what is love ?
Is it situation that makes us in love ?
Is it impression ?
Is it habit ?
Is it sacrifice for the partner ?
Love is an emotion you feel for others and hopefully they reciprocate back to you
I will give it a go.
Quotewhat is love ?
A emotional connection to another person which may or may not be reciprocated.
QuoteIs it situation that makes us in love ?
A situation in which one finds one self may contribute to the feeling of love.
QuoteIs it impression ?
Most definitely. Also call a chemical attraction.
QuoteIs it habit ?
It is a hard habit to break.
QuoteIs it sacrifice for the partner ?
It is sacrifice for both partners, that is how love grows.
Love is the most powerful emotion there is, but hatred can kill it slowly. Love can overcome hate, but only if there is only a glimmer of hope within hate.
I am a hopeful romantic,
Janet
Baby don't hurt me.
Don't hurt me.
No more.
I had to! I'm surprised no one did before me!
Anyway, here's the thing..
Love, as an emotion, is something we "think" we know.
We idealize it and put it into poetry, but we don't "grok" it.
As an emotion, love is when you put someone else's well-being above your own.
It's not wanting to make someone else happy in and of itself, but to want their happiness even if that means your own misery. Love is being able to walk away.
But we confuse every infatuation with love.
It is a slight increase in heart rate associated with positiveness.
No, really I think it is more than that....
It is the emotional feeling we get when we feel a connection with someone that we cherish... I dunno, it can't really be explained...maybe it is just a "feeling"... a reaction of the body... but spiritually it is more than that... And spirituality is perhaps what you make it.... :-\
Quote from: Miniar on November 30, 2009, 02:14:31 PM
Baby don't hurt me.
Don't hurt me.
No more.
came here to say this... :icon_no:
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I believe "Love" is what you make it, and there are so many facets.
Love of mother, father, family
Love of a partner, wife or girlfriend.
Love of life, as a passion to ones heart
Love of self, the ability to know ones self and be happy.
Love of a job even, (if you're so lucky)
The term is used so liberally, but at the same time has meaning, when applied from the heart.
Evie
p.s. I'm also somewhat a romantic ::)
Quote from: Janet Lynn on November 28, 2009, 10:03:15 PM
Most definitely. Also call a chemical attraction.
Pardon my ignorance, however, I was under the impression that not all love was chemically related.
That's like asking what is wind, or light? It's an energy, a process, a nonlinear series of movements. You can't see it but you can see the effect it has on everything around it. You can try to explain it logically but ultimately words fail because it's not logical. Talking about love is like dancing about architecture.
I was under the impression that not all love was chemically related
Well, its more correctly electro-chemical in nature.
Seems we're splitting into two different directions here, the scientific, analytical breakdown of the meaning of love, and then the metaphysical, emotional feelings of what love is.
QuoteThe meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances: if there is any reaction, both are transformed. - Carl Jung
this could be applied to love as well
Curious to read, Evie
Quote from: EveMarie on December 26, 2009, 06:06:05 PM
I believe "Love" is what you make it, and there are so many facets.
Love of mother, father, family
Love of a partner, wife or girlfriend.
Love of life, as a passion to ones heart
Love of self, the ability to know ones self and be happy.
Love of a job even, (if you're so lucky)
The term is used so liberally, but at the same time has meaning, when applied from the heart.
Evie
p.s. I'm also somewhat a romantic ::)
Quote from: mija on December 27, 2009, 06:30:09 AM
That's like asking what is wind, or light? It's an energy, a process, a nonlinear series of movements. You can't see it but you can see the effect it has on everything around it. You can try to explain it logically but ultimately words fail because it's not logical. Talking about love is like dancing about architecture.
I quite agree with all of the above :D
Also, I believe that love is the all-encompassing emotion because it so easily engenders every other emotion that we as humans are capable of experiencing.
I think that by "romanticizing" love, making into something grandiose and poetic, we make it into something we will never be able to live up to.
