Seriously, I don't get it. Is it just because someone can't pass that they do this? Why not just say they don't want to show a picture?
It's one thing to photoshop to make your own photo look more flattering I guess, but to just pass off a random photo of a stranger as yourself?
What could somebody possibly get out of that? It can't get you a better job or date because then you're shown to be dishonest, so what's the point?
Why do people do this? Is it a passing issue?
I've no idea, I feel the same way.
I'll use pictures of people who have some similar features to mine, but I wont try to say that "that's me". I'll usually say something like "I wish I was that pretty" :laugh:
Because they're trying to gain admiration in the eyes of people they'll never meet offline?
Perhaps they place such an importance on looks, they do not believe their personality will count for squat in a place where looks don't matter.
Or maybe they're living out a fantasy of looking more like their "ideal", without actually having to put any effort in.
There's a lot of potential reasons, I suppose.
My avatar and I do not look alike... but in everything else we're very, very similar (only I'm real, he's not ;)). It's like someone reduced me to a handful of core elements and chucked me in a badly written, badly coded, dialoge heavy adventure game! Pity I only got a bit part :laugh:
Sometimes I will post my pic. But for the same privacy concerns that Matilda mentioned I don't post it very often or leave it up for very long. Also I wish I had a better pic. to post :laugh:
But that is me in my avatar! I swear it! Oh... wait, the wings are photoshoped but the rest is me I swear!
Depends on the forum.
I've been on dating sites where they post pics that are either NOT them, or are from a decade or so ago.
On some trans forums, there have been some guys who claim to pass 100% pre-T, and post a pic of a bio guy. Not sure why they feel the need to do that.
I agree with the others about posting pics on the net. I'm not ashamed to be out, but there are weirdos out there for sure.
Yes, that is me and my scraggly beard in my avatar.
Jay
My pic is me. But like two years ago, ha. I should update it, but I'm too lazy.
As for the topic, I imagine people do it to live out a fantasy with people they'll never meet offline. Which sucks if you make a real connection with someone, and then you have to be like "oh yeah, that's not me". It's not a productive thing to do emotionally in my opinion.
If you put your pic out there and someone loves it, you'll be much happier than if someone loves a pic that isn't you.
But it just depends what you're looking for.
Until I started coming out recently I would use famous celebrities as my avatar such as Stevie Nicks. It was partly because I was afraid of being identified and partly because it was wishful thinking of what I thought was the ideal "look" for a woman...
Once I have started coming out I felt that I wanted to use a real picture of myself. While I want to choose who I come out to I no longer worry if someone finds out on their own. BTW, this is a current picture my friend took of me about 2 months ago.
Why anyone would use a total stranger? That I dont understand...
I am not stealth nor do I plan on it for now. So it is all me.
Janet
You've asked a very good question, Nero. But, since the people people replying to it so far either use recognizable pics that are obviously not themselves, graphic avatars or photos of ourselves I think it will be difficult to get an answer that's meaningful.
We would just be speculating about their reasons. Although I have to agree that I cannot see the point when it's reasonably easy to post an obvious avatar why anyone would post one of someone else instead and say it is themselves.
Perhaps someone who does that will be able to enlighten us all as to their reasoning.
Quote from: Cami on July 18, 2009, 04:42:32 PM
But that is me in my avatar! I swear it! Oh... wait, the wings are photoshoped but the rest is me I swear!
Yes! Same with me. Except for the face, hair, and clothing, that's me.
It's nothing but insecurity. I can't stand when people do it. Makes me wish I could punch via TCP/IP.
Hi Nero,
I am not particularly sure of the context that you are referring to, but I think that people use other peoples picture because either they feel insecure as to how they look themselves or they are concerned about privacy/safety or all of the above. For me, my avatar is the real me and inspite of it not being a particularly flattering picture of me I show it anyway. As far as someone seeing my picture here (or elsewhere) that should not... I don't really care. At work, they all think I am gay anyway.
