Being approached by males

[Steph]

Doesn't it feel good to be hit on?  Hmn..  by a guy?  For me, not really.  Guys hitting on women is standard issue.  Now getting a lesbian to hit on you... there is the real challenge.  Men are generally not known to be as picky about the people they try to pic up, especially in bar/club situations.  Lesbians on the other hand....

So what you are saying is that when guys hit on me in a bar or club they aren't being too picky, any piece of meat will do as long as it moves and tells them that they are great!!! Sorry, to me it's too easy for a MtF to hit on women as it's what they know what to do.  Ya I know... probably pi**ed off a few people.  But i hate being included when folks generalize. 

Steph

[V M]

I do feel a bit odd when I get approached. But I do feel complimented also 

[Ashley315]

So what you are saying is that when guys hit on me in a bar or club they aren't being too picky, any piece of meat will do as long as it moves and tells them that they are great!!! Sorry, to me it's too easy for a MtF to hit on women as it's what they know what to do.  Ya I know... probably pi**ed off a few people.  But i hate being included when folks generalize. 

Steph

I'm not saying to hit on, I'm talking about being hit on.  Yeah it's easy to hit on either sex.  You either score or you don't.  My point was that men in bar/club situations are far less picky.  Beer goggles is an actual factual thing.  Not trying to be insulting and If being hit on by a guy in a bar gives you a boost, hey more power to you.  It just does nothing for me.   Having one hit on me in some other place where it isn't as common, and drinks have not been involved is a different situation.

Basically, what I'm saying is that If I'm gonna be read, I can guarantee it won't be by a straight guy.  A lesbian is far more likely to read you.

[Jenny Jackson]

Doesn't it feel good to be hit on?  Hmn..  by a guy?  For me, not really.  Guys hitting on women is standard issue.  Now getting a lesbian to hit on you... there is the real challenge. Men are generally not known to be as picky about the people they try to pic up, especially in bar/club situations.  Lesbians on the other hand....

Last year, in this bar in P'town, I was approach by a rather attractive woman who, after some small talk, announced that as a lesbian she neither fancied nor had ever been with a man, however, she really fancied me (she knew I was pre op) and would like to take me back to her place to "teach me how to make love like a woman". Though admittedly an intriguing offer, I politely turned it down given she had her girlfriend in tow and I could see it all turning out a trifle .... errrr ..... 'complex'. Anyway, I'm really not the kind of girl that accepts offers from strange women in bars <sigh>

[Ashley315]

Last year, in this bar in P'town, I was approach by a rather attractive woman who, after some small talk, announced that as a lesbian she neither fancied nor had ever been with a man, however, she really fancied me (she knew I was pre op) and would like to take me back to her place to "teach me how to make love like a woman". Though admittedly an intriguing offer, I politely turned it down given she had her girlfriend in tow and I could see it all turning out a trifle .... errrr ..... 'complex'. Anyway, I'm really not the kind of girl that accepts offers from strange women in bars <sigh>

I am the same way.  I view sex and relationships different.  I don't think I could ever have a one night stand/casual sex relationship with someone.  Sex is just to intimate for me. 

My situation is rather unique however.  My wife and I have been together since we were kids. I'm sure that plays a large part in how I view sex and relationships.

[Steph]

I'm not saying to hit on, I'm talking about being hit on.  Yeah it's easy to hit on either sex.  You either score or you don't.  My point was that men in bar/club situations are far less picky.  Beer goggles is an actual factual thing.  Not trying to be insulting and If being hit on by a guy in a bar gives you a boost, hey more power to you.  It just does nothing for me.   Having one hit on me in some other place where it isn't as common, and drinks have not been involved is a different situation.

Basically, what I'm saying is that If I'm gonna be read, I can guarantee it won't be by a straight guy.  A lesbian is far more likely to read you.

