ahemmm....clears throat ???
I'm a little confused because I read online somewhere
can't remember where dammit that when an ftm is on testosterone therapy something in the anus changes which makes the sensations more pleasurable akin to a prostate gland.
I don't know I am almost sure I read somewhere that it was the prostate but I am trying to see how that can actually be that way in a person born biologically female.
Or is it the case that everyone has a prostate gland and in bio males it is just more enlarged and the same thing would happen to an ftm whho was receiving testosterone therapy?
i havnt noticed any differences... (pre vs. post T)*cough* >_>
Quote from: Josh on March 31, 2009, 05:26:15 AM
i havnt noticed any differences... (pre vs. post T)*cough* >_>
Lol.
Anyway. Uh, I'll let you know in a couple of weeks or so? --cough--
From wikipedia:
"Females do not have a prostate gland, although females do have tiny paraurethral Skene's glands connected to the distal third of the urethra in the prevaginal space that are homologous to the prostate."
Maybe T affects that Skene's gland? And what's with all the coughing :P.
The Enjoyability of Anal sex is not "solely" masculine or something that is "greater" for men than women. It differs amongst individuals and some individuals even claim to be able to reach orgasm via anal sex.
The thing about anal sex however is that it's grossly misrepresented in a lot of places.
If you know what you're doing, and have patience and care in mind, you can have enjoyable anal sex without pain, without discomfort, without "messes" and so on and so forth. It only hurts if you don't know what you're doing sort of thing.
QuoteIf you know what you're doing, and have patience and care in mind, you can have enjoyable anal sex without pain, without discomfort, without "messes" and so on and so forth. It only hurts if you don't know what you're doing sort of thing.
Yes, if it hurts then there's something wrong.
Aka, you shouldn't need "Anal-Eeze".
Precisely.
Somewhere on the internet there's an article called "The ten rules of anal sex" I think everyone should read that.
The article in question: http://www.sexuality.org/authors/morin/analrule.html (http://www.sexuality.org/authors/morin/analrule.html)
Nice. I will conduct further investigations. Cough.
Anal sex for a female body is just a different way of hitting her vagina.
The penis (or object) is hitting the vaginal wall from the other side. The prostate has no monopoly on pleasurable anal sex.
QuoteMaybe T affects that Skene's gland?
yes this would seem to make sense with what I read.
Cheers guys :)
Quote from: Miniar on March 31, 2009, 08:31:08 AM
The Enjoyability of Anal sex is not "solely" masculine or something that is "greater" for men than women.
Agreed. It's all about know-how and the individuals involved.
I'm just pre-T but I figured I'd share this, dunno if anyone relates since the one person I told looked at me like I was a freak. :P
For me I've always preferred anal penetration to vaginal. Strangely, where as many say that anal penetration hurts, I've never experienced this and the other way hurts every single time. -_-
Ok sorry for TMI. It's 4 in the morning and my politeness filters are off.
lol i experienced anal before vaginal and i never had any problems with it. i think it was the gay in me. lol i was a gay guy before i even knew i was a guy.
Quote from: Josh on April 01, 2009, 06:48:32 AM
lol i experienced anal before vaginal and i never had any problems with it.
me too. strangely enough.
I look into this. The female prostate: a vestigial, rudimentary, afunctional gland. Doesn't say much about orgasm. If it feels good for the individual, why not.
there's a female prostate? ???
Quote from: Genevieve Swann on April 01, 2009, 11:59:02 AM
I look into this. The female prostate: a vestigial, rudimentary, afunctional gland. Doesn't say much about orgasm. If it feels good for the individual, why not.
Quote from: Nero on April 01, 2009, 12:38:39 PM
there's a female prostate? ???
I entered (female prostate) in google and the first hit had the following excerpt.
*I formatted the word
often.
Subject: Re: Female Squirting science:
"According to some laboratory tests, the fluid coming out during a
female ejaculation would be a substance with some similarities to male
semen in its composition, produced by the paraurethral glands or
Skene's glands, often called "female prostate" for its similitude in
placement, structure and, given the discovery of female ejaculation,
function, with the male prostate, the responsible of the production of
semen." News to me. Female Squirting? Really now?
Learn something new everyday!