Brenda
Thanks for the replies everyone. Yeah, I'm not talking about just using an avatar of a celebrity or something, but actually showing a picture and saying it's you. I just don't get it. Guess it is fantasy like some of you said.
And that's me in my avatar by the way. Ain't I sexy? :laugh:
Quote from: Mister on July 18, 2009, 09:22:05 PM
Makes me wish I could punch via TCP/IP.
That's the real reason we're all moving to IPv6, isn't it? :laugh:
ain't i sexy, nero? this is me, take it or leave it! hahaha ;)
Yup, and I'm a sexy cartoon sitting in a grave yard. No really, I am!!! :laugh:
Not even Lindsay Lohan looks that hot.
Obvious I am not trying to come across as her though.
Well, I do know George Costanza used a picture of a model and said it's his fiance so other models would like him. I just wish I would have thought of that first.
But seriously, I've been using my real pic since long before I ever came out to anyone and no one ever "caught" me. But if it ever happened, I was prepared to ask them why they were on a TG forum. >:-) There's too much shame in our community.
Julie
Irokawa Lain*, the person in the avatar, struggled fiercely to save her identity, and succeeded, sort of. she lost nearly everything and everyone from her previous existence, and was able to go on, finally, but only as a much different type of person.
*from, Serial Experiments Lain
whoa whoa whoa. You're NOT a cartoon character?
*sigh* back to the drawing board.
Quote from: ell on July 18, 2009, 11:58:34 PM
she lost nearly everything and everyone from her previous existence, and was able to go on, finally, but only as a much different type of person.
Sounds like both of us.
What you see is me. If I'm recognised I'II have problems. But to me this is a very important part ot transitioning. I am Cindy, see her ROAR. Then quietly go back to a little box and cry.
Said in stealth, CIA pick up.
"It's OK Obamha no one picked you on your GLTG bill poster"
Cindy, BTW how are you going Nero? :-*
Anyone who is so insecure or for other reasons cannot or will not show their real person should post an avatar. I recently arranged to meet a sister CD after communicating and thought maybe we could go out and about and have fun. Turns out to be not even close to the profile photo. Couldn't have been an old photo. Simply not the same person. What upset me the most is the dishonesty. The person has zero ethics. Bernii mentioned for privacy purposes. If a person does not want to show their face in certain places then don't go there. Simple.
Post Merge: July 19, 2009, 05:11:56 AM
P.S. I'm certain my online admirers show their real pics. They aren't super attractive. Except Serge in Paris and he's a cutey. He's married darn it.
i've never understood this also. i mean your going to be found out anyways. as for me i have been full time for almost 1.5 years so i could care less i use my real pics... same one as myspace and facebook =-p and my real name which may not be entirely smart, but oh well. and no im not really a princess.
same one as myspace and facebook
couldnt agree more I do the same
Quote from: NeroI'm not talking about just using an avatar of a celebrity or something, but actually showing a picture and saying it's you.
Insecurity most likely.
Quote from: Genevieve Swann on July 19, 2009, 05:08:33 AM
Bernii mentioned for privacy purposes. If a person does not want to show their face in certain places then don't go there. Simple.
Huh? I don't post my piccies online either due to privacy reasons. I don't want to show my face on a TG site. Don't people have the right to safeguard their privacy online? Don't people have the choice to decide what to post and what not to post?
As for posting piccies online, first, assume that every single person in the world will be able to see the picture, then evaluate the risk and make your decision accordingly.
The more personal the information that you put online, the more risk you incur - only YOU (nobody else) can decide how much risk you want to expose yourself to.
If I may play the devil's advocate, How do we know the person behind the avatar is as advertised? Post a picture of someone or something other than yourself could be just a smoke screen. Many people do it for fun, many for evil purposes.
But I do understand the need for privacy and anonymity. Posting the picture of a famous person is obviously not the poster. Nero isn't Jackie Gleason and Matilda isn't Grace Kelly. They might resemble them, but they are not that person. Or maybe they feel connected to that person in someway.
It comes down to what you willing to let be known. And remember that once it is on the net it is there forever.
Case in point, my avatar use to be.......
