me for a coffee is just not me (I'm not that kind of girl), ...
As "one of those girls" that wouldn't have a problem going for coffee with a guy I meet in some random store, I'm rather offended by this. What is
that kind of girl exactly?
If a nice guy struck up conversation, and we seemed to build a rapid rapport so we went for coffee... is my chastity really called into question?
... or am I reading that comment wrong?
On the occasions when I've done this, it tends to be a girl I met at my favorite bookstore (City Lights) down in the basement where they hide all the good stuff. I can tell (as can they) by the books they are browsing that we might have something in common. And people who read books most likely have other bad habit too. So its a starting point. And the coffee shop is just up the block, and people have been taking strangers, soon to be friends there from City Lights since 1957. So its not like its a new and shocking modern deal.
I guess it depends on who's asking but were I to get asked to go for a coffee I wouldn't have a problem with it. The only thing we're sharing is a conversation over a pair of tasty beverages. No broken chastity promise there.
I'm not sure why guys hit on me from time to time. I don't really see the attraction. That is, I don't think I'm all that attractive. But I do like going to a good cafe or dinner or movie. :laugh:
Happens to me constantly. If it is minor flirting, I usually just smile and go with it, but if they start getting really serious I just tell them I'm not interested.
Congratulations, Stardust!
Now come on, in retrospect, doesn't it feel good to be hit on? The first time it happened to me I was scared spitless. But after I thought about it, I realized it was a compliment. I dunno if I would go out with them for coffee, but I might if they seemed really nice. I would always tell them I have to be back to work in a few minutes just in case something goes fishy.
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fganjataz.com%2F01smileys%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2FloopyBlonde-blinking.gif&hash=4545ddf8251cf9c32ae6074d56e48bc34a755857)Kristi
Quote from: lacitychick21 on February 15, 2009, 11:00:16 PM
As "one of those girls" that wouldn't have a problem going for coffee with a guy I meet in some random store, I'm rather offended by this. What is that kind of girl exactly?
If a nice guy struck up conversation, and we seemed to build a rapid rapport so we went for coffee... is my chastity really called into question?
... or am I reading that comment wrong?
I'd honestly be too afraid he'd notice something off. It's one thing to pass during a brief encounter and it's another to sit with someone face to face for an hour or two. I'd be freaking out oh my god. ;D
Quote from: SisterGirlfriend on February 16, 2009, 12:25:20 PM
I'd honestly be too afraid he'd notice something off. It's one thing to pass during a brief encounter and it's another to sit with someone face to face for an hour or two. I'd be freaking out oh my god. ;D
Strange I use to feel like that when I was pre op, but when I had my surgery and as time passed on and I settle into womanhood properly I felt my confidence increased in myself as a woman, I have a BF but guys still hit on me, tell me Im pretty and gorgeous bla bla bla bla its part of the territory, my Mother told me a long time ago I'd better get use to it, just part of being a girl, infact I now see it as a vote of confidence in me as a woman, guys are guys, ya never going to change them, once it doesn't get tooo serious and don't send out the wrong signals, I just enjoy being a woman.
p
Quote from: Kristi on February 16, 2009, 11:50:26 AM
Congratulations, Stardust!
Now come on, in retrospect, doesn't it feel good to be hit on? The first time it happened to me I was scared spitless. But after I thought about it, I realized it was a compliment. I dunno if I would go out with them for coffee, but I might if they seemed really nice. I would always tell them I have to be back to work in a few minutes just in case something goes fishy.
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fganjataz.com%2F01smileys%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2FloopyBlonde-blinking.gif&hash=4545ddf8251cf9c32ae6074d56e48bc34a755857)Kristi
Doesn't it feel good to be hit on? Hmn.. by a guy? For me, not really. Guys hitting on women is standard issue. Now getting a lesbian to hit on you... there is the real challenge. Men are generally not known to be as picky about the people they try to pic up, especially in bar/club situations. Lesbians on the other hand....