Myles
Quote from: Linda on April 01, 2009, 03:37:06 PM
News to me. Female Squirting? Really now?
it surprises me how few people actually know about this stuff.... Then again I have *ahem* personal experience.
Quote from: Osiris on April 01, 2009, 03:23:48 AM
I'm just pre-T but I figured I'd share this, dunno if anyone relates since the one person I told looked at me like I was a freak. :P
For me I've always preferred anal penetration to vaginal. Strangely, where as many say that anal penetration hurts, I've never experienced this and the other way hurts every single time. -_-
Me too. ...now I'm curious as to what the line might be in a topic like this...I will not attempt to cross it, I promise (tempting as it is >:-))
QuoteSubject: Re: Female Squirting science:
"According to some laboratory tests, the fluid coming out during a
female ejaculation would be a substance with some similarities to male
semen in its composition, produced by the paraurethral glands or
Skene's glands, often called "female prostate" for its similitude in
placement, structure and, given the discovery of female ejaculation,
function, with the male prostate, the responsible of the production of
semen."
wow that is really interesting, so there kind of is a female prostate then....the whole ejaculation thing would be well.....super cool as well
*draws a line between himself and the thread* Here it is. Now come and join me you know you want to. ;) 8) >:-)
Quote from: Osiris on April 01, 2009, 05:59:09 PM
*draws a line between himself and the thread* Here it is. Now come and join me you know you want to. ;) 8) >:-)
YAY!
I don't know about a "female prostate", but anal sex is awesome. It was just okay before I was on T, but on T... let's just say that every sensation is multiplied by about 10 on the pleasure scale, so it works quite well.
From what I've read/heard, anal sex is pleasurable for women/female-bodied persons because the average sized penis hits the place on the anal wall that is by the g-spot... which is usually really difficult to access during vaginal intercourse. There also seem to be more nerve endings in the anus than the vagina, so I'm sure that helps.
As per female ejaculation, I've only been able to do that while on T. It usually only works with a combination of g-spot and clitoral stimulation... this is what I've read, anyway. Most people tend to equate the g-spot with the prostate.
SD
This is a fun thread.
For those interested (and really I think everyone should be :)) here is an excellent book on the subject:
http://www.amazon.com/Ultimate-Guide-Anal-Sex-Women/dp/1573442216/ref=pd_sim_b_1/175-3003252-7029253 (http://www.amazon.com/Ultimate-Guide-Anal-Sex-Women/dp/1573442216/ref=pd_sim_b_1/175-3003252-7029253)
It's by a woman, for a woman (but also with info for men), so it leaves out a lot of the more common jaded perceptions people run into in this subject. I haven't read all of my copy yet, but it seems to be filled with... interesting and practical information.
There's also the classic video, bend over boyfriend. :P It can work for both men and women. Just good practical tips on relaxing and all that jazz.
Female ejaculation?
I can. I'm not on T. But I have to be really turned on.
It made me feel better knowing that I'm not the only guy that had pain only with "vaginal" stuff instead of anal haha maybe it's psychological like unconsciously going NO NO NO NOOOO! access denied! haha I dunno random thought :-\
yea, psychological access denied is a pain in the ass. literally. you have to be relaxed physically and mentally for everything to work.
lol well luckily I'm gay! so hopefully that little female area will never come up in a sexual situation lol
Yeh same... pain in the vagina, but anal seems to be good. though haven't had a partner yet to be sure. Mostly self play arhm.. and think have gotten the ejaculation as well. several times.
lol well i have no idea about the ejaculation thing as i have never paid attention though something like that seems like it'd be hard to miss and as for the butt loving lol i only ever tried with a partner once and there is a difference between fingers and a penis or dildo soooo i could be wrong on the pain issue lol then again i'm about 99.9% sure that i could handle those things better anally then vaginally lol
If your partner has patience, plenty of lubricant, and understands how the anus works, there will be no pain necessary.
I don't know how you guys can do it.
I just can't touch anything. It's all been tainted by this cursed female body. :embarrassed:
Is it just me?(Sorry to bring my negativity into this thread)
Quote from: northy on April 03, 2009, 11:17:37 PM
I don't know how you guys can do it.