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi397.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fpp59%2FJanet_Lynn_54%2Fmistress2-1.jpg&hash=a22bca291c7d5fab7309119495bf38f4db417683)
Obvious I am not Goth nor am I a dark character.
Quote from: Mister on July 18, 2009, 09:22:05 PM
It's nothing but insecurity. I can't stand when people do it. Makes me wish I could punch via TCP/IP.
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fgallery.jimmo.org%2Fmain.php%3Fg2_view%3Dcore.DownloadItem%26amp%3Bg2_itemId%3D3443%26amp%3Bg2_serialNumber%3D1&hash=6dad3808f3ecef1ed888977aec38f97d894718ca)
I do so love the word 'allure' - but are we talking avatars (which strictly speaking are NOT pictures of yourself, but a representation of you angel spiraling down from heaven (really, look it up in the original) so it should be something about you but not you.
As for posting pics of someone else and saying its you, the best reason is that so when the cops come looking for you they go to the other person's house and you get to make a clean get-a-way.
That's why I always use Mister's picture and Nero's picture. When you wake up and the SWAT team is outside, just think "Damn it tekla!"
I think that the best proof that the little photos to the left of our posts are actually us is meeting us in real life.
Second best is seeing somebody on video chat. That's not quite as easy to forge with today's technology.
How do we know for sure that the "TG girl" behind the computer screen (who is not "ashamed" of who she is & always posts her pictures online ::)) is not some old, fat, smelly, creepy psycho trying to lure people to do whatever, eh?
"Why don't you come in and have a seat over there?"
If people have learned nothing from Chris Hansen, they at least ought to know that the 'really hot 13 year old who really wants to have sex for the first time with some middle age loser" is, in fact, some male middle age loser (albeit one with a badge and bag full of doughnuts).
Or, as a very old cartoon I love that has two dogs typing on a keyboard says "on the internet, nobody's knows your a dog."
But given time and enough writing it's possible to glean some stuff, people reveal far more then they think they are when they write.
Hell, If I had nothing to lose, I would post my life away too.
Bit rich isnt it Matilda to believe you can go through life without no one knowing that you are trangendered. If you can hide your past life that well good luck to you but there are some that can never do that and the best way to educate people about what hell your life is going through is to post what is going on.
This works for me because i cant move where I can start new and Im not ashamed of who I am
Didnt say everyone should post a picture. Just saying some people live in a circumstance that they cant hide from there past, Dont question my womanhood, its hard enough for people to accept the change in me
Ok Matilda
Re read. Understand where you are coming from. I dont post on this site much and like to vent sometimes
Quote from: Matilda on July 18, 2009, 03:50:30 PM
I'm really, really, really hoping (although you never know around these parts ;D) that everyone will know that the woman in my avatar is Grace Kelly and not me. I don't post my own pictures online due to privacy concerns. The net is a dangerous place, and my life could be ruined if someone recognized my picture on a transgender website. Some of us don't want to be exposed. Simple as that.
Grace Kelly. The queen of monaco, exactly like the move swan or something. She was once my idol when I was teens. She looks classical.
Yes. Photo can cause a lot of fuss at your work place. Somebody else posted my own photo some place in the internet. And more than 200,000 people saw it, and finally I also saw it. I will not say in detail what happened at my work place. Just saying I am now fine. I prefer sites in English, as few Koreans will visit there.
Barbie~~
Quote from: Renate on July 19, 2009, 09:51:40 AM
I think that the best proof that the little photos to the left of our posts are actually us is meeting us in real life.
I would love to have coffee with you Renate.
I am not saying it is a requirement to anything. We post what we wish to post, period.
But this thread does remind me of,,,,
Brad Paisley - Online (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7GcVnhNjWV0#noexternalembed-lq-lq2-hq)
And I agree about Grace. I have always loved her.
Janet
Quote from: Becca on July 19, 2009, 12:35:04 PM
I would love to have coffee with you Renate.
Gosh! I'd love to.
Unfortunately with the distance we can only have a virtual coffee.
