I'm only a few months past my "a-ha" moment but I already have a largely female mindset (I think).  I repeatedly have to catch myself when talking to others about women - I always have to resist the urge to say "other women" as in "I don't know about other women but I...".  While it's certainly a confirmation of how I view myself, I'm not looking forward to the day I let my guard down and this slips out in the wrong crowd.

Does anyone else ever have this problem?

I had to resist the urge to shout out to the whole world I am what I am. As to how to deal with this, just speak freely and if someone corrects / catches you on it, say it was a freudian slip or something.

Welcome to my world

I have to be so careful sometimes...but as time goes on I care about that less and less actuall

I am "all girl" on the inside without any question in my mind at all! its just that in the world around me for now I have to be in boy mode to run my business and go into our little homophobic town in the foothills.

But I'm sure people do notice my legs are super smooth as well as underarms, my hair is getting longer, I always have clear nail polish on fingers and toes and the shorts I wear are a bit shorter than they used to be. Also my mannerisms have drastically changed in how I walk, act and talk...I know I am acting on that "fine edge" but when it comes down to me or the world I am leaning more towards "ME"

 I said "other women" once in high school. Aside from a little teasing, I imagine people would brush that sort of thing off as you being trans is not the first reason to come to mind, nor is it the most logical, since that sort of thing happens.

Quote from: Michelle G on September 26, 2012, 11:56:42 AM
Also my mannerisms have drastically changed in how I walk, act and talk...I know I am acting on that "fine edge" but when it comes down to me or the world I am leaning more towards "ME"

I totally get this.  Unfortunately I still can't slip past a certain line as I'm in uniform on a military post (for now), but walking around at night I often let myself forget where I am and I find my walk and bearing changing (and my mood improving) as I slip into girl mode.

I'm counting down the days until I can start growing my hair out and start laser and electrolysis on my face and body!

Do I care what other's think of me here?  No.  Do I care if I get kicked out of the military because of someone else's bias or ignorance?  Yes.  I'll leave honorably and with my head held high - thank you very much.

Then I can join the other girls at the salon and get pampered as a woman should be.  All this sand and heat is hell on my skin.  : ) 

it happens but the people that catch you tend to see it as a bad thing. i know when my little sister figured it out it was no big deal. same with alot of friends and co workers. but then again as paramedics we are family no matter what.

Sage...I honor and thank you for your service!!!

Only you will know when the time is "right" and appears that you have a great gameplan and mindset.

When you get into town we really need to meet up and visit

It's felt like a really good shift for me, from talking about wanting to do activities "with women" to "with other women" - it sneaked in without me noticing. But then I'm out as trans to more or less everyone. It must be a lot harder when you're only out selectively.

Michelle, I'll definitely give you a call, er email, when I get back to CA.  I think we're both in the same area and it sounded like you're in IT as well.  Funny.

I'm so looking forward to just being out and not worrying about perception or correct gender presentation so much.  Even with my wife, whom I've come out to, I have to dance around my words and pronouns as she's still adjusting to the new me (and likely will be for some time).

I did that for so long now sometimes it feels just the opposite??

Prior to coming out I was always paranoid that I would out myself in some way. Somehow I didn't though.

When I came out though things happened quickly and a lot of people were very accepting. I was able to quickly switch roles around friends and was accepted. I'm so grateful for that.

There were several times where I accidentally outed myself after my transition was under way though. There were people who I had honestly forgotten to come out to and I would occasionally run into one of them. I'd walk up, and start talking to them like we hadn't seen each other in ages, because we hadn't. The look was always so great, it went from who is this, to you look familiar, to OMG, <male name> is that you? Luckily though it was never a bad situation and I think I've managed to run into all of the people who I think I'm going to anyway.

I can be a total ditz sometimes

I had a proper FML moment on Monday when I introduced myself with my old name. Halfway out of my mouth I steam rollered it with my proper name and felt really stupid. Everyone knew who I was anyway and it was more of a formality of in person introductions. Thankfully that was the full extent of it and it ended there.  Go ME!