I just can't touch anything. It's all been tainted by this cursed female body. :embarrassed:
Is it just me?(Sorry to bring my negativity into this thread)
A lot of it has to do with acceptance. If you can accept what you have and work with it, things are a lot easier. There's no reason to make yourself feel bad. Instead of thinking about what you don't have, think about all the great things that you do have. It's all about attitude.
We were born in the wrong bodies, BUT there's a lot more to a person than their body. And you're definitely not alone. I think just knowing others who are dealing with the same issues takes a big weight off. I recommend that you start a journal where you write down nice things about yourself every day. If you love yourself, other people will love you no matter what body you have.
never tried it... gomene.. :(
Quote from: IanToxic on April 01, 2009, 10:53:40 PM
It made me feel better knowing that I'm not the only guy that had pain only with "vaginal" stuff instead of anal haha maybe it's psychological like unconsciously going NO NO NO NOOOO! access denied! haha I dunno random thought :-\
There is a really fascinating article on scarleteen about this. Apparantly, there isn't actually any permanant vaginal stretching that happens the first time you have sex, and it doesn't have to hurt the first time. However, usually the girl is nervous, and the muscles in her vagina literally reject the object entering. However, usually couples ignore this pain, thinking it has to happen the first time, and just "push on through."
Awww maaaaan I have a pretty high pain tolerance but screeeeeeeew that! lol I don't see how anyone can "push on through" D:
Quote from: Mr. Fox on April 05, 2009, 03:27:06 PM
There is a really fascinating article on scarleteen about this. Apparantly, there isn't actually any permanant vaginal stretching that happens the first time you have sex, and it doesn't have to hurt the first time. However, usually the girl is nervous, and the muscles in her vagina literally reject the object entering. However, usually couples ignore this pain, thinking it has to happen the first time, and just "push on through."
Yeah, see I've pushed through the pain thinkin I'd get use to it. Never happened so every time I have to try and relax, but it still hurts. -_-
Quote from: Mr. Fox on April 05, 2009, 03:27:06 PM
There is a really fascinating article on scarleteen about this. Apparantly, there isn't actually any permanant vaginal stretching that happens the first time you have sex, and it doesn't have to hurt the first time. However, usually the girl is nervous, and the muscles in her vagina literally reject the object entering. However, usually couples ignore this pain, thinking it has to happen the first time, and just "push on through."
This seems to be true from my personal experiences, although there was quite a bit of pain the first time. Once I told my boyfriend to slow down and let me relax and I did some deep breathing, it went a lot better. The pain was greatly decreased and I stopped clenching. (Clenching pretty much prevented entry... the muscles down there are stronger than you think!) The second time around there had been pretty much no stretch left from the first time, but the breaking the hymen business was over, which was helpful and it would be annoying if I had blood everywhere every time I used my "bonus hole".
I like how the ANAL SEX thread is talking about vaginal sex now.
QuoteA lot of it has to do with acceptance. If you can accept what you have and work with it, things are a lot easier. There's no reason to make yourself feel bad. Instead of thinking about what you don't have, think about all the great things that you do have. It's all about attitude.
This is also how I've been working through a lot of my dysphoria. I wasn't able to do anything with myself for awhile. Then I reassociated my bits with different words closer to male anatomy and learned to work with what I have because ... well I'm a horny jerk even though I haven't started T. I only just recently was able to start using my "bonus hole" (sorry for the lewd term, but that's how I think of it). It took a lot of trust from the other person I'm with. I have a very concrete identity with him and I am quite sure it hasn't changed his perception of me.
I still don't feel comfortable with having that piece of female anatomy, but at this point, I feel like if I was cursed with it, I might as well take advantage of it because I don't have what I want. Also, I'm not always comfortable enough to do things of that nature and I still avoid it during sex when I just don't feel like using it. Just because I've opened up that opportunity doesn't mean that my boyfriend gets access to it all the time. Everyone has the right to take away something they've given sexually. If you try it, and you don't want to do it after that, just be open with your partner about it.
And don't get me wrong, sometimes I still have sickening dysphoria that leads me to be very depressed. I haven't escaped that magically, but I'm trying to enjoy life and my experiences with in it more.
Anyway, you can always PM me if you want to discuss the finer points of how I've gone through either the mental or physical processes in this post. I don't mind helping another confused person out.