We create an unobtainable ideal that prevents us from recognizing the love that we have, that we experience, that we're given.
Love isn't incomprehensible, when you relax and stop thinking of it as if it were, and instead just allow yourself to experience it as it is.
Do not quote me and then edit my words out of context. It's rude.
Quote from: tekla on December 27, 2009, 12:07:05 PM
I was under the impression that not all love was chemically related
Well, its more correctly electro-chemical in nature.
Love is, of course, a subjective issue. Science can't deal with subjective issues and for a long time, credable scientists didn't try.
In recent years, many have sought to do so but their work demonstrated that they are really quacks posing a scientists.
The issue of love is a good case in point.
There are, undoubtedly, many electro/chemical/biological features associated with love. Some scientists have tried to suggest that these cause love and the feelings we experience are an illusion created by these features.
However, this argument is flawed, to the point of derision for a number of reason.
1. There is no consistancy between different humans in exhibiting these features. Either in the nature of the features or their intensity.
2. These features can be exibited by people not experiencing love. QED.
3. Most emotions result in electro/chemical/biological changes, but the emotions come first. There is a group of illnesses which are associated with emotional state. Most gastrointestinal disorders for example.
(The nature of disease is cause and predisposition, except in the case of this group of diseases, where their needs to be cause, predisposition and emotion).
Stomach ulcers are associated with anger, especially frustrated anger.
Using the reasoning of those who argue that love is electro/chemical/biological, the stomach ulcer causes anger.
Yet numerous studies have concluded that those prone to frustrated anger frequently develop stomach ulcers where these didn't exist. So, the anger comes first.
This is clear indication that emotion can and does cause electro/chemical/biological changes to occur.
Dr. Drew Pinsky has said that "love" or attraction is when the sickest part of one person becomes attracted to the sickest part of another person.
I know that I was (in the past) attracted to people who were bad for me. I was attracted to bad people who were like my bad parents. I suspect that the 'familiar' is an attraction. My abusive father led me to become attracted to abusive men, however... it wasn't that simple. It is more complicated. My father was not "all-bad", he had some good qualities. It is a package deal.
Before I met my abusive ex partner who was an un-medicated bipolar, textbook narcissist, I had stopped believing in love. I had grown very critical of the whole concept of love. Especially after seeing my miserable parents and their dysfunctional relationship.
My ex was someone who was also transitioning. She was ahead of me. At the time she had been living full-time for a year and I was still afraid to go full-time. I thought I needed her. She was like my father, always right and quick to anger. Those were qualities I "admired". And I began seeking her acceptance just as I had sought the acceptance of my father. But when you seek someone's acceptance they only take you for granted. They devalue you and come to despise you. I loved her and I thought that my continued suffering and sacrifice would cause her to realize my love for her was true. I thought she would finally "accept" me and return my efforts instead of the lies and the abuse.
But seeking her acceptance only sealed my fate, the destruction of the relationship. Eventually her verbal abuse and lies were not enough and she had to cheat on me with others in my presence. Then she accused me of being a monster. She falsely accused me of all the negative attributes that were related to herself. The abuser accused the victim of being the abuser.
So what did I learn from all this?
Love is something we each carry inside of ourselves. In a perfect world we would share our love with everyone. In this imperfect world it can be dangerous to love others because when you love someone else, you allow yourself to become vulnerable.
I loved doing things for Angela. I loved seeing her happy. I loved knowing she was safe and healthy. Her joy became my joy. Her happiness became my happiness. But I was needy and co-dependant just as she was needy when I met her.
The greatest love of all was when I started loving myself. When I allowed myself to go forward, past all my fears, through transition. Because in order for love to be successful, you have to love yourself first. I had to stop giving everything to Angela. I had to start doing things for myself. I had to begin looking to myself as the person who was going to make a place for myself in the world. Whereas before, I was looking for someone else to save me or help me or show me the way.
I don't know if I will ever love anyone else again but I love myself and I have a pretty amazing life now. And my attractions have changed. I can no longer put up with abusive people, selfish, narcissistic people, liars, users, cheaters. Because I am in a better place. I am a better person.