I've got my instant coffee here and my web cam. :laugh:
My picture is all me, no one else would want it :P
Quote from: SarahFaceDoom on July 19, 2009, 12:32:40 AM
whoa whoa whoa. You're NOT a cartoon character?
*sigh* back to the drawing board.
hi SarahFaceDoom. Lain is not a cartoon character, she is an anime character.
though much anime is absurd, some of it runs very deeply into cyberpunk, which i just love.
-ell
Issues like this are part of why I finally did a youtube vid and posted it in my blog on here. I'm not ashamed of who I am... if someone who knows me, but doesn't know I'm trans, happens upon my picture on this site or any other which indicated I'm trans, so be it.
However, this topic makes me think of a particular transwoman I know, or knew, who did post someone's else's pic and claim it was her own. After a time of showing her real picture, she began telling folks she'd had breast augmentation and FFS, and used a picture of a friend of hers, a model. She told everyone that she'd had incredible success through surgery, and was now doing modeling and acting jobs. A year or so after this began, she arranged to meet me and my wife for drinks. Nearly needless to say, she'd had no surgery, and was quite obviously NOT the woman from the pictures.
Of course, she gave no explanation for this, nor even brought it up. However, the harm is apparent, when I see an old picture of the woman she claimed to be, followed by comments from other transwomen as to how jealous they were, how they felt inferior because she'd had such tremendous results, and they hadn't. Obviously, I have no problem with those folks who either don't post their pictures on this or other sites, or who post celebrities' pictures... as long as they're not purporting those pictures to be their own.
SD
Not even Lindsay Lohan looks that hot.
As the current show biz joke goes, Lindsay Lohan looks smoking hot for a 40 year old woman, too bad she's 25.
Quote from: Sebastien on July 19, 2009, 03:13:59 PM
Of course, she gave no explanation for this, nor even brought it up. However, the harm is apparent, when I see an old picture of the woman she claimed to be, followed by comments from other transwomen as to how jealous they were, how they felt inferior because she'd had such tremendous results, and they hadn't. Obviously, I have no problem with those folks who either don't post their pictures on this or other sites, or who post celebrities' pictures... as long as they're not purporting those pictures to be their own.
Several years ago, posting my own photos in some TG sites in my country provoked a few of M2F transsexuals. They posted messages straightforwardly saying that they are just upset and can not endure the fact that my body line is more feminine them despite their long-time effort. I knew first from them that M2F TS are so much occupied in delicate lines of body in photo. Even some of them insisted that I am not transgender, but a kind of sexual pervert, as I do not plan to take HRT or SRS.
Finally, one of them posted my old family photo taken from my home page. I contacted Korean cyber police team, but did not get much help. I just closed my home page, and left TG sites in Korea to avoid further fusses.
Yes. Because I provoked them by my photos, they revenged by the same photos.
I like this site, as no TS showed any hostile feeling to me. I think transgenders in Korea are still developing their identities, concepts and careers to be accpeted in pulbic. Except a few famous TS entertainers, most of m2f transsexuals here are working in transgender bar at night. I am sympathetic to them, and do not want to provoke them by my own photos, although I am an extreme exhibitionismist.
Barbie~~
I see no problem with putting up your own pictures, even if you might be a little more "passable" than other transfolk. But putting up a pic of a bio guy or girl and saying it's you, to the detriment of those who see it, is pretty reprehensible, in my opinion.
I've been accused by a few people online of not putting my own pictures up, because I guess I had pretty quick results on T. It's just a matter of different people, different reactions to hormones, different bodies. I figure, as long as you're honest about it, no harm done.
SD
Yeah, but as I said about 'avatars' - oh why do I bother? - it's not supposed to be you. That is is fine, but I know what Grace Kelly looked like and never thought that was the person behind the posts, largely because Grace Kelly is dead and is not getting better in the near future.
this is all true. i never really gave it much thought, just posted my pic and went on with it. but then again my family and job already know so i have very little to worry about with the whole pic thing. i just wish i was as host as some of the others on this site. hum.. about time to add some new pics of me i guess?