I not really liking the idea of anal sex, don't want something in me at all to be honest.
I like giving, but recieving is a def no, no :)
But I haven't found any girls who are willing to take it. :(
But it is intresting to hear how the sensation has differed between pre and post T.
Jay
QuoteI not really liking the idea of anal sex, don't want something in me at all to be honest.
I like giving, but recieving is a def no, no :)
But I haven't found any girls who are willing to take it. :(
But it is intresting to hear how the sensation has differed between pre and post T.
Jay
Interesting that you'd mention that, Jay. As I was reading this thread, I was thinking that I would want to try this with my partner, who is also a trans male. ...And then I realized, after quite a while, that there were no penises involved. I don't know if I like the idea of sex toys, to be entirely honest. It's strange, because I almost expect myself to have male anatomy! Sigh :(
Accidental
Quote from: Jay on April 06, 2009, 03:00:20 AM
It's strange, because I almost expect myself to have male anatomy! Sigh. :(
I know that feeling
too well! :'(
My partner did once try it with my
lil' fella and enjoyed it but wouldn't let me do it that often. If you are going to try it I would recommend getting actual anal toys to ease your self into it (No pun intended) ;D
Just a general word of caution for anyone thinking of trying out some toys. They have to be specifically designed for anal use, IOW easily retrievable, i.e. with flanges or cords or whatever. Don't use vaginal toys or just any old object unless you fancy a potentially embarrassing trip to your local hospital.
Quote from: Nero on March 31, 2009, 12:43:14 PM
Anal sex for a female body is just a different way of hitting her vagina.
The penis (or object) is hitting the vaginal wall from the other side. The prostate has no monopoly on pleasurable anal sex.
consider this my request for not using this sort of language. Not all people who possess vaginas are women and not all women possess vaginas.
Quote from: Mister on April 09, 2009, 05:30:31 PM
consider this my request for not using this sort of language. Not all people who possess vaginas are women and not all women possess vaginas.
whoops. my bad. totally agree as i'm one of the non-woman vagina possessors.
Quote from: Vancha on April 06, 2009, 02:43:15 PM
I don't know if I like the idea of sex toys, to be entirely honest.
There is a cheap alternative: fingers. I know, I know... but they're pretty good for the task actually.
Quote from: minniemouse on April 06, 2009, 06:27:24 PM
Just a general word of caution for anyone thinking of trying out some toys. They have to be specifically designed for anal use, IOW easily retrievable, i.e. with flanges or cords or whatever. Don't use vaginal toys or just any old object unless you fancy a potentially embarrassing trip to your local hospital.
It's helpful when they are, but it's really not *absolutely* necessary. I don't know if you've done much actual experimenting back there, but from personal experience it's way harder to get something stuck up there than those warnings lead you to believe, and not nearly as difficult to get something unstuck (not that I've actually gotten anything stuck, but I have... evidence).
consider this my request for not using this sort of language
How did you become the vocabulary police?
Quote from: tekla on April 09, 2009, 10:03:20 PM
consider this my request for not using this sort of language
How did you become the vocabulary police?
I love you, Tekla. :-*
Quote from: tekla on April 09, 2009, 10:03:20 PM
consider this my request for not using this sort of language
How did you become the vocabulary police?
Since I've been male and possessed a vagina.
Quote from: Mister on April 09, 2009, 10:48:25 PM
Since I've been male and possessed a vagina.
There are a lot of men on here who possess vaginae who didn't get offended. There's no reason to take offense if none was intended.
Intent is such a sticky subject though. Mmm, sticky.
Quote from: Vesper on April 10, 2009, 12:45:30 AM
Mmm, sticky.
ew. sticky is right up there with moist.
...and considering that it was an ftm who wrote the offensive "her", it's safe to say that there was no offense intended.
Quote from: Jaimey on April 10, 2009, 12:50:21 AM
ew. sticky is right up there with moist.
...and considering that it was an ftm who wrote the offensive "her", it's safe to say that there was no offense intended.
Intolerant language shouldn't be tolerated, no matter who said it. Besides, Nero (who said it) realized his mistake once it was pointed out. If you weren't offended by it and didn't make the original comment, it doesn't seem to have much to do with you personally... so... why continue this conversation?