Hmm I respectfully disagree with your generalization that guys in bars are somewhat less than adequate and that their judgement is clouded by booze so when they hit on me I shouldn't feel anything because they are less picky and that "I will do."  I frequent many, many bars during a month and while there are some men who get drunk and their minds are clouded by booze, my personal experience is that far more men are not, especially those who ask me to dance and then offer a drink and generally act like gentlemen.

You obviously must frequent lower end booze halls, and you are in fact being insulting by implying that I get a boost by being hit on by drunks.  But wait... You and your wife have been together since you were kids and you must truly have a unique relationship, as you put it, as unless you cheat on her regularly at bars what experience are you basing your assumptions.

S

[Nigella]

Congratulations, Stardust!

  I would always tell them I have to be back to work in a few minutes just in case something goes fishy.

Kristi

That's a really good tip kristi.

Stardust

[Ashley315]

Hmm I respectfully disagree with your generalization that guys in bars are somewhat less than adequate and that their judgement is clouded by booze so when they hit on me I shouldn't feel anything because they are less picky and that "I will do."  I frequent many, many bars during a month and while there are some men who get drunk and their minds are clouded by booze, my personal experience is that far more men are not, especially those who ask me to dance and then offer a drink and generally act like gentlemen.

You obviously must frequent lower end booze halls, and you are in fact being insulting by implying that I get a boost by being hit on by drunks.  But wait... You and your wife have been together since you were kids and you must truly have a unique relationship, as you put it, as unless you cheat on her regularly at bars what experience are you basing your assumptions.

S

ROFL... I would never cheat on my wife.  I don't frequent bars anymore, but have been to enough of them in my past and been around enough guys in that situation to know for a fact most of them don't care what kinda "tail" they pick up as long as they are getting some. As far as "guys" are concerned, they tend to find me no matter where I go.  Too bad for them I have no interest in them.  It is kinda cute though at how hard many of them try, and a  lot of fun to walk away arm in arm with my beautiful wife.

[debisl]

Steph you have some very good points about bars.

I have been approached by both guys and women. Since I am a straight woman I only welcome the guys. I will say this and you can pretty much take this to the bank. The first thing guys see is the hair, then the boobs, then the ass. If they like what they see they will most likely come over and talk if you are alone. The next big thing is your face and voice. Once you are past that examination you are almost home free. You have to act like the person you are portraying.

I do think that the booze is a determining factor sometimes. It clouds my mind as well, but never to the point where an ugly guy looks good. "Never" !!!If you are in the company of someone you are attracted to then the booze may play a big part in your actions.

The clubs I go into are always straight clubs and the guys are never slopping drunk. They for the most part are gentlemen. As long as they ask politely for a dance or offer a drink, I am ok with that. The lesbians that have hit on me are always supper sweet, and BTW are never drunk. I always set them straight as what my sexual orentation is, and they go away.

These days handsome guys are very picky.....And they will put you under a microscope before they will approach you. Like Steph said if you are going into the lower end bars and clubs then expect lower class folks. Personaly I do not go to places wher the guys or girls are slopping drunk. Just not a very good situation.

If I have offended anyone by what I have said I am sorry, but it is just my take on clubing and bar situations I have experianced.

Deb

[feliciahawthorn]

Last year, in this bar in P'town, I was approach by a rather attractive woman who, after some small talk, announced that as a lesbian she neither fancied nor had ever been with a man, however, she really fancied me (she knew I was pre op) and would like to take me back to her place to "teach me how to make love like a woman". Though admittedly an intriguing offer, I politely turned it down given she had her girlfriend in tow and I could see it all turning out a trifle .... errrr ..... 'complex'. Anyway, I'm really not the kind of girl that accepts offers from strange women in bars <sigh>

Hi Jenny, we met at SCC. I hope you are doing well. My issue with being identified as trans is that I have had plenty of offers from both sexes to go home for sex. However, I get the distinct sense (from conversation) that they see me as a curiosity rather than a human being so I decline but do express an interest in getting to know them. Despite promises to contact me later either via email or phone, it rarely happens. This makes me happy that I did not allow myself to be used in the first place.