Quote from: barbie on July 19, 2009, 11:28:31 AM
Grace Kelly. The queen of monaco, exactly like the move swan or something. She was once my idol when I was teens. She looks classical.
Yes. Photo can cause a lot of fuss at your work place. Somebody else posted my own photo some place in the internet. And more than 200,000 people saw it, and finally I also saw it. I will not say in detail what happened at my work place. Just saying I am now fine. I prefer sites in English, as few Koreans will visit there.
Barbie~~
I dont believe Grace Kelly was a queen. she was her Serene Highness The Princess of Monaco ;-p I love monaco though its a beautiful country.
Quote from: tekla on July 19, 2009, 08:12:34 PM
Yeah, but as I said about 'avatars' - oh why do I bother?
you bother to make an effort because, since you can't really overcome the shortcomings of others, you just, um, have to learn a little acceptance. we, as queers, do not want to face endless discrimination, but we know that it happens, but it
hurts more when it is in the form of condescension from one among us.
I don't think an allure exists to them. Some people simply don't think enough ahead to the point where they must explain to someone the picture isn't them. . .Or they plan to pull the "Why does it matter what I look like?" card after revealing it's not them. ::)
Quote from: tekla on July 19, 2009, 09:54:49 AM
But given time and enough writing it's possible to glean some stuff, people reveal far more then they think they are when they write.
Mmm hmm.
Well, there certainly is a lot of people who are afraid about something when it comes to posting their real picture as their avatar.
All I know from personal experience is every fear I had never came to fruition. I've had my photo posted to at least ten different forums over the last six or so years and there's never been one instance when it hurt me in any way. In fact, there's never been any time anyone said they saw my pic on a forum (before or after coming out), and I've posted a LOT of pictures.
And if you haven't seen them, you just proved my point.
And if you have seen those pics it's because you were on a TRANSGENDER SITE!!! :o
And we all know no one NORMAL goes there.
"We have nothing to fear but fear itself" or something like that... Anyone got a beer?
Julie
Just to set the record straight (well as much as possible when dealing with me):
I am not a rabbit. In particular a comic bunny.
That is all.
The old joke about going to gay bars was "What if I see someone I know, what will they think?" And the answer was "What were they doing in a gay bar?"
Quote from: Matilda on July 19, 2009, 08:23:13 PM
Well, that's the problem, isn't it? I mean, if we don't post our pictures online, we're normally accused of being "ashamed" of what we are as if our being a woman (or female) were an exercise in shame or a cover up to hide our other-than-woman/female identity. I don't understand it, but whatever!
If we post our pictures online, we might also be accused of using someone else's pictures since some of us have also been fortunate enough to assimilate quite well into the world as our true gender, so the way I see it, it's a no-win situation. We might as well be quiet and move on.
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi572.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fss161%2Fmatilda23%2F061.gif&hash=8f2301193b0dc73bb2e3c64f938f2048ea1a0591)
I think its best to actually meet somebody well respected on the forum in real life and that would stop most of the BS that goes on. Also I find that most people who tend to bark the loudest have the most to hide. They do that to draw attention away from themselves like Ted Haggard and his anti gay campaign. I would consider the source of the accuser before I worried about it.
I think, to answer Nero's question, is people do that kind of thing because they want to be like that person but don't want to go through the crap to look like them. It is hard work and is mentally and physically exhausting on the body. It is faster to grab somebodies pic and use that. I could never do that. I won't even post my own pic because I'm too fat, insecure, and mentally not confident enough about myself. I have shared with a few close friends in case the issue ever comes up though.
Quote from: Lori on July 20, 2009, 06:59:56 AM
[...]
I think, to answer Nero's question, is people do that kind of thing because they want to be like that person but don't want to go through the crap to look like them. [...]
Yup and if I understood correctly, he was referring to people actually claiming a pic is them, when it is not (as happens on, say, dating site profiles for example) - rather then just what goes in an avatar.