Quote from: Jaimey on April 10, 2009, 12:30:58 AM
There's no reason to take offense if none was intended.
I'd like to interject here and mention that, using this logic, anyone should be allowed to say things like "that's so gay" and "you're such a f*g" without repercussions or apology if "no offense was intended."
Many gay people don't get offended at the use of the word "gay" as a derogatory term, but that doesn't mean that those who
do get offended should be told to suck it up and get over it. Same with this. Mister has a right to get offended by something if that's how he feels.
[/random opinion] :)
Seriously? You all need to lighten up. Like I said, there was no offense meant, so why go to the trouble of taking offense? And while I wasn't offended by the original comment, making such a huge fuss over a slip up is ridiculous. You could have just sent Nero a message asking him to change the wording. Instead, you made this big thing about "request for not using such language". That's what bothers me about this whole thing. Someone asks a serious question about anal sex and now we're having this big discussion on whether something is offensive or not. Why start something that doesn't have anything to do with the original conversation? Especially bringing up something that was a few pages back?
I just read this thread tonight, so I was offended by the wording tonight. I chose to address Nero in the manner that I did, he responded to it without a problem. I cease to see why you are perpetuating an argument over what you feel is nothing. Please stop, because you're the one derailing the thread over a one line post.
All I said was that there's no reason to take offense when none was intended. I'm done arguing though. If you want to be offended by every little thing, fine, but you're not dragging me down with you.
Quote from: Jaimey on April 10, 2009, 01:13:50 AM
Um, you responded to Tekla, so you are as guilty as I am. I'm done though. I'm not arguing with you people anymore. If you want to be offended by every little thing, fine, but you're not dragging me down with you.
that was at least something that was asked of me, quite unlike your protest to my request for Nero to use non-transphobic language.
Okay, guys. Enough now, please.
Back to.. anal sex. :police: :D
Definitely the best police post by a moderator I've seen in a while...
Quote from: Vesper on April 10, 2009, 02:19:36 AM
Definitely the best police post by a moderator I've seen in a while...
for sure. kudos, tam.
I'm just curious...
Does anyone on here think about abstaining from sex until they're on hormones or had a certain amount of surgery?
I don't think I could ever be that intimate with my body until I feel more like my body is male and not all feminine and estrogeny - as in, being on T for a few months, having chest surgery and full hysto. Also the way the uterus and ovaries behave during arousal.. The thought is sickening to me, it makes me fight it. :eusa_wall: I guess I think about it too much. But it's so nasty. :(
i think it just depends on the person. i dont think anyone would criticize you for your abstention. it sounds reasonable to me
eww that makes me glad that i know about as much about "female" anatomy as the average dude *shudders* ugh anyways when it comes to abstaining from sex that doesn't seem bad lol i do that when it comes to other dudes i can handle sex and wanking every now and then but its not very often lol but i'm hoping it'll get better once everything doesn't um suck lol
Quote from: northy on April 10, 2009, 11:33:19 AM
I'm just curious...
Does anyone on here think about abstaining from sex until they're on hormones or had a certain amount of surgery?
I don't think I could ever be that intimate with my body until I feel more like my body is male and not all feminine and estrogeny - as in, being on T for a few months, having chest surgery and full hysto. Also the way the uterus and ovaries behave during arousal.. The thought is sickening to me, it makes me fight it. :eusa_wall: I guess I think about it too much. But it's so nasty. :(
I'm not sure how many people on this forum chose to abstain, but I know a few dudes IRL who did. Funny thing, though- none of them stuck to it once they met someone who was totally accepting of their male identities. Sometimes other people can help you gain confidence in your body... just sayin'.
Quote from: northy on April 10, 2009, 11:33:19 AM
I'm just curious...
Does anyone on here think about abstaining from sex until they're on hormones or had a certain amount of surgery?
I don't think I could ever be that intimate with my body until I feel more like my body is male and not all feminine and estrogeny - as in, being on T for a few months, having chest surgery and full hysto. Also the way the uterus and ovaries behave during arousal.. The thought is sickening to me, it makes me fight it. :eusa_wall: I guess I think about it too much. But it's so nasty. :(
Nothing wrong with abstinence. BTW, I actually love what the uterus gets up to during arousal. To each his own. :laugh:
Quote from: northy on April 10, 2009, 11:33:19 AM
I'm just curious...