Quote from: Ashley315 on February 16, 2009, 02:11:52 PM
Doesn't it feel good to be hit on? Hmn.. by a guy? For me, not really. Guys hitting on women is standard issue. Now getting a lesbian to hit on you... there is the real challenge. Men are generally not known to be as picky about the people they try to pic up, especially in bar/club situations. Lesbians on the other hand....
So what you are saying is that when guys hit on me in a bar or club they aren't being too picky, any piece of meat will do as long as it moves and tells them that they are great!!! Sorry, to me it's too easy for a MtF to hit on women as it's what they know what to do. Ya I know... probably pi**ed off a few people. But i hate being included when folks generalize. :P
Steph
I do feel a bit odd when I get approached. But I do feel complimented also :laugh:
Quote from: steph on February 16, 2009, 03:44:19 PM
So what you are saying is that when guys hit on me in a bar or club they aren't being too picky, any piece of meat will do as long as it moves and tells them that they are great!!! Sorry, to me it's too easy for a MtF to hit on women as it's what they know what to do. Ya I know... probably pi**ed off a few people. But i hate being included when folks generalize. :P
Steph
I'm not saying to hit on, I'm talking about being hit on. Yeah it's easy to hit on either sex. You either score or you don't. My point was that men in bar/club situations are far less picky. Beer goggles is an actual factual thing. Not trying to be insulting and If being hit on by a guy in a bar gives you a boost, hey more power to you. It just does nothing for me. Having one hit on me in some other place where it isn't as common, and drinks have not been involved is a different situation.
Basically, what I'm saying is that If I'm gonna be read, I can guarantee it won't be by a straight guy. A lesbian is far more likely to read you.
Quote from: Ashley315 on February 16, 2009, 02:11:52 PM
Doesn't it feel good to be hit on? Hmn.. by a guy? For me, not really. Guys hitting on women is standard issue. Now getting a lesbian to hit on you... there is the real challenge. Men are generally not known to be as picky about the people they try to pic up, especially in bar/club situations. Lesbians on the other hand....
Last year, in this bar in P'town, I was approach by a rather attractive woman who, after some small talk, announced that as a lesbian she neither fancied nor had ever been with a man, however, she really fancied me (she knew I was pre op) and would like to take me back to her place to "teach me how to make love like a woman". Though admittedly an intriguing offer, I politely turned it down given she had her girlfriend in tow and I could see it all turning out a trifle .... errrr ..... 'complex'. Anyway, I'm really not the kind of girl that accepts offers from strange women in bars <sigh> ;)
Quote from: Jenny Jackson on February 17, 2009, 02:55:15 AM
Last year, in this bar in P'town, I was approach by a rather attractive woman who, after some small talk, announced that as a lesbian she neither fancied nor had ever been with a man, however, she really fancied me (she knew I was pre op) and would like to take me back to her place to "teach me how to make love like a woman". Though admittedly an intriguing offer, I politely turned it down given she had her girlfriend in tow and I could see it all turning out a trifle .... errrr ..... 'complex'. Anyway, I'm really not the kind of girl that accepts offers from strange women in bars <sigh> ;)
I am the same way. I view sex and relationships different. I don't think I could ever have a one night stand/casual sex relationship with someone. Sex is just to intimate for me.
My situation is rather unique however. My wife and I have been together since we were kids. I'm sure that plays a large part in how I view sex and relationships.
Quote from: Ashley315 on February 16, 2009, 11:57:28 PM
I'm not saying to hit on, I'm talking about being hit on. Yeah it's easy to hit on either sex. You either score or you don't. My point was that men in bar/club situations are far less picky. Beer goggles is an actual factual thing. Not trying to be insulting and If being hit on by a guy in a bar gives you a boost, hey more power to you. It just does nothing for me. Having one hit on me in some other place where it isn't as common, and drinks have not been involved is a different situation.
Basically, what I'm saying is that If I'm gonna be read, I can guarantee it won't be by a straight guy. A lesbian is far more likely to read you.
Hmm I respectfully disagree with your generalization that guys in bars are somewhat less than adequate and that their judgement is clouded by booze so when they hit on me I shouldn't feel anything because they are less picky and that "I will do." I frequent many, many bars during a month and while there are some men who get drunk and their minds are clouded by booze, my personal experience is that far more men are not, especially those who ask me to dance and then offer a drink and generally act like gentlemen.