Love yourself first. That is my message to you all.
What is love?
Love is the opposite of harm.
Love is the opposite of hate.
But when you add other aspects into a relationship, like sexual attraction or dependance... then it may seem like "love" becomes complicated, but really, you can always separate out the love from the other aspects. Some however, become confused and start thinking that sexual attraction is love, etc. etc.
Quote from: ifonlyican on November 28, 2009, 05:36:06 PM
what is love ?
Is it situation that makes us in love ?
Is it impression ?
Is it habit ?
Is it sacrifice for the partner ?
I dont know i never love someone
Absence of malice?
Love can't be described or explained to the world cause everyone is different.
My belief in LOVE:
Love occurs when you meet the right person for YOU. They say "Nobody is perfect" which I think it's a complete lie. The person that you love is perfect to you. They reach and meet every standard and expectation you want in a human. I can say perfection does exist in humans cause everyone has different expectation, requirement and standard. For example, apperance. Everyone find different people attractive and they might not be "Pretty, gorgeous etc" in others eyes but they are to you. That's how you meet love cause they reach your heart and soul like nobody else can. Love is also self-less and pure to me. Love is a very strong emotion which breaks into other emotions such as sadness, anger, jealousy. So, love is pretty much the God of emotions. Hate is like the devil (devil - is the bad conscious), always telling you to do bad stuf and love is like God (angel - who tells you to do the right thing) but the devil (bad conscious) can be thrown out of your head but where as love, it's difficult and hard cause people wanna do the right thing.
That's my thought anyways. You can't say who's right or wrong when defining love.
Love has different meanings for different people. I remember being in high school and I was in the car with my mom and some of my siblings. My sister (who was probably a freshman or sophomore in HS at the time) said something very mean to my mom. My mom told her she needed to apologize. My sister replied, "Love means never having to say you're sorry" in a rather bratty way.
You learn a lot about people when you see how they define love.
True love, is when both partners can spend everyday together and explore their minds and their souls can explode. It's mutual attraction, trust, peace, and inner connections.
What does it mean to be in love? Neurologically, it is similar to OCD (happy hormones released when you spend time with them, distress when this is denied). Physically, the response is similar to fear (pupils dilate, heart rate rises, sweat). In evolutionary terms, it is just the mechanism for ensuring the continuing propogation of genetic diversity of the species. But as for what it feels like? I do not know, I have never been in love.
Love (in the platonic sense, the only one I am really familiar with) is a deep connection with another person. You like spending time with them, they make you feel alive, their habits and idiosyncrasies make you feel warm inside because you know them inside out. You would fight for them above and beyond yourself.
But most of all, it's something you have to define for yourself, as I think several people have said already. I should end this with a last sentence that looks proper and flourishing, but I need sleep! :D
QuoteIt's mutual attraction, trust, peace, and inner connections.
It is sacrificing your life for another.
Not quite what was asked, but I recall, many years ago, someone asking a child why love is important.
The response was: Love in Important because if people didn't love each other, there wouldn't be any people.
For me, love is unconditionally being part of something larger, where the other participants also willingly and unconditionally join in, on equal grounds.
Of course there have to be compromises in any loving relationship. To be part of that something greater also means to support that same something.
To love is to strive for unity, while respecting individual differences. Sometimes, this is just simply impossible. There are people I simply cannot love, because I cannot respect their views on things.
Romantic love... To me, it is the same as the above, only far more intense, for only two people. It is a place where compromise is hardly ever needed, as both participants willingly strive to make one another happy instead of working for one's own needs. It is the trust that you don't have to pay attention to your own needs, because your partner's got you covered. And vice versa. To trust your life so completely to someone else in the knowledge that they in return trust you with theirs, and to find mirth and beauty in every waking hour of that union... To me, that is romance.
So far, it's working out great for me. :D
I don't believe there's any such thing as "unconditional" love.