Does anyone on here think about abstaining from sex until they're on hormones or had a certain amount of surgery?
I'm going the other way, but there are a few of us who have/do abstain. There are even a few who are married who have very little sex.
I used to have anal sex by myself but not with my partner. I gave up anal for several years when I went back into the closet. Threw away my dildo and everything. I fantasized about it, but I didn't actually do it.
After I came back out of the closet last year, the urge became unbearable. I bought some new toys and started up again. But I couldn't do it with my partner. We only have front-door sex.
After I started T, my desire for anal shot through the roof. I basically wanted more of any kind of sex, but especially that kind. I'm still dealing with my libido. I'm also still dealing with shame and guilt. For years, I saw my anal desires as a dirty little secret and evidence of my perversion.
BUT...I love it more than ever now, much more than the other kind of penetration. I'm not sure if the T has had anything to do with that, but I'm more accepting and less judgmental about my sexual orientation and my preferences. I'm sure that has something to do with the heightened pleasure.
It's weird. Now I have more hang-ups about "straight" sex than I do about "gay" sex. My thinking has shifted. I think of my front hole as a girl hole. I haven't quite come to terms with it yet. And now I keep telling myself that if I have sex there, it makes me a girl. And I argue with myself.
Such twisted thinking.
Sometimes I want to give up "straight" sex. But I still like that kind of sex. I like how it feels with the organs that I have, too. For this reason, I might never have a hysto.
Anyway, that's been my experience.
Mister's back! Okay, that's all.
I have been a romance fan since I was around 10 years old and started reading V.C. Andrews novels. At around age 13, I discovered fandoms on the internet through the various anime shows I liked at the time. When I started to become a huge CSI fan around the same age, I wondered if that show too, had a fandom like the anime stuff and that was when I found 'Under the Bridge' that later was known as 'Your Tax Dollars At Work'. Its one of the largest CSI message boards on the net and I'm member 192 out of more than 20'000 I think now. Neway, there was one particular epic smut fanfiction called Movie on a Night Out aka MoaNo :D it was through this that I came across anal sex between a heterosexual couple (and where the female initiated it) and I was all like "whoa, this is way better." lol
So basically, once I knew that women could and did enjoy anal, I basically knew that was what I preferred too. Vaginal penetration had never really interested me, and in sex scenes I usually lost interest after they stopped writing about the foreplay lol. So yes, even before I realised my ->-bleeped-<--ness and such, I knew I really only ever wanted to have sex anally... however at the time, I thought I'd eventually grow up and like it the 'normal' way.
Hmm, still a resounding No.
Not too into anal myself. I kinda feel lucky to have a vagina. I'll try anything once, but anal doesn't really get me off. Vaginal sex is just...nice. Sex is simpler, too. Gay bio-guys have to navigate the whole oral-anal-etc. thing, but for me sex with guys is relatively uncomplicated. Through my *cough* extensive research, I've discovered that I'm comfortable with being a guy with a vagina. My gay partners haven't really had a problem with it...
Quote from: Arch on April 10, 2009, 03:33:22 PM
It's weird. Now I have more hang-ups about "straight" sex than I do about "gay" sex. My thinking has shifted. I think of my front hole as a girl hole. I haven't quite come to terms with it yet. And now I keep telling myself that if I have sex there, it makes me a girl. And I argue with myself.
Would you still consider it a girlhole if you did it doggy-style? That way the positioning would make you a male, but get you the female pleasure. That's the way I look at it at least. I don't know if I'd ever get comfortable with missionary.
Arch, I know exactly what you're saying about the libido, shame, etc. bit... I deal with the exact same thing constantly. My sex drive has increased quite a bit on T, of course, and I'm now interested in ANYTHING sex-wise... plenty of things to explore, I suppose. For some reason, though, I've always felt like anal sex was wrong. I've done it, I masturbate that way occasionally, but I always feel disgusting afterward. If you find a way to get past that, man, please let me know.