A general comment: An avatar is just an avatar - it doesn't have to be you and having something else there doesn't mean you're hiding anything. I don't think anyone here is seriously suggesting an avatar should be a self pic, are they?
Love,
Jumping Elephant. That's me. Really, it is. Would you like to feel my trunk?
I am actually the Blue Fairy, and if you ask nicely Finewine I will make you a real boy.
Quote from: Becca on July 20, 2009, 05:14:19 PM
I am actually the Blue Fairy, and if you ask nicely Finewine I will make you a real boy.
Aww I feel like Pinocchio now! When I asked for a wood that grows longer, I had something else in mind...*childish grin* :D
Yes, I have to agree (I don't have to....I just will)....If you can't afford to lose, you shouldn't gamble. So, if showing your pic here is a gamble that might cost you a job, or a relationship, don't.....unless it's important enough for you to do so.
Renate....I've seen you progress since you first came here. Yes, I have met one of the people here in person, spent most of a day :) A wonderful day. If you are anywhere nearby and are up for lunch, or coffee, a peaceful walk....whatever, I, or Marcy and I would be delighted! We're in Maryland.
Bev
The avatar is Marcy's soul mate, on any ordinary day
Gosh, again! <blush>
I always kind of felt bad for people that did that intentionally. Like, there must be some psych issues at play when "you" isn't good enough. I always thought it was tragic. I've been duped into believing things like that before. It hurts me more than it makes me angry though. Not because they aren't as "passable" or "good looking" -- I just HATE liars.
Oh... and please excuse the Photoshopped-looking avatar... I has a blue desktop. :)
i really doubt that someone who posted the real picture of themself, and was not attractive, would be getting many replies or special attention, regardless of how many posts they have, or how much of a good personality they showed. a person who is just introducing themself on this website with a simple undetailed introduction, no avatar, and only one post, is probably going to get very few replies, but if they had a picture of "themself" on there, and it was an attractive person, that's one way of getting alot more replies. the popularity system over the internet can work just the same as it does in the outside world, except you have the ability to pass yourself off as someone you really aren't.
Quote from: lacitychick21 on July 21, 2009, 12:10:18 AM
[...] I just HATE liars.
Ohh ako din! (Me too!) If there's one thing I prize more than anything else in a relationship, it's trust & honesty - one depends on the other. Of course, most people claim to value honesty anyway, so sometimes you don't find out until something goes wrong.
I've had some bad experiences in the past and so liars get ejected from any relationship with me. Fortunately I'm now with someone who seems to feel the same way I do. Yay!
QuoteRe: What is the allure of passing yourself off with somebody else's picture?
Maybe some peeps put up other peoples' piccies as their avatar & claim to be them because of low confidence or maybe it's really them?? Not all trans people have got passability problems.
Quote from: barbie on July 19, 2009, 06:54:08 PM
Several years ago, posting my own photos in some TG sites in my country provoked a few of M2F transsexuals. They posted messages straightforwardly saying that they are just upset and can not endure the fact that my body line is more feminine them despite their long-time effort. I knew first from them that M2F TS are so much occupied in delicate lines of body in photo. Even some of them insisted that I am not transgender, but a kind of sexual pervert, as I do not plan to take HRT or SRS.
Finally, one of them posted my old family photo taken from my home page. I contacted Korean cyber police team, but did not get much help. I just closed my home page, and left TG sites in Korea to avoid further fusses.
Yes. Because I provoked them by my photos, they revenged by the same photos.
I like this site, as no TS showed any hostile feeling to me. I think transgenders in Korea are still developing their identities, concepts and careers to be accpeted in pulbic. Except a few famous TS entertainers, most of m2f transsexuals here are working in transgender bar at night. I am sympathetic to them, and do not want to provoke them by my own photos, although I am an extreme exhibitionismist.
Barbie~~
The trans community as a whole is guilty of inculcating these crazy ideas that if you're trans, you've got to look like a ->-bleeped-<- so when a passable trans person shows their piccie they're labelled dishonest. What a load of tripe! It's happened to me in other places too & that's how I know. All the French trans sites are saturated with peeps that've been brainwashed to believe that trans women have got to look like drag queens & trans men like bearded ladies. God forbids somebody passable posts a piccie because they run the risk of being called liars. How's that for moral support?