Love always depends on both parties, on who they are and what they bring to the relationship. Those are the conditions for that specific love.
I see 'unconditional' as: None of us feel we need to compromise, or make any sacrifice.
QuoteI don't believe there's any such thing as "unconditional" love
Do not have children.
Quote from: lisagurl on June 16, 2010, 06:37:31 PM
Do not have children.
I don' think this thread is about love for children etc. as that would be weird considering some of the responses. ::)
For me romantic love for someone else doesn't necessarily mean it is reciprocated. Sometimes one can love another and it is not returned, or one loves more than the other.
I agree with Miniar, in that is there such a thing as 'unconditional' love? :-\
I don't think being a doormat means one has an abundance of love for the other, more like low self worth.
Doormat? The point to me is: all participants have one another's needs in mind instead of their own. This means that you're cared for just as much as you care for others. It's a full circle.
QuoteI believe "Love" is what you make it, and there are so many facets.
Love of mother, father, family
Love of a partner, wife or girlfriend.
Love of life, as a passion to ones heart
Love of self, the ability to know ones self and be happy.
Love of a job even, (if you're so lucky)
The term is used so liberally, but at the same time has meaning, when applied from the heart.
In at least one of his speeches MLK talked about there being 3 kinds of love, which he described by using the greek words
eros, philia, and agape; or in English,
romantic love, friendship, and charity/goodwill for humanity. This notion he borrowed (or lifted) from C.S. Lewis' book,
The Four Loves http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Four_Loves (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Four_Loves). The one MLK left out was called
storge, which to me seems to blend the line between philia and agape. I think it's interesting to kind of break love into categories like that, but in the end I feel there is a reason they all come under the heading of "love" and that is they are all parts of the same thing: emotional connections between people.
Love is where we find contentment and happiness in life, so it's an important thing to have in our lives. We are social creatures and we will start breaking down emotionally without it.
Transition has taught me that the highest expression of love is unconditional. When someone loves you unconditionally then they love you for who you are on the inside, not on the outside, not for how you make them feel, or what you can provide or do for them. Unconditional love is rare, but it's the greatest love there is.
Though I'm not Christian, I always thought this passage from the Christian Bible in I Corinthians 13 was a beautiful description of unconditional love:
Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant,
does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered,
does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth;
bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails.
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Baby don't hurt me, don't hurt me, no more.
Oh, for real? Love is subjective I think. There's no real way to measure love. In the loosest way, it's a deep caring about something.
I believe alot of things, but the most important to me is the marrying of both the physical scientific and the metaphysical/romantic views. who says you can't have everything!!!
There is a documented scientific reaction between two people that have "chemisty" and there is a long explanation for this, but it's not worth going into.
There is also the romantic/metaphysical reaction. Is the other person someone you have learned to be interested in, despite all the imperfect things you know about them? Will you be there to support that person when they are going through hard times, or would you rather just not deal with it. Self sacrifice has some part to deal with it yes, but it's a self sacrifice based on what we feel we have been given in the relationship.
I guess my point is that being informed on the scientific things helps to process the more heart felt and emtional sides of things. Sorta like knowing what to expect I spose.
Anyways, enough silliness from me, but great post and noone is really right or wrong, but free to share their thoughts!!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UR5jbV_TuO4# (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UR5jbV_TuO4#)
a long time ago, someone asked me this and i said love is a box of water
and yeah, im sticking with that ;D
love is the reason that aint a reason and the season that aint a season
Greeks had lots of different names for different kinds of love.
Storge being the close love of parents and children, also between close friends, there were others as well, agape is the love that is sort of spiritual, philos is a sort of intellectual love (where the name Philadelphia comes from)...
What love actually is, I've not a scooby. But I'm glad it is.
I've never heard of Storge? I thought that was Platonic love, like between friends..
Eros is romantic like arrows like cupid
i've read many books on love, so i know all about it
Quote from: aisha on August 17, 2010, 03:50:03 AM
i've read many books on love, so i know all about it
Hehehe, like it.
Me too ;D
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