SD
Quote from: Asher on April 15, 2009, 10:14:59 PM
Would you still consider it a girlhole if you did it doggy-style? That way the positioning would make you a male, but get you the female pleasure. That's the way I look at it at least. I don't know if I'd ever get comfortable with missionary.
I hadn't thought of this, Asher, but I have to admit that it doesn't seem to matter what position I use. And, you know, you can have anal sex face-to-face anyway. I fantasize that I'm doing that with someone special who shall be nameless.
I think I just need to get farther along in my transition and get more comfortable with myself, my gender identity, and my anatomy. And I need to talk about my hang-ups with my therapist. Obviously, all of this will take some time. I don't think there is a quick fix.
Post Merge: April 16, 2009, 01:39:34 AM
Quote from: Sebastien on April 16, 2009, 12:24:36 AM
Arch, I know exactly what you're saying about the libido, shame, etc. bit... I deal with the exact same thing constantly. My sex drive has increased quite a bit on T, of course, and I'm now interested in ANYTHING sex-wise... plenty of things to explore, I suppose. For some reason, though, I've always felt like anal sex was wrong. I've done it, I masturbate that way occasionally, but I always feel disgusting afterward. If you find a way to get past that, man, please let me know.
Sebastien, one thing my therapist told me might help. I haven't had much chance to test it out yet, though. He said that the more time I spend around other people like me--by which he meant gay men, but particularly gay men who, unlike me, are comfortable with their sexuality--the more I will feel that my own proclivities are okay.
The other thing that is helpful to me is that my therapist is gay. I've never actually asked him whether he likes anal sex (I'm not sure I could), but I do know that he is comfortable with his sexual orientation. I guess that won't help you unless you're in therapy AND your therapist is a happy anal perv (haha), but I thought I would throw that out there.
I guess a lot of people aren't too comfortable talking about sex with their therapists. I'm usually okay talking about the sex that I have with my partner, but I start having trouble when I try to talk about my hang-ups. I completely trust my therapist, but I'm still uncomfortable talking about some topics because I tend to pass judgment on myself. He never does that--one reason I'm able to talk to him about very personal things is that he is so open and nonjudgmental.
Oh, and another thing. He said that while I'm having the sex, I shouldn't focus on my emotions or my reactions; I should focus on the pleasurable sensations. When my mind wanders into judgmental territory, I yank it back and focus on the physical. I've been doing this for several months, and it seems to be working.
I'm getting better about anal, although I still have a ways to go. But the front hole...I was okay with it last year. Only when I started transition did it become a problem.
I can't even say the proper anatomical word. Sigh.
Quote from: Kayden on March 31, 2009, 05:29:39 AM
Lol.
Anyway. Uh, I'll let you know in a couple of weeks or so? --cough--
So a month on T now and I thought I go back to the original point of this post.
Pretty much everything seems to feel better on T. Anything to do with foreplay and/or sex. Even farting is more satisfying (as amusing or gross as you may find that). Uh, and to be clear, farting has nothing to do with sex, just thought I'd note that difference.
Anywho. Yep. That's the short of it.
lols XD
WOW. :laugh:
Oh goody! Kayden's revived the anal sex thread! ;D I missed it the first time around. :(
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.marriedtothesea.com%2F071606%2Floosen-your-anus.gif&hash=7f222b60cc193df7136b65506a1ece52b8fc0c9d)
wow. O_O
I was going to say something, but it was too obvious even for me.
Quote from: tekla on June 17, 2009, 08:46:20 PM
I was going to say something, but it was too obvious even for me.
Oh, c'mon, Tekla. Be grateful for the easy ones and just go with it!
i found a site of old tymey memes. couldn't resist. ;D
That's one way to commit thread necromancy! :laugh:
And I say that in a good way :).
I found a pint of prune juice to be sufficiently loosening.
Quote from: finewine on June 18, 2009, 03:15:12 AM
I found a pint of prune juice to be sufficiently loosening.
As is a good case of dysentery.
Quote from: Jaimey on June 18, 2009, 08:56:23 PM
As is a good case of dysentery.
:icon_blah:
I'd rather a good chicken vindaloo and beer.
Oh that burning ring of fire! The ring of fire!
This topic reminds me of something a gay male friend of mine once said...
"The best thing about being gay is that you can widen the circle of your friends!"
lol!