Me, I used to put up my piccies before but then I realised I was being an idiot & stopped because only an idiot posts themselves on a public website when they "don't want anybody to know".
Hrmm. I did that a couple times on another forum when I was all big bodybuilder, before fulltime.
People talk to you differently. It's nice. Nuff said.
People do this for the same reason that people exaggerate their accomplishments and downplay their flaws, to make themselves look better and gain the approval of others. It's dumb but people do similar things all the time.
Quote from: Matilda on July 20, 2009, 06:53:45 PM
I think that sometimes it's necessary for people to voice their opinions loudly.....just to prevent "the vultures" from getting closer.
Couldn't agree more, some people are just outspoken. They have nothing to hide and don't really care what people think of them or what they have to say. I bark & I bark a lot. I've learnt that to have a louder bark leads other people to leave me alone more easily whilst others have a louder bark because they know they can follow it up with a hard bite if they need to. Call it a warning. ~wink~
Quote from: Jeannette on July 24, 2009, 04:56:35 AM
Maybe some peeps put up other peoples' piccies as their avatar & claim to be them because of low confidence or maybe it's really them?? Not all trans people have got passability problems.
The trans community as a whole is guilty of inculcating these crazy ideas that if you're trans, you've got to look like a ->-bleeped-<- so when a passable trans person shows their piccie they're labelled dishonest. What a load of tripe! It's happened to me in other places too & that's how I know. All the French trans sites are saturated with peeps that've been brainwashed to believe that trans women have got to look like drag queens & trans men like bearded ladies. God forbids somebody passable posts a piccie because they run the risk of being called liars. How's that for moral support?
Me, I used to put up my piccies before but then I realised I was being an idiot & stopped because only an idiot posts themselves on a public website when they "don't want anybody to know".
Somebody accused me of using Shania Twain's pic when I first joined this site. The amusing part's that I don't think I look like her but this person was convinced that it was Shania. ~laugh~
Putting up pics on TG websites is always a calculated risk when you want to keep your life private. If you've got to post pics, be sure that when you take your photos there is nothing in the background or surroundings that could be linked to you, such as your home, neighborhood, or car. Never keep them up for long & always delete them.
be sure that when you take your photos there is nothing in the background or surroundings...
... that make it look like you could not keep a house clean if your life depended on it.
A couple of reasons why someone might do this in my opinion:
The need for privacy/ stealth and not wanting to be exposed as a transexual
or
The person feels unattractive and places a high importance on physical appearance as a lot of people do more of us probably than we would like to admit and so uses the image of another in order to gain what they perceive incorrectly or otherwise to be a more positive reaction to them from others
There is one more reason that I can possibly think of which may pertain especially to the transexual and is a personal experience on my part. Before I came out to myself I had a male online personna for many years which would bring me some small degree of satisfaction. At the time I didn't know why I felt compelled to do this but now of course it all makes sense. Now I usually would not have need to post a picture of myself or I would just choose an avatar when posting my work for critique on a forum etc.. (I write) but on one occasion I was talking as a male in a chat room with a woman and she requested a photograph of me.
It seemed really important to me that she did not stop seeing me as a male not because of any real sexual interest but because it seemed really important at the time (again now I understand why) but I knew if I sent her a picture she would do so, this was pre T and when I was still presenting as female. And so I found a random picture of what I imagined I would look like if I were biologically male and sent it to her. It was a one off thing and we were not having any kind of relationship and the conversation was not overly sexual or anything although did get an "oh your cute" which made me feel sad because it wasn't me after all.
It never happened again probably because I got nothing from it and also because I didn't really use the internet for those kinds of purposes usually, this was an occasion wherby I had insomnia and so I was bored. So I guess I would kind of understand it as a one off or mistake but people who do it knowing full well what they are doing and do it with the deliberate intention to deceive repeatedly I think need help.