You obviously must frequent lower end booze halls, and you are in fact being insulting by implying that I get a boost by being hit on by drunks. But wait... You and your wife have been together since you were kids and you must truly have a unique relationship, as you put it, as unless you cheat on her regularly at bars what experience are you basing your assumptions.
S
Quote from: Kristi on February 16, 2009, 11:50:26 AM
Congratulations, Stardust!
I would always tell them I have to be back to work in a few minutes just in case something goes fishy.
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fganjataz.com%2F01smileys%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2FloopyBlonde-blinking.gif&hash=4545ddf8251cf9c32ae6074d56e48bc34a755857)Kristi
That's a really good tip kristi.
Stardust
Quote from: steph on February 17, 2009, 05:16:47 PM
Hmm I respectfully disagree with your generalization that guys in bars are somewhat less than adequate and that their judgement is clouded by booze so when they hit on me I shouldn't feel anything because they are less picky and that "I will do." I frequent many, many bars during a month and while there are some men who get drunk and their minds are clouded by booze, my personal experience is that far more men are not, especially those who ask me to dance and then offer a drink and generally act like gentlemen.
You obviously must frequent lower end booze halls, and you are in fact being insulting by implying that I get a boost by being hit on by drunks. But wait... You and your wife have been together since you were kids and you must truly have a unique relationship, as you put it, as unless you cheat on her regularly at bars what experience are you basing your assumptions.
S
ROFL... I would never cheat on my wife. I don't frequent bars anymore, but have been to enough of them in my past and been around enough guys in that situation to know for a fact most of them don't care what kinda "tail" they pick up as long as they are getting some. As far as "guys" are concerned, they tend to find me no matter where I go. Too bad for them I have no interest in them. It is kinda cute though at how hard many of them try, and a lot of fun to walk away arm in arm with my beautiful wife.
Steph you have some very good points about bars.
I have been approached by both guys and women. Since I am a straight woman I only welcome the guys. I will say this and you can pretty much take this to the bank. The first thing guys see is the hair, then the boobs, then the ass. If they like what they see they will most likely come over and talk if you are alone. The next big thing is your face and voice. Once you are past that examination you are almost home free. You have to act like the person you are portraying.
I do think that the booze is a determining factor sometimes. It clouds my mind as well, but never to the point where an ugly guy looks good. "Never" !!!If you are in the company of someone you are attracted to then the booze may play a big part in your actions.
The clubs I go into are always straight clubs and the guys are never slopping drunk. They for the most part are gentlemen. As long as they ask politely for a dance or offer a drink, I am ok with that. The lesbians that have hit on me are always supper sweet, and BTW are never drunk. I always set them straight as what my sexual orentation is, and they go away.
These days handsome guys are very picky.....And they will put you under a microscope before they will approach you. Like Steph said if you are going into the lower end bars and clubs then expect lower class folks. Personaly I do not go to places wher the guys or girls are slopping drunk. Just not a very good situation.
If I have offended anyone by what I have said I am sorry, but it is just my take on clubing and bar situations I have experianced.
Deb
Quote from: Jenny Jackson on February 17, 2009, 02:55:15 AM
Last year, in this bar in P'town, I was approach by a rather attractive woman who, after some small talk, announced that as a lesbian she neither fancied nor had ever been with a man, however, she really fancied me (she knew I was pre op) and would like to take me back to her place to "teach me how to make love like a woman". Though admittedly an intriguing offer, I politely turned it down given she had her girlfriend in tow and I could see it all turning out a trifle .... errrr ..... 'complex'. Anyway, I'm really not the kind of girl that accepts offers from strange women in bars <sigh> ;)
Hi Jenny, we met at SCC. I hope you are doing well. My issue with being identified as trans is that I have had plenty of offers from both sexes to go home for sex. However, I get the distinct sense (from conversation) that they see me as a curiosity rather than a human being so I decline but do express an interest in getting to know them. Despite promises to contact me later either via email or phone, it rarely happens. This makes me happy that I did not allow myself to be used in the first place.