Quote from: finewine on June 19, 2009, 03:07:57 AM
This topic reminds me of something a gay male friend of mine once said...
"The best thing about being gay is that you can widen the circle of your friends!"
Oh, ouch. But it HURTS SO GOOD!
NICE. >:-)
Bump!
Mmkay. Bit of a problem here.
Friday I had a pretty hard pounding. Sunday, I had developing pains in the sphincter area. Today(monday) it's almost unbearable. I've been smoking the best grass money can buy in this state and still no relief. I went to the hospital. After enduring 2 hours of trans discrimination and procrastination with others going before me etc etc I left, went and got some preperation H and it's helped significantly, but anything else I could work with would be appreciated.
I've always been pretty flexible down there and nothing like this has ever happened... so any advice would help.
You may have an anal fissure or a small tear in the tissue of the anal sphincter (there's actually two in close proximity - it's the inner one that's involuntary and needs to be relaxed for anal sex to be comfortable). You should rest and recover, or you risk further damage.
Long term damage, especially from "hard poundings", is not something you want - there's the risk of chronic haemorrhoids, rectal prolapse and if you rip/puncture the rectal wall, you're going to be in a very bad place.
Never use "anal-eez" or any numbing ointment - the pain is there to tell you damage is being done and you need to change technique.
People think I always have something to say on any and everything. But I must admit, anal sex advice from Nichole leaves me at a loss for words.
I'm just waiting for the instructional video! hehehe...
That type of link would be so against the TOS.
Laura Hope could post it on her new porno web site.
Can I author the accompanying scratch'n'sniff pop up tutorial book?
Question: Can Annwyn apply for "workmens comp?"
I stand, actually sit, corrected. ;D
Six pages of this thread. . . yeah, it's official. You're all dirty-minded bastards.
SilverFang
Quote from: finewine on July 28, 2009, 01:45:08 AM
Can I author the accompanying scratch'n'sniff pop up tutorial book?
D'you know, I actually do have a pop-up Kama Sutra. Not scratch'n'sniff, though. Thankfully. ;D
Quote from: SilverFang on July 28, 2009, 03:02:54 AM
Six pages of this thread. . . yeah, it's official. You're all dirty-minded bastards.
SilverFang
Was that ever really in doubt? You think this is bad, you should check out the BJ thread. ;) I think it was up to 10 pages last time I looked.
Quote from: SilverFang on July 28, 2009, 03:02:54 AM
Six pages of this thread. . . yeah, it's official. You're all dirty-minded bastards.
SilverFang
Perfect!
Who would ever want a partner who didn't have a dirty mind. :P
"No honey, lets just do it the same way we have for the last 50 years." :icon_help:
No one should use the term "scratch'n'sniff" in an anal thread.. ever..
Quote from: Miniar on July 28, 2009, 08:17:37 AM
No one should use the term "scratch'n'sniff" in an anal thread.. ever..
Agreed.
SilverFang
Pff! Call yourselves men? :)
I doubt it could be that serious, but I am relaxing and giving myself a solid week for recovery. I'm just drinking fruit juice and smoking the grass till I pass out and stay passed out as long as I can. I'll probably call myself in a prescription if it's not significantly better by tonight.
It's just the pain. It's not itching, it's just excruciating, especially after any bowel movement.
well yes but that's no excuse for being uncouth! (or putting unwashed cups back in the cupboard for that matter!)
why bother? you can't call in for any of the good stuff.
Quote from: Annwyn D'Fenwyr on July 28, 2009, 09:40:51 AM
I doubt it could be that serious, but I am relaxing and giving myself a solid week for recovery. I'm just drinking fruit juice and smoking the grass till I pass out and stay passed out as long as I can. I'll probably call myself in a prescription if it's not significantly better by tonight.
It's just the pain. It's not itching, it's just excruciating, especially after any bowel movement.
that area is not designed to be "pounded."
it's actually very delicate, and unnecessary roughness can actually tear the colon. such an occurrence is very serious and needs to be checked out by a doc, ASAP.
also, the sphincter could possibly be damaged during such activity, and that also is very serious!
don't let yourself be pounded, and um, and if anyone tries to pound you, tell them to leave. that is abuse.
-ell