I obviously did because I needed to come out. So sort of self evident really.
Quote from: Leslie on July 24, 2009, 04:10:07 PM
Somebody accused me of using Shania Twain's pic when I first joined this site. The amusing part's that I don't think I look like her but this person was convinced that it was Shania. ~laugh~
You are prettier than Shania Twain, so they didn't know wtf they were talking about. :laugh:
Quote from: Leslie on July 24, 2009, 04:10:07 PM
Couldn't agree more, some people are just outspoken. They have nothing to hide and don't really care what people think of them or what they have to say. I bark & I bark a lot. I've learnt that to have a louder bark leads other people to leave me alone more easily whilst others have a louder bark because they know they can follow it up with a hard bite if they need to. Call it a warning. ~wink~
I know where you're coming from. Some peeps would want to silence you & love to shut you up ;). If you let them, they'll step on you. They wanna be the only ones that monopolise everything & be "right" on top of that. If you disagree with them, they've got power trips & you're labelled "ignorant" & "loud". It's good that you know how to bite. If biting doesn't work, you can always use an axe & cut their heads off, the same way they kill snakes.
Quote from: Lori on July 26, 2009, 06:17:21 AM
You are prettier than Shania Twain, so they didn't know wtf they were talking about. :laugh:
Why, thank you Lori. I wonder what happened to them. Banned? ~wink~
Well the ones I have caught using phony pics have real problems to begin with, and usually are a lot deeper than their honesty. Usually most of their lives is spent in some sort of fantasy. I just use a real pic because love me or hate me, what you see is what you get.
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fganjataz.com%2F01smileys%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2FloopyBlonde-blinking.gif&hash=4545ddf8251cf9c32ae6074d56e48bc34a755857)Kristi
I don't know why people do this. They are insecure about themselves
Quote from: Kristi on July 27, 2009, 08:12:55 PM
Well the ones I have caught using phony pics have real problems to begin with, and usually are a lot deeper than their honesty. Usually most of their lives is spent in some sort of fantasy. I just use a real pic because love me or hate me, what you see is what you get.
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fganjataz.com%2F01smileys%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2FloopyBlonde-blinking.gif&hash=4545ddf8251cf9c32ae6074d56e48bc34a755857)Kristi
it'd be stupid to use a fake pic in your case, you're already gorgeous. :laugh:
>>>>>>>>>>>>> wishes she had used the pic of someone/anyone else so that I didn't have to see my own photo every time I go to the post office.
Mich', contemplates posting a picture of a female dogs backside. As many of you most likely think of me as either an a##/b!t(h/or a combo of the two. ;D
Quote from: michellesofl on July 27, 2009, 11:34:34 PM
Mich', contemplates posting a picture of a female dogs backside. As many of you most likely think of me as either an a##/b!t(h/or a combo of the two. ;D
;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
Most don't think that Mich'. We
know it.
Sorry, Hon, but you left the door open.
;)
Janet
Oddly enough my Avatar is just a photo of me. Un-retouched, well ok rotated 90 degrees as I was laying down. I was home sick that day and decided that if I felt sick I would at least look good. I've always used a photo of me as some of the older folks on Susans will remember.
Beni
huh?!?
people really do this??!!!
Yeah people do it, and I think Annwyn pretty much summed up why. People talk to you differently when your'e pretty.
hum... i wonder what that feels like?
Quote from: Nero on July 27, 2009, 10:34:30 PM
it'd be stupid to use a fake pic in your case, you're already gorgeous. :laugh:
Watch it, big boy, flattery will get you everywhere!(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Ffc02.deviantart.com%2Ffs46%2Ff%2F2009%2F179%2F5%2Fd%2F5d8843ef48a08e72282243d03ab4d5bf.gif&hash=bfbb8a9e2265a03bb42089d11d4b4316bb09dad3)
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fganjataz.com%2F01smileys%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2FloopyBlonde-blinking.gif&hash=4545ddf8251cf9c32ae6074d56e48bc34a755857